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Spotlghts on ' We came here knowing nothing of fraud and- deceit; But now our knowledge of these is complete. We advocte- honesty with your fel low man But the faculty belongs to another clan. If you can outwit them, you needn't feel bad Just think of the experience those old boys have had. One of us rates well in the 'faculty's eye, By simply reading syllabi. (He finds he has more time to play When~ he can' handle his work that way.) When a professor in the library begins his chase For a book that is surely out of place, He seizes his chance to come to his aid, And incidentally put 'his information on parade: For looking up headnotes will imprint on your mind The. place that to each book was origi nally assigned. He is credited with being an indus trious guy, Rather- than with making too free use of syllabi. Nevertheless with tricks of this nature He's won a seat in the Legislature. There's another who has succumbed to the lure of politics: (He ought to be prepared for some pretty hard licks) He was managing his campaign fairly well But on this fact we need not dwell. The point is he had a date, And it was getting rather late: While the lights were ohl $o low, Sweet melodies came over the radio: Into the air roinance crept, But, alas, our. politician slept. I can think of many a reason Why a man sleeps out of season; So-I offer this as a mere suggestion, Which I myself seriously question: But Juniper Juice with it's running mate May be instrumental in producing this state. (It is certain he hadn't put any undue strain On that vacuum he calls his brain.) Perhaps it may be well to note He was not elected Junior President on this lady's vote. No matter how much knowledge a professor can disperse, He is still subject to the laws of this universe. When he is as sleepy as he can be, He acts but little different than we, I know one who fell from grace From calling on one J. S. for a case. At length the monotonous droning grew weak; D. W. decided it was his turn to speak, "Do you think the decision was rightly affirmed?" Whereupon J. S. perceptibly squirmed, He thought the professor had spokeri in haste For he hadn't finished the facts ori which the decision was based. Our taste in books tends towards antiques, Provided no past owners were freaki Who made notes you simply could nol read, Or else made ones you didn't dare heed. Of course there is a chance of youi coming to grief, If when called on you read from youi margin a brief. You'll probably regret you're even liv ing, When you're told it's merely a citatior you're giving. Since straight and true our course he'i steered, For this blow the Dean's, probably noi prepared; There's a blect sheep anmong ,us wht believea in divorces, Thoug,h ho ha.7ricantiy hna one no IN IXA TATION !ArHE SENIOR (By one who iass ;been blacc balled.) Tkough the Dean probably has reaon to suspect, Froni the name he is not expected to detect, That the Senior Law Glee Club is such an organization As could never meet his apprqbation: For they promote a form of aviation That's not approved of by the' nation. Once a week they take a flight To the regions of delight. Oh! the sights they see and hear! Almost make one shriek with fear! Snakes more vicious than the viper of Eden Chase you with the attitude of a cop when you're speedin'. Elephants of every hue Deepest red that changed to blue Then a pig a-drinkin' ale, Who had a corkscrew for a tail, Turned into such an awful dragon It put them all on the water-wagon. But with hopes high and spirits strong, This temerity can't last long. -U.s.o. DRIVER WILL BOSS WILLIAM AND MARY Cont. From Page 1 work he has put out to build up and foster the new sports. The Student Body at large cannot bear the thought of the campus being devoid of "Mr. It" as he is affection ately called. The ready smile that he has for every student inspires con fidence. Many of them recall the times they went to him in the time of need and how graciously they were received. They all realize that he never shows favoritism to any student, no matter how much that student could benefit him in campus politics or otherwise. No, he never shows even to the men of his particular group, any favoritism. The faculty, too, has arisen up in arms against the loss of so valuable a man. They still want a man who never dabbles into their affairs and at tends strictly to athletics. A man who sees to it that they are provided with passes to every game. The author would like to point out that it is due to him that South Caro lina is so well known in the athletic world. It is he who arranges all the intersectional games played by the Gamecocks. It is he that arranges games with real teams such as Georgia Tech, Tennessee, Vanderbilt, West Point and Princeton and makes the name of. South Carolina known throughout the country. It is he that has fostered new sports and made South Carolina a leader in developing intercollegiate boxing and fencing, Much credit is due to him for getting appropriations to make the gym, where the rank and file of the Student Body workout, a better place. To gel new and modern equipment for it and to pay competent instructors decent salaries. Let me repeat that it was he that put intercollegiate boxing ove: for the University. In all, we cannot bear to loose sucli a man as this. Let's keep him if we must transplant part of Virginia, where we know his heart is, dowrs here. Late dispatch: We have just learned that Professo: Harry Edmunds has declined his posi. tion as Chairman of the Athletic Coun cil in an effort to induce Jimmie tc stay. He should consider this well fo: it would give him complete dictator ship of the athletics here--a thing hc has wanted for years. Nellie's best courses. Now if there are any among you whc share these views Your right of free speech you'd bettei d~ot abuse, For if this fact the Dean could know you'd be branded as society's foe And he'd cast you out as but fit to gc to the wilds of safage Mexlco. GREGORY GUMP IS CANDIDATE FOR PROPLES PRESI&DNT Wears No Man's Horse Collar. Is 100 Per Cent Saint Andy Gregory Gump, well known member of this year's graduating class, announces his candidacy for president of the student body next year. Mr. Gump's reputation as a leader and as a politician is as well known as the quaint French word "quattorze." Mr. Gump modestly states that he is not running for the honor involved, but because he feels that it is his duty to give the students a chance to elect someone they can look' up to with respect. He also vehemently declares that all other candidates are totally unfit, being drinkers and loose livers. He offers unlimited amounts of proof of his own life being as pure as the new fallen snow on a convent roof. He offers additional proof in actual work as to his ability to judge what is good for the students, having been president of his class and served on some very important committees. Mr. Gump is to be highly com mended on his unselfish attitude and if all he says is true the students are indeed fortunate in having him as the guiding genius for next year. ---- .... BOYS ALLOWED IN CO-ED DORMS Cont. From Page 1 confidence in the integrity of her seniors. She feels particularly sure that Katherine Zeigler, Rosalie Tur ner, Willie Jo Hughes and Mildred Cone will permit no petting to go on, unless it is conducted in the most approved manner. The girls of the University, in order to safeguard the continuance of the above privileges, have voted that all men must be searched before entering any of the dormitories. Among other articles that will be prohibited are whiskey, in excess of one pint, and art magazines. Report of this announcement has been received with little demonstra tions of joy by the men students. They claim that no restrictions are neces sary, and that those that are imposed take away their rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. ---.s.o. 100 % 2-Par A two pants suit ferent patterns of coat with peaked snappy fittn trol this price andrme CogginsS Boyd B 1800 Main Street FUNDUbUS ENMD . Cont. From Page 1 of the liquor reqyired by the Columbia and Chicora girls at the receptions. The subject for debate, Resolved: That girls should be allowed in the men's dormitories, was hotly con tested, but the affirmative, composed of Griffith Puge and Wilson O. Wel don, finally won over the negative, represented by William Romulus Reese and Sidney Heyman. The society refused the command of President Grimsley to bring drunk dates in the hall. -v.s.o. RITZ THEATRE Mon.-Tues.-Wed. Dashing William Haines and Adorable Joan Crawford in "DUKE STEPS OUT" A Metro Sound Picture plus Movietone and Vitaphone Acts Thur.-Fri.-Sat. Reginald Denny in "RED HOT SPEED" A Talking Picture IMPERIAL THEATRE Mon.-Tues.-Wed. Richard Barthelmess in "WEARY RIVER" A Singing and Talking Super Special-hear-Barthelmess talk and sing --also A Bobby Vernen Comedy "TURN HIM LOOSE" and Paramount News Thurs.-Fri. "CHILDREN OF THE RITZ" Sat. "AVALANCHE" Starring Jack Holt "DIA OONFEO' HOME MADE CANDIES, IC] 1437 Main Street TYPING WORK SOLICITED By MARY N. MILLS 1323 Pendleton Street Telephone 4118 "HONESTLY, IT'S WINCHESTER G] Atlantic Life 702-703 Pal All Wool ts Suits '25 >f all wool in several dif gray and tan. Two button lapels, a tattersall vest, sers. Unusually smart at mber they have two pants. Johnson Co. Johnson. 31)lmr. 80 raua ariv Z GRGQORY WEPS Cont. Fm Page 1 loons," Miss Gregory said with a vir ginal blush. When told that the saloons had long been shut, Miss Gregory sat down and wept copiously, then swooned in her best mid-Victorian fashion. "You see, the truth of . the matter is that I wish to run for President of the Student Body, and no student body that drinks can have me for its presi dent. Therefore I stand for reform." "Good Smoke!" Says Hubby "0. K." with Wife Brookl, N. Y. Larus & Bro. Co., Au 4, 1928 Richmond, Va., U. S. A. Dear Sir: Going to take the pleasure and drop you a few lines to say that my favorite tobacco is your Edgeworth. I have been a user of it for the last eight years and find it's the only tobacco for a real good smoke. For the last five or six months I have been trying several other kinds but I find Edgeworth is the only tobacco for me. If I am smoking any other brand my wife will tell me, as she likes the smell of only Edgeworth. When I'm smoking others she opens all windows and doors. The reason for writing this letter is that I had a card party last night, and most all of the party asked me what kind of tobacco I used. So I told them Edgeworth. Yours very A smoker of gworth (Signed) E. . Boisvert Edgeworth Extra High Grade Smoking Tobacco INA" TIONERY l CREAM, LIGHT LUNCHES Phone 4250 The Sanitary Cafe A Cordial Welcome, Tasty Food Reasonably Priced Phone 9138 1345 Main St. LHE BEST POLICY" IAHAM, Gen. Agt. Insurance Co. metto Bldg.