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11 CAMDEN JOURNAL. AN INDEPENDENT FAMILY PAPER, PUBLISHED BY JOHN KERSHAW. SUBSCRIPTION RATES One year, in advance $3 00 Six months 1 50 Three .months...... ' 75 ffifOrranflient Advertisements must bo paid for in advance. vot. XXXI. CAMDEN. S. O., THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 33, 1871. XVO. XII ' '?> i 31iscellany. From the South. COTTONThe campaign which closed on the 1st of September his been one of unusual interest *o the planter, the spinner and the dealer and commission merchant. Its opening coincided with events of a political nature fraught With ooosequenccs to the spinning interests of the continent impossible to foresee. Sharp *nd decisive as the war proved to be, serious inisgivings in this respect, however, rapidly Vanished and cotton was again brought face to face with its purely commercial bearings, &ud as we proceeded it became manifest that theconsuinption had assumed such proport ions in othe* partly distant localities that even an American crop of ante-bellum proportions Would not repress the intrinsic buoyancy of the staple as long as the rate of about 1)2,OOU bales per week actual takings by the com^millc /lnottlntr mir Rncein nr I V1UCU JLiUlU^/VUll 1141 no ^IVUI iiiQ VMW v. the Black Sea and Barcelona) coukl be maintained, aided by a steady increase of con- ( sumption by our domestic spinners. The ] fact is that cotton has largely superseded flax -and silk in many ways, as we shall have ocanion to fully explain in future reviews of ( the precious fifyre, and that at the comparatively low figures then ruling, China and the East found it more profitable to draw plain *nd heavy fabrics from England, and to a limited extent they have also done so from our own Eastern manufacturing centres. If, j therefore, the uorth of France and the Ger- f man mills on the Rhine and in Westphalia t were compelled to suspend work, Belgium, t Holland and England were all the more ac- c tive in keeping the vacuum filled, and when c finally French military resistance collapsed, 'j Havre, with the extra inducements of an a impending duty on raw cotton, re-imported j in a mouth from Liverpool alone what she E had sent there out of reach of Prussian ap- j, (preheDded bombardment during six months, j !The Prussian Western provinces joined in Che scramble for American cotton, and from ^ 7*d. in March spot cot-ton gradually recov-11 ?red to at Liverpool; while from 13c. v -J<wr middling futures" at N'cw York on the [ 7th March were bounded to 211c. Considerable strength and consistency were iui- ^ parted to the movement by the lessened area j. planted in our cotton regiou, by cold and 0 rainy weather, a whole month's backwardness, a decreased application of fertilizers, n the relief felt everywhere at the vanishment e, of the continental war and turmoil, the ease r. in money matters and the good opinion ^ which attached to cotton while weeds were 1 n r ] esaag ^jin^Qxcxtow- j..M iug a man's height. *, \ J- n 'Gradually, however spinners "became well v stocked up, cur crop accounts brightened u . slightly and we declined to 18c. in August r to again touch 21c. iu September, till we arc once more lauded at nearly the previous fl*j- D ure. "V The precarious killing frost days near the a period of 22d to 25th September were watch- j, ed with the usual wistfulucss; but as soon a as we approached without mishap the month of November a stout faith in the safety of a w Christmas picking, and beyond, began to ^ prevail, producing the decline on bjth sides s ' , of the ocean, 0 While this process of shrinking in value e was developing, we followed the downward S| - ? M l- I I * ? - movement SJUggismy auu Kepi a iuuj; iiwc | | id. above Liverpool, and are still id. above I g, ' that parity to the present day. v That the European spiuuers should not c, be anxious to operate direct iu the Southern ; * ports above the Liverpool parity is thus easi- h Iy explained, and we. can not expect much gj ils participation on their part iu moviug the ac- 0 ;>. > cumuiatiug supply at the ports under the h circumstances, uor can we count upon En gland receiving fiill up to 400.000 bales du- s: ring the months of October, November and a December from here. We therefore esti- ^ mate the quautity to be received by all Eu- w rope till the end of the year from the United H , States at no more than that much, and exi: i amine how Europe is then likely to be sup- ^ plied: bales. Stock in Europe 20th of October - - - 800,000 Afloat for Europe, 447,000 bales, of which to arrive till 1st Juii. '72 - - - 247,000 1,140,000 v And furthermore to arrive from here - - 400,000 t s 1,540,000 v And deducting actual takings - - - - 010,040 "Would leave - -- -- -- -- -- -- - 0:23,000 etock, against a usual 1st January stuck of 550<000 bales. t> This would.go far to explain the indifference shown by Europeans to operate in our c markets, without reference to the improved ^ prospects of'a three and a half million crop, P At the comparatively moderate figure of 18c. As far as we are able to ascertain, howev- ^ er, the impression seems to be general that b about 17ic. there will bo numerous | b American and European purchasers ou this f ii4e, ;;egardiessof a slight excess of parity 11 above Liverpool', which may then exist, and jiotwithstau'ding the disturbed financial asE", in Europe and here, aud despite the D ibility of renewed etrikes in English and tinental manufacturing districts. "Were spinners and capitalists to go in courageous- 11 Jy at 17 J to 18c. a rebound would be inevitable that might carry prices a cent beyond, c r. ag the incoming shorts will probably prove t.. t more numerous man is now susjwlwu. j.u * other words, we deem at this juncture, hap- 3 pen what may, the figure of 18c. as devoid 1 of danger to the capitalist, while it is far . from unremunerative to the planter, although J ills extreme anticipations in point of value i. inay not be fully realised. 3 With a continuance of peace on the Continent m prospect just now, the European J Bpinners, although holding a half million bales beyond their immediate requirements, s would not be afraid of cotton at 9d., while 1 jre venture to say that they would purchase ( quite extensively at anything below this 1 figure. The same relates to our own spinning interest. Much will also depend, as usual, upon the proportion of low Middling and above versus the lower grades and high-colored cottons, which cannot yet be fully judged of till we shall have approached Christmas. The impression is that the higher grades will again be decidedly scarce, while the crop is less afflicted with high colored. Holders have been a good deal discon ccrted by the heavy receipts lately, but we do not deem them as yet indicative ot a more than three and a half million crop, inasmuch as we all know that the fine weather at first induced great activity in picking, to the neglect of ginning and forwarding to market, aud that at this moment more attention in bestowed in marketing after the danger of a killing frost has nearly passed. After a week or so the increase in the receipts may therefore be underrated instead of being precipitated, as many think. The cardinal point of putting the touchstone to values will again fall into the month of January. Should anything then arise to render a three and a half or four million crop debatable ground, which, of course, we do not expect for a moment that it will or can, )r a financial or political crisis supervene on 1 m the other side, there would be all the el- < mients for another haul of cheap cotton by I >ur capitalists. 1 Perkins Has the Tootha ohe. When I went to bed that night I appretended trouble. Along one jaw, the left f me, occasionally capered a grumbling sensa- j ion. It kept me awake an hour or so trying t o determine whether that was all there was j irsomething to come after that would need r nv wakeful urescncc to contend asrainst.? ? ?/ 1 ' ['hus pondering, I fell asleep, and forgot all a ;bout the trouble. I don't know how long ^ ' slept, but I fell to dreaming I had made a T natch for 850 a side to fight a cross-cut saw s 11 a steam-mill, and was well tc work on the ob, when the saw got my head between its y ceth. I thought this was a favorable time j o wake up, and* I did so. It immediately ^ ranspired that I might better have stayed v :herc 1 .vas, and taken the chances with he saw. v I found m}*self sitting straight up in bed, rith one hand spasmodically grasping my fi, iw, and the other swaying to aud fro with- gl ut any apparent cause. a It was au awful pain. It bored like lighting through the basement of/ny jaw, dart-* d across the roof of uiy mouth, -and then jj an lengthwise of my teeth. If every pang ad been a drunken plow chased by a de- ^ ion across a stump lot, I thing the observer ^ ^>uliUiMi^a.-iitiiiiA.iiiw^Mwditinn?I~oouhl|-? o l&ore g?TmrtMir thcTBUilui aguuy dtiai a 'as cavorting around in me. than could pick j, p a piece of wet soap when in a great hur- j( _ P Suddenly ft stopped. It went, giving j * le a parting kick that fairly made uic howl, j ]j I thought I was rid of the toothache, but -j grumbling set in next morning. It was e list like the feeling of the night before; and ^ still voice said to me, '-Lookout. Perkins." e I did. I went right away to the dentist j ho has pulled the teeth of our family and tj new our peculiarities. There was an uneasy | j. mcll about his office; it was very suggestive j, f trouble, and as I snuffed it in I ex perineed a sinking feeling in the pit of my tomach. I looked at him. and sickly smiled. a le was never, even on a holiday, the hand- u Dmest of men; but now his appearance was gj ery, very depressing. He looked like a u orpse with a lighted candle inside of it. n I told him what was the matter with me; 0 ow I had been up all night with a four- u :ory pain; how my wife had been thrown ut of bed by the violence of uiy suffering; t] ow . i' He asked me if I wouldn't sit down. I ^ it down on what was once a hogshead, but ow cut down and newly carpeted, lie eld back my head, opened my moutn, ana cnt fishing around inside with a piece of f, 'atoll-spring. y And while he angled he conversed. Said a c: J "You have caught a terrible hard cold." u "I have." J "It seems the trouble is with one of the ^ icuspids." c Of course I didn't know what a bicuspid j, ras, but I thought it wouldn't look well in he head of a family being struck with so a hort a word as that; so I asked, with some y igor: ? "Which one ?" "The tumorous," said he. "I am glad it ain't any worse," I replied, g hrowing a sigh of relief. j "The frontal bone is not seriously affect- ^ d; the submaxillary gland i- somewhat en- t irged, but it docs necessarily follow that e arotitus will ensue." "I am proud to hear that," said I?which certainly was, although if the parotitus n ad ensued it is not at all likely that I should s avc minded it . mu^li, unless it was some- e hing that would spill, as I was dressed up d n my best. a He kept on talking and angling. c "The oesophagus ain't loose," ho next re- a naked. c "Ah!" said I winking at him. \ "Oh, no, the ligaments are quite firm. I v oight say " - t "^*1 Ol? t_ _ , J.l_ _ J _ 1 "l>iu it nurc you: ne uskcu, as ouui uuu s aim as the lid of an ice-cream freezer. <] "Hurt mo! Great Heavens! did you ex- t iect to split me open with a watch-spring I ind not have it hurt me? What was the f natter?did you slip ?" "Certainly not," lie said j "I was just tryng to get hold of the tooth. Just hold your f lead back an instant, and I will have it out it once." c "I guess I won't try it again," said I, a nth a shiver. "The tooth is bad enough, E jut it is Heaven alongside of that watch- i ipring. You may come up some time and < jull it out when I ain't at home. I think I sould endure the operation if I was off about i sight blocks. Come up when you can." \ A 4 i Daniel Webster and Joe D. An incident is connected with the life of our great statesman, Panjel Webster, which I have never seen reported, but as I know it to be true, and it illustrates one phase of his character not often presented to the World, I will tell the story as it occurred. The year 1850 I passed in Plymouth, Mass., making my home at the "Samoset," the house for a full breeze, a social chat, and aquiet home. Parker & Xribou were the proprietors. I can always hear Jim's stop firnlfloo fnnrviin lrnon_ I vuivugu uaii, ?io WIVIWW ing time to his flying feet. Mr. Webstor's residence, at Marshfield, was about ten miles distant, but here ho often came to meet his personal and political friends, and in the Summer months it was hie favorite resort, and often.we had him for days together, an ever-welcome guest. Here he seeuied at home. Here we forgot that he was the statesman, but we never can forget that he w..s a social and agreeable gentlemau. His fable-talk, his twilight conversations, will ever be remembered by those who were fortunate enough to enjoy them. Fishing along a beautiful brook, winding through the forest of scrubby pines that covets the country a short distance from the bay, was his morning recreation. Dressed in bis never-failing blue coat, and gilt buttons, bis memorable straw hat, and his loug rubber boots, he presented to the stranger the ippearance of anything but god-like. The stream he loved so well was famous or trout, and he was famous for net catchng them. Often he would sit for hours on i moss-covcrcd stono in a retired nook, his ine dangling in and above the water, but J tever-a bite; and if there had been, the fish, vas safe, for lie was entirely unconscious of ,11 around and about him. Oue warm sul ry morning in July, while thus absorbed he ras aroused by hearing from across the i bream: 1 "Hullo, there! hullo, I say. How are ] ou '( Nice morning this! Got any fislj ? < lave any bites? How d'ye get over there? i 've been fishing two hours nary bite. I see 1 ou have long boots on; what'll you take to i arry me over ? don't want to gut my feet ( ret. I'll pay ye well; what'll ye take ? Here he paused long enough forjMr. Web- < ter, who had all the time b'een survjringthe i pcaker (a slight-built, dandified y<?th,) to sk? ; < "What will you give ?" { "Well, a quarter; that's 'Dough, ain't < <?" y _ /" / < So, quietly laying down his rod, ho took 1 is way to our Hoston boy, Joe I) ;, who, s y the way, was as good a fellow as evor sold t Hn www wmegfc a threa, days' fuclnnrr^ nd bouffd to ig and sight-seeing of a season into the al- j )tted three days' time, and one was rapidly t aseing away. iMr. Webster seated himself i u the bank, Joe mounted his shoulders, and 1 ke Ctesur whom Cassius from the raging 'j 'iber bore, so Joe upon the godlike should- t rs safely crossed the stream. The quarter uickly changed hands. Mr. Webster qui- 1 tly settled into his accustomed seat, while i oc ou further pleasure bent, hastened up j he stream. Tired and hungry, he returned a ite for dinner, and passed into the dining p all, where the guests were engaged in the ] ist act of the drama. c Our Bostoniun, however, fell to it with an s ppctite sharpened by his morning exercise, i nd with a full determination to make up ill t peed what he had lost iii time. So intent c u his own affairs was lie, that he took no t oticc of those around the table, until some i ne requested Mr. Webster to relate bis I loraing adventures. !i Joe looked up, and following with his own S hcdircction of all eyes, he beheld his morn- t ig Aeneas. Turning to his nearest neigh- b or he asked: h "Who is that ?" "That! why that's Daniel Webster." lie found no further use for his knife and 1 irk, and was siLntly leaving the table, when a lr. Webster saw and recognised nim, with 8 look or nod?Joe could never tell which? etaincd him, and requested him to take ine. He took the wine with a trembling and, and with a look of earnest entreaty, egged .Mr- Webster not to relate the ciruuistances which occurred iu the inornMr. Webster replied, "You should not be shamed of the adventure, since there is no oung uian in the country, however lofty is aspirations that will be likely to attain lie position you this morning occupied." Joe left the table, the house, and on the rst train left town, satisfied that- he had one enough for one season. In the evenag Mr. Webster related the whole affair to he assembled guests, and to this day Joe njoys the soubriquet of "Dan." J Scene in a Public Room.?A Frenchaan of the sans culotte order in a corner, moking a short, dirty pipe. Enter a selfvident Yankee adventurer, with a stupen!ous shiny stovepipe towering abore his oaplocks, and wrapped in a long-tailed overoat. He walks up against the hot stove, nd a tliin but fragrant wreath of smoke urls upon trom his coat-tail to the ceiling; rhereatthe Frenchman replenishes his bowl nth tobacco aud garlic, and'pulls afay with he vigor of a locomotive. The cqluuin of uioke from the Yankee's cout-tail assume a larkcr hue, and the atmcmphere savors of t obaceo, garlic and burned wool. The Yan- i ;ee glances angrily at Frenchy, and pro- c anely exclaims: j "Darn the blasted pipe!" The Frenchman placidly removes the stem rom his mouth. s "Qui, oui! Darn ze busted olft pipe and J lam zo busted old coaUtail, too I Here you j imoke him zeez ten, twenty minutes, and he i itink ! and I nevaire say one woitl. I smoke j ny pipe ; you smoke your coat-tail. Bozc ( jentleuien shall, please him best/!" i The Yankee gave one hasty glance in the e ear, and sailed from the room, leaving a < rail of trifling smoke behind him. < A Alcoholic. fc. ? . Alcohol is a product of putrefaction. It is to liquids what carrion is to meat. It begins, with the death of the grain, it ends with the death of the drinker. All processes of distillation are forms of decay and death.? Tfeealcohol, thus obtained by abnormal procejtees; fe the intoxicating element in all intoxicating driuks. The chief difference between beer and whiskey is the percentage of&Icohol. We are told that it is the abuse, not the use, of alcoholic drinks against winch we should guard the community.? Granted. What is the use of alcohol ? is certainly not food. The experiments of -Messrs. Lallemand, Perrin, and Duroy /] nitanin ni IvAnnnfl mama/Iff Ant It MA If uvjuuuatJiJic; lulil ucjuiiu jji;i ju\ cuiuiu. 10 parties out of the stomach in the same cond*&>n in which it entered?unassimilated, a foreign substance. The body can make out of neithef befbe, nor sinew, muscle, blood, oiftflesh. It hates to rid itself of the intrudc$ fart of it is carried to the lungs. The fumes of the toper's breath bear witnpss to itscxhalation. Part is carried to the kidneyfc, where it is the prolific cause of Bright's duajase. Part is carried to the brain, which" souks it up like a sponge. Part is carried to thfe. skin, which irritated by its presence, breaks out in boils and blotches. Every part of the body becomes impregnated with 1 it.,:'The toper is rightly/called an "old 1 so^jter."^ The first effect of alcohol is thus ' toiipur the system up to strenuous efforts to 1 caSt out its foe. It stimulates. It dees no^f 1 caftpot strengthen. It is never truly a tonic. ' Buji,-if it promotes some activities, it delays ' others. The excretory organs are so busy 1 getting rid of this intruder that they are 1 presented from pursuing their legitimate 1 bq&bess. The old, effete, worn out tissues, ' thereforejemain. Men drink to gain flesh, f This flesh of the toper is carrion. Alcohol ! never makes new flesh nor new muscle. It simply hinders, wastes, aud forbids* repair. ( This is its second effect. But, as all men ' i _ - ? i? ? . _ _ *1 T) 1 Know,*113 cuiei enectsare on mo orain. my : W poison bus its special affinity. That of ' ileohril is for the nervous Bysteui. But it is ( be base and not the top of the brain 1 ;t stimulates. It paralyzes tho will. It de- 1 broncs the Reason. It vitiates tho affections, j [t gives predominance to the brute. A ' Irnukai d is like a groat city under the law c of'lhe iuob. Such are the effects of alcohol in its bist jstate. But alcohol in its best is a rarity, brychnine, stramonium, belladonna, tobacco' coeulus and opium are all employed to rij^spen and strengthen^it. Adulteration is nfi'versal. Dr. Hiram Cox, chemical in- s ^ior in Ohio iu 1865. after an analysis of c ICfpruducts of six hundred different stores, ] f'^l|^P|1||^^ { hie articles used for adulteration. Let no ? ufin think that his liquor is pure because 0 ie got it directly from the custom-house. ^ fhe merchants of Oporto ship nearly five c lilies as uiucn wine as is pruuuceu iu wc j Duoro Valley. One drug house in London jj ast year sold to one liquor firm in that city e Bore strychnine than the whole medical p jrofessiou of the city would require in the q amu time, St. Louis and Chicago alone *0 ell more California wine than tho whole e fuoific coast produces. Of these liquors? j, listilled, brewed and vinous?we arc con- ? mining in the United States five hundred 0 uyl forty million gallons per year; or nearly 0 weuty gallons to every man, woman, and r hild. U'e have a drinking saloon to every u hree hundred inhabitants. And we omploy j, n the making and sale of those drugs three j, lundred and thirty-five thousand men. This e n brief, is the liquor traffic in the United tj Itates. Its effects on disoaso, crimo, taxa- r ion, and mental and moral disorder cannot jj >e summed up in statistics or given in a ^ laf-a-column epitome. n Rounn os a Dead Head.?An editor j1 n Harrisburg lost his pass on tho railroad, ,nd requested the officers of the road to ecure the arrest of any man who should ? resent it. The next day he found the pass n the pocket of his Sunday trowsers, and ^ iroceeded to take a trip upon it. As soon .. 1." if f? flm /..,>wl>i,.f.\r ftint. til! til fill P O lie UUUWU IV IV I.UW VWUUUVW4 V.MV tlicial kuocked him on the head with his iiutern, called in three brakemen and the wggagc-uiaster; dragged hiin, despite his ^ rantie struggles along the floor into the Mjggage car, where a brakeman sat on him jj rhilo the conductor battered him up a lot, , o that he would keep quiet, and then they caichud him, to ascertain what other thefts ic had been perpetrating. With the excep- y io??of a ticket to the circus, that man had ipon his person absolutely nothing but rail- e oad passes I lie bad free tickets over all u he'railroads in the Eastern, Southern, Mid- *j' llonnd Western iStatcs, and in four of the rj. territories. He had a pass over a railroad ^ rem Yeddo to Yokohama, and another from Ininnttji tn Ronrrnl Ha Wri n. letter nroinis ~ r J. ng him one on the new roud which is pro- ^ >osed in Terra Del Fuego, and a manuscript j mff which he had written for a rnjin who . lad assured him he should have a pass over he road, which the man said he was about j o run under the Mediterranean from Africa . o Italy, as soon as it was built. The contactor concluded that he had caught the j* jteatest pass-kleptomaniac that the world ^ ivcr saw. But when he got back to Harris)urg the affair was explained.?And now, if ^ here is any one editor in the country who 1 8 completely sick of "gentlemanly conductire," that editor resides in llarrisburg.? . f*hila- Sunday Dixpatch. A nice young girl at green Bay, Wiscon- ^ in, was being courted by a nice young man. tie was generously inclined, and made her 11 iresents of hair oil, which he purchased torn the store of the father of his adored. , ifter giving her some twenty bottles of the ? ileaginous fluid ho discovered he was workng in a circle?as fast as he presented them ^ the returned them to the store, thus lutifully making trade for her father. No lards. ^ ? ' i . * The Uncertainties of Evidence. Last fall a man named Lloyd Smith, living at or near Winnebago city, in this State, was arrested upon a requisition from Gov. Fairchild, of Wisconsin, which was based upon what was then considered as reliable evi- a dence, that Mr. Smith had a horse in his possession which bad been #to1en from acit- p izen of Wisconsin seme time before. The papers coming in proper shape, aud th^re being no good reason apparent for not ac- fc! ceding to the demand fjr extradition, Gov. al Austin issued a warrant, and Smith was taken under arrest to that State. In a short at time he was placed on trial upon the charge n< of horse stealing, and witnesses having testified that the horse found in Mr. SmitAfe possession was the one stolen from Wisconsin, he was found guilty of the charge and sentenced to tho penitentiary of that State for a term of years.' .Jnc -rt i ^ 1 4 .A 4 ? t .1 J. .Broken down and overwhelmed. Dy the ui net work of wrong into.which he had fallen, ru the unfortunate man seemed to lose hope for In the future, and despaired of over being able to break through the wall of injustice by ca which be was surrouhded and crushed.? -?.'j While awaiting patiently as a man could wait Wil under such circumstances, his old neighbors in Faribault county, unwilling that an unoffending fellow citizen should bo imprison- 'a( ed without cause, and be deprived of the in- ' e estimable right of liberty, bepn to examine cn the. charges madougainst him, aud to in- Se terest themselves in bis behalf- During these investigations, it has transpired that da the same hoi;se which was identified at the th< trial of Smith'in Wisconsin, had been in his It possession for six years, almost the whole time no tho .accused had resided in'the State?-and h. lould not therefore by any possibility be the one stolen, and so positively and certainly jworn to .t>y the witnesses at the trial. Ex-Senator Latimer and other gentlemen P?] )f the highest respecability residing in that ma ;ounty are willing to testify in regard to he ownership of the horse claimed to "ei mve been stolen. Gov. Austin has address- cu' id the Executive of Wisconsin, setting forth he facts as they exist, and it is to be hoped th< tiil flinrn will K/> tin dn'ntr in s/v>iirinir Ilia eleasc, and that a rightful clemency may fori je shown to a wronged and injured citizen if Minnesota.?&'t. Pa\U Prtss. ^ ?r< Quill Boratohee. "e; .. .. am sleeping cae incident, *01 "We have among ns a man named?let ns ay Smith?who is ahother victim o?the ao- " l lursed railroad monopolies wliich are rapid- oC( y ruining the country that our $300"8ubstiu^egjmnoblvfought tosavm A few night* kbout midnight he thought he would-g*t. ut upon the platform for a few moments to ireathe the fresh air and to enjoy the deliious moonlight Ile.did so, and slammed ho door after him. Iff a minute or two be iad breathed enough fresh air and lud gazd sufficiently long upon tho moonlight. It ras cold, so he turned to go iuto the car. "he door had a spring-lock and would not pen, and although he thumped and poundd with vigor the ear-keeper did not hear ;im. So that deluded Smith, dressed in a ighl-shirfc of ridiculous thinness, sat down n the steps while the train went dashing vcr tho Allcghanies. Probably in the whole calm of Nature a more disconsolate and lolnnnlinltr Sniitli fVion fluifc all 1111 florin or hfi IklXIIVUVIJ wu"'" """" o ig upon the steps could not be found; and boc e was mad besides. When the train reach- gle d Downington he was discovered. He re- sou iined his sitting posture when he was car- 1 yi ied into the car, and even when h6 got Bu onie. And now he sits in a chair with suH andagcs on his h-ad, tailow upon his nose, law mstard plasters upon his back, his feet in the ot water, and with enough rheumatism in cou is bones to go around among the entire pet mith family, and make each member utter- An j miserable. When interviewed upon the cor abject of sleeping-cars and moonlight Mr. mith now uses language which no respecta- ,. le paper can print without endangering the ^ ublic morals. ,' lan< An unknown man was recently discoveri poisoned in one of the streets of Paris. em] n searching the body at the dead-house a Sar apcr was found in his side-pocket, ou which ^ie e had carefully written, minute by minute, t'3r is "impressions" at the approach of death, ho fnllnwinsr is a conv of a nortion of the lce; "" o ? ~ - 11/ ? r Grange document : Ten o clock at night? rj must finish. I will get into a garden and nd all in an unknown corner. Five min- j j tes past 10?Here I am in the corner, cov- jn ( red up with my cloak. The air is cold and amp; but what have I to fear from cold! * he gaslight just reaches me. Quarter past ? ' 0?Everything is ready. I take my bottle [' poison. How strange ! to think that these Qvc !W drops will separate my soul from my j j ody. Tweuty minutes past 10?"L'is dono ! jj haye swallowed the litjuid ! What is go- * ig on within me ? I feel nothing but curi- j dty. The cafes below are gay. I hear lem. My ideas arc confused. The world auj i disappearing from me. 31y childhood apears before me, mother, father, all 1 Quarsr to eleven. Sleep is overcoming mc. The j eginning of the end is nt hand. My legs w{w re dead. Where is my soul'! Will it wan- jea er from globe to globe through thousands Fcenturies! What matters! I came into e; le world withbut thinking; I must leave it p "I -?-l??- TV1.?* ,1~ 7 1G 83.U1C. filCVCU U uluciw. tt uai uu iuvj ^ ly ? The cold has reached my stomach. 4^ ly head is heavy. I cannot sec. Oh! 1 j^] lould know?There were a few words lore, but they could not bo deciphered. jr^ An enterprising Detroit man is taking or- j0^ ers for the delivery of buckwheat cakes to unilies for breakfast. The cakes are to be arnished cheaper than they can be manuictured at home. . ^ Aduice to children : mind your mothers, the idvico to mothers: mind your children. tior ADVERTISING RATES. Space. f M. 2M. 8M. GM! 1 Y. . ' 1 square * f OB 6 00 ' 8 00 12 00 10 00 2 squares . 6 00 9 00 12 00 18 00 20 00 8 squares 9 00 18 00 10 00 24 00 86 00 ? 4 squares ,12 00 16 00 20 00 80.00 48 00 i column 15 00 19 00 24 00 84 00 60 00 . A column 20 00 80 00 40 00 65 001 80 00 1 column 30 00 50 001 60 00 90 00160 00 All Transient Advertisements will b? charged l.fe Doleab per Square for the first and Site*. rr-rive Cexts per Square for each subsequent n portion. Jr*icealilli_ A fireside tail?the cat's. Tweed "knows how it is himself' now. A question of time?asking a lady her g?"Will you have a snake?" is the latest hrase for asking a frieud up. A Minnesota juror tddressed a note to le judge in which he styled him as "onorble jug." If, in swapping horses, yu git kornered, id kan't lii, postpone the trade until the ;xt day. "The Murdered Soup Bone" is the title of late novel. It must be "rather thin" read- " g\ Mr. William Ink, of New Hampshire, is >w. 103 years old. If his parents had <jvef earned that he was going to be so hard to b out, they would have doubtless named him delible. '?*;?. . " < "Who is that foreign lady with the low* t dress?" asked a bystand at a party .'hat is Miss Cheniisoif, a .Russian lady," is the reply. s . :i The Wotfd in answer to an inquisitive ly correspondent,.defines "stag parties" as utertainuienta whereat bucks usually got ough additional horns to make them stagr." A Canadian postmaster had a keg of uiaged powder and threw a lump of it in 3 stove to see if it was ttood for. anything* was; but the stove isn't good for anything w?though the postmaster will never know A Chicago policeman poisoned a dog. s master (the dog's) twisted his ear .(the lineman 's), and he now wears his eye (the ,n does) in a sling. Due of WoodfulTs correspondents signs rself, 'Yours, thelemically, pautaguelmti- . iy, pantisocfatically." When Mis. Moore, of Indianapolis, says ) Worldy thrashed her husband thit afflict* man took revenge by calling her "the de of lam-a-Moore." Dr. Livingstone, the Great African Travel* was at liFggbuvvakkwiz?, when last ird from. One account says he is alive i the other says he is dead. "You takes jr ohoice." An Illinois burglar slid down a chimney get into a store, but as the fire place had m walled up he'did liotget out until the oc eno7 ^ Pliocene, tuff, Lias and trias, : , .1, And tliat is enough, FOK THE CHEMICAL CHILD. Sing a song of acids, Base und alkali, , Four-aud-tweuty gases Baked into a pie; Wlien tlie pie was opened, Wonderful to say, Oxygen and nitrogen : Both flew away! it is indeed an ill wind that blows no' ly good. It is said that there is not a sinindictuient left against any accused perin Cook county, Llinois, which is certaini piece of good fortune for some rogues, t, on the other hand, the lawyers have fered severely. Hardly a law library or office is left; not a paper to show that re is a suit pending in any of the six rts of the county; not a judgment, not a ition in bankruptcy in the federal courts, d worse yet, so far as is known all the rods of deeds and mortgages are destroyed. irVhile a colored gentleman was swinging l/? P _ 1 1- ' . 1 ~ lsen irom a nooit in an lce-uoune in -s lisville, the hook came out and the darkey ded in the cellar, striking his head on a ink of ice, breaking it in pieces. His ployer hurried down, expecting to find ubo dead; but there he sat, looking up at place he fell from. On seeing the. gennan, the durkie exclaimed: lFo' de Lord, boss, 1'se sorry I broke iat I is, sartin." ["he place is a sacred edifice in Bath, ine. The pew is crowded. The sermon ong. A respectable citizen goes to sleep, dose proximity to him is a lady. The acher was in the midst of the closing yer, when the slumberer astonished the gregation in a tone of complaint: "Come, ie, Sarah! lay along; don't crowd so! lay r! lay over!" "Sarah," who was fortunaton the pew also, never for a moment lost presence of mind, but administered a ely poke with her parasol, which awakenlcr dormant lord and prevent any further larks on his part. A warning to sleepy itors or long-winded preacher?no matter ell. Risn Bulls.?It was an Irishman who ited to find a place where there was no th, that he mignt go ena nis aays tnere. ras an Irish editor that exclaimed, when I xking of the wrongs of Ireland, "Her cup , I aisery has been for ages overflowing and I ot yet full!" It was an Irish newspaper t said of Robespierre that "He left no I dren behind him except a brother, who | killed at the same time." It was an b coroner who, when asked how he ac- g nted for an extraordinary mortality in fl lerick, replied sadly, "I cannot tell.? H ire are people dying this year that never I 1 before." It was an Irish hand-bill that H ounccd, with boundless liberality, in re incc to a great political demonstration in fl| Rotunda, that "Ladies, without distiuc- fl i of sex, would be welcome." H