University of South Carolina Libraries
HIS "DEAREST." It Took Moro Than Coaxing to Maka 6 Johnny Use tho Term. Shortly after Mrs. Frances Hodgson Burnett's book, "Little Ix>rd | Fauntlerov," appeared she went 1 with her two little boys to a seaside hotel. The story hud made a great sensation, and there had cnsutd a i regular epidemic of Fnnntleroy curls, Faun tier oy suits and Fa untie- , roy youngsters. In tho room next to that occupied bv Mis. Burnet! ! was a dashing, rather overdressed i i?: ? i widow, w;in a itu nuiivu, I'uuci headed fon of about seven, who was j the terronof the hotel. Antic ipating the arrival' of the famous author, the mother had purchased a complete and elaborate .Fanntleroy outfit, with which she proceeded to j deck out her unappreeiafive and rebellious oflgpriim^ . Xot ooftenT "nurh this otitward 6eeming, tie woman desired to com- \ plete the caricature by compelling I her precious child to address her.a9 [ "dearest," after the manner of .the . hero of the book, instead of "mom- I mer" or, more frequently, merely : "say," as had been his previous cus- i torn. Mrs. Burnett arrived no sooner than she had been expected, but apparently before little Johnny had entirely completed his course of instruction in filial courtesy, as was evident by the sounds which penetrated the thin lath and plaster partition between the rooms. This is what Mrs. Burnett heard: "Johnny!" Silence. "Johnny, do yon hear me?" Silence. , "Call me 'Dearest!'" ^ Silence. "Will you call me 'Dearest,' or | shall I make you?" "Yer can't make me." "Yes, I can. Call me 'Dearest!'" ! "Go ter blazes!" "That's no way to speak to me." J "It's a good sight better'n you want me to say." "It isn't. Call me 'Dearest!'" Silence. "Do you want me to use the trunk strap? Call me 'Dearest!'" Silence. "Call me 'Dearest!'" Silence. Biff! Biff! Biff! Biff! "Call me 'Dearest!'" "I won't!" Biff! "I won't!" Biff! Biff! "Ouch! You hurt!" <<rTVion /?all Trip r^PflrPQt?, " "Oh, all right, then, dearest." "Now, see here. If you don't remember to call me 'dearest' at dinner tonight I'll wallop you within an inch of your life, you ungrateful thing!"?Success. Becomes a Little Rebel. ' That there is a startling difference between the temper of the rising generation and that of the youth, whose young ideas shot up according to the teachings of Mrs. Hannah More and Sanford and Merton has recently been proved by a lrttle seven-year-old girl, who was laboriously spelling her way a Wcnn lUiuu^u a A V UUIU^ "Always speak the truth," she said, "and obey your parents. "Be gentle and quiet. Nev-er slam the door and 6hout and scream a-bout the house. "At the ta-ble eat slowly, not in a greed-y man-ner, like a pig." Suddenly the little girl shut the book with a portentous bang and announced with firmness and decision: "I'm not going to let any old Third Reader boss me like that!"? Rochester Herald. Dodging tho Question. It is dangerous to possess a reputation for superior knowledge or wisdom. It is hard to live up to it. Next in importance to knowing everything perhaps is to be ranked the ability to conceal one's ignorance. "Brown," said Jones, "Smith and :I here have had a dispute and have agreed to leave the decision to you. Which is right, 'Tomorrow is Friday' or 'Tomorrow will be Friday?"' "Today is Saturday, isn't it?" said Brown after some reflection. "Ye?." " * "Then neither one of you is 1 * " right." 1 And he waved them aside. , A Swindle. Old Farmer?No, I don't want any more of your labor saving machines. I've tried enough on 'em. Look in there. There's a typewritin' machine the missus spent all her egg and butter money on to ? _ )i Duy ior me cause i am t bo over 'handy with the pen. Just look at 5| the swindle. Friend?What's the matter with j. n It? . Old Farmer?Matter! Why, yon can't even write yer name with the hloomin' thing unless ye know how to play the pianner.?London Telegraph. I v ILL FATED AUTHORS. j Writer? Whose Works Proved Their j Own Death Warrants. In times gone by monarchs gave short shrift to the authors of books | that offended them. The Bourbons, j for instance, did not scruple about paying assassins to "Temyre" those writers, such as the gifted Paul Courier, whose works diseased them. Xor did the great Napoleon he :.;:tc at all in shooting or hanging the unhappy author who crv ed lis path. (hi one occa ion he executed the publisher?one named I'aJm of X?:r.' -Vr ?of a book atta king hir.i bjca :so that in?I: v!J !ir! r iuc 1 to i ua. :<? of its auth.v. A tcrrih'o fate befell a ninetoenvear->!)l a aii.oress <?t a poem wbi h was ro .! bv no other person tlniu its writer, a lady of the Em pre-*: Elizabeth of Kussia's court, and the ' e.;. - : Tliis was Vera Task .:. v h-> wrote about 200 lines of vor-e satirizing tiie empress' vices. * In youthful pride and imprudence the girl showed the manuscript to : one of the court ladies. To curry favor frith the empress this woman ( showed it to Elizabeth, who thereupon ordered Vera Paskin to be , cruelly knouted and banished for life to Siberia. A poem has even brought about the death of its writer, and in England too. James I. was the offend- , ed monarch, John Williams the poet. Williams, for safety, inclosed j the verses in an iron box and sent ; them to the king, who, always fear- i ing assassination, jumped to the j conclusion that the box was none < other than an infernal machine. When the news of the real nature of the box's contents leaked out, however, James grew so angry at the jeers that were leveled at hir.i from all parts of the kingdom that , he had the unfortunate John Wil- i liams hanged, drawn and quartered, j ?Pearson's Weekly. < A New York Street. "If you ever hear a person brag- , ging about his knowledge of Xew , York streets just ask him to tell < you where Old Broadway is and see , what he says/' said a man about , town. "I've tried it for the last ' year, and ninety-nine out of a liun- j dred will look at you in amazement , and think you've lost your senses. ] When -I tell them there really is , such a street they begin to guess, j and even- guess is in the downtown district and generally in the vicin- j itv of West Broadway. , "When I tell them that Old ] Broadway begins at Manhattan ( street and runs north for five . blocks, stopping at One Hundred i and Thirty-third street, they are , surprised. I've tried this with per- ( sons living within a few blocks of this street, and the name i9 just as ( much a surprise to them as it is to 1 others. Every one seems to think Old Broadway is simply a New Yorker's affectionate way of speaking of his famous street and can't t believe that the name really ap- ; pear* on any street corner/'?New ] York Sun. Flowers and Scents. "Identically the same scent," says j a writer, "may occur in plants be- , longing to widely different families. , For instance, the distinctive smell , of violets occurs also in the snow- , flake, the 6tocks, a spurge laurel and the blue water lily of the Nile. On the other hand, closely allied plants may emit scents differing , greatly in nature and appealing to ( the tastes of different insects. Among the spurge laurels one species smells of vanilla, another of . violets, another of lilac and yet another of cloves. Flowers which ex- . hale the delicious smell of honey in the comb appeal particularly to bees, butterflies and the moths which fly by day, as the humming , bird, the hawk moth and the gayly colored burnet. The coarser and more powerful scents of the hawthorn and elder are the special al- , lurement of the beautiful green rose beetle and other flower loving bee- , ties, while butterflies leave this class of scents severely alone." The Message That Came. Professor Peepup was busily en- | gaged with his massive new microtelescope, making observations of the movements of various planets, when the shrill tones of a feminine voice interrupted him. "Bless me!" muttered the professor hastily. "I do wish I could be left to study in peace. I shall never be able to fathom this matter of a message from Mars unless"? "Oh, but it's come, love!" said his young wife, who was just run- ] ning to meet him. 1 "Come! What has come?" que- i ried the professor in a dazed tone. ' "A message from mar's!" ejacu- < laied the delighted "wifie. "And 1 mar is coming to stay with us for 1 ever and ever. Arm't you glad, i dear?"?Strand Magazine. in cough syrups containing opiates constipate the oowels. Bee's Laxative Honey ant Tar stoves the bowels and contains no oputM. Sold by W L Wallace. THE WORLD AMD THE LOVER. An Old Proverb Thnt I3 Exceedingly Open to Question. The whole world is proverbially Eaid to love a lover. Like most proverbial statements, this one is exceedingly open to question. In fact, all the evidence seems flatly the other way. On what data, one wonders, did the old proverb maker base his dictum? Surely not on the great love stories. The world, with its appetite for vicarious excitement, likes well enough to watch the tragic spectacle of a great passion. Incapable of great feelings itself, it thrills to the rlmma nf thorn in others. It even applauds their lawlessness and canonizes their audacity. All the same, ' it will not raise a finger to help while the story is in the making, but, on the contrary, docs everything in its power to persecute and ; impede. The moment Romeo and Juliet are safely dead in each oth- , or's arms the world is voluble with its sympathy, but not till it is quite j sure that its sympathy can be of no possible service to the lovers. While { sympathy would be of some use, the world, which is the embodied cow- j ardiee and cant of humanity, stands . firm with Montague and Capulet, seniors. If the lovers win, well and ' ;jood. No one has ever denied that the world loves success, though it lias .always consistently done its worst to prevent it. Yes, the world loves successful love, as it lawns on anything that has conquered it. It loves also pity th^ft costs it nothing. But that it loves a lover, for love of love, is simply not true. If it were true, there would probably have been no love stories, for the drama of love has mostly come of the conflict between the lovers and the crnrld Thev had to count the world well lost to win each other. It waj | so in the days of Tristan and IsecJi:, and so it still is in the days of Rudolph of Bavaria.?Richard L? Gil* lienne in Smart Set. Lif* of Watch. The lifetime of a good watch, says Amateur Work, is fifty years. In its daily duties the balance vibrates 18,000 times every hour, 432,000 times a day, or 157,680,000 times a year. The hairspring makes a similar number of vibrations and an equal number of ticks from the escapement. If it is really a good watch, multiply 157,680,000 by 50, which gives 7,884,000,000 pulsations in fifty years. The chances are that the watch may even then be in serviceable condition. This is & marvelous record, considering the small quantity of food that has beert' consumed by its constant action. We say food because whatever labors must be fed, and the watch "lives" on about sixteen inches of mainspring every twenty-four hours,, which furnishes the power. Hi* Hereditary Foe. An. Irishman, a Scotchman and an Englishman on the unemployed list were once tramping the country in search of work. On coming to a field of turnips they took several in order to appease the pan^s of hunger. For this they were dragged before the judge, who took a lenient view of the case. Before sentencing each to twelve lashes on the hare hack he agreed to confer a anall favor according as each requested. The Englishman asked the faror of his overcoat, the Scotchman his own as well as that of the Englishman, while the Irishman, casting a sly glance at the judge, said, "ifay it please your honor, I would just like the Englishman across my back." A cold taken at this time of the pear is generally hard to get rid of 3ut it will not be able to with?tand Bee's Laxative Honey and rar. That will cure all colds, ?ughs, croup, whooping cough, etc., Dy driving them out through the towels. If you have a cold, try it ind if not cured get your money jack. No opiates.?Sold by W L Wallace. People do:i'i pay $9l',0UU for a seat in the New Y>?rk CottOn ex change for the fun *<i it. This fad 8hould be ieUouU eliollgil tor KliV legislator to vote all sudi e\ii doers OUt. "Xuff Sell " An Important Question. He was an impecunious, seedy, out at the elbows person, and the doctor, when he prescribed for him, knew better than to expect a fee. "For the inflamed eyes," said the benevolent physician, "dissolve as much boracic acid as you can put on a ton cent pi eve in half a glass of water." "Thank you, doctor," murmured the naiient. tumin' awav. A mo i mcnt later, however, the office door was opened, and the patient sidled in. "Say, doc." said he. with an ingratiating smile, "where do I get the ten cent piece?" Too Faith of a Celestial. A Chicago gambler, whose first r.air.c was George, used to visit a Chinaman's establishment and smoke opium and gamble almost daily. One day he rushed into the place and said excitedly: "Flip, loan me $10. Thanks. I'll come in and pay you tomorrow noon if I'm alive." And out he went with the money. About 3 o'clock the next afternoon a friend of the gambler I dropped in on the Chinaman and said, "Ilip, where is George today?" and the confiding Celestial wiped his eyes with the corner of his blouse and replied, "George, him dead."?Earth. Where Charity Begins. The public spirited lady met the little boy on the street. Something about his appearance halted her. She stared at him in her nearsighted way. The Ladv ? Little boy, haven't you any home? The Little Boy?Oh, yes'm; I've got a home. The Lady?And loving parents? The little Boy?Yes'm. The Lady?I'm afraid you do not know what love really is. Do your parents look after your moral welfare? The Little Boy?Yes'm. The Lady ? Are they bringing you up to be a good and helpful citizen? The Little Boy?Yes'm. The Lady ? Will you ask your mother to come and hear me talk on "When Does a Mother's Duty to Her Child Begin ?" next Saturday afternoon at 3 o'clock at Lyceum hall? The Little Boy (explosively) ? What's the mattet with you, ma ? Don't you know me ? I'm your little boy!?Cleveland Plain Dealer, j "Wood's Earliest Valentine Snap Beans are unquestionably the earliest, most productive and the best strain of Red 8peckled Valentine Snap Beans on the market?the true round-pod kind. See the letters from our customers?large growers?In our Descriptive Catalog for 1907, testifying to the superiority of our stocks. Larsre buyers of Snap Beans, Early Peas,* or other Vegetable Seeds are requested to write for our 8pecial Truckers' prices. Wood's New Seed Book for 1907 gives the fullest information about seeds for market-gardeners and trackeTS?best kinds to grow, and the best way to grow them. Mailed free on request. >T.W. WOODS SONS. Seedsmen, . Richmond, Va/ Not Too Good For the General. It is related of General Sterling Price that he once stopped at a humble cahin in Missouri and asked for sunner. The jrood wife of the II V. hou& was thrown into a flutter of excitement over entertaining her distinguished guest and profuse with apologies for the not very tempting menu, consisting of corn dodgers, boiled eollards and wheat coffee sweetened with sorghum. The hungry officer ate heartily of the coarse food, but not relishing the over sweet coffee passed his cup, saying: "Not quite so much molasse9, please." "The idee!" gasped the loyal hostess. "Catch me skimpin' your pweetenin'!" as she tilted the molasses jug upward while amber ropes of 'sweetenin' overflowed cup and saucer and threatened disaster to the spotless homespun cloth. "Why (enthusiastically), that coffee would be none too good for General Price if 'twas all molasses!"? Memphis News-Scimiter. | III FERTILIZERS | | FORALLCROPSANDFOR'BiGCROPS! f" S? Etiwan Fertilizers are carefully made 3 i ? "2 sx trom the Best Materials, are of High 2 ? Grade and Fine Quality, and Produce 3 jE Splendid Results. 3 v^v\vivvv\ reS ^ PTIWAM rnTTOM rnMPOl IMn *2 JUtf I I T T i 1 V V M V i 1 V \/ till \/ v * ^ ^ IV' ? PLOW BRAND RAW BONE SUPER- || ? PHOSPH ATE, DIAHOND SOLUBLE BONE, 3 F- TOBACCO FERTILIZERS, % ?? and other 3 H HIGH GRADE FERTILIZERS. 5? ? 3 | ^ VAV\V\V\V\ ^ | ETIWAN FERTILIZER CO., ? ? Charleston, S. C. H E 3 | Cash is Economy. At this season the mail behind the pocket book is the man who holds the reins. . If it's a Horse or Male yon want | we can fill your need. In BUGGIES, WAGONS, HARNESS, LAP ROBES, HORSE BLANKETS, all the best on the market, < we are headquarters. VISIT OUR STABLE5, TELL . US YOUR WANTS AND WE LL DO THE REST. F. C. THOMAS 9 'i ZEZing-stxee, S, O, Real Estate for Sale- OUR CLUBBING RATES. 1428?acres Florence Countv, 360 ? , .... cleared, balance splendidly timbered. .Ve offer cbea? clubbing rates- j plenty of buildia?s, Church & P. 0. wiiu a number of popular newscoavenieat, good neighborhood. papers and periodicals. Read careS02?acres Williamsburg County, 200 fully the following list and select acres cleared, balance in nne black and the one or more that you fancy and yellow pine timber; in we shall be pleased to send in yoar cultivation, clear of stumpe, nuia miles , T, ' J from Cades Depot. Convenient to order. These rates are of coarse ail Church & P. 0. cash in advance, which meads that bothJCuE Record and the paper 139-acres Williamsburg co^ty 60 ord^d mn8t ^ id f nofc acres cleared, 2 miles from Cades Depot, jkc^qq-ia-i-i l f __.?r ,-r, timber sold, plantation rights reserved ? ' 7? 9? 10L V? but TWELVE this is (rood land aad eaa be be bought MONTHS ahead. Below is the list of ripkt. oar best clubbing offers. ?00??okm WiHiamsbuig 85 The Record and News & Courier clewed, balance fine olnetwaber, 2 four room houses, 7 miles rrom Kings tree. (Semi-weekly,) $1.60. 200?acres Williamsburg, sixty acres The Record and Home & Farm cleared, one 8 room house, some build- (twice a mouth.) $1.35. mgs, this is a fine place, 7 miss from v ,J * V Kwgstree. The Record and New York World 125-acres. Williamsburg oounty, 40 (3 times a week,) $1.75. sta&W *253.0$ The Record and Atlanta Con.tiTlbis is good land, especially adapted to, tution (3 times a week) $1.85. trucking, and can be bought-worth the. The Record RQd AtJanta Constimoney. I ... , . OA ? I tution (weekly $1.50. 60-acres Clarendon county, 20 acaes | v , n ? n cleared, timber sold 10 acres excepted, The record and Bryan s Comnear Alderman's R. R. has R F D Mail- > monerj $1.75. route, can be bought right. The Record and Cosmopolitan 1 3-4 acres, in l.ake City, with one 5 .. 7room house, barn, stables, poultry yard, Magazine $1.7&. artesian well. Thi Record and Youth's ComUkeTity3"1, '0t in Resid tial part ?f panion (New Snbacribera) $2.50. All of the above property will be sold ^HE record Semi-Weekly State, at bargain prices, write me for prices $2.50. and all particulars. The record and Lippiucott's Lake City. S. C. ^ F" LT&Ste, Magazine 1 year each $2.75. 10?18-tf. The Record and National __ Magazine, 1 year each, $1.60. . JN". B. We do not club with any fmWerUl d,ily papCT8. The firat iaa?e y.i? X receive of the paper or periodical is KINGSTKEE: . - lata nd d Sundays, 11 a m. evidence that the money for same 2nd and 4th Sundays, 7 ao pjm. has been forwarded by us. We are Wednesdays, 7:30 p m. UNION : not responsible after that. 2nd and 4th Sundays, 11 a m. ce^ra]'m ? m the county record 1st and 3rd Sundays, 3 pm. y E? E* ERVIS* Pastor, Kingatre?, S. C. .jii