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DEVOTED TO SOUTHERN RIGHTS, DEMOCRACY, NEWS, LITERATURE, AGRICULTURE, SCIENCE AND THE ARTS. WILLIAM LEWIS, - JOHN S. RICHARDSON, JiR., PROPRIETORS. e -t. TERMS-621 N ADVANCE VOL. VIII. SUlITERVILLE, S. C., SEPT., 204 1854. NO. 47. THE SUMTER BANNER 15 i'U t1l.Slli l S Every Wedmei4dny 3Ioriiiiig BY Lewis & Richardson, TWO 1)OT.T.ASt in alvance, Two Dollars and Fifty :erits at the expiration of six inonlths or Three Dollars at the: end of the year. No paper disontinnedi until all arrearage's ore PAIL, 1imless at the option of the 'rnprietor. 7 A Ivertisetnents inserted at SIVi-:NT' FI' Cents per square, (1' lines or less,) for the first, and half that sum for each subsequent Insertiin, (Oficial advertisellents tine same 'each timne). g 'I'he number of insertions to he marked on all Aivertisements or they will be publishedl 1ntil orderel to be discontinued, and eharged accorcdingly. gY' ON f" 1)Ot.I.AIt per square for a single insertion. Qnnrterly and Montlily Advert te ments will be charged the sante as a single in sertion,. ani sentti-montlIly the same as new ones Ori i Dnal Poetry. For the lainner. Lisies ons tle Deatih of a Biother. They tell tme mother thou art gone 1 no mnore on earth i to dweil; 'hfat I mnust not Iourn thy-loss-for what Gti decrees " is well," That the 1l1iov Work of his doth say, what Ile does s for the best : That I iust not mnourn dear mother ? for they know you're Iome at rest. Bui there's painflul IcoCllecteins nother ' left of you behindi, Ani w~hen recaliil! iack tile past, and its ever in lily iliilli; I think of your kind-greeti'g voice, in union wnth your sntille, Oh how it. grieves me moother ! to thin1k ol' that the while. In ciihoui's happiest hour, and in sor row and despair, You were always by rine nmher ! you were always-ever near And if I chanced to do things wrong, or tol iii, in your sight You were ready-ever-to check inc, and to guide Inc in the right. liver--always my .' ir o~ther ivt ;r-. . cepts I will obey, Atnll ibibluw in your !o-ttte;w until that fin~al clay, When Goid decrees it st, to remove tiu nom1 this World; Oh yes'$, Iny dear, good imother ! to do so, I shall toil. And now you're gone lily mother ! I can hir vuir vOice no mtfore, I feel so sid and mountinl I would I too could go ; And when I'm ta'.en from this Earth, oh may I nieet yout there ? Where: ang:s shout their praises ? up in th Icavenil ;iliypire ! S. A. S. Astrology. A celebrated writer. alliding to this subject, says it is remarkable that of the many predictions which have been made by astrologers frot tiie to tim1e, so few of them have been veri tied. I iatory, however, records matny instatces whete the predictions of as trologera have been fullilled. in the prescnt ugLe, when such events occur, they are merely considered remarka ble eoincieJt'nces. The Duke of A thol, uncle of James J. of Scot ind, had been assured by a pretender to the occult sciences, that le would live to be a King, and would be crowned publicly in presence of a large tsemibly of t he people. lie put litith in this prediction, and to husten the LulliilmeIit of the piophecy, caused his nephew to be as-asinated. But he paid the penalty of his anae crime, S and was iced to exeution in one of the public squares of Edinburgih. Ile was taunted and reviled by the popu iJace, wh'io placed on his head ani i ron croUwn, ont which was inseibed "The King of' TraiLtrs." The fito of iEschylus, the Greek tragi~ediani, is wvell known. It hnas bteen j.redicted Lhat hie would be killed by the falling of a hiouso. Onte day, while lie wats walking in the ficids, ut a distance from any hurnatn habitation, an eagle wich had carried off a tor' toise ini his talonis, but could not dlis engage the meat fromi the shell, p~er ceived the bal head of the poet, and probably taking it f'or a rock, let the tortoise fiull upon it fromi a great height. Btut iEschyluis h'ad Lhe worst of' it-for' his skull was frtatctur'ed, atnd he died on the spot. An astrolloger alt the Court of Lewis Xl. of France, predicted ani afflieting evenit, which catme to pass. 'Vie kirg sient for the sage, having previously ordere'd his satellites to bei prepared at a gviven signal (0 seize htitm and throw lhim out of' the wvindow. The king said to him, on his entranitce, "You who pretend to lif't the v'eil of' futuri ty, can yotu foretell the exact hiour' of your o wn dea th ?"' "No, sire," said theu wary anst rologer', wi th admiirale prseceo mindl~, sitspectintg the d~e bign of the ty raint, "I only know that. I shall die exactly three days before youir Majesty !" Tlhe king wats tlhunl derstruck at thais auiswer, antd ref'rained ftom giving Lthe signial. Sir W~alter' Seott ha~s yuy ingenuously interwoven this auimedute inte the Ltb of' Quentin ])tjrwarc. Cardun.l ai soothsayer, wh~o dealt ex f~esiivin. hllrusonepLs. was not particularly fortunate in his predic tions. In onte instance, however, ie made use of a very elleetual means to guard against any mistake. JIe pre dicted the day of his death, and when the time drew near, and his health, much to his mortification, continued rinpaired, he absolutely abstained fromt food, and died of hunger, on the day predicted, that. he might nt fidi sifv his prediction. 'T'hat oracle of' moral anl political wisdom, ford Bacon, in his chapter upon Prophecies, speaking of modern predictions and prophecies, says. "My judgment is, that they ought all to be dispised, aid ought, to Serve for winter talk by the fireside. Though when I say dlispised, I mean it as f~ r belief for in otherwise the spreading or pur biishirg of them is in nn sort to be dispised ; for they have done much iischief. I see many severe laws mniadIe to suppress then surne grace and some credit, consisteth in three things. First, that men mark when they hit, but never mark when they miss, as they do generally. The second is, that probably conjectures or obscure traditions many Liines turn ticmselves out prophecies. The third and last. (which is the great, one) is, that all moswt all of them, being infinite in Snmber, have been irip stors ; aid by idle and crafty brains merely contri ved and feigned after the event pass The Refeormaiatou of Wil iati Wirt. A Ti-e iei-:NCrENr is nts IiSTORY. The distingui-lied William Wirt withia six or seven tmontis after his miiarriage, becamrne addicted to intern anrce, the eflIet of which operated strongly on the iniid and health of Iris wift. aid in a few nia-rithrs a1nre she was numabered amrong the dead. Her death led himi to leave the cvrntrv in which he resided, and he ini.oved to .1lieiin d. id, where ie s' aoon r ( . i. tinetiot. lut his habits hung about hii), and occasionally ie was found with jolly and ftalieiutie spirits ili Liat-cliuial ian revelry. l1is practice beg:n to fall off, and rnimy loukid ri on iiim as on the sure road to ruin. lie was advised to. get married, with a view of correcting hiis habits. 1his he consented to d if t the right person otiered. Ile accordingly paid his ad dresses to Miss Gantble. After some monuth's attentions Ie asked her hand in marriage. She replied " Mi. Wirt, I have been -well aware of your attensions some time back, and shiould have given you to under stand that your visits and attentions were not aeeptable, had I not recip rocated the aflection w ich your evinced for me. Bit I cannot yield assent until you make mre a pledge never to touch, taste, or handle any intoxica tiig drink." This reply, to Wirt, was unexpected as it was novel. ills reply was, that he regarded the propositioan as a bar to further considerationt oni the subject, and he left her. 1er course toward him was the samte-his, r esentment, and neglect.. In the course of a few weeks ie went again and solicited her hand. Ile becamie ,indignant and regarded the terms she proposed, as an insult to his honor, and vowed it should be the last meeting they should ever have. Ileo took to dIirkinag worse anda wor-se, arid secemed to aruna headionag to rin. Oner day, wvhi e lyirng ini tire city, near a little grog shop or grocery dead drunk, aL young lady whnomr it, is riot necessary to niahme, was passmng tiat. way to her home, rnot, far ol, .andu Ibe hreld him with iris faee turnred up to tire rays of thre scorchinig suar. Sire took her handkerchaief, with lieri own nratme maarked upon it, aind placed it, over iris fhce. After he hrad remrainred ini that position ihr somne hrours, Ire was awakenred, and iris thirst being so grreat, ihe wenrt into thre grog sirop or gzrocery to get a dr-ink, wihen hre dis covered the hanrdkercirief' at, wich he looked, arid tire namre was oar it.. Af ter pausinrg a fewv miniutes, Ire exclaim. ed, " Great God ! whmo hans left, this with me'? Whio placed tis over mry fhee?' No one kunew. Hie droppred tire glass exclairming "Erroughr ! enrourgh !"' lie retired instnrtliy f'rom thre store, forgetting iris thrirst but niot iris de baucir, tire hrand kerchtief or the lady - vowing, if God gave himt strenigth, never to touch ta-ste or hanirdle inrtoxr eatinrg dirinks. To meet, Miss G'amrbie was onre of tire hrardest efforts of iris life,. If' he mnet he-ra in her cariarge or orr foot, Ire rpped round tire nrearest. eor-ier. Sire at, last, addressed hrima a nrote under her own hantrd, inrvitinrg him to her hrouse, wichi ire finally gathered couraege t~o accept. .lie todd her if shre still borec arflectioan ihr imr hre would agree to hrer ownr tea-ms. 1Her answer was r' My conditlins are now whrat threy evenr have bet-na " Then," said W irt, "I accept them." [They were soon married, and from that day he kept his word, and his af fairs brightened, while honor and glory gathered around his brow. His name has been enrolled high in the temple of fame ; while patriotism and renown live after him with imperishable lus tre. How many noble minds might the young ladies save, if they would fol. low t he example of the heroine hearted Miss Gamble, the relation of Lafay - ette A Yankee Stratagem. The " General Monk," about the beginning of the year 1782, was a terror to all merchant vessels which navigated the Deleware Bay. Ilav. img a regular commission, she was justified inl making captures, and played havoc with the commerce of the bay and river. The vessel car ried eighteen nine pounders. and was manned by one hund red and fifty tmen. The news of her continued captures was anything but. pleasing to the Phil adelphians, and much conversation took place upon the subject among the citizens. At a casual meeting of merchants and others, at Crawford & Donald son's insurance ofice, in Market street, (insurance companies were not com mon then,) the conversation turned upon the damage which this vessel was committing, with entire intpunit.. It was thought proper to do somethinig to remove the pest; and the gestlemen present agreed to raise a loan tr the purpo-,- of fitting out a vessel to attack the Englishmen. The lank of North America loaned the money on the responsibility of the subscrib ers, and with it the "IIyder Ali" was purchased of John W. Stantley, and placed in command of Commodore B3arney. A commission as a " letter of to argue " was procured, and the crew wNs Composed of volunteers. The vcasel was fitted out with four nine pounders and twelve sixes, lc crew nuinihered one hundred and twenty, imostly landsmen. There was consequently a great inferiority on the part of the American vessel in point of meta! and men. Nevertheless, [iarney sailed in a week, having disguised his vessel as a rmerchantmn. lie coinmanded the crew that, when he should order them to board, they should not board but tite; and when he directed them to fire, they should board. They soon espied the " General Monk," which proved to be not so fast a sailor as the " Hil. der Ali " Barney therefiore, hung over a drag anchor to impede his way; and deceived by the slowness, and expect ing an easy prey, the English vessel ranged up to them. W hen they got near enough to the American, Barney cried out to the men: " Prepare to board !" The lEnglishimen, interpreting his conm: nad literally, lined the sides of his vessel to resist tie boarding. Tie Americans took their stations at the guns. Once there, Barney cried out: " Board." Instantly a flash broke out from the broadside of the I lyder Ali, and the iron Inissives produced a terrible efTect upon the thick ranks which lined the decks of the opposing vessel. The captain of the Monk ordered his men to fire, but, it, was ton late. One hun dIre'd men had been stricken downi killed amnd wounded by thme first broad side0; among the latter were the En. glish captain and manmy oflicers. TIhe fire was but feebly returned, anid Bar ney, ordering his men~i to fire, boarded the vessel, and took possession without a blow. Tlhey brought their prize uip to Ph'iladelpjhia, mid great was the rejoicing thereat. Bai ney's loss was bu~t four killed and fifteen wounded. A Ouurious .MiStor'y of a tMa sonic Blibic. A correspondenlt thus writes to us: " It miay not, be known to you that the F'reemasons of'the -16th regiment nIow stationed in WVindsor, have in their possessionm the original bible belong. ing to lodge 227 of' the lmrish constitu tion, once in existence in that corps, upon which Geor-ge Washinigtoni, aiftern~ardls connander-in-chief of' the armuy of' the United States, was initia ted into the rites of f'reemasonry. This book was taken in battle- once in 1777, during the American' war, once by the French, at Doiminica, in 1805, and each time honorably re. stored to the lodge of' the 416th, with a miilitary escort as a guard of' hoinor Each ease of r'estoration wais a scenem of moral beauty-a triumpllhant vinidica. tioni of the puriity ofimasonic principles. Th'le surpr'ise and feelings of' both ofli eer's and men may be imiagined when they perceived the flag of' truce that annlouncied this elegant comnplimient from their gallant opponents but still noblier brethren, who ofTer-ed, by the act, the acknowledgment and homage of an etnlightened nation of the purity, v-ale. and uttility of masonry. I am sure Brother Tylie (Major, to whose charge this "jewel " is entrusted, will allow his fellow craft to view this, te them, most interestin, relic of days gone by, especially a- it is again about to brave the dangers of active war. May God speed these gallant follows wherever they g,! lintsr and Eton E.rpress. A Silcnt Man. Capt. Stone, of the steamer Canada, now in this port, is probably the most silent man afloat. Sailors who have been with hime many months say they never heard him speak. lie wri'es his orders to his oflicers, and if the.v f(it in carrying the;n out, he repri mands them in writting. Yet he his the reputation of being oe of the most skillful and prudent captains of the Cunard line, and r emarkahle fior his powers of personal endurance. When at sea he rarely leaves the deck, night or day, more than an hour at a time, and nothing appears to escape his notice. Still he does not speak, either to his oflicers or passen gers. On a recent passage two wags who were passengers in his ship, no ticed this peculiarity, and at dinner one day were quite eloquent upon the blessings of speech, and by way of rontrast, expressed their deep conumni ceation for dummies. One of the wags was so overcome by his feelings that he deliberately took an onion from his pocket and applied it to his right eye, while he gazed at Capt. Stone with the left. Poor, dear gentleman," he sobbed, as the tears followed the onion, " I wonder if he is deaf as well as dumb." This was too much for the passen. gers, who burst into a roar of laughter, in which Capt. Stone joined as heartily as the rest. When order was restored he said - " Gentlenwr, ladies, or ladies and gentlemnci., : acknow;edg-e that I ap. pear t" ,-2- .'t-Ag" t.y not sp'eNk ing imore thade i do; bu; :wuat would you have mre to say? It is my con. stant care to see that you are properly -attended to.in every particular. What more can you desire?" After this efyort he resumed silenee, and has not been known to speak since.-Borton Atlas. Extreane Modesty. I heard of a easet of extreme modes ty the other day; so extreme that it could not be understood. A lady went into Thornley's India rubber store, and inquired of the fascinating Mr. 'T'. " lave you any India-rubber elegy enicirclers?" " What did you say, ma'am?" said the store-keeper, slightly confounded. "Elegy encirclers," reieated the lady, with a blush. Thornley looked round the store, first at the great piles of India-rubber, then at gutta percha, then at India-rub. her cloth, and so on, but without, see ing anything corresponding to the name. " You're sure it's made of India rubber?" said Mr. '1'., inwardly de. claring that there was nothing mode of that article that he had not seen. " Oh, yes," replied the lady. '- Do you see anything like it?" at length returned the bewildered fellow. The lady looked round the well filled store, and at. length er eye rested up)on a box, which she blushingly pointed to. What do you suppose it, cointamedl Garters! She was soon helped to a pair, and as she took ther leave, it. all at one occurred to Mr. Th'lornuley that garter-s wero lie-g ecierclers. .Adm'antage of p~lnini Fi",t Trees~ on D1)ecltics.-Do)dar t. first obisem vedl that trees pmur,hed their branches in a direction parallel to, the surface of the earth. If a tiree stands on a steep it p~ushues both towards the hill and towardls the declivity; buit on both sides it still preseres its branebes paralleled to the surface. As theire is an attraction between the uipper suir Ihee of leaves anid light, I aim also persuaded, though not egnally certain of' it fromi experimlent that there is an attraction of lie samei naiur-e b~etwe~en the under surface oif the earth. This I consider thle true cause of the phe nomo'nous, I had long observed that the most fruitful orchards and the most fertile trees aie those planted on a declivity, and the steeper it is, though not qluite a precipuice, thme iiorc fertile they priove. It, is well knownm that thme spreading of trees altways rendmers them fri-itfi Il. On a plaini the~y incIlie to shoot uipwards; and therefore vari. 0ns ways, to check their perpendicular, amid to pirommote their lateral growth. Blut, this point is obtaiined on a decliv ity by mttare. Th'lere a tree loses its tendency to shoot uipaurds and in order to preserve its br-anches parallel with the surface, is constrained to put them in a lateral direction. Heonce an important rule ini the chmoice of orehards and frulit gardens.--I srner's Jouernal. The Destiny of our Coun try. The following statistics, extracted from the Boston Post, present, in a compact and compendious form, the astonishing extent of our country, its boundless resources, and its wonderful development. In view of our recent origin and unparalleled advancement in all that constitutes national great ness, it is not wonderful that the na tions of Europe, that for a long time looked upon us with indifierence or disdain, should now regard us as the great and growing Power of the World. Who, save omnipotence, can lim Wit us, and who, save omniscience, can tell the surpassing grandeur of our destiny-of the A nierican Republic ? Let it guard against assaults from within, and it can easily shield itself from all external enemies. " The thirty-one States, nine Terri. tories, and District of Columbia, con prising the United States of America, are situated within the parallels of 10 deg., east longitude and 48 min., west of the meridian of' Washington, and extending on the Atlantic coast from 25 deg., and on the l'acific coast from 32 deg., to 40 deg., of north latitude, and euntains a geographical area of 3,300,9065 square miles, being one tenth less than the entire continent of Europe. They contain a population at the present time of 25,000,000,'of whom :M,000,000 are whites. The extent of its sea-coast, exclusive of is. land.s to the head of tide-water, is 12, 609 miles. The length of ten of its principal rivers is 20,000 miles. The surthee of its live great lakes is 90,000 miles. The number of miles of rail. ways in operation wit.uin its limits is 20,000, constructed at a cost of $600,. 000,000. The length of its canals is 5,000 miles. It contains within its dim its the longest railway upon the surface of the globe-the Ilinois Central which is 731~n:iles. The annual valeo of its agricultur al productions is $2,000,000,000. Its most valuable product is Indian corn, which yields ~annually 400,000,000; and in surveying the agricultural pro ductions- of our country, we are not only struck with their abundance, but with their great variety. Our territo. ry extends from the frigid region of the north to the genial climate of the tropics, aflrding almost every variety o; temperature and every kind of grain and vegetables. Her productions range from the cold ice and hard granite of the North, the golden corn of the West, to the cotton and sugar of the South; and nearly all in suflicient quan tities to supply our domestic consunip. tion, and furnish large supplies for exportation, thus furnishing nearly all the value as well as the bulk of our foreign commerce; suggesting thereby the irresistable conclusion that agri culture is the great transcendant inter est of our country, and upon which all other interests depend. "The amount of registered and en rolled tonnage is 4,407,010 tons. The amount of capital invested in manu fictures is *600,009,000. The amount of its foreign imports in 1853 was $266,978,647, and the exports *230, 076,157. The annual amoant of its internal trade is $6,000,000,000. The annual value of the products of labor (other than agricultural) is $1,500,000. The annual value of the incomes of its inhiabiiants is $1 ,000,000,000. The value of its farms and live stock is $5,000,000,000. Its mi ,es of gold, copper, lead, and iron are among the richest in the world. Tihe value of' the gold produced in California is *10,000, 000 per annum. Th'le surface ol its corn lields is 132,132 square miles. Its receipts fr-om customs, lands, &c., in 1853, was *61,327,274, and its expen ditures $-43,543,'263. Its national do. main consists of '2,174,168 square umiles of land. Its national debt is but *50,000,000. The number of its banks at the present time is about 1,100, with at capital of $3,000,000,000 W. i thlin her borders are 81,000 schools, 6,060 academies, 2:34 colleges, and :3,800 churches. Only one in twenty. two of' its white inihabitats is unable to read anid write, and nineteen of its twenty-one million of its white inhabi tants are native horn." Ca I- I aELAN.-- We have the following by the last steameor in rela tion to the crops in Ireland: "The weather during the last week has been rather untsettled; but, al though a good deal of' rain hass fallen, the grain crops do not appear to have bteen at all injured. T1hie wheat looks well, anid is now ripening fast. and I do not observe that it has itt any place been beaten down. It is remairkably free from blightt or smut, while the ear is considered unusually large and full. The oat crop has sull'eired more from -the rain and wecather tihan the wheat; nor is it altogether so free frotm blight, although upon this head there is cer tainly little to comnp lain of. "Upon the whole, there is still every reason to think that thc grain crops will be the most abundant that have been gathered for many years. With regard to potatoes, there can be no doubt the disease is now spreading, but not to such an alarming extent as some people represent. The new potatoes are generally in use through out the country; and although the leaves, and in some cases the stalks, are blighted, yet the tubers are scarce ly touched, while, for the most part the quality is excellent. The quanity sown this year is unprecedentedly large, even compared with the very best of times, so that. it is hoped that after all casualties and losses, there will be a full average supply." Early Courtsithip iin Ohio. It you can't git them that you want. you must take them you can git, and that is how I came marry Patsy. Love will go where 'tis sent anyhow, and the harder a chap loves a gal, the poorer chance he stands of gitten her ; the thing is just here; the more lie loves her, the more shy and trembling he is, and he can't tell his feelings to her ifhe tries-while the careless and unfeeling chap, that's got no more love in him than a Boss, can have a dozen gals after hin at once. I have thought the heart ii like mud turtles' eggs, you dent the shell on one side-a dent on the othsr side, made in the same manner, will bring all smooth again. So with the heart; one gal makes a dent-it remains bruised, till some other gal presses it, pushing out the old bruise and carving a new one. Well:accidents will happen, folks will laugh-the world is wore fond of fun than logic-and they might as well laugh at Inc as any body. So I agreed to tell you about my courtship. It was't Patsy, but my first sweet-heart was a proper han' sonee gal. I worked for her father. Ohio was all in the woods then, and every body lived in log houses. Down in Cleveland there was a store or two. And my three hundred acres that is worth now one hundred and fifty dol. lars an acre, wasn't worth when I bought it only three dollars. Pshaw I pesaw ! how times is changed. Glad to get corn bread and common gravy then-had to go thirty miles down to chagin to mill. I always used to go up for boss instead of himself, for 1 only "hefted" ninety pounds in weight and made a lighter load over a bag of corn on horseback. Let me see I weigh one hundred and eghty now. Well, I was twenty-five years old just about, and in love with boss's daughter but always thought she felt a leetle above me, for I was not quite as tall as she was anyhow, and work ing at eight dollars a month and had to dress in tow linen at that. You never see one of them logging frocks made like a, shirt, out of flax tow, did yer Well, I bought this blue coat when I married Patsy, thirty and five years ago. I never wore any but that, and it it was Sunday, to-day, I should have it on., for I dispise extravagance and new fangled flumories and thingum bob noodles' 'round y'r houses. I was in love thirty five years ago, head over heels, and never dared to say a word about it. . Her name was Jerusha. I longed to el hr owmy hatswelled and burnt for her as it is thumped agin my chest; but 1 could never screw my courage up to the pint-but thought I would somec day ; I'd beent alone with her many times anid had resolved and resolved on popping it right .out, but the stillness was as awful on theum 'ea sions as tho roar of the Niagara. and moy heart would feel all over like your little linger when you hit your elbow 'gin a thing accidenutal, a tarnal ting ling fullness. Cuss my luck, said I to myself. One Sunday night I cumn hum from nill alter a ride of three day's and Jer-usha had a beau ; dressed as sniart as a dancing master. My heartjnmp ed into my gullet the very minute I see him. I-felt down in the mouth for I knew I was a gone fellow, lie had oun broadcloth. Talk of your new faingled Gossop and Greshon houses now, but folks in them days didn't have but one room down "tairs, and a ladder to go up stairs; a puncheon floor was good enough below, and oak uhanker split out by hand, kivered the chamber floor. It wasi in boss's house and I slept up chamnber. I want to remuem ber mny torn shirt and I want you to imiaginue mny feelinags that ntight after I want to bed for .Jerusha and the dandy chap had the hull room below to themselves with a rousing bright lire to spark. 1 couldn't stand the temptation to hear what they had to say for themselves. WVhisper I whis per!I whisper ! You may laugh at it, but it is the naked truth I amn going- to tell. I have laughed myself at the same thing. WVhen I heard something pop likea kiss, by ginger I could s and my heart thumps no longer. Curiosity and jealousy got the upper hand of - me; I wanted to see tfr mysell, so I slid out of bed setting flat like a tailor on tiwe floor, determined to hitch up just as I sot, inch at a time, to the opening over the hearth where the beames and gun hooks was. A cat couldn't been no stiller arter a mouse, but my heart thumpt.d lurid, er every hitch, just as it will when a man goes to do what aint right. Well, just as I had gained the right pint to look over at 'em just tilted the floor-down I went, tow shirt to gnu hook-and there I hung blindthid, like a squirrel half skinne i, right over my rival and sweet 'alt-ready fiui' bathing. I couldn't see 'em at all arter that and it was more than ten minutes befire the old boss awoke to tare me loose; dangling found the tire. What, what, said he, got a spare rib? Iha ! let ime down, said I. I gut pretty well bakedi, any how, and haint been quite so raw in love mat ters, I never looked Jerrsha in the face from that day, nor a girl in the neighborhood, fir I could swear she. told 'em all. That accident got' Aly grit up to make a fortin. I went ofI' a few miles and m:irried the first chance I got, just out of spite-and Patsy is worth all on 'em urter all -and inar. rying is a lottery business. Then don't hang yuurselt as I did be ease you can't get a particul -r girl but remember that your heart is like ' rubber, it will stretchi a good ways and not break. Substitute for Guano, Messrs. .iditors-" What shall We use as a substitute for guano?" This question was considered in the Conn. iry Gentlemen of July 20. 1 see no difficulty in finding a substitute for guano, or rather finding the principal for which guano is now used is a sub. etituto. Whatever contains .ihu eie" -ments of guano, must be equally vn1i' - able as a fertilizer. If the f.rmer will cuinpare the analysis of guano with that of urine, he will find urine as rich in every element of fertility as guano, with the exception perhaps of the phosphate of lime. But this do flciency could easily be supplied by the application of common lime with animal manures. No farmer should ever purchase guano or any foreign manures, while he wastes all the urine of his animals and of his family. Urine could be used with good effect as guano, and at an expense compara tively trifling. No farmer need go of' from his own farm for the means to enrich it, for lie has only to return to each field but. a small part of what grows upon it to keep it in a high state of fertility. But Nature has no substitute for urine or the elements of urine. The urine must either be returned to the soil, or something "containing the same ele. ments. For these elements, guano is now used as a substitute. There should be then but one question with the farmer. That is how shall I save with the least expense, and use to the best advantage the time of my animal, and family I I am acquainted with scores of farmers that purchase annu. ally various quantities of poudrotte, phosphate of lime and guano, that have never saved the first pound oif the excrement of' their family. the urine of their animals, or the droppings of their hen.roost. Any farmer should he ashamed, either to raise small crops, or to purchase foreign manures wvhen. any of the above elements are allowed to go to waste. A RlUs.-One of our SecretarIes of State for the United States struck omut a good mode of setting rid (fran intru der in a partienir case. It appears that the door iteeper of' the Secretary's office was remarkably obliging, which proved quite the thling for a rabid office seeker, who maniged to get in every day and bother the Secretary. When the anlnoyance continued three or four days, the Secretary stepped up one morning to the door Keeper, and asked what 'hat mnan came after daily. "Yes," replied the funotionaery, " an officee, I suppose?" "True; but do you know what oflice?" "~ Well, then. I'll tell you, he wants your place." The next morning the scene between ofliceseeker and the polite door keeper is said to have been rich, f'romi the peculiar manlier in wvhich the intruder was informed--" The Secretar) is not at home !" A NOVELIS'S CONFExsstoN.-Bulwar the novelist, in a letter to a gentleman in Boston said "I have closed lmy .ca re'er as writer of fact ion. I gm gloomy and unhappy. I have exausted the powers of' life, chasing pleasuro where at is not be found." Thn Printers know what these'lines are ihr. -