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THE NEWBERRY SUN. NEWBERRY. S. C. VIRGIL By Ln KleU RIMIN' TIME By POSER MUTT AND JEFF One hour later.. Jaw. i got FIREDJ THOSE TELEVISION GUVS ALREADVpV TELL VOU A jf^( million things TO DO/ AND JUST BECAUSE WHAT r FORGOT ONE / DID LITTLE THING ( VOU THE V GOT SORE J FORQETr AND GIMME A, ^ THE GATE/ By >Bttd r FORGOT TO PUT ^ BLANKS IN MV GUN > AND I SHOT TWO RADIO COMEDIANS, A VICE-PRESIDENT, ( JITTER CP LOOK. HONEY— SOME GADGETS I PICKED UP ON THE WAY HOME-THIS IS A TRICK VASE/ By Arthur Pointer "You say the vacuum cleaner has done away with rug beating? You don't know my wife, mister! She uses BOTH methods?" 'Dad, would you mind leaving the room? I'd like to be alone with Perry Como." Fast Gay Two farmers, sitting by the stove in tne village store, were engag ing in a little exaggeration test. “Naow, I oncet had a nephew,’* said vue. “who was as fast a crit ter as <iver I see. Why he use tew hev people shoot at him, and then outrun the bullet for five miles and get clean away." “Wal, yew won’t think that’s so fast when yew hear about my cousin. Why that man could blow out tne light and then be un dressed by the time the room got dark." REVENGE An English lady, self-appointed supervisor of village morals, ac cused a workman of having re verted to drink because *‘with her own oyes," she had seen his wheel barrow standing outside a public house. The accused made no de fense, but that evening placed his wheelbarrow outside her door and left it there all night. Naturally "Really, Helen," he said when ha saw her. for the first time in five years, "you've changed so I would hardly'have known you." 'That’s a little ambiguous," she answered archly. “For better or worse?" “Why," he said enthusiastically, “you could change only for the better, of course!" Want-Ad “Lovely kitten desires position as companion to little girl. Will also do light mouse work." PEDIGREED HATS A member of an old Boston fam ily, now 80, still lives on Beacon Hill and carries on the family tra ditions. Last winter she entertained a guest from the Middle West to whom she presented her small but select circle of friends. Shortly before leaving, the guest remarked, “Emily, your’friends .are wonder ful, but tell me, where do they get their hats?" x “Oh, my dear,” Hie Bostonian said with pained surprise, “we don’t get our hats. We have our hats." Correction Conversation at a Washington dinner party turned on Postmaster General Donaldson’s directive slash ing home mail deliveries. From there it drifted to the possibility of Senator Margaret Chase Smith capturing the GOP Presidential nomination in ’52. Teased the din ner partner on her left: “Tell us, Margaret, what will your platform be?" Without thinking, she blurted: “I’m for two mails a day." To the other guests—only half hearing what had gone before—that sounded like a mighty off-color remark. “Margaret!" .gasped one woman. The lady Senator hastily correct ed: “I meant to say I would favor two deliveries a day"—and every one howled. You’re Out Job interviewer—“Do you know anything about electricity?" Applicant—“Yes." Interviewer—“What’s an arma ture?" Applicant — “He’s a guy who fights for nothing.” JUST FOR FUN A woman came into the milli nery department of Harold’s de partment store in Minneapolis recently and tried on ail the frothy, giddy bonnets she could find. Finally the buyer of the department, asked: “Did yon find anything yon liked?" “I didn’t come in to boy," re plied the customer, “I just came in for laughs." Chocolate Shutters Chocolate brown is most effec tive when used as an exterior •trim color on a house. Brown shutters are attractive with white, pale yellow or pale green. Concrete Bird Bath Is Easy to Construct Birds Like This Style 1| BAG of cement, some sand ** and gravel will do for several of these. Illustrated directions with list of materials for pedestal and puddle types are shown on pattern 227. Price of pattern is 25#. Workshop Pattern Service Drawer 10 Bedford Hills, New York Tee for Two Add a mother-in-law story. Nib lick, a man inordinately proud of his golf scores, took his mother- in-law with him to the course one day. After depositing her on a bench, he and a chum started for the first tee. There Niblick an nounced, *T want to make a good, long drive now. My mother-in- law is watching from the bench outside the clubhouse." “Why, that’s almost 300 yards!" his chum cried. “You couldn’t possibly hit her from here." KIDNEYS MUST REMOVE HCE&WASTE folks eompUdaMof bsctIm boekseboT*Iqm*<S P«P sod «—rpr, he* da rhea sad dlssfsiss Don’t soffor longer with these discomforts rednced^jddnejr^ function is getting ^yoa and strain, over-exertion or axpoeure to cold. Minor bladder irritattoos das to cold. Don't neglect yoar kidneys If these condi tions bother joa. Try Dona’s Pills—a mild diuratie^ Vmd ^saocesjrfnily^hr mflliona^ f or It's smaxjng how suay.^Mt Pm*’* gljj High School Graduates IN DEMAND FOR NURSING Nwrael Pot further Information, folk fo the Dimeter of Nemos at veer local hospital, or your school advisor, or apply to o collegiate or koo> pitaiScnool of Nursing. It's Wonderful the Way Chewing-Gum Laxative Acts Chiefly to r REMOVE WJ • Boro's the socreft millions of disoovorsd about mx-A-ssnij •rn chowlBg-gum laxative. Tes. JX dUIerentCp* Doctors say that start that* “I right In tbs i digs* tod. Largo oqbsb os sun upset digestion, flush away food you need for health a GOOD FOOD STT. oaTwutofcfet'Stt Pffis today! you You feel But get bowel Where It food! You at iqt to _ -Murrl tla^nor 25#. 80# or only 1*. out. - Bom Pills my AfTW M.IW* mildness tests isgl til TmesuSshed muif CAMEl snoMORt LEWIS bouonsi m ■1*1 illi, WL* § '' i m fiJSillL'fii i - fe. ' ■u i ^ *mX** s . . / . . wMM J : > "Ic. « 600 herd of 100 Guernsey cattle. . ,,,,. used Firestone dres for 13 years and have them on all 3 of my tract ora today. I’ll stick SO the Firestone Traction-Cen ter dres nndl somebody else shows aw that an other tire will do a Pfftff job. Eau R. Thomkom Tinstone CHAMPIONS BOTH Tike Richard Pappe and Earl Thompson, you probably have a definite preference for either an Open-Center or a Traction- Center Tire. That’s because you know the soil conditions on your farm better than anyone else. If your judgment and experience tell you that an Open-Center Tire is better, take a good look at the Firestone Cham pion Open-Center. It is the only Open-Center Tire with Power-Arc traction bars, tapered and curved to take a deep, full-traction bite. The bars are curved and flared to cup. the soil for a better grip and positive cleaning. If your judgment tells you that a Traction-Center Tire will do a better job, then there’s just one tire for you — the patented Firestone Champion Traction- Center. It’s the only Traction-Center Tire on the market. It is the stand-by of a million farmers today. Either of these dies will do a great job for you. They’re both Champions. Listen to tko Vote*