University of South Carolina Libraries
in HI* Mind. Th? man who was getting off the elevated railway train at Adams atreet . stepped on a foot that was occupying too much space on the floor ?in the middle of 4he aisle. '?For half a cent," howled the own er of the foot, "I'd knock your block off, you-" "Hero it i8," said the man, > taking a ceot from hie pocket and. tendering it to him- "You can keep the change." "You Interrupted me, air!" snapped the other. "I was going to add that for balf a cent more I'd knock your block on again. . You ipay consider both operations performed, and be i hanged to you!" I "Step, lively!" vociferated the guard, |and the incident dosed. Voices of the Night. "John, I don't believe you put Uk cat out." "Confound it, Maria, you didn't put covers enough on this bed!" "Henry, wake up! I hear somebody in the basement I" *"~ , "We won't g' home t'l mornln', an' then we won't g' home!" /v , "Wbat's your hurry, Jack? It's early yet." "Me-ow! Meow! Splftl1" ? 'Cocka-doodle-doo ! " "Hands up!" Intrinsic Values. "Why did you select Charles instead if George?" asked Maude. "Well," replied Maymle, "George aid I had eyes like violets, cheeks Ike wild roses, shell-like ears and lips Ike cherries.'* "Very pretty." "Yes. But Charles said I had eyes ke diamonds, teeth like pearls and ps like rubles. It seems to me that Is Ideas were much more i>raotlcal." PROOF. lira. Jinks ? Is your husband even hpered ? ilw. Blinks? Very. Why, I've ner even heard him swear at an alarm ck early In the morning. His Only Choice. u must give up cigars," Mid Anna, >r I can never be your bride" c pondered, lit a freah Havana .t >4 threw the matoh Midi. ; ?Judge. } ? Safe. have you a hair, tonic that you can ply recommend?" asked the man k was growing bald. ves," replied the druggist, as he la bottle down from a shelf. "This ?horoughly safe. My baby drank rly half a pint of it the other night wasn't harmed In the least/* -It', a Wise Chl|<l? - : ommy? Me father glxnme dls nlck? htca fur me birthday.' ^"iy-I guess my pop's goln' ter one like dat, too. pmmy ? Did he say soT Emmy ? No; he said he was goln' {gimme a gold one.-1? Catholic and Times. V.- ? .. .V - - t Easy. : *: ' : / ilstantr? Here's an article on how York will look In 19&0. What re use to illustrate It? Itoi^?Get that file at magaxlnea there for I860, and -cut out the re of how New York wa to to look 10/? Puck. Practical. nm> ?? 1L ? tore at thU young heiress ^?radcxlcal Qualities. ?P is a very U is one which spreads a BUOY FLOATED SIX YEARS j . Belonged to Ship Wrecked Off Japan | 1 and Ocean Currant* Carried It to Sootland. A atrange story of tbe ae*s and their mysterious currents wan told la a letter received by Stanley Dollar, of this ctty, from John Clear, at Ler wick, Scotland, lue lotting a clipping from the Shetland Times, published | at Lerwlftk. v Tbe Item la to tbe effect that there [was picked up ou the beach at Cul* Uvoe, Papastpur, north of Scotland, a life buoy, tattered and stained, bear ing the Inscription: "Passed by J. Quthrle, San Francisco, CaJ., June 1, 1*05/* | Capt. Quthrle la an assistant local Inspector pf steamboats for hla dis trict. The Stanley Dollar was wrecked off tbe west coast of Japan In August, 1905, and the buoy must have' been floating In the ocean curents until it landed oyer in Scotland. Whether It went around the Horn or through the Northwest Pasuage or down by Aus* tralasla and around the Cape of (?oed Hope Into the Atlantic, Is a myftory of seafaring men. Tho buoy hold* the world'B record for drifting the longest distance ever known. Equally marvelous is the fact that It was' not found before, but thls.may be explained by tbe theory that it floated In parts of the two oceans un frequented by many vessels. ? San Francisco Cbrorilcle. ANTS ARE SMART GARDENERS They Are Known to Grow Grain, Sowing and Harvesting Like Real Farmers. Man 1b not the only animal who haft discovered the division of the vege table world Into weeds on the one hand and garden plants .on the other. Our Ingenious little six-legged work ers* the ants, have anticipated us In this, as Jn so many other useful In ventions and discoveries. There are ants In Texas which grow grain, and each nest owns a small claim In the vicinity of Its jnound on which It cul-> tlvates a klnjJ of grass, commonly known as ant rice. The claim Is circular, about ten or twelve feet In diameter, and the ants allow no plant but the ant rice to en croach upon tho cleared space any w here. The produce of the crop they care fully harvest, though authorities are still disagreed upon the final question whether they plant the grain or mere ly allow It to sow Its own seed on the protected area. One thing, however, 1b . certain ? that no other plant Is permitted to sprout on the tabooed patch. The ants wage war on weeds far more vigorously and effectively than our own agriculturists. Linguistic Donnybrook. *1 observe that the natives of Terre Haute are Indulging In a con troversy over, the proper pronunciation of the name of their fair city," said the commercial traveler. "Some Insist upon the good old home flavored 'Terry Hut,' while the, more cultured, affecting horror at such provincialism, declare It should be 'Tear-ah-Hote,' and still others prefer 'Tear-Hautay.' "I see oportunltles for extensive trouble In this discussion. What it other places which have suffered by rank Anglicizing In their names should follow the example of the Indiana town? The result would be a lingu istic Donnybrook. Consider the pos sibilities of theBe common methods of pronunciation. "Baton Rouge, Batten Ruge; Belle fountalne, Belfountaln; Boise, Boys; Charleroi, Charley Roy; Des Moines, | Dee-moyne; Detroit, Dee-trolte; Du bois, Duboys; Pond du Lac, Fondelak; Qalllpolis, Gal-pollce ; Montpeller, Montpeeller, and Prairie du Chien, Prairie doo-Sheen." Vanity In Wearing Hair Long. The church for hundreds of years fought strenuously against long hair, declaring it to be rain, as doubtless It was,1 and Is. Most of the merry, pleasure-loving monarchs in history Slid -their subjects wore the hair in fastidious and elaborate ways. On the other hand, the Spartans, the stern followers of Cromwell, and the Puritans wore their hair short. The wax figures in hair-dressing shops, adorned with masses of puffs and curls, lead one to think that the pres ent-day methods of hair-dessing are not unlike those practiced hundreds of years ago. It seems certain that, while Women still continue to con sider puffs and switches as part of ths necessary paraphernalia of the head, men have discarded long hair for good and all, with the exception of the f^w , musicians, poets, or pain ters who think it incumbent on them to let their locks grow long. Not a Bad Precedent, Some of the beauties of- anclenx Rome had marble busts sculptured of themselves, on which were placed dif ferent wiga corresponding to the changes, of . style and coloring. If inddern woman followed suit there would be fewer atrocious coiffures. A mirror should treveal unbecoming ness, but it does not seem to do so. , A bust of oneself, bedecked with chig non, psyche, Greek coils or the pres ent daguerreotype disfigurations, could not fail to be a convincing proof Of ourselves aft others ice The greatest beauty cannot afford to trifle with her halrdressing. It is only the plain woman who boldly de fies looks to be In the ?'Style. Completely Submerged. A traveling man stopped to watch a email colored boy, who stood ou one foot, Inclined lii? woolly head far to one elde, and pounded vigorously on his skull with the palm of his right hand. ? "Hollo, hoy," grinned tbe drummer, whose memory was carried back to his own boyhood days by the familiar action, "what are you doing?" "Got wattah In mab eab," replied the boy. "Oh, ho," laughed the drummer, "I know just how that is. Many a time I have felt just like that after being in swimming." ? "Swimmin' nuffln'." the boy ex claimed, "ah been eatln' watahmll yun." Absent-Minded Record. Duluth 1b the home of a woman who, In the line of absent-mindedness, has the whole world beaten to a finish. She is absent-minded from tbo time she wakes up until the moment ? she goes to sleep. "ICmlly," a friend asked her on one occasion, "how1 old was your mother when she died?" "I don't know," replied Emily sweet ly. "You know she died long before i was born." ? Popular Magazine. The Difference. .. Visitor ? Personally, I don't think much of the Amerloan method of [ spelling. > Hostess ? Why not? Visitor? Well, tAke parlour, for In stance. Having *u' in It makes all the difference In the world. ? Tattler. A Good Account. ? Shorty? Before I propose to you. Miss Goode, I would like to know if you have anything In the bank? Miss Goode ? Yes, I have; and he*, th? manager. We get married nei week. ? Judge. r VERY LIGHT. Landlady (after helping him the third time to meat) ? I thought you told me you were a light eater? New Boarder ? So I am, ma'am; 1 eat burning torches in the dime mu seum. Precautionary. When pa. and ma fall out 'tis time - For little tads to run ----- . And stay at soma kind neighbor's house Until the fight is done. Unsympathlalng. "What barbarous instincts those old Romans displayed at their gladiatorial games." "Yes," said Miss Cayenne; "they were almost as indifferent to human life as a crowd of people Watching an aviation contest at a county fair." Considerate. "Why do you argue with your wlfeT" asked the bachelor, "Dont you know the futility of ltr "Of oourse," , replied & the married man, "but I have to allow her a little pleasure once In a while." ? Puck. Well Along, Anyhow. Justice of the Peace?How old are you? Illiterate Prisoner? I don't adsack ly know, squire, but I Wn reelect when ev'rybody called India rubber *gnm elastic." Just Before, the Tragedy. King Richard IIL had offered his kingdom for a horse. "Ha!" exclaimed Richmond. "Ill have to go and nag him a little 1" Grasping a property sword, he i rushed to the : ? * '' ?' 1 1 -M:'?s Proof Positive. ?*?"*>'. y": '' * "You told me this was really cot glass." "So it was. Oeft from $1.00 to Tl cents." ? THEY HAD PLENTY OF CLUBS Postmaster of Chefrydale Village Nam?? Over Its Various Organi zations for the Stranger. "I suppose that your towu in almost too tuuil for the club movement to Lave affected U lUUCh. A towu o t ouly eight hundred Inhabitants seldom t.*H many clubs, %' believe," said the stranger within tho gates of Cherry* dale to the postmaster. "Well, we ain't clubbetf to death as tome places seem to bo, but when you come to couut 'em up we got consid erable many clubs for a town of our ?lse. We got a Woman's Club o' two hundred members, an' a Village lm orovement Club, an' a Ladles' Social Club, an' a Friday Afternoon Club, an' a big Choral Club, au' a Current 'JvcnU Club, an 'a Library Club, an' a T.kkens Club, an' a Thought an' "JVork Club, an' a Art Club, an1 a mixed club that calls Itself the Prog ^ass Club, an' a Dancing Clifb, an' f.,e whist clubs an' a Euchre Club, an' <* Saturday Night Club. Then tho W. C, T. IJ., an' the Odd FoJIowh, an' the ?rmsons. uu' Knights o' Phythlas. an1 the D. A. It., an* the O. A. R., au' the Ancient Order o' Hibernians, an' the Eastern Stars, an' the Rons o' Tom p'ranco an'^the Christian Eudeavorei;B all have societies hure, an' they are t^yin' to start a Y. M. C. A., an' a Y. W. C, A. Then wHh the Grange, an' the Boys' Brigade, an* live churches, an' 'some Hoy Scouts, an' a l^cnd a Hand Society, an' a Handicraft So ciety, an' the Good Samaritans, an' the Helpers' Guild, wo got considdablo many clubs, after all. Each of 'em has a fair an' a couple o' entertain ments a year, so there's something go In' on a good deal o' tho club time, oven if tho club movement ulu't hit ns very hard yet." ? Judge. HOW BETHLEHEM WAS NAMED Vretty Story of the Origin of tfae Pennsylvania City, Now In dustrlal Center. It was not unfitting that Bethlehem the conter of missionary enterprise and social service should have the name of the birthplace of tho Christ. But the name was given It under doubly fitting auspices. In December, 1741, Count Zlqzendorf, tho friend and protector of the Moravians in Saxony, came- to visit them. Tho original log dwelling sheltered both tho people and the cattle. It was in this house that they were sitting on Christmas eve. Suddenly Count Zlnzendorf arose and led the way past the parti tion to the part where the cattle were etabled, and there around the mangers they sang Christmas songs. After that they could think of no name quite bo fitting as Bethlehem. But In spite of church Institution* Bethlehem 1b no longer a religious community. It Is Industrial. With the coming of Industry have come condi tions of which Dttvld Nltschmann, founder o( Bethlehem, never dreamed. . It wasn't an example of the old brotherhood when, in 1909, five men were discharged because they had signed a petition to the management of the Bethlehem Steel corporation asking for. the elimination of Sunday work. It wasn't an example of broth* erhood when In 1910 another man was discharged for avoiding Sunday work, and then three moret because they served on a committee that protested against this man's discharge. ? John A. Fitch, In The Survey. In Imminent Danger. Mr. and Mrs. Aschenbrenner were touring Europe, and had just arrived at Pisa. Mra. Aschenbrenner was all excited upon reaching the Leaning Tower and eagerly pattered up the spiral stairway, leaving her husband languidly awaiting her return. As she weighed a shade over the 200 mark, her husband always dug up an excuse when it came to accom panying her on any altitudes above easy falling distance. He was just pondering on the beau tiful flow of unintelligible language used by their guide, when from the topmost rampart came the MHHee? Hi lo" trill from his wife, who was lean ing far out and waving a scarf. Mr. Aschenbrenner obligingly look ed up and then came to life with an anguished roar: "Gretchen, for your life, get back! Tou're bending the building r* Her Nationality. Tn the lowest grade of a New Tork public school the teacher was glean ing from the children who had newly entered the class statistic* of nation ality for her annual report. They are extremely Interesting in New Tork public schools, for they Include young sters from every known corner of the globe* Having enrolled Germans, Syri ans, Poles, Irish, Australians, Natal lans, Arabs, Montenegrins and others, the teacher asked a flaxed haired mite ??hoping to hear the rare word "Amer ican" ? ''What are you, Florence?", Mindful of her home training, Florence promptly, and cheerfully replied: "I'm % suffragette." What He's Going to Give Up. "For ten years I have been trying to give up smoking." ; "That tor - - "Tea. but this year I am going to give up trying." . ? . ?' \ * ? ? / ? ? - i?v / An Endleea Job. ?now do you pass the long winter evenings at your housef" "Studying the magazine club offer*, trying to select a combination tbst will suit. The entire family." GARDNER & COMPANY Heavy and Fancy Groceries, Fresh Meats and Country Produce HIGHEST MARKET PRICES PAID FOR HOGS AND CATTLE Near Hermitage Cotton Mills 'Phone 221 -J. ROBERT'S MARKET Hat recently been remodeled and enlarged to supply the increasing demand for FRESH MEATS We solicit a share of your patronage and guarantee sat isfaction and Prompt Service. TELEPHONE NUMBER 296-L MOULDINGS BOARDS JUST RECEIVED A large assortment ? of ? ? - > . Sash Doors and Blinds * . . ?* ??.,. * ? / ? We have your size ? Phone 81 or write SHAND BUILDERS' SUPPLY COMPANY DeKALB STREET FLOORING CEILING For Your Breakfast White Rose and Gold Medal Coffee, Baker's Breakfast Cocoa, Tetley's Teas. , " ; ? ' V ' 531 SPECIALS : ? Old Fashion Country ' , ? lard mm V Premier Oat Flakes at 10c ' LANGS' S GROCERY "WHERE QUALITY COUNTS" Phone 2. Camden, S. C. WANT a Better More i BAN KBR8 indorse DRAUGHON'S Colleges than Indorse alf other burfl nesatollegesC^MJMN E D . 48 Colleges In 18 States. International reputation. tsoottMpin* Bookkeepers all over the United States say that Draughon'a New System ?f Bookkeeping savea them from 25 to 50 per cent in work and worry. ?. OS DftAlTGIION'S PHACTIC n*i*n?;3twiy; i*rst bodKkeepei holdlm Thousands of bankcash ? , And 'Stenographers -Are taklng-pftuKh^,M^rn11 04 &AIJL. writa Jno. F? Dlu President, Nashville, Toftn. For> ?logue on co ursa AT COLLS BDSIN