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•••: \y,.' THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY, S. C. THE OLD GAFFER Careful, Colonel! To disobey a command of a colo nel is to invite disaster, as many a green rookie had learned. One morning on a tour of inspec tion a colonel stopped at the kitch en of one of the companies in his command, where he met two K.P’a with a large soup kettle. “Here, you K.P.,** he bellowed. “Let me taste that soup.*’ One of the men hurried back after a large spoon, which he handed respect* fully to the coloneL The officer plunged the ladle into the pot, took a mouthful of the steaming liquid, and smacked his lips critically. Then he let out a howl that could be heard at G.H.Q. half a mile away. “Soup, you blasted fool, do you call that soup?’* he roared. ‘‘No, sir, colonel, that’s just some dish water we was carrying out.’* THE BEAL ERROR ' The owner dt a cheap watch brought it into the jeweler’s shop to see what could be done for it. “The mistake I made, of course,” he admitted, “was in dropping it” “Well, I don’t suppose you could- help that,” the jeweler remarked. **1110 mistake you made was pick ing it up.” Fair Play The two beginners were playing golf. The next green was 300 yards away and over numerous hazards. One shut his eyes and took a lusty swing. By a freak of chance he connected with the ball and sent it sailing for the green. It bounded directly into the cup for a hole in one. s “You’ve made a hole in one, ex claimed the other in an awed voice. MUTT AND JEFF COME ON, TLl- N; I'm REA! TEACH YOU HOW JOFU/J, WELL-1 [LEARN FLY v . IN TE1 EASY . ILESS0NS\ •?.“ * 1 ••• iiari jt's Norf ,TS gr eat/ BAD ( ' IUST THINK MUTT # / I "S ,RE up • 5,000 FEET/ fO^! OH! V THE MOTOR'S komked OUT/ Jjrl WHAT DO WE DO NOW? i JUMP/ * By Bud Fiiher 0H \V BESIDES. THERE'S ^ * NOT HERE/ IT'S MUCH TOO HIGH f A SIGN DOWN THERE WHICH SEZ/KEEP OFF THE GRASS/* m JITTER JtirrfiR TCaOK A RIDE ON TOP OP A CAR. OmtDVXk. THCATTHOU- producer, and CAUSED A COT OP EXCITEMENT.. - ✓—v ‘Til wager two to one I could do it again,” bragged the first. “Okay,” grunted his friend, “It’s a wager—but on one condition.” “Sure,” agreed the confident one. “What’s the condition?” “This time,” said the other, “You’ve got to make the shot with your eyes open!” What, a Whole Set? The millionaire, whose daughter the young man had just saved, was insistent that he accept a cash re ward. Finally, to save an embar rassing situation, our hero said casually: “Well, if you insist, just give me a golf club.” A week later he received a tele gram from the father: “Have bought for you the West- end Golfer’s club, and am now ne gotiating for the Sunnyside Links.” Nothing Trivial A teacther was making a strenu ous effort to get good attendance In her room. Looking over her class one morning, she saw that all ex cept one were in their places. ‘This is fine,” she exclaimed, “all here except Jimmie Jones; and let us hope that it is something serious which keeps him away.” Only When Necessary VlfYlDE AND WOOLY By Bat Thomas "THE PRICE /§ A LITTLE HIGH _ BUT OUR CARS ARE \<X>% USED/* * IF GREGORY WANTS TO MAKE UP, HE KNOWS WHERE TO FIND M£/‘ \ “Dear Teacher,” wrote an Indig nant mother, “You must not whack Tommy. He is a delicate child and isn’t used to it. We never hit him at home except in self-defense.” FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS “Why did you throw the pot of geraniums at the plaintiff?” “Because of an advertisement, your honor.” “What advertisement?” ** ‘Say it with flowers’.” n NEW VALUATION *T see she’s let her hair go dark again.” x “Yes—off the geld standard.” Always Happens Magistrate: “But why did you break into the dress shop four nights running? Defendant: “I got a new dress for my wife and she made me go back and change it three times.” Better Hurry “Jim, why don’t you get mar ried?” “Well, my trouble is that avery day I get more particular rad leaa desirable.” - . — , JEST JESTIN' Humane Act A farmer, on his way to town in his wagon, overtook a peddler with a heavy pack on his back. The kind-hearted farmer pulled up his horse and offered the wayfarer a ride, which was gratefully ac cepted. After a while the farmer noticed that the peddler kept his pack on his back. “Why don’t you relieve yourself of that load, and put it in the back of the wagon?” he asked. “Well,” said the peddler, “you have been so kind to me, and I noticed that your horse did not seem particularly strong, so I thought I would take some of the load myself.” ' KNEW HER GUESTS Two travelers arrived at the ho tel and were shown a rather dingy room. “What,” said one, “does this pig sty cost?” Promptly the proprietor replied: "For one pig, two dollars; for two pigs, three dollars.” \ No Overtime The boss came in early and found his bookkeeper kissing the steno grapher. “Is this whqt I pay for?” ho asked. “No, I do this free of charge,” replied the bookkeeper. any- The Hard Way “Hard work never killed body,” said the lather. “That’s just the trouble. Dad,” returned the son. Just out of college. “I want to engage in something that has the spice of danger in it.” Mean Man ‘Ts this the Humane Society?” inquired the feminine voice over the telephone. “That’s right, lady; what’s your problem?” “Well, you must do something! There’s a book agent sitting in the tree in front of our house teasing my dog!” What Else? “What is cowhide chiefly used for?” a teacher asked his class one day. A boy raised his hand. •“I know, sir. To keep the cow together, sir,” was the reply. Mud In Your Eye “My father always proposed a toast before he disciplined me.** “That’s funny. What was itt” “Bottoms up.” DOING HIS BIT When he told his parents he had secured a job at the blacksmith shop, they laughed, and said: “Ypu surely don't mean to tell us that a little fellow like you can shoe horses.” “No,” said the boy, “but I can shoo flies.” ’Taint So Easy An angler who had been trying to hook something for the last six hours was sitting gloomily at his task when a mother and her small son came along. “Oh,” cried out the youngster, “do let me see you catch a fish.” Addressing the angler, the mother said severely: “Now don’t you catch a fish for him until he say* ‘Please.’ ” JUST TO BE SURE “Does she have her own way?” “Does she? Why she writes her diary a week ahead of time.” For a quick lunch spread light ly toasted English muffins with soft yellow cheese, top with tomato or bacon slices, and put under the broiler. If mustard spots washable ma terial, remove by working glycerin into the stain and rubbing lightly between the hands. Then wash the article in soap and water. <r— Rolls that come from the freezer can bfe thawed by placing them in a -300-degree oven from 20 to 30 minutes. > A little almond flavoring goes well with red cherries or with a custard sauce. It’s good, too, in macaroons. « The action of unprotected curlers and bobbie pins pillow cases to we£v out To save your linens tie a colorful ribbon around youi pins. ————— V . Many are the ways cole s may be varied: With a r mWit cream dressing; with car* celery seeds, with paprika a handful of raisins. Leftover meat may and used in a sandwi< into a lunch box. To meat, add a chopped, h* egg and season with salt per and ? little finely-! pulp; moisten with mi I - ft ck; M power ofeml ■ Grand breakfast main dish! Here’s the “power” of corn. Tastes powerfully goodl Crisp, sweet, fresh! Your bargain in goodness— Kellogg’s Corn Flakes. Hi FOR A QUICK AND TASTY J Vr; T ^»ti i tender bed and pork, delicately and delkaously, and smoked the right texture and tenderness. Every sausage invites you to eat another— they’re so tempting and tasty. For ] picnics, any meal. •. ready to— HiA? • 1 A T • IIIJ0Y —— — * The new Mre. William B. Morrie of Dallas. Texas. Dallas Bride says: B B B B^H Cakes with u u 3 minutes mixing Brides (and experts too!) praise Snowdrift is emulsorixed —it Snowdrift’s new, lighter, more blends quickly and completely luscious cakes. You need an with all your cake ingredients emulsorixed shortening to make in just 3 minutes mixing, these cakes so easily. And t x , M m m CHOCOLATE CAKE WITH GINGER ICING Snowdrift is smsilserixsd to bring you success with this quick-method recipe Beat 1 minute. Turn Into 3 Sift together Into a large bowl: 2 cw pa sifted coka Hoar « 1 1% Add: Vi cup Snowdrift At cup mBk Mix enough to dampen flour. Beat 2 minutes. If by hand, count beating time only; with electric mixer, use “low speed.” Scrape bowl often; scrape beat ers after 2 minutes. Add: 2 eggs % cup mBk 2 squares unsweetened chocolate, melted 1 teaspoon vanilla Frost wlth- 6IN6ER ICING: Combine 2 whites. 1ft cups sugar, ft tea* 1 spoon salt. % teaspoon cream of I tartar and % cup water la top of I double boiler over boiling water. Beat with a rotary beater 7 min* utes or until Icing “peaks.” Add 1 teaspoon vantila and K cup 1 chopped crystallized ginger Spread on cake and top with ad- I ditional chopped ginger SNOIVDRIFT Pwq wgRtabls tbortoQlnf for fint bakiog sad frying -«adi ky tbt Wessoa Oil Ptepla