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Keith Substitute San Surprise Accident Arouses Array Of Adi Of Until Aided By Ab Api Chicago, April 1?Mr. Olwald L. Kcetli, satanic mathematics professor, atul the life of every party to which he goes, displayed rare form last week at the Fencers' National Convention at Chicago, when he lost his trousers ??i a poker game. Attending the convention as a personal representative Jof Bryant Bolt, sessile hypnotic expert, Kcetli wore Bolt's knickers and tried to fake through under the name of the popular young fencing specialist, but complications set in when he lost the knickers and the weather man predicted a cold wave. Still, reports from Caponeville have it that Prof. Keeth created quite a sensation there with his funny stories and sex appeal. In a personal appearance before the tri-weekly convocation of freshmen Bolt explained why it was impossible for him to attend the convention himself, holding the gathering spell-bound in one of the most brilliant addresses ever delivered in this state. The text for the address was taken from 1 Chronicles, 12, 5-6: "Eluzai, and Jerimoth, and Bealiah, and Sheariah, and Shephatiah, the Ilaruphitc, Elkanah, and Joezer, and Jashobeam, the Korhites," while the central thought running throughout the address was "Greater love hath no man than this, that lie let his brother substitute for him at the Fencers' Convention." ^WHENA NEEDS A / When a ^ pretty 8^ I wood.iti to mi^r fifffr ful of BI GIBBE TYPEV 1236 Hampton Street lu-i MR ffi- - . *.v r 11 ^^^^^^^*5H3532SHH235 Convu s Trousers > Even Himself nirable Accomplishments Unheard sence Of All-important >arel Speaking with a slight accent and an occasional twitch of the mustache Bolt talked vaguely for three hours and a half of the development of the petroleum industry in the south,, and the great need of vitamin Cj in the human diet. Only once did he falter, that being for a moment at the mention of Keeth, when he foamed slightly at the mouth. At the conclusion of the address the crowd stood as one, emitting deafening chcers, and even Dr. Murchyson rent the air with his eager cries of "More!". No more was forthcoming, however, and Bolt left the chapel attended by three members of the legislature. As the sun rose, as it usually docs in the morning, on March 3, Professor Keeth set sail for Chicago, drunk and early; lie was accompanied by Wyman Williams, equine instructor in co-ed tennis, and Billy Schweeney, head of the chemistry department, both of whom were going as far as Winnsboro. After being passed up a number of times (Prof. Keeth had failed to put on his "rat" cap) they finally caught a very nice ride to Orangeburg, finding to their utter dismay after arriving there that they were going in the wrong direction; Schweeney finally straightened things out, however, though not without a stiff argument with Mr. Keeth, whe still maintained that Chicago was just >feller , friend" j^ll collapsible collar makes you look illy... forget it, son, with a pipetRIGGS. This tranquil tobacco eace after panic. Long seasoned in s rare, spicy tobaccos are tempered less. There's not a bite in a barrel11G G S... the blend a feller needs. KEPT FACTORY FRESH by inner lining of CELLOPHANE :s WRITER SHOP We Buy, Sell, Rent, Exchange, an(* ^epa*r writers r All Makes Phone 9738 Ises Ci T ? Dead Chapter Lives Again L Professors Promises Support In Promoting- Revival Of Association For Studious After a lapse of many years, Kappa Beta Phi (Dum vivamus, cdimus et bi1 bermus) is again with us. A group of Carolina men met March 10 at the Jefferson Hotel and discussed the final details for the reorganization of the chapter. Professors George McCutchen and Oscar Keith represented the faculty at this meeting, proving beyond a doubt that the organization will be recognized | by the faculty. Among the many students present were, W. B. Worthy, Anion Harrelson, Speedy Spears, Nero Morrall, John Culbertson, Fred Hambright, and Wiley Brown. ! It was learned that there was a move. mctit on at Anderson College to start a I co-ed chapter there. Mr. Worthy left j for Anderson Sunday to look into the , matter. At this meeting the error of many?that of thinking that the three ] , stars on the key was only to make it look more like the key of Phi Beta , Kappa?was cleared up. These three stars are said to represent the old time Three Star Hennesy the boys had to , drink in "the good old days." An infor, mal dinner at the Junior League Tavern closed the session. v. B. o. south of Savannah. But though the > trivial details of the journey are very interesting they are for the most part not of a character permitting their publication here; suffice to say, then, that Mr. Keeth was exceedingly popular with the ladies en route, and that it is a wonder that he ever arrived in Chicago at all. At the convention city there is 110 question but that Kcetli was the idol of the multitudes. He always kept them laughing, and just when everything grew quiet he would slip around and hit someone over the head with a piece of lead pipe, or drop a hand grenade down the back of some unsuspecting lady. After the loss of his knickers he was more in evidence than ever, and several of the older ladies were heard to remark, "Isn't A Famous Angler Honest John Seeall, Roads scholar, and foreman of the campus unit of the CWA as he appeared after superintending the repairs on the Woman's building. It is rumored that the plastering of the building was extended to Seeall's own person. nwn inmiin ? mihmhiimiiiii iuiiuii Business Training is Essential to Everyone, Particularly College Men and Women. Day, Night, and Special Classes. Draughon's Business College 1218 Sumter Street ?- THE STATE ] PARKER's VAC Hold 102 Per C The "University" 5 Cents 1 Everyone Loose Leaf Books, Fillers i The Stati ^Printers, Sfaftonei COLUMI ~ ?w mm ^ . ?mmmmmarnmmmm *? W 0 hicago Drunken Dr. ] Drinks E Billiard Drinker Elizabeth Poolball, president of th newly formed Billiard Drinker's clut as she appeared in action at a recer house dance of the club. The B. B. C was formally the Zipper Take A! sorority, SONG OF THE YELLOW SHEET By Bou-del-air Sophist Joey philistine Gradual ingratc, popish fiend, Hungry pedant, dining on Eighteenth century lexicon. Simple Bobby, salty Bass, Lecture demon to his class, Pretends knowledge full abounds | All around his dull surrounds. Mister merry, grayish weather, S. C. dean knows altogether Fee, fi, futn and a... and a.. Everything no understands. Madame Swanky do re nice Comprenez-vous sweet Paree, Nous parlous francais to her Replies madame, non, non, m'sieur. Oskar Lovelll Europe bound Romance' lang's travel hound, Chev-val-yay's?hi Villon! Come on femmes, Allon, allons! . u. s. o. he the cutest thing!" Rut one day very dull fellow, even at that perhaps bit more intelligent than his playmate! suspected that the man was not the at thorized representative (Bolt), and sup gested that Keeth hypnotize all the as sembled gentry at one time; whcreupoi Oswald blushed furiously, and the fare became plainly evident. Quite a few o the stronger fencers laid hold of Pre (essor Keeth and threw him through transom. While sailing through the ai he got it into his head that he was wren, and when last seen he was hang ing around a horse barn near Milwaukee u. I. o. Innocent: What ^re you studying i Carolina? Studc: Pharmacy. Innocent: Why not go to Clemson? Studc: Well, why? Innocent: Why, I thought that WJ where they taught farming. SENIORS AND GRADUATE STUDENTS, who plan to teach next year, are cordially I vlted to confer with SOUTHERN TEACHERS' AGENCY South Carolina National Bank Building COLUMBIA, S. C. TOAL'S STUDIO 1435 Main Street Columbia, S. C. iOOK store UMATIC PENS Sent More Ink Pencil with oversize eraser Likes It ind all College Stationery 5 Company % Office Turniiure IIA,S. C. ' .v. , V" Conve Dierson fribbling Drops *1 Announcement that the local charter I of the Zippers Take All sorority had been I withdrawn by the national convention J was made yesterday by Elizabeth Corntaker, president of the local group. At the same time it was learned that the group will not disband but will continue as a local society to be known as the Billiard Drinkers Club. The action on the part of the convention was taken when it was called to their attention that the local chapter house was not being kept in good repair. There have been frequent disorders in the local chapter house and, according to Mary Erasmus B. Black, national president, the Zippers will not tolerate disorderly houses in their sorority. ^The action came as a surprise to local authorities. R. Gv Bull, chaplain of the student body, said today that he ine tends to find out the truth of the assertions and warns the girls that he is com^ i"g to see them. Dean Nelliesoti Frier% son also expressed great interest in the U facts revealed. The name Billiard Drinkers is not - new to the campus as the sorority has long gone by that name on the campus. The name was given as a result of the billiard drinking parties given every Sunday afternoon by the sorority and attended by leading members of the faculty. Wyman Williams, R. L. Meriwether, Orin Crow, and Mydamn Sweeney were recently suspended from the faculty for over-indulgence in the drinking of billiards at these parties. Members of the local sorority arc, Gordon Small, Whiley Brown, Octavius (the Great) Atnato, Bob Avinger, Billy Baldwin, J. S. Bellinger, Shep Black, A1 Brissey, Willie Cason, Hugh DistleHave Your Next Banquet At THE ROSE MARY TEA ROOM 1128 Hampton Ave. Phone 32(17 Catherine W. Gaillard?Hostess EASTER a Sleeve & Sleeveless j Sweaters $1.00 to $3.95 it Sweaters, Shirts and I the theme of Spring a at low Easter Prices. nW MICHAEIS-STEI CLOTHES Shorts J Shirts 3i HOPED. "If It's Not Rig: Corner Mail mmm=ssa^ e mtions .< ' ' ; : ' ' :<- \ *jc ~ Braying Walton Braying (Shine) Walton, who yesterday went into training for next fall's rushing. Walton scored a clean knockout last fall when he entered the lists# for the honor of dear old Silly Asses everywhere and prospects look dark for next year's freshman class. hurst, Nuisance Bell, Joe Gallachat, Paul Watcrofif, Roy Stroud, and J. E. Rivers. u. a. o., Prof.: Now, I do not object to you students looking at your watches during my Iccture, but tlfc first one I see listening to sec if the timepiece has stopped, out he goes! | j * > ' i DlamoncU, Jawelry, Watch#*, Clase ![ ,[ Ring*, Modal*, Frat Plna and Prlxa !? i, Cups of the Better Kind. Moderata <! |? In cost. Superior In Quality. j SYLVAN BROS. 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