University of South Carolina Libraries
I BABCOCK TURNS I TABLE BUILDER resigns from faculty Young Son Outclasses Literary Pop as Meal Support Earner Dr. Havilah Babcock, sometime professor of English at the University of South Carolina, hknded in his resignation to Doctor Douglas last week. The following was his reason as stated by himself in his letter to the president: "Dear Sir: Much as I regret to deprive this great institution of my skillful and unerring guidance, I find that I must discontinue my position, for the avocation of teaching is consuming far more of my leisure time than H can afford to spare. You are doubt. lessly aware of the fact that I have been interested in carpentry for many years. Now that I have made my pile by pedagogy, I shall devote the remainder of !ty allotted span to my true calling." But when Doctor Douglas happened to meet Huckleberry Finn Babcock on the street the other day and asked him why his daddy quit the faculty, the precocious youngster responded matter-of-factly: "Oh, daddy's building tables. He made so much noise with his bamming, anil messed up the house so with nails and screws that mother put him out in the back yard. She let him come in the house for meals at first, but he stopped washing his face and hands, so now he has to eat out in the wood shed." "Building tables?" gasped the astounded Doctor Douglas. "Yeah, he thinks he was cut out for a carpenter, but he and I both made a mahogany table last week. I sold mine for $1.50, and the furniture man said his wasn't good enough to be thrown on the junk pile. He says he ain't gonna quit 'till he builds one as good as mine!" u. s. c. Wanted?An assistant to help me read postcards. Mrs. Moon. For Kent?Comfortable apartment to young married couple with southern exposure. Apply Woman's Building. Notice?Will the freshman who received the $5.00 from Miss Jessie Coleman deliver the same to Jimmy Brailsford immediately. This money was borrowed by Miss Coleman to go to the Citadel Hop. Brailsford owes Johnny Scott $2.50 and can't pay him until Miss Coleman pays him back. Scott is think, ing of attaching Brailsford's clothes. Hurry freshman. | JEFFERSt R. T. ROSEMf Columb RADIO IN E1 "Honestly, It*a t) | WINCHESTER GRA ATLANTIC LIFE 702-703 Pair / Business Training is Essential to Everyone, Par1 ticularly College Men and Women. Day, Night, and Special Classes. Draughon's Business College 1218 Sumter Street r? JESSAMINE CLOTHES $22.50 Suit $6.00 Extra Pant* if*"'' Kuppenhelmar 8ulU $40 to $65 COPELAND CO. IMS MAIN ST. Clau! BREAD ROi : - 1 ? I^SARGEANT 1628 Main "Photograph& t |B Happy, isn't she? This young lady, Hattie Mae Still, has a right to be, for she has just learned from last year's Yellow Sheet" that she is going to be run for May Queen next year. She is a Delta Zeta pledge. MERCER INDULGES IN A COLD BATH Charles Frankfurter Mercer, the bold, bad man (?) from Chicago, lias recently affiliated himself with one of these here Sigma Phi Kappa. Frankfurter (short for Frank) has just come back from a trip North. He seems to enjoy telling about when he and the other gangsters talked over old times over a sociable mug of beer (?). There arc many humorous anecodates told about him. The most interesting one follows: Frankfurter, when he was a small boy, went in swimming one day. (We wager he needed a bath.) While swimming, he saw a big crocodile coming towards him. He expected the beast to immediately devour him but instead, the animal, who had a sense of humor, merely remarked, "Stokes was right, after all." This story is true, and by sending a stamped, self-addressed envelope, you can get, in full, the statement of Mr. Crocodile. Some great mind has remarked to this effect: "Some day Frankfurter's shoes are going to have a party and invite his pants down." We once heard that Frankfurter was a great actor, in fact, we know positively that he keeps a scrap-book of clippings from the writeups of all the jilays that he has starred (?) in. His vanity was tickled when lie was chosen to play the lead role of "Charley's Aunt" in the recent production by that name, presented by local talent. It seems that this play contains a lot of truth. On several occasions, he remarks that he is Charley's Aunt, from Brazil, where the nuts come from, )N HOTEL )ND, Manager ia, S. C. VERY ROOM ie Best Policy" HAM, General Agent INSURANCE CO. netto Bldg. ; * WILSE W. MARTIN Harness Maker Luggage & Leather Goods Dealer & Repairer SHOE FIXER Auto Top Maker Phone 6820 1116-1118 Hampton St. iSetiS XS CAKES ' PHOTO CO. Phone 6607 rhat Satisfy*' THE VALUE A Speech to the Upperclassmer Sponsored by the Vocatio Under the Direction of The field of necking is comparatively new, even more so than that of aviation, though the best neckers sometimes get high. It is practically a virgin field, but not entirely, not even as much as you would expect. Though the methods were recognized as long as fifty years ago, the present generation is the first to develop it or make extensive use of it as a social and economic institution. It forms one of the most flourishing industries in New York, an^l seems not to have been hurt by the recent period of depression. The University has done everything possible to encourage public necking; it has placed "Park Here" signs at strategic points on the campus, and has even gone so far as to put lights behind the gymnasium and on the east side of Davis college. In this the authorities have been guided by the Bible, which says, "Let there be light." What has necking done fon me? Well, personally it hasn't done me any good, because I don't do it with sufficient regularity. But to you, my young friends, it should be helpful in many ways. The poets and philosophers tell us that the highest thing in life is to feel beautiful things. And some of the mystics go even farther and tell us that we should feel not only through our eyes and ears and mind, but with our I whole body. This fact is attested by even the most prosaic of us when we greet each other with, "How do you feel?" Some prudish people may reply, "I don't feel, I'm not that kind of a girl." Granted then that we should feel beautiful things, the question arises, "What is the most beautiful thing in the world?" And the answer to that question, though it depends to some extent on one's point of view, is of vital importance. I think it a serious mistake to have given the most beautiful girl at the University a pair of pajamas. She should have been given nothing at all. The same applies to the handsomest boy, for the benefit of the girls. The beauties of the human form divine should be displayed as freely a jl Sassified Ads | Lost?One fountain pen by a coed half full of ink. Wanted?A girl to milk cow who speaks French. Wanted?More students in Engineering Physics class. For Sale?Five inches of my height. Apply to Lib Neil. Wanted?More boys to take to Burnetts. Mary E. Dye. Reward?To anyone who thinks the Yellow Sheet is funny. Wanted?One set of lecture cards. See Prof. Babbling Brook. For Sale?Cheap, has never been used, one book on Etiquette. Earnest Lucas. Wanted?One bottle of Kink Proof hair tonic, scarlet shade preferred. Louis Floyd. Wanted?Men to take "crip" courses. All courses offered by me guaranteed to be "crips." C. F. Mercer. Wanted?A student who cannot make more than a grade of B in one of my French classes. O. L. Keith. For, Sale?Cheap. Assorted line of dingles. Only worn slightly. Reason selling?my last year at Carolina. Faith DeLoache. Lost?Strayed or stolen; one red bicycle with red wheels. Finder please notify Professor Meriwether and receive an A on history. _____ Wanted?Some effective sprinkler system for my classroom, it is so dry that it is not possible to see the professor for the dust. Doctor Lipscomb. For Sale?A black military cape, excellent for winter wear, reason for selling I want to buy a book on the advantages of Greenville. Yates Snowden. Wanted?A girl for two weeks. Any coed will do. A card dropped to the following address will give you a beau for a fortnight. T. W. D., 805 Henderson Street. Stolen?A Monroe Calculating machine from my office. Reward and no Questions asked if returned. I cannot work any math problems now. J. B. Coleman. Wanted?Someone to smoke my new brand of two for a nickle cigars. Suitable for classroom use. All lawyers using them will recdve a grade of A. "Roos(?" McKadden. , OF NECKING II 1 Hugh R. Murchison; nal Guidance Committee, Mrs. Grace Sweeney as possible, so as to encourage the I growth of aesthetic appreciation among the youth. In addition, necking is of great benefit to the musicians, since it creates a market for both hot and cool num-1 bers. The hotsy-totsy fox-trots are "k great stimulus to necking, and then after everybody is exhausted there's nothing so soothing as a nice refined waltz. I don't believe in playing music J at the messhall, however, because it's kind of hard to neck on an empty I stomach, and I'm one of those old-1 fashioned people who like food with their meals. The value of necking, though not fully appreciated, was acknowledged I in the early days of this country. This fact is attested by such place-names as Great Neck, Little Neck, Bottle Neck, etc. The first primitive form of necking was probably the half| nelson by which the cave-man carried off his latest wife. The Greeks and Romans have left many statues of their heroes, most of them showing nothing but the head and neck of the , subject. The necks all seem to be well developed, though there was only one Cleopatra. In the Middle Ages everything was corrupted, and the human neck served merely as a suspension medium. Those of you who have studied chemistry will know what a suspension medium is. But with the coming of the Reformation and the Renaissance, necking again came into its own. One of ( France's greatest statesmen was named Necker, though Germany also claims him. And even today one of our super| men is called Rubber-neck Nelson. The requirements for necking are few, and the reward great. All that is needed are a steady hand, an eye for j beauty, and an unbreakable will. An iron constitution also comes in handy, though this is not absolutely necessary. A?d remember, my young friends, if you would look the whole world in the face you must be able to answer affirmatively life's great question: Have you a little necker in your home? Dubinstein Is Deprived Of Faith In Mankind "Blooey" Rosen was caught last night with a coed in his room by Judge Blankcad, on his annual trip through the tene-1 mcnts. There were three other men in the room at the time but they escaped through the trap door in the floor. Their identity has not been revealed, but it is thought that they were Yank Karesh, Ruford Worthy and Sidney Adrams, famous yodeler and xylophonist. The girl who was in the room is Miss Hester Dubinstein, member of the Damus Club, the Sigma Sigma Rho sorority and other campus skin games I and societies. Miss Dubinstein declined to comment at length on her exposure, I but told reporters, "He promised to marry me. I sec it all now; he was only trying to lead me astray. I shall never again trust a man." Rosen for his part declared that he did not even know that Miss Dubinstein was in the room at the time, as she was accustomed to leave every night about twelve o'clock. He also stated that it was a frameup between Blankhead and Abrams, declaring them both to be crooks, liars and thieves. further light is shed on the case, when Champ Edmunds, former roommate of Rosen's, declared that he could not sleep for several nights due to Miss Dubinstein's presence in the room. He also stated that Rosen went so far as to invite her to stay overnight, and he had offered to assist in putting the three beds together so that they could enjoy the night's sleep, but Hester declined, saying that she had to go home to dream about her darling Abe. "Flowers That UTA1LHKDMM T?l?phone 4?2? 144} Main St Southern Teachers' Agency Covers the Sooth Five Offices. One Registration Continuous Membership Places Many Carolina Men and Women Columbia, S. CH Memphis, Tenn. Richmond, Va., Louisville, Ky. , Chattanooga, Tenn ^ A picture taken of Oxcar L. Keith during his student days at the University. The resemblance to Lawson Scott is remarkable, several students have said. Professor Keith's latest honor is having placed in the faculty statistical contest. LOOSE A. D7 PIES GRABBED BY LAW Twelve members of Alpha Deltta Pi local petting sorority, were seized by members of the Columbia vice squad last Tuesday night upon charges, not revealed, in a warrant sworn out by the negroes who live in the section below the sorority house. The arrests were, made by four members of the local police force. When incarcerated at the local jail, the girls, in various stages of dress and undress, were questioned by members of the Methodist Women's Purity Society. Misses Sand, Richer, Kasley, Die, Legging and Stones were taken to a local hospital to sober up. The other four women were not recognized by relatives but a check-up is being made of missing members. Attempts are being made to remove their make-up with a compress drill. Two, Mary Sinckney an(! Elizabeth Freighton, were sent to the reformatory. ' i \ s I I i Anno the timely Braeburn Uni\ I | Colorful, gay, oric fying, and cert | ? Spring Braeburns with extra knick I $34; KINA 1523 HI RALPH NEWMAN, ? ----NUDE ACROBATS PHOTOGRAPHED FOR ART DEPARTMENT Editor of Annual Denies Charges of Espionage From Suite in Pen Nude photographs of more than 30 co-ed acrobats and gymnasts taken in very broad daylight in the University gymnasium are the objects of a plea of the University "Artists Models" depart- ' ' ment for use in stiller poses than can be attained with the originals as models. The mails refuse to transport them, however. A lusty appeal from the art department to Chief Injustice Vardell E. Nesmitli and Misjudge Yancey Alford McLeod of the campus judiciary, failed to bring the strongly desired authorization for sending the "pictshows" through the mails. "We hereby hold and decree," stated the Chief Injustice, "that these so-called photographs, which the Court has privately inspected and believes to be French postcards, should never be sent through the mails. In fact, they should in no way be commingled or associated with the mails for their mutual benefit, hard though they may see it." Misjudge McLeod, awaking from a deep dream ot peace, as in "Achmet Abdullah may his tribe increase," concurred heartily in the opinion of Chief Injustice Nesmith. "It is wrong," Misjudge McLeod asserted. "Personally, I can't sec what's wrong with it, but I feel it is wrong." Waldie E. Bushaw, photographic editor of the Garnet atid Black, is in the Federal penitentiary charged with espionage. He took the pictures, et cetera, without the knowledge or consent of the posees, it is charged. "It's a lie," Bushaw shouted incoherently from the depths of his dungeon. "Neither my camera nor I could stand it." u. s. c. Imported Girl: How long have you been at Carolina? Inebriated Frosh: Ask me some other time, I can't remember right now. S J m I \ i ' '? nf . i vg\ I I ' /F\ I uncing I arrival of j || /ersity Clothes | J ;! 3'inal, entirely satisainly inexpensive, are available, all I g $391 I lRD'S I Campus Representative jjj|