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ZIMMERMAN FIRED ON BY BLANKHEAI WAS TAKEN FOR BEAR "It's a grizzly," scrcamcd a panic stricken co-cd, as she and her friend began to run. "Shoot, shoot, shoot!" nervous boy shouted to Judge Blankhead from thei perches in nearby trees. It was 8 o'clock on the sunshin morning of April 1, and a huge, hain ferocious looking bear strolled toward Davis college. Judge Blankhead fired repeatedly s the bear's tail light but without effec The bear hurried after a fair co-e more rapidly than ever, and Blankhea went into hysterics. "Huzzah 1 Huzzah! Robin Hood an his merry men!" With these apprc priatc words, Harry Hamlet and Ro Prince, local archers, leaped in sigh bent their bows and shot arrow aftc arrow into the furry beast. He fell dead at the maiden's fee The day was saved, and the girls to< Hamlet was made Sheriff of Notting ham by Dean L. T. Baker, whil Prince was hung on the gibbet fc shooting dears. At an inquest yesterday afternooi it was learned that the bear answerc to the name of Zimmerman, and wa only half-wild. Funeral services wi be held to the strains of "Who Killc Cock Robin." U.8.C. WOMEN SINGERS ARE BAD FLOI (Continued from Page 2) Frances Monteith tried very boldly t give an imitation of a Spanish soni but the act was what we famous cri ics call a Fiasco. Get the word, w had to look it up too, and if she hadn flavored it toward the last with a litt "fiddling" I think the audience woul have actually walked out en mass (we know our Latin perfect) and v couldn't help from detecting that h< darn fiddle needed tuning badly, think she would have made quite a h if she had disregarded the instructic of Mrs. Dulic Hansen, and sudden! struck up "Turkey In The Straw" < "Gray Eagle." Miss Monteith's nun ber was applauded uproarously. The next number was a piano so by Miss Onolee Ebaugh and for while we thought is was somebod tuning the "pianner" until the curta revealed the struggling female Pade cwski. We, as well as the whole aud ence, were glad that the composer i this piece made it a short one, for it had lasted another five minutes v would have been ready for the bi house. But Miss Ebaugh shows sligl traces of some musical ability and she practices forty or fifty years long< we don't see why she shouldn't get 5 she could play such difficult pieces ; "Red Hot Mamma" and "Tight Lil That." Miss Elizabeth Carson's rendition i the "Egyptian Song" seemed to plea: the listeners to a higher degree the the other numbers, and we will ha^ to say right here that she "warnt i bad to look at all diked up in the gypsy fixin's and trappin's." She w; the spit image of a young gypsy g that came through our town oiv along with some others, and cous Will nearly took up with her whi they stayed, but she got all the mom that his heaviest bale of cotton broug and then skipped on to the next tow with her tribe. Miss Louise Mcintosh's "Chine Love Song" was velee muchee goo The costume that she wore and tl paint sure did make her look like real Chink girl. It seemed strange us though, to see a Mcintosh singit a Chinese song. In the "Indian Song," Miss Loui: Long deserved a couple more wahoi from the audience than she got. H make-up alone deserved this. SI looked just like old Rain-in-The-Fa< himself or Big Chief Sitting-Bull. At the way she had the old map paint< up gave us an idea as to what coli to paint our new garage. Those pre ty feathers in her Indian hat su didn't come out of no "domineck hen," they were too white for thj We enjoyed her war-whoops fair ' middling. The gay girlies presented in pa two what we moderns call "hot stuff The first thing in this act was a jum] ing, twisting and galloping choru dressed in colorful overalls that mac them look very wicked to some of tl older members of the audience, v heard them say so. We got the lauj of the season when Annie Laur Mitchell's shoulder strap broke ar she was in such a way twisting at pirouetting across the stage, v thought we were going to be emba rassed by the falling of the oth< strap, but she finally retreated behir the scenes to adjust her apparel. The evenings suffering terminate with the singing of an old negro spir tual and Miss Virginia Whipple's voi< towering way above the rest remindt us of the way Aunt Mandy use to hu while she labored over the wash-tu It is hoped that something can 1 done to prevent the recurrence of sue a program next year and a petition being circulated to get the studen body^s approval. ***??1???[?mrmmm ^ BARN [MICE FEAT (I Alumni meeting of Clemson men, he d singing the Alma Mater to the tune of tus is in foreground, covering somethi I MURCHISON LODGED j IN COUNTY JAIL fc TAKEN WITH MISS SANER >r _______ u( Dr. Douglas was called from his all{{ day doze last Tuesday to comc to court ls and furnish bail for Dr. Murchison II and Grace Saner, who were arrested d the day before. At the preliminary hearing Tuesday Dr. Murchison was charged with disturbing the peace and resisting arrest down at the station where the whale 1 was on display. The reverend gentleman after being warned, persisted in looking down the whale's throat to sec if lie could discern Jonah. He also wanted to take his companion, Miss 0 Saner, into the darkness of the whale to experience Jonah's feelings. t_ Dr. Murchison refused to make a rc statement except that the students in >t his Bible classes continually pelted him |c with questions concerning the Biblical 1^ account of Jonah's sojourn in the big ;c fish. ,c Miss Saner claims to have ascer;r tained the exact age of the whale by j counting his teeth. it j >n ly )r rli er a ^ so. Iv 2 m tre er it. "I would indeed,"s to rt "What is there at 9t p. head?" he demaiu IS, le "Your voice, sir,M ie 'e my heart must sn ih to his listeners." OL1 (FASTEST GROW _ On your Radio . .. OLD COM MMHHM mini hi iiiiiiiiiam is ts IJRES ALUMNI MEET wiL^j^hiH&. ild on Si Parsnips (arm. They are seen "Pass Around the Bottle." Johnny Jusing with his hat. MACK INVOLVED IN BAD SCANDAL Delta Chi Alpha May Take Charter From Local Chapter Because Of Misdemeanors Alpha Chapter of Delta Chi Alpha, national religious service fraternity, has been placed oti probation by the national fraternity authorities. The chapter has been accused of fostering improper standards of honor in the class rooms and of supporting the Y. M. C. A. in its campaign to erect a bar room in Flinn Hall. Jack Hydrick, national secretary, arrived in Columbia yesterday to confer with members of the University chapter. J. J. Brown, local president, has been asked to resign by Mr. Hydrick, because of his supposed complicity in helping Kenneth Grimsley pass a quiz under Professor Mercer. Mr. Brown has refused to resign his office and de: clares that the Reverend J. J. MacVi was the only member of the chapter who committed the crimes the group is accuscd of. Mr. Brown also stated that Dr 1YW0MMAI [PULSE Ml, [I aid the fairest flower of the countryi out me, gal, to bring this disfavo led. she answered him haughtily. "Th loke OLD GOLDS in kindness to DGOL ING CIGARETTE IN HIS PAUL W1HTEMAN HOUR. P?ut Whltanian i 11 ' ' Hank Dorset, oldest Clemson alumni. He has been farming in the swamps of Berkeley county for 108 years, and never stumped his toe once. Clemson reserves and hired henchmen rush into annual battle with Sawcowsaw College. It is reported that Sarah Bernhardt Wilmot Jacobs has met with astounding success in the establishment of a ; kosher synagogue korus at Furman where he was a zealous and popular | student. U.H.O. Mack lias been asked to withdraw ? from membership and if he continues in his refusal, the necessary steps to force his withdrawal will be taken. || ft 4 J1Y, YOU wow I?"barked W *ide.uAnd how!" r down upon my ie man who wins his throat?and TORY... NOT A COUGH and complete orchestra . . . every Tuesday, 9 to 1 POISONOUS PEN TELLS SCANDAL * ? ' I 4. , (Continued From Page 1) party. The editor sat back thoughtfully, ate all the hash, and was rcduced to nothing more than a cynical griu. "I think kisses are sticky," said Pinerosin, the Kaiser's daughterling. A little library research revealed at least twenty negations of this sentiment. According to the Morse code, we are informed of the word "rationalization." We wonder, fair Rosin, we wonder? ''Service will always be rewarded," said Dr. Blabrooster to Half-nelson C.asket, whereupon the campus steeds were carefully watered in front of the canteen. Have you ever heard Piute go tootyroot-toot On his clarinet? I bet That the girls get hot For this big hot-shot With his long tooty-rooty-root-toot. "P'shaw," exclaimed Nig gel. An assistant cheerleader jumped up and down, up and down, up and down, but his efforts did not help him rise. A big fish of the environs is notorious for his milky preferences. He has been known to produce a quart of the mild beverage at a banquet and down it with provocative relish. Somebody get a pot. We'll have a big Bass stewed in milk. If ever I see one young robot Wauchope the campus not looking like a hobot, I'll make esoteric moan on my obot, and write his name in Chauchope on the walls of Jerichot. They put Bill Broughton in jail. For what? He got hot and jazzed the piano. 1. Death of Christ. 2. Death of Thomas Bccket. 3. Death of Joan of Arc. 4. Death of Wilson. ' 5. Death of Taft. 6. Somebody Kilpatrick. i inn LD U.TON I IN A CARLOAD 0 P. M., Eastern Standard Tim#