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We WALLOW in mud, But I'm tellin'you, bud- By POSEN k- v We're still just as homely as SIN." 1 ssorinu^ly doubt that Bonton. the town from whence came i. is blessed with any greater number of characters than any other town its size. Still, it certainly has had its share of unusual personalities. Tor instance, there was the old storekeeper I remember. After being a holdout for many years, this old gent finally bought him self one of those new-fangled con traptions they came to call the automobile- He learned to drive it. but he never accustomed himself to traffic rules. He was more or less a free-style driver and so his conduct in traffic was at best un orthodox. One day, the story goes, he drove down to Memphis and was cruising down a crowded street when he suddenly decided he Was going in the wrong direction. So what did he do but stop and start turning around right in the mid dle of the street while traffic piled up for several blocks in all direc tions. Within a few seconds the area was crawling with cops. ‘Don’t you know you can’t turn around in t h e^ middle of the street?” bawled a burly bulk “Well, n o w,” the old gent drawled in a voice that twanged like a loose guitar string, “I be lieve I can make it!” Another time he had driven to St. Louis and there he created quite a disturbance in that nar row-minded city by trying to drive on the wrong side of the street Once again -the cops appeared as if by magic. “What’s the matter with you?” screamed a red-faced policeman. “You drunk?” ‘No,” need the unruffled driver, ‘I ain’t drunk yet—just got here!” THE ELASTIC FEE OftSON/ PONT VOL) \ KNOW IT'S WRONG 70J STEAL? GIVE. “ ME THAT •ILL IT// Bv NICK PENN MUTT AND JEFF By Bud Fisher JITTER By Arthur Pointer WYLDE AND WOOLY By Bert Thomas WHY IN THE WORLD ARE YOU HITTING VERSELF OYER THE HEAD, BUD? 'Got a spore 'Mickey Finn' on you, mister?' ■Bf The lawyer surveyed the tattered client as he listened, and decided that he would be lucky to obtain a ten-dollar fee. He named that amount as necessary to secure the prisoner’s release. Thereupon, the client drew forth a large roll of bills, and peeled off a ten. The law yer’s greedy eyes popped. “What jail is your son in?” he inquired craftily. “In the county jail.” “In the county Jail, not the city jail!” was the exclamation in a tone of dismay. “That’s bad—very bad. It will cost you at least fifty dol lars.” Put In His Place Magnate (to poor suitor): “Young man, do you know how I made my money?” Young man: “Yes, but I can’t permit that to stand in the way of Muriel’s happiness.” AMAZING! A man was discovered by his wife one night standing over his baby’s crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw in his face a mixture of emotions— rapture, doubt, admiration, despair, ecstasy, incredulity. Touched and wondering alike at this unusual parental attitude and the conflicting emotions the wife with eyes glist ening arose and slipped her arms around him. “A penny for your thoughts,” she said, in a voice tremulous. He blurU ed them out: “For the life of me, I can’t see how anybody can make a crib like that for three forty-nine!” DISTINCTION A new system of memory train ing was being taught in a village school, and the teacher was be coming enthusiastic. “For instance,” he said, “sup posing you want to remember the name of a poet—Bobby Burns. Fix in your mind’s eye a picture of a policeman in flames. See— Bobby Burns?” “Yes, 1 see,” said a bright pupil. “But how is any one to know it does not represent Rob ert Browning?” "Bernhard is SO kindhearted. He wishes there were more of him so he could date ALL the girls in school!" Poor Service After several hours’ fishing little Patty suddenly threw down her pole and exclaimed, “I quit!” “Why, Patty, what’s the matter?” asked her mother. “Well, Mother,” she answered, “I just can’t seem to get waited on!” FIRST AID to the AILING HOUSE) BY ROGER C. WHITMAN Question: I just finished the staggering task of removing some casein paint from a bathroom ceil ing, by using a strong water sof tener solution and a scraper. I am now down to the plaster. Do I treat the bare plaster the same as when new; that is, by using sizing, un dercoat and then paint? I had to remove the casein paint because it started to peel and let go of the ceiling. Answer: YoLi did all right, for you succeeded in doing what, you started out to do. But the water softening solution should all be thoroughly washed off, for if you let it stay on the ceiling, it will continue to work on your new paint and spoil the job. Use plenty of water for the wash-off. When the ceiling is quite dry, apply two coats of enamel undercoater and a finish of enamel following the directions on the label. Where you made your original mistake was in putting casein paint on the bathroom ceiling. The steam loos ened th% paint and caused it to peel. Enamel is the right kind of finish for bathroom and kitchen surfaces (unless you are going to use other hard finishes for the walls). Flat wall paints are not supposed to be used for these rooms. Coal Was Created Before Human Advent What is coal? How was it made? Well, it all started many millions of years ago, in what is called the Carboniferous Period. We some-, times call it the Coal Age. The cjimate was very warm and moist all over the earth. There were heavy rains. Plants grew fast and luxuriantly, especially in swampy areas. In our country, these great swamps extended in all directions to where we find coal today in what is now Pennsylvania and the whole Appalachian range, the middle Atlantic states, the Rocky Mountains, and even the far away Pacific Coast. The forest trees resembled giant ferns, reeds, and mosses, rising to heights of 100 to 120 feet, and many feet in diame ter. Other trees looked much like enormous ferns, climbing 50 feet into the air. Everything was green and lush in this strange world. The giant trees, ferns, grasses, insect life and other creatures, died, fell into the swamps and became part of the sea life buried there. Heavy rains washed soil and sand from high places into the swampy low lands. Land gradually sank. The great inland seas advanced and covered up these peat-like bogs, keeping out air and bacteria that cause decay. Again conditions on the earth changed. The land was raised up and once more forests grew, flourished, and died. Again the land sank and the seas ad vanced. This process continued over and over through untold thousands of years. The sunshine, whose warmth and magic made these forests, was buried with the vege tation. Slowly the forests piled up one atop of the other, the peat layers began changing into some thing we now call lignite, and the enormous deposits of dead leaves, branches, tninks, insect life, and sea life were transformed slowly into coal and other minerals. The quality of legume and grass silage can be improved by letting the green material partially wilt before putting it into the silo, and by adding 60 pounds of molasses, or 150 pounds of ground shelled corn, or 200 pounds of ground ear com to each ton as the silo is fiHed. * * • Coal of the Samchok basin, larg est fuel source in South Korea, is poor anthracite hard to bum un less mixed with bituminous, but its use reduces expensive imports of other fuels. Pruning and dormant sprayftig of trees and shrubs may be done any time when the temperature is 45 degrees or higher. ' • • * The typical raindrop shape is produced by air pressure. The raindrop would be a sphere if it were floating free in space or falling in a vacuum. • • • Bowling is believed to have originated as a rite among early Christians in Germany. dividing vour attention S/7/r MULTIPLY YOUR TROUBLES m. ill Vi ••• ■w® w AtmHJTE ■ SPARK PLUGS Oraotor Oat Savings— Auto-Lits Resistor Spark Plugs offer cor owners new advantages found only in automotive type spark plugs with built-in resistors. VJ Unsurpassed Qualify— Auto-Ute Standard Spark Plugs offer outstanding quality and have long boon recognized for beatable | Cost Pur Mil* of spark plug operation • . • Auto-Ute Transport Spark have aircraft type electrodes for heavy duty. SEE YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD AUTO-LITE SPARK PLUG DEALER NOW SPCRTSCOPE By Je« MAHONEY sly the best compliment that BE PAID RAPID ROBERT TODAY IS ^ SAY HE HAD POOR SEASONS IN , »Q48/4Q AND'SO. DURING THOSE*POOR SEASONS HE WON 19, 15 AND 16 GAMES RESPECTIVELY. IN 1950 HE WON THE LAST 6 GAMES STRAIGHT AND HIS 3.43 EARNED RUN RECORD WAS THIRD BEST IN THE AMERICAN LEAGUE. . t OF THE ATHLETICS FART1CIRATED IN 194 DOUBLE PLAYS IN 1949 FOR A MAJOR LEAGUE RECORD. LEATHER OR RUBBER StLBNCe HUM OP SCREEN DOOR. SPRING BV INSERTING PIECE OF RUBBER BETWEEN THE HOOKS AND SPRING* MweDocfms SmoteCWs “ffatotcuy dfot cigafidfe,! according to a repeated nationwide survey of doctors in every branch of medicine!