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, JOURNAL. INDEPENDENT ^MILY PAPER, PUBBtenSr BY ?'. jjk JOTI1V KM^HAW; SUBSCRIPTl^RATES. One year, in advance S3 00 Six months 1 60 ^Three months 76 jgfr* Transient Advertisements must be paid . for in advance. = i Baron Munchausen , in California* VOL. S. < ^ TTI^^ The following is a very fair representation ^iomewhat enlarged, of the' " bigtjjtfk " about the agricultural productions of the Pacific coast which one hears in these parts: Two weeks ago 1 started on a visit to the Yo-Semite Valley. I arrived at the wharf a moment too late to get on board, and instead j of waiting until the next day, I determined to go to Stockton ou horseback. I accordingly crossed the Bay to Oakland, or as it is better known, "Little Peddlington," procured a horse and rode^bve^ to the Livermore Valley, where I P ayed all night with a rancher, known in the valley as ' Clamps." They call him that because he got rich by * holding on tg his money with a degree of 'fm-titiidA not universal in the countrv. As supper time drew n4nr "Clamps" asked me if I would have tfome egg, and how I prcfer' 'led itydraid, soft, boiled or fried. I told him I ..would like some eggs, and that it . woukf suit me best to have theui soft-boiled. few moments there came Clamps and Tlisjwjfe rolling an egg the size of a flour bar?el,..lrlych they boiled in a short ti??e in a caldron, and then set it up on end by fern's chair at the table. A hole was e in the top of the shell, and the egg icd out with a long-handled ladle. I was lislied at the sight of the egg, and observed that his hens must be enormously large. "By no means," he replied. "You will not be surprised when I tell you that one ben did not lay this egg alone; it took seven or eight hens almost a week to lay it. Wjs a joint stock production of the chickens, but still it is better than the individual "* responsibility plan. At breakfast next morning we had more egg, aud then I went on the road to Stock- , ton.. I reached San Joaquin River at noon, Uft-Wttd ICiriCU 1U ? uuii|uu-iuvatii^ I craft. While the ferryman was tagging si- j lently At his big oars, 1 iuquired whether his ferry was profitable. "Doesn't scarcely pay for raisin' the boat," < he-replied. \ "liaising the boat ?" I repeated; "what j <io you mean by raising the boat ?" I "Mister,'' said he, resting for a w&le on , his wire, "you be a stranger vin these^urts, , bean't you t" I replied thatr I had not been long in the country. j "Then," said he, pointing to the shore, , "this ero boat growed in that pumpkin patch , oTurypiHler.'' "Growed in that pumpkin patch!" I exclaimed. "Growed jn that pumpkin patch,_ oft a , d! here~~?ver b> atbArnr 1 i "That ain't no barn," he answered, "unless ] you choose to call it so. That's a pumpkin, ( fob. But I made a hole iu the end on't and ; let the stock inside, and when the wet season i sets in, why, you see, I plug up the hole and ] let'em VV inter there. They come out aw- ] ful fat in the Spring. That big grecu-lofk- | ing squash over yonder I'm hollerin' out to i liveiu." i "Are these the growth of the season ?" I ] asked. u\Ve don't have no 6uch difference here < On the San Joaquin as growin' seasons and them others ; things keep on growin' all the | time, till we pull 'eui or they die." I As I was taking leave of the ferryman he j gave me a pumpkin seed, with the re- j mark that I might astonish the folks in i the East with it; but before twenty-four f hours elapsed I cauic near having a calamity i by reason of it myself. < . It was in this wise: After riding several ( hours in the sun I was so overcome by drow- \ iness as to find it impossible to keep in the j addle; and, dismounting, lay down on the t ground, intending to take a nap. I had the ij pumpkin seed in uiy vest pocket- During ] my slumbers it fell ou tl?e ground, and .1 rolled over on it. My great latigue caused < me to oversleep myself, *nd I awoke in the j morning by being roughly hurried over the i ground in my prostate position, with what < seemed to be a rope around my T>ody. I \ bowled lustily for help, and my-erica at- ] iracted the attention of two uieu who were on their way to the harvest field. Od being relieved from my perilous position the mystery became clear. The warmth of my body caused the punmkin seed to sprout . and begin growing, and one of the tendrils of the new vine hud coiled itself around my body, dragging mc along in its rapid growth J a distance of more than half a mile before I was awakeued. My deliverers had a hard | rppjo beep pace with me in the clutches of the pumpkin vine, and finally arrested my J progress by cutting it with their scythes blades." I gave them the vine ns their re- 1 ward, and we counted on it no less than three 1 hundred young pumpkins, ranging from the J siae of a hen's egg to a flour barrel. There is but one more thing I will notice. f>ix years ago a gentleman residing neai ; Stocjfjton planted a grape vine by his* house in two years the building was completely enfolded in the branches of the vine, and the gentleman was surprised at seeing his dwelling starting from its foundations. The vine grew with wonderful vigor, and carried the bouse unharmed up to the height of sixty feet in the air, where it remained. The gentlemau now reaches his front door by means of a winding stair case around the trunk of the grape vine, and anybody who will take the trouble to go and see will find it out just -?have said. ^ f- - . >A liberal minded Boston tourist handed a half dollar to a rough looking Nevado miner who had politely shown him through a shaft. f:Stranger, how much are you worth ?" inquired Nevado. "Well, about twenty-five thousand dollars," replied Boston. "Then I guess I won't take your half dollar, i made two hundred and fifty thousand dollars here myself last month." Boston retired in a demoralized condition, ft A Fire Wedding. A young lady of Chicago who was engaged"" to be married about the time the fire occurred, determined that the programme should be carried out notwithstanding the loss of her wardrobe. A correspondent says of the affair: Alas, what bride and groom of the present day could knee] on a bare floor and I get up again gracefully ? In vain blocks of woods, boxes, and books were tried?one was too high, another was too low. At last a bright thought cante?carriage cushions! Four cushions were brought from the barn, and an Afghan coSterted them into a lovely hassock. As it is (or was) impossible in these days to have a wedding without showing "the presents," a vine-wreuthed table in one coiner held a most elaborate display. A beautiful jewel-case was set forth as tho bridegroom's gift?a set of exquisite pearls, which you had to look at very nearly to discover that they were moulded from fine white ravelings of cotton cloth. Other cases contained sets of pickle-forks, preserve-spoons and so forth, cut out. in pasteboard, with moldings and monograms in lead-pencil.? Valuable jewelry was plenty, only unfortu- i natcly the lava car-rings had been dug once I too often, and the cameos looked very black i and queer round the edges. A pewter tables- 1 spoon, a German-silver fork, and some valuable aids to housc-keepi lg in the broom I and dust-pan line, completed the array, i which certainly was unitgie, and interested ' < the spectators much more than the usual 11 clintr nt. ivlipn it rvmin t/i ftrASStncr ttiA ! { bride, serious difficulties occurred. Her wed- < ding-dress and veil bud never conio tiome 1 from Field & Leitncrs. Never mind, she had a morning-dress, which looped over a*nice petticoat, would make her slender figure look lovely, and her married sister had saved her own wedding-veil. Some simple ' white flowers from a neighbor's yard took 8 the place of orange-blossouis, and a sot- of a pearls was borrowed from a friend who had 1 brought them out of the fire in her hands. 8 As for stockings, handkerchiefs, &c., the va- c rious guests provided these from among 1 them. So the pretty bride looked, after all, 2 is sweet as a rose, and the long-laid away r tuelle veil, became her soft fair locks to a f charm. The groom was dressed in borrowed 1 clothes from head to foot, as was the first u bridesmaid, while the brother that gave a away the bride complained that he, being. , five feet nine, was obliged to borrow the dress suit of a man who stood six feet and a six in his stockings, and that consequently when he stepped forward to perform his c brotherly duty, he was obliged to take-.a 1 reef in his. habiliments to prevent falling 1 ? ? 1.: . A Unafti nil .was ready. ^ actual presence of fire?the bride and groom * hastened their wedding so as to go away to- 1 gether among friends who could shelter and a help them. The minister who had married ^ them had promised his congregation that c be would stay among them, and work with * bis hands if necessary, being bereft of all he ^ uad in the world. And this was all that ' was left of one of the richest congregations 1 in the richest city of the West! But never e have I seen, among rich or poor, a sweeter r md more holy-seeming Wedding, and when, ^ n'.er the solemn words were said, the con- f gregation, at a s:gn from the minister, drop- ' p.*d on their knees arid offered a solemn ] thanksgiving to the Almighty for their preservation through the horrors of the last 1 few dreadful days, broken voices and tender s md heartfelt tones attested the reality of the service. And so the warn) biscuit and cold 0 water that stood for wedding-cake and wine a were partaken of, with a plentiful seasoning v )f cheerful words and even jests, and all d felt that to be poor in such good company o robbed ruin of half its sting. Indeed, I must u my that the spirit of these afllictcd people v is simply wonderful. Not a whine does one a bear, nor does one often meet a dismal face. 1 ?>i i _ ? r*t?1_ rr??:u v All gJOH' ,u Ueing i'lara. jLupicyo, wii ivottm.i sometimes as though the cheerfulness was t more than natural. One lady when condoled t with for the loss of her house, remarked: 1 'Oh, well, after all, it burned up a lot of old t things up in the garret that I never should s have found courage to throw away." i a Robbery of a Railway Train. c f The robbery of express messengers has c long been regarded as one of the finer branches of thieving. Usually one or moie ^ masked men yiddenly appear in the car. and with cocked pistol levelled at the head of the messenger, rifle his safe and then jump from the train. An instance of this kind, with slight exceptions, occurred on the Mobile and Ohio Railroad. The train going north at that time stopped at Union City for t supper. As another train usually passes a down at the same time, the passenger train is backed down the road a short distance and a run on a swith. The train urrived 011 time e and was duly switch, alter which both ( engineer and fireman repaired to the eatinghouse for their 6uppcr. Since the late rob- \ bery of the express car at Moscow, only a ] few miles from Union City, the expressmen on this road have been doubled, two men re- 11 maining with each car. One of the men is t the regular messenger, while the other is merely a guard. At Union City that even- t ing the regular messenger went to his sup- j per, and left the guard to watch the car. ] n this way there was at the time really but one 1 man about the train. 1 After finishing their suppers the engineer j and fireman lighted their 6egars and started for the train. To their great surprise they < discovered that it was at least a utile down ' f the road. Starting on a rapid run they soon 11 arrived there, and upon examination found : | everything about the engine all right. 1 Knowing that a guard had been left in the i express car they went back to question him t iq "reference to the strange proceeding. The < guard was found sitting almost speechless frith terror in one corner, of the car, while 1; i his safes were open and the contents stre^l or$r the floor. When askod what was tty matter he finally managed to imike a Btdfe mcnt to the following effect: Soon after a} had left the train for supper and whilst, hj ! was eating a cold lunch, he noticed th? trau start Off. backing down from the dtati(U Before nc could even arise to ascertain thj cause, two men entered the car drawn pistols demanded his ^s. ~^TEThP itig more of his life than the property intrusted to his cafe, and being likewise frightened nearly to death, he hastily combed with tjie brusque demand. With ;Ji cocked pistol, the muzzle of which was b$t a very few inches from his ear, the guard sat vnrv af ill nViiln mi a nf t.hn mi?n rnmmnj?fld the sale. After running a short dietarijjlg the train gradually slackened, and the gtidw? heard a rough, gruff voice coining from tljp, engine, which wauted to know if they weto not about through. As 'they were, th^dw ginccr pro torn, was so informed, ffnfl JwH kindly telling the guard that they wouldnw him if he moved, the two men took tbjfl departure, carrying with them all the monjfl that had been in the safes. l"hrce men we? all the guard thought were .connected wiffl the affair. He said he would have givdft -raS alarm, but he was afruid that the men woujy kill him. 'sH The amount taken from the safe, was between $1,500 ond $2,000 principally m miall packages. There seems to be a regular jrganizmd band of robbers in that portion of :he country similar to the Teno thieves, of Seymour, Indiana, fame. Hunting the\nt lowu, convicting and hanging them woujtf lave a good effect. Diving for Amber. / _ . . .V: ~ A./ I 1 ' The labor required is of tbwfcvejtest kini. Hie "stroug-boued -iraeund" fe^nnts , /flier i bed by. Curlytc, the desoendaSw mcient Curses uad.^caiiuitss, men ^of^-JEf eckloss* and' adventurous t&tfieej{ded mugglers, perchuuce,/ton tbe bordcr:VMwm| >f aucipnt Tola.nu, have purchasttjY, heir CttUin^with' tlie Cossack biiilet-s (ill for the ret*ruitpfedyw^h* dftiqv adve-n-f j ore of the Brusferor*N^nlis|? t iujsepVLe. 'jjjl coetwiia of the diveH^ s ,8 follows i A foment covers tit? a mtii-a body, TWa is again encompassed ? ;y aainWa.rub?>oitrace, made in one pieci; r >ut different i^Miape from the old-fushioriaj \ iiving-deess, and\llowing the diver to'lie it] f |ull^lerj^b. ahw, is of ^a'liovii ^ ipdda-r^^^i^^rty St long^^| qyaarutus boing scientifical^rurranged so$i o admit a sufficient supply of pure air froju ibovc, and flieans of exit for the expired jreatli. The heailet is provided with three iDenincs. covered with glass, and protected f O ' >y wire, for the use of the eyes aud mouth. iVhen this contrivance has been screwed on o the person of the diver, a rope tied round lis waist, and huli' a hundred of lead attach:d to his feet, shoulderB and hemlet, he is eady for his plunge. Down, fathoms deep, ic descends in the amber world. He stays here, may be for five hours at a time, loot, ng, dragging, tearing the amber from tys led with his heavy two-pronged fork. Often t resists his utmost efforts. However col$ he weather may be, these men of iron trength will come up from their submarine abors streaming with perspiration. The verscer stands in the boat to receive the uiber from thuir pockets. In case he should rish to ascend before the usual time, the liver has to close his mouth and breathe five r six times through his nostrils, by th is tieans filling the apparatus with air, which vill bring him to the surface without assistnee. The diving boats are manned by 8 nen each?two divers, two pairs of men iho work the air pump alternately, with heir eyes fixed on a dial-plate, by which he supply of air is nicely regulated, one nan to hold fhe safety-rope attached uround he diver's body, and haul him up at the i lightest sign from below, and the overseer. ! " - . i t . jI v.cciaents are saia to oe very raiej dul, asi n instance of the daring character, of the I uen employed, it is related that a plot was letected not long ago among some of them or a noc-urnal descent to a spot they had irel'ully marked, in order there to collet a ich treasure on their own account unknown o their employers,?St. Pau's Muytuine. The District Schoolmaster. BY JOSH BILLINGS. There iz one thing in this basement world hat I look upon with mixt feelings of pity n d respect. There iz one man in the world to whom I lways take off my hat, and remain uncorcrd till he gots safely by, and that is the iissict schoolmaster. When 1 meet him, I look upon him is a nartyr just returned from the stake or on lis way to be cooked. lie leads a more loncsum and single life ban an old bachelor, mid a more auxkius me than an old made. lie is remembered just about as long and iffectionatcly as a gide boord iz by a trareln pack pcdler. Iff lie undertakes to make his scholarzluv lint the chances are he will neglect their urn in and iff he don't lick urn now and.tlicn iretty often, tlia will soon lick liiiu. The distrikt schoolmaster ain't got a friend in the flat side uv the globe. The boys mowbabb liini durin' recess, the gurls put #ater in his hair die. and the school comuiittec makes him work for half the money a bartender gits, and board him round the naborhood, where they give him rye coffy, sweetened with molasses, tew drink, and codfish balls three times a day for vittjes. Don't talk to me about tho paahuns uv the anshuntJobe. Jobe had pretty plenty nv / ' " ' \ fitt over hnn,^lat no doubt there wcr one breed. , rj young -one in a distrikt school iz a different' breed, and each youfig on a different kind of poultise tiigeti cai on him. y man who has kept a distrikt schoo years and has boarded around thi ood ought to be mager general,' inc penshun for hip rest of his natura ud a boss and waggin to do hiz goinf in. TbsMoral Effects of Boots. M. writer in CaaaeTa Magazine gossips [flat *Bad Boot* L jlt'Pli /% inilaiAnnA rvf a nnrtn f A vn m/1 4B 1 j jbl i nujnuucnvc ui uiwio upuu mc miuu is ISfy different from that of any other garjnit. A man may hare a shocking bad hat, Ff| he forgets,it; hie coat may be threadbare, jUMiifi mindjs not. greeted towards it; but man to-'stand upright in a pair of rtjemers with worn dofgubeels, agd w%,bebflre it is just as difflciiltodW^ morallywipj Mm in them., A-'ffense of meanness poi-' In. He cartnot look peqjS&n?the face i?. ^e'' ufon ?juVe He ink the weakness'of his fimriatioi^and fajAiistrusts the character of imjWt^brsurae-i ti| they support, however imposnt^hvipier rieots. A man shabby in the bootfcSsomotiJes ' flatters himself that he carries off itttftiod from them hy the use of a splendid tJk-tie; lathis is a.-^elusion and a snare. boots Itfe the key of the position, and wCeel su re that no man ought to undertake gmnerious matter unless he stands up in a gopj sound pair of bootB, * a celebrated physiologist has said that if hut) in actions could be searched into, it wofd be found that the intestines of one toi^often influence the destinies of another. P#btless this is a profound remark, but it apties to upper and nether soles as well as Waigcsfcton. By way of argument, imagine iltfr^inal charge of the Guards of Waterloo naoe in Dau doom. it wouia nave Deen an req^' well for the great Buko to have said, 'U^'Guords, and at 'en;" but could they lavej got at them ? And if they bad failed, ind ijve bad lost Waterloo, what next and f^xtt But, badinage apart, no one will' feel we suppose, to deny the influence *3?rmind upon the body and vice versa. ^fliraaoote are hopelessly gone, shame seems O hnjc departed also. What terrible bad ?Mt$.Wfi'see crossing-sweepers folbwing their lions in. But these are put on souieexcite pity. We feel this, and the F^iost upon ys. But is *here a more with a boot gn writer, rtie prac^PBPB^WI^^wnere the poor mainly apply, can safely say that not a tithe of this class possesses sound boots. Hidden nnder the petticuats, they are allowed to wear out until the feet arc sometimes on the ground, and the wearer's stockings are from morning to night, in wet weather, in a state of slop. "This may seem a minor evil, but it is just the one that causes half the disease among poor women, whose constitutions render them far less able to bear cxposuro of this kind than the other sex. There are clubs and benefit societies of all kinds but we cannot fancy an institution that woud do more immediate and lasting good than a "Good Boot* Club" for the benefit of women. We may ascend high in the social scale, and find the same evil prevailing, many pour governesses and servants are badly shod. It is just the weak point in their dress which they can hide, and thoy invariably do it, whereas it lies at the foundation of their health and th'at of their children and it should claim their first attention. We laugh at the cluttering of the wooden sabot of the German aiid French working classes, but in comparison to the fiimsy, ill-made foot coverings our own poor indulge in, they are more healthy and lasting but fashon, even with the poor is far more powerful, we fear, than consideration of health or service. "We have raid enough toshow ttiut "bad boots" may be considered one of those social evils of the day worthy of recognition. It was the wish of one of the best French kings, that every poor man should have a fowl in his put. If wishes had the power of fulfilling themselves, it would be a good wish thai every poor woman had a sound pair of boots to her feet. If that wore the case, there would be far less disease., and half the dis pensary doors in town would be closed. Worthy op Note.?About twenty years ago the Smithsonian Institute embarked in a series of experiments testing the practicability of neutralizing the poison of snakes, founded purely on a chemical basis, which developed great results. The fact was illustrated that the poison of the most venomous rattlesnake cau be neutralized in an incredibly short time. After the most extraordinary results from all the experiments witnessed, there was promulgated from the Institute, at the time above mentioucd, the following simple but certain cure for snake bites, and for the stings of all kinds of insects; thirty grains of iodine potassium, thirty grains ol iodine, one ounce of water; applied cxterally to the wound by saturating lint or batting? the same to be kept moist with the antidote until the cure is effected, which will be ir an hour, and sometimes instantly. The limb bitten should be corded tight to prevent circulation. The liquid should be kept in a vial with a glass stopper. This simple remedy cau be obtained at any drug store, and costs but a trifle. Every family might keep a vial of it ready at hand Fruit gatherers may feel some security ir having it about them. Hunters and fisher men may not flu4* it incovenicnt togofortl: thus prepared for "mishaps of the hour." Farmer's Ilomc Journal e Tattlers.?Every cotSmai^ey l^fcursod by the presence ofd^hws of.' ? ho a make it their businessro'tfltend to oyeryboe dy's affairs Wt thew^S^n/ Sudli ^teople are a the poorest specimens pf:Aj|tMBfcyhicli exiflt'tipwi this blighted earafijgpfpi well 1 known that almost' evcr^'pffijais sou.e3 times disposed to speak evil o? others, and L tattKng is a sin from which very few can I Iclaim to be entirely exempt. But tbfrobject of speak of that etlyfrom^gentlraian to' lady^ from mother to father to son, and in the ears t of all the bitter whispers of elan- a dcr-hmfabiise, and, at tbe same time, pretend to bb the most sincere friends of those they talk to. Their nauseas pills of slander 8 are sngar-coated with siriilca and words of r friendship. 0 Tattlers are consigned to no particular class, and they operate in all. We find them f among the rich, and the poor?"upper ten" tl and the "lower million," in the church and r out of it. They are people who have no high- g er ambition than to be well informed in regard toother people's private business, to retail scandal to their neighbors, and to exult j. in fiendish triumphs over the wounded feel- y ings and bruised hearts of their innocent vietims. i (? 5 vV* * . rh How to See Under Water.?-The In- ti dians of North America do this by cutting g a hole in the ice and then covering or hang* ^ ing a blanket in such a way a* to darken u or exclude the direct rays of th? sun, when they are able to see and discover fish at any reasonable depth. Let any one who is anx- ~ ious to prove thip place himself under the j,c blanket and he will be astonished wljen he , beholds with what brilliancy everything in Cl the fluid world is lighted up. I once had w occasion to examine the bottom of a mil) pqpd, for which I constructed^ float out of 01 inch plank snfiicient to bony-pie up; through a articles. I would suggest that this experiment be tried on the sea; for I am satisfied that with a craft like the Great Eastern, where an observatory could be placed at the bottom with sufficient darkness, by the aid of glasses we could gaze down into the depths of the sea the same as we can survey the IkAAVfAnn nt m l/lm f ovurrjr ucavcijo au uuuui^uv, Correspondent Scientific American. Turning a Galvanic Battery into a Detective.?Many years ago Major Stone, of the Fifteenth British Quasars, then stationed in India, had a gold watch and chain stolen front bis drawing-roout table. Collect, ing all the nativo servants, of whom he had any suspicion, together, and making them join hands, he told them that presently his God would give them a shock which would, however, be harmless to all but the culprit; but that, if be were among them, he would, in about an hoar, tarn green and silently die. The black fellows grinned incrcduousI ly, when the wire of a very powerf ul battery, ; prepared and concealed below the table, were brought in contact with the two end men. So severe was the shock three of them fell to the ground. The Major then remarked that if the guilty one came to him , within half an hour he would apply an antionm vita lifa tvia pffant i UUIC W 111V.II iruuiu w<v uin iiiv. ??v vv?. of the shock upon the imagination of the superstitious thief was so great as to induce belief in the prospect of turning green, and I dying, and ho came, watch and chain in handj to beg for mercy and the antidote. Recently, a similar attempt by a policet man, in India, to brinj* a woman to the con. fcssional was not so satisfactory. The woman . died through fright, and the policeman was i brought to answer a charge of homicide. . Fashions for the Ladies :?Nearly all sleeves are made open. . Very wide braid of velvet is used for bind- ' i ing street costumes. i No jewelry whatever on the streets, is the latest rule for ladies. , The fashionable color, known as "London 1 i smoke," is very populan The double-breasted jockey jacket is some- < i thing new, and also very neat. < Overskirts, with a number of points, are i ' to be fashionable this season. i , Many ladies have become crippled from ! ; wearing the French high heels. 1 ; A1 the new veils for brides aro trimmed 1 i with vines of lillies of the valley. 1 r Our great grand mothers' styles of hair- 1 f dressing is coming into fashion. ' Jet trimmings has come in fashion again, . and is used very much on cloaks and cloth 1 i custouies. ?/, ] I I i The royal infant, Fred. Grant, is to be ] . sent to Europe in charge of Gen. Sherman, ( i as bonne or" child's nurse. By a pleasant little artifice he is to receive $135 per i month, with an additional allowance of ten i r cents for every mile traveled. This, in the . opinion of his economical papa, will about i l defray the expense, and thus the royal in. fant's education will receive its finishing i touch at Government expense. A good man is always good to his children. 'Bah for Grant. * ' ;7c : . '-. % <;*7L. ' " fi'm '*$' ;- xLw_ . -'->. . . ^u- 'Xr-r S89B ' " ' ;? ADVERTISING HATK8. . Spacf.. _ i 1M. 2 M. 3 M. 6m| '.. squaro 8 00 6 0< 8 00 12' 00 16 0bdS| V -urnrra 6 00 9 0( 12 00 18 00 28 00 3 squares 9 (X 13 (X 16 00 24 00 85 00 ^squares 1% O 16 01 20 00 80 00 48 00 h column 15 00 1'9 0( 24 00 84 OW 60 00 . l.ebMmn 20 00 80 00 40 00 65 OOl 80 00 >< ONBOIudui 30 00 60 0- 60 00 90 00160 00 - '-v AM transient Advertisements will bo charged Ojtk Doritan per Square far the first and Bavix tt-fivk Cents per 8quare for each subsequent insertion. V 3?ieealilli. ? * r? : - ir. Dark age*?ladies' ages. Barbers make many friends, bat scrape more acquaintances. A Colorado store-keeper solaces his cttetomers with FyNeKUT 2 bak 0. - ' '.f' , When California miners hnbide, they ealLifc "putting in a blast." Charity begins at home; a Wisconsin jus^ v?*-.. -7 See has granted himself a divorce.. < r- , * ~ i: * - Two women are partners in the law new'm Kansas. They are sisters-in-law Two lotfta lovers kissed one anothef so emphatically ^hat their horse ran away and tfnjt&fcthemoufc^f the carriage. . y-'CrEntire lace will constitute an important ladies' wear and papa's swear this v SVidter.?Boston Post. *Usittg tmtfi*with penttriocs frugality" is ;he latest attempt at calling a man you lie vlfclmufc hurting bis feelings. A Georgia negro fainted away and was estored to consciousness by a friend, who wtbed his forehead with a buggy trace. . qjS ;? - Fifty young widows reside in the small.fw own of Ceutreville, Ind., and it b unsafe n unprotected man to pass thro' there.; . The man who earns a dollar ?a day ao&jnfl pen da the same, comes to the end of his Jl|3 ' opevon Sunday, when he musteither starvo ' r go a visiting. A Bostonian, who did Mount Washing on /^| Dot lust year, has informed the Transcript * hat he got as ravenoos as a raven among the avines, and sat down in one of the gorgeous t> ^ orgea and gorged himself. What can be wetter than a woman with a ataract in her eye, a waterfall on her head. >rty springs in her skirt and hightiedshoes'/ ? Vh'y, one with a notion in Her head, and wimming in tears. /A new stvle of obituarv item?brief hnt' ?the point?has been invented thu : "Jolyi New York, revolver';" " k Jen. ins, of Philadelphia, third-story window;" Ann Jones, of New Jersey, laudanum." Greeley's receipe for preserving peaches: . ^ ut in strips not less than fifteen inches >ng spread them oat on the grass to bleach ?r three dajfs: and finally sprinkle with innamon, ai|l pack in air-tightjars filled with A stranger recently got shaved in one of M or barber jrhops, and reujarking that y j . near^ at steak. An exchange tells ns that "twenty years agoLenand Stanfo.d arrived in California with only one shirt to his back. S ace then, by close attention to business, he has contrived to accumulate over ten millions." What the deuce can a man do with ten million shirts? A Rochester, N. H., man was the victim of a funny act of absent-mindedness the other day. . He was on his way to leave town, aird when he got to the station he happened to think that he had left his watch behind. He instantly took his watch from his pocket to see if he had tiuio to return and get it. A young man at Holly Springs, Miss., recently volunteered to aid in taking up the collection at one of the churches there, and succeeded in raising a considerable sum. He approached the door, and was about to go out with bis hat full of contributions on his head, when the minister said solemnly,. ' Young man, if you leave hero with that money, you'll be damned." 1 he young man, ,< however, left in a hurry, and, as he,shut thee f door behind him, a worthy old bachelor, with ' a voice in F sharp, who put a dollar in the \ hat, piped out to the minister, '-Well, if_he ain't gone with it, i7/be damned V Hire an offiss on the main street ov the village, and stay in the offiss. When yu do go out, always go on the jump. l)on't never talk much on cnny subjek, but always look kusscd.mysterious. Seldom go tew church, but when yu do alwuz leave before the church duz. Charge everybody, like thunder and lightning. If yu phollcr these rules clrsvly and don't Bucceed.yu can cum tew the konklusion that the doktrinc bizness ain't so good as it wuz' last year.?Josh Billiiujs. . -J The Pueblo (Colorado) Chieftain gives a- ^ " funny account of a Chicago newspaper man who stopped in the flourishing young city ofl" Greeley, and being at hirst, tried in vain to V; jet a square drink. '-Ho went up one street * ?nd down another, ho turned the corner of llleys, ho sprung over ditches, he explored. J-" iheds and out-houscs, but the fluid for which his soul yearned could nowhere bo found." He went hnp-hazard into one building which he thought might be "a saloon," and encounteped a prayer-meeting.? [n another hall he found a farmer's club. Finally, he received trustworthy information that '"there was not a drop of liquor in the place." lie left, and wrote to his journal that the town of Greeley was "without inhabitants. without resources, and without commerce." Fires.?Incendiary fires occurred in Chattanooga on Sunday morning, destroying a block and a half of the business part of the city. The loss is estimated at 875,000. A fire occurred in Charlotte, N. C., on Thursday last, destroying about a bloek o? the business portion of the towiv. Loss. about $35,000, of which 825.000 wa& cov<hvjM| cd by insurant^ .