The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, April 01, 1933, Page Page Fore, Image 5
1 ' r i ' . V ' " : " " . V '" i LI li r T i- : .1 "
The Horsedoctor
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Overhauled 1908
R. G. BELL, First Editor
Published I day fray of almost every week during the college
year by the Literary Sagaieties of the University of South Carolina
in conjunction with the School of Education Gazette
Entered as low class matter at the postofflce at Columbia, S. C.,
November 20. 1908
Member of South Carolina College I'ress Association ami National
College l'rets Association
Subscription Hate?$2.00 per week, tlve cents per vcali. Circulation,
pretty good. Advertising rates furnished if request is accompanied by
$5 bribe and self-addressed, stumped envelop. Officers in basement ol
Extension Building iHazed in 192V). Vacated with this issue. Phone
8123 ?Exteiuion 11.
Executive Board
Cy Knittwyt - Editor
Joe E. Brown - Business Manager
J. C. "Him" Sullivan - Managing Editor
Two Buck Tim - Circulation Manager
ASSOCIATES
Hilly I aval, Luke MctJlukes, Willie Dean, and the Janitors of Tenements
7, 15. "0, and 28, Associate Editors; Uncle Fruit, Marshall Cantey,
H. M. Kennedy and Marshall Williams, Associate Managing Editors.
HEl'OKTOKIAL
Mrs. Moon, News Editor; Oscar Keith, Sports Editor; Kemper Cooke,
Alumni Editor; Sam lioudreaux. Fraternity Editor; J. Wylie Drown,
Vespers Editor; Anion llarrelson, Y. M. C. A. Editor; Hoxanna, V. W.
C. A. Editor.
Earl Clary, Coed Editor; Nelson Fort son, Poetry Editor; Harney
Early, Sorority_ Editor; Uec T. Daniel, Feature Editor.
King Keyserling, Adolph Ochs, Guiseppe Zangara, John Bolt Culbertson,
(!eorge A. Buchanan, Jr., and Beatrice Snipes, Assistants.
BIZ/, NESS
Noah Vail, Jestv James. L. T. "Jig-Saw" Baker, J. U. "Sashweight"
Watts, Assistant Business Managers: I,. B. Owens, Abie Bihari, Frankie
DeMars, Jackie Chase, and Burnett Stonev, Assistant Circulation Managers.
CHIIMNC! FOK
Negro Co-eds
Higher pay for Athletes
Lower pay for Professors
Heductioii in the mfmber of class cuts allowed
ltecognitioii of Soviet Hussia: Ne|K>tisin, Erisin, Nudism
jlHl APRIL 1, 19133
Former Editor Goes Crazy
William Coluinbus (Billy Boy) Herbert, who a
few, and only a few, students will remember atntended
this institution last year, was yesterday
admitted to the State Hospital a raving maniac
described as "in a dangerous state.*' And the
Horsedoctor regrets that its management had
I something to do with Billy Boy's getting in this
: I condition. Quite innocently the editor asked Billy
| Boy to contribute material for this issue. Being
an obliging soul and having edited a paper of this
I color before, he agreed. Taking his typewriter in
I lap, he launched a story which in finished form was
I Quite mirth-provoking. Ilis next was funny but
not so much as the first. The following story was
lacking altogether in humor and the next would
have been suitable for publication in the sanest
t daily. By this time, Herbert was frothing at the
H mouth. As humor had left him, so had his sense
powers. The two were interchangeable in Herbert,
hospital attaches said, and as he lost his sense of
humor he lost also his power to think and reason.
H The Horsedoctor regrets this error and takes this
means of correcting it.
V. B. O.
"G-ive Professors Fifteen
Minutes," Say Students
Out of ten students selected at random who
were interviewed, all were of the opinion that professors
should be given fifteen minutes to reach
class instead of ten as is the custom at present.
Those interviewed were Amon llarrelson. King
Iveyserling, Wysong Cox, Earl Clary, Freeman
Iluskey, Nelson Kortson, Sam Galloway. B. M.
Ilavird, Joe Shinn and Joe Johnson.
The interview was suggested by Amon Harrelson's
action in reporting a class for leaving at nine
and a half minutes after the hour. Dr. Murchison
arrived at ten minutes after the hour to find
that only llarrelson remained of the entire class.
Brandishing his watch, llarrelson showed that the
class had walked out too soon. "I tried to keep
them here," he said, "but they wouldn't listen to
me." Rather than hold a class with only one pupil
in it, Dr. Murchison and llarrelson adjourned to
t lie beer garden.
Graduating <
I yb ^ I
BLyfr v i. V ^bBi mkf
WdL / J
Reading from wrong to right: Standing; Blondie Aln
Robbingsome, Francis Cartwheel, Lawn Colt Culbertor
Space, Jr., and All-in McDougall.
"Bathing Suit, Spats For Me"?
" Williamson
"Tuxedoes are hal'd to procure in these here hard
times and I think a good stiff bosommed bathing
suit accompanied by rose colored spats oughter be
appropriate for any respectable dance," Leonard
Williamson, president of the student body said in 1
a prepared speech l>efore a meeting of the student
body in the penthouse over Dr. Foster's office 1
yesterday.
The ilorsedoctor commends the terse and well- (
phrased statement of Williamson's and stands be- |
hind him to the last bit. This and similar acts I
have convinced the student body that its president
is a man of strong convictions worthy of a student '
body like the University's which is also worthy of
strong convictions like Williamson's which are
also worthy of a student body like the University.
And the same vica versa.
Other drastic changes were urged by William- J
son.
"This student body ought to pay two ($2) dol- ;
lars instead of one for admission to the Carolina- <
Cleinson game and twice as much as the Clemson 1
students to get into the fairgrounds (tremendous '
applause). ;
"The number of cuts allowed ought to be reduced <
to an irreducible minimum or lower. (Prolonged
applause and whistling).
"What we need are fewer football players and i
more marble shooters and fencers." i
Here the applause grew so deafening that Dr. '
Foster came in and broke up the meeting, declaring ]
he would continue to have good football players (
brought to the University if it broke the athletic i
association and that the students would be ad- 1
mitted free of charge to the Clemson-Carolina 1
game or there would be no contest. s
Those present at the meeting were President i
^ illiamson, Secretary Tooley Gressette and James 1
IT. Galloway. Galloway said he was in sympathy 1
with no part of Williamson's speech but he feit [
good and wanted to aggrevate Dr. Foster so he j
applauded whenever the occasion presented itself, l
Three hundred and fifty students were turned 1
away due to lack of seating arrangements. The r
meeting was scheduled for the chapel but Secretary r
Gressette objected, declaring he would rather have S
a full house in Dr. Foster's penthouse with some I
turned away than hold the meeting in the chapel,
which scats four hundred, and have fifty vacant (
seats. c
f
U. 8. O. |
Too Many Tennis Courts <
There are many useless things at this institu- f
tion which would probably be done away with
were it not so well heeled financially but even in .
the face of its wealth there is one item of expense s
which should be materially reduced. That item
pertains to tennis courts. About twice as many ^
courts exists as are needed. AValk about the campus
any afternoon and the reason becomes np- c
parent at once. Where there formerly was a wait- i
ing line of four persons to pay doubles there now c
is only a waiting line of two who want to play ]
singles. Singles is a waste of time and money. *
Four benefit from doubles while only two benefit !
from a singles match. Do away with half of the ,
courts and students will have to play doubles. ]
Thus time and effort will be saved. 1
If officials balk at thef idea of scrapping eight or ]
ten of the courts in order to double the waiting i
line, the Ilorsedoctor suggests that those courts <
which are selected to be scrapped be equipped with ?
P?ng tables. Sixteen such tables could be
placed on each court and while students were wait- ]
ing on a court on which to play tennis they could
amuse themselves and at the same time derive ]
healthful exercise in a few games of ping pong. '
Students who do not know how to play ping pong '
could substitute tennis balls and recquet and play J
tennis on the tables.
Class Of 1933 !
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nmond, Frances Paula Revere, Frostbitten Wilker, Windy
i# J?kc Miller, Sarah ("Pink") Pills, Philip Space, Philip
. ? 1
Horse*
7 ails
WHILE THERE'S LIFE?
A recent development necessitated by
the depression is the removal of the Tri
Delts from their present club rooms on
Green Street to the building known as
he Door of Hope. Another factor which
brought about this change was the girls'
proximity to the Kappa Sigmas. Miss
Lucy DuBose when questioned on the
matter was heard to remark, "Well, it
was the Kappa Sigs' fault, not ours.
What's a poor girl to do?"
REMOTE CONTROL?
A story which originated on the Glee
Club's trip to Chicago has just crept
back to these parts. It seems that during
their concert in the Windy City the
audience became very obstreperous and
>n occasion joined in the singing. The
reason for this was that when the Caro,ina
songbirds opened their mouths to
fodel the auditorium was so filled with
ilcoholic fumes that the listeners were
:ompletely asphixiated.
TOO MUCH?
A recent graduate whose ability as a
:oper was tested and proved during his
four years here, was up to his old tricks
jnder a table at the Metro last Sunday I
light. He was weeping copiously and
amcnting his lost love. From his inroherent
babblings the following was J
>ieced together. He had secured a posiion
as Fuller Brush salesman in Savan- I
lab and was working every other week
;o that he could drink during the intervening
seven days. All was going well
mtil he invited a lady to take up her
csidence with him. For a while every- I
hing was lovely, then the lady became I
)eevish at his inability to sell enough '
(rushes to buy more than a quart a day.
Mnally she became so incensed that she
(ounced a can of pineapple off his era- J
lium just to show how she felt 011 the
natter. "If she just hadn't selected
lineapple! moaned our hero as lie sun- I
ided beneath the tablecloth.
XT. s. c.
.IGON SHOVELS DIRT?
Mary Begg Ligon was seen the other
lay busily engaged in shoveling debris
?ut of the Carolinian office. A small
'roup gathered around to watch Miss
-igon s labors, but few seemed desirous I
>f assisting her. "What are you doing?"
he was asked. With a sigh she replied,
'I'm merely getting rid of all the dirt
eft over from last semester's Carolinian
ind it's a job I'm loath to do." Many
tudents shared her sentiments. [
ACQUIRING THE HABIT?
The Sigma Nu s seem to be very fond I
>f the pile of mats in the back of the
jym. At almost every dance one of their
nembers is seen lying prone on them at
>nc time or another during the evening. I
It s getting so they have to reserve re-1
:lining space in advance and the waiting
ist is said to be very long. At the openng
Damas one of their members set a
ecord which the others have yet to equal.
He slept 011 the mats from twelve o'clock
intil five-thirty in the morning and had
.0 use a window to make his exit from
the building. At the last Social Cabinet
jrawl the chapter's lone football player
lid the honors. Such consistency is to be
ipplauded.
PABLE?
There were once three little Beers,
Mamma Beer, Pappa Beer, and Little
Brown Beer. These three lived happily I
11 a keg and were content until one day
ilong came old Cimmc D. Penney, the
ramptis authority 011 sponges. Professor
"iimmc saw the three Beers and they got
lis dander up. "I'm a better sponge than
?ny I can tell you about," shouted he as
le smacked his greedy lips, lie grasped!
lie three Beers one after another and
roop! there were 110 more Beers, lie
lid the same for all the cousins and I
nicies and aunts of the three Beers and
ivcntually declaimed, "'sail in the interesh
>f sdensh!' Suddenly he turned green
uid disappeared around the nearest coricr.
Moral: Why try to bring bee? back?
It will return of its own accord.
INHUMAN?
I apers throughout the st;itc recently I
announced that the Furman authorities
liad decided to sever all relations between I
the Furman boys and the Greenville Woman
s College girls. Here we wish to enter
a protest. Things like that arc to business
of the school authorities; they have
no right to break up families. What
can you expect of the next generation if
their progenitors are to be separated
forcibly so early in life?
SIGNS OF THE TIMES?
Now that beer will soon be legal, many
students are rejoicing that now Rion McKissick
and R. L. Meriwether will no
longer have to practice their profession
in secret. Plans arc already under way
for the opening of their beer garden in
Minn Ilall and at present they are en-1
gaged in moving their stock from the old |
Intellectual Sin
Highbrow
A highbrow party in honor of the intellectual
snobs of the campus and their
guests will be given in The Carolinian
office Thursday night to celebrate the
birth of the "Ave Literati" number. Admission
will be by invitation only.
A special numbered edition of The
Carolinian, limited to 25 autographed
copies, will be.given as souvenirs. The
feature of the evening will be a drama
dcpiciting the Rise, Fall, and Resurrection
of the Soul of Man in Two Acts.
Between the acts a delightful musical
interlude will be presented by a group of <
the more aesthetically inclined artists.
The following program has been ar- ,
ranged. "Serenade Melancolique" (Tschaikowsky),
"Kovantchina" (Moussorgsky),
"L'Amour de Trois Oranges"
(Prokovieff), "Aragonaise" (Massenet),
"Caro Mio Bene" (Giordani), and "Airs
Russes? Souvenir de Moscou" (Wieniawski).
Costumes for the production are being
selected from the wardrobes of the Town
Theater. After the literary part of the
program, delightful refreshments will be
enjoyed.
Menu
Oyster Cocktail
Pate de Foies Gras, Caviar, Hearts of
Celery, Salted Almonds ,
Tomato Consomme
Rolls Butter Petits Pains
Pommcs de Tcrre Au Gratin
McScissors Is I
Gamecock V
?
Oldest Student
This picture of Sidney Green, the
oldest student at the University, was
taken at the end of his ninth year of
college. Asked how long he had been
in school, he replied: "I don't know,
I've lost track." Green matriculated
five minutes before Jack Hall did.
stand on Pulaski Street to the new location.
THE STATE ]
GOOD PRI
Schools, Colic
We can please
Bindincj, Encjravincj
and Office Supplie
the State
Printers,Sfaftonei
COLUMl
We Print The Gamecock
obs Pitch
Qampus Party
( Potatoes)
Polls Verts (Green Peas) j
Chicken a la Napoleon Filet Mignon
Spumoni Gateaux Glaces
( Cake)
Demi-tasse (Coffee)
In order that the affair may be intellectual
as well as snobbish, the Committee
on Invitations deeply regrets having
been forced to deny admission to the
following snobs: The Misses Faith
Brewer of Charlotte, N. C., Eunice
Stevenson of Nova Scotia and Columbia
Charlotte Coker of Bennettsville, Laverne
Hughes of Charleston, L'Artigue Griffin
of Columbia, Helen Terry of Columbia,
Helen Middleton of Washington, D. C.
Catherine Cathcart of Columbia, Elizabeth
McDearmon of Appomattox, Va.,
Susannah Barnwell of Florence, Jane
Shaffer of Walterboro, Mary Furtick of
Columbia, Lucy Oliver of Columbia, and
Mary Lees Graham of Columbia.
The Messrs. Boyce Craig of Columbia,
J. C. Dowling of Brunson, Julian
Bradshcr of Florence, Troy Stokes of
Timmonsville, James E. Stroup of York,
Alan Schafcr of Little Rock, Dwight
Cathcart of Columbia, Frank Gibbcs of
Columbia, Bob Coggeshall of DarlingJon,
Sanders Guignard of Columbia, John
L. Bowden of Hampton, Anion llarrclson
of Mullins, and Charles T. Bruce of
Columbia.
leased As
yins 5th P lace
Fifth placc was awarded to the
Gamecock of the University of South
Carolina in the recent contest sponsored
by the South Carolina College
Press Association which met at
Chicora College.
The paper from Erskine College received
first place and was particularly
TIGER RAG
Cette, cousin to
Oscar Oystere
11 e and
nephew of
Guiseppe Zangara,
who edits
the Clemson
Tiger, which
Bill Leverette failcd to Place
in the college
newspaper contest at all. Judges
held that The Tiger was louzy per
se and the editor was probably a
cerebroarteriosclerosic, or he wouldn't
have had the effrontery to enter
his rag in the contest.
congratulated for the large number of
ads and jokes it contained. Riley
Brown, Herbert Giles and Quietus
Wardlaw, the representatives of the
University publication were ejected
from the convention hall for taking no
part in the round table discussion.
"I think it highly commendable of
the Gamecock for achieving such an
honor as fifth place considering the
small amount of work and great
amount of bulling that is done by the
staff," said J. Rion McScissors, dean
of the School of Jungleism at the
University of South Carolina.
The prize for the fifth place was a
cocktail shaker but the Carolina delegates
immediately exchanged it for
light globes and scissors and presented
them as gifts to the School of Jungleism
laboratory.
BOOK STORE
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