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THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY. S. C. VIRGIL By Lea KUU SUNNYSIDE by Clorlc S. How Making Political Hay A delegation from Kansas, call* tag upon Theodore Roosevelt at Oyster Bay, was met by the Pres ident with coat and collar off. “Ah. gentlemen,*’ he said, mopping his brow, “I’m delighted to see you, but I’m very busy putting in my hay just now. Come down to the barn and we’U talk things over while I work.” When they reached the bam, there was no hay waiting to be thrown into the mow. “James!” shouted the President to his hired man in the loft. “Where’s that hay?” "I’m sorry, sir,” admitted James, “but I just ain’t had time to throw it back since you forked it up for yesterday’s delegation.’ Found HIs Niche Null: *T started out on the theory that the world has an opening for me.* Void: “And you found it?” Null: “Well, rather. I’m in the hole now.” BI221E -BE SURE TO WIPE YOUR PEET BEFORE COMING IN- The lives of our remotely settled mountaineers are colored by a faith that is no longer very strong in the city dweller. Take patent medicine testimonials, for instance. For a vacation, one of our he- man movie stars chose to rough it in the Ozark Mountains. One day he was strutting his stuff before a crowd around the village store, when one native inquired: “Mister, ain’t I seen you somewhere?” “I wouldn’t be surprised,” the celluloid hero replied. “My picture has been in all the newspapers and magazines—many times!” *T knowed it!” the mountaineer exclaimed. “Tell me, mister. What wus you cured of?” Don’t Trust Him MUTT AND JEFF 'HEypuppy/JoHNo YOUR ■P^JiONOER YOU LIGHTS M DIDNT SEE THAT n/\ RED LIGHT 'WE JUST PASSED/ PASSED A RED T WELL, WE DIDN’TTBUT WE LIGHT? AND ON \ THINK THERE WAS J ALMOST THE WRONG SIDE/ ANV HARM IN [wENT OFF ON THE /WHEN MUTT ROAD/ O' r* WAS DOIN' SIXTY/ 'SKHSNVHly/ HM-I GOT A GOODj | MIND TO GIVE YOU A TICKET, BUT— Bud Fisher AW. DON'T BE TOO HARP ON HIM,OFFICER/ AFTER ALL. YOU CANT EXPECT A k GUV WITHOUTA LICENSE iTO BE A GOOD IV/ERJ JITTER WYIDE AND WOOLY By Bert Thomas IT MAY SURPRISE YOU TO LEARN THAT THIS STUFF ,s 40% cotton/.I The city lawyer was questioning Farmer Purdy about the truthfull- ness of a neighbor, dye to take the witness stand in a forthcoming case. “Wal,” said the farmer, “I wouldn’t exactly say Jed was a liar. But Til tell ye this; when it comes time to feed his hogs, he has to git some body else to call ’em fer him! Not Adept Father—“Can you really type write?” Daughter—“No, Dad. It seems that I can only type wrong.” . * Via Air St. Peter: “How did you get here?” New Arrival: ’ ;lu.” LIKE PULLING IN A HOLE CHEMISTRY TEACHER — “That boy will be the death of me yet.” Principal — “What has he done now?” Teacher — “He wants to know what will happen if he should pour a bottle of ink eradicator into a bottle of ink.” Dry Cleaning Minnie: “You look all out of sorts. What’s the matter?” Nellie “Plenty. On account of my rheumatism the doctor told me to avoid all dampness—and you have no idea how silly I feel sit ting in an empty bathtub and going over myself with a vacuum clean er.” EXTENDED SYMPATHY One day sometime ago a bur glar was arrested in the home of a Washington matron, and the next evening at dinner she told Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes all about R. “I went right down to the jail and talked to that burglar,” she said. earnestly. “I told him how evil his way of life was, and how much happier he would be if he reformed. I talked to him for two hours.” “Poor man,” murmured Holmes. “Poor man!” In Full Bloom Little Mary was visiting her grandmother in the country. Walk ing in the garden, she chanced to see a peacock, a bird she had never seen before. After gazing in silent admiration, she quickly ran into the house and cried out: “Oh, gran ny, come and see! One of your chickens in is bloom!” ■'~ r • Distinctive Mail Box Designs on One Pattern fyr ^ TWO DESIGNS FOR MAILBOXES PATTERN 238 One bread today can supply 40 per cent of a worker’s daily food energy needs. Distinctive Mail Boxes H ERE ARE two unusual mail boxes. The cut-out oxen and wheels turn a metal post box into a realistic covered wagon. Also on the same pattern is the bird design cut out of plywood for beside the front door. Actual-size cutting guides, and direc tions. Pattern 338; price 25 centa. WORKSHOP PATTERN 8ERV1CR Drawer 10 Redferd Hills. New Terk Food Energy pound of enriched white ProteetkMi The first .wheat crop raised by the PilgrinAs in New England was grown in cemeteries to protect the grain froth Indians. Laddy in the Dark , "Oh, dear, Benjy, you shouldn't have kissed me like that just now in the Tunnel of Love. What if some of those other people saw you?" “I didn’t kisgjrou. But if I find out who did, 1’U sure teach him a lesson." a “Ah, Benjy, you couldn’t teach that guy nothing!" CONSTIPATION GONE- FEELS WONDERFUL “I was constipated for years with no relief in sight. Then I began eat ing ALL-BRAN every day. Now I'm regular...feel wonderful...thanks a million!" Abra- hamS. Zalman,2805 Deerfield Rd., Far Rockaway, N. Y. One of many unso licited letters from ALL-BRAN usere. This may be your to constipation due to'lack bulkT of dietary Eat an ounce [ after 10 days, send empty box to Kellogg’s, Battle Creek, Mich. Get doubxji TOUR MONET RACK! / m • cloud o which kills (lies, toes, roaches, a bugs, moths and fish. Leaves do a ant odor and is less to human when used m Sold at drug, and farm supply TOBACCO BY-PRODUCTS B CORPORATION • RICHMOND, JNSSC* kiu** IICAl Kidney Slow-Down May Bring Restless Nights t kidney fane aplain of L'Xf • 1 Don’t euffer netleee nil eomforte if reduced kid ting you down—due to i as etreee and strain, « posure to cold. Minor due to cold, dampness or cause getting up nights or I Don’t neglect your lddn__ _ . tions bother you. Try Doan’s _ diuretic. Used sueeeasfully by ever 60 years. While often r ft’s amazing how many ti haopy relief from thee# t the 16 miles of kidney tubes tush out waste. Get Doan’s PUs BOAS’S Pi m**"”—- ... Lead 5 ^ c *r £4** Other h r BUVion*- s-sSToA Ijjkslk® V. A .*n. let your sell conditions which is the TIRE for YOU. CHAMPIO N OPEN CENTER fA V ENTER There are Ttoany tractor tires on the market today but only two basic types—the Open Center and the Trac tion Center. Some farmers prefer the Open Center for their soil conditions. "Others prefer the Traction Center. Only Firestone builds both. If you want the finest Open Center Tire that money can buy — or — if you'd rather have the one and only Traction Center, you'll find it in a Firestone Champion. Both Champions have die curved bar design to give you the extra leverage necessary for full traction power. Both have Flared Tread Open ings for positive cleaning action. Both have many extra-traction and long- wear features not to be found in other tires. Make your next tires Firestone Champions — either Open Center or Traction Center, ALWAYS BUY TIRES BUIL OF THE FIRST PRACTIC/