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l^O E T R Y. A A E W- HA MP SH IK K TAVERN. Some years ago, h?s Rozinante striding, A gentleman was in New -Hampshire rid '"g* Far to the North? -He'd travelled many a league, One day ; and now with hunger, thirst, fatigue, Almost o'ercome, with most rejoicing eyes A Tavern siga be at a distance spies : Approaching, on the sign these words ap pear : For uian and beast best entertainment ^ here.*' Dismounting, for the hostltr now he calls, But tor the hostler all in vain he bawls.. He opes the door ; then sees with graces winning, The landlady and her daughter Bets a spin ning, Humming away at most enormous rate, This on the little wheel, that ou the great, *Wuere is the landlord ?"??> lie is gone away Clear down the lot with Joe, a mowing hay; 4 Grass, madam ? (lave you oats ?? No, none at all, My husband sold the -whale last fall To lind the house in liquors. '-'Corn, ma'am pray ?' 1 The last half bushel went to mill to day/ 4 Then have you. meal ?' ? k Not any s you know Bets, All we've not baked has gone to pay our ? -S debts. - Xfct down them bars ; take out.ytur bits, your horse Wiil find as good feed, sir, as ever tvorz, (*?) . .. , ?mmt- i??s done* the trav'ler to the house re t 1 Ui'tly AmJ to allay his thirst impatient burned* ? I'll lUank you madam for a glass of gin And water Sir, there's not a ^ drop ; within/ ^ ? Some brandy, then/?* Sir, we have p3ne ?Tr. at all ; \r 4 "For here for brandy people never call/. ? A glass then of We*t4ndia/? * ir, we've xki. none/ ** Well then* New -England/?' 1 All our ?. rum is gone/ - 4 Have you some cydcri or some bear that's good!' 4Chxv cyder's have, not lately brew*d/ STmfcry thirsty; piwy some wa^rr. bring' ? 'Bets take the gourd* and Jet ch some from i he spring/ < Bets w?!m? returned? Mother, th' old sow, oh, lud, . * Has made the water all as thick, as mud, By wallowing in the-spring/? The travel-' - , ler now Demands : A What ! keep you but youf pelves and tonf?' - , J Keep/ says the woman, feeling angcrte a spur, ? What do we keepNffhy, we ? keep. Tmv . em , Sir* ~ \ ? Vi r ' J > miscellaneous. ,m ty, ii ? ? ?in-. ? ?" ?? ? " ? Ffom the JVevj- York American. v ' ^ ? j " f. ? i I belong >lr. Editor, like your seU, io tll.il privileged order stigma tized by (he ladies as old bachelors; but fterhaps, Sir, you disdaiu the adjective* My design io addressing i you originates from uo zeal lo make * {wisely tes ; I am too good a patiiot for i hat. On the other haud, it may seem downright egotism to defend a coiiditrou ot life so replete with e*e 4 ry enjoyment; l>ut the world is jg noraiiijttod full of prejudice, and i am AiTdHived to aliovv i*y u*y own ex ample bow cruelly we are inisunUer etood. i ,\ \ i lie'gan my career of single bles sednees with leelin^ 01 pe ncc 1 -neu trality'; 1 did not renounce matrimo ny for schemes of ambition ; i had wo grand enter prizes to achieve ? no book to vftite lor posterity ? no newr sect of religion to establish ? no em pires to revolutionize. He ^that liath wile and children, (saith lily Lord liacon,; ftatli given hostages to fortune; J'or uiey are impediments to great enterprises, either oi virtue or mischief." iN either was I tempted to marry by any ol the vulgar but prevailing incentives. 1 wanted no heir to inherit an estate which I inten ded lo spend myself ; and as to pos terity, let it take care of itself ; lor my part 1 gloiy in uij priviledge* and am retudveU to ilie in lull posses ?on ot tiie middle oi ui^ bed. 'I he ^raud study ot rnj ule has been to avoid e>ei j troublesome jtca ponsibiliiy, no J to enjoy the luxury i? good iiviiUt which i maintain ? be h tull equivalent to matrimony. Sir, 1 lay ii down a?r a maxim, that nor*e hut a bachelor can ta*te in perfection the refinements of epicur ism; his itinerant habile leave him at liberty to ransack the earth in seahrli ? ?f its treasures, and to eivjoy them on the very spots where they are produced. Hence it v\ as that I passed the prime of my days in vis iting the great cities of Europe tie vising myself to science, chiefly the science of good living. Sir, 1 have beeo drunk with the present majesty of England, at my own expense, and 1 dm in actual possession of his directions -for the composition of his immortal punch, written by his own royal hand ! i have eaten haggis vtith the philosophers of Edinburgh, and X have dined on turtle with the Lord ^JVlayor aud Commonalty ot London. 1 have feasted on black trufles at Turin, heccufkos in feicily, and i once timed on the foot of a iLippopotamus of the>iile in excel lent preservation. My travels of course hav< been various, and it may tie said of me * it was of my Lord Hlaney, that I literally ate my way through the continent of Europe. ? Alter allr Mr. Editor, Paris is the true .epicure's paradise; in that en lighten* jl\ city, as formerly at Athens cookery Jias risen to the dignity of a science, and will hold a high rank io the encyclopedias of the present jrtfigii. America is still a young country ; ii possesses the richest ma terials for future greakiess, as well as cookery, but a century must elapse before they can be developed antl brought to perfection. JL<atu?tiy my peregrinations have been restrained by that infernal, ene* uiy to happiness, (he! gout; but thanks to the eau mtdicmale and the po ers of steaui, I am enabled to keep in motion. Like that choice, the rice bird, my progress is regulat ed by the seasons. A still continue to <&t uiy crabs at ^oi \gbranch, my oyster* at Shark Kitfer, a?y terrapins at Commuuipaw, and tuji turtle with the> highminded' fraternity of Hobo keii. This brings me to* Vie monb of August, l5aiiston J4priktg9> and my dear Airs. D vis. Hei ? l^am t'liahled to correct the excesses -**f the year. Here I can ? lounge in 1 vy ?I* iio\\ chair under the piazzas of Han ?ouci, and expatiate on the mi$ei of the marri d aud the blessings W the single. Indeed, it is here th. v . bachelor is practically confirmed ii ike wisdom of bis choice of life. ? licit: mauimony shows itself in all its native horrors: 1 consider the, | vast assemblage at Ballstun, from the differeut slates of the union, as a sort of congr&s of fashion, oach one sending its delegate, by whom it short of standard of manners is established for th? government of the .w hole. It is in fact a kind of mat-] rimonial fair., Here -the rose^ of the north (as ray exquisite frhvTid, Paul Alien, would pliiage it,) are contras ted v>ith ttie lilies of the south. It is here th*U bane Is of rice, bags of (cotton, a iMiy logs heads of tobacco are wef^hed agiftnst six per cents, hack lands, and ma l ino sheep. Here (lie arts of conquest are studied and ar rayed iu .?ll tueir terr rs.\As i am a citizen of the Moild, wiftiout au^ a|i|i<?rent designs, it is my delight in t?enetr*te those uf others i am now ut possession of se\eral that would ? vt rturu the beau iiioude of this hap . j republic, we iv i so malicious as w> make tuein known. My expert ise enables me to iooii througu an uair ot gallantly at a single glance. , i ft tms instinctive sagacity, my .) rude# of secret intelligence are the it lilies' maids ; these |jii vy counsel + iin, it is well known,. in unlacing ^ \i* persons of their mistresses, per* t i ui the same office lor iheir minds. )i hi* real character nf a he He, in the c oin[Miiy of her coniidentiaj main,' e xhihus itself as n.uch in dishabille, t 5 that of a iiero in the presence ? J U s valet de chaiuhre. . Thire i ' in oreover a natural sympathy Ik-; iv .cen a lie ile 1i^ profession ami h< cht lur hj principle ; lioth are co i Li) uoiied aiiiinajfc-? both abhor mat 4. mony* Kut belle* are brings of much : ore nsp iin? v pws. I am accu ?%.?.. ?d to consider them in t!.f li??u of mighty conquerors, nntl 1 could easily run a parallel between a belle and Alexander the Great. ? Both are divested of any petty feel ings of humanity in pursuit of law ful prey ; both advance to the contest with feelings perfectly cwol and intre pid. ictent only on victims to gracei a triumph, and swell the voice of fame. When I look upon one of these .beautiful destroyers, arrayed and caoarisoned for conquest, nie thinks I behold a steel-clad warrior on the eve of battle^ armed for the field and eager for the fi^ht." ? But, Mr. Kditor, I bave wandered from the purpose of my communication. ? I think, however, that I have said euough ; should any person 11 ven ture upou the desperate sacrifice of his liberty, mAv he but as >ir Peter sa^ s, " Tiie crime carries witbt it iU? own punishment." PEKt/tiiilNJS 8iNliLE. i JFor the National Advocate. -< I HE CRITICAL Oii KUVEli: " JS'evet dispute ubo at trifles " ^ iinde Bartholomew, as 1 said before, was a pretty shrewd 0U1 uhaj) abounding in 11 manner of cu rious sayings, indeed like iUe j>ai riarchs of old, he was the father of the w !*ele neighborhood ? giving ?<K>d advice* where advice was necessity ? visiting 4he jkjot and unfortuu>u with his purse ? anck Settling the fiuteb .of the w hojte village, ho s;reat, indeed, wasr*fiis success iu, this .latter case, that it was said, three. attorneys were compel led* I> r the uu usual scarcity of suits , to take th - benefit of the insolvent law^-but thi* wants co till fin lit j on ? mote especially, as it was whispered about among the "kuowing ones," 4hat they uaude a "giand speculation" by it ! A youn$ man of the village .hav ing; married a very tidy >oung maiden ? no ways remarkable, however, for ihe, sweetness of her temper ? and, TfcM^he same time, a little in-, clined tod imputation himself, found his house so little resembling one ot concord, that he bethought himself' srriously ot* the necessity of remedy f ing -it ? and, therefore, according lo the old proverb, that u in the muUi-, tude of counsellors there is safety," he applied to uncle Bartholomew tor advicer? This, agreeably to his usual custom, was concisely given ? it w a* in four words ? " JSever dwputr \about trijlee f" ? and, so forcibly Wit* the young felknv impressed with the c <|icacy ol* it, ,4hai jrom that time for v, wd, ^1 ibv were reckoned the Jia - pie. ^ couple in the village. v f j!5V vue time ago, 1 received an in vjtatit ^ to spend the afternoon with ap acq* taiutance whom I had not seen fir a iiu V?ber of years? and, actor dingly, calculated upon enjoying myself v* The appointed da^ having nr? tiv?d, 1 set out, and w?i* received w Ti*h every demonstration of joy, by Beutkam Dab&i.e and, bis dime. 4 the fust time 1 had seen the i. * since their marriage, and I forthed , A very favorable opin ion of his wife. JVom the cleanliness **il regularity n WfflKSd in the dis |iositiok) of her household, and tue tidiness of her tin ,iu'e daughters ?every thing had foe appearauce of Wdx work. After answering ( h? usual round of questions, i \>?> ? hurricti -out, very abruptly as 1 fa. ''J ni> friend Bertram, in ordi. " * '? v^w his plantation ? nod so well wd he occu py my" attention, (hat it w '** etfe we returned ; we fo> W<1 dame Dabble busily engaged in V ? wanting lier service, and io a few flti. '^te8 *e were summoned "to tea.'" 1. * I Waa delimited with the amieafgnct- ol ,,er nouse, I was much better pi with her ierapting viands, and . ^ ?n" iicipated a most deiicioua mei " when, alas! an accident' ocrtm "et' ivhich completely destroyed all n* V rio|>os ! , ; A l?rg* cream jug had been pla-, .ctl upon a nmall stand, fertile piy ,?>e of replenishing the more font* lonable one oq 1 he Utbl?? ? thi? ju^, ' V or its contents, possessed *\\Wi ien* (harms to am act 1 1 attent iavoiiu? cat U it'i< in the room, w I ; ? ? -?fine I willing enough u> appnvr. ? ?te it to her own u*e. This uiov- ? n nt bein^ observed by Jiertram. In immediately i;ave notice it u? his daughter, by binding a couplet of the oh! U&Uad, (with, unftirtun aielv for the comfort of the remain ?? ing part of tUe day, a transposition of two words) which lias been in um many years, viz: \ *' I'he cat's in the cream ju<j, ( 'Jirls run , girl* run ! I The cat's in ? " Here, however, tie was interrup ted by his uife, w la*?e ears could not ^reconcile the transposition appa rent in the second line, ami s he im mediately exclaimed, " Fwtincler, my dear, yon can l>e so forgetful, J Fin sure you know it tuust he thus : 4k The cat's in the cicam jug, Ruu g iV\*% run girls ! J The cat's in the cream jug, Run kill*) run '" Bertram rejoiued, ami the A-j/e n -1 rejoin* <i ; a nd the dispute nad reach ed a considerable lieiglu, wheu ii was terminated in a manner uot yer? olcasjuit ti? me, viz: scahting m> j-elf most unmercifully with Damn* i Da hide's tea ; which caused me u scam|ier about the room, to tjie lie small amusement i.f the disputants, whose uuiu?cessarv contradictions lia.T mmpleiely der nged ui> Jacuhhs.- . I he c A, however, was driven uut. aiul having again taken ru) seat, te;.] wa*> jtinished in rat her piore quietm> ihau it commenced; though iuj co<? \ lore was entii i*J v destroyed $ an? therefore, hurried home as mum *?: ?> sihle; lamenting J he lot ui i?. , ? i. i ho*. ?f he would iner* I. have foilowe?l -hv oucle's advice ; v 4 never disputing about trifle*," have l>een ihe Jhaj>j>ie?i man iu Ihe village. la my further progress .though life. I found thai-there were a great mativ Bertram Dabbles/ Aud to all such, i will merely observe, iu the wot'rit* of my e j?r dispute xjk)ut tr\fleW Whimsical sketch of the life 4 (L .death of Men y V11L , He was born in and began to reign 1503. He jaised liis favour-' hew, the instrument# of his crimes* tfom the .depth of Obscurity Xo the pinacie o i grandeur, anck, After set ting them up as tyrants, put -them to death like slaves. Hew as pre-emi nent in religion ; first quarreling with ljuthex, whose doctrine* he thought' too republican, he. became the defen der of the Cajtoolie faith ; and thee' (j unrolling with the 1'ope, who stood in W\\ of his murders, lie .was twice excommunicated. lie made creeds ami articles, and made it treason not to swear to them ; and he burned his opponents with slow .fire. He burn ed an hysterical girl, the maid of Kent, for her opinions. He dispu ted with a foolish school-master on the Real Presence, and burned him to convince him. lie beliegded bish op Fisher mi J bir \ lioinaa Mc?ore, for not swearing that hi* own chil dren were bastards, lie robbed the churches, and gave the revenue of a convent to an old woman lor a puu ding. He burn il a lovely yonn^ woman (Anne Ascue) for jabberin .< of the Heal Presence. He was in love, aa" in religion* delicate and lender, tie first married his sister in law, and because her children died, destroyed tier; married her Maid of Honor, and made Parlia * ment and Clergy declare he had doue welt lie beheaded the JVIaid of Hitnour for letting her haudkerchiej fall aj a lilting, and two or three gentlemen ivitti her, to keep jier crtmprtn^ ; threw ber hod> iu(o an old arrow case, and hurieil it therein, and the very next d<iy married a third wife, and hi* J^i lament and hi* Clergy made it treason not to wy it was well. lie next jtropoaed io Francis 1. to hring two 1 run esses of lunse, and a number ot other pre it) Fundi la kkies, that he mi^ht choose a fourth Mfo amoug them. . fl tuw Jfletu i 'Jig mum too to tiling luiin xnotkei, so lie leli hi iove vwiu Uit: picture of a "Dutch ladv, uud mav her without seeing her. When ? it* came he found she '?poke lhitcli ud did not dance well. He *worc ? >e was no maid, ( ailed her a 'e hin ders mere, and turned her loose4, fid as he had destroyed Cardinal vVolsey, when he was tired of his .'orme** wife, so he beheaded Crom well when he was surfeited with this me. ? lie married a fifth wife, with whom he was so delighted, that he had forms of thanksgiving, compo sed by his Bishop^ and read in the . iiurchcs* and tlien condemned her, tier grand-mother, uncles, ; aunts, cousins, about a dozen in all, to he put to death. Having done all this, aud much more, he died of a rotten leg, in the 58th year of his reign, jLiid tbe7#;h of his life. FROM THE NEVfr LONDON ADVOCATE* The following w a very cheap , easy and speedy method for making the vert, Jirat ryie Vl^'KGAH : Take any quautity you please of tb e first ripe apples that fall, and u IhcIi are always worth the least for rider, which should either he ground - r\y course In a mill, or wha is quilly good, bruised in a barrel u lib a cmiinon pounder. Then of ne coarse gro *ul or hruised apples, j .ut a layer of about two inches deep into die bottom of alight clean cask; [iJieu a layer df rclenn straw of about i he *atne thickness, and so on till the cask is full, observing to press ':#e straW and apples well together (tli the Jiand while filling the risk* Then take one fourth part as much aUTRs (be come apples would m^ke i' culcr, (if ground and pressed,) lid pour it a little at a time iuio the : ask of apples and straw. JLet it stand tuo or 4hree hours, and then drain it off verv slowly, just as you would water through ashes for mak ing lye, And being thus drained off, Die saute liquor is to he run through three or lour times a day, lor tw o days successively. It is I hen to be put into ft clean cask, where it tuay work, .standing in the sun.-* Iti a short lime it will Jbecome very fine sharp Vinegar. W. B. \ August, 80, |8SQ. >' , THE SABBATH. How still tftc .morning of this haUow*4 day; My te is the voice of r\iral labor ; hush'd 'five plough-boy's whistle and the milk maid's song. > Grahame -Auspicious morning! celebrated I iy angels chanting hallelujahs la HIM who hurst the hars of death, and triumphed over & {lie grave>? Shall men observe *;<kjfnb silence? The plough- boy may suspend his unmeaning whistle; and the ruddy - milk-maid her iapocent song; yet jihey will with reverence join in at* hymn of devout adoration aud thanksgiving. How charming is Oil* day ! Sfce the rich and the poor, tliQ old and the young, repair to th* temple of 4he Lord.' The swain* at dawn of day, beats away tlie de\fr of night, to IxUhe himself, and res* tore his tired limbs, and another w ith uciive steps, hurries to the assembly* and lo?s anticipates the. aonnd of th$ deep toned bell and joins iti his praise ; ? the praise universal echoes from eve?y heart. On this divine jubilee; (hie day of rest, the toils land liardships of the week are for* gotten, and hushed are the savaga passions. Thus, dressed in cleanly robes, all glorious within, ".the peo ple walk onward to the temple of Zion." Every grateful day ! I -hail the King of other days; King of domestic/ peace ; of pleasure ; of rest. Thou art ever welcome, evefc lovely; whether in winter9** frozen roiws, or a <tumn9$ rural to laste her richest finite ; or B&mmer'i r sultry rays, to sit beneath the foliage <.t her groves, or tn the lovely fipritig, to View the violeft, the lily or the rone. Thou fillest all seasons with divinfc i OHpect ; thp ? woodland walk, the venlant meadows, the chanting choir, *nd the moral man, receive their > ich delights from thee !? " Hallow * ia^ ! huth'd be the plough-boy'* .viuatto jy^the mvl k- maid's sonp,*'