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rrn 6aentaotI PUBLISHED WEEKLY BY THE EUPHRADIAN AND CLARO SOPHIC SOCIETIES, UNI VERSITY OF SOUTH CARO LINA. Subscription $1.50 per Year. Entered at Columbia, S. C., postoffice November 20, 1908, as second class mail matter. Columbia, S. C. April 1, 1922. 1)r. (irrell ... . Edit or-in-Clhief )r. I,eslie Wells.....Associate Prof Snowden ........ Atilet'ics Prof. Alveriwet ler . . . . Society D)r. Carpent er ......Wigwai .\Mr. Keiled............1 oke Prof. Cook...... lUndertaking I)ea llIa ker . . . . . . . .Local Law . lr. Il ugginus.........\ lnager~ P. K. Smith. Advice to ,ovelorn Prof. Tabler. . . . . lleauty ilints Ain'.i '(,l] to gtithis gang14 to wvork? This is our first af tempt, at editinig the (bnecock and hope next. year to get, olt. a bettel edition. Writing this paper was one of the IIost; lugrubrious, npre vedetied jobs 1 have ever as suined Inlder the dIIress of im fpeling iicicumstances. --W.T 8. C. Trials of a President As it becomes Ily du ty to write an article for our. worthy puiblicationi, I have decided to prodlce a brief sketch uipon the trials of a college president. When I was elected to the presidency of this institution, I felt that I was the recept,or. of a most tu.pemildouls honlor; and I looked forward eagerly and with a naxiliiml of deliglt to the rosy visiols of the easy life of a college president. But alas' for my drealls and. golden fanies! Since I becaile the chief executive of an ilstitl tion of learning my life has beenl a weary one; tle Imt hIway has beenl rough and fill of trials and tribulations. )ay inI and day out, i1ontlih after Ionllth, year' atfter' year thle troubles have coment and gone onily to have their places taken by otheiors oif a la rger caIlire. For' th lp ast year' or so al most nimy1 nt.ire timel( every'( day is consumed iln reading peti t ions amiil retsoluitionis froml lie stol entI body. A I first I refus ed( to read so mlanly of t hemi, and refused to gran lt numerous'01 re quellsts5; but I I so11on disco)verl'tO that. thlis pln wvoiubl not w~ork, bec(a use~ as soonl as the stioent s learnIed t hatI their requPO lest s had beenm refuisedl, t hey would( all turn "R adical"' at once, decl'are a strike, amll hoist tIle "'reod flag'' of revyouitioni. Another great problemi withI which a college presidentI has to wr'esthe is that of exculsinig stinilnta in torg "hIomo " IRerni larly every Friday there is a <de Ige of sti lents uiponl lily office, who flaunt telegrams and let ters unler imy very nose, an demand that, they be granted freedlom for the rest of the week. As in t he other case, at. first. I refused to gralt such free<oll), but tie riesult was a. hollibardillent of scathing let, ters ad m ilessages froiml irate parents, denli ing the reasons for imy not allowing their "<dlh-ling boy" to visit, his par entlal doimicile and giving Ime to ulnerstal in no gentle terms fliat 1 did lnot "own" their sons. F'roi this I learned that tie lNost ad%isable pilan would he to allmw one ul all to depart unhidered, if necessary. Fiurthermore there is always trouble with the faculty. Some professor is forever an( etern ally complai Ii ng about, the lack ()f chalk, or the( temulperatuire of lhe class roomii; the high grades of somiie stud]eIts S(IIi to give hwiri instructors muich worry, while the low grades of others seem1i coqual ly as irri Iating. Am(I (very mIiember ()f Ile entire fac 11lty nuist, bring is tale of woe to Ime for set lement. I wish some of theiim were at least able to take care of their own a fa irns. 'Then there are many minor troubles in the everyday life of ti college; either someone has applroplriated'( a plihnograpIh record fromi Fl inn lall or a bad cheek has been passed onl the valteeln; solle(iies its a st'lient tryig to beat his board bill, or roomli ill I steam111-heated buibNling ithiout payin for- it. All thIs(e8 little things go to Iake thlie life of a college pres ident a veritable trial. , in (loisinig, let Ile say that if y of Iiiy readers are offered Ihe position of president of a (o1l11, d )o not ncept, it, be cause, take it. fromi lle, the job is cert ainly Iot what is cracked upI to be. Inventions and Schemes by the Faculty Prof. Keith has m1velted a new kind of a pen for correet ing students' French exercises. It spIIrngles (lt into five Prongs like a chickenl's foot, each prong with a. pen-poillt on it. ly dipnI g this new in st riuiinent ill red ink lhe cani oine-fifthI thle timie required by lie oirdlinairy pen'i. IProf. C arsoni has thle plaun d1rawnu for hiis new Monkey I liiing .Alachin,e. When'1 put into p ractice it, will opleraite as5 follow~s: oni ai stool(on isi biiSack, withI the milk pail Isitting oni his stomi ach1. The14 COW, fromi which it is del(si redo to4 ' xtrcth m il1' 11k, will t hn be4 brought (on the scenei( am10 lalcedl over the mloni key. NoIw t his litt1'lelst has1 fe(et like handls, so0 lie cani ulse thiemi also. While I miilkinJg wi thl hamis4 and1( feet, his tail ma~y lie losy~ ('ither(' ho(ldling the cow's tinil to keen it fromi swi t.h ig, or lie may lovingly cares her with it to keep her quiet. This i. a great time saver and should prove a success. Prof. Mercer has been ment to Africa to pur vitase monkeys to supplemllent those ill hlis classes. Dr. Lipscomb, the chemical marvel, has discovered i mneth od for making corn whiskey without getting caught. le re fuses to publish his method but those interested iln this matter can get 8amples of his product at the laboratory at $3.00 a quart. Dr. Pat Wardlaw has1 lad(e for himself an autonatic heard twister anld puller which will enable himl) hereafter to give hi.s entire attention to his class. The Iowa Scale Mfg. ('o. hIas mllade to order for Dr. Y. Snow den a pair of computing scales. When an11 examination paper is placed on the scales, the weight of the per aInld the grade to be given is slown oln the dial. Dr. Snowden mays that, this should be a great help to him, for the ol tyle of scales which he has beel using gave only the weights of the papers, ald it reqilired considerable figurinlg to get the grade from the weight. FACULTY AND STUDENTS ARE NOT CO-OPERATING Professors Express Opinions on New Phone System The hearty co-operation be hvwen students and professors shoul at all tiilex he proiloted. It is to be regretted that the fi-ulty is very lax sometilles anld show extreimle negligence in the performance of their (du1ty ill thi respect. One case might be cited iln pollit. 'he other night a few serious llinld (A students took it upon then ,elves to do a little research work. They seriously doubted the wisdomll of the telepliole company iln forcing a new and comnipIicated systelli upoln the u1nellighltelled people of Co lum11bia and they desired to in vest igate the uatter from vari 011 viewpoits. So ardent al enIthusliastic were these young stud(enits that they forgot t;haat the hour was ap)proachinkg 2 A. MI., hut this was an inisigifi canitt i temi anyway and1( the pr'o fessors should1( not hlave object e'd. It wvas this rudfe objection wvhic s o miuch dlamperedl the spirits of the young inlvestiga tors. Th le fi rst professor inter viewved was Pro)fesor Siowden miarked ind(ifferenc(e ando even host.iIifty towvardl the effortsx of the struigg lig younig studoenits. Buit ilk spi.fe (of hiis attitilde the q luest-ionier persistedh. "D)o you think the ne(w sys temi w~ould work in Charles toll?" lhe was asked1, anid "What are your views on it fromi an hiist orical stand1(point?" P rofessor Snow.len PmlIeIU *etorte<, "What jackass is it -allin ig up at. this time of night? 1o to bed.'' I )isappointed but bY nio Imeans ready to give up1) they ,ried Profexxor Baker who was iked to discuss thei new sys en front an elicational stami poinlt. EV(I1 the Dean of the University failed to p4ay the proper amoiit. of vourtesy and [he stiudelIt left himiil to try Irofexxor AlcCuitcheon. It wam ill the dial systeini coul do to Lvake Professor Mc-Cutcheoln bit at lat ie leepily uiswer d. IHe was one of t he few who was gentInallma en1oulglh to pre 4ent his view.s at somle length 1nd he aiply satisfied the In ves. t iga t ors, declaring that Ie bielievedl from an oeconoicial <tandpoin Ot ve system wva-s 1 xiuccess. It. is unine(essarv (o o into Ill he (etails Iere. Most. aII >)f t he professors were coisil t 'd it they seemled to think they were insultetd. 1)r. Cur ell was amked if Ie thoigIlt the he new system. Profoessor. Keith though.1t Ohe iiew mYstemii wou work better in the daytime. So for th141se and many other rSealons wv think that-, the fac tlty is not co-opera t ilg to lheir fulkest, vxt-eni. 'Th'im im a <erious charge agains.t I liei and we hope flha. in) Ile fut'uren they will be iore ready andI(1 willing to lend their aid andI(] advice at 111 t lwiex to students in their p)uIrsuit of knowledge. A DAY AT THE LAW SCHOOL Chapl ell I: Bing hong ding -nerrily roll ve scholars to voildvr class rooml-hin. hong ling. Prof. IPriermonl :I r. Bryson, Studen ts (in chorus) :Yes, 4ir; yes, sir; yeS, sir Prof. Frierson: I ideel genl 1eii-n, it, is a pleasure to notice hat only 29 lil are mick Chim 110rningl1. 'ThP lmac i.1 iicking u1p. Now to work the irst case for this lI(ddlie ( anitw el: Dr)i. Frier IOn, I waniht to ask you1 a quie [ion St,udents (en mnasse) : Din .le dinigle dingle! P rof. F'rierson: (lentlemnen, i ve you r ea rniet and4 xi ncere, M~r. Cantwell who lund(oubtedly has a serioluN problemi for us I his maorining. IMl((Jie the ( ireat: Pr'ofexxor, if aI man1 ownls an1 initellIigen t bull and1( another 11mn1 says that hie owns it andh ProI~f. Friier'son: Nowv Mr. 1anit welIl pleaise lhe explici t. Ou0i say owns11 it. WVhat does hie own i, the tail, thle heioN4 or the fee-yo must lhe suire t,o say wVhat yo11uimean ini the legal phraseology of the lawv. Eddie Cantwell: Yes, sir, that's it, well he owns every thing about the bull as sie staids in the fields and 41eorge Taylor (measured): Professor, it appears to me ut- Ci der the latest decision of Mike v v. Ike, 23 1. C. 231, that the V case in not on all fours With - the present one. In that case I gather that the court decided that since the bull was lying down instead of standing up the verdict should go to the plaintiff. .'rof. Frierson: Quite true, Mir. Taylor, but you forget that in that case the defend.ant owned everything but the cow bell. Eddie Cantwell But Pro fessor I haven't told you my case yet. Prof. Frierson: Quite true, (lite true; go on Mr. Cautwell. Eddie: As I was saying, one man411 owNIled a bull anld another claiied it. One (ay the plainl tiff took the bull by the horns and began to lead it to his stable. 'le defendant who saw this from the other iside of the fence jumped over the fence and grabbed the bull by the tail 1 and began to lead him to his barn. (arer: Professor, I don't f see why the bull didn't kick. I Prof. Frierson: Gentlemen, I thiis is indeed a perplexing que'stion but, really I do not see where this has any hearing on the question of negotiable in- a sIumients. I leave that ques- I tion of the bull for Mr. Rucker e to solve in his course on Col- y stitutional Law. 0 Eddie Cantwell: it Prof. d Hucker told Imle that it was under your11 course that we should discuss tihe bull. Mrs. Reamer: Mr. Friersoin, I lon't see how anyone call fight over a bull. Its absurd. Eddie Cantwell: I know d that, professor. I was just mnal ing 11p the case because today 3 is April Fool. Chapel Bell: Ring bong a bunk-bunk. Flow gently ye students form ye learning-- Il -bunk--bunk. 10 DID YOU KNOW M) That Dr. Carpentier is no re. Ill hat ion to Georges? TFhat Warmath .was in the nec Armiy? pr I i1 T1ha't R. (l. Bell runs the Y.~ M. C. A.? A That uniderclassmen wor-* shippedl at the shine of If. Brockington ? TIhait E. M. Smith w1oni the a St ate Oratorical Contest? . Su TJhat there will be no comipul-lut sory church at tend(ance after u Junme 1 5th ?01 "That this (Gamnecock wvannle wrlitteni while we shmould havag< beeni at churlxch? fo0 That this stafi' left town whte this issue camn out?