University of South Carolina Libraries
/ ■ *t m pop, WILL vou Buy ME A PARROT X By Lea 1NYS1DE et &*gX r Zi ss/ j YgAM? >4! BUT TWS TEA UXXS TBRRIBL.V WEAK' VOU'D BE W6AK_'TOP< IN A CUP OP MOT WA* by Oort S. Hoo» ss ' '''\ v Vf MHfCHX) GAFFER • ••••* ft ft ft * M< u MET/ I) X 1 By Clay Hunter w V l BOUFORD TUM-Pr-TuM DC-DUM-DUM t 3 ONLY MKYTD > 6«r cucpcto «noc UBOUMD ISTD SHO* ? THEM YOU CARE Mflt^ s By MELLORS MUTT AND JEFF IX.HOT ME/ Y"BUT WHV, JEFF? ’ 1 WON'T GO (OOf? Ff?lEND. THE AN iTJ^UJT, ISA SAFE .AN£/<^-*y FLVERy 7! GO AHEAO VOU GO/ r DON'T WANNA DIE VET/ 'lissen, when vour ^ number is called AND yOUR TIME IS UP. YOU’RE GONNA GO WHETHER VOU'RE UP IN THE AIR OR ON THE GROUND/ LV yEH/ but s'pose THE PILOT'S NUMBER IS UP. AND JTEFF IS SiTTlN'RIGHT BEHIND HIM/ By Bw! FUher VWW wb’rb /nthe SWITCH YARDS AND MSOS COM6SA XAJUKAD' COP. .^/r» SYKRY MAH M* HlMSEU*. .PICK A 6000 SPOT AND HIPS/ «5 *•! HE'S SOME BUT AS SOON AS WE - SET THE CHIMP OUT OF THIS TANK CAR. WE'D BETTER. SCRAM.* By Arthur Pointer VDO SNOULOA KNOWN BETTER THAN ID HIDE IN A CAR OP MOLASSES.. OUtT MOW RSSIN' OR WE AMSHT EVEN HAYS’ TO SIVB- YOU A BATH/ WYLDE AND WOOLY W Her, I MINNIE HO HO By Bert Thomas — f AfiWMfcMT ’ FO« BCnT 4 — "rtCotH^s IT SAYS, "OUCH/ / burned my » * WE LISTENIWG- TO THE RADIO PROGRAM, MOM. WE JUST WRESTLE DURIMG THE COMMERCIAL. - //**$ "SHE OMLV goes WITH ALL THOSE mem so her diary will be EXCITIHG* Deflation A rather conceited bachelor was invited to dinner by a woman of his acquaintance, but did not ac cept. A few days later, meeting her in the street, he said in his best man ner, “I believe you asked me to dine with you last week.” The woman looked at him thoughtfully. i “Why, yes, I believe I did,” she answered brightly, ‘‘And did you come?” REASONABLE WISH John: I wish I had the money to buy an elephant. Sue: Why do you want an ele phant? John: I don’t. I just want the money. Mistaken Identity Charles Lamb was in the habit of wearing a white cravat, and in consequence was sometimes taken for a clergyman. Once at a dinner table, among a large number of guests, his white cravat caused such a mistake to be made, and he was called on to “say grace.” Looking up qnd down the table, he asked, in his inimitable lisping manner: “Is there no cl-cl-clergyman pres ent?” “No sir,” answered a guest. “Then,” said Lamb, bowing his head, “let us thank God.” Mama Knows Best Ruth was a sweet girl. She was reading a book that gave the meaning of names. Her mother was watching her, and thinking of all the young men who were at tracted to her. “Mother,” said Ruth, “it says Philip means lov r of horses, and James means bt.oved. What does George mean, I wonder?” “I hope, my dear,” said her mother, “that George means busi ness.” Kiss of Death The conceited young man had been in the hospital for some time and had been extremely well looked after by the pretty young nurse. “Nurse,” said the patient, one morning, “I’m in love with you. I don’t want to get well.” “Don’t worry,” replied the nurse, cheerfully, “you won’t. The doc tor’s in love with me, too, and he saw you kissing me this morning.” Facts of Life Baby Ear of Com — “Mama, where did I come from?” Mama Ear of Com—“Hush, dear; the stalk brought you.” And Enlarging “I’ve got a photographic memo ry. My brain is just like a nega tive. All it needs is developing.” That’s Right “O, Mother, why are the men in the front baldheaded?” “They bought their tickets from scalpers, my child.” FEMALE DREAM The playwright had struggled for years but at last his work was be ing recognized and, one after an other, his plays were tremendous hits. “All those old bills are paid now, my love,” he said to his wife one day. “We’re going out and buy you some decent clothes this very afternoon.” “We’11 do nothing of the sort,” she snapped. “I want the same kind of things that the other wom en are wearing.” LEAKY BOAT “What’s your opinion of mar riage after 19 years on the sea of matrimony?” the husband was asked. “Well, sometimes I wish,” he answered thoughtfully, “that I had missed the boat.'* Horse Laff Farmer: Let me tell you my friend, that horse knows as much as I do. Friend: Well, don’t tell anybody else; you might want to sell him some day. If You Can Use Hammer, You Can Make a Chest Unexpected A young couple asked the par son to marry them immediately following the Sunday morning service. When the time came, the minister rose and announced: “Will those who wish to be united in the holy bonds of matrimony please come forward?” There was a great stir—and 13 women and one man walked up to the altar. Sideline Wisdom p. My brother-in-law, a particular ly successful contractor, 1 credited his good fortune to the “sidewalk superintendents” who gathered to witness his building projects. He employs one man to do nothing but gather the comments of the crowd, and he claimed that many a major problem was solved by piecing together these bits of wis dom from the sidelines. BARGAIN Small Chest Has Many Uses JF YOU can use a hammer, saw and screwdriver, you can make this chest. The sturdy block- front drawers require no difficult joinings. • • • ■ Heap up breakfast bowlfuls! Pattern 282 gives large working dia- S rams and illustrated step-by-step direc- ons. Pattern is 25c. WORKSHOP PATTERN SERVICE Drawer 10 Bedford Hills, New Terk. Can’t Remember * * *' / •' ' 1 • t • » Friend—“Say, there’s a bunch of people outside waiting to see you. Among them is a bishop who says he married you some time ago.” Film Actress—“Gee; I’m prac tically certain I never married a bishop.” How mild can a cigarette be? MORE PEOPLE SMOKE CAMELS than any ether cigarette! of sweet Kellogg’s Corn Flakes. They’re 1 So ■■PI of corn and its whole-kernel values in iron. Vitamin Bt, niarinf A bargain in goodnes*-— Kellogg’s Com Flakes. MOTNE1 KNOWS m • •• tei * and among the million* who do,— * COLE ■■ PORTER Famous song writer has this to say: “Camels scored a hit with me years ago. A great-tasting smoke I And C a m 4 la ara mildT* l The •rdt V*M» • AUTO-LI - « f y 1 \ or we ST ABOARD • TOUGH LONG MILEAGE TREAD • ALL RAYON GUM-DIPPED CORD BODY • FULL LIFETIME GUARANTEE tt doesn’t pay to run die risk of tire failure on your truck in the busy harvest season, when you can get new Firestone Standard tires at such low prices. See your Firestone Dealer or Firestone Store and find out how much your old tires are worth in trade on the new Firestone Standard — the quality tire at the lowest price. I6» «.<XM 6 rA * 41??