The ledger. [volume] (Gaffney City, S.C.) 1896-1907, January 30, 1896, Image 3
THE WEEKLY LEDGER; G4FENEY, S. C., JANUARY 30, 1896.
RUFUS SANDERS.
Some Short Stories From
Forks of the Greek.
the
•n« rialn 01,1 1 ' Vllh I’lfliity of Sons*.
Bad •" **l>t —llnl» Brilt#n-
bani'H I iii>> Olrl and tli® l>e®r Creak
plantation—Tlie ^loat ttreenesl
Alau—And So t'ortli.
(Copyright, isoe.)
You hoar some people say that it
naturally don’t run in the human family
for a woman to have any business sense.
But I have mixed around amongst the
Women folks considerable in my day
■4*ry
and time, and
bless gracious I
have come to the
conclusion that
they havo got
more sense—and
more different
sorts of it—than
the best and
smartest of men.
What makes mo
say what 1 do?
Well, when I
took my seat and sH down with pen in
hand, as it were, to give out a few scat-
terin facts concernin everyday life in
the woods and hills, it come to my mind
about how the old lady Singleton belt
her own with the Hrittonham boys and
win the fight bauds down.
\
Bad Medicine in Bifir
It come to p iss along in the Christmas
and New Year times last year that Hob
Brittenham and Miss Net Singleton
went and got married. Now the Brit-
tenham boys are famous in this country
for coverin all the ground and travellin
all the gaits. Everything fr un a scrub
horse race to a free-for-all fight goes
with them. They are all bad medicine
and tremendius big doses of it.
It had only been three weeks to the
day since Bob and Miss Net got married
when the Brittenham boys went to a
horse race somewheres down in the Flat
Woods and got into a free and bloody
fight with the Tomlinsons, which the
Tomlinson boys they was also hot stuff
and a whole pa-'Sle of it.
That was one horse race which I
didn’t go and see, whereas I can’t give
•11 the fac's and v\h> refores in regards
to the terrible scrape between the Brit-
tenbams and the Tomlinsons. Hut at
any rates, it seems like when the firin
ceased and the smoke cleared away
three of the Tomlinson boys had got
bad wounded and Hob Brittenham was
dead. ,
In them days it likewise also come to
pass that the finest plantation on Deer
Creek belonged to Hob Brittenham in j
his own full name, and accordin to the
will he had made before ho married the
plantation would belong to his wife
when he was dead and gone, so long as
she lived, and then fall to their chil- ]
dren when she died.
And by gatlins Hob Brittenham hadn’t
been dead ten days is-fore the pther.
Brittenham 1 oys p it in to buy Bob’s
widder off and git their fingers on that
fine plantation. They lowed undbr the
will she couldn’t claim nothin but her
lifetime interest, and since Boh didn’t
leave no children tho land would finally
at last revert bark to his brothers any
how. They wanted to buy her out and
pay her what was r.ght and proper for
her lifetime interest in tho plantation.
In tho maintime Miss Net, Bob’s
widder, had went back to live with her
mother, and I k no wed good and well
that when the game come down to a
pinch it would lay between the Britten
ham hoys on one side and tho old lady
Singleton on the other. There was
some powerful fine pints in the game,
and whilst it was none of my business I
couldn't h‘ lp from watchin tho ‘•docu
ments” dost and constant.
One Woman's Ku-Iiicsh Sense.
“It is a monstrous pritty game if the
cards will but only run right,” says I to
mother one night if ter supper, “and
there Is plenty of nerve on both sides.
But as for me, 1 will give odds of three
to one and bet on the old lady Singleton.
If tho Brittenham hoys didn’t have to
buck agin nobody on the other sjdo but
Bob’s widder they maybe mougnt beat
her out. Miss Net is young in regards
to the ways of this world anyhow, and
besides that her heart is broke now on
account of poor Bob's death.
“But the old lady Singleton she ain’t
gone nowheres, and if I recollect right
She put off her wi nder’s weeds more
than twenty years ago. When it comes
to a strong and knotty business pint she
has got more s nse than most any man
I have ever saw, and she can see further
on ahead into the dim and d slant future
than any other old lady in the round
created world. A cord in to my figura
tion, for onest the Brittenham boys
have met their match. Let tho game
go bravely on. Wo can wait and watch
and see.”
That was in tho Christmas and New
Year times last year, and 1 didn’t know
for certain how the Brittenham boys
had come out of the gam" till one day
last week. Hut 1 l o n got some news
from over there in the hill country
which goes to show that they got beat
at every p>nt, whilst the old lady Sin
gleton win the game hands down.
From what the hill country people
say, it would seem like tho old lady
soon got so she wouldn't let Bob's wid
der talk to the Brittenham boys about
that plantation on Deer Creek. When
they come to see their brother’s widder
the old lady she would go out and do
the taikin and keep Miss Net busy in
the kitchen. As time went on the Brit
tenham hoys got restless and mad and
threatened to go to law with the case.
But the old lady told 'em they could
pop their whips and pitch in. You havo
heard people say that time is a mighty
good lawyer, and old Mises Singleton
she was playing for tune.
It uvw comes to pass that there is a
littlo stranger over at tho Singleton
place. It was two or three weeks bo-
foro Christmas when she opened her
baby blue eyes on the wonders of this
world. In general appe rments she Is
the very spitten image of poor Bob
Brittonham, and they havo named her
Bob for him. Naturally of course old
Mises Singleton and Miss Net. they think
the onlyest baby in tho whole diseov-
red country is rigut there at their
house.
And the other Brittenham hoys, where
are they? They are still i rui^m around
in the settlen: nt, but they don’t own a
blessed h.t more land down on Deer
Creek than they did at this time last
year
And the old lady Singleton, where is
she? She is riglit over tliere n t he hill
country tendin to her own business and
takin care of tho widder and the baby.
And that fine plantation down on
Deer Creek, what about that? Well, it
belonged to Bob Brittenham when ho
was killed. It now belongs to Bob’s
widder, Miss Net, so long as she mought
live. After that it will belong to their
babv girl, little Bob, henceforth and
forever,
•‘Tho siime llurn I'cllsr.’
In my day and time 1 havo met up
with a right smart sprinkle of green
people. But by long odds the most
greenest man 1 have ever saw was a
long, tall, ganglin rooster that come
into the settlement onest from some
wheres down in the riv r country.
» The stranger put up for the night at
the Pickens place, which the Pick uses
they was all powerful polite and proper
people. The next mornin when tho
stranger got up and come out to break
fast old man Pickens said te him, says
he, “good mornin, sir.”
And the old lady then up and said to
him. says she, “go. d mornin, sir.”
Then one of tho girls spoke up and
likewise also says, “good mornin, sir.”
In the main time the stranger hadn’t
said nothin and looked like lie didn’t
know what they meant. But by this
time I reckon he come lo the conclusion
that som ‘body would have to explain.
“Why!” says he, “I am the same durn
feller that, staid her * last night!”
rou
a
WHAT TO FIGHT.
Sam Jon«a on 'Waraand Rumors
of Wars."
The Fliinnclal tjnrntlon Also Come* !■—
I.eietoiifl Taught l>y the Ilattlelleld—
r»trlotlniii That Clianiplon* the
Kl«lit« ef the lloiae.
If we have plenty of breatl and meat,
clothes und shelter, what is the use in
failing out and fighting? Better hod
we be like Saint Puul when he said: “i
hnve learned in whatsoever state I am
therewith to be content,” Discontent
is the ruin of a man ora nation. A di»-
jontented spirit brings on war and de
vastation. Imaginary insults, and then
injured innocence, and then comes the
declaration that we will die for our
honor. A man or a nation don’t got
honor by dying for it, and they can’t
keep it by dying for it. Honor comes
tCOPYRIGHT, JSW ]
They are. lighting down in Culm;
and I am for the bottom dog every time.
1 ho|K* the Cubans will lick the crowd to him and them of whom it may be
that is trying to keep them in subjec- said: “Well done, thou good and faith-
tion. And then Oermauy and Great ful servant. Thou hast been faithful
Britain are getting their horns in the aver a few things. I will make thee
mud and pawing dirt, and old Uncle ruler over many things.”
Sam is shaking his fist at somebody. Somehow or other my patriotism, if
Turkey is gobbling a little, and Russia
is mewing like a cat, and Canada is hiss
ing at the stars and stripes in a pub
lic theater, et cetera. It seems that the
whole business wants to tight, and they
may get up a sort of ,i general fracas.
Some one has said the way to keep
down civil war is to keep up a racket
and have an occasional war with a
foreign country. As long as men are
selfish and proud and mean there are
going to be rows and fusses. Great
Britain is proud and dogmatic and stub
born, and will tote off anything she
can put in her pocket. But she can’t
put America in her pocket with Ven
ezuela, and I doubt if she tries to put
Venezuela in her pocket. Talk about
our being of one blood, and all that
sort of thing. Don’t brothers fight?
Haven’t brothers murdered each other?
They say a family row is the worst
sort of a row.
Hut while many in this country and
perhaps in other countries are talking
about wars and the Monroe doctrine,
etc., our financiers seem to be looking
after their pockets. It is said that this
country will not go to war with Great placed the plate on the floor and in re-
Britain, for our financiers will not let s P°nsc to a loud whistle the four ap-
us. It is avarice that got up the neared and partook of their food with-
tiouble; and they sav the hair of the 3ut interfering with aach other. After
dog is good for a bite, maybe avarice dinner the three animals lay down to-
enn keep it down. I am much more con- P ether before the fire, and the raven
I have any, is the patriotism that stands
up for and champions the rights of
women and children and of the home.
My patriotism has all it can do in
denouncing the evils that blight home
and crush the lives of women and
children. The saloons, the gambling
hells, the bawdy houses, the race
tracks, the dishonest deeds and bad
examples of men furnish targets for
all of my guns, and amid the wants
and needs 'of women ami children I
find the task of ministering to them
greater than I can perform.
Let’s not fight England. Let’s fight
the devil and wickedness, and gambling
bells and shamely houses and every
thing that ever wrung a tear from a
mother’s eye or broke a good wife’s
heart. Sam P. Jones.
ANIMALS* QUEER FREAKS.
Story of a Dog, Raven, Cat and Rat All
Eating Together.
A traveler tells that he once saw a
fine mastiff, a large rat, a raven and an
Angora cat all dine together from the
same plate of soup. Their owner
'ijii*re was one man so green till you
could mighty nigh scrape it off with a
splinter, and he couldn’t see no use .n
people say in good mornin to the same
durn fi ller" that bad been there all
night.
A Serious Itirntt.
From all 1 can hear, the Democratic
party is now si rously threatened with
Julo Nabors. .Itile is’ giv ng it out
through tic si'tth'i.'ient that ho is goin
to quit the Third party and come on
back home to the old lick log.
“I have Ir on gallop.n#with the Third
party from the first, jump," said ,Iule in
tellin th«* hoys about it over at the
Cross Roads the other day. “Accordin
to what the leaders tell me, we have
whipped the ti.-ht in every election by
tremendius big majorities, hut the other
fellows do the countin and beat us out
of the offices. So I have come to tho
conclusion that any party which can't
taxe a big majority and b at a measly
littlo minority n«-v r w 11 stack up any
thing to speak of. VV , reas at tho
present writin I think ! will take out
and quit.”
So much for American politics.
RlKI S S A NUKUS.
cerned about our financial and com
mercial conditions than 1 am about the
war with England, or whether the
Cubans will lick the Spaniards, or
w hether England w ill steal Venezuela.
This financial question comes closer
home to us all. It gets the creditor
and the debtor both on their metal.
\Vh'*n things get so the creditor can't
collect his money and the debtor can’t
hopped about the room.
A dog and a goose on one occasion
became fast friends, but the goose
seems to have made the first advances.
If the dog barked the goose would
cackle and endeavor to bite any person
the supposed the dog to be barking at.
She would not roost in the usual way,
but ran about the yard with the dog
all night, and even when he wentabout
pay it, things are in bad shape. Issu- j the neighborhood Hie goose accom-
ing bonds isn’t going to help ns, for the ; panied him,runningand Hying in order
treasury reserve is now down to $50,-^ to keep pace with him. What is \erj
OttO,000, or less, and after it has been re
plenished can be brought dow n again
to any i>oint the avarice of the dcpletcrs
dictate. Rome say the remedy is in
bimetallism. A silveritc told me the
other day that bimetallism was the
cure for the w hole bn: ness, but I re
marked to him that England is a cred
itor country and we are a debtor coun
try and England could bankrupt us.
He replied: ‘Then let’; go into bank
ruptcy.” Yes, but,” I replied, "all of
us don’t want to go in it. All you fel-
lows w hose stock in trade is a w ife and
ten children and a dog and a blacking
brush, you are ready to go into bank
ruptcy; but a fellow that has any as
sets outside of those you muster in
your inventory isn’t quite ready to go
in.” Many blame Mr. Cleveland, some
curse Carlisle; but a fellow that is
obliged to cuss and has some cussing
that he ought to dispose of by right
strange, however, w hen the dog w as ill
the goose would not leave him tor a
single moment, so food had to be placed
in the kennel for both of them. This
affection is supposed to have had its
origin in the dog saving the goose
from a fox,
Another dog became much attached
to a eat and showed his affeection in an
hour of need. The two animals, after
living together lor a few months, were
sent away as a present, tied up in a
sack. It appears that they did not
like their new quarters, for they soon
started on the return journey to their
old home—a distance of RJ miles. They
traveled side by side, and once the dog
bravely defended his companion from
the- attacks of another of his species.
In another ease a dog tried to con
sole herself for the loss of her family
by adopting a brood of ducklings.
When her little ones were taken from
HOUSEHOLD
;ZG1 IONS.
To deeoratc a gvc.te that is not re
quired lor use, piece in it some small
pots containing ferns. Collect small fir
cones, varnish them and throw around
in the grates so the pots shall be hidden.
If you possess a co/.y corner with a
shelf at the top have a z ne trough made
to tit it and till thr with some hardy
foliage and flower plants. They will
last a long time ai <! add great ly to the
beauty of the room.
The latest card cases and pocket-
books arc made from a leather that is
called elephant's h do. It lias rather
a rough surface and is of a li.< lit tan
color. They are mounted at the cor
ners in dull gold, or have a lain gold
baud around them, hcadt d i a narrow
beading.
It is not neeessai
green tb ’ # for a
cooked 'C g tables
as|Mir:igtis tops, pc;
toes and be ,s, cut
let him turn his cussingmachinery loose ber she w as quite disconsolate until
on congress. I have a thousand times
more respect for Mr. Cleveland, who de
cides what he ought to do and does it,
than for a congress that can’t agree
upon anything and can't pass anything,
even a saloon.
Hut I don’t believe there w ill Ik* much
fighting done, and I don’t believe there
will oe much financial disaster. The
wisdom and prudence, the resources
and rational views of men who can and
will lead in these matters will keep off,
at least for years to come, the crash
which will bring wreck of fortune
and ruin of commerce.
If we should get upagenera) row and
she fell in with the ducklings. These
she tended in the most affectionate
manner and exhibited the greatest
concern when they naturally took to
the water. When they came to land
the dog seized them in her mouth and
carried them home. Strange to say,
when robbed of her family the year be
fore, she tool: charge of two cock
chickens, which she reared with great
attention. When they began to crow
she was evidently much annoyed and
endeavored to suppress their poise.
A eat acted ip a pecuiinr manner on
one occasion. A lady kept a bird,
which she w as in the habit of releasing
to !..ue fr<: !i and
I :-a!;: Is. The cold
i ay be utilized—
. I : us, eold pota
in cul^st., in any of
them, mixed togeth' i v itbn iVw c.:pc rs
and* slice.I olives. The dish, for any'
naiad should be rubbed inside with a
law onion.
Furs will look much improved if they
act cleaned with bran la*:tted in the
oven. Rub the hot bran well into the
carpet, and nt such times the eat treat
ed it with great kindness. One morn
ing. however, when the bird was thus
engaged the eat seized it and jumped
on the table with it in her mouth. The
owner was naturally much alarmed for
the safety of her pet, bqt s>he. soon dis
covered the cause. A strange eat had
found its way into the room, and as
soon as the intruder was driven out
her own tabby jumped down from the
table and released the bird without
haring injured it in the least.—Chicago
News.
fur with a piece of
the fur to remov«
brush t i oroughly.
have bi omc soil
against )he hair m-
like new by
Apply the bran a k iond time if the fur
is bud!c : oiled.
Ilarmel, then shake
all particles, and
Fur collars that
<1 from rubbing
y Ik* made to look
using oot loan on them.
WOMEN EVERYWHERE.
Miss Helen M. Winslow, of Boston,
was the guest of honor at the 1’iofes-
sional Woman's Icairuc meeting in New
York. She is said to have made one of
the brightest impromptu speeches ever
heard at the league.
Mrs. .John Ward Dunsmore, of Cin
cinnati, wife of the artist, hits made
quin* a success as a speaker on art
topics, a subject vvi'li which she is thor
oughly conversant. Mis. Dunsmore,
who is an exceedingly graceful und
charming woman, was a Boston girl,
Miss ( on ini a BufiSiiton.
It was tier cx-Mmpress Eugenie of
France that I’rinco; s Beatrice's little
daughter was mini I. Tho unfortunate
empress holds the c hildren of this prin
cess very dear to her, and is seen much
with them during her residence in the
higblaii'lM.and when she stays with her
majesty . H!ir probably remembers that
had her son been aired to her Prin
cess Heati.ee's ch'nlren would have
been her own gtdAtlc^uldie^.
fight we have got about 10,000,000 of from its cage to pidc up crumbs off the
men in the United States out of a job
who thirst for martial glory, and there
are enough of us peaceably disposed to
stay at home and work and keep the
country in bread and meat. Wars are
costly and cruel, but then they are
lessons; and some lessons men learn in
no other way. What was the use of our
civil w ar? The north could have bought
every colored man in the south on the
block and moved him back to Africa on
the money they spent in licking us, and
thereby averted the bloodshed and ruin
the war brought on. But some aboli
tionists and some pro-slavery men had
rather have a licking and give up what
they have than to dispose of it profita
bly and have a surplus and a.sound hide
instead.
We are 30 odd years removed from the
battlefields of our civil war. and yet
the old gray-headed soldier boys of the
blue and the gray seem to be the ones
who are itching most for a fight and the
readiest for the fray. The average hu
man being don’t carry a lesson 30 years
without forgetting largely all that there
was in it. The average fighting fellow
lias to Ik* licked or to lick somebody
oftener than every 30 years or he will
muster himself out of service on that
line.. But 1 think a war every 1,000
years would suit me best. Fame and
honor of that sort is all in my eye. “I
had rather be a home guard private
than a brigadier come home to die.”
The conquests of common sense found
ed on the golden rule are the only con
quests that bring a crown and complete
triumph.
We seem to ohave n surplus of every
thing—corn, cotton, wheat, outs, hides,
hogs wool, and so on. If u wardidi’t
do anything else it would clean up our
surplus commodities, and for n few
years things would boom on high
prices. But .ts long ns we me over
stocked in everything except money,
times will he eninpnr,itively tight and
the wheels ofentniiiert'c will he clogged
ARP IN FLORIDA.
Having a Good Time Down in the
• Land of Floworj.
Talks of tlie New Woina'i—Meetlnj; at
Which There Was .Vluc:i Discustlou
Over the IMcklo im<l oh*#.
| But we hud better let well enough alone. | Recorder
What \V;»« loshle of Her.
Having at one time a small stuffed
crocodile in my room, varnished and
lodged on my mantel shelf, I was visit
ed by OH old woman of the humblest
class, about some parish pay that ha I
been cut down by the hard-brarted
guardians, when her eye rested on the
crocodile, and after considering it for
some time she broke forth with: “I
reckon you got thickey (that) out o’
somebody’s insides.”
‘‘Most assuredly not.” I answered,
considerably taken aback at the unex
pected question. Then I added: "W hat
in the name of wonder makes you think
so?”
“Beeos." she replied, “sure enough
there’s one in me. as worrits me—aw
ful! And I wish your honor’d go to
the board of tm id jin* und take thickey
baste along wi' you and show it to them
gardjins and tell ’em I’ve got one just
the same rampaging inside of uie. and
get ’em to give me upothcr loaf, and
tsek on a sixpence to my pay. I’d lik*
to keep a pig. your honor, only how
can I, when I’ve got n haste like that
In my vital* ns consumes more nor halt
o’ what I have to ent. There ain't no
offals for n porker. Han’t be, nohow.”
—Good Words.
Horse Talk.
''irsi Horse Do you think tuc horse
less earringe will prove a success?
Second Ditto—Neigh, neigh!—N. Y.
Here we are—basking in tho sunshine
and breathing tho balmy air of the gulf
coast of Florida. The same clear, glassy
waters of the bay salute us with their
placid smile. The same surf is lashing
the shores of the distant islands and tho
same sun drops gently in to its water
bath at eventide and lights up tho sky
with a halo of fast departing glory. The
land may fade, tho evergreens lose
something of their charms, but tho eye
never tires of flowing str. ams or danc
ing waters or the tides that come and go
or the beautiful sunsets that illumine
the dappled clouds which hover over
this western horizon. I have been more
or less troubled with a provoking cough
ever since the winter began. I havo
many times hud to got up from my
broken slumbers and make a fire and sit
by it and dose my old larynx and lungs
and bronchial tubes with expectorants
and take a smoke of rabbit tobacco. I
have coughed until my eyes ran water,
but I am better now and the feeling of
depression has left me. The relief that
comes so soon at Clear Water reminds
me of my dear old friend Pitner, who
was languisiiing and pining away with
chronic indigestion, i stepped into his
store one evening to inquire after his
health and In* brig ii t.etied up and said
he was bettor, mucb le tter. “I have
■quit tobacco," said he, “and believe
that I will get well" “When did you
quit?” I asked. “Oh, I quit this morn
ing before breakfast,” he replied. 1
traveled down with Dr. Henry Battey,
of Rome, who comes to Florida to get
rid of rheumat.sin, and In* declared that
his pains left him as s*<on as he crossed
tho Florida line. '1 he doctors work on
their patients at home and prescribe all
sorts of things, but when they get sick
themselves they ri: i away to Florida.
Every doctor in this region moved hero
for his health. If 1 was young again 1
would study medicine an 1 eome right
hero and establish the b gge.-a sanita
rium in tho South, for it is a pitiful fact
that neither hotels nor boarding houses
give warm welcome to consumpt. ves or
invalids who are far gone with wasting
disease. I lament that all the afflicted
cannot get hero for relief,
Sometimes we have a bad day here—a
north wind that is never welcome—but
they are few and far between. They
only serve to mark the contrast and to
make us prize all the more the blessed
days that give us health and comfort.
We have fires night and morning, just
enough to paralyze the evening chill
and morning dews, but all the day we
live out of doors or 1 tnguish in the
i verandas that overlook the harbor, the
lovely harbor, that is always flocked
with sails or rowboats or launches and
is adorned with herons and sea gulls
and ruminating pelicans. Tho same
squirrels and more are shelling nuts in
our yard or gamboling among the trees
and the quails arc* wnistling their even
ing calls in tho chappar.il near by with
I “no rude alarms of human foes" to dis
turb their serenity.
All nature is lonely and neither the
rumors of war nor the issuance of bonds
excites our apprehension. England
can’t find us hero nor get through the
passes if she did.
Our winter residents have all returned
1 and some new ono* whose houses wore
built during the summer have como to
occupy them. Tho littlo village is look
ing up and the graceful spire of a now
Presbyterian church is pointing mortals
to tho skies. Col. Geo. W. Scott, tho
philanthropist who built tho Agnes
Soott institute, gave the lot—of course
he did—and tho community gave the
building money. It is a littlo gom of a
church with stained glass windows, and
was occupied last Sabbath for tho first
time. I don’t know anything that is a
more grateful sign of civilization and
good morals than tho spires of the
churches,
And now lot me express my pleasant
surprise at finding an abundance of
oranges, beautiful oranges, in our stores
for sale. They grew in this vicinity
and I have seen some trees riglit in tho
town that were loaded with the golden
fruit. When we left last May it was
not suppo-sod there would ho any until
* another year, for many trees were
. killed abovo tho trunk and all wore in
jured. What a wonderful restorer is
nature! How diligently she takes care
of her own products. We havo oranges
and grape fruit enough for the com
munity, but hardly any for shipment.
Strawberries are coining daily into mar
ket, but at present at too high a price
for men and boys to eat. Only tho
women and girl children are allowed to
feast upon this angel food. Let the old
men chew their tobacco and tho boys
smoko their cigarettes, if they will, and
claim no right to ladies’ food or lassies'
lips. Six hundred millions annually
for whisky and beer and $180,000,000 for
tobacco, all with a sign oyer the door
"for man only," is enough for the lords
of creation.
i heso women are an everlasting won
der to me. There is no teliing what
they can do when they get their heads
set that way. They build most all the
Churches and keep up the Sunday
schools and missionary meetings. They
drain our pockets r* small change just
as easy. They get smarter and smarter
every generation. I see that Miss
Sonya Konalevsky is now regarded as
the greatest mathematician in tho world.
Mrs. Mary Somerville, not long since
dead, was in her day the greatest and at
tb« same time was an excellent wife
and a busy, loving mother. This is
what Mr. Franklin, the learm d profes
sor of mathematics in the Johns Hop-
kina university, says about thorn. Ver
ily the new worn*
11 ! i y.
they i <m iMuly^J^PBlHwoman’s
club in our town and no man need apply.
1 ventured to eavesdrop them when
they org;iinz'*d. For the first half hour
they had talk about their families
und the babies that wero cutting teeth,
and how the children wero getting on at
school and who was sick in the town
and what disease Mrs. Brown died of,
whether it was heart failure or neural
gia of tho stomach, and what Dr. A.
said about it, and Dr. B. said, etc., and
then the exposition came in for discus
sion, hut in duo time Mrs. A. was called
to the chair and Miss M. requested to
act as secretary. Tlie times and places
for meeting were discussed, but not de
cided—no two could agree. Mrs. B.
suggested that whoever it was held tho
hostess should servo some simple re
freshments. For a half hour it was
discussed vigorously what they should
bo. Three kinds were at last agreed on.
Sandwiches and salad and either tea or
coffee or chocolate. One lady moved to
add olives. Another said pickles,, as
olives were too expensive. The club
seemed to bo divided and tangled up on
this question, but the olive woman
stood her ground manfully, or .rather
womanfully. After some fifteen min
utes a critical member moved tho pre
vious question. The president timidly
asked what that was. Mrs. D. said,
“Mistress President, I rise to a point of
order. ”
“That’s right,” said tho president;
“ladies, I hope you will keep order.”
“Tho previous question,” said the
olive lady, “is whether wo shall have
olives or pickles, and I do hope wo will
havo olives—pickles are so common and
tacky. There is something literary and
aristocratic about olives.”
“I move to amend,” said the critic,
“by adding that those who want olives
should eat thorn at home before they
como to tho club.”
“I rise to another poiat of order,’’said
Mrs. D.
“Keep order, ladies,” said tho presi
dent.
“Tho question is olives or i icldes—is
. the club ready for the quosth a?”
“Ready;” said tho critic.
The amiable secretary rcto forward
and said, “Mistress Presidoi t. I rise to
a question of privilege—how much of
all this shall I put down?”
“None," said tho critic.
Miss S. said, “Mistress ’resident, I
move to amend the previou; question.”
“You are outof order,” said tho critic.
“Keep order, ladies,” said the presi
dent.
“Olives or pickles?” said the olive
woman.
“I move to lay the olives and pickles
on the table,” said Mrs. C. t
i “I second the motion,” said Mrs. D.
Our two hours are nearly out and we
have done nothing but wrangle over
olives and pickles."
‘The question was put and carried and
the club adjourned because Mistress
President said she had to go home to
her baby.
But this first meeting was only the
skirmish that precedes tho battle. At
the next the club settled down to busi
ness. The president borrowed Cush
ing's manual of parliamentary law and
, studied it and brought order out of dis
order. Committees wore appointed and
writers and readers and reciters assigned
to subjects and duties and now they are
making progress.
By and by they will bo writing for
the papers and magazines.
This reminds me that tho last Cen
tury Magazine has devoted many pages
to reminiscenses of Abraham Lincoln,
but bus omitted the best thing that i
have ever seen on honest old Abo. It
is too good to bo lost. My friend Cap
tain Leathers, of Louisville, Ivy., found
it hid away in tlie dTtli volume and tho
.’tilth page of the war records that con
gress had published and distributed to
a few favored persons.
On tho 14th of June, 1SG3, not long
after the battle of Chanccllorsville, Lin
coln telegraphed General Joe Hooker,
“\\ here is Leo’s army?” Hooker re
plied as follows:
"1 redericksburg, Va.—From the best informa
tion I can obtain the bead of Lee’s army is at
Marttnsburg. There Is also quite a force in my
from on the plank road near Fredericksburg.”
To which Lincoln replied:
‘•Washington, .June 11, l**;(ieneral Booker
—So far as can learn here the enemy lias
Milroy surrounded at W tnehester and Tyler at
Martinsburg. If the head of Lee’s army is at
Martinshurg and the tall is on the plank road
near Fredericksburg, three hundred miles away,
the animal must be pretty slim somewhere.
Can’t you break him.’ a. Lincoln.’’
My friend. Colonel Frazer, of Mem
phis, who winters here, has a small
room full of those war records and I’m
going to peruse thorn. There aro over
100 volumes now, and they are not half
done printing.—Bill Arp, in Atlanta
Constitution.
CURIOUS FACTS.
Tbe crocodile’s egg is about the sia*
of that of the goose.
The stem side of the orange is not
usually so sweet and juicy as the other
half.
It is said that striiiimcrers rarely, if
ever, show any iiii|>cdient of speech
when speaking in whispers.
In Japan the largest private bank baa
been in business for more than three
centuries, and has over .>0 branches.
An antarctic ioels rg has been seen,
that was L’0 miles wide, 40 miles in
length and 400 feet in height.
A curious fact has been noted by.i
nretic travelers—«cow, when at a very,
low temperature, ait. orbs moisture aa*P
dries garments. ,
Dijon, France, has a poplar tree witto
a record that can he traced to 722. It ;
is 122 feet high an 1 15 foct in circuan- 1
ference at tho base.
A doctor claims that a drop of castor
oil in tin* eye to remove a foreign body*
is as efficacious and more often man*'
age&ble titan the frequently recow^
mended liaxsenrt. J