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THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY. S. C. Notes of a Newspaperman: Londoners relayed this one via D. Chandler . . . About the luncheon rendezvous between the King and General Eisenhower, during which His Majesty turned to the General and remarked: “What do you think of Montgomery?” Eisenhower paused and then re plied: “He’s a great military genius, but frankly I often have the feeling he’s trying to get my job.” “Oh, really?” said King George. “I’m glad to hear that.” “How do you mean,” Ike asked, “you’re glad?” “Well,” answered the King be tween giggles, “to tell the truth I’ve been a little worried about the same thing, myself!” If this George Bernard Shaw sally has been printed, it eluded us. Ten- nyrate, at his last birthday he told newspapermen: “Yes, I am now 88 and I haven’t an enemy in the world, not one enemy!” “A beautiful thought,” responded a reporter. “Yep,” added Shaw, "I’ve outlived them all!” At a Hollywood gathering the oth er night Donald Ogden Stewart made a talk on the brave new world. He told the story of the little boy whose Sunday school teacher asked who made him. The boy replied: ■“I’m not done yet. I plan to have a part in making myself.” Joe Alger is the chief copywriter of Life promotion . . . With others on the staff Alger was figuring out a new slogan for Fortune . . . For tune, they all agreed, was changing in character and it should also have a new slogan . . . His clown sug gestion got a howl, to wit: "Although Fortune is only half the size of the phone directory—it is twice as in teresting!'’ Mark Ethridge, the Louisville newspaperman, and his wife recent ly had Vice President Wallace as their house guest . . . Mrs. Ethridge recruited the entire family to help dust off things, wash every window, etc. . . . After two days of house cleaning, Mrs. Ethridge cautioned the children: “Remember now, Mr. Wallace is a very simple man.” “Well, if he is," groaned the tini est of the Ethridges, “then all I can say is that we’ve done a lotta un necessary work!” It happened in the Stork Club . . . Two handsome young Army lieuten ants walked in and table-for-two’d across the way from where a Major was seated with a charming young thing . . . The wolves decided to try and meet her—but how? . . . They scribbled a note to the Major, hoping he would be flattered by it— and send for them . . . The note read: “We wish, sir, you would set tle something for us. We are seated across the way. My friend says you impress him as being a lawyer in civilian life. I say you have the manner and poise of a dignified doc tor.” The Major enjoyed the flattery for a moment but after noting their handsome features and youth, sent back this message: “I was neither a doctor nor a lawyer as a civilian. As a matter of fact, I was a taxi dermist and I fully intend to pre serve this pigeon for myself!” Lint From a Blue Serge Suit: Mme. Chiang Kai-shek walked out because his first wife is living in the house . . . Tax experts point out that Frank Sinatra’s income of $1,450,000 will net him little more than $25,000 . . . The Dep’t of Jus tice is insisting it be consulted on the legality of any peace treaties. A movement has started to deco rate Bob Hope, Jack Benny and oth ers who have gone overseas with the boys . . . Ben Swig, a Boston realty man, bought the St. Francis Hotel (Sam Francisco) for 4% mill. He paid $750,000 in cash. Four days later ne sold half interest for that sum. In short, he owns a 4% mil lion dollar hotel for the price of a round trip ticket to the coast. The G-Men have a complaint about a musician in a symphony orchestra. He allegedly refuses to play the National Anthem and curses it. Baseball is the only enterprise that hasn’t raised its prices . . . His friends are urging a high diplo matic post for Mayor LaGuardia . . . Knopf will get James Stevens’ new manuscript, said to be a master piece. He gave Paul Bunyan to American literature. William A. Lydgate, editor of the Gallupoll (his book, “What America Thinks,” is due on the 26th), offers this to show what Americans think about Germany. Not long ago they took a poll asking people how they thought Hitler should be treated aft er the war. Practically everybody wanted him hanged, shot or impris oned indefinitely. There were a lot of ingenious suggestions from the public. A San Francisco school teacher said: “Have somebody read bis own speeches back to him day and night until he goes nuts.’’ AXfHO is the top fighter in the v v world, pound for pound? This query covers many years, in addi tion to the present calendar. On the human side our selection has always been Harry Greb—a 160- pound whirlwind who in ring contests or training periods practically wrecked such stars as Gene Tunney, Jack Demp sey, Tom Gibbons and Jack Dillon. I am referring to the Greb that had two eyes, when he first wrecked Tun ney and Gibbons and when he com pletely bewildered Jack Dempsey with his speed in a training spot. My friend Frank Back goes on be yond Greb or Stan Ketchel, Joe Cans or the pick of the human lot. Buck nominates the Wolverine—a 35 or 40-pound terror from Michigan and a few other northern midwest- ern states. “The Wolverine, pound for pound, is the world’s gamest and greatest fighter,” Buck says. “The Badger is tough, but not quite that tough. You know even a 250-pound bear doesn’t match any part of the Wolverine—who is not only fast and strong, but who likes to fight. I can’t think of any animal who won’t give the Wolverine the right of way. What he could do to a 100-pound police dog wouldn’t even be close. I can’t think of a dog that a 35-pound Wolverine wouldn’t wreck in a few minutes.” Our knowledge of Wolverines had been largely limited to Michigan football teams. These also haven’t been any too soft. But they haven’t quite been able to match their name sakes since a team known as Minne sota’s Gophers have annoyed them no little in recent years. In animal parlance the Gopher is no great killer. But he is something different on a football field. I asked Dr. Buck just why a Wol verine is so tough. “Every part of him is tough," Frank said, “includ ing teeth, claws, and especially heart.” Worlds Best Fighter I tried to pin Buck down to nam ing the world’s greatest fighting ani mal. THE POSTWAR FURNACE The postwi-r world is going to give a break to the man who tends a furnace. The job is going to be no more trouble than switching the dial on a radio. • The furnace of tomorrow will '’Ot ;ake up much more room than f3 electric toaster. * Science and engineering, with all their wonders, have neglected the furnace. It is what it has always been, a huge, cumbersome, awe some, space-hogging apparatus full of temperament. That frustrated, broken look on the faces of countless Americans is due to furnace respon sibilities. ♦ Shaking it down and removing the ashes has made ipany a man hate cellars, northern ^inters and the discoverer of coal. • But at last something has been done about it, and a furnace per fected that will be a thing of beauty and joy all winter. It is heralded as a robot-heatwave, a jet-heater, a jeep furnace. » You can carry it home under your arm. Its special appeal is that it leaves no ashes, has no grate, requires no shaking and is as self-operating as an oil burner. * It is, in fact, the coal industry’s answer to the oil furnace. The oil industry has been battering the coal industry around for years with out getting much opposition, but a battle is ahead. • The Anthracite Industries incor porated is the popper of the new demi tasse self-operating furnace. It only takes up a space two feet by two feet and is a simple device con sisting of a couple of gears, a blow er, a water pump and some blades which chop up the coal as it is automatically fed into the fire box. • It produces a terrific flame in a few seconds and is guaranteed to have mom yelling “Turn off that heat!” instead of squawking "Hor ace, you’d better look at the fur nace again. You opened the drafts two hours ago and nothing’s hap pened yet.” Grantland Rice SEWING CIRCLE PATTERNS Pretty and Comfortable Frock A Smart Collarless Cardigan A S PRETTY as they come—and as comfortable as any yet de signed, a frock with a wide-shoul dered effect which is achieved by the subtle placing of the two rows of frill which ends neatly under a velvet bow at the waistline. • * • Pattern No. 8683 Is in sizes 12, 14, 16, 18 and 20. Size 14, short sleeves, requires 3lfc yards of 39-inch material. For this attractive pattern, send 25 cents in coins, with your name, address, pattern number and size. Smart Two-Piecer '"pHE smartest of the high-priced suits are collarless—and Amer ican women will take this cardi gan fashion to their hearts instant ly! You just can’t have too many separate cardigan jackets, suits and two-piecers in this style. • e e P-ttern No. 8660 is in sizes 34. 36. 38. 40. 42, 44, 46 and 48. Size 36, short sleeves, re quires 4 yards of 39-inch material; lb yard contrast for collar. SEWING CIRCLE PATTERN DEPT. 530 South Wells St. Chic a so Enclose 23 cents in coins for each pattern desired. Pattern No Size Name Address a IT PAYS BIG * y* if In a recent survey, farmers re ported that inoculation of legume seed with NITRAGIN (1) gives bigger yields, (2) makes faster, earlier growth, (3) helps get a better stand, (4) gives more vigor to fight weeds and drought. NITRAGIN helps legumes add up to 123 lbs. of nitrogen to the soil per acre. INOOULATE VETCH; CLOVER. WINTER PEAS WITH MITRASIH It pays to Inoculate every planting of vetch, alfalfa, clovers, winter peas, other legumes with NITRA GIN. It costs only a few cents an acre and takes only a few minutes to mix with the seed. It’s the oldest, most widely used inoculant. Look for it in the yellow can at dealers. Writs for free legume booklets. C D C C Write for helpfsl booklets eboet ■ “ c E toll balMinf . . . How to srow batter telaeies. Address below. I m KlIAM C8, 38M l lata St. ASPIFtl! EORirt URSEST SEUER U Ht /'"A REALLY FINE TEA^ . ORANGE PEKOE & PEICOE / ■P€fl r l t ■ CORN FLAKES ] "The Orals* ate Or eat Foede”— •Kellogg’s Corn Flalms bring you nearly all the protective rood elements of the whole grain declared essential to human nutrition. This naturally leaves the human out unless you give him a gun. The human is a rather puny animal when he isn’t armed. Twenty or thirty animals would outclass him on even teims. Among the best of the animal breed Mr. Buck includes the ele phant, the gorilla, the tiger, the lion, the leopard, the grizzly and the big python. “The elephant is Just too big,” he says. “But one of the greatest fights ever known would be between a tiger or a lion thrown against the grizzly bear. They would be well- matched in weight. The grizzly is much stronger than either a tiger or a lion. He Isn’t as quick but ho has a thick, protecting'coating of hair around the throat. But either a tiger or a lion would have to get him in a hurry or lose the decision. And I don’t think either could get him In a hurry.” “What about the grizzly, lion or tiger against a big python?” I asked. Buck had brought back a python that measured 29 feet. “You may remember,” he said, "that in the python-tiger fight pic ture I made, the python was on the winning side. I wouldn’t want to bet on any animal against a big python. I saw one kill a leopard in just a few seconds.” Gorillas Tough, Too Then we began talking about Gar- gantua, the big circus gorilla. How would he come out against any thing except an elephant? Mr. Buck admitted that Gargan- tua would be something to stop. Big, powerful, fast and vicious—some 600 pounds of dynamite — Gargantua would be no pushover against tiger, lion or grizzly. We are offering these vital statis tics to those who keep asking how Louis and Dempsey, or how Tunney and Corbett would come out in a swinging joust. Our answer is that Louis, Demp sey, Tunney and Corbett would be completely outclassed by any griz zly, lion, tiger, gorilla, python or king cobra in any hand-to-hand or fang-to-fang collision. Gene Tunney still thinks that a good fighter can lick a gorilla. I don’t think Greb, Tunney, Dempsey and Louis together could handle Gargantua. There is practially no cleaning to be done. The old man can give it an annual renovating with an old tooth brush, a nail file and an eye drop- It will be in production as soon as Hitler and Tojo are disposed of. • Swell!’Now we have the furnace of the future all attended to. * But how can we get the coal of the present? Private Purkey Nears the Reich Dear Harriet— Well, I am not sure where I am now on account of the armies in France don’t stop long enough even to look at the signposts, but if I ain’t in Germany I am close. Uncle Sam has got a new secret weapon. It is a jet-propelled G. I. We are moving so fast, Harriet, that wind shields should now be compulsory equipment for foot soldiers. * I would not be able to write this letter except we have just slowed down to 30 miles an hour. I don’!, know what we slowed down for but Sergeant Mooney says it was on ac count of we had to send some scouts about 100 miles to locate General Patton. * It has been almost like a sightsee ing tour with me the last few weeks and I seen a thousand places where Hitler once slept and most of the towns where the Nazi supermen once stood. It looks to me like the Kraut is the fastest folding soldier in history. » I seen thousands of captured Nazis in the last couple of weeks and I ain’t seen a goosestep in a a carload. Anybody who says Ger many will never surrender on our terms is nuts. The ones I been see ing will surrender for a drink of wa ter and a cool place to Jay down. « This liberation business is nice but it is too fast for cumfort. I would rather of liberated a little slower so we could get time to buy at least a postcard in some of them famous French and Belgium places. But if a G. I. stops to tie his shoe lace here he becomes AWOL. All my love, Oscar. Best Football Teams “Which section of the country on a general average produces the stronger football teams?” This is one of the favorite queries you get from service mail where men from every section are thrown together around the world. This in cludes the East, the Midwest, the South, the Southwest, and the Far West. My guess would be the Midwest, Which includes the Big Nine and Notre Dam*), “Officials of the New York stock exchange announce that the spread ing of rumors about stocks must be stopped.”—News item. Wanna bet? » nagine stopping rumors on the :k exchange! Lots of people i’t buy a stock unless a few lors are thrown in with it. “It’s I ever get for my money,” com- ned Elmer Twitchell today. “If lust choose between stocks and mrs, gimme rumors.” „ I his is NO dreamed-UP headline—no “tone poem” conceived on an inspired typewriter. It’s the way the army explains the command “Fix bayonets—chargel”j Only the Infantry has it put to them in these words. As one doughboy said: Til remember those eleven words the rest of my life.” > ■ Remember? How can he forget them? They describe the climax of the Infantryman’s assault—they describe the most cold-blooded action on a battle field. Yet Infantry officers and men have advanced, countless times, to kill or be killed... at Saratoga... at New Orleans... the Argonne... New Guinea... 1 Salerno. There’s no rescinding of this order—no retreating—no nothing but plain killing. Right now, the men of the Infantry are closing in for the final kill They’re advancing every day—advancing to the order of “kill or be killed.’’ Remember this the next time you see a doughboy on furlough. Remember this the next time you almost forget to write that letter. Remember it till your dying day. You can’t pay the doughboy back—but at least you can be forever mindful of his role in this fight for freedom. Weep your eye on the Infantry—THE DOUGHBOY DOES IT!" ) V.