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THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY, S. C “Oh—Alvin’s SO stubborn! Even though we’re en gaged, he insists on seeing other women il I go out with other men!” CROSS TOWN Bv Roland Coe “The man who sold me this set of children’s encyclo paedias said you could answer all your own questions. Here—go ahead and DO it.” NANCY By Ernie Buthmiller Becoming Modesty A GIRL from Texas was being prepared for a trip to New York by her mother. Together they had shopped and bought clothes for every possible contingency. New luggage was procured and finally the girl was ready to leave for the station. As she was about to kiss her mother farewell, the mother said: “Now, dear, don't you mention to the folks in New York that you’re from Texas. That would be like talking about money in front of poor people. We mustn’t parade our ad vantages.’’ NO CHANCE TO REST Prisoner—The judge sent me here for the rest of my life. Prison Guard — Got any com plaints? , Prisoner—Do you call breaking rock with a hammer a rest? Not Quite Right “May I have this check cashed, please?” asked the young woman of the paying, teller. “Of course, madam,” the teller replied. "Just endorse it please.” "Must I endorse it?” she asked, apparently puzzled. “I’m Mrs. Smith, you know. My husband is out of the city and mailed the check to me.” “Yet, it must he endorsed. Sign it on the back, please, and Mr. Smith will know we paid it to you.” Mrs. Smith took her pen from her purse and passed the check back to the teller endorsed: “Your devoted wife, Ethel.” Wet Road to Heaven Along the upper reaches of the Big Sandy, Brother Scanlan was a Free Baptist preacher of force and good deeds. One spring, he held a revival meeting and gathered many converts to the fold. When the time for baptizing came the ice had not gone out, so Brother Scanlan broke the ice and waded into the water, followed by his first candidate. Un fortunately the latter was a large man and when the good preacher ducked him the man slipped under the ice and floated away down the river. Undismayed, Baptizer Scan lan turned to the crowd on the bank, lifted his head and cried, “One brother gone to glory. Hallelujah! Amen—Next! ” FAIR PLAY The golf match to end all golf matches was played up in Heaven by St. Peter and St. Paul. St. Peter had the honor on the first tee and promptly made a hole in one. St. Paul, undaunted, repreated the per formance. St. Peter marked the scores down dutifully on his card, then remarked, "What do you say, Paul? Let’s cut out the miracles and get down to business.” Always Something The old mountaineer was sound asleep on the porch. He awoke sleepily as his barefoot son was shaking the daylights out of him. “Dinner is ready, paw,” he an nounced. The mountaineer finally opened his eyes. “Whut are yer talkin' about?” he drawled. "Didn’t I jest eat awhile ago?” “Sure, Paw,” nodded the boy. ‘But thet was breakfast. This time It’s dinner.” The weary father arose. “Dog gone,” he grumbled. “If it ain’t one thing, it’s another!” Getting Back “Sure the list price of the din ner is two dollars,” said the wait er blandly to the new car sales man, “but the flowers on the ta ble bring it to $3.75.” An Exception It had been one of the best feuds in years and feeling had been fanned high all over the mountain region. Now, a jury was being selected to decide the winner’s fate. • A bewhiskered prospective juror was asked, "Have you formed any opinion as to the guilt or innocence of this defendant?” "I ain’t. Sir.” “Do you object to capital punish ment?” ‘No sir-ee,” was the prompt reply, "not in this case, I don’t!” SEWING CIRCLE PATTERNS juniors '^avor y o L Style School jtH' Ijirl oj 6 to 14 Accentuates Youth ' I 'HIS stunning yoke dress is a -*■ favorite with the junior crowd. Four buttons close each shoulder —the wide girdle shows off a love ly youthful figure to perfection. Pattern No. 1472 is for sizes 11, 12, 13, 14, 16 and 18. Size 12, 3>/ a yards of 35 or 39-inch; 1 yard ric rac to trim. 8179 5 6-14 yr». Easy to Sew A SWEETLY styled school dress 1 ^ for the girl of six to fourteen. So simple and easy to sew she can make it herself with a little help from Mother. Two sleeves are provided, making it suitable for different occasions. Pattern No. 8179 comes in sizes 6, 8. 10, 12 and 14 years. Size 8, 2V\ yards of 39-inch for either sleeve. Send your order to: SEWING CIRCLE PATTERN DEPT. 530 South Wells St. Chicago 7, 111. Enclose 25 cents in coins for each pattern desired. Pattern No -Size- Name Address- \ ASK ME 7 A quiz with answers offering ? ? ANOTHER: information on various subjects | O- O- o— O- <W O— O- O- O— O- O— O- O- O- O- O- O- O— O— O- O- O— O— (V. (V. O- The Questions 1. Was “Casey” of “Casey at the Bat” a real person? 2. Which drew more spectators last year, horse racing or big league baseball? 3. Is there any water in Death Valley? 4. What would a cubic foot of gold be worth? 5. When was the treasury de partment’s “conscience fund” started? 6. Is there any real electricity in an electric eel? 7. What is the average age of our U. S. senators? 8. How cold does it get at the equator? 9. Do people actually shed “crocodile tears”? 10. What is George C. Marshall’s salary as secretary of state? The Answers 1. Yes, David M. Casey. While playing with the National league Phillies in 1888, he inspired Ernest Thayer to write the poem. 2. Racing drew 26,000,000, while baseball drew 19,000,000. 3. Yes. Water veins have been found in numerous sections, con taining desert minnows, relics of the days when Death Valley was the bottom of a great inland sea. 4. Well over half a million dol lars. 5. In 1811, when $250 was re ceived from a man who explained that he came by the funds illegal ly. To date, Americans have sent in more than $1,000,000. 6. Yes, an adult eel can deliver as much as 500 volts. 7. The average age is 56.3 years. Five are over 75, 3 are under 40 years of age. 8. About 56 degrees below zero at the top of Mt. Kenja in Central Africa. 9. Yes, weeping for no emotion al reason is fairly common. The Journal of the American Medical Association reports two persons who wept whenever they ate their dinner. 10. Because it is illegal for an in dividual to accept two federal pay checks at the same time, Marshall has waived his $15,000 yearly sal ary as secretary of state. As a retired general of the army he re ceives $15,751 yearly for life. Mrs. Mark Twain All of Mark Twain’s manu scripts were edited by his wife. So, perhaps the famous humorist’s wife put some of the finishing touches to such charming book characters as Aunt Polly, Tom Sawyer, and even the incompara ble Huckleberry Finn. Well, “two heads are better than one,” the old saying goes. GRAH DM A SPEARIN'... BEFORE YOU START com plainin’ about in-laws, try to re member that you’re one.* Ur* WHEN AUNT AGATHA wants her cakes and pies to be extra- ood, she won’t use nuthin’ but a able-Grade margarine. Fer the best bakin’, she sez, you gotta uso a shortenin’ that tastes good. Taste yer shortenin’ the next time you bake. US’ THERE AIN’T NOTHIN’ quite so feeble as the laugh of the per son who’s just heard the joke he’d been waitin’ to tell.* THEM TWO WORDS—"Table- Grade”—sure tell a heap o’ things ■bout Nu-Maid Margarine. Yep, Nu-Maid Margarine is made ’spe cially fer the table. As fine a spread as money kin buy. will be paid upon publica tion to the first contributor of each accepted saying or idea for “Grandma Speakin’.” Address Nu- Maid Margarine, Cincinnati 2, O. Table-Grade MARGARINE DON’T LET A DULL SAW WEAR YOU OUT Right now is the time to replace that old worn blade on your bow or buck saw. The Bushman Blade is amazingly fast... has the speed of a 2-man saw . . . smooth cutting . . . stays sharp longer. 3 types. Lengths 24, 30, 36, 42, and 48 inch. AT LEADING HARDWARE STORES REPLACE NOW WITH BUSHMAN ScoexUiA. Steel SAW BLADES ^ GENSCO TOOL DIV.'^I G*n*ralStoolWorwhouf•Co.,ln<. 1830 N.Kostner Avo* Chicago 39 BUBBLE CHAMPS CHEW Bjig ; -and parents approve this laboratory-pure; ‘ foil-wrapped, quality bubble gum! Bobby Patenaude, who won a fielder's glove in recent con^sst says: “For the highest batting average as a bubble blower—pick BUB!**.. . And his mother, Mrs. J. H. Patenaude, says: “Smart parents will be influenced by the fact that BUB has won the coveted PARENTS* MAGAZINE ‘Guarantee* Seal.** BUB meets all Pure Food requirements! It's made entirely in the U.S.A. — under the most sanitary conditions! 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