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Facult Laney'To L Glory; Schec At a meeting held at the Mi Shop last night, the Carolina grid squad elected as their Capt'ain next year a brilliant young drawl?ack, Brooks (Man Mountain) Laney. Laney has played a minor role in tle successes of the team for the past 27 years, and is expected to complete his grid glory as captain for his next 10 years here. Mr. Laney is a drawback with the powers of Epom1 Salts and the dash of a snail. He not only passes, runs and kicks, but smokes as well. He has received honorable mention for all-messhall for the past 5 years and has made all-infirmary for two consecutive years. Assistant Coach "Him" Sullivan announced his approval of the se "Hook" Babcock Trains For Golf Crown Havilah "Hook" Babcock, The saurus slinger and local golf bug, today started a one man revolution against Johnny Revolta's title-win ner of the Columbia-Ridgewood Golf tournament. Babcock claims he would have easily defeated Revolta last winter .had he been able , to enter the tournament. The golfing profes sor, however, was busily engaged searching for one word to replace two others-probably to conform with the Minimum Word Law re cently passed in Washington by the Congress Playing Card Company. Babcock, while putting on his front lawn and missing the cup by the margin you have to walk to get a . cigarette which is soothing to your nerves, declared that his game was progressing in. good order. "I'll beat the pants off of Revol ta. Why I could beat him using only my mashic-if he had his back turned." Besides being a golf enthusiast, the pill-pounding professor has felt it his duty to make a contribution to the game, Thus after many nights of concentKation, and after a bowl of grape nuts one morning, it came to him c. o. d. .11 "It's the tnts," the professor articulatedl. "I just found out (he jutst foutmd out) that the overlapping and the interlocking grips weren't worth the price of a postage stampl. InIsteadl I 'm going to introduce, in my match with Rev'olta, if he doesn't forfeit, the ear-lapping grip. By using ear-lap)s--but, that is all. I have nothing further to say dor publication until after I have de feated Rev'olta in the tournament I will further reveal the intricities of my new grip. The .reporter felt that the only grip that would (do the professor any material good would be the jiu-jitsu.. The Banging Babcock has been worrying also lately about his chip shots. To correct this flaw in his game, lhe will .go into heavy train ing the second Thursday of this week on his front lawn--by read ing "Good Bye, Mr. Chips." MATERNITY *WARD MEET THE GANG AT HYKILS 1237 Linol~n St. PRONE 2-2491 YFoo1 ad Football lule Given F4 lection by giving a beer guzzeling at the Mi Shop. Coach "Him" said, quote, "It's not what you do, it's the way what you do it. So if Laney can bring victories over such formidible foes as Winthrop, Col lege Of Charleston, and the striped gang from the banks of the Congaree, next season I will be more than prouder." An- alternale captain was not chosen on account of because no body would have it. The voting in the election was as close as a 'scotchman, with Laney coming out of the battle wiinner, 1-0. He voted. Other members were absent from the meeting on :rccount of because of the shades being up at the wonans building. Revolta-ing f'Johnny ItteVOUtaS Above is the man that "Hook" Babcock expects to whip this year in the annual Columbia -Ridgewood golf meet. - He doesn't look like an easy bird of prey so "Hook" will really have to hook some shots in. Fowls Win S. C. Swim Splashing Take Every Thing Even A Good Drink (Of Water) Aboeiste man tInok e y bid Sfpre ortok"wl rea hae ac okisoeshtin Fnolce WIn S.Carln' nwswimgta splais ythngaechm Taeron thtvasmaerny h mghevngs.e (Ofr waother)ta ntrd Cs onprementl lie h Everydig Sprt a tolwe Anouer cea sr prset,s Carolina' officias nii this prne mj)agit claed the state chamn pionship.ti ek h emsoe evctry inha wsimain make caoiinsrm won all trclndde There asolia wth thea enetion Clemost reciting claiedo the state championship swimmg e petitoiong wa seeti a eets. T0~he ga0loero tem ere pren, o was rowdedotic~i with th is specor wholugt to g ed aickets wtot 'llmito fc py ini o.ae o1t2 Carolna ith the xceti8 petition was Manin alets. h tb balle i Squad To )r 1940 They were disappointed. Acting Atheletic Directress Celia Swecker has announced the follow ing ambitious schedule for next year. Septobre 33-Penn State (State Pen) at City Jail. Octembre 48-Keeley Institute at Buck's Liquor Store. Octembre 67-J. E. Mainer's Mounteneers at Chitlin Switch. Octembre 71--Clemson Cowdets at Armory. Octembre 99--Winthrop College at 8 o'clock. Nouary 33-College Of Charles ton at Fort Sumpter. Decomposition 22% A. F. of L. at White House. Chink Cats Call Chumps Of interest to many persons on the campus, the University chink checker players will meet the roar ing kitty-cats from the Calhoun hill. Leading the fowlers will be Tru man Mims the Florence flash. Other members of the talented team are "Hot mian" Dubose, Lamp Altman and "Flash" Gordon. Minis states that if they are able to whip the felines they will meet the Ling-ching-chow boys of Foo ey, Ming-chow. The Birds have been practicing for the past few hours, and if a case of pauljonesitis does not set in 'should have a chance to out move the farmer boys. The Cowdets are led by "Ittle Biddie" Bill Cason of Maryland boximg fame. Supporting Cason will be "Curley" Wilson also a former boxer, till he met the Cit adel. The other two members of the team are "Baby" Flatham and Bunk McSpadcn. The official of the contest. will be the Columbia City police with the state militia supporting them. The entire Carolina student body will be armed with rotten tomatoes and Onions. This protection will be of this order so the up-country men will Ire in an invironment that they are accustomed to. If it is possible refreshments w i Il be served. That is if pretzels are not too high. I,.eadling the s(juad tha ~t sp)lasheCd its way to victory were nmembers of the swimming team. who splashled their way to victory down the 75-foot course. Thle meet, without competition, will bew an an nualI event, and will be held every year, D)ean of Athletics Jack ('raw ford said in a state MIuchi interest has been shown in the C'arolinma swimming team by Carolina students, who have shown themselves to be interested in this new sport. A large number of studlents turned out for the swim ming stiuadl this year. So manay were out for berths on the team that an elimination had to be held to deCcidie the student who would not take part. Intercollegiate meets will be schedumled soon, it was annonneed by Mr. Crawford. NEW SPRING OLOTH'ES FOR COLLEGE MEN Copeland Co., Inc. 1409 MaI St. $ 398 Playtimes $1.99 and $2.96 Spring is here in all it's glory-and so are all the new 8pring Styles to mnat you feel gloriously young and gay. Faculty Vs. N A Fencers Undi Will Go To With one match alre-dy in the box, the members of the sword juggers will try to fence in the en tire campus this weekend. Starting at the corner of Pen dleton and Sumpter street they will mooch up Pendleton to Pickings street and from there turn right and go down to Grin street. Here they will pause for the thing that refreshes, (the woman's building). I ron the enhouse t tz:-.m ill' then commence to go down green to "Ptomaine" Sweckers hash joint and back up Sumpter to Pendleton. The route will fence in the entire main campus and keep the over indulging boys from -Mi Shop. The Field House. (Lakatos' Boxers Einterta # Here is shown a fencer or a boc at the annual get together of the tw~ White I Fe The Leader, Flat or Cuban Heels. White, Black. Pat ant, of Japonica Tan.4 A Sport Pump That Will Flatter ..the Foot. ~ COU SHOI In White or Tan and White MARILYN SL 1524 MA sh In Uts. 4 d"E' artake To Fei Many Points home), the Womans Building and other less important mieeting house will be left open onl account of be cause too many gates would be left open by the "gentlemen" of thle campus. The fencing team this year is un der the dictatorship of Director Coach "Sitting Bull" Cantey of the Legare Cantey.s. Coach Cantey says, quote, "If we finish thle mieet il. 018-t Qentomber it will set a ne w speed record for anything that I have ever had anything to do with." After this streneous expedition it is hoped that anl appropriation of some1 tenl are eleven cents canl be pulled from Herr - Chase to put in Fenicers #,# * Rgh Many Pints other less Fort Smoti housr open by the g n hen orh Coach"Sittng Bul"Whatey of h 1~egre Cntey. Caonc Cante says, (loe efSHOPe ee Fine X ece; Team Of Interest gates to the main entrances of the fences. This would keep out wild animals, Dogs and other Clemson men. "To rid the campus of Cow (lets would be a thing of beauty" saies Sitting Cantey. Following this weekend's expedi tion the fencers will try to inclose other popular section of the city. This job will be under Roy "the flash" Garris, genial assistant to "Sitting". This will be on account of because Cantey will be in spring holi(My hibernation to his swivel back hed in Legare college. KRISPY KREME GLAZED DOUGHNUTS Different - Tasty - Satisfying "WHY DO CC MEN PREFER PALM BEA SUITS AND SLA FOR THE TEN BEST stateme words or less. answering the a tion, the Goodall Company ' *25i Visit your local Palm Beach store. suits, slacks and formals. Ask the show you their unique features. 'I --to the Contest Editor, Goodal Cincinnati, Ohio-a statement words long, telling what specific the new 1939 Palm Beach suits appeal to you as a college man. answers will be rewarded as folloi FIRST AWARD . . . . .. SECOND AWARD . . . .. 'THIRD AWARD . . . . .. FOURTH AWARD . . . .. SIX AWARDS EACH OF .. DUPLUCAT E AWARDS IN THB EVi Only men duly enrolled in a tecogni: college or University are eligible. Le postmarked not later than May 31-and your college, class and name of your fai Winners wili be notif6ed by mail after be sure to stat, your mailing address a Selections by Contest Editor will bind contestants. Entrie, consents ad ide come property of OCOnaLL Cansuw.CaNCeena Form Chase Breaks Training Rules Is Kicked Out After a very successful spring practice without the loss of a single game, head coach "Whitey" Rawl has voiced high hopes of a winning Faculty football squad for the 1939 ;eason. A full schedule, climaxed with a 4ame with Wekeepum Orphan Home, will keep the team in a ather for the entire season. "Fleet foot floogie" Chase, the nan who scored the faculty's only Aouchdown against Nosee Institute or the Blind last year, was expelled ron the team because of a breach >f coach Rawl's lenient regulations. In the words of the head mentor, 'Chase persisted in chewing tobac :o and sleeping during the half." The loss of Chase will seriously -ripple the squad since he acted in the dual capacity of setback and water boy. According to coach Rawl, the first team will probably be com posed of the following men: Which End ......J. Wiley Brown The Other End .... Bob Wienefeld Block and Tackie ..Charlie Mercer Fis,hing Tackle ...."Bad" Penney Mud Guard ......"Killem" Cantey Helluva Guard .......Robert Bass Jump Center .......Willy Callcott Way Back ........."Rock" Smith Lean Back .."Curveball" Babcock Talk Back .."Lightning" Lipscomb Draw Back ........Frank Bradley Fat Back ...."Marbletop" Sherrill THOM McAN'S FOR QUAUTY SHOES QUACKING GOOD FLORIST -with that is distinctive" SPECIALIZING IN CORSAGES ARM BOUQUETS Drake's Home of Flowers 1406 Main St. Day Phone 7660-Night Phone 8697 LLEGE AH (CKS?j bove ques vill award See the new salesman to 'hen address I Company, ot over 50 features of and slacks The ten best vs: . . $100 . . $50 . . $25 . . $15 .. $10 I mst contain June 15th, so s of hatdate. company and SaID, osNtO