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* | SMILES Well Pleased. "How do you like your hotel Clara?" "Oh, fine! The rooms are smal and dark and the food is badly cook ed, but the gossip is excellent."? Judge. Very Slow. "Yes," said the young lady, I spen the entire evening telling him tha he had a terrible reputation for kiss ing girls against their will." "And what did he do?" "He sat there like a boob and de nied it."?Kansas City Journal. What a Relief. (Pathfinder) Mr. Manley?Well, my dear, I'v< had my life insured for $5,000. Mrs. Manley?How very sensibh of you! Now I shan't have to keej telling you to be so careful everj place you go. IJisqualified. "If they persist in teaching th< boys in the military school tactics don't believe our Willie would go ii for it." "Do you mean he is too chicken hearted?" "No; he is too pigeon-toed."? Cleveland Plain Dealer. Inspiring Words. "Have Another?" "Inclosed Find Checki" "Here's That Five I Borrowed." "This is on Me." "We Have Decided to Increas< Your Salary." "That's Good." "I Love You." "You win."?Cincinnati Enquirer. Ma's Job. "Mamma, what would you do ii that big vase in the parlor should rd broken?" said Tommy. "I should whip whoever did it,' said Mrs. Banks, gazing severely ai little son. "Well, then, you'd better begin tf get up your muscle," said Tommy " 'cos papa's broke it."?Exchange. Hnn^innr Him Ono "Ath I wath thaying, Miss Athby,' lisped little Peewit, "I thall nevei marry until I meet thome one wh( ith my vewy oppothi'te." The breezy athletic lady eyed hin straightly. "Well, my dear man," she said "there are plenty of bright, intelli Kent girls about."?Exchange. Set Right. A stout old gentleman was having trouble with the telephone. He couh hear nothing but a confused jumbl* of sounds, and finally he became s< exasperated that he shouted into th< t transmitter: "Who's the blithering idot at tin end of this line?" "He's not at this end," apswered : ' cool feminine voice. Table Humor. She was eating her first country club ice cream and pointing to th< pistachio part in the centre she sai( to the young man she was dininj with. "What is that?" "Oh, that's an oasis," he replied "A what?" "An oasis?a little preen spot ii the desert, you know."?Boston Tran script. Working the Rube. When the bottom fell out of a re cent real estate boom in a South western State, the desire to pet ri< of the property was as preat as i had been to acquire it. One day a lawyer while travelinj alonp a country road met an ol< friend of his wearily but happib leadinp a reluctant cow toward town Inquiry elicited the information tha he acquired the cow in exchange fo a city lot. "And do you know," said the nev owner of the cow, laughing. "I jes turned a trick with that old rube He can't read a word, and in th< deed I worked off two lots on hin instead of one."?New York Times. Choked Him Off Younp Percy Prunes had persist ently paid his attentions to the beau tiful pirl in the next street. From hei point of view they were about as wel come as rent collectors are on settliiu days. Once he chanced to get her alon< with himself at a Christmas party They sat down together. / "I?I think I?er?I will approact your father tonight. Could you advis< as to how I should commence?" "I consider, sir, that you had bet tor suggest before commencing tha' he should bear in mind the penalties resulting from violent assault, butch ery, manslaughter and damages to i person. Papa is so impulsive, yoi know."?Answers. Perhaps It Was. In Washington, William Colliei was once in conversation with a mar of much scientific attainment. Th? scientist narrated in detail a serie? of experiments he was conductinf with the nuchrophone. "The michrophone." said ho, "mag nifies sounds to the ear as the micro scope magnifies objects to the eye The footfalls of a spider heart through the microphone sound lik< the tramping of marching infantry.' "That is amazing," politely com ment.ed Mr. Collier. "This afternoon," continued th< man of science, "I heard a fly walk ini* across the pane. The noise re sembled the hoofbeats of a cavalry man's mount." "Perhaps it was a horse fly," sug gested the actor.?Exchange. \ WILKIN S VILLE I Wilkiiu /ille, S. C., Feb. 17.?It has ' been sometime since I have written a letter to The Times, but I have been reading it regularly all *he , ? time and take great interest in it. In nearly half century the paper has 1 been a welcome visitor to my home ~ and I feel much interest in the town " and county it represents. Since my last letter a cloud has come over my life and pathway that is impenetrable by human eyes and ^ at times I grope in darkness as it 1 were in the darkness of despair. " But a knowledge of the fact that the setting sun of today will be the , rising sun of tomorrow gives us " cheer and hope that the world cannot take away. Only those who have such experience will agree with me that the shock of a hundred battles is as nothing compared to the 2 loss of a dear and devoted, loving j wife, whose whole life was spent 2 in making hers an ideal and happy 1 home. No sacrifice was too great or ! r labor too arduous for her when the welfare of dependents was the object 1 for which she strove. For twentynine years she had been a teacher * in the Sabbath school and nothing ' gave her more pleasure than to teach 1 the little children to "Sing of a ' Saviour's dying love" and of his rising power. Since she was called < away from us on the 13th of January I have had letters of sympathy and < condolence from friends scattered from Washington to Texas. From these we have the assurance thav ! the writers are helping u.s to oeu. the burden, which if left alone to ; bear would crush us beneath its might. Her life went out as gentle ? J and quietly as the sun sets behind the western skies and we mourn not , as these without hope, for the Lord gave and the Lord taketh away; blessed be the name of the Lord." ] Mr. F. A. Goforth, one of our best citizens had the misfortune to cut f his foot last week with an axe while t chopping wood. He was some distance from his home when the accident happened but he managed to get t to the house and called Mrs. Lee, . his nearest neighbor,_who with her y daughter, came to his assistance ami ] ? bound up his wound and it is doing very well, but it will be days and maybe weeks before he can walk on ] it again. It so happened that none ' of his family were at home when r the accident happened. ) Mr. Jonathan Buice, one of our old neighbors who now lives near Hick 1 ory Grove, came over and spent a few days last week with his friends , on this side. We were all glad to - see him and would have been glad for him to have stayed longer. Herbert Finley, the little five year old son of Mr. and Mrs. Sam J. r Strain, has been sick for several days j and Dr. W. A. Hard of Hickory ? Grove was called to see him and ) treated the case. He has grippe and 2 jaundice. Your correspondent ,was very 2 much disappointed in consequence of siA-nMSu in (li.. familu lu. ?li?l nnl <r..i x to attend the Laymen's Missionary convention in session in Charlotte, ' N. C. This convention is made up of representatives of the Southern . Presbyterian church and its object is ] ? to send the gospel to the heathen j lands as well as strengthen the faith , and influence of its members in the ] home land. The rain night before last has put our roads in bad condition again. The , writer had been over them and they j were in good condition last week, so much so that automobiles were running glibly last Sabbath. I met Mr. W. J. Morehea 1 of Blacksburg at Hickory Grove last week, he is an old neighbor of ours I I and a life reader and subscribe;* to t The Times and he speaks so well of the paper. r According to the old Dutch rule, "j today?Ash Wednesday, decides the r fate of the wheat crop this year. If * the day is fair it will be a good crop ( if otherwise, it will be a failure. But we take no stock in such only to merely mention it in passing. Messrs Sam. J. Strain and Asa ( Black well are doing some house- ' building and improving. ' Rev. Keaton, the new preacher on < the Gafi'ney circuit, preached at 1 Mopotamia last Sabbath. 'i here will be no fail moon ihi' month, this has not happened before since I860. We were so glad to have our friend "Moxy" call upon us last week. ' He is representing a marble and granite company in Spartanburg, anil ' doing a fairly good business in Cher- 1 okee county. He is a jolly good fel- ] 3 low, a fine talker, and no doubt would make one of the opposite sex an agreeable life partner. I allude to 3 this much for brother "Smike's" ben 3 elit as any other of The Times readers, except "Moxey" himself. _ Vox. | i 1 ho Guirilr.o That ?-a<; Hoi Af'eot The llr.Su . Mecnu.-i? of it* tonic 'in.'. I.vativt* effect. I AMArivi-: IIIKIMI) Ol INI.sJ, !s better tliiui ordinary 1 1 Quinine arid docs not cause nervousness nor , j ringing in liead. Remember the full name and look for the signature of K. W. GROVK. 25c. Correspondingly Small. Quiet and confident, the young r traveler for the patent fertiliser de) termi'ned to sound Farmer Filbert > as to his firm's latest product ? But the farmer saw him coming ( r ayont the turnips, and knew him and \ his ilk of old. , "No, young fellow," he finished up, - after a lengthy argument. "These newfangled ideas don't appeal to rre. , J Nohting can beat the old natural for- \ i tilizer." ' "Go'id heaven*. sir!" exclaimed he - exasperated young patent-pusher, j "The day is coming when a man will . ; be able to carry enough fertilizer for - an acre of land in his watch pocket!" , "Maybe he will, my boy," allowed - Filbert, as he chewed a fresh straw. "And I reckon he'll be able to carry the crop in the same pocket, too!"? Philadelphia Public Ledger. HER NAME WAS MAUD ? (J. A. Hall, in Atlanta Journal.) A Georgia mule was Maudie, Who used to gambol free Thro' verdant fields and pastures Up there in Cherokee. Alas, one day a stranger Led Maud away from home, And sent her swiftly sailmg Far o'er the briny foam. To where the war was raging? And bullets fell like rain 'Mid rifle pits and trenches On Belgium's sodden plain. They hitched her to a cannon, And ordered her to go, In the tongue of F.mile Zola? A sound she d'.d not know! Poor Maudie was not happy? She didn't l'ke their style? She backed against the Frenchies , And kiekad 'em 'bout a mile. She scattered Sikhs and Tommies, And knocked the Turcos out, She busied up two autos, And then she wheeled about. And she charged upon the kitchen, And overset the soup; And 'round the general's noggin Her heels they looped the loop. ? She leaped the narrow trenches, And with a wild bazoo. She bade the screaming allies A resonant adieu. She charged among the Germans, Without a single wince? She smashed the line of battle .And trampled on a prince! pj Phev went for her with Zeppelins And Krupps and Rattling guns? Fhey tore the trees with shrapnel And deadly metal buns. But Maud just kicked and bellowed And switched her tail at such; Fr And tfidloped into Holland ga And took up with the Dutch. to< * ?: in Bad ltoads Did it. A farmer old, so we've been told, he With a team of horses strong, Qf Drove down the road with a heavy se( load, ^ ^ pe While singing his merry . song, pr But his mirth in song was not so long, Gf For his horses gave a leap, ye As he ran amuck in the mud he stuck, th Clear up to his axles deep. ja Bad roads did it! th, And a wheelman gay went out one his day thi A joyful morning spin; With the weather bright, his heart ja was light As he left the country inn, f0] But he went not far when he felt a th< J'ar ga Which started his troubles and he cares. Yc He was laid up ill, while the doctor's i;v bill Came in with the one for repairs, ho Bad roads did it! ~ in an automobile of wood and steel ho A millionaire prim and neat hij Went out for a ride by the river's te? side hil In a style that was hard to beat, I j, But, alas, he found that the broken sh< ground ' And the ruts and the holes so great Had smashed a wheel of his auto- ja mobile? ! What he said we cannot relate, i * Bad roads did it! j "( But we're glad to say there shines a ray Of hope that will right this wrong ! When in every State they will legislate To help the good roads along. So the man with his wheel or automobile Will never again get blue. And the farmer with smiles will ' travel for miles On a road that is fit to use. (The UNIT and) good roads will . ..v . m< do it. ?Harry Ellard, in Cincinnati Commercial Tribune. m i uc Invigorating to the Pale and Sickly as Hie rut Stsiridnrd K?*tierql strengthening tonic, ?.ROVK'S TASTRL.KSS chill TONIC, drives out cl( Nt>d:trin.enriches the blood,and builds upthesys. ,. ? .em. A true tonic, h'or adults and children. 50c to Short Jenks: "I believe I would bv. th a religious man if people wouldn't wt call me 'brother.' " bo 1 is After Many Years sti J. L. Southers, Eau Claire, Wis., ce writes: "Years ago I wrote you in ke regard to great results I obtained bo from Foley Kidney Pills. After all fo these years I have never had a re- ~ii turn of those terrible backaches or to sleepless nights; i am permanently cured." Men and women, young and old, find this reliable remedy relieves he rheumatism, backache, stilF joints and kn ills caused by weak or diseased kid- he neys or bladder. Sold l>y all dealers everywhere. to Another trouble with the gent who si has seen better days is his dispo- ,|() dtion to tell about them. A judicious critic is one who never Cu; forgets that he has faults of his own . nrf If a better cough syrup than Foley's Honey and Tar Compound could be found, we would carry it. We know this reliable and dependable medi- nl cine has given satisfaction for more than forty years; therefore we never offer a substitute for the genuine. kt Recommended for coughs, colds, whooping cough, bronchial and lagrippe coughs. No opiates. Sold by iealers everywhere. a* sa One kind of a fool is the chap who roi idvises his fiance to take boxing lessons. th Let's remember the kind acts of Ju others, but forget our own! di Piles Cured in 6 to 14 Days Your druggist will refund money if PAZO T1 OINTMENT fails to cure any ease of Itching, Rlind. lllecding or Protruding Piles in 6 to 14 days. The first application gives Ease aud Rest. 60c. 30 * THESE Winter Mornings a cup of Rood, health-Riving coffee sets you right for the day's work. Not how cheap, but how good is the question. Buy a pound of Luzianne and you have the equal of 2 pounds of batrel coffe. Besides that, Luzianne is clean, healthy and fragrant when you open the can. Who knows but what the store cat slept in the barrel or bag the night before you got your supply of loose coffee? tANK JAMES 1)IP:S PEACEFULLY IN BEI] io of America's Most Notorious bandits. Long Retired, Succumbs to Apoplexy. Excelsior Springs, Mo., Feb. 18.? ank James of the notorious James ng died on his farm near here late lay. James, who was 74, had beer ill health several months and was richen with apoplexy early today. One of the last members of the robr hand whose unparalled career crime during the war and the unttled period that followed kept the ople of a dozen states in terror ar.k James had been living the life a quiet farmer for more than J( ars. The son of a minister, respected rougnout me community, Frank nics joined Quantrell's guerillas in e War of Secession, together wit I ? brother Jessie, and took part it b sacking of Lawrence, Kan. After the guerillas disbanded the nies brothers became bandits iny notorious crimes of the decade [lowing the war have been laid at i door of the James-Younginer ng, of which the surviving memrs were Frank James and Cole lunginer, the latter of whom is now ing at Lees Summit, Mo. Drctectives surrounded the James me near Kearney, Mo., on Jan rv 25, 1875, anel threw a light.ee mb into the house, thinking tc 1 the James brothers. It explodei iring the arm off their mother anc ling their brother, Archie, l 1882, after Jessie James had beer at and killed in his home in St. Jorah, Mo., by I>ob Ford, also a ban;, for a reward of $50,000. Frank mes surrendered in Jefferson City ). ^ascarets" Relieve Sick, Sour Stomach jve acids, gases and clogged-u; waste from Stomach, Liver, Bowels?Cure Indigestion. Get a 10-cent box now. That awful sourness, belching oi id and foul gases; that pair, in lh< t of the stomach, the heartburn rvousness, nausea, bloating aftei ... 1 i > - i vtiiK, uiA/iiiicaa Cinu r>iv.l\ iluaUtiUiU1 ,'ans a disordered stomach, whic! n not l)C regulated until you re jve the cause. It isn't your stom h's fault. Your stomach is as gooj any. Try Cascarcts; they immediately sanse the stomach, remove the sour digested and fermenting food an< ul gases; take the excess bile fron e liver and carry olf the constipatec iste matter and poison from th< wels. Then your stomach troubh ended. A Cascaret tonight wil raighten you out by morning?a 10 nt box from any drug store wil ep your stomach sweet; liver am wels regular for months. Don' rget the children?their little in les need a good, gentle cleansing o. Nell?"He's a man after my owi art." Belle?"Well, from what iow of him he's a man after th< art of every girl he meets." lilobbs?"Guzzler says he is goini take up interior decorating.' obbs?"Huh! Guzzler has bee: ing that pretty much all his life.' res Old Sores, Other Remedies Won't Cuie -worst cases, nomntterof howlonj; standing cured by the wonderful, old reliable I)i rter's Antiseptic Healing Oil. It relieve in and Heals at the same time. ?5c, 50c, $1.0 You can't he happy unless yoi ake others happy. Notice of Final Discharge. ate of South Carolina?County o Union?Court of Probate. Notice is hereby given, that on th< h day of March, 1915, at 11 o'clock m., in the Court of Probate fo id County, the undersigned wil uke his final settlement as Execu rs of the Estate of N. R. Farr, an< at thereupon he will apply to th< tdge of said Court, for his fina scharge as such Executors. D. B. FREE, Jr. FLORA FARR TEMPLETON lis first day of February 1915. Published in The Union Times fo days. \ ! You Can Pay a Bill! * * * j. ' ]jj Without the trouble of making change. J ?ft 4?? 4* Always have a receipt for each and 4* 4* every transaction. J Carry on large or small transaction 4. 4* without the exchange of any cash. 4* t Feel that your business operations J 4* are on a dignified basis. 4. J All this by simply carrying an ac- J T count at this Bank and then pay all bills !? 4, by checks. 4. * CITIZENS NATIONAL BANK | ^ R. P. Morgan, PresidentC. C. Sanders, Cashier 4^ 4* Capital and Surplus $135,000.00 4? + X / HiF0 H|F* HtF* Hli^ HjF* HlF* rn iMKTtjavniroCTArSnravmar!^ ^-CBJWirr ",v. u furtttntvrxn*tromiin inning ir ~ iii ' Pi !! * 5 zf- !) : 1 I 1 j] ; |||! BUYERS TO SHARE IN PROFITS LOWER PRICES ON FORD CARS {i| 1 Effective from Aur. 1, 1911 to Aur. 1, 1915 and Ruaran- 1| g!! teed aRainst reduction duriiiR that time: TourinR Car $190 * Runabout 140 jljjj > g Town Car 090 !i<li 1 t (F. (). II. Detroit, all cars fully equipped. In the United States of America only.) 1 fi Further, we will he able to obtain the maximum efficiency jjjj'S I.ii hi uur mtiuiy pruuucuon, ana me minimum cose in our &I1C ' purchasing and sales departments if we can reach an out- |jjP | put of 300,OOP cars between the above dates. ?'!'] And should we reach this production, we agree to pay as ij j] the buyer's share from $40 to $00 per car (on or about j jj August 1, 1915) to every retail buyer who purchases a J new Ford car between Aug. 1, 1914 and Aug. 1, 1915. For further particulars regarding these low prices and j J ' profit-sharing plan, see the nearest Ford Branch or Dealer j union garage I "HOME AT LAST." GADBERRY ST. | j[ I I n | | mi, || I I II I____LLM1L- i |j } j a mi ???????? ? mn m ???M?amnaoni ' "Telephone as : You'd Be Telephoned To" Telephone courtesy is just a bit of ordinary politeness and everyday kindness that we nut into ? our conversation when we talk by telephone. r i Its the face to face brand of politeness and kindness i used when we're voice to voice. t It's the same politeness l and kindness that we like to rprplvp -frr?m n?/l . v KV1U tuv LftKCI CUU i of the wire. i 1 Giving a little thought to teleV / phone courtesy and practicing its simple rules will make the telephone an even more effi| SOUTHERN BELL cient aid for you. tkTelephone ? TELEPHONE AND as Youd he Telephoned To TELEGRAPH CO. ahvays. r ' \ How To Give Quinine To Children. Whenever You Need a General Tonic PRRRIMNRUthetradMnorlc nnm? iflwn to an fake. Ciioves improved Quinine, it isn Tasteless Syrup, pleas- The OUl Standard Grove 3 Tasteless * "n**0 ta*e and does not disturb the stomach. cliill Tonic is equally valuable ns A r, Children take it and never know it is Quinine. uX ;* ~ *?. . Also especially adapted to adults who cannot !* , lonic^ bec ause it contains the ? vuMiinc. docs noi nauseate nor wen Known tonic propertiesof QUININE 0 cause nervousness nor rinKintr in the head. Try and IRON. It acts on the Liver, Drives it the next time you need Quinine tor any pur- t Mniar;a Enriches the lliood and , pose. Ask tor 2-ounce oriymal parkaKe. The _. , .. 1 .... c? 1 name FRBRlLlNly ia blown iu bottle. 25 cents. Builds up the Whole System. 50 cents. The candidate who nets the vote of jt* linos of the hnml rnniie ; >*U,. f-!.- ... nif i<ur sex oupnt to receive a hand- dieated how Ionp: a person will live some majority. Insurance people would have adopted And many a man who is capable of palmistry lonjr affo. b Riving Rood advice isn't capable of , earning his salt. Fortunate is the man who really r Yet there may be nothing part in. deserves his own Rood opinion of 1 larly wrong with the man who has a himself. - poor opinion of himself. 1 m ' I AUIPUCCTPR Q PH | Q f?UB,,R/?Y"TISM ' W tiik uiamonii iirani?. x Will cure your RheuitiiiliNm Neuralgia, Headaches, Cramps, *"th ??,!? iurM"n. V/ Colic, Sprains, Bruises, Cuts and ' R Burns, Old Sores, Stints of Insects r A?* & y"'?knot^?,^.As" *? Ktc. Aiilisepiio Anodyne, used in^?r SOLO BY DRUGGISTS EVERYWHERE temally and externally. Price 25c.