The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, April 21, 1950, Image 7
•••: \y,.'
THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY, S. C.
THE OLD GAFFER
Careful, Colonel!
To disobey a command of a colo
nel is to invite disaster, as many a
green rookie had learned.
One morning on a tour of inspec
tion a colonel stopped at the kitch
en of one of the companies in his
command, where he met two
K.P’a with a large soup kettle.
“Here, you K.P.,** he bellowed.
“Let me taste that soup.*’ One of
the men hurried back after a large
spoon, which he handed respect*
fully to the coloneL
The officer plunged the ladle into
the pot, took a mouthful of the
steaming liquid, and smacked his
lips critically. Then he let out a
howl that could be heard at G.H.Q.
half a mile away.
“Soup, you blasted fool, do you
call that soup?’* he roared.
‘‘No, sir, colonel, that’s just some
dish water we was carrying out.’*
THE BEAL ERROR
' The owner dt a cheap watch
brought it into the jeweler’s shop
to see what could be done for it.
“The mistake I made, of course,”
he admitted, “was in dropping it”
“Well, I don’t suppose you could-
help that,” the jeweler remarked.
**1110 mistake you made was pick
ing it up.”
Fair Play
The two beginners were playing
golf. The next green was 300 yards
away and over numerous hazards.
One shut his eyes and took a
lusty swing. By a freak of chance
he connected with the ball and sent
it sailing for the green. It bounded
directly into the cup for a hole in
one. s
“You’ve made a hole in one, ex
claimed the other in an awed
voice.
MUTT AND JEFF
COME ON, TLl- N; I'm REA!
TEACH YOU HOW
JOFU/J,
WELL-1
[LEARN
FLY v .
IN TE1
EASY .
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fO^! OH! V
THE MOTOR'S
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Jjrl
WHAT
DO WE
DO
NOW?
i JUMP/
* By Bud Fiiher
0H \V BESIDES. THERE'S ^
*
NOT
HERE/
IT'S MUCH
TOO HIGH f
A SIGN DOWN THERE
WHICH SEZ/KEEP OFF
THE GRASS/*
m
JITTER
JtirrfiR TCaOK A RIDE ON TOP OP A CAR.
OmtDVXk. THCATTHOU- producer, and
CAUSED A COT OP EXCITEMENT.. - ✓—v
‘Til wager two to one I could
do it again,” bragged the first.
“Okay,” grunted his friend, “It’s
a wager—but on one condition.”
“Sure,” agreed the confident one.
“What’s the condition?”
“This time,” said the other,
“You’ve got to make the shot with
your eyes open!”
What, a Whole Set?
The millionaire, whose daughter
the young man had just saved, was
insistent that he accept a cash re
ward. Finally, to save an embar
rassing situation, our hero said
casually:
“Well, if you insist, just give me
a golf club.”
A week later he received a tele
gram from the father:
“Have bought for you the West-
end Golfer’s club, and am now ne
gotiating for the Sunnyside Links.”
Nothing Trivial
A teacther was making a strenu
ous effort to get good attendance
In her room. Looking over her class
one morning, she saw that all ex
cept one were in their places.
‘This is fine,” she exclaimed, “all
here except Jimmie Jones; and let
us hope that it is something serious
which keeps him away.”
Only When Necessary
VlfYlDE AND WOOLY By Bat Thomas
"THE PRICE /§ A LITTLE HIGH
_ BUT OUR CARS ARE \<X>% USED/*
* IF GREGORY WANTS TO MAKE
UP, HE KNOWS WHERE TO FIND M£/‘
\
“Dear Teacher,” wrote an Indig
nant mother, “You must not whack
Tommy. He is a delicate child and
isn’t used to it. We never hit him
at home except in self-defense.”
FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS
“Why did you throw the pot of
geraniums at the plaintiff?”
“Because of an advertisement,
your honor.”
“What advertisement?”
** ‘Say it with flowers’.” n
NEW VALUATION
*T see she’s let her hair go
dark again.” x
“Yes—off the geld standard.”
Always Happens
Magistrate: “But why did you
break into the dress shop four
nights running?
Defendant: “I got a new dress
for my wife and she made me go
back and change it three times.”
Better Hurry
“Jim, why don’t you get mar
ried?”
“Well, my trouble is that avery
day I get more particular rad leaa
desirable.”
- .
—
,
JEST
JESTIN'
Humane Act
A farmer, on his way to town in
his wagon, overtook a peddler with
a heavy pack on his back. The
kind-hearted farmer pulled up his
horse and offered the wayfarer a
ride, which was gratefully ac
cepted.
After a while the farmer noticed
that the peddler kept his pack on
his back. “Why don’t you relieve
yourself of that load, and put it in
the back of the wagon?” he asked.
“Well,” said the peddler, “you
have been so kind to me, and I
noticed that your horse did not
seem particularly strong, so I
thought I would take some of the
load myself.”
' KNEW HER GUESTS
Two travelers arrived at the ho
tel and were shown a rather dingy
room.
“What,” said one, “does this pig
sty cost?”
Promptly the proprietor replied:
"For one pig, two dollars; for two
pigs, three dollars.” \
No Overtime
The boss came in early and found
his bookkeeper kissing the steno
grapher.
“Is this whqt I pay for?” ho
asked.
“No, I do this free of charge,”
replied the bookkeeper.
any-
The Hard Way
“Hard work never killed
body,” said the lather.
“That’s just the trouble. Dad,”
returned the son. Just out of college.
“I want to engage in something
that has the spice of danger in it.”
Mean Man
‘Ts this the Humane Society?”
inquired the feminine voice over
the telephone.
“That’s right, lady; what’s your
problem?”
“Well, you must do something!
There’s a book agent sitting in the
tree in front of our house teasing
my dog!”
What Else?
“What is cowhide chiefly used
for?” a teacher asked his class one
day.
A boy raised his hand.
•“I know, sir. To keep the cow
together, sir,” was the reply.
Mud In Your Eye
“My father always proposed a
toast before he disciplined me.**
“That’s funny. What was itt”
“Bottoms up.”
DOING HIS BIT
When he told his parents he had
secured a job at the blacksmith
shop, they laughed, and said:
“Ypu surely don't mean to tell
us that a little fellow like you can
shoe horses.”
“No,” said the boy, “but I can
shoo flies.”
’Taint So Easy
An angler who had been trying
to hook something for the last six
hours was sitting gloomily at his
task when a mother and her small
son came along.
“Oh,” cried out the youngster,
“do let me see you catch a fish.”
Addressing the angler, the mother
said severely: “Now don’t you
catch a fish for him until he say*
‘Please.’ ”
JUST TO BE SURE
“Does she have her own way?”
“Does she? Why she writes
her diary a week ahead of
time.”
For a quick lunch spread light
ly toasted English muffins with
soft yellow cheese, top with
tomato or bacon slices, and put
under the broiler.
If mustard spots washable ma
terial, remove by working glycerin
into the stain and rubbing lightly
between the hands. Then wash the
article in soap and water.
<r—
Rolls that come from the freezer
can bfe thawed by placing them in
a -300-degree oven from 20 to 30
minutes. >
A little almond flavoring goes
well with red cherries or with a
custard sauce. It’s good, too, in
macaroons. «
The action of unprotected
curlers and bobbie pins
pillow cases to we£v out
To save your linens tie a
colorful ribbon around youi
pins.
————— V .
Many are the ways cole s
may be varied: With a r mWit
cream dressing; with car*
celery seeds, with paprika
a handful of raisins.
Leftover meat may
and used in a sandwi<
into a lunch box. To
meat, add a chopped, h*
egg and season with salt
per and ? little finely-!
pulp; moisten with mi
I
-
ft ck; M power
ofeml
■ Grand breakfast main dish!
Here’s the “power” of corn.
Tastes powerfully goodl
Crisp, sweet, fresh! Your
bargain in goodness—
Kellogg’s Corn Flakes.
Hi
FOR A QUICK AND TASTY
J
Vr;
T ^»ti i tender bed and pork,
delicately and delkaously, and smoked
the right texture and tenderness. Every
sausage invites you to eat another—
they’re so tempting and tasty. For ]
picnics, any meal. •. ready to—
HiA? • 1 A T • IIIJ0Y
——
—
*
The new Mre. William B.
Morrie of Dallas. Texas.
Dallas Bride says:
B B B B^H
Cakes with
u
u
3 minutes mixing
Brides (and experts too!) praise Snowdrift is emulsorixed —it
Snowdrift’s new, lighter, more blends quickly and completely
luscious cakes. You need an with all your cake ingredients
emulsorixed shortening to make in just 3 minutes mixing,
these cakes so easily. And t x ,
M
m
m
CHOCOLATE CAKE WITH GINGER ICING
Snowdrift is smsilserixsd to bring you success
with this quick-method recipe
Beat 1 minute. Turn Into 3
Sift together Into a large bowl:
2 cw pa sifted coka Hoar
«
1
1%
Add: Vi cup Snowdrift At cup mBk
Mix enough to dampen flour.
Beat 2 minutes. If by hand,
count beating time only; with
electric mixer, use “low speed.”
Scrape bowl often; scrape beat
ers after 2 minutes.
Add: 2 eggs % cup mBk
2 squares unsweetened
chocolate, melted
1 teaspoon vanilla
Frost wlth-
6IN6ER ICING: Combine 2
whites. 1ft cups sugar, ft tea* 1
spoon salt. % teaspoon cream of I
tartar and % cup water la top of I
double boiler over boiling water.
Beat with a rotary beater 7 min*
utes or until Icing “peaks.” Add
1 teaspoon vantila and K cup 1
chopped crystallized ginger
Spread on cake and top with ad- I
ditional chopped ginger
SNOIVDRIFT
Pwq wgRtabls tbortoQlnf for fint bakiog sad frying
-«adi ky tbt Wessoa Oil Ptepla