The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, May 18, 1951, Image 7
THE NEWBERRY SUN. NEWBERRY. S. C.
VIRGIL
By Ln KleU
RIMIN' TIME
By POSER
MUTT AND JEFF
One hour later.. Jaw. i got
FIREDJ THOSE
TELEVISION GUVS
ALREADVpV TELL VOU A
jf^( million things
TO DO/
AND JUST BECAUSE WHAT
r FORGOT ONE / DID
LITTLE THING ( VOU
THE V GOT SORE J FORQETr
AND GIMME A, ^
THE GATE/
By >Bttd
r FORGOT TO PUT ^
BLANKS IN MV GUN >
AND I SHOT TWO
RADIO COMEDIANS,
A VICE-PRESIDENT, (
JITTER
CP
LOOK. HONEY— SOME GADGETS I
PICKED UP ON THE WAY HOME-THIS
IS A TRICK VASE/
By Arthur Pointer
"You say the vacuum cleaner has done away
with rug beating? You don't know my wife,
mister! She uses BOTH methods?"
'Dad, would you mind leaving the room? I'd like to
be alone with Perry Como."
Fast Gay
Two farmers, sitting by the stove
in tne village store, were engag
ing in a little exaggeration test.
“Naow, I oncet had a nephew,’*
said vue. “who was as fast a crit
ter as <iver I see. Why he use tew
hev people shoot at him, and then
outrun the bullet for five miles
and get clean away."
“Wal, yew won’t think that’s so
fast when yew hear about my
cousin. Why that man could blow
out tne light and then be un
dressed by the time the room got
dark."
REVENGE
An English lady, self-appointed
supervisor of village morals, ac
cused a workman of having re
verted to drink because *‘with her
own oyes," she had seen his wheel
barrow standing outside a public
house. The accused made no de
fense, but that evening placed his
wheelbarrow outside her door and
left it there all night.
Naturally
"Really, Helen," he said when
ha saw her. for the first time in
five years, "you've changed so I
would hardly'have known you."
'That’s a little ambiguous," she
answered archly. “For better or
worse?"
“Why," he said enthusiastically,
“you could change only for the
better, of course!"
Want-Ad
“Lovely kitten desires position as
companion to little girl. Will also
do light mouse work."
PEDIGREED HATS
A member of an old Boston fam
ily, now 80, still lives on Beacon
Hill and carries on the family tra
ditions. Last winter she entertained
a guest from the Middle West to
whom she presented her small but
select circle of friends. Shortly
before leaving, the guest remarked,
“Emily, your’friends .are wonder
ful, but tell me, where do they get
their hats?" x
“Oh, my dear,” Hie Bostonian
said with pained surprise, “we
don’t get our hats. We have our
hats."
Correction
Conversation at a Washington
dinner party turned on Postmaster
General Donaldson’s directive slash
ing home mail deliveries. From
there it drifted to the possibility
of Senator Margaret Chase Smith
capturing the GOP Presidential
nomination in ’52. Teased the din
ner partner on her left: “Tell us,
Margaret, what will your platform
be?"
Without thinking, she blurted:
“I’m for two mails a day."
To the other guests—only half
hearing what had gone before—that
sounded like a mighty off-color
remark. “Margaret!" .gasped one
woman.
The lady Senator hastily correct
ed: “I meant to say I would favor
two deliveries a day"—and every
one howled.
You’re Out
Job interviewer—“Do you know
anything about electricity?"
Applicant—“Yes."
Interviewer—“What’s an arma
ture?"
Applicant — “He’s a guy who
fights for nothing.”
JUST FOR FUN
A woman came into the milli
nery department of Harold’s de
partment store in Minneapolis
recently and tried on ail the
frothy, giddy bonnets she could
find. Finally the buyer of the
department, asked: “Did yon
find anything yon liked?"
“I didn’t come in to boy," re
plied the customer, “I just came
in for laughs."
Chocolate Shutters
Chocolate brown is most effec
tive when used as an exterior
•trim color on a house. Brown
shutters are attractive with white,
pale yellow or pale green.
Concrete Bird Bath
Is Easy to Construct
Birds Like This Style
1| BAG of cement, some sand
** and gravel will do for several
of these. Illustrated directions
with list of materials for pedestal
and puddle types are shown on
pattern 227. Price of pattern is
25#.
Workshop Pattern Service
Drawer 10
Bedford Hills, New York
Tee for Two
Add a mother-in-law story. Nib
lick, a man inordinately proud of
his golf scores, took his mother-
in-law with him to the course one
day. After depositing her on a
bench, he and a chum started for
the first tee. There Niblick an
nounced, *T want to make a good,
long drive now. My mother-in-
law is watching from the bench
outside the clubhouse."
“Why, that’s almost 300 yards!"
his chum cried. “You couldn’t
possibly hit her from here."
KIDNEYS
MUST REMOVE
HCE&WASTE
folks eompUdaMof bsctIm boekseboT*Iqm*<S
P«P sod «—rpr, he* da rhea sad dlssfsiss
Don’t soffor longer with these discomforts
rednced^jddnejr^ function is getting ^yoa
and strain, over-exertion or axpoeure to
cold. Minor bladder irritattoos das to cold.
Don't neglect yoar kidneys If these condi
tions bother joa. Try Dona’s Pills—a mild
diuratie^ Vmd ^saocesjrfnily^hr mflliona^ f or
It's smaxjng how suay.^Mt Pm*’* gljj
High School Graduates
IN DEMAND FOR NURSING
Nwrael Pot
further Information, folk fo the
Dimeter of Nemos at veer local
hospital, or your school advisor,
or apply to o collegiate or koo>
pitaiScnool of Nursing.
It's Wonderful the Way
Chewing-Gum Laxative
Acts Chiefly to
r REMOVE WJ
• Boro's the socreft millions of
disoovorsd about mx-A-ssnij
•rn chowlBg-gum laxative. Tes.
JX dUIerentCp*
Doctors say that
start that* “I
right In tbs i
digs* tod. Largo oqbsb os sun
upset digestion, flush away
food you need for health a
GOOD FOOD
STT.
oaTwutofcfet'Stt
Pffis today!
you
You feel
But get
bowel Where It
food! You at
iqt to _
-Murrl tla^nor
25#. 80# or only 1*.
out. -
Bom Pills
my
AfTW M.IW*
mildness tests
isgl
til
TmesuSshed
muif
CAMEl
snoMORt
LEWIS
bouonsi
m
■1*1 illi, WL*
§ '' i m
fiJSillL'fii i
-
fe. '
■u i ^ *mX** s
. . /
.
.
wMM
J : >
"Ic.
« 600
herd of 100
Guernsey cattle. . ,,,,.
used Firestone dres for
13 years and have them
on all 3 of my tract ora
today. I’ll stick SO the
Firestone Traction-Cen
ter dres nndl somebody
else shows aw that an
other tire will do a
Pfftff job.
Eau R. Thomkom
Tinstone
CHAMPIONS BOTH
Tike Richard Pappe and Earl Thompson,
you probably have a definite preference
for either an Open-Center or a Traction-
Center Tire. That’s because you know the
soil conditions on your farm better than
anyone else.
If your judgment and experience tell
you that an Open-Center Tire is better,
take a good look at the Firestone Cham
pion Open-Center.
It is the only Open-Center Tire with
Power-Arc traction bars, tapered and
curved to take a deep, full-traction bite.
The bars are curved and flared to cup. the
soil for a better grip and positive cleaning.
If your judgment tells you that a
Traction-Center Tire will do a better job,
then there’s just one tire for you — the
patented Firestone Champion Traction-
Center. It’s the only Traction-Center Tire
on the market. It is the stand-by of a
million farmers today.
Either of these dies will do a great job
for you. They’re both Champions.
Listen to tko Vote*