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COEDS ATTACK I MAGGIE WHITE 5 AND HER MUTT 6 , Miss Maggie White, maiden lady, and her pediculous brown dog, Trixie, have been, by the unanimous co-operation of the Carolina coeds, bodily and emphatically ejected, evicted, expelled, dislodged, defenestrated, and ousted from their joint position as dietitian of the Woman's Cafeteria. (This article not written by Have A. Lie Babcock.) In defense of their drastic procedure, the girls relate the following incidents: Yesterday, Trixie, the dog, escaped from the vigilant eye of Miss White, and began to parade up and down the counter over which the food is served. When the creature poked her nose into what is supposed to be chicken pie, but which is really composed of dough, bones, rat tails, and worms, Maggie emitted a little shriek, caught up her darling in her arms and sc.id chidingly, "Trixie, don't you know better than to taste anything first? How many times have I told you not to touch the food until some of the girls have tried it?" j I Girls Rise Up Momentarily a profound hush descended upon the lunchroom. Then the diners rose as if with one accord; a roar of rage resounded through the building. Maggie, seeing the resentful eyes fastened upon her, realized her "faux pas" and began to sidle furtively to the kitchen door. But before she could effect her escape Verna Ayer laid violent, though justly retributive hands upon her. "Revenge 1 Revenge 1" echoed this doughty leader of the fight for emacipation. "Let's make her eat her own foodl" shouted Marie Odom. "Stuff that pie down her throat 1" yelled Edith Carlyle. "Scratch her eyes outl Pull her hair outl" shrieked Charlotte Bobbitt. "Drown that dratted Trixie in the wormy soupl" screamed Katie Bogen. Clutching fingers buried themselves in the abundant mop of hair upon the victim's head. The whole coiffure was lifted and removed without difficulty and tossed into the gravy. "Give me a spoon 1 She's got to eat this grass 1" bellowed Mildred Pate. The soggy, greasy greens that had been served for the seventh time that week were propelled down her throat. The whole pan of chicken pie seemed to rise up and diffuse itself with a plop all over her head, face, and body, Trixie and Maggie Evicted "Now for Trixie 1 Into the soup with that pain-in-the-neck!" shrieked the Bradham twins. Trixie, yelping, howling, and whimpering with abject terror was thrust headfirst into the dish water that had been served every day since last September 15. To cap the climax, the infuriated [THEjjtEsl Now Play in {f MARLENE DIETRICH VICTOR McLAGLEN in "DISHONORED" T hursday-Friday-Saturday WILLIAM HAINES in "TAILOR MADE MAN" Now Playing "KIKE" with MARY PICKFORD REGINALD DENNY ; . \ jThursday-Friday-Saturday "BODY AND SOUL" with CHARLES FARRELL ELISSA LANDI MYRNA LOY COMING "BIRTH OF A NATION" (First Time in Sound) ^ L# Do You , "... ' \ .. : V: . ' ' ?v\ ' '?ulv ^ ^ | v <i) (1) An oil painting of the new jo teson, who recently attained notoriety reception room. (4) Huck Sawyer, offi Foster as the mascot of the football t 'Twelfth Night" Proves Disastrous Failure Turns Out as Greatest Flop Ever Witnessed in State of South Carolina Rehearsals for "Twelfth Night" were completed last Tuesday night (second night) and the delightful belly-acher was presented before six people at the chapel last Monday. The Yellow Sheet has been informed that no one turned up for the other performances. Out of the six people witnessing the production Monday night, four asked for their money back. Mr. and Mrs. William Dean completed the audience. The setting must have been created at the State Hospital. Any one that thinks Shakespeare wrote for a setting such as designed for this play docs a grave injustice to the noble bard. The gunnysack portieres at the front of the stage were the only decent looking thing present. The costumes for the players and actors had been purchased in a fire sale down on Assembly street. They looked it, too. The scveneteen settings of the play : were aided in the grand flop by one ! of the largest, sorriest, dumbest casts ever assembled by any excuse of a producer in this section. When such well-known pains as Margaret Mann, Wilmot Jacobs, Nancy Phillips, Sanders Guignard, Ruth Hunt, and Professor Joe Stokes, are put in a play, no doubt remains in the mind of the darndest moron in this state that the production will be a flop. coeds pitched Maggie and her dog through the window pane into the garbage pail. The next morning the trash man gathered them up with the other refuse, and deposited them at the dog hospital. Sympathetic friends can now find them at that institution suffering from acute indigestion. I Unusual opportunities for mei ance field. Old line insurance with low c SOUTHEASTERN Orgam C. O. Milford, President So Capital, Surplus and Reserves f four million dollars. I UNIVERSITY CO-( The C University Gamecock 1 Operated for the Students and Profits go into Stu< If we haven't what yoii wi "The Center c i j , * . * f*< : -.-. .- . .. v . . > Know Your Ui 1';; , V ' ' V * 9 urnalism building, drawn up by Colonel by his divorce from Madam Doormat, icial bell ringer of the University. (5) 1 earn. POPULAR STUDENT PLACED IN JAIL FACES SERIOUS CHARGE Accused of Duelling and Making : Violent Love to Married Woman Carolina mourns the loss of its most popular man. Last night John C. Bulvcrtson, prominent blue nosed freshman, was jailed after engaging in a duel at sunrise behind the gymnasium with Maxie J. Verilise. Bulvertson, candidate for May Queen, is therefore ineligible because the state law requires the officeholder to swear that he has not engaged in a duel since 1889. When questioned concerning the duel, both men refused to answer, but it has been ascertained that Bulvertson has been flirting with the wife of Verilise and had been caught with Mrs. Verilise seated in a very embarrassing position on his lap. The case will be tried next month and will no doubt reveal much scandal in Mr. Bulvertson's life. It is thought that he will write a sex book entitled, "My Three Days in the Infirmary," or "Roseola". Two other interesting aspects that have appeared in the case to date are that Mrs. Verilise yesterday gave birth to triplets, thereby complicating the case considerably. There should be a law against such things. And now it is revealed that Mr. Bulvertson is a Mormon and has six wives in Kalamazoo, each having two kids. u. s. c. Aubrey: Why do you keep going with Mary Evelyn? Monty: Because I like to. Aubrey: Like to what? Johnny Scott: Let's sit this one out, no one will be the wiser. Nancy: Oh, yes, you will. Mr. Horton: You say you can't live without mj^ daughter? Roy: Well, not as a gentleman i should, sir. l who wish to enter the life insurost guaranteed?not estimated, LIFE INSURANCE Ized. 1905 utheastern Bldg., Greenville, S. C. or protection of policyholders over | )PERATIVE STORE lanteen Book Store 'rotting Club Owned by the Student Body. All lent Activities Fund ant, tell us, and 'well get it ti the Camput" ~ ~ _ "I I H ' I " hi 1 ' '=g ' " " \ " * ' " ?V * *? '*" niversity ? A A ' K ^R^O' m (5) (4) J. Rion McKissick. (2) Maurice Mat(3) Left corner of new Y. W. C. A. ["he horse doctor, substituted by Dr. Sales Service Lancaster Auto Co. Authorized Ford Dealers iJl Patronize Our Advertisers Big Si ' ' ''. /'{'J?'.'+i li\ If '' '/ it . .0.: ' ''fv , 'w a 7\ ** ** I ' / lit ~ Man i iVhifafr m iiV ' mi r' v iAii / JUDGE EXPOSED (Continued from pag$ on*) the hands of the capable Yatea Williams and said, "You do it." The, valiant Williams proved equal to the occasion and rallying his loyal supporters around him spread the sticky,! stinky tar over Judyey. Someone threw the feathers and all of them happened to light on the coal black form of the ex-president of Carolina. "Take me away," Mary wailed, but her efforts were wasted as all attention was still centered on Judge. Too late to be in on the feathering, the coeds, headed by Mrs. Graham, SHOE RE 20% OFF To StucU Phon. Ua 6706 A GUARANTEE V SANDIFER DO YOUR CLOTI Let us help to keep you spotless small and the The Canteen and the G # THE CAROLINA D Phone 8156 "The House The R. L. BOOKS, SI STUDENT Printer* of "1 1440 Main Street tyleCl ) Men'i (, Gray Prices | $25 $ Bssl \ v>/Mvv; m I New desigj |f rich shad m soft fini f See \ Bask? f i i * ihall-T i.. . ' - . .. . ?? ? Prof, Crow: That's a fine little Austin you have. J bet it it convenient for parking in city traffic. Red McCall: Yep, but it is even taore convenient for sparking in the country. maid of the hen house, dashed up and provided the much needed pole. The tarred figure was speedily hooted on the pole and the motley procession proceeded down Sumter street. At the corner of Gervais and Sumter the body was turned to the left and continued the march to Orangeburg where Judge was summarily dumped on the Claffin campus, amid the doleful howls of the colored students. PAIRING mts Only - 20% OFF 71TB EVERY JOB & EPTING 'm A""?b'7 IES GET DIRTY? ? and well groomed. The cost is reward great amecocfa are our agents RY CLEANING CO. 1608 Barnwell St. % ( of Quality" Bryan Co. "ATIONERY SUPPLIES Tie Gamecock" p Columbia, S. C. I J? s -V '-1*31 lange w in " | s Suits \ !== shades of and Tan anted . p within reach very man 30 *35 ' ns in wonderful es in hard and ' M isned fabrics . . the New t Weaves 1=1 \ ' . tv atumjl I