University of South Carolina Libraries
1 ' r i ' . V ' " : " " . V '" i LI li r T i- : .1 " The Horsedoctor * . " , Overhauled 1908 R. G. BELL, First Editor Published I day fray of almost every week during the college year by the Literary Sagaieties of the University of South Carolina in conjunction with the School of Education Gazette Entered as low class matter at the postofflce at Columbia, S. C., November 20. 1908 Member of South Carolina College I'ress Association ami National College l'rets Association Subscription Hate?$2.00 per week, tlve cents per vcali. Circulation, pretty good. Advertising rates furnished if request is accompanied by $5 bribe and self-addressed, stumped envelop. Officers in basement ol Extension Building iHazed in 192V). Vacated with this issue. Phone 8123 ?Exteiuion 11. Executive Board Cy Knittwyt - Editor Joe E. Brown - Business Manager J. C. "Him" Sullivan - Managing Editor Two Buck Tim - Circulation Manager ASSOCIATES Hilly I aval, Luke MctJlukes, Willie Dean, and the Janitors of Tenements 7, 15. "0, and 28, Associate Editors; Uncle Fruit, Marshall Cantey, H. M. Kennedy and Marshall Williams, Associate Managing Editors. HEl'OKTOKIAL Mrs. Moon, News Editor; Oscar Keith, Sports Editor; Kemper Cooke, Alumni Editor; Sam lioudreaux. Fraternity Editor; J. Wylie Drown, Vespers Editor; Anion llarrelson, Y. M. C. A. Editor; Hoxanna, V. W. C. A. Editor. Earl Clary, Coed Editor; Nelson Fort son, Poetry Editor; Harney Early, Sorority_ Editor; Uec T. Daniel, Feature Editor. King Keyserling, Adolph Ochs, Guiseppe Zangara, John Bolt Culbertson, (!eorge A. Buchanan, Jr., and Beatrice Snipes, Assistants. BIZ/, NESS Noah Vail, Jestv James. L. T. "Jig-Saw" Baker, J. U. "Sashweight" Watts, Assistant Business Managers: I,. B. Owens, Abie Bihari, Frankie DeMars, Jackie Chase, and Burnett Stonev, Assistant Circulation Managers. CHIIMNC! FOK Negro Co-eds Higher pay for Athletes Lower pay for Professors Heductioii in the mfmber of class cuts allowed ltecognitioii of Soviet Hussia: Ne|K>tisin, Erisin, Nudism jlHl APRIL 1, 19133 Former Editor Goes Crazy William Coluinbus (Billy Boy) Herbert, who a few, and only a few, students will remember atntended this institution last year, was yesterday admitted to the State Hospital a raving maniac described as "in a dangerous state.*' And the Horsedoctor regrets that its management had I something to do with Billy Boy's getting in this : I condition. Quite innocently the editor asked Billy | Boy to contribute material for this issue. Being an obliging soul and having edited a paper of this I color before, he agreed. Taking his typewriter in I lap, he launched a story which in finished form was I Quite mirth-provoking. Ilis next was funny but not so much as the first. The following story was lacking altogether in humor and the next would have been suitable for publication in the sanest t daily. By this time, Herbert was frothing at the H mouth. As humor had left him, so had his sense powers. The two were interchangeable in Herbert, hospital attaches said, and as he lost his sense of humor he lost also his power to think and reason. H The Horsedoctor regrets this error and takes this means of correcting it. V. B. O. "G-ive Professors Fifteen Minutes," Say Students Out of ten students selected at random who were interviewed, all were of the opinion that professors should be given fifteen minutes to reach class instead of ten as is the custom at present. Those interviewed were Amon llarrelson. King Iveyserling, Wysong Cox, Earl Clary, Freeman Iluskey, Nelson Kortson, Sam Galloway. B. M. Ilavird, Joe Shinn and Joe Johnson. The interview was suggested by Amon Harrelson's action in reporting a class for leaving at nine and a half minutes after the hour. Dr. Murchison arrived at ten minutes after the hour to find that only llarrelson remained of the entire class. Brandishing his watch, llarrelson showed that the class had walked out too soon. "I tried to keep them here," he said, "but they wouldn't listen to me." Rather than hold a class with only one pupil in it, Dr. Murchison and llarrelson adjourned to t lie beer garden. Graduating < I yb ^ I BLyfr v i. V ^bBi mkf WdL / J Reading from wrong to right: Standing; Blondie Aln Robbingsome, Francis Cartwheel, Lawn Colt Culbertor Space, Jr., and All-in McDougall. "Bathing Suit, Spats For Me"? " Williamson "Tuxedoes are hal'd to procure in these here hard times and I think a good stiff bosommed bathing suit accompanied by rose colored spats oughter be appropriate for any respectable dance," Leonard Williamson, president of the student body said in 1 a prepared speech l>efore a meeting of the student body in the penthouse over Dr. Foster's office 1 yesterday. The ilorsedoctor commends the terse and well- ( phrased statement of Williamson's and stands be- | hind him to the last bit. This and similar acts I have convinced the student body that its president is a man of strong convictions worthy of a student ' body like the University's which is also worthy of strong convictions like Williamson's which are also worthy of a student body like the University. And the same vica versa. Other drastic changes were urged by William- J son. "This student body ought to pay two ($2) dol- ; lars instead of one for admission to the Carolina- < Cleinson game and twice as much as the Clemson 1 students to get into the fairgrounds (tremendous ' applause). ; "The number of cuts allowed ought to be reduced < to an irreducible minimum or lower. (Prolonged applause and whistling). "What we need are fewer football players and i more marble shooters and fencers." i Here the applause grew so deafening that Dr. ' Foster came in and broke up the meeting, declaring ] he would continue to have good football players ( brought to the University if it broke the athletic i association and that the students would be ad- 1 mitted free of charge to the Clemson-Carolina 1 game or there would be no contest. s Those present at the meeting were President i ^ illiamson, Secretary Tooley Gressette and James 1 IT. Galloway. Galloway said he was in sympathy 1 with no part of Williamson's speech but he feit [ good and wanted to aggrevate Dr. Foster so he j applauded whenever the occasion presented itself, l Three hundred and fifty students were turned 1 away due to lack of seating arrangements. The r meeting was scheduled for the chapel but Secretary r Gressette objected, declaring he would rather have S a full house in Dr. Foster's penthouse with some I turned away than hold the meeting in the chapel, which scats four hundred, and have fifty vacant ( seats. c f U. 8. O. | Too Many Tennis Courts < There are many useless things at this institu- f tion which would probably be done away with were it not so well heeled financially but even in . the face of its wealth there is one item of expense s which should be materially reduced. That item pertains to tennis courts. About twice as many ^ courts exists as are needed. AValk about the campus any afternoon and the reason becomes np- c parent at once. Where there formerly was a wait- i ing line of four persons to pay doubles there now c is only a waiting line of two who want to play ] singles. Singles is a waste of time and money. * Four benefit from doubles while only two benefit ! from a singles match. Do away with half of the , courts and students will have to play doubles. ] Thus time and effort will be saved. 1 If officials balk at thef idea of scrapping eight or ] ten of the courts in order to double the waiting i line, the Ilorsedoctor suggests that those courts < which are selected to be scrapped be equipped with ? P?ng tables. Sixteen such tables could be placed on each court and while students were wait- ] ing on a court on which to play tennis they could amuse themselves and at the same time derive ] healthful exercise in a few games of ping pong. ' Students who do not know how to play ping pong ' could substitute tennis balls and recquet and play J tennis on the tables. Class Of 1933 ! ? ? < i c 1 ' I I I I ! I nmond, Frances Paula Revere, Frostbitten Wilker, Windy i# J?kc Miller, Sarah ("Pink") Pills, Philip Space, Philip . ? 1 Horse* 7 ails WHILE THERE'S LIFE? A recent development necessitated by the depression is the removal of the Tri Delts from their present club rooms on Green Street to the building known as he Door of Hope. Another factor which brought about this change was the girls' proximity to the Kappa Sigmas. Miss Lucy DuBose when questioned on the matter was heard to remark, "Well, it was the Kappa Sigs' fault, not ours. What's a poor girl to do?" REMOTE CONTROL? A story which originated on the Glee Club's trip to Chicago has just crept back to these parts. It seems that during their concert in the Windy City the audience became very obstreperous and >n occasion joined in the singing. The reason for this was that when the Caro,ina songbirds opened their mouths to fodel the auditorium was so filled with ilcoholic fumes that the listeners were :ompletely asphixiated. TOO MUCH? A recent graduate whose ability as a :oper was tested and proved during his four years here, was up to his old tricks jnder a table at the Metro last Sunday I light. He was weeping copiously and amcnting his lost love. From his inroherent babblings the following was J >ieced together. He had secured a posiion as Fuller Brush salesman in Savan- I lab and was working every other week ;o that he could drink during the intervening seven days. All was going well mtil he invited a lady to take up her csidence with him. For a while every- I hing was lovely, then the lady became I )eevish at his inability to sell enough ' (rushes to buy more than a quart a day. Mnally she became so incensed that she (ounced a can of pineapple off his era- J lium just to show how she felt 011 the natter. "If she just hadn't selected lineapple! moaned our hero as lie sun- I ided beneath the tablecloth. XT. s. c. .IGON SHOVELS DIRT? Mary Begg Ligon was seen the other lay busily engaged in shoveling debris ?ut of the Carolinian office. A small 'roup gathered around to watch Miss -igon s labors, but few seemed desirous I >f assisting her. "What are you doing?" he was asked. With a sigh she replied, 'I'm merely getting rid of all the dirt eft over from last semester's Carolinian ind it's a job I'm loath to do." Many tudents shared her sentiments. [ ACQUIRING THE HABIT? The Sigma Nu s seem to be very fond I >f the pile of mats in the back of the jym. At almost every dance one of their nembers is seen lying prone on them at >nc time or another during the evening. I It s getting so they have to reserve re-1 :lining space in advance and the waiting ist is said to be very long. At the openng Damas one of their members set a ecord which the others have yet to equal. He slept 011 the mats from twelve o'clock intil five-thirty in the morning and had .0 use a window to make his exit from the building. At the last Social Cabinet jrawl the chapter's lone football player lid the honors. Such consistency is to be ipplauded. PABLE? There were once three little Beers, Mamma Beer, Pappa Beer, and Little Brown Beer. These three lived happily I 11 a keg and were content until one day ilong came old Cimmc D. Penney, the ramptis authority 011 sponges. Professor "iimmc saw the three Beers and they got lis dander up. "I'm a better sponge than ?ny I can tell you about," shouted he as le smacked his greedy lips, lie grasped! lie three Beers one after another and roop! there were 110 more Beers, lie lid the same for all the cousins and I nicies and aunts of the three Beers and ivcntually declaimed, "'sail in the interesh >f sdensh!' Suddenly he turned green uid disappeared around the nearest coricr. Moral: Why try to bring bee? back? It will return of its own accord. INHUMAN? I apers throughout the st;itc recently I announced that the Furman authorities liad decided to sever all relations between I the Furman boys and the Greenville Woman s College girls. Here we wish to enter a protest. Things like that arc to business of the school authorities; they have no right to break up families. What can you expect of the next generation if their progenitors are to be separated forcibly so early in life? SIGNS OF THE TIMES? Now that beer will soon be legal, many students are rejoicing that now Rion McKissick and R. L. Meriwether will no longer have to practice their profession in secret. Plans arc already under way for the opening of their beer garden in Minn Ilall and at present they are en-1 gaged in moving their stock from the old | Intellectual Sin Highbrow A highbrow party in honor of the intellectual snobs of the campus and their guests will be given in The Carolinian office Thursday night to celebrate the birth of the "Ave Literati" number. Admission will be by invitation only. A special numbered edition of The Carolinian, limited to 25 autographed copies, will be.given as souvenirs. The feature of the evening will be a drama dcpiciting the Rise, Fall, and Resurrection of the Soul of Man in Two Acts. Between the acts a delightful musical interlude will be presented by a group of < the more aesthetically inclined artists. The following program has been ar- , ranged. "Serenade Melancolique" (Tschaikowsky), "Kovantchina" (Moussorgsky), "L'Amour de Trois Oranges" (Prokovieff), "Aragonaise" (Massenet), "Caro Mio Bene" (Giordani), and "Airs Russes? Souvenir de Moscou" (Wieniawski). Costumes for the production are being selected from the wardrobes of the Town Theater. After the literary part of the program, delightful refreshments will be enjoyed. Menu Oyster Cocktail Pate de Foies Gras, Caviar, Hearts of Celery, Salted Almonds , Tomato Consomme Rolls Butter Petits Pains Pommcs de Tcrre Au Gratin McScissors Is I Gamecock V ? Oldest Student This picture of Sidney Green, the oldest student at the University, was taken at the end of his ninth year of college. Asked how long he had been in school, he replied: "I don't know, I've lost track." Green matriculated five minutes before Jack Hall did. stand on Pulaski Street to the new location. THE STATE ] GOOD PRI Schools, Colic We can please Bindincj, Encjravincj and Office Supplie the State Printers,Sfaftonei COLUMl We Print The Gamecock obs Pitch Qampus Party ( Potatoes) Polls Verts (Green Peas) j Chicken a la Napoleon Filet Mignon Spumoni Gateaux Glaces ( Cake) Demi-tasse (Coffee) In order that the affair may be intellectual as well as snobbish, the Committee on Invitations deeply regrets having been forced to deny admission to the following snobs: The Misses Faith Brewer of Charlotte, N. C., Eunice Stevenson of Nova Scotia and Columbia Charlotte Coker of Bennettsville, Laverne Hughes of Charleston, L'Artigue Griffin of Columbia, Helen Terry of Columbia, Helen Middleton of Washington, D. C. Catherine Cathcart of Columbia, Elizabeth McDearmon of Appomattox, Va., Susannah Barnwell of Florence, Jane Shaffer of Walterboro, Mary Furtick of Columbia, Lucy Oliver of Columbia, and Mary Lees Graham of Columbia. The Messrs. Boyce Craig of Columbia, J. C. Dowling of Brunson, Julian Bradshcr of Florence, Troy Stokes of Timmonsville, James E. Stroup of York, Alan Schafcr of Little Rock, Dwight Cathcart of Columbia, Frank Gibbcs of Columbia, Bob Coggeshall of DarlingJon, Sanders Guignard of Columbia, John L. Bowden of Hampton, Anion llarrclson of Mullins, and Charles T. Bruce of Columbia. leased As yins 5th P lace Fifth placc was awarded to the Gamecock of the University of South Carolina in the recent contest sponsored by the South Carolina College Press Association which met at Chicora College. The paper from Erskine College received first place and was particularly TIGER RAG Cette, cousin to Oscar Oystere 11 e and nephew of Guiseppe Zangara, who edits the Clemson Tiger, which Bill Leverette failcd to Place in the college newspaper contest at all. Judges held that The Tiger was louzy per se and the editor was probably a cerebroarteriosclerosic, or he wouldn't have had the effrontery to enter his rag in the contest. congratulated for the large number of ads and jokes it contained. Riley Brown, Herbert Giles and Quietus Wardlaw, the representatives of the University publication were ejected from the convention hall for taking no part in the round table discussion. "I think it highly commendable of the Gamecock for achieving such an honor as fifth place considering the small amount of work and great amount of bulling that is done by the staff," said J. Rion McScissors, dean of the School of Jungleism at the University of South Carolina. The prize for the fifth place was a cocktail shaker but the Carolina delegates immediately exchanged it for light globes and scissors and presented them as gifts to the School of Jungleism laboratory. BOOK STORE NTING for ges, Business \ you in Printing, , Books, Stationery s. Company *s,Officc furniture haS.C. Exper( Fountain Pen Repairing