The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, April 20, 1951, Image 7
THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY. S. C.
VIRGIL
By Lea KUU
SUNNYSIDE
by Clorlc S. How
Making Political Hay
A delegation from Kansas, call*
tag upon Theodore Roosevelt at
Oyster Bay, was met by the Pres
ident with coat and collar off. “Ah.
gentlemen,*’ he said, mopping his
brow, “I’m delighted to see you,
but I’m very busy putting in my
hay just now. Come down to the
barn and we’U talk things over
while I work.”
When they reached the bam,
there was no hay waiting to be
thrown into the mow. “James!”
shouted the President to his hired
man in the loft. “Where’s that
hay?”
"I’m sorry, sir,” admitted James,
“but I just ain’t had time to throw
it back since you forked it up for
yesterday’s delegation.’
Found HIs Niche
Null: *T started out on the theory
that the world has an opening for
me.*
Void: “And you found it?”
Null: “Well, rather. I’m in the
hole now.”
BI221E
-BE SURE TO WIPE
YOUR PEET BEFORE
COMING IN-
The lives of our remotely settled
mountaineers are colored by a
faith that is no longer very strong
in the city dweller. Take patent
medicine testimonials, for instance.
For a vacation, one of our he-
man movie stars chose to rough it
in the Ozark Mountains. One day
he was strutting his stuff before a
crowd around the village store,
when one native inquired: “Mister,
ain’t I seen you somewhere?”
“I wouldn’t be surprised,” the
celluloid hero replied. “My picture
has been in all the newspapers and
magazines—many times!”
*T knowed it!” the mountaineer
exclaimed. “Tell me, mister. What
wus you cured of?”
Don’t Trust Him
MUTT AND JEFF
'HEypuppy/JoHNo
YOUR ■P^JiONOER YOU
LIGHTS M DIDNT SEE THAT
n/\ RED LIGHT
'WE JUST PASSED/
PASSED A RED T WELL, WE DIDN’TTBUT WE
LIGHT? AND ON \ THINK THERE WAS J ALMOST
THE WRONG SIDE/ ANV HARM IN [wENT OFF
ON THE /WHEN MUTT
ROAD/
O'
r*
WAS DOIN'
SIXTY/
'SKHSNVHly/
HM-I GOT A GOODj
| MIND TO GIVE YOU
A TICKET, BUT—
Bud Fisher
AW. DON'T BE TOO HARP
ON HIM,OFFICER/ AFTER
ALL. YOU CANT EXPECT A
k GUV WITHOUTA
LICENSE
iTO BE A
GOOD
IV/ERJ
JITTER
WYIDE AND WOOLY
By Bert Thomas
IT MAY SURPRISE YOU TO
LEARN THAT THIS STUFF
,s 40% cotton/.I
The city lawyer was questioning
Farmer Purdy about the truthfull-
ness of a neighbor, dye to take the
witness stand in a forthcoming case.
“Wal,” said the farmer, “I wouldn’t
exactly say Jed was a liar. But Til
tell ye this; when it comes time to
feed his hogs, he has to git some
body else to call ’em fer him!
Not Adept
Father—“Can you really type
write?”
Daughter—“No, Dad. It seems
that I can only type wrong.”
. *
Via Air
St. Peter: “How did you get
here?”
New Arrival: ’ ;lu.”
LIKE PULLING IN A HOLE
CHEMISTRY TEACHER — “That
boy will be the death of me yet.”
Principal — “What has he done
now?”
Teacher — “He wants to know
what will happen if he should pour
a bottle of ink eradicator into a
bottle of ink.”
Dry Cleaning
Minnie: “You look all out of
sorts. What’s the matter?”
Nellie “Plenty. On account of
my rheumatism the doctor told me
to avoid all dampness—and you
have no idea how silly I feel sit
ting in an empty bathtub and going
over myself with a vacuum clean
er.”
EXTENDED SYMPATHY
One day sometime ago a bur
glar was arrested in the home of
a Washington matron, and the
next evening at dinner she told
Supreme Court Justice Oliver
Wendell Holmes all about R. “I
went right down to the jail and
talked to that burglar,” she said.
earnestly. “I told him how evil
his way of life was, and how
much happier he would be if he
reformed. I talked to him for
two hours.”
“Poor man,” murmured
Holmes. “Poor man!”
In Full Bloom
Little Mary was visiting her
grandmother in the country. Walk
ing in the garden, she chanced to
see a peacock, a bird she had never
seen before. After gazing in silent
admiration, she quickly ran into
the house and cried out: “Oh, gran
ny, come and see! One of your
chickens in is bloom!”
■'~ r •
Distinctive Mail Box
Designs on One Pattern
fyr ^
TWO
DESIGNS
FOR
MAILBOXES
PATTERN 238
One
bread today can supply 40 per cent
of a worker’s daily food energy
needs.
Distinctive Mail Boxes
H ERE ARE two unusual mail
boxes. The cut-out oxen and
wheels turn a metal post box into
a realistic covered wagon. Also on
the same pattern is the bird design
cut out of plywood for beside the
front door.
Actual-size cutting guides, and direc
tions. Pattern 338; price 25 centa.
WORKSHOP PATTERN 8ERV1CR
Drawer 10
Redferd Hills. New Terk
Food Energy
pound of enriched white
ProteetkMi
The first .wheat crop raised by
the PilgrinAs in New England was
grown in cemeteries to protect the
grain froth Indians.
Laddy in the Dark ,
"Oh, dear, Benjy, you shouldn't
have kissed me like that just now
in the Tunnel of Love. What if
some of those other people saw
you?"
“I didn’t kisgjrou. But if I find
out who did, 1’U sure teach him a
lesson." a
“Ah, Benjy, you couldn’t teach
that guy nothing!"
CONSTIPATION GONE-
FEELS WONDERFUL
“I was constipated for years with
no relief in sight. Then I began eat
ing ALL-BRAN every day. Now
I'm regular...feel
wonderful...thanks
a million!" Abra-
hamS. Zalman,2805
Deerfield Rd., Far
Rockaway, N. Y.
One of many unso
licited letters from
ALL-BRAN usere.
This may be your
to constipation due to'lack
bulkT
of dietary
Eat an ounce
[ after 10 days,
send empty box to Kellogg’s,
Battle Creek, Mich. Get doubxji
TOUR MONET RACK! /
m
• cloud o
which kills (lies,
toes, roaches, a
bugs, moths and
fish. Leaves do a
ant odor and is
less to human
when used m
Sold at drug,
and farm supply
TOBACCO BY-PRODUCTS B
CORPORATION • RICHMOND,
JNSSC*
kiu**
IICAl
Kidney Slow-Down
May Bring
Restless Nights
t kidney fane
aplain of
L'Xf
• 1
Don’t euffer netleee nil
eomforte if reduced kid
ting you down—due to i
as etreee and strain, «
posure to cold. Minor
due to cold, dampness or
cause getting up nights or I
Don’t neglect your lddn__ _ .
tions bother you. Try Doan’s _
diuretic. Used sueeeasfully by
ever 60 years. While often r
ft’s amazing how many ti
haopy relief from thee# t
the 16 miles of kidney tubes
tush out waste. Get Doan’s PUs
BOAS’S Pi
m**"”—- ...
Lead 5 ^
c *r £4**
Other h r
BUVion*-
s-sSToA
Ijjkslk®
V.
A .*n.
let your sell conditions
which is the TIRE for YOU.
CHAMPIO N
OPEN CENTER
fA V
ENTER
There are Ttoany tractor tires on
the market today but only two basic
types—the Open Center and the Trac
tion Center. Some farmers prefer the
Open Center for their soil conditions.
"Others prefer the Traction Center. Only
Firestone builds both.
If you want the finest Open Center
Tire that money can buy — or — if
you'd rather have the one and only
Traction Center, you'll find it in a
Firestone Champion.
Both Champions have die curved
bar design to give you the extra
leverage necessary for full traction
power. Both have Flared Tread Open
ings for positive cleaning action. Both
have many extra-traction and long-
wear features not to be found in other
tires.
Make your next tires Firestone
Champions — either Open Center or
Traction Center,
ALWAYS BUY TIRES BUIL
OF THE FIRST PRACTIC/