The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, January 31, 1907, Image 4
HIS "DEAREST."
It Took Moro Than Coaxing to Maka
6 Johnny Use tho Term.
Shortly after Mrs. Frances Hodgson
Burnett's book, "Little Ix>rd |
Fauntlerov," appeared she went 1
with her two little boys to a seaside
hotel. The story hud made a great
sensation, and there had cnsutd a i
regular epidemic of Fnnntleroy
curls, Faun tier oy suits and Fa untie- ,
roy youngsters. In tho room next
to that occupied bv Mis. Burnet! !
was a dashing, rather overdressed
i i?: ? i
widow, w;in a itu nuiivu, I'uuci
headed fon of about seven, who was j
the terronof the hotel. Antic ipating
the arrival' of the famous author,
the mother had purchased a
complete and elaborate .Fanntleroy
outfit, with which she proceeded to j
deck out her unappreeiafive and rebellious
oflgpriim^ .
Xot ooftenT "nurh this otitward
6eeming, tie woman desired to com- \
plete the caricature by compelling I
her precious child to address her.a9 [
"dearest," after the manner of .the .
hero of the book, instead of "mom- I
mer" or, more frequently, merely :
"say," as had been his previous cus- i
torn.
Mrs. Burnett arrived no sooner
than she had been expected, but apparently
before little Johnny had
entirely completed his course of instruction
in filial courtesy, as was
evident by the sounds which penetrated
the thin lath and plaster partition
between the rooms. This is
what Mrs. Burnett heard:
"Johnny!"
Silence.
"Johnny, do yon hear me?"
Silence.
, "Call me 'Dearest!'"
^ Silence.
"Will you call me 'Dearest,' or |
shall I make you?"
"Yer can't make me."
"Yes, I can. Call me 'Dearest!'" !
"Go ter blazes!"
"That's no way to speak to me." J
"It's a good sight better'n you
want me to say."
"It isn't. Call me 'Dearest!'"
Silence.
"Do you want me to use the trunk
strap? Call me 'Dearest!'"
Silence.
"Call me 'Dearest!'"
Silence.
Biff! Biff! Biff! Biff! "Call
me 'Dearest!'"
"I won't!" Biff! "I won't!" Biff!
Biff! "Ouch! You hurt!"
<<rTVion /?all Trip r^PflrPQt?, "
"Oh, all right, then, dearest."
"Now, see here. If you don't remember
to call me 'dearest' at dinner
tonight I'll wallop you within
an inch of your life, you ungrateful
thing!"?Success.
Becomes a Little Rebel.
' That there is a startling difference
between the temper of the rising
generation and that of the
youth, whose young ideas shot up
according to the teachings of Mrs.
Hannah More and Sanford and
Merton has recently been proved
by a lrttle seven-year-old girl, who
was laboriously spelling her way
a Wcnn
lUiuu^u a A V UUIU^
"Always speak the truth," she
said, "and obey your parents.
"Be gentle and quiet. Nev-er
slam the door and 6hout and scream
a-bout the house.
"At the ta-ble eat slowly, not in
a greed-y man-ner, like a pig."
Suddenly the little girl shut the
book with a portentous bang and
announced with firmness and decision:
"I'm not going to let any old
Third Reader boss me like that!"?
Rochester Herald.
Dodging tho Question.
It is dangerous to possess a reputation
for superior knowledge or
wisdom. It is hard to live up to it.
Next in importance to knowing everything
perhaps is to be ranked
the ability to conceal one's ignorance.
"Brown," said Jones, "Smith and
:I here have had a dispute and have
agreed to leave the decision to you.
Which is right, 'Tomorrow is Friday'
or 'Tomorrow will be Friday?"'
"Today is Saturday, isn't it?"
said Brown after some reflection.
"Ye?."
" * "Then neither one of you is 1
* " right."
1 And he waved them aside.
, A Swindle.
Old Farmer?No, I don't want
any more of your labor saving machines.
I've tried enough on 'em.
Look in there. There's a typewritin'
machine the missus spent all
her egg and butter money on to
? _ )i
Duy ior me cause i am t bo over
'handy with the pen. Just look at
5| the swindle.
Friend?What's the matter with
j. n
It? .
Old Farmer?Matter! Why, yon
can't even write yer name with the
hloomin' thing unless ye know how
to play the pianner.?London Telegraph.
I
v
ILL FATED AUTHORS. j
Writer? Whose Works Proved Their j
Own Death Warrants.
In times gone by monarchs gave
short shrift to the authors of books |
that offended them. The Bourbons, j
for instance, did not scruple about
paying assassins to "Temyre" those
writers, such as the gifted Paul
Courier, whose works diseased
them. Xor did the great Napoleon
he :.;:tc at all in shooting or hanging
the unhappy author who crv ed
lis path.
(hi one occa ion he executed the
publisher?one named I'aJm of
X?:r.' -Vr ?of a book atta king
hir.i bjca :so that in?I: v!J !ir! r iuc 1
to i ua. :<? of its auth.v.
A tcrrih'o fate befell a ninetoenvear->!)l
a aii.oress <?t a poem wbi h
was ro .! bv no other person tlniu
its writer, a lady of the Em pre-*:
Elizabeth of Kussia's court, and the '
e.;. - : Tliis was Vera
Task .:. v h-> wrote about 200 lines
of vor-e satirizing tiie empress'
vices. *
In youthful pride and imprudence
the girl showed the manuscript to :
one of the court ladies. To curry
favor frith the empress this woman (
showed it to Elizabeth, who thereupon
ordered Vera Paskin to be ,
cruelly knouted and banished for
life to Siberia.
A poem has even brought about
the death of its writer, and in England
too. James I. was the offend- ,
ed monarch, John Williams the
poet. Williams, for safety, inclosed j
the verses in an iron box and sent ;
them to the king, who, always fear- i
ing assassination, jumped to the j
conclusion that the box was none <
other than an infernal machine.
When the news of the real nature
of the box's contents leaked out,
however, James grew so angry at
the jeers that were leveled at hir.i
from all parts of the kingdom that ,
he had the unfortunate John Wil- i
liams hanged, drawn and quartered, j
?Pearson's Weekly. <
A New York Street.
"If you ever hear a person brag- ,
ging about his knowledge of Xew ,
York streets just ask him to tell <
you where Old Broadway is and see ,
what he says/' said a man about ,
town. "I've tried it for the last '
year, and ninety-nine out of a liun- j
dred will look at you in amazement ,
and think you've lost your senses. ]
When -I tell them there really is ,
such a street they begin to guess, j
and even- guess is in the downtown
district and generally in the vicin- j
itv of West Broadway. ,
"When I tell them that Old ]
Broadway begins at Manhattan (
street and runs north for five .
blocks, stopping at One Hundred i
and Thirty-third street, they are ,
surprised. I've tried this with per- (
sons living within a few blocks of
this street, and the name i9 just as (
much a surprise to them as it is to 1
others. Every one seems to think
Old Broadway is simply a New
Yorker's affectionate way of speaking
of his famous street and can't t
believe that the name really ap- ;
pear* on any street corner/'?New ]
York Sun.
Flowers and Scents.
"Identically the same scent," says j
a writer, "may occur in plants be- ,
longing to widely different families. ,
For instance, the distinctive smell ,
of violets occurs also in the snow- ,
flake, the 6tocks, a spurge laurel
and the blue water lily of the Nile.
On the other hand, closely allied
plants may emit scents differing ,
greatly in nature and appealing to (
the tastes of different insects.
Among the spurge laurels one species
smells of vanilla, another of .
violets, another of lilac and yet another
of cloves. Flowers which ex- .
hale the delicious smell of honey in
the comb appeal particularly to
bees, butterflies and the moths
which fly by day, as the humming ,
bird, the hawk moth and the gayly
colored burnet. The coarser and
more powerful scents of the hawthorn
and elder are the special al- ,
lurement of the beautiful green rose
beetle and other flower loving bee- ,
ties, while butterflies leave this class
of scents severely alone."
The Message That Came.
Professor Peepup was busily en- |
gaged with his massive new microtelescope,
making observations of
the movements of various planets,
when the shrill tones of a feminine
voice interrupted him.
"Bless me!" muttered the professor
hastily. "I do wish I could
be left to study in peace. I shall
never be able to fathom this matter
of a message from Mars unless"?
"Oh, but it's come, love!" said
his young wife, who was just run- ]
ning to meet him. 1
"Come! What has come?" que- i
ried the professor in a dazed tone. '
"A message from mar's!" ejacu- <
laied the delighted "wifie. "And 1
mar is coming to stay with us for 1
ever and ever. Arm't you glad, i
dear?"?Strand Magazine.
in cough syrups containing opiates constipate
the oowels. Bee's Laxative Honey ant
Tar stoves the bowels and contains no oputM.
Sold by W L Wallace.
THE WORLD AMD THE LOVER.
An Old Proverb Thnt I3 Exceedingly
Open to Question.
The whole world is proverbially
Eaid to love a lover. Like most proverbial
statements, this one is exceedingly
open to question. In fact,
all the evidence seems flatly the
other way. On what data, one wonders,
did the old proverb maker
base his dictum? Surely not on
the great love stories. The world,
with its appetite for vicarious excitement,
likes well enough to
watch the tragic spectacle of a
great passion. Incapable of great
feelings itself, it thrills to the
rlmma nf thorn in others. It even
applauds their lawlessness and canonizes
their audacity. All the same, '
it will not raise a finger to help
while the story is in the making,
but, on the contrary, docs everything
in its power to persecute and ;
impede. The moment Romeo and
Juliet are safely dead in each oth- ,
or's arms the world is voluble with
its sympathy, but not till it is quite j
sure that its sympathy can be of no
possible service to the lovers. While {
sympathy would be of some use, the
world, which is the embodied cow- j
ardiee and cant of humanity, stands .
firm with Montague and Capulet,
seniors. If the lovers win, well and '
;jood. No one has ever denied that
the world loves success, though it
lias .always consistently done its
worst to prevent it. Yes, the world
loves successful love, as it lawns on
anything that has conquered it. It
loves also pity th^ft costs it nothing.
But that it loves a lover, for love of
love, is simply not true. If it were
true, there would probably have
been no love stories, for the drama
of love has mostly come of the conflict
between the lovers and the
crnrld Thev had to count the world
well lost to win each other. It waj |
so in the days of Tristan and IsecJi:,
and so it still is in the days of Rudolph
of Bavaria.?Richard L? Gil*
lienne in Smart Set.
Lif* of Watch.
The lifetime of a good watch,
says Amateur Work, is fifty years.
In its daily duties the balance vibrates
18,000 times every hour,
432,000 times a day, or 157,680,000
times a year. The hairspring makes
a similar number of vibrations and
an equal number of ticks from the
escapement. If it is really a good
watch, multiply 157,680,000 by 50,
which gives 7,884,000,000 pulsations
in fifty years. The chances
are that the watch may even then
be in serviceable condition. This is
& marvelous record, considering the
small quantity of food that has beert'
consumed by its constant action.
We say food because whatever labors
must be fed, and the watch
"lives" on about sixteen inches of
mainspring every twenty-four hours,,
which furnishes the power.
Hi* Hereditary Foe.
An. Irishman, a Scotchman and
an Englishman on the unemployed
list were once tramping the country
in search of work. On coming
to a field of turnips they took several
in order to appease the pan^s
of hunger. For this they were
dragged before the judge, who took
a lenient view of the case. Before
sentencing each to twelve lashes on
the hare hack he agreed to confer
a anall favor according as each requested.
The Englishman asked the
faror of his overcoat, the Scotchman
his own as well as that of the
Englishman, while the Irishman,
casting a sly glance at the judge,
said, "ifay it please your honor, I
would just like the Englishman
across my back."
A cold taken at this time of the
pear is generally hard to get rid of
3ut it will not be able to with?tand
Bee's Laxative Honey and
rar. That will cure all colds,
?ughs, croup, whooping cough, etc.,
Dy driving them out through the
towels. If you have a cold, try it
ind if not cured get your money
jack. No opiates.?Sold by W L
Wallace.
People do:i'i pay $9l',0UU for a
seat in the New Y>?rk CottOn ex
change for the fun *<i it. This fad
8hould be ieUouU eliollgil tor KliV
legislator to vote all sudi e\ii doers
OUt. "Xuff Sell "
An Important Question.
He was an impecunious, seedy,
out at the elbows person, and the
doctor, when he prescribed for him,
knew better than to expect a fee.
"For the inflamed eyes," said the
benevolent physician, "dissolve as
much boracic acid as you can put on
a ton cent pi eve in half a glass of
water."
"Thank you, doctor," murmured
the naiient. tumin' awav. A mo
i
mcnt later, however, the office door
was opened, and the patient sidled
in.
"Say, doc." said he. with an ingratiating
smile, "where do I get
the ten cent piece?"
Too Faith of a Celestial.
A Chicago gambler, whose first
r.air.c was George, used to visit a
Chinaman's establishment and
smoke opium and gamble almost
daily. One day he rushed into the
place and said excitedly: "Flip, loan
me $10. Thanks. I'll come in and
pay you tomorrow noon if I'm
alive." And out he went with the
money. About 3 o'clock the next
afternoon a friend of the gambler I
dropped in on the Chinaman and
said, "Ilip, where is George today?"
and the confiding Celestial wiped
his eyes with the corner of his
blouse and replied, "George, him
dead."?Earth.
Where Charity Begins.
The public spirited lady met the
little boy on the street. Something
about his appearance halted her.
She stared at him in her nearsighted
way.
The Ladv ? Little boy, haven't
you any home?
The Little Boy?Oh, yes'm; I've
got a home.
The Lady?And loving parents?
The little Boy?Yes'm.
The Lady?I'm afraid you do not
know what love really is. Do your
parents look after your moral welfare?
The Little Boy?Yes'm.
The Lady ? Are they bringing
you up to be a good and helpful citizen?
The Little Boy?Yes'm.
The Lady ? Will you ask your
mother to come and hear me talk
on "When Does a Mother's Duty
to Her Child Begin ?" next Saturday
afternoon at 3 o'clock at Lyceum
hall?
The Little Boy (explosively) ?
What's the mattet with you, ma ?
Don't you know me ? I'm your little
boy!?Cleveland Plain Dealer, j
"Wood's
Earliest
Valentine
Snap Beans
are unquestionably the earliest,
most productive and the best
strain of Red 8peckled Valentine
Snap Beans on the market?the
true round-pod kind.
See the letters from our customers?large
growers?In our Descriptive
Catalog for 1907, testifying
to the superiority of our
stocks.
Larsre buyers of Snap Beans,
Early Peas,* or other Vegetable
Seeds are requested to write for
our 8pecial Truckers' prices.
Wood's New Seed Book
for 1907 gives the fullest information
about seeds for market-gardeners
and trackeTS?best kinds to
grow, and the best way to grow
them. Mailed free on request.
>T.W. WOODS SONS.
Seedsmen, . Richmond, Va/
Not Too Good For the General.
It is related of General Sterling
Price that he once stopped at a
humble cahin in Missouri and asked
for sunner. The jrood wife of the
II V.
hou& was thrown into a flutter of
excitement over entertaining her
distinguished guest and profuse
with apologies for the not very
tempting menu, consisting of corn
dodgers, boiled eollards and wheat
coffee sweetened with sorghum. The
hungry officer ate heartily of the
coarse food, but not relishing the
over sweet coffee passed his cup,
saying:
"Not quite so much molasse9,
please."
"The idee!" gasped the loyal
hostess. "Catch me skimpin' your
pweetenin'!" as she tilted the molasses
jug upward while amber ropes
of 'sweetenin' overflowed cup and
saucer and threatened disaster to
the spotless homespun cloth.
"Why (enthusiastically), that coffee
would be none too good for General
Price if 'twas all molasses!"?
Memphis News-Scimiter.
| III FERTILIZERS |
| FORALLCROPSANDFOR'BiGCROPS! f"
S? Etiwan Fertilizers are carefully made 3
i ? "2
sx trom the Best Materials, are of High 2
? Grade and Fine Quality, and Produce 3
jE Splendid Results. 3
v^v\vivvv\ reS
^ PTIWAM rnTTOM rnMPOl IMn *2
JUtf I I T T i 1 V V M V i 1 V \/ till \/ v * ^ ^ IV'
? PLOW BRAND RAW BONE SUPER- ||
? PHOSPH ATE, DIAHOND SOLUBLE BONE, 3
F- TOBACCO FERTILIZERS, %
?? and other 3
H HIGH GRADE FERTILIZERS. 5?
? 3
| ^ VAV\V\V\V\ ^
| ETIWAN FERTILIZER CO., ?
? Charleston, S. C. H
E 3
| Cash is Economy.
At this season the mail behind the
pocket book is the man who holds
the reins. .
If it's a Horse or Male yon want |
we can fill your need.
In BUGGIES, WAGONS, HARNESS,
LAP ROBES, HORSE BLANKETS,
all the best on the market, <
we are headquarters.
VISIT OUR STABLE5, TELL . US YOUR
WANTS AND WE LL DO THE REST.
F. C. THOMAS
9
'i ZEZing-stxee, S, O,
Real Estate for Sale- OUR CLUBBING RATES.
1428?acres Florence Countv, 360 ? , ....
cleared, balance splendidly timbered. .Ve offer cbea? clubbing rates- j
plenty of buildia?s, Church & P. 0. wiiu a number of popular newscoavenieat,
good neighborhood. papers and periodicals. Read careS02?acres
Williamsburg County, 200 fully the following list and select
acres cleared, balance in nne black and the one or more that you fancy and
yellow pine timber; in we shall be pleased to send in yoar
cultivation, clear of stumpe, nuia miles , T, ' J
from Cades Depot. Convenient to order. These rates are of coarse ail
Church & P. 0. cash in advance, which meads that
bothJCuE Record and the paper
139-acres Williamsburg co^ty 60 ord^d mn8t ^ id f nofc
acres cleared, 2 miles from Cades Depot, jkc^qq-ia-i-i l f __.?r ,-r,
timber sold, plantation rights reserved ? ' 7? 9? 10L V? but TWELVE
this is (rood land aad eaa be be bought MONTHS ahead. Below is the list of
ripkt. oar best clubbing offers.
?00??okm WiHiamsbuig 85 The Record and News & Courier
clewed, balance fine olnetwaber, 2 four
room houses, 7 miles rrom Kings tree. (Semi-weekly,) $1.60.
200?acres Williamsburg, sixty acres The Record and Home & Farm
cleared, one 8 room house, some build- (twice a mouth.) $1.35.
mgs, this is a fine place, 7 miss from v ,J * V
Kwgstree. The Record and New York World
125-acres. Williamsburg oounty, 40 (3 times a week,) $1.75.
sta&W *253.0$ The Record and Atlanta Con.tiTlbis
is good land, especially adapted to, tution (3 times a week) $1.85.
trucking, and can be bought-worth the. The Record RQd AtJanta Constimoney.
I
... , . OA ? I tution (weekly $1.50.
60-acres Clarendon county, 20 acaes | v , n ? n
cleared, timber sold 10 acres excepted, The record and Bryan s Comnear
Alderman's R. R. has R F D Mail- > monerj $1.75.
route, can be bought right. The Record and Cosmopolitan
1 3-4 acres, in l.ake City, with one 5 .. 7room
house, barn, stables, poultry yard, Magazine $1.7&.
artesian well. Thi Record and Youth's ComUkeTity3"1,
'0t in Resid tial part ?f panion (New Snbacribera) $2.50.
All of the above property will be sold ^HE record Semi-Weekly State,
at bargain prices, write me for prices $2.50.
and all particulars. The record and Lippiucott's
Lake City. S. C. ^ F" LT&Ste, Magazine 1 year each $2.75.
10?18-tf. The Record and National
__ Magazine, 1 year each, $1.60.
. JN". B. We do not club with any
fmWerUl d,ily papCT8. The firat iaa?e y.i? X
receive of the paper or periodical is
KINGSTKEE: . - lata
nd d Sundays, 11 a m. evidence that the money for same
2nd and 4th Sundays, 7 ao pjm. has been forwarded by us. We are
Wednesdays, 7:30 p m.
UNION : not responsible after that.
2nd and 4th Sundays, 11 a m.
ce^ra]'m ? m the county record
1st and 3rd Sundays, 3 pm. y
E? E* ERVIS* Pastor, Kingatre?, S. C.
.jii