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THE WEEKLY LEDGER; G4FENEY, S. C., JANUARY 30, 1896. RUFUS SANDERS. Some Short Stories From Forks of the Greek. the •n« rialn 01,1 1 ' Vllh I’lfliity of Sons*. Bad •" **l>t —llnl» Brilt#n- bani'H I iii>> Olrl and tli® l>e®r Creak plantation—Tlie ^loat ttreenesl Alau—And So t'ortli. (Copyright, isoe.) You hoar some people say that it naturally don’t run in the human family for a woman to have any business sense. But I have mixed around amongst the Women folks considerable in my day ■4*ry and time, and bless gracious I have come to the conclusion that they havo got more sense—and more different sorts of it—than the best and smartest of men. What makes mo say what 1 do? Well, when I took my seat and sH down with pen in hand, as it were, to give out a few scat- terin facts concernin everyday life in the woods and hills, it come to my mind about how the old lady Singleton belt her own with the Hrittonham boys and win the fight bauds down. \ Bad Medicine in Bifir It come to p iss along in the Christmas and New Year times last year that Hob Brittenham and Miss Net Singleton went and got married. Now the Brit- tenham boys are famous in this country for coverin all the ground and travellin all the gaits. Everything fr un a scrub horse race to a free-for-all fight goes with them. They are all bad medicine and tremendius big doses of it. It had only been three weeks to the day since Bob and Miss Net got married when the Brittenham boys went to a horse race somewheres down in the Flat Woods and got into a free and bloody fight with the Tomlinsons, which the Tomlinson boys they was also hot stuff and a whole pa-'Sle of it. That was one horse race which I didn’t go and see, whereas I can’t give •11 the fac's and v\h> refores in regards to the terrible scrape between the Brit- tenbams and the Tomlinsons. Hut at any rates, it seems like when the firin ceased and the smoke cleared away three of the Tomlinson boys had got bad wounded and Hob Brittenham was dead. , In them days it likewise also come to pass that the finest plantation on Deer Creek belonged to Hob Brittenham in j his own full name, and accordin to the will he had made before ho married the plantation would belong to his wife when he was dead and gone, so long as she lived, and then fall to their chil- ] dren when she died. And by gatlins Hob Brittenham hadn’t been dead ten days is-fore the pther. Brittenham 1 oys p it in to buy Bob’s widder off and git their fingers on that fine plantation. They lowed undbr the will she couldn’t claim nothin but her lifetime interest, and since Boh didn’t leave no children tho land would finally at last revert bark to his brothers any how. They wanted to buy her out and pay her what was r.ght and proper for her lifetime interest in tho plantation. In tho maintime Miss Net, Bob’s widder, had went back to live with her mother, and I k no wed good and well that when the game come down to a pinch it would lay between the Britten ham hoys on one side and tho old lady Singleton on the other. There was some powerful fine pints in the game, and whilst it was none of my business I couldn't h‘ lp from watchin tho ‘•docu ments” dost and constant. One Woman's Ku-Iiicsh Sense. “It is a monstrous pritty game if the cards will but only run right,” says I to mother one night if ter supper, “and there Is plenty of nerve on both sides. But as for me, 1 will give odds of three to one and bet on the old lady Singleton. If tho Brittenham hoys didn’t have to buck agin nobody on the other sjdo but Bob’s widder they maybe mougnt beat her out. Miss Net is young in regards to the ways of this world anyhow, and besides that her heart is broke now on account of poor Bob's death. “But the old lady Singleton she ain’t gone nowheres, and if I recollect right She put off her wi nder’s weeds more than twenty years ago. When it comes to a strong and knotty business pint she has got more s nse than most any man I have ever saw, and she can see further on ahead into the dim and d slant future than any other old lady in the round created world. A cord in to my figura tion, for onest the Brittenham boys have met their match. Let tho game go bravely on. Wo can wait and watch and see.” That was in tho Christmas and New Year times last year, and 1 didn’t know for certain how the Brittenham boys had come out of the gam" till one day last week. Hut 1 l o n got some news from over there in the hill country which goes to show that they got beat at every p>nt, whilst the old lady Sin gleton win the game hands down. From what the hill country people say, it would seem like tho old lady soon got so she wouldn't let Bob's wid der talk to the Brittenham boys about that plantation on Deer Creek. When they come to see their brother’s widder the old lady she would go out and do the taikin and keep Miss Net busy in the kitchen. As time went on the Brit tenham hoys got restless and mad and threatened to go to law with the case. But the old lady told 'em they could pop their whips and pitch in. You havo heard people say that time is a mighty good lawyer, and old Mises Singleton she was playing for tune. It uvw comes to pass that there is a littlo stranger over at tho Singleton place. It was two or three weeks bo- foro Christmas when she opened her baby blue eyes on the wonders of this world. In general appe rments she Is the very spitten image of poor Bob Brittonham, and they havo named her Bob for him. Naturally of course old Mises Singleton and Miss Net. they think the onlyest baby in tho whole diseov- red country is rigut there at their house. And the other Brittenham hoys, where are they? They are still i rui^m around in the settlen: nt, but they don’t own a blessed h.t more land down on Deer Creek than they did at this time last year And the old lady Singleton, where is she? She is riglit over tliere n t he hill country tendin to her own business and takin care of tho widder and the baby. And that fine plantation down on Deer Creek, what about that? Well, it belonged to Bob Brittenham when ho was killed. It now belongs to Bob’s widder, Miss Net, so long as she mought live. After that it will belong to their babv girl, little Bob, henceforth and forever, •‘Tho siime llurn I'cllsr.’ In my day and time 1 havo met up with a right smart sprinkle of green people. But by long odds the most greenest man 1 have ever saw was a long, tall, ganglin rooster that come into the settlement onest from some wheres down in the riv r country. » The stranger put up for the night at the Pickens place, which the Pick uses they was all powerful polite and proper people. The next mornin when tho stranger got up and come out to break fast old man Pickens said te him, says he, “good mornin, sir.” And the old lady then up and said to him. says she, “go. d mornin, sir.” Then one of tho girls spoke up and likewise also says, “good mornin, sir.” In the main time the stranger hadn’t said nothin and looked like lie didn’t know what they meant. But by this time I reckon he come lo the conclusion that som ‘body would have to explain. “Why!” says he, “I am the same durn feller that, staid her * last night!” rou a WHAT TO FIGHT. Sam Jon«a on 'Waraand Rumors of Wars." The Fliinnclal tjnrntlon Also Come* !■— I.eietoiifl Taught l>y the Ilattlelleld— r»trlotlniii That Clianiplon* the Kl«lit« ef the lloiae. If we have plenty of breatl and meat, clothes und shelter, what is the use in failing out and fighting? Better hod we be like Saint Puul when he said: “i hnve learned in whatsoever state I am therewith to be content,” Discontent is the ruin of a man ora nation. A di»- jontented spirit brings on war and de vastation. Imaginary insults, and then injured innocence, and then comes the declaration that we will die for our honor. A man or a nation don’t got honor by dying for it, and they can’t keep it by dying for it. Honor comes tCOPYRIGHT, JSW ] They are. lighting down in Culm; and I am for the bottom dog every time. 1 ho|K* the Cubans will lick the crowd to him and them of whom it may be that is trying to keep them in subjec- said: “Well done, thou good and faith- tion. And then Oermauy and Great ful servant. Thou hast been faithful Britain are getting their horns in the aver a few things. I will make thee mud and pawing dirt, and old Uncle ruler over many things.” Sam is shaking his fist at somebody. Somehow or other my patriotism, if Turkey is gobbling a little, and Russia is mewing like a cat, and Canada is hiss ing at the stars and stripes in a pub lic theater, et cetera. It seems that the whole business wants to tight, and they may get up a sort of ,i general fracas. Some one has said the way to keep down civil war is to keep up a racket and have an occasional war with a foreign country. As long as men are selfish and proud and mean there are going to be rows and fusses. Great Britain is proud and dogmatic and stub born, and will tote off anything she can put in her pocket. But she can’t put America in her pocket with Ven ezuela, and I doubt if she tries to put Venezuela in her pocket. Talk about our being of one blood, and all that sort of thing. Don’t brothers fight? Haven’t brothers murdered each other? They say a family row is the worst sort of a row. Hut while many in this country and perhaps in other countries are talking about wars and the Monroe doctrine, etc., our financiers seem to be looking after their pockets. It is said that this country will not go to war with Great placed the plate on the floor and in re- Britain, for our financiers will not let s P°nsc to a loud whistle the four ap- us. It is avarice that got up the neared and partook of their food with- tiouble; and they sav the hair of the 3ut interfering with aach other. After dog is good for a bite, maybe avarice dinner the three animals lay down to- enn keep it down. I am much more con- P ether before the fire, and the raven I have any, is the patriotism that stands up for and champions the rights of women and children and of the home. My patriotism has all it can do in denouncing the evils that blight home and crush the lives of women and children. The saloons, the gambling hells, the bawdy houses, the race tracks, the dishonest deeds and bad examples of men furnish targets for all of my guns, and amid the wants and needs 'of women ami children I find the task of ministering to them greater than I can perform. Let’s not fight England. Let’s fight the devil and wickedness, and gambling bells and shamely houses and every thing that ever wrung a tear from a mother’s eye or broke a good wife’s heart. Sam P. Jones. ANIMALS* QUEER FREAKS. Story of a Dog, Raven, Cat and Rat All Eating Together. A traveler tells that he once saw a fine mastiff, a large rat, a raven and an Angora cat all dine together from the same plate of soup. Their owner 'ijii*re was one man so green till you could mighty nigh scrape it off with a splinter, and he couldn’t see no use .n people say in good mornin to the same durn fi ller" that bad been there all night. A Serious Itirntt. From all 1 can hear, the Democratic party is now si rously threatened with Julo Nabors. .Itile is’ giv ng it out through tic si'tth'i.'ient that ho is goin to quit the Third party and come on back home to the old lick log. “I have Ir on gallop.n#with the Third party from the first, jump," said ,Iule in tellin th«* hoys about it over at the Cross Roads the other day. “Accordin to what the leaders tell me, we have whipped the ti.-ht in every election by tremendius big majorities, hut the other fellows do the countin and beat us out of the offices. So I have come to tho conclusion that any party which can't taxe a big majority and b at a measly littlo minority n«-v r w 11 stack up any thing to speak of. VV , reas at tho present writin I think ! will take out and quit.” So much for American politics. RlKI S S A NUKUS. cerned about our financial and com mercial conditions than 1 am about the war with England, or whether the Cubans will lick the Spaniards, or w hether England w ill steal Venezuela. This financial question comes closer home to us all. It gets the creditor and the debtor both on their metal. \Vh'*n things get so the creditor can't collect his money and the debtor can’t hopped about the room. A dog and a goose on one occasion became fast friends, but the goose seems to have made the first advances. If the dog barked the goose would cackle and endeavor to bite any person the supposed the dog to be barking at. She would not roost in the usual way, but ran about the yard with the dog all night, and even when he wentabout pay it, things are in bad shape. Issu- j the neighborhood Hie goose accom- ing bonds isn’t going to help ns, for the ; panied him,runningand Hying in order treasury reserve is now down to $50,-^ to keep pace with him. What is \erj OttO,000, or less, and after it has been re plenished can be brought dow n again to any i>oint the avarice of the dcpletcrs dictate. Rome say the remedy is in bimetallism. A silveritc told me the other day that bimetallism was the cure for the w hole bn: ness, but I re marked to him that England is a cred itor country and we are a debtor coun try and England could bankrupt us. He replied: ‘Then let’; go into bank ruptcy.” Yes, but,” I replied, "all of us don’t want to go in it. All you fel- lows w hose stock in trade is a w ife and ten children and a dog and a blacking brush, you are ready to go into bank ruptcy; but a fellow that has any as sets outside of those you muster in your inventory isn’t quite ready to go in.” Many blame Mr. Cleveland, some curse Carlisle; but a fellow that is obliged to cuss and has some cussing that he ought to dispose of by right strange, however, w hen the dog w as ill the goose would not leave him tor a single moment, so food had to be placed in the kennel for both of them. This affection is supposed to have had its origin in the dog saving the goose from a fox, Another dog became much attached to a eat and showed his affeection in an hour of need. The two animals, after living together lor a few months, were sent away as a present, tied up in a sack. It appears that they did not like their new quarters, for they soon started on the return journey to their old home—a distance of RJ miles. They traveled side by side, and once the dog bravely defended his companion from the- attacks of another of his species. In another ease a dog tried to con sole herself for the loss of her family by adopting a brood of ducklings. When her little ones were taken from HOUSEHOLD ;ZG1 IONS. To deeoratc a gvc.te that is not re quired lor use, piece in it some small pots containing ferns. Collect small fir cones, varnish them and throw around in the grates so the pots shall be hidden. If you possess a co/.y corner with a shelf at the top have a z ne trough made to tit it and till thr with some hardy foliage and flower plants. They will last a long time ai <! add great ly to the beauty of the room. The latest card cases and pocket- books arc made from a leather that is called elephant's h do. It lias rather a rough surface and is of a li.< lit tan color. They are mounted at the cor ners in dull gold, or have a lain gold baud around them, hcadt d i a narrow beading. It is not neeessai green tb ’ # for a cooked 'C g tables as|Mir:igtis tops, pc; toes and be ,s, cut let him turn his cussingmachinery loose ber she w as quite disconsolate until on congress. I have a thousand times more respect for Mr. Cleveland, who de cides what he ought to do and does it, than for a congress that can’t agree upon anything and can't pass anything, even a saloon. Hut I don’t believe there w ill Ik* much fighting done, and I don’t believe there will oe much financial disaster. The wisdom and prudence, the resources and rational views of men who can and will lead in these matters will keep off, at least for years to come, the crash which will bring wreck of fortune and ruin of commerce. If we should get upagenera) row and she fell in with the ducklings. These she tended in the most affectionate manner and exhibited the greatest concern when they naturally took to the water. When they came to land the dog seized them in her mouth and carried them home. Strange to say, when robbed of her family the year be fore, she tool: charge of two cock chickens, which she reared with great attention. When they began to crow she was evidently much annoyed and endeavored to suppress their poise. A eat acted ip a pecuiinr manner on one occasion. A lady kept a bird, which she w as in the habit of releasing to !..ue fr<: !i and I :-a!;: Is. The cold i ay be utilized— . I : us, eold pota in cul^st., in any of them, mixed togeth' i v itbn iVw c.:pc rs and* slice.I olives. The dish, for any' naiad should be rubbed inside with a law onion. Furs will look much improved if they act cleaned with bran la*:tted in the oven. Rub the hot bran well into the carpet, and nt such times the eat treat ed it with great kindness. One morn ing. however, when the bird was thus engaged the eat seized it and jumped on the table with it in her mouth. The owner was naturally much alarmed for the safety of her pet, bqt s>he. soon dis covered the cause. A strange eat had found its way into the room, and as soon as the intruder was driven out her own tabby jumped down from the table and released the bird without haring injured it in the least.—Chicago News. fur with a piece of the fur to remov« brush t i oroughly. have bi omc soil against )he hair m- like new by Apply the bran a k iond time if the fur is bud!c : oiled. Ilarmel, then shake all particles, and Fur collars that <1 from rubbing y Ik* made to look using oot loan on them. WOMEN EVERYWHERE. Miss Helen M. Winslow, of Boston, was the guest of honor at the 1’iofes- sional Woman's Icairuc meeting in New York. She is said to have made one of the brightest impromptu speeches ever heard at the league. Mrs. .John Ward Dunsmore, of Cin cinnati, wife of the artist, hits made quin* a success as a speaker on art topics, a subject vvi'li which she is thor oughly conversant. Mis. Dunsmore, who is an exceedingly graceful und charming woman, was a Boston girl, Miss ( on ini a BufiSiiton. It was tier cx-Mmpress Eugenie of France that I’rinco; s Beatrice's little daughter was mini I. Tho unfortunate empress holds the c hildren of this prin cess very dear to her, and is seen much with them during her residence in the higblaii'lM.and when she stays with her majesty . H!ir probably remembers that had her son been aired to her Prin cess Heati.ee's ch'nlren would have been her own gtdAtlc^uldie^. fight we have got about 10,000,000 of from its cage to pidc up crumbs off the men in the United States out of a job who thirst for martial glory, and there are enough of us peaceably disposed to stay at home and work and keep the country in bread and meat. Wars are costly and cruel, but then they are lessons; and some lessons men learn in no other way. What was the use of our civil w ar? The north could have bought every colored man in the south on the block and moved him back to Africa on the money they spent in licking us, and thereby averted the bloodshed and ruin the war brought on. But some aboli tionists and some pro-slavery men had rather have a licking and give up what they have than to dispose of it profita bly and have a surplus and a.sound hide instead. We are 30 odd years removed from the battlefields of our civil war. and yet the old gray-headed soldier boys of the blue and the gray seem to be the ones who are itching most for a fight and the readiest for the fray. The average hu man being don’t carry a lesson 30 years without forgetting largely all that there was in it. The average fighting fellow lias to Ik* licked or to lick somebody oftener than every 30 years or he will muster himself out of service on that line.. But 1 think a war every 1,000 years would suit me best. Fame and honor of that sort is all in my eye. “I had rather be a home guard private than a brigadier come home to die.” The conquests of common sense found ed on the golden rule are the only con quests that bring a crown and complete triumph. We seem to ohave n surplus of every thing—corn, cotton, wheat, outs, hides, hogs wool, and so on. If u wardidi’t do anything else it would clean up our surplus commodities, and for n few years things would boom on high prices. But .ts long ns we me over stocked in everything except money, times will he eninpnr,itively tight and the wheels ofentniiiert'c will he clogged ARP IN FLORIDA. Having a Good Time Down in the • Land of Floworj. Talks of tlie New Woina'i—Meetlnj; at Which There Was .Vluc:i Discustlou Over the IMcklo im<l oh*#. | But we hud better let well enough alone. | Recorder What \V;»« loshle of Her. Having at one time a small stuffed crocodile in my room, varnished and lodged on my mantel shelf, I was visit ed by OH old woman of the humblest class, about some parish pay that ha I been cut down by the hard-brarted guardians, when her eye rested on the crocodile, and after considering it for some time she broke forth with: “I reckon you got thickey (that) out o’ somebody’s insides.” ‘‘Most assuredly not.” I answered, considerably taken aback at the unex pected question. Then I added: "W hat in the name of wonder makes you think so?” “Beeos." she replied, “sure enough there’s one in me. as worrits me—aw ful! And I wish your honor’d go to the board of tm id jin* und take thickey baste along wi' you and show it to them gardjins and tell ’em I’ve got one just the same rampaging inside of uie. and get ’em to give me upothcr loaf, and tsek on a sixpence to my pay. I’d lik* to keep a pig. your honor, only how can I, when I’ve got n haste like that In my vital* ns consumes more nor halt o’ what I have to ent. There ain't no offals for n porker. Han’t be, nohow.” —Good Words. Horse Talk. ''irsi Horse Do you think tuc horse less earringe will prove a success? Second Ditto—Neigh, neigh!—N. Y. Here we are—basking in tho sunshine and breathing tho balmy air of the gulf coast of Florida. The same clear, glassy waters of the bay salute us with their placid smile. The same surf is lashing the shores of the distant islands and tho same sun drops gently in to its water bath at eventide and lights up tho sky with a halo of fast departing glory. The land may fade, tho evergreens lose something of their charms, but tho eye never tires of flowing str. ams or danc ing waters or the tides that come and go or the beautiful sunsets that illumine the dappled clouds which hover over this western horizon. I have been more or less troubled with a provoking cough ever since the winter began. I havo many times hud to got up from my broken slumbers and make a fire and sit by it and dose my old larynx and lungs and bronchial tubes with expectorants and take a smoke of rabbit tobacco. I have coughed until my eyes ran water, but I am better now and the feeling of depression has left me. The relief that comes so soon at Clear Water reminds me of my dear old friend Pitner, who was languisiiing and pining away with chronic indigestion, i stepped into his store one evening to inquire after his health and In* brig ii t.etied up and said he was bettor, mucb le tter. “I have ■quit tobacco," said he, “and believe that I will get well" “When did you quit?” I asked. “Oh, I quit this morn ing before breakfast,” he replied. 1 traveled down with Dr. Henry Battey, of Rome, who comes to Florida to get rid of rheumat.sin, and In* declared that his pains left him as s*<on as he crossed tho Florida line. '1 he doctors work on their patients at home and prescribe all sorts of things, but when they get sick themselves they ri: i away to Florida. Every doctor in this region moved hero for his health. If 1 was young again 1 would study medicine an 1 eome right hero and establish the b gge.-a sanita rium in tho South, for it is a pitiful fact that neither hotels nor boarding houses give warm welcome to consumpt. ves or invalids who are far gone with wasting disease. I lament that all the afflicted cannot get hero for relief, Sometimes we have a bad day here—a north wind that is never welcome—but they are few and far between. They only serve to mark the contrast and to make us prize all the more the blessed days that give us health and comfort. We have fires night and morning, just enough to paralyze the evening chill and morning dews, but all the day we live out of doors or 1 tnguish in the i verandas that overlook the harbor, the lovely harbor, that is always flocked with sails or rowboats or launches and is adorned with herons and sea gulls and ruminating pelicans. Tho same squirrels and more are shelling nuts in our yard or gamboling among the trees and the quails arc* wnistling their even ing calls in tho chappar.il near by with I “no rude alarms of human foes" to dis turb their serenity. All nature is lonely and neither the rumors of war nor the issuance of bonds excites our apprehension. England can’t find us hero nor get through the passes if she did. Our winter residents have all returned 1 and some new ono* whose houses wore built during the summer have como to occupy them. Tho littlo village is look ing up and the graceful spire of a now Presbyterian church is pointing mortals to tho skies. Col. Geo. W. Scott, tho philanthropist who built tho Agnes Soott institute, gave the lot—of course he did—and tho community gave the building money. It is a littlo gom of a church with stained glass windows, and was occupied last Sabbath for tho first time. I don’t know anything that is a more grateful sign of civilization and good morals than tho spires of the churches, And now lot me express my pleasant surprise at finding an abundance of oranges, beautiful oranges, in our stores for sale. They grew in this vicinity and I have seen some trees riglit in tho town that were loaded with the golden fruit. When we left last May it was not suppo-sod there would ho any until * another year, for many trees were . killed abovo tho trunk and all wore in jured. What a wonderful restorer is nature! How diligently she takes care of her own products. We havo oranges and grape fruit enough for the com munity, but hardly any for shipment. Strawberries are coining daily into mar ket, but at present at too high a price for men and boys to eat. Only tho women and girl children are allowed to feast upon this angel food. Let the old men chew their tobacco and tho boys smoko their cigarettes, if they will, and claim no right to ladies’ food or lassies' lips. Six hundred millions annually for whisky and beer and $180,000,000 for tobacco, all with a sign oyer the door "for man only," is enough for the lords of creation. i heso women are an everlasting won der to me. There is no teliing what they can do when they get their heads set that way. They build most all the Churches and keep up the Sunday schools and missionary meetings. They drain our pockets r* small change just as easy. They get smarter and smarter every generation. I see that Miss Sonya Konalevsky is now regarded as the greatest mathematician in tho world. Mrs. Mary Somerville, not long since dead, was in her day the greatest and at tb« same time was an excellent wife and a busy, loving mother. This is what Mr. Franklin, the learm d profes sor of mathematics in the Johns Hop- kina university, says about thorn. Ver ily the new worn* 11 ! i y. they i <m iMuly^J^PBlHwoman’s club in our town and no man need apply. 1 ventured to eavesdrop them when they org;iinz'*d. For the first half hour they had talk about their families und the babies that wero cutting teeth, and how the children wero getting on at school and who was sick in the town and what disease Mrs. Brown died of, whether it was heart failure or neural gia of tho stomach, and what Dr. A. said about it, and Dr. B. said, etc., and then the exposition came in for discus sion, hut in duo time Mrs. A. was called to the chair and Miss M. requested to act as secretary. Tlie times and places for meeting were discussed, but not de cided—no two could agree. Mrs. B. suggested that whoever it was held tho hostess should servo some simple re freshments. For a half hour it was discussed vigorously what they should bo. Three kinds were at last agreed on. Sandwiches and salad and either tea or coffee or chocolate. One lady moved to add olives. Another said pickles,, as olives were too expensive. The club seemed to bo divided and tangled up on this question, but the olive woman stood her ground manfully, or .rather womanfully. After some fifteen min utes a critical member moved tho pre vious question. The president timidly asked what that was. Mrs. D. said, “Mistress President, I rise to a point of order. ” “That’s right,” said tho president; “ladies, I hope you will keep order.” “Tho previous question,” said the olive lady, “is whether wo shall have olives or pickles, and I do hope wo will havo olives—pickles are so common and tacky. There is something literary and aristocratic about olives.” “I move to amend,” said the critic, “by adding that those who want olives should eat thorn at home before they como to tho club.” “I rise to another poiat of order,’’said Mrs. D. “Keep order, ladies,” said tho presi dent. “Tho question is olives or i icldes—is . the club ready for the quosth a?” “Ready;” said tho critic. The amiable secretary rcto forward and said, “Mistress Presidoi t. I rise to a question of privilege—how much of all this shall I put down?” “None," said tho critic. Miss S. said, “Mistress ’resident, I move to amend the previou; question.” “You are outof order,” said tho critic. “Keep order, ladies,” said the presi dent. “Olives or pickles?” said the olive woman. “I move to lay the olives and pickles on the table,” said Mrs. C. t i “I second the motion,” said Mrs. D. Our two hours are nearly out and we have done nothing but wrangle over olives and pickles." ‘The question was put and carried and the club adjourned because Mistress President said she had to go home to her baby. But this first meeting was only the skirmish that precedes tho battle. At the next the club settled down to busi ness. The president borrowed Cush ing's manual of parliamentary law and , studied it and brought order out of dis order. Committees wore appointed and writers and readers and reciters assigned to subjects and duties and now they are making progress. By and by they will bo writing for the papers and magazines. This reminds me that tho last Cen tury Magazine has devoted many pages to reminiscenses of Abraham Lincoln, but bus omitted the best thing that i have ever seen on honest old Abo. It is too good to bo lost. My friend Cap tain Leathers, of Louisville, Ivy., found it hid away in tlie dTtli volume and tho .’tilth page of the war records that con gress had published and distributed to a few favored persons. On tho 14th of June, 1SG3, not long after the battle of Chanccllorsville, Lin coln telegraphed General Joe Hooker, “\\ here is Leo’s army?” Hooker re plied as follows: "1 redericksburg, Va.—From the best informa tion I can obtain the bead of Lee’s army is at Marttnsburg. There Is also quite a force in my from on the plank road near Fredericksburg.” To which Lincoln replied: ‘•Washington, .June 11, l**;(ieneral Booker —So far as can learn here the enemy lias Milroy surrounded at W tnehester and Tyler at Martinsburg. If the head of Lee’s army is at Martinshurg and the tall is on the plank road near Fredericksburg, three hundred miles away, the animal must be pretty slim somewhere. Can’t you break him.’ a. Lincoln.’’ My friend. Colonel Frazer, of Mem phis, who winters here, has a small room full of those war records and I’m going to peruse thorn. There aro over 100 volumes now, and they are not half done printing.—Bill Arp, in Atlanta Constitution. CURIOUS FACTS. Tbe crocodile’s egg is about the sia* of that of the goose. The stem side of the orange is not usually so sweet and juicy as the other half. It is said that striiiimcrers rarely, if ever, show any iiii|>cdient of speech when speaking in whispers. In Japan the largest private bank baa been in business for more than three centuries, and has over .>0 branches. An antarctic ioels rg has been seen, that was L’0 miles wide, 40 miles in length and 400 feet in height. A curious fact has been noted by.i nretic travelers—«cow, when at a very, low temperature, ait. orbs moisture aa*P dries garments. , Dijon, France, has a poplar tree witto a record that can he traced to 722. It ; is 122 feet high an 1 15 foct in circuan- 1 ference at tho base. A doctor claims that a drop of castor oil in tin* eye to remove a foreign body* is as efficacious and more often man*' age&ble titan the frequently recow^ mended liaxsenrt. J