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This is not the 6tory of a king, but of at humble peasant girl ; the Bccne is not laid iu a camp, but in a village, at a time when Bonaparte's wars had not yefrgiveu to the simple u*mn of Berna dette (Jittle Bernard) tho historic glow ?which, still surrounds it. A niau and his wifo had an ouly daughter, and they were s> proud ol her ?th?e <ho had scarcely come iuto the world when they began to think of hot marriage .Th.o.man, (aboring with the greatest pernevorance, sought to accum ulate for her one of thos?! attrnetiv? -.aillNyi?? la^-inate rich_ Younu bachelors; tho wile seconded his eTTofts a i courageously, grubbing iu the ground all day nnd scheming all night, con .stautIY preparing the bride's outfit, that she loll sick aud died, uot being willing to call iu the doctor, that she might save the cost of the rouicdies. Father Hugh, left alone with his ?daughter, was only the more anxious to aave ;t son-in-law, some sturdy laborer possessing a competence, one who would iusuroboth the prosperity of his house "iftlTfhe happiness of bis beloved Eer nadotto. When she got to be eighteen years -ace there was no lack of suitors. Father Jlufjh o^rcd to his avarice the reputa tion of a ir-an in easy circumstances; ?on* who had cleverly turned his pennies ito"account by making short loam* nt a ?rate of interest uot sanctioned by the ^ code; but all young mcu wishing to marry took very good care not to re proach him with auy infraction, of the atatute; the siu would remain with the father-in-law, nnd the profits with the grandchildren; ho they rubbed their bauds and repeated the universal pro verb, 'Tis an ill wind that blows no Bernauotte, worthy of her si/.o in economy sod iu activity, trudged to towu every forenoon to sell her c!r.? k ;n*. "?""*"*?05?"- "- ^"^ .|1?V*U?'|J *? CM countered yonug Micoutet, tho plough man, wlio would drive up his oxen to the end of the furrow by the roadside, ? ml keep them standing d long time to ;bid her good morning, and to chat with her about the rain, and the Gue weather, nnd the chickens, and the cows, and the growing corn, and tiio beans that wore about drying. Bcmndottc, no matter what might, be her haste to got to mar ket, always had n few moments to spare for her taikutiyo little friend, and even after leaving him to go b>tek repeatedly to answer, as far as he. could make her henr llj'tm, the last kind words which he .sent after her over (he hedges. Arrived at the market place, the first customer whom Bernndotle usually found there was the young baker, Cas tcrcz, who, under the pretext of exam ining her eggs and fruit, prolonged t he conversation a full hour, praising the bright foiitherK of the chickens, their re mark a Lie plumpness, und bestowing u thousand compliments on tho clever housekeeper who knew how to get them iuto such a nice condition. Passing from words to acts, he would bargain for the entire lot, appear perfectly satis ficd with the price, and carry tho banket off to hit; shop, whero tlfe fuir merchant always found some refreshments and a ?couple of nice iaiis garnished with sweetmeats. V Bermulotte, on returning Imme from market, ligbtcued of .Jher load, pus-ed before the shop of the. hairdresser Fir* niin, a youug damjy us frizzled and smoothly shav&l as belittle St. John tb^^roccsst?W^tho%c/? Die?. M. /-fFjrntrn* had jujtt Completed- his tour HBKToyBh Fi'ftnco,fsWstinted on a handsome I sign Iii. big letters, adorned with a pair I uT- pcisBfjrs ond a razor, after the- fashion of a bernldio shield stumped with a double device. . *?eigh! Beruadotte,' exclaimed the artistic? barber, 'have you any eggs to sell mo to-day ?' Beruadotte nodded affirmatively. She had been careful to conceal a dozen from the wholesale buyer, Csstorez, purpost.lv to have some left fur M. Firmin. Pru denco is the mother of certainty. Mi I coutet was undoubtedly very attentive. Caslcrcz very devoted, but M. Fiimit: was no Uss ugrccuble, und nobody knew wbut might happen. Tho eggs were accordingly handed to M. Firmin, who fuuud thoir freshness worthy of her who- brought them. Far from attempting to abate the price, he added to the money be gave her a small flask of lavender water or cake ofseeut ed sonp. He wanted to know bow Fath er Hugh was, and nil about Barqncttc, the cow, whose excellent milk ^maintain ed tho rosy hue of the milker's cheeks, and about the sheep providing th* wool with which to kuil those pretty stockings so snugly fitting those little feet. M. Firmin, iu bis tour through France, bad become very impertinent; bis prcsump tion might have offended the young rus tic had not her interests obliged her to dissimulate, and to be somewhat tolerant. He asked her to bring him eggt the next day, und butter every time isb> emptied her oburi] ; and notwith.statid; iug bis impertinence?a fault in young tncu which young girls often complain of to satisfy their consciences?llerna agreeable as be wss attentive. M icon tot the ploughman, was daily in ; tho field, no mull r what might be the state of the weather, and ttt the earliest liuur. because he could not sleep in hi.s suxicty to see daylight and Bern id >Ue ; and he became so worn out by this way uf living, that ho resolved to gel back both bis sleep and usual traiiqiulity. He betook himself to the father of her who hud robbed him of his reposo, and. cap in hand, with downcast eyes and a stammering voice, spoie to him for a long time sbout Bernadette, praising her vigorous arms, made for work, and tV.e good health apparent in every form and feature, and iiually demanded her baud. Father Hugh did not say yes, and still less 110. He knew lull well the val ue of thn.-e little words of low letters ; like Iiis c lins, be would not let thetu go without cortaiti guaranteed of their being proper)} placed. LIo put off the young man to the follow ng Sunday, ami. in the men-mime, communicated the propo sal to bis d tugbter. 'Micontet is it very nice young man,' said Beruadotte. '1 stop and talk with him every morning on passing hi-* farm He bus line oxen, good fields and an ex cellent vineyard. Castorcz, the baker, however, appears also to good advantage; | I -._?1 - - ? t- - . .? -I.I ? .. . v . 'Castcrez, tba b..k? r I' replied Father Hugh, in a reflective mood. 'By Our Lady, there is always bread ou a baker's counter V * A11 ? 1 tarts on the dinner table," added ! ternadottc? 'L will find out, my child, what the baker means before; deciding.' 'His meaning, lather, is plain enough. Ho buys every morning all ihm 1 tuk ? to town, and without higgling about the price, plcasa you. ii" L were to a*k him double, be Would not make (be slightest object ion. 'Without higgling about tho pric? repented Father Hugh, who did nol do business in that way. 'That young fel low is very much smitten ! We Will look into the matter, Hernadott?:; and it his granary and bis purse are as well stocked with flour and eubh us bis benlt seems to be with love, we will try to make some arrangement*.' father Hu^h Btrodooff to town to HOC the baker, who, delighted with ibis pro ceeding, showed himself deeply enamor ed. ?Which of the two?' exclaimed . .ib cr Hugh to hituself. 'Tho thing Works well. ; We'will'act tbera to competing; goods in demand increase "in value.' Ho returned home, and connnuoicat ing the baker's featiuients to bis, daugh ter, promised her to ?decide quicntfjg whieh of the two i^would be the best.to marry. 'The baker is a, very nice young man,' .said Bernadette, tbe same as she had said of the ploughman Micoutet, 'but there is another, the hairdresser Firmtn. He buyssms ething uf ine every day, und keeps me an hour, talking about lifs tour through France, the yurn my stockings are made of, aud my good milch cow. He assures me that be has never s^en nuy ouo more eugagitig than she whom he has the pleasure of looking at when ho looks at me.' 'The coinp!iiiieut.-> of a barber!' in terposed Father Hugh. 4Ev ,-rybody knows what they are worth ! No mat ter?the work progresses; competition among thrcB makes tho profit all the greater! Wo will ><?>? tue hairdresser; my dear, ami find fittf \ ii >t ? expect from iiis admiration.' Hugh ;'gain returned to town, whore' he had an interview with M. Finnin; aud, ns he knew that the larger the coin pany o{ buyers the more active the bid ding, he invit'd each of the competi tors to come to his house the following Sunday alter inuSs. 'Humph J' he muttered to himself, as he canvassed the situation, 'the plough' mau courts my daughter, but without neglecting his work or spending a farth ing; tH% baker is doing the same thing, loitering about the market place, aud spending his money to win tho skIcs woman; the barber ovcrwholmns Borna dotte witji fulsome compliments ami trifling presents. There is no hurry things can he cleared up aud the char ttcters of these galluuls tested, to make them solve one of my riddles.' Wluu Sulid. y came Uernadotte made herself look as beautiful as the virgin queettufu Sfitj tlay fc.viv.il. She put on her best Scotch muslin cap, Calico, *. clticoat, red oilon handkerchief an i morocco sht'os. and awaited the appear ....(? ? of her-aiioii. who, on presenting tie-in Oivesj i"' e"fat !?er\vT-uiTT::t l'iTxiWi?? terms : 'You three wish to provido a husband lor m\ daughter, and you all cherish t!i ? same object. A custom obligeshor to r- j<.c; two in the selection of one; s ie must proceed cauti msly in thi> ever- uu certain lottery, livery sub dar who goes to college passes five or si< yours iu as certaining whether he will wear the Ulli form Ol a soldier, the robes of u law) er, or that of :i doctor; A young gill may be excused if she asks eight days to deeite what kind of a nooao ?he will put around her neek. Come back here next Sunday, my friends, in your1 best attire; I am a little particular in the iuterests of my dear lleriiadotte, and I have always I . oomcwhat superstitious 1 in ti.e matt r of tidiness. Vou must not i he surprisi ii if you set? mo give in) daughter to tho one fc/cu shall sh uc nit //<?' whitest ho nth." Father Hugo uttered these lust words wiih marke 1 iuiphusis. Micotilcl was almost ready to die with griet. Winking iu the Quids |iud iuadc Iiis bunds drier than so much pumice ?tone. The baker, and barber, on the contrary, always working in butler or soap, had hands us soil as the satin folds i of a d uehe.-s's dress. i iio-i.-.-r.-.r.'Vr-.-r-f.s.;',- ?? asida, regarding tbe forthcoming strug ?lo us calculated only for oi \ gallants ! fhu latter, uiiiuiutcd by rtjtialiy well- ' lotiuded hopes, spent toe w . I? in ctt.ug their hands in proper i umiiiou, using | uii'iuent- tifiho most mollifying char e \ tor, and they became us fragrant and as ! wh to :n p >ss '?ie, which stimulated their I pride to tho highest d igroo. Micoutet had UOt even the courage to wash his hands iu tho brook, so interior tiid he regard himself to ihesu town geutry. Iiis grandfather Simon' per fectly familiar with the world ever since he hud stumped through it on his old crutches, and who was covertly regard iug Iiiiii through bis white eyelashes, comprehended his cmban\nsinoiit und cams to his {resistance. ?Micoutet, my boy,' said he. huodi ;. him u little gray bag covered with du l. ?put th.it in your p i kol ami keep v-atr appointment at Katlior Hugh's. When the time comes to show .your hands, plunge them into this bag, and tilt (hem ' with the unguent it contains.' 'But, gr.iudi.ither. ill.) ski i is us dark ami uoai'su ns tho bark of au oid iree. How can you?--?" 'Follow uiy ndv/ice, my Mj. The washbull I gave to you is ao fcfficacioua, that the most obdurate spots t$U ?ot re sist its action. Its use is of "*<try aneiant date, and time has fitJt diai&ushcd its virtue.' Micoutet took tho soap-bajr, and re sorted to Bornudotte's houfe^The baker and the barber were nofentr behind him. , Casd-rez first showed InM&gers; they wero whiter (bun the b$gnom of the dogrosc. The hair-dresser theu dis played bis. und tbey luukc?'fi fresh aa a lily but just iu bloom. ty?iow came Micoutet's turn. Firmin af|d Custerea began to laugh as be drc|* his bnge hands from his pickets aqdybeld them forth \vh".n Father Hugh jittered a cry of admiration, lor they W0i|) filled with bright and beautiful crown. ? A b * mv b-?y. that is -die real dura bio whiteness which I lotiaT Beruadotte i> \o;:c . Ii.r you have com*;ed her with in b-ti\i--u your field, ?t)l you know ih" wii.tcness most appreciated in the i an.; ol a soti-iu-law.' >? The two abashed aud we candidate* returned to their shopsiifith their cars banging lower than a horad after losing a bare. Beruadotte and jfieoutct good nature lly invited them totheir wedding fand they bad wit eno|S*h to go, as townsmen hardly ever. iAglect to enjoy what is good in tbjg&welliug of a disdained peasant. TnVhappy couplo, happy as everybody nEgrith as much money us good temper, iwored through out their lives to swojjyne coatcuts of the soap bag, the gift of their venerable ?ruudfather. A TILUILLING INCIDENT. In 1S43 a nroumaW?pe occurred iu tho city or New Orlwr whioh at the time created an cxciteMOt that affected the entire popuhitioQ^kq old merchant highly eouuected, fffljfftj aud uf dis tiuguished social, pfjjgtin. one uight mysteriously disapjflNH,. 'Iiis family v.?o e in inten.-!! ?-Ii.ii: ..e*? and bis ousi ness hi dis iidcr. licfgjft his store at a _'itf in 'if 'l>'^ '^iiaj?i_jl_.1' '"' " ' ' 'u before uoing, coutrary to bis usual prac tice, put into his pocket a large sum of ui nicy. Mis way led along Peters street, ou the bank of tho river, but far down iu the Thild district of tho city. His life uia? have been sacrificed and bis body thrown into the flood that rolled at his feet Police regulations at that time were bad, and, and crimes of this de scription were not unfrcqueutly pcrpc tluted. A little way back from the street was a ruinous building, half tum bling to decay, and inhabited by a num ber oi p uplc, men and women iuured in vice and living by robbery. Among the bank notes "Mr. Crosby was known to possess was one for S?0U with the word ''Canal" written on tho buk The rest wcreol various denomi nations ?nd with peculiar identity. Mr 1- mid myself visited the residence of the missing man, at. the re quest of his wife, and by her we were charged with the duly of tiAoingout and bringing to justice his supposed murders She Aas a tail elegant looking lady, of com natidiiig presence and great culture. ; li< wealth <?!' her rieh beauty and fine mind were inherited by her daughter, a scarcely tweu y. Tb? terrible be .... . . i.-.i i .1... _?...,?. ? r the m it her, but bad aroused tin; energy Ii i liio ol the young girl's nature. More like a beautiful Nemesis than an or litiary woman she appeared to us. As we entered the room sbo was in the act id consoling the mother. The long hla< k hair had escaped from its confine ment and bad illlllOat enveloped her per son in its ebony trcsaca Tho grcnl luminous eyes were tearful, but flashing sittd full of fire. The fae.o was d irk with thy blood of bei* Spanish race, bat the figure was queenly, slender and faultless to a model. Stalling up as wo entered the room, she inquired very hastily, and almost fiercely I t nought? 'Arc you the detectives?' ?We arc,' and I mentioned our names. T must speak to you in private,' she said, and led the way to an adjoining a pa i Uncut. ?What do you think of the matter,' she asked when out of bearing of her mother. ?As yet an opinion would be mete guess work,' i replied. ?.Nevertheless 1 have come to one. 1 have no doubt that he was murdered ami tb.it lhe deed was committed some where near the old ruinous building near the river.' 'Some such Idea lias cross-d my mind, bat there is no trace as yet which can lead to the proof of it.' 'We will find it out, rest assured, she said, and to this end you must co-operate with me, and now listen to what 1 huro to say. To-night at 12 o'clock precisely do you two visit tho old building. I will be there. Ask for tbe young woman who applied at nightfall to them for shelter. Let your object be, apparently, to arrest her.' 'But I do not understand.' 'But you will. I am going there at dark, disguised as a beggar girl. By the time you come my iuformation will have been collected.' 'I will read tho guilty secret,' she said If tbe criniiual is there, however deep in his heart he may bury it. Strange us it may appear, I made uo attempt to dissuade her from her purpose I could not understand. I felt as if the beautiful creature exercised over me a magnetic control. Those acquainted with the city nt tb'iB period can form seme idea of the danger of tho plot we had formed. To us it was a matter of daily occurrence. But fir the young girl, inexperienced and tenderly nursed, to thrust herself into the very house of the unscrupulous and desperate wretches who wcro sus pected of this crime, was simply appall ing. It would not do, however, to go to the place before the hour appointed for our coming, for that would defeat the object in view. It was therefore with many a misgiving nud uneasiness but poorly concealed, we bided our time. But wa determined to be there at the very moment, and the clock was on the stroke of midnight when we knocked at the door. The outside jof the house gare no signs of life within. The shut ters were securely fastened, and no ray of light penetrated the datkness; but mufiled sound of voices reached our ears until our knocks hushed them to a whis per. There was a momentary hesita tion, as if counseling together, aud theo tho dour was opened wide. It was a log lotiw room, dusty and brown from hge. About a dozen per sons were seated urouud, but euery eye was turued to the door. Two men had risen to their feet uud stood in an atti tude which might mean defence, betere the fireplace; but the object that attrac our attention was a young girl sitting in the corner of the apartment. Her face was as dark as a gypsy's, and the long hair hung loose on her shoulders; her dress was a poor material ragged and unclean. Patches and rents ha I almost changed its hue aud disguised its texture. She seemed too thinly olad for that cold night, and her aleuder frome shivered as if from cold us tho chill air from the open door swept in. 'What do you want?' was the stern questiou addressed to us by one of the men at the fire. Before 1 had time to reply the girl sprang to her feet and spake instead:?"Arrest these men!' Her voice was low, but her face flashing on the light of the fire, was that of the Nemesis I had seen that day. There was a short fierce struggle, and the men were in our power. The girl then walked to a placj in the floor, and touched a concealed spring lifted a trap door. She hub: Mr. I. lift the box that lay iu the hidden place. The lid wa* ..-..(V nnA in.it wer? the old merchant's money, papers and pocket book. With tho money was found the hill and word ?(.'anal,' written across its back. It w if not long before the mon con fessed their crime. The old muti had been murdered aud his body thrown into the river. The daughter accomplished her mis sion. She had carried out her design and traced to their hiding places the. proofs ol the murderers' crime. It is useless to state what followed Long years have fled since then, und the Ne measis is yet among the living. Beauti ful still, there arc many hearts to grow glad at her smile and share with her tho joys of the home she charms. 'Mother,' said a little boy, 'I've got a bad headache and a sore throat, too.' 'Well, you shall have sum* medicine,' said the mother. 'It's no matter,'retorted the shrewd urchin, 'I've got 'cm?but they don't hurt me.' Coming to grief?Meeting trouble half way. Cool Customer*. A philosopher thus discourses on cool people : I huvo read of people who were too calm aud complacent. Of such a cha aotor, I think, was the conductor who, when he run over a man, said he never liked to do it, because 'it mussed up the track so.' And speaking of saws, and following up this train of thought, I may mention a young man from the couuty who went into a hardware store, and, rapping a great buzz-saw with his knuckles re marked : 'I had an old dad ripped to pieces with one of them fellers last week.' I think that young man exhibited too little emotion for tho occasion. It show ed a lack of filial affection only compara ble to that of a boy belonging to a pri mary school in Manchester, X. II., who assured his schoolmaster that he would soou be aide to indulge iu his favorite sport on the river with the boat of them. 'Father,' said he, 'is going to wnr, and when he gets killed I'm going to have I his fish-line.' As cool a person, under the circum stances, as I ever heard of, was a youug nobleman who, iu a frightful railway ac cident, missed his valet. Oue of the 1 guards came up to him and said : 'My lord, we have fouud your servant, but he is cut in two.' 'Aw, is he ?' said the young man with a Dundreary drawl, but still with some anxiety depicted on his couatcnaucs. "Will you be good enough to see in which halt he has got tho key of my carpetbag V To a sensitive mini his anxiety seems to have been misplaced. The same unconsciousness to the aw ful aspects of death wai exhibited by a man in New Jersey in 135 4, who was employed to convay to his friends tbe bedy or a Mr. Wilson, who had died about fifty miles fron h>ms, of .the cholera. Ou finding the house, he kuoeked at the door, an 1 tho wife of the deceased opened it. ?Docs Mr. Wilson live here ?' 'Yes,' said the lady ; 'but he is not at home to-day.' 'No, T know he ain't,' said the young uian with a aoothiu : voice, thinking to break the news gently ; 'but ho will be in a minute, 'causo I've got him here dead in my wagon.' There was a still more reprehensible moral obtuseness in the remark of a man who ioqaircd of a sheriff tho night ba fore the appointed day : 'I say, Mr. Sheriff, at whit hour doaa this littlu affair of mine conie oil?' Lovk, Fortune, or Position.? Who marries for love, takes a wife; who marries for fortune takes a mistress; who marries for position, takes a lady. You are loved by your wife, regard-id by your mistress, tderate I by your lady. Vmi have a wife far yourself, a mistress (or your house and friends, a lady for the world and society. Your wife will agree with you, your mistress will rule you, your lady will manage you. Your wile will take care of your household, your mistress of your house, your lady of your appearances. If you are sick, your wife will nurse you, your mistress will visit you, your lady will iuquirc after your health. You take a walk with your wife, a ride, with your lady. Your wife will share your grief, your mistre-s your money, and your lady your debts. If you die, your wife will s.'ccp, your mistress 1 uncut, :iud yoat lady will wear mourning. Which will you have '! One of our citizens went to the c^rs to see his daughter off. Securing htr a j s at, he passed out of the cars and went ??ound to her window to say a parting word, .is is frequently dono on such occasions. While be was passing out the daughter left the seat to -peak to n friend, aud at the same time a prim looking lady, who occupied the scat with her, moved vip to the window. Unaware of the important changes in side, our venerable friend hastily put up his face to the window and hurried ly exclaimed, lJOno more kiss, sweet pet." In another instant the point of a blue cotton umbrella caught his seduc tive hps, followed by the passionate injunction, "Seat, you grny-headed Wrote' " and he scattered. Foolish Song?Stupid dittj. Josh Billings Papers. Tbarc are people who don't do any* tliinrr hut writch thsir siG^ptciiiS. X ^**^^ seen dogs ackt just as sensible, hav Mia a rat-tarrior watch tl.3 siuiploins ef * knot hole, in a board fenoe all day, tot some rat tew cum out, but no rat didn't cum out.' I am rather favorably impressed with (iin nud Milk, az nn extrakt, and think a minister ov the gospel mite contend with sum ov it, ou the sli, successfully, but when he cums to rekommend it teTV biz people, I hare mi doubts about it, unless bo knows hii people better than J[ do. Lore haz a most voracious appctight, KmI ?) m\nr /I i ?>?>c? >/>m ? u Knl if fna.la nn - ? - " I- ?-Q t ?" ? ~~" most always distresses it. It iz our duty to pray tor them who revile and persekute us, but I don't Icuo as we are obliged tew let them kno it. It iz hard tew quit play while we an vf inning. It iz just so in morals, mom seldom undertake tew git religion ai long az they kan git enny thing else. A dandy in luv iz in just about as bad a fix az a stick ov molassis kandy that haz hall melted. When a doktor looks at me square in the faco and kant sec no money in me, then i am happy. Tbnrc might possibly be sum advan tage iu eutering a convent, if we could eskape from ourselfs, but go whare we will, we hi'.e tew keep company with one who iz kble tew to do us more hurt than cnuy boddy else. What iz the principal difference be* tween poverty aud ritchoa ??- poverty kan be better, and may be worse,?the difference iz in favor ov poverty. If I bad u boy whose hair wouldn't part in tho middle, i should bedew that hair with a parent's tear, and then gr? up the boy. 1I.\ i) II im Tu Eue.?A doctor htely informed bis friends, in a large company, that be bad been eight days iu the' country. 'Yes,'said one of the party; 'it had been announced iu the Times.' 'Ah,' Baid the doctor, stretching his ueck importantly ; 'pray in what terms V ' Well, us well as I can remember, ilk the following, 'There were last wsek 2T deaths less than the week before!' ' Is the sea board niude of beach ? Not a Miss -A pretty widow. The most famous of spears?Shakes* pea re. " A prickly pair?A porcupine and a hedge-hog. A bad stylii of Arithmetic?Division among families. Y,'ko was Richard III. before ho was "himself again ?" When|is a young lady like a whale? When she's poutiug. Can anything that is baleful be a blessing? Yes, a bal-jfall of cotton. Smoky?-Mrs. Gubbins says her hus band is exactly like a tallow candle, because be always will smoke when he is going ont. A n't it?Swedish brandy is said to be flavored with ants. That is not so bad as to have ants flavored with brandy. What is the difference bat ween a farmer and a b ittlc of whiskey??One husbands the corn, aud the other corns the husbands. Pudding and tart?Au old philoso pher bath said, '"The woman that mak etb a good pudding in silence is better than one that m&fccth a tart reply." The mate?"Arc you the mate of the ship ?" asked an emigrant of the cook, who was an Irishman.?"No, sir," wss the reply; "I am the uiao who cooks the mute. Wholesale doctoring?A doetor, who was arrested because his patient died, has been acquitted on the ground that be did tho best ho could, giving all the medicines he kucw tho names of. "Do you call that a veal cutlet, wai ter? Why, it is au insult to every true calf in the country." "I didn't mean to insult, you, <sir." "How did you learn that graceful attitude ?" said a gentleman to a drun ken fellow, leaa'ng in a maudlin fashion against a post. "I have beeu practising at a glass" was tha reply. A pretty, rich young widow was re garding hcrsolf iatciy at a mirror 10 her chamber, while for the first timo trying on her widow's cap. "Behold* she cx claimed, "the real cap of liberty."