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DUST IN OUR EYES. fW> At Time? Collect ( nrloaa Thiaflr* Without Lookln-f For Them. Few people nre nwnre, says Fred W. Hnxby In the Strand Mn-putlne, that we nre nil constantly "collecting" curi ous thiugs without looking for them: In tho very act of looking up at tho fleeting spectacle of n nery orb the reader with the big, wide open eyes may easily receive in ono of hin own orbs a tiny sphere from nfnr that was produced in a glowing streak of light like the one he Is admiring. Meteoric dust is ever falling and up on nil parts of our planet. The little nphcres have been found upon tho decks of ships far out nt sea, In nil the deserts of tho earth and on the tops of snow clad mountains. Dredg ings brought up from the silent depths of tho ocean glvo testimony of their universal prosence. Tho particles all contain iron and aro easily collected by the magnet from the roof of any outhouRe or other placo exposed di rectly to the sky. Seafarers aro sometimes petted with dust of quite a different kind, compos ed of the microscopic flinty skeletons of beautiful plants called "diatoms." These tiny plants live In both salt nnd fresh water and occur in enor mous numbers in soino 1centitles. Oc casionally water courses and inundat ed areas dry up, and the flinty shells of the diatoms which grew there are blown about as dust. Thero are sev eral instances on record of dlatoma ceous dust falls at sea. During the thickest part of the fall tho Bailors have exporlenccu much pain in their eyes, the luflnuimatlou being caused by the little flinty shells. Almost Too I.nto. Colonel McSchwartz was telling the caller how wonderfully tho town had grown. "Why, when I moved hero with my wife nnd daughter twenty-sev"? "Papa," Interposed Miss McSchwnrtr., "there's a mosquito on your neck. Let mo pinch it off." "Ouch!" exclaimed tho colonel. "As I was saying, when wo moved here, quite a number of years ngo," etc.? Chicago Tribune. A DIFFERENCE IN NAME8. Sonar Order? That Pnaalrri the New York rieh Dealer. Tho flsh market man glanced at the retreating llgure. of a lean, lank cus tomer and reinnrkcd: "I wish that fel low would learn to talk United States. He comes In hore and says. 'Have you any squlteague?* and after awhile I find out he wnuts wenknsh. Then one day he ordered a horse mnckorcl, nnd I had to send for a Ictlonnry before I found out that he wanted hluefish. i Where did he come from? New Eng land, he says, and culls things by tho names they do down there. "Strange that n few miles should make such a difference in fish names. Why, when he wants a blacklist) he calls for tautnug nnd orders quuhungs when he wants clams. He Is almost as bad as an Englishman who came Into n meat market where I workod once and nnked us if wo had any sa vory duck, 'llils Is no poultry shop,' said 1. 'I know It,' replied he. 'Then why do you ask for duck?' said I. What do you suppose ho wanted? Nothing In the world but hog's pluck, or pig's liver, as tho overreflned call It."?New York Tress. Conprriilnn SeM-tlekneer?. Two congressmen, discussing the dis comforts of travel, happened to branch off on to the subject of seasickness. One of them said: I "Talk about seasickness, the fellow that traveled with mo on my last Euro pean trip beat anything I evor met In nil of my experience before. I tried nil sorts of remedies ou him, but without avail. He kept repeating, 'Oh, I am so sick, I am so sick.' "Finally I cried out, 'Can't you keep anything on your stomach?' " 'Only my hands, Tom, only my hands.' "?Harper's Weekly. Mn'rlmonr nnd Theology. Matrimony should end all doctrinal quibbles. If the man happen to be born a pagan and the woman some thing else, let them compromise their differences and become, both of them, of the same faith. l*et them cast lots if there be no other way.?From "The Bishop's Niece," by George H. Picard. STAGE REALISM. Why Jo* Jefforaom Didn't Hat? m Ken i Dog 8ohntM?r. It wos tho prlvllego of tho writer years ngo to attend a reception at which Joseph Jefferson spoke on the drnma. Ills treatment of tho subject was Interesting, the utterance of a man who know tho art of which he spoko. But tho most Interesting part of tho hour came after the completion of the formal address, when an oppor tunity was given to the audience to ask any questions they wished of Mr. JefferHon. Soon the familiar topic was introduced, tho effect of tho modern elaboration and realism In stage set ting. Mr. Jefferson at once rose to the question. He spoke somewhat rapidly, with n quaint humor and sympathetic charm that were Irresistible. He clmr ncterticd the modern fashion of Stage Hctt.iig as "a tribute to the weakness of the human Imagination." "I am of ten naked," he went on, "why I do not have a real dog Schneider. But If I did none of you woulu l?o satisfied. You would go home saying, 'Well, Schnei dtr never looked like that dog!' You love Schneider because you have made, him out of a piece of ynr.r own heart. And then," meditatively, "If I bad a real Schneider some one In the gallery would probably whistle to him at the critical moment, and he would hark and spoil tho play. While if he know his part perfectly and did Just what (Schneider ought to do"?pausing and with his delightful smile -"Schneider would bo the hero and not Itlp!" Then, with a twinkle of the eye, he summed up the wholo matter with the quiet re mark, "Realism with a tall to wag lu the wrong place Is a dangerous thing." -New York Post. Comtnjr Around. Mrs. Cuff roy?And how Is that pret ty young widow? Is sho reconciled to her loss yet? Mrs. Malaprop?No, she nhVt exactly reconciled yet, but they do say she's got tho man picked out. And Wnr Continued. Miss Goodley -Hess says she's ready to make up If you are. Miss Cutting Tell her I'd be ready to make up too If I had a complexion as muddy as hers.?Philadelphia Ledger. Does Appearance Count With You? Do you desire that exclusive quality in tailoring attained only by big city style creators who are in touch with the newest ideas in fabrics and fashions? This indescribable element of style, richness and exquisite taste is shown in every garment we produce. We are an extensive and well-known firm of merchant tailors, making to measure only, with representatives all over the country. The scope of our business permits the carrying of a stock of more than 500 varieties?the newest importations and the highest grade of domestic goods. It also permits the employment of expert cutters and tailors. Cut, fit and finish are irreproachable. If you desire the highest quality of tailoring service at moderate price, it will pay you to investigate the Hays System?the "Modern Method." Our new Fall and Winter styles in suitings and overcoatings are unusually attractive. If we have no representative in your city, write us direct. L. E. HAYS & CO., Cincinnati, Ohio. Hard, Soft or Shop COAL Brick and Draying Wanted?1,000 Cords of Oak and Pino Wood on cars your station or delivered at Laurens. J. W. Eichelberger. Laurens, S. C. 'Phone H. Terry's Charleston & Western Carolina Railway. (Schedule in effect April 16, 1906.) No. 2 Daily Lv Laursns 1:60 pm Ar Greenwood 2- 46 41 Ar Augusta 5:20 44 Ar Anderson 7:10 " No. 42 Daily Lv Augusta 2:35 pm ArAllendale 4:30 " Ar Fairfax 4:41 44 Ar Charleston 7:40 " Ar Beauford 6:30 14 Ar Port Royal 6:40 44 Ar Savannah 6:45 " Ar Waycross 10: 00 44 No.i Daily Lv Laurens 2:07 pm1 Ar Spartanburg 3:30 44 No. 62 No. 87 Daily Ex. Sudday Lv Laurens 2: 09 pm 8: 00 am Ar Greenville 3:25 44 10:20 44 Arrivals:?Train No. 1, Daily, from Augusta and intermediate stations 1: 45 pm; No. 52, daily, from Greenville and in termediate stations 1:35pm; No.87,daily, except Sunday, from Greenville and intermediate stations 6: 40 pm; train No. 2, daily, from Spartanburg and interm ediate stations 1: 30 p m. C. H. Gasque, Agt., Laurens, S. C. G. T. Bryan GenM Agt. Greneville S.C. Ernest Williams, Gen. Pass. Agt., Auguata, Ga, T. M. Emerson, Traffic Manager. Times in South Carolina are Showing Itself in Fleecy Cotton Staple at 10 cts per pound and a bright outlook for higher heights in the near future, in the face of all this we now own our stocks of Merchrndise on a basis of 7^cts cotton which we will give our customers the benefit of in this season's Goods. We have Worth of General Merchandise now Ready for Your Inspection consisting of Clothing, Hats, Caps, Shoes, Hosiery, Underwear, Pants, Shirts, Collars, Cuffs, Ties, Suspenders, Work Shirts, Overalls, Dry Goods, Millinery, Ribbons, Laces, Embroideries, Dress Goods, Flannels, Jeans' Calicoes, Ginghams, Bleached Muslins, Ticking, Cheviots, Plaids, Sea Islands, Shirtings, Drills, Curtain Scrim, Counterpanes, Quilts, Blankets, Window Shades Lace Curtains, Curtain Poles, Table Covers, Pillow Shams, Handkerchiefs, Gloves, Umbrellas, Towels, Napkins, Chair Tidies, Bureau and Mantle Scarfs, Crepe Paper, Sta tionery, Jewelry, Watches, Clocks, Spectacles, Silverware, Cutlery for Table and Pocket, Ladies' Underskirts and Dress Skirts, Jackets and Cloaks. Full Line of Standard Patent Medicines, Notions and Novelties, Laundry Soaps, Toilet Soaps. Perfumes, Brushes, Ball Cotton and Spool Cotton, Etc. ------ Don't Hiss Seeing Bargains in the Basement! Tin, Glass, Crockery, Chinaware, Enameledware, Lanterns, Lamps, Earthware, Novelties and Racket Goods, Trunks, Suit Cases, Table Oil Cloth, Buggy and Team Whips, Rugs, Matting, Art Squares 9x12 feet, Wall Paper, Bibles and Testaments, Sugar, Coffee, Rice, Soap, Soda, Hatches, Baking Powders, Gold Dust, Cigars, Chewing Tobacco, Candy, Chewing Gum. Visit our Store, Inspect our Stock. We have Nine Sales People now ready to wait on you, and if it should be necessary we will put on nine more to wait on you. Come, bring the whole family along and see through Bargaindom. Six Special Bargain Days Each Week at Burns' Famous Department Store Red Iron Racket WHOLESALE AND RETAIL