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- r-.- . ?ss*? * i>r--;i-YTrirfT m--r iTT-nry tt^-t.,- --vi^. Im & .1?-... ! ?Wi tri ? Ulli IP TWO DOLLARS PEK ANNUM, y GOD AND O Volume 5. saturday moe OUNTRY. , january 13, 1871 * -{ ALWAYS IN ADV AN*?* -.1 number: 48 , :$fi5 ORANGES (rttG NEW? -T:0:"7 PUBLISHED AT OK^isroE3XTti<3r Every Saturday Morning. by the ttRANGKlitlRd OO?PANY TEHM? OF rjUBSCRIPTIONi . . ' Copy for one year.::::: $2.00 " ?< ?? Six Months....- 1.00 A?y ono sonding TEN 13?LLARS, for a Oln? of Now Subscribers, will receive an EXTRA COPY for ONE YEAR, free of charge. Any ono sendinjr FIVE DOLLARS; (fir? a Club of Now Subscribers, will.rccdiTc ka EXTRA COPY for SIX MONTHS, free of w3?i' RATES OF ADVERTISING. I Square 1st Insertion. 21.50 ?? ?? 2d *? . 1.00 A Square consists of 10 lines Brevier or one inch of Advertising spaoe. Administrator's Notices. ............,?...$6 OD \Pwhiseal of~G?avnhnra, Attz ^ ?- ^inistrat'ers, Excetitors, *c.$0 00 Contrnet Advertisements inserted upon the most liberal tor ms. ?:o:? yiy, MARRIAGE and FUNERAL NOTICES, hot axesoding one Square, insorted without ?harga. Terms Cash in Advance. ?liv: ^w1.: POETRY; All for Money. What will not must people do, All for money ? Anything, 'twixt ma and you, All for money. Friond will turn his back on frieud ; Hnughty people have to bend, All tor money. As yon travel on through life. You will find it ever so? Nothing like the ready cash, ? For money 'makes the mare go. Some will swear tltht black is white, All for money; Do a wrong aud any it"" rifltt, j All for money. Moses ho will swear to yod His old clothes are gnVtd n.s ifdw j Don't he make them fit you' too*; All for money. Pretty girls enn love old'inert, All for money ; Even wod three score and ten. All for money. *T:s but a fool who ever drc-Miis That, any thing is what it seems ; The world is full of mocking schemes, All for money. Many people go to law All for money; Dentists nearly break ytrtrr jaw, All for money. Tradesmen givo you unJriSt weight, Beggars tease you, early, late, Garroters kindly on you wait, Q(Q All for money. Lawyers plead the felon's cause, All for money? Vow he lias not broke the lawn, All for money. Had he been on t'other sida, What a difference, and how wide To make him guilty he'd have tried, All for money. ' Don't the doctors physio you "' All for money ? i Give black draughts and blur" pill", All for money. iVhat their patience alt endure Any saint won't try, I'm sure- ? They are good to kill or cure, All for money. Chalk and-water milkmen sell, All for money, Something else, perhaps,- as well, All foi* mon'ey. > \f Athns I will conclude my Strain' With a sentence short and pluiu? Everything is done for gain? All for money. [communicated.] Manxatkb Village, South Florida, December 21st, 1871. ji/r". Erfilor : Owmg to u temporary absence, 1 huve be?'n* ffnnblo to comply with your request. I do not pretend to be n news paper scribbler,- but will make an effort to write a communica tion for your widely cinculated nnd Valuable paper. Being a native of Or ?Dgeburg District and acquainted with a goodly numbor of citizens of tho towu and country the receipt of tho Nkws, Jjsr during nearly the whole time of my residence here afforded mo bah interest and pleasure. It has been particularly gratifying to ma to observe tho steady prog, ess which your paper has' mado; *-id to-day, there are but few interior journals that can compete with youfi) in strength of advocacy for right princi ples, pith of editorial leaders, taste, in se lection of news items and neatness in mechanical execution. To a South Car olinian, "to trie u-anorboru," au innate pride and grati?catibu is always arouud, when reading so many Val?abl-J articles, so strongly conducivo to the welfare aud prosperity of tho "Old Palmetto Store." Under the now regime tho News has como firth liko a ''Phoenix from the ashes" and pointed to the people that course of wi?e and tempornte action' which alone can carry thum safely through tho discordaut oleinents which tower so thicutouingly over the ouco deathly of oflr d(*wn trodden and hu miliated people, but ??The web in the leaves the spider weaves, So like the ch nitl hope ????ngu ever anew ; For as oft as she sees tis broken by the breeze, She spins the bright tisouo again." But enongh of these unpleasant, mat. tcrs, n discussion of wlrch can lend to no political good ; aud especially so, wheu there are those who can perform the work with a master's hand. A fter the war, I started out to s?ek my for tune, with feelings akin to the "roaring lion seeking whom ho night devour,' and for several years have pitched my tont in tho tropic of Dixie, within a short distance of the far famed Ever glades, aud the former hunting grounds of the renowned and historic "Billy Bow legs ." Mauntcc, tie village, from wnieh 1 writo, is situated six miles up the beau tiful river ofthat name, with a prospec tive stretching out to the Mexican Gulf, a tributary of Turn pa Bay, so fa mous to the extensive readers of Dr. Goldings celebrated story of "The Voting Mardoners." 'JYra Ceia, Surasota and other beautiful hays mo Contiguous. aln un<lni'_' in all ktuda at* tho pi-out.u iul, j tribe, and curiously wrought shells, spread out amidst that ovorehanging tropical landscape, to tho soft and dreamy atinrifcpln-rc of this far off South, crn pcuinsualar. To a South Carolin, ian, everything carries on its face n de ?ree of iiovi hy ; the wafers, the shore, the praties ami the lorcst, all widely differ in appearance, from tho same ob jects in mote Northern latitudes. The j ein 11;11 surf washing the never receding shores, Somit) iti iti anthem, night after aight reminding iJIic of those im mutable lines "Roll on thou dark and deep blue Oecun roll." The fish nor?, are tho finest, ami per haps of the {.reate.-t variety of any other of the States, and can be had, for the trouble of ea'chiug ; oyster.s and clnms in abundance, :.til oi tin largest site and finest flavor. To the sportsman, there is always gatrc for his pursuits. Deer, turkeys panthers, bears aud numerous small game. Fruits, especially oranges, arc cultiva ted here in considerable quantities, and unlike the experience ol Greely in culti vating the canned fruits ami pumpkin on the same vine, "they are a success." Bananas are cultivated in considerable quantities, hut the recent Set ore winters havo made their success doubtful j the i_. _ -r ... i .. i ... i ? I . ?o-0-r.?- .-- -. as is three acres. The guava from which the celebrated jelly is manufac ??'red grows here spontaneously, anir arc Certainly a most delicious fruit. There arc large bodies pfhauiock hinds lying along the liver which are ver"y fertile, but not muth is cleared and put under cultivation, it being very hard to prepare for planting ; ami it biting au impossibility to obtain laborers, White or brack. Common laborers charge by tho diiy ouu Cull?f und iii'lj couU"*, and fllill ish themselves, or one dollar with ra tions. Much important Improvement has been neglected, and thousands of acres of the bfst lauds are lying idle for* the want of good laborers, who oun al ways command the highest wages, and the cash ready at any time There is no place in the South where labor is higher and articles of merchandize cheaper thun Manatee. Cane is the principal crop plnnted' here. Good hhmodlc land wiH yield two thousand pounds per aero from five to | seven y~6\\ts tVom the came Btubblo. New j syrup is now coming in, and can be bought for fifty cents per gallon. There ar j four stores mi the placo, and all doing a goo'l business. They pur chase dry goods irt >f"cw York r.nd gro ceries in New Orleans. ' There is regular steam communication from this point to Cedar Keys via T un pa, weekly. A great many persons cdme sucking health, and ull seem to receive benefit This is cortainly the healthiest country on the globe. There is but one physi cian in the county, and the calls for him are few iudecd. While Tampa, Cedar Keys and Gainsville have been ravaged by fevers of the most malignant kind, I can state truthfully, that there has not been a aidjile cane of lever in tliis vicini ty tlii:, season. Thore are several very pleasant I'm ml ing houses in the village, and the very best board can be hud ut #25 per mouth. There bus been immense i^uttuiitiee of beef cattle shipped from this suction 01 Florida to Havanna From this poiut alone, Senior Bustnmentez has paid out tilgfat thousand dollars in gold for euttlv?. and 0111108*1 everybody here has plenty of specio. Moat of the money here is gold, and pleuty oi it, 1 assure you. ' have at no time since the war, seeu so much money in pfoffuttion to the population. There is but little credit here, and ilitit only for a tthoit time. In all transac tions, the cash is expected und p it I I must close, us 1 tear 1 may ti- ? I will write Irom time to time, it agree j able, us I urn tho duly person hero Irom OK LxGKtt Monkey and Man. I think it was A. Pope that said : "Know thyself; presume not God to scan. The proper study of nVanlttnd Id triad." Jn his infancy he gol {he name of Alexander, which accounts for hitf being designated A. Pope instead of a Pope, and happily frees tho subscriber from any suspicion of irreverence. This is another illustration of tho advaiitiiro of a big capital. 0*:ly let. a man be in a j.osiiio i to use that., and it he is modi rately smart, it wiil keep him tree from suspicion of any sort. Hut there was considerable difference between Mr. Pope's ideas about the study ol man and those of the person named Darwin, who devotes hitus df to the pleasant work of showing that everybody's grandmother was a monkey, or possibly a cod fish. A ginne?! at part of .Mr. Darwin's la si book has opened to my mind's eye an enormous, field for speculation und I have almost made a luustic of myself trying to work it. You see, Darwin is not quite sure that I our grandmother was a monkey. If ho felt no doubt on the subject, but was ab solutely clear in lib hct?d about it. then of course the whole thing would be Bot tled. Hut he isn't clear. He ieapes the matter unsettled, and tint's how it comes that my mind hus been fearfully tortured in trying to find out what sort of ilifug the old lady actually was, and whether wo are really ot animal or veg etable origin. Any number of Vfypotlio.se* come up when I am thinkirfg ob'oiit ?t, nrtfd both er me st> much that I tear mj hair an I stamp around, and run a desperate risk ?of being ordered out ol the house by my landlady, who can't bo got to take any more interest in tfiis important sub ject than if it were an unconscious clam It is? tifftotiifhing how" iudifferont sonic r?.. ? i.. .:...v. ...... . whole intellectual toucnihrcVy of oth ers. At the breakfast table tho other day, 1 brotfght the subject forward, (I had been sitting up for three nights, trying ?o figure something out of it, and natu rally it was upper most in my heart,) and the introduction of it came near bring ing on a eoolness. I get it under con sideration iua quiet ingenious sort o way by saying to .Mr. Bullfinch : "Was any of your ancestors a calf?" Builliiit h is generally u harmless kind of person, with a tendency to idiocy, but on that occasion he showed spirit, lie' arillied about hull' i. pound of hash ut mo, and the consequence was u piotu resque looking map on the wall behind where 1 sut. It was evident that he did not sec the drift ot my ({lies'ion so 1 said : "Sir, your conduct is unpardonable; 1 urn making iirvcstignt pin irf regard; to the origin of the species, ami .it Was solely in" thu interest of science fhat I asked tho question. 1 nOW recent it, sir, and 1 beg y?ut? inform mo it you kuow whether any of your ancestors was a calf." Then hd did get mud I never saw nuything like it. He got up and shook out his hair, and pranced around the table, and it took' four boarders to hold hitn till ho cooled fjgf. It was uo use trying to get any inJi&<ttion out of him, 80 I turned to a?oher boarder, Mr. Wofflos. '?Woillcs," I snid./'it strikes mo that you must be of veg- .aDj0 origin ; that hair of yours is ?NHIhcy call carroty ; your noso.is n Miriw'?fc^?d I have heard some speak of you i?**Tbcet. Don't you think, now, there raj&ht have been suruu oubbagu heads in ih|?origioal branch of tho family ?" * It was ititer' Btinfc? observo Woffles while I was making these observations It .-i? nnii ;.s though *ume one had put a hoi -iji-'g i -o uudev him, he squirmed aud uioved ai mud V,o, and made such hideous luces. Wh? I got through lie just gave oue wi 163 glare at me, and made a dash lor th& Water-pitcher, and as 1 thought he vis threatened with apoplexy or somettuxg of thnt sort, 1 grabbed the cont.-fu over his head. Tney took tum upf stairs iu a truly shocking condition. 1 Ohl 'lurbot w-?^he subject of my next effort to' get Stpite farts in ethnolo gy lie la u qu-.'ei "looking ehap, Tur bo, ic rather eceiitrilj and with a mouth < . initi-h like a|codti>h. All the boardurs .i.a'Je I mi Of tnis old mau right to hin i'aoe. junt because he is Jeat. I ? no i pointed .ut to tlioai the sin .v.11_ _m;ie <dV;U teuerauie Codger i k.: in.ii, Un. tuey y thuy don't , this In- name "?ioWs lt.it he is game anyway. 15m i dou t belt, v- that Turbot is a game hah ; but it is.'no use arguing with thcBO igiioratuuses uhout anything. "Well, 1 yelled 01 old Turbot, "have you read Darwin, sit?" ?? Voting man, yn just let those things alone and pas.* that butler, if you pleitse.'" "What do you tliiftk of clatns, sir?" I tried to ^peak. ^a^^ti'rty five degrees above tefu tuis ttom. ?..mi, l d;d itat UJf h im -butter." .Moving closer t? aim'. I pifl uiy mouth near his oar and yelled fintinV "Do you consider it likely t'.'af any 'portion of the Vitiumti race is descended from tho clam ? Now, when wn Route to weigh different theories and specula tions in tho scales?" lie burst upon me furiously. "Do you mean to call toe scaly ? You impu dent scoundrel ! you unmannerly, out rageous, imperialen ruso.il. Von?you wh-r-r!" That was as far as he o >uld go. The emotions were too heavy for him. and he broke down. It was un.ortunuto that the old chip exploded. If he had only been calm ami kept his to in per I might have got something out of him, for he Spunds a great deal of his tun*- reading these seien ilie books, which none but lunatics pretend to understand. I'm it was not to be. hate had ordained that I should have difficulty in pursuing my investigations. Dropping Turbot I turned to an an cient damsel by the name of Squinks, who wears au intellectual pair of spec tacles aud is eon<iden d ahead of all the other boarders in the ethics business. "Madam*," F e"uid, ??what is your hon est opinion about the origin of tho spe cies ? Of course, you know what Dar win says. L.tt 1 want your own opinion. Now, do yon think Adam was made of - ??? .? ?V .... ?.y V....~ :\ ^.V" .?WIK S potato V Miss Squinks looked at a potato on her fofk for some seconds, and then an swered : "That man was a poor, weak-minded simpleton, anyways, and if 1 thought he was descended from a potato I would never eat another. Drat him ! ' Do you mean, Mis* Squinks, that you would nevci cat another mull ?" She Hew into a passion at once, and I hail ns much as I could do to get in an explanation of why 1 had aske.1 the !'i t quest ion. "You see," I said, "I asked because there are so many pers ins called pota toes, and it ?tu k me that Ad Mill him self might nave grown up from one " "PcrSOUS called potatoes! Why, ho" iu the world did that get into your head? What kind of persons ate called I otntoes " "Olr, I thought you knew- -the Mur phys!" The bbnfdcrs smiled at tins, ami as they we're in a good humor again, 1 thought I would try a little further Holding up a piece of pork that I fished out of the colleo, nnd lookitVg at a party by the name of baton, I s.vd: "Here is a prool of a connecting link between man and the low r animals Now, sir, this is pork ; you are bjcon; I can any one doubt that both are derived from the sumo Bource ? This Is" incon testibia proof that man is tho product of a system or plan of graduul development You, sir, aro an intelligent being, this is only pork, and yet the hog is the root ?f each Scieuee proves this, and soi enco may yet establish the fact, impos sible though it may appear, that yen are in greut part a hog still, nnd?" "D?n your seienco V And with that a chunk of ham hit me between the eyes, and a general misunderstanding ensued. But 1 have not given up th .se ethnological investigations yet. Science has always had to encounter ignore n Co nnd the hostilities of prejudice. I will not quail. - in in-?? i - Six Vayi Struggle With a Boil. I awoke on Monday morning with u painful milling, stingling feeling, all in a spot no larger than a lozenge. Woke I up Mrs. Quad, and asked her opinion. Sho said it was a boil. Woke up Long Primer who shares our couch. After several kicks at tho spot, ho intimated that it was n boil. Had some difficulty in standing up to eat breakfast. Went down; usked everybody what was good for boils. Had seventy-four recc'pes, running from sticking salves to a hot iron. Only swore forty-one times du ring the day. Titksday.?Didn't wako up?I was already awake. I measured the Loll and found it as large as a tea-cup, and the feeling was worse. Tried to repeat a hymn, but had to break off and kick tho dog four blocks to ease my mind. Children got uuder the table. Mrs. Quad unusually gratMotiS' anil not hint ing anything about piu money.?Went down town. Mau said he'd pay my fare on the car. Struck at him arid! explain ed that it made my back ache to ride. Newsboys kept a whole block off. Man asked me for a dollar, and I -ied to kill llim on the spot, only restrained by rc epect for my boil. Number of swears I right fully increased.--Had Job flung at nie Irirty times. Concluded to sit up all night) but got a little sleep while standing 6'ti fiy head. Put some flax seed to the boil'. Wednesday. ? House got on fire at daylight. I told the folks to let her burn, but they put it out. Otic mft'n wanted to know why I did not display more ambition. Tried to shoot him, but he got over the alloy fence. Chil dren were sent to the country this mor ning, probably for a change of nir. Boil is now as large as a teacup and saucer both, particularly the s. u?er j No signs of "heading." Seems as if I nhould go mad?1 am mad. Put some more tl .x seed on, and tried to look sad and pensive. Just got to looking so when 1 ran against a chair. Policeman pounded on the door and said he would arrest nit didn't stop tint family fight. Told him I was tho only one up' about as high as I could get. Said he would sympathize will, me, but went off and forgot tu. Can't keep track of the adjectives. Have contracted for a barrel flax sred. Tiiuhkday ?Wife left homo this morning, probably for a clfu'tigc of air. T.t'ft a not? on the table, telling m; she v. au quite mire liiat i ri m u ri iii." i co dier rang the door bell, and asked me if I Wanted sotnc pic-plant. The coro tier was lagging llim away on a day the last I saw. Friends'called nnd wanted to ?ee my boil. 1 indignantly refused to allow* them to dose, and they went off offended, rtayinff-that 1 was mighty par ticular. Big tire round the corner. Fireman gave nie n ki?? k for a joke. I tried to fight i'.j whole dcp'irtui'ciit, but came to just as they vfere shoving mo through a hack window. The exercise caused the boil to enlarg". V uns foo exhausted tu swear ; merely stoo . myself up ugninst the wall slanting, and reviled boils. Cat and dog disappeared; pr.b abi. for a change ol air. Fitiday.?Am Ivitig on the floor, too indignant tn move. Tho boil is there yet. 1 bine made up my mind to Ut it run. Servant girl readied me in some victuals through the window, and said ilia' 1 seemed to be rest less about some thing or other. 1 could only reply by a look. I have a calmness which domed ?Vom a knowledge that one is looking into his tomb. Coroner" has been twico, and Sdcined much put OUt that 1 hadn't killed anybody else". Said I bad gone back on him. FelU w came up here I : rid r.s'k cd mc why 1 was not playing base ball, and goto'en 'c 1 at my sileuco. Said I needn't bo ao stuck up cause J. happened to have a big boil; anil went away without handing over. I am just at tho point wbcro uian cares riothiog for anything. The boys are shouting mad dog under the window, hoping to get mo Up, b?t I don't move. Satubd?Y.?Was just passing linto an unconscious state, singing a Hymn of resignation, when I folt?I felt -well, I yelled, I sprurig on top of the table, kicked off tho crockery, tore tip a ten ccut shinplaster, aud tried to find some ouo to take my note payable on. sight. The boil was broken. I oalled the dog, whistled to tho cat, sent a dispatch to the family, raised the wages of the girl, and told tho man who owed me borrowed money, that he could pay me any time it suited him, and I haven't got it yet. Take things easy when you have a boil. They are good for the health. Although no one blames a man with a boil for swearing, don't swear. They dont amount to anything. Any one can have a toil as well as not. All you have "Ot to do is to endure. Advice to Old Men. BY ' BOY. I cannot pick up a newspaper with out "Advice to Boys" stares me in the face.?Old men write it, I s'pose. No body else is capable of giving rulvice to beys'; of course not! They know all about us, they do, 'canso thcy'vo beeny there. Advice is a godd thing to hare, no doubt, and no one should be' without it; but a feller dont want to be crammed with it (.11 the time, to tho exclusion of all other diet. Now, old men need advice occasional lyj but iu looking through the papers X don't son as they get it. So T thought that I would just write a little advice to old men, myself, if I am not presum ing too much (as Aunt ChToo says), and I presume that I Out. Tu the first place, you old chaps ought to get nvef telling how much smarter boys were when you were young lhan they uro now.?Sou believe it your selves, of course, cause you've told it so often, but we boys cant see it. We have a notion that boys are pretty much the world over, (except some that *re girls,) and one generation ot them dont lay over another generation to an alarm ing extent. Only let you tell it, and you could out run out-jump, out-wrestle and out anything-else the rising generation of to day when you was a boy. Graud f'a'her, who has the gout and half a doy.cn different kinds of rheumatism', is always saying that. I hoard him'sing ing "l would I were a boy again." would ho were; too; if I couldn't beat him running, and flop him on his back side hohl, I don't want a cent!. I would not go so far as to say parents obey your children, but I would suggest to fathers that they givo us a hearing occasionally on matters in which we are the ones most interested. Don't make us go aud slide down hill when we want to skate, and try to make preachers of us when we would much prefer to ruu a saw mill. This is figurative but I gu ss you know what I mean by It. about our conduct and how to behave, you oli} codgers ought to bo careful how you get to relating your boyish' scrapes to each other and laughing over them before wc are out of car shot. The oth er day grandfather read me a long lec ture about the right of property, tem perance and Sabbath-breaking. Thtrf v*ry night, an old cro^y of his c ituc to visit him, mid they had a glass of punch together'. They thought I was asleep on the sofa,and the way they run on about the fuu they had when they were boys together 1 They told all about robbing Lyon's melon patch, j ami it fuYnod out it was on Sunday night, too! When' I went to bed they were taking their thifu" glass of punch, ami I don't know how* many they had after that. I know grandfather's rhcu matistr Was a groat tfcat worse tho next day, and he complained n great deal' about his liver. Old men ought to be very careful ubout taking loo much punch. I have n .tiecd old men hate to' give ii)> that they criu't t-fnnd so much as they used to, or as younger mon can. They gel mad if a fuller like me hints that they can't.?We've ail got to play out sumtday, and whon he fees he's losing his giip, why not como down graeelally and acknowledge the oor?'? Now, in the above ~ teinWis]?f don't nean any disrespect. I like old Wn in lieir place, but I don't vrant so much of heir advics*. Give; tfte, bpj#u*flta?ee. rr'?T "'Sfr>f" I'T^'TiTfr ? isttfi ri? ad in Cou?i.-iAjit . itft state of feeling has cxis'tod between 3ed. Iteuben .Dav# ?od 8\ M. Meek. both lawyers oif MisaissippiJ forjMtnetimc Inf at, In last July or August these gentlemen appeared in Aberd&a; Mi? sissipp!, on opposite sides of a Villiog case, which was in course of aiamina tion before iho pi$m& Coartot thai place. The person* dtidsr trial was ('.' Taylor Hill, who was charged with mur der. Davis was defending the prisoner, and Meek was prosecuting. It ia generally represented that Davis had What ig forcibly called "a /Violent, w*?".?bout him; whereas Meek wal utjo'ti or?naiy occasions among the mildest of men?it modest, unobtrusive gentleman.-r He was insulted by Davis at that tirco, anc? felt mnch aggrieved. After that thev never spoke to each'other. On Friday last they again mot on opposito eidos of a case in the court house of ColutabtfJ' Mississippi, when Davis, a* usual, in dulged in violent and offensive language, and bo irritated Meek that he could bee? it no longer. He said: Daria, I can. Y stand your brow-bcating any longer. Defend yourself." Meek jcrkod on* bis pistol, and Davis , proceeded to drew but weapon, but Was too slow, and was shot before he had his weapon ret?fy fur use. This was in the court house, in the prcseuco ot the Jndgo and a fall court. Great cxcitomci.c prevails throughout the town consequent ?pori the. fihoo'-' The right of a child to proeeewte hi* parents for whipping him, and to recover damages in . court of law*, is in* proces-? of demonstration ift CinoinniM: Tit*' complainant, who ia an infant id thV eyes of the law, seeks damages to tb ? amount of 960,000 frouY his parents, f.* the abuse an.' ?11-trcatmcnt be has' su." fered at their hands since 1858. Th'i boy'U petition recounts how h'e Wat thraslieif with an iron ram-rod and with lubber vdiip?; how he was dragged about the house and down two flights o stairs by the hair, and how, by waf < f encouraging penitential meditation', he' was thrust into a closet, under a tank o. hot water, and kept there fo^ tori hour .' in such a position that he was unable t? stand up or sit down. Tho parentsI havo refused an offer to compromise.' ? I-- IM MHI II ~~~ Warm.?"What shall I do to' 1 warm t" asked a fashionably attired lad\ of a Quaker who was ridiug in a on - riage with her, at the same timo shiver ing in her lace shawl arid* profusion ? f yeweir/. \ "Idon*t know," replied the Qaeter, Isolemnly, "unless theo j/a'f? On1 an'otWer breastpin I" a reckless femalo suffrage was recent ly holdiug forth at Farwell Ilall. 11 the course of her remarks she shrieked i ' What shall we do with our helple - female children?" "Smother thorn.' cried a wag from the audience. "N i . ??? .. ?.!? . It It, J J. _ ?? -" *-''o" f: V? ~,rTT*J*r.' them. It will do a' heap oTgood." Wo do not know which advice wa* taken*. ! I Iu Chicago the other morning,, a' young nun named Phoenix rose from the ashes of Hriggs' houso. An' old bummer says eaYry rising ws? once an indication of tliritt; bu*t now it indicotca that a man is dry. "Good morning.' Smith.* y*m **bV sleep?." "Yes," replied Smith, "I tt?. up all liighl." "Up Whcrtf" "V* stnirs in bed." In Titusville, Pa., She gas ia so ba f that the citizen's Who wish to ?'nd * street lamp at night have to go out wi'.i a dark lantern and a pointer dog*; The treasurer of a Georgia* color o society who is strongly suipeetod ? f pookcttug the fund's,' wonders "how <o rats comes to .run away wid' all d. t money." A sick man was told' that his wife would probably marry again. "All right'' said he, "for therd will be ?nb man to lament my death." At a Ijouisvillc ball, n waggish yout'i t ok out tho ham from tho saudwitclw* and substituted slices of soap therefo .' Tho result may bo imagined. lie w. s* latherod.