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# THE NEWBERRY SUN. NEWBERRY, S. C. CROSS TOWN By Roland Coe “I’m afraid I’ll have to apologize for the mulligan. Today’s a MEATLESS day y’ know!’’ “For the last time, Alvin—where were you when I was ready to go?” SALESMANSHIP A hawker, his truck filled with paper and envelopes, was yelling, "Here y’are! Box o’ paper an’ 25 envelopes on’y one dime!” Another hawker, crowding the first out of the way, shouted as he pushed a bigger truck: “Five cents—box o’ paper an’ 25 envelopes! Only one nickel!” The two men glared at each other. The spirit of competi tion ran high. Finding the two kinds of paper identical, people bought the cheaper. The more the dime man shouted, the more of his rival’s stock people bought. Finally sales ceased. Everybody had bought enough to last a year. The dime man departed first, the nickel man a few minutes later. The dime man, waiting around the comer piled his stock on the other’s nearly empty truck and said with a chuckle, “It works fine, Bill, don’t it?” GOING TOO FAR A fellow was sitting on a park bench asleep and there were about 25 flies on his nose. He woke up, looked at the flies and was too lazy to brush them off, so he fell asleep again. Finally a bee came along and stung him right on the nose. He woke up with a start and said, “There’s always got to be a smart aleck in the crowd. Just for that, everybody off!” MUTT AND JEFF By Bud Fi«her JITTER By Arthur Pointer REG’LAR FELLERS By Gene Byrnes A Bunch of Lilies Monty Woolley, the man with the razorless beard and the razor-edged tongue, looked as if he had suffered a change of heart as he came beaming into a hotel with a stunning bouquet of flowers. He said to the manager: “These flowers are for the phene girls.” Overcome by such graciousness, the manager burst out: “Oh, thank you, sir. You compliment our serv ice.” Woolley’s eye transfixed him on an icy dagger. “Compliment, nothing!” he bawled. “I thought they were all dead.” Quick Thinking A film actor and his wife were seated in a secluded corner of their club. The wife had a tongue like a shrew and was berating her hus band in no uncertain terms. Unnoticed by her, a party of ac quaintances approached within ear shot, just as she delivered herself of this: “You mean skunk! Of all the slimy snakes I think you are the worst. You’re just a cheap skate!” Noticing the people who had just arrived, the husband, who deserves a medal for tact, said: “Quite right, my dear; and what else did you say to him?” Caught On Quickly Three-year-old Nancy was a radio fan. Nancy listened with rapt atten tion to everything—music, speeches and station announcements. One night she knelt to say her pray ers. At the end she paused a mo ment and then said: “Tomorrow night at this time there will be another prayer.” INVITATION ACCEPTED Stern father (sarcastically): “Say young man, it’s past midnight. Do you think you can stay here all night?” “Gosh!” exclaimed the innocent young man, “I’ll have to telephone mother first.” VIRGIL By Len Kleis SILENT SAM By Jeff Hayes Not Guilty With a grinding of brakes, an army officer pulled up at the side of the road. “Say, sonny,” he called to a small boy standing nearby, “have you seen an airplane come down near here?” “No, sir,” declared the boy de fensively, hiding his slingshot behind his back. “I’ve just been shooting at a bottle.” A Bit Crowded Severely jostled in the thundering herd of New York’s subway rush hour, a fragile young lady was final ly crammed among the standees. Her sense of humor was not im paired, however. She poked her face close to the ear of an adjoining male. “Look, she demanded tartly, : “my rib—is it crushing your el- 1 bow?” Time Makes Changes An old man one day neglected to assist his wife into the street car. “John,” she said reprovingly, “you are not so gallant as when you were a boy.” To which he replied, “No, and you are not so buoyant as when you were a gal.” T NEEDLECRAFT PAHERNS Smart Cross-Stitch for Linens C'MBKOIDER these fruits in nat- ^ ural colors on dining linens. It’s just cross-stitch but it looks like gingham applique; use on scarfs, too. Lemon and orange skins can be grated and used for flavoring in cakes, puddings and other des serts. —•— When best linens get worn, cut around weak areas and insert cro cheted motifs in other spots. They’ll look as if they were intend ed sp. —•— Moths will not remain in rugs Which are sponged at intervals with hot water to which a little vinegar has been added. -—•— When buying needles, choose those with a smooth finished eye and smooth, sharp point. Thread won’t fray as easily and point won’t catch in the fabric as you sew. —•— Fill a bowl with fresh water and In it drop a few drops of house hold ammonia. If allowed to stand overnight, the mixture will rid the room of the odor of tobacco smoke. Do this cross-stitch in two shades of a color or varied colors. Pattern 836 has transfer of nine motifs 2Vi by ZVj to 15 by 15 inches; stitches. Due to an unusually large demand and current conditions, slightly more time is required in filling orders for a few of the most popular pattern numbers. Send your order to: Sewing Circle Needlecraft Dept. 564 W. Randolph St. Chicago 80, 111. Enclose 20 cents for Pattern. No.- Name- Address- Before Auto, Many Queer Vehicles Were Developed For 200 years before the first steam automobile was built in 1770, a number of strange me chanical vehicles were developed in Europe. Several were propelled by one or two men who tufned the axles with treadles or winches; while others employed sails or kites. But the oddest of all these cars had its wheels geared to a windmill erected on its roof. KID O’SULLIVAN SAYS 'Get O'Sullivan SOUS as well as Heels next time you have your shoes repaired. EASY DOES IT UP mu or dows: Kool-Aid M0R0LINE I SAFETY 1 QUALITY PETROLEUM How to CHANGE A TIRE AT NIGHT... More Quickly— More Safely! I Few motorists can changa a tire at night with top speed, efficiency —and safety! Night tire-changing can be hazardous —but "Eveready” flashlights can reduce the danger. First principle, says the Ameri can Automobile Assn, is. -I 2 Park off the highway if you can possibly do so. Next best place is on a straight stretch of road. 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