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| Humor and \ J _ Philosophy | H *T T>X/J?CJ*JV M. SMITH A * ' ^RT PARAGRAPHS. IpHE only benevolent man in the business world is tlio one who sells you stock for 20 cents that he knows iWtll sell for one 25 inside of sixty ays. Ton are growing old when Halloween is foolishness or worse and a -circus is as bad. A sunny smile and a dimple will go a long way toward selling a man a book, but It won't help him a bit in explaining to his wife how it bap jr ^Jyben a woman marries for support and the man marries for an attendant, what Is the answer? A WiHA mnn laosno ' .vuiuo u; uic uiiainiteK Of others to conceal his own. It isn't v *tly a desire to nproot erll tln?" yels a uian to dip for noiK ^ -nge! Happiness, Uioy say, is a w A& of miud, yet a person in u state jrjJft mind is never happy. The Main Chance. congress, chastened and subdued. wBS To Washington will come HTo doctor laws that may bo crude n And slightly out of plumb. mmro guide the trembling ship of state Rojp Along its diftant way. wtiStV 1th peace and safety for its freight And?well, t< draw its pay. tiff ikOn measures for the public weal ;JK It will be standing pat. UE 'b&s steady as a bar of steel Hc^St Or anything like that, Bjk Wind anything that isn't right IR. ?jwm pet 11 l,lc neol<> Bomething noble it will tight? W, X That and Its mileage check. ^nomy will be the word y That flutters down the line, o u,U{o?? ?-* * %? * ,nm ? ? > >iio|kii win uc nrara T That smacks of a combine. DB v?*J5o fat appropriation lilll H St May see the light of day lu^Jnless Bome minor one tha^%Ul trifle boost their pd|k # It will soon be on the vkaflBAnd very shortly now B nation's restless pulse will throb Has OOKgNM showB It how. tMt'th care and watchfulness and zeal L slowly will advance, <%HLr will It pull a shady deal t FStJnlesa It has a chance. ^ Improved the Effect. igMfrhat a magnificent bulldlngl" exjHHked Uncle Cyrus, who was gazing nHe capltol building In Washington JAs," said the casual stranger who thwBfeoluntecrlng Information. "And it Bnuch letter now than i( UsM to RESrlTieroof was flat" "Was the roof flat once?" "Sure. It was built flat. That dome jon see on top like a big balloon was caused by expansion under the pressure of hot air generated by congress." "You don't say so!" f Missed His Call'He doesn't know enongh to come In out of the "No, be doesn't. /ii "wnat a One IJ . cabbage patch be ??> would make.'* Jt ^ ^ * * *5 Soma Handicap. "He has lost his job as a chauffeur." "What was the matter?" "The train ran over bis car." "Wouldn't the boss give him back Ms Job?" "Maybe, but be couldn't find enough of him in one place to make a bargain with." Responsive. "Money talks, they say." "Yea, and did yon ever notice another thing about it?" "What?" "Duty responds so much more Quickly when money talks than It does when the rest of us preach." Ignoranoo Not Bliaa. "Houseflles carry all sorts of disease imiia in meir ieeu "And they used to think the fly wax m Innocent." "They didn't know it was loaded." The PeMHniit's Outlook. "See that idiot grin." *Is he an idiot?" "He's grinning, ain't he?" "Well, what of it?" "He uiay die tomorrow." Question of Taste. "Steadiest fellow you ever saw." "He seems to like work." "He eats it alive." "Well, It is my notion of nothing to make a meal on." Experiment. "That fellow Is so lucky that he simpty can't lose." "He might try betting on a sure thing." Only Way Out. Retytng on hie aklil In lying. He poured a tale In wlfle'a ear. But when he found he had been egging He said. "Select your bat, my dear." ? . *. i ' WLP** | J^Biscuits, F j l| More Tasty, J| Absolutely APPETITE GONE tv ! Indigestion is the Cause of it?Pal* i metto Drug Co. Has the Cure. People go on suffering from little stomach troubles for years and imagine they j have a serious disease. | They over eat or over drink and force ' on the stomach a lot of extra work, never I thinking that the stomach requires adi ditional help to do extra work, i If these people would take MI-O-NA ' stoinaA tablets with or tAtr meals stom| ach misery would go ! minutes. Ml-O-NA is guar;in?>?4 by Palmetto Drug Co. to cure Indigestion or any stomach disease or money back. MI-O-NA for belching of gas. Ml-O-NA for distress after eating. MI-O-NA for foul breath. ! MI-O-NA for biliousness. MI-O-NA to wake up the liver. MI-O-NA for heartburn. I MI-O-NA for sick headache. MI-O-NA for nervous dysjiepsia. MI-O-NA for vomiting of pregnancy. Fifty cents a large box at Palmetto Drug Co. and druggists everywhere. ' 'I must say,'' C01k)plainc<l the woman tourist, "that I don't un derstand why people come to this I hotel ? no scenery, no amusement, no good cuisine, no?" Pardoning, madame," interrupt ! ed the host, "but we have ae gr-ran' label to stick on ze luggage." 1 For that Dull Feeling after Eating 1 have used Chamls-rlain's Mtoinach' and Liver Tablets for some time, and can testify that they have done me more good than any tablets I have ever used. My trouble was a heavy dull feeling after eating. ? David Freeman, Kempt, Nova Scotia. Tliese tablets strengthen the stomach and improve the digestion. They also regulate tlie liver and bowels. Tliey are far superior to pills but cost no more. Get a free sample at all dealers and see what a splendid imxlicine it is. "What's this?" demanded Mr. Jcllus. "Do I find you treasuring another man's picture?" "Be calm, dear," answered his wife. "That's a photo of yourself, taken when you had hair."? -Louisville Courier* Journal. When your-feet am wet and cold, and your body chilled through and through from exposure, take u big dose of Chamberlain's Cough Remedy, hut is* your feet in hot water before going to bed, and you are almost certain to ward a severe cold. For sale by all dealers. * * 1 I "What is ltiggins' grievance against the railroad company?" "He has two grievances; one is that some of the trains don't stop stop at his station, and tho other that after he gets on board tho train losses time hy stopping at other stations."?Washington Star. Notice to Taxpayers. Tim time for taking tux returns for the year 1911 liegins tho 1st of January and ends the 20th of February, 1911, only personal property polls and days are to be returned in the year 1911. All male citizens lietween the age of 21 and fK) years old arc liable to a poll of $1.00 except those exempt by law. Will 1m! in office ?t. Union from Oil. lot I of January to the 23rd for the purpose of j taking such return* after which will visit j the following place* to wit: Buffalof Monday, Jan. 23. West Springs, Tuesday, Jan. 24. ' Uiblw, Wednesday, Jan. 2ft. Cross Kevs, Thursday, Jon. 20. Ketlalia, Mill tor's, Friday, Jan. 27. Black Kock, Saturday, Jan. 28. Carlisle, Monday, Jan. 30. Santuc, Tuesday, Jan. 31. Adanmburg, Wednesday, Feb. 1. lxiekhart Mills, Thursday, Feb. 2. Kelton, Friday, Feb 3. JonoflVtlle, Saturday, Feb. 4. Monarch Mills, Monday, Fob. 0. The balance of tiuic in othce until 20th day of February after which the law puts rtO i?cr cent, penalty for not returning. J. B. 1 suicaster, Auditor Union County. gtai POWDER ; lot Breads Economical, n r Healthful 111 j 'I want to ask you for a bit of j ^ advice," said the insinuating man.' a What is it? I want you to put yourself in my i place and me in yours, and tell mej how you would go about it if you j wanted to borrow $10 from me.? Puck. * Here is a Remedy that Will Cure Eczema-"We Prove It." J Why waste time an-1 money cxj?erimenting with greasy salves and lotions, ! trying to drive the eczema germ from un- j dorneath tlie skin when the G lymph's i Pharmacy guarantees ZEMO, a clean liquid preparation tor external use to rid the skin of the germ life that causes tlie trouble? One application will relieve the itching and ottcu Limes one bottle is sufticient to cure a minor caw of eczema. ! ZKMO is sold by druggists everywhere 1 and in Union by Glymph's Pharmacy I and they will tell you of the marvelous cures made by this clean, simple treatment. ZKMO and Zemo soap are recognized as the cleanest and most popular treatment for eczema, pimples, dandruff.,and all other forms of skin or scidjjU. affections whetlier on infant or groWn i person. Will yon try ZEMO and ZEMOj soap 011 our recommendation and guarantee of satisfaction or you money back?' Olymph'8 Pharmacy. l "Well, parson, is your congregation liberal in their benevolenceH?" I "Liberal? Well, I should say dey ' is not that. Why, when I as ted i dem to sing 'Ole Hundred' dey done j sung 'The Ninety and Nine'."? Harper's Bazaar. Worse than an alarm of fire at night is the metallic cough of croup, bringing dread to the household. Careful mothers keep Foley's Honey and Tar in the house and give it at the first sign of danger. It j ' enntAiti-J tin nninlnu I'l ?? ...I.'-, tii. 1 ... ?w vj'imvvc. v.ujiiipii ? i fianu! aoy. A negro woman living at Mct'oll * and claiming to bo 111 years old died Christmas Day. She retained her sight, memory and hearing unto: the last. j \> Take Care! I Remember tluit when your kidneys aicj affected. Yourlifeis in danger. M.Mayer, i Rochester, N. Y., says: "My trouble j started with a sharp shooting pain over my back which grew worse daily. I felt j # sluggish and tired, my kidney action was irregular and infrequent. 1 started using i Foley Kidney l'ills. Kaeh dose seemed to put new life and strength into me, and j now 1 am completely cured and feel better and stronger than for years." (ilymph's Pharmacy. Two children of William Simmons, j a farmer of Brownwood, Texas, I feasted on mistletoe berries and died j within several hours. Mrs. Russell Huge gave a Chri-Lmas present of 85.00 to every laborer in the New York city park department. Boy? Another ox tail, please. Butcher?Did your mother like the last one she had? Boy ? Yes; and she says she I \17 *i ntu tltiu nno !?.? "* UII uir rsiiJir UA, phase! j "Wrong ideas of life, has he?" "Yes, lie thinks a five-dollar | bill was made to he changed." ? : Harper's Bazaar. The Perpetual Building and! Loan Association I Will help you to live in your own home and own it. Fourth Series opens Jan. 1st, 1911. We lend money at 8 per cent. ! L. S. TOWNSEND, : President. R. P. Morgan. i I Sec'y and Treae. , I I j ? Some men take to politics for glory, rat they feel that they have to get a Iviiig out of It first. The devil tukt^s a vacation when he ias started a church row. There is no use trying to give a gold nine to n nmn with a cold In his head. A fool millionaire and his actress vifc are soon parted, leaving a fool nd an actress millionaire. Ancients and Moderns. Wlrere are the mighty inen of old Who used to tear around And gather glory tinted pold And other nations pound? Alas, they all are laid away Safe in the halls of fame! But we have other nn-a today \ Who pet there just the same. Where are tire men who used to plow The miphty. rapinp main And scuttle every passing scow On which their puns might train? They lie some forty fathoms deep. Long since are hushed their knells. Our pirates are the ones who keep The summer place hotels. "Where are the men who took an ax And proclamation made The startling message that the tax ouuuiu .-in to mom uc paid? Thetr method* softer are, though quite As forceful Is their "must." They get us. and they get us right, lJy managing a trust. Yes. things are t-lvanged around a bit. The sword is sheathed today. And men depend upon their wit To take the stuff away. Arid, looking carelessly around. Who would a doubt express That they a hotter way had found To gather in suooesp? Catching Both Ways. "Who do you suppose invented the lobble skirtV" "Must have been a one logged man." "No; 1 think it was some dressmaker vlio thought she could save money on he cloth, with the chance for increasr?g the price when the styles changed ] gain and required more poods." Charlie's Bargain. "Papa." "Yes." "Charlie has bought mining stock or 10 cents a share. Don't you think hat is a bargain?" "Well, I don't know. He is certainly asil.v sold, whether the stock is or lOt." The Difference. "FuV" "Yes, my little son." ??T lllrn ..." " i?nv iv ? vi ?u,y u?ItiN "Certainly! We all <i<x" "Sister doesn't." "Doesn't she?" "No; she keeps hers." Always Good. "I wonder if ilia: Is ? "log." "Yes." "How can you tell?" "Because he is mine " Explanation. "My wife believe* exerythuijr 1 tell ' er." "Impossible!" "Fact." "She must Is- credulous." "No. I am simply mighty careful i'hat 1 tell her." Appropriate. ' "Why be >U?-h it fool?' "Why?" 1 "Yes." "Well, it seems so well suited to j muse the ininpany." The Vehicle. "Did she go off in it towering rageV" j "Huh 7" "1 say, did she go off in a tanffV" "No: she used i>v airship." Not Yet. When we liavt wings we'll nee and fly When pleasant summer breez?H cease Off to aoroe sunny southern shy. And then we'll be as smart as geese. Let me send you iMs big book I > * E&lR?UNrr IT will show you how to increase your income, lo make success come your way, lo make the most ol your opportunities, to forge ahead in business just as more than 100,000 young people have done alter reading this big illustrated book. Get a postal and r\?.r write for it 1 O'L/dy ARTHUR C. MINTtA, Gen. Mgr., | Dratighoo's Pradical Business College Atlanta, Macon, Augusta, Ga.; Montgomery, Ala.; Kaoxville. Tena.; Greenville, S. C. I *3 }B lu ly<* 1 1 I I I ? << PETER COOPER, u I ^ to found Cooper Union ir S25 a year for the first t\ I was an apprentice to a c< 1 fj&i first two years and put it M Make OUIJ : k$ We P3^ liberal inte a The Gitizeti VJss Union, i si? ?;t* yI? Tt? Tf? *i a tw xlaxte*1?>te* v ,'w*,w^?wiy%*i4r^?rrwwib^w^w^ t 1 ^ I ~ I I Horses ar j arrived. I PEOPLES 1A1 1/^ A jl*\j jl ~/z rvli c of Pe 1^ miles to Kelly's Station. 1 Lockhart Railroad, known a Acres in cultivation, 30 Acres good fence; 0 Room Dwelling out buildings. This plac?* is place is level land. Price $3 1-4 Cash, balance in . K. F. Iti-IK .IONKS \ - 1 * i ? ?. my niinu is rnaun up. night I shall ask h?>r tj bi> my w B-b-hy Jure. I h-h-h^H'sh ?'out Judge. Foley's Kidney Pills What They Will Do for Yoi They will cure your backac! strengthen your kidneys, c rect urinary irregularities, bu up the worn out tissues, a eliminate the excess uric a< that causes rheumatism. P vent Bright's Disease and D bates, and restore health a strength. Refuse substitut | Sold by all Druggists. I FAGE SEVK* mmssl ml wl fMts. W| I ,/ /ri&hut & | l . tff i fc* V JtirM pi Aie and |?'"-|| ^T- f ? ?ho when yet alive, prave $630,000 1 New York City, earned only $jjl ,vo years he was in that city. He ?'<1 >achmaker . He SAVED $20 the >! ; in the bank. , Hank YOlJJt Hank. ^ rest consistent with safety. s National Bank | PSSJ South Carolina fpj tl\ , yiv-- ->lv .>!%:/EoSBRA n 55 ^ 4^ id Mules" just J See them. 1 SUPPLY CO. I s Garden Spot U i rro tl XVIVI^V (M) yards to Bald Rock Station on s 441). J. Farr Home Place." 100 in Fine Pine Timber, balance under , 2 Good Tenant Houses, all necessary a "Beauty." Practically all this 2.50 Per Acre. * equal annual installments. [ELL Y. , KSTATK MAIS VIIjI^K S. C. To., You Must Read This. lit?. .1. YV. iireer, Greenwood, I.a., Miffirn) J?i with a severe cjiw of luml>a<rn. "Tfr< pains wen; so intense I was forced t-* ; hypodermic injections for relief. The* i Attacks started with a Taiin in ihe sm.tfl of my hack \fhieh gradually Vnvame fairly paralyzing. My attention was attracted to Foley's Kidney Ketnedy and I a?? Vhul to say after using tbi- womhdnl % , medicine I am no longer >s?ib?n 1 * any way by my old enemy huiil?oi lymph's I'harmacy. ( 1 Delinquent Tax Sale. Ity virtue of a tax ex?vution to mr directed, 1 will sell U'locctlfet'-onn IPoae U 'door in I'nion County, S. C., Iurir?>c the i legal hours of sale on Salesday, the limi ?C, . day oi January, 1011, flu* followiny or- ' projHTty to wit: ! Out' tract of land in Join-sville tovr?ship, containing ahout forty ncrcs, Wtnd longing to the list. .Mary Jam' McDowaB .. ' Tliix t ract of land to Is* re-sold at the Cld ri - k of Kovtir Fowler, tin- former pnire chaser, and at tin* risk of S. Means Boaty. tin1 snitHoquent purchaser. ,a~ The purchaser must comply oil th?j tnd hl.s k or the property will Is- re-?r?ld it { his risk also. J. (!. Long, : HIieriflTnioD Ooooty. i SlarifTa Olfice. ' December 12th, lfllO. JKKtt