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Kingfisi 4 SenatorGuests Clariosoppics Bass Bemoans Mullet Blabcock Supplies Mullets While Outing With Dean Prex. Three-Hundred Baited Three hundred students of the University were recently treated to a big political mullet dinner at the Columbus Hotel, by deer Kinfish Hooey Long, as part of the senator's campaign toward baiting the whole state in his share our health program. Everybody seemed there. Even the forgotten men. Coming as quite a surprise to the students, the mullet reception, was put on when the Kingfish saw the Clariosoppic Hawl was too small to hold all those sucked in on the occassion. Toastmaster for the occassion at the Hotel was none other than our perennial Professor Bass, who in his talk bemoaned the fact that mullet was in season. Bass angled for a nipper between paragraphs. Between nips Bass came up for air to look the situation over. Floating just above him was the fumes emenating from the mullet dish. By the way they were products of the Congaree basin. Local representatives on the entertainment committee were Dr. Blah Cock, who claims to have caught the fish while outing with Prex Bakum the last time they played hookey from school; Kill Patriot, who says he ate better fish during his 40 year term ir STATE HOUSE PHARMACY PHONE 6560 c 'i I? <vI r -QkO 3 PALM BEA SUITS... There'll be sizzling when you wouldn't suit for $15.75 for t And you con hav comfort oil summer still have a lot of w< Palm Beach is a t this season, because finer tailoring. You oi in white and fash Genuine, tradekeeps its shape anc than any other sumn fuzzless fibres rep and perspiration o COODALL COM P. i Flaps Bloody Murder Shocks Campus D?ath Stalks Library Like A Ohoul In The Night, Som Feind Commits Ghastly Crime Flees Prom Place Jack fish bone, constructor in th Departmunt of Romance at the Unibci sity, and former track star and Mauric Step ins, were found dead in the Rc mance Libry of Davis College la: night by Colonel Emmett Whokillec Patrick. It is not known definitly how tl two constructed met their death hi detectives say that Madame Gra< Cansherun Swenie murdered Mr. Stc ins and placed his body on one of tl shelves of The Romance Libry. M Fish bone was currecting papers ; the front of the room and upon seen the nife stub through the heart c Step ins upset the stack of papers 1 was currecting and when they fell c him he was smuthered by the impac No motif has been found for Mada Swenie's murdering Step ins but it believed that her aspirage for head < the Romance Department led her this rashness. Mr. fish bone had given his cla in Romance minus eleven X marks tl spot such a long quiz that they stack ^ twenty feet above him. Authoriti say that had he not given such a qu he would probably be living at tl ^ time of this writing. , Funeral surbices will not be conduct for the two men. U. 8. O. a Russian bughouse; Rocky Smit who got his name from the fact tl lie spends so much of his wife's spc dulicks; Rev. Smirk Son, who pi nounced a side splitting invocatic Why Bell and Josiah Remorse, ti (Continued on page 8; column 6) >/\ beach suit 0 $15.75, yEACD ol Ull Jew in Value -hot days this summer sell your Palm Beach he rest of the day. e this Palm Beach cool for only $15.75...And sar left. digger value than ever * of the lower price and jght to see the beauties lion's newest colors. marked Palm Beach I resists wrinkles better ner suiting.The smooth, >el dirt, and let air in ANY CINCINNATI ? Fins It Fish Story ' Takes Cake 7 e Babcock Goes Wild Describes One Of His Famous Escapades With Finned e Creatures J" Babcock relates one of bis most recent , fishing experiences. Having tendered a ,t choice morsel appended to a denticulated barb to the finny denizens of the deep for over six hours without attracting the ie aPPet'tes of his coveted game, he decided lt to resort to artificial bait. :e The skilled angler cast far out into the p blue, and deftly dropped the plug at the iC side of a decayed stump. Then he slowly r> reeled the bait through the water, but at nothing happened. Not to be outdone, ,g lie cast again to the same place. But )f alas! the wind blew the plug from its inlc tended line of flight and hooked it on a >11 small twig which was projecting from :t. 'he side of the stump. The small silk m line was not strong enough to pull the is twig ofT; there was no boat on the lake; and the fisherman couldn't swim. How to Was '1C retrieve the valued angling implement ? ss Dr. Babcock began tossing pebbles at ?v |,e the obstinate twig, hoping to depose it H ec] from its throne upon the log. He threw pr e3 stone after stone, until all of the supply ,jz in the immediate vicinity was exhausted. ? he Then he went up the side of the adjacent mountain and found more rocks, He was becoming exceedingly exasperated, and in his great wrath cast great boulders at tlie small object which had surreptitiously ? deprived him of his property. But his ty? aim was bad. . .not one missile found its iat mark. >n" The infuriated angler was on the verge ?" of evacuating the scene of his mis,n? fortune; he put his hand in the water lVO to wash oft* the dirt gathered from the rocks. Much to the surprise of the educator and sportsman, it was discovered that the thousands of stones he had thrown into the water had completely filled the cove. So he proudly walked out to the fallen tree and gently lifted his prized minnow from its perch. Twilight came. The fisherman packed his tackle; he was leaving unrewarded but unconquered. Suddenly his attention was caught by a vociferous thud in the direction of the fallen tree. He investigated. A school of bass, hendreds of them, upon returning home, had swam into the unexpected barricade of stone and killed themselves. Winnah! R. M. Kennedy, who insisted in joining the Nest Growing Contest. Debaters Bull Way Out In Hectic Bout (CONTINUED FROM PAGE ONE) the state militia had to be called out in order to separate the four men, Julian Bradsher, who came i-i late, had his jaw broken in the fray?he was whistling the "Old Spinning Wheel" when one of the spokes flew out and hit him in the mouth. Dink Gaines Is Winnah [n Bearded Lady Contest (CONTINUED FROM PAOE ONE) No sooner had she finished speaking was she assailed by a army of cameramen and the judges who were demanding their part of the reward, which they declared Miss Gaines promised them. Bull Cantey, Dr. Murchison, and Hot Spark Bass were the judges but the champion attributed her success to her wonderful tonic. ?IT. ?. o.? Handsome He-Men Seek New Honors (CONTINUED FROM PAOE ONE) and his deathly poisonality. "Clink" Scales and Midnight Black were selected by Krappa Krappa Omicron. "Clink" is noted for his characteristic feetures (having only been broken seven times), while Midnight is famous for his stupid questionaires in class. i Merry Protector U Iai J' al If. 01 hi si lx Judge Blankhead standing guard er Burney, while Jack Nathans and uman Rubin held the two female isoners, to prevent a lynching. Large Stock of Patterns and Styles in the NEW GrOODALL PALM BEACH SUITS $15.75 HOPE-DAVIS CO. MAIN AT LADY Fuss ||(^<$#\ WhenU as you ar let the e sunny-sir feel serer AT TRYING TIM r Mulle tabry Speeds Swiftly From Wrath Of Judge Beehive Maybry of tenement 17 was rrested last week by the Hon. Smith udge on the charge of transporting chol on the campus. At three o'clock Friday morning [aybry was speeding across the campus 11 his bicickle when Judge requested im to stop. Just as the law had jcspecked he found on his person seven attics of hair tonick. "Why were you speeding so fast?" TRIUMPH OVER " "After Pater clar allowance, I used to Mangel's." "Pretty smooth, Pi "It's not original, the house are wise "Not so dusty' Mangel's is the to "Yup!" Jfgn Main at T ed by a Fa liy/i / a /7 flR| nele Elmer steps on your bridal e about to ankle clown the aisle pisode upset you. Take time 100th Old Gold. And presto! . ic again. Darn clever . . . the IES TRY A Qi rage Three t Feed the law asked. "I had to. I had stolen the bicickle," Maybry answered, "Oh that is O. K. but why cant you come to jail?" "I cant because I'm too drunk." "Thats O. K. Well good night." Bill Brown leaving * President's Ball Home town sponsor there * that was all Lester Webb * on mortgage hill Poor boy * he's trying still [ OF MIND PATER" nped down on my the old bean, went eg, pretty smooth." The whole gang at ' to Mangel's, too." On sorority row, ps?" gel's aylor Street iix l#as? 0/(/ Cyo/e/ train just . . . don't out for a . . You'll 'se O. Gs -ootfi OLD GOLD