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CUNNING OF SICK PEOL Queer ]Dodges What Are Tred by Patients to Eboeive the Doctor. "Sly? There is nothing slyer on earth than a sick woman." It was a Washington physic'an who said it, and he added: "I have to be continually on the lookout for tricks that my women patients play on me. Not .nly do they try to get ahead of me in all sorts of ways, as diet and other mat. ters, but they will invent every con ceivable dodge just for the sake of enteitainment. For example, yester day J was taking the temperature of a .ang lady with a continuous fever. 3 held the thermomerer in her mouth five minutes, as usual. And by the way, women always ob.ect to that performance, because it prevents them from talking. One of my ps. tients says that she invariably thinks of something important to say the moment after the glass tube has been placed between ter lips, and she in variably forgets what it was by the time the instrument is removed. "But, as 1 was going to remark, this patient underwent the ordeal, at, the conclusion of which she with drew the thermometer and handed it to me. I noticed a covert grin ad she did so, and wondered what she was inling at. But I declare that I was positively startled when I found that the instrument only registered 87 de. grees Fahrenheit. If that had been her actual temperature she would have been dead; but, on the con trary, she exhibited every other symptom of rapid convalescence. -The fact was that, just before I gave her the thermometer, she had taken a sip of water from a glas3 and incidentally secreted a chunk of ice in her mouth. Naturally that af fected the record of the tube. The patient explained that she had be come so disgusted with waiting for her temperature to come down to 'normal' that she had thought a lit tle artifice would be both appropriate and excusable. "But that is nothing compared to another recent experience of mine. A girl of about 17 was recovering nicely of an attack of jaundice. In fact, she was getting so much better that her sister insisted on resuming her ordinary habit of sleeping with her. I would have preterred not, but there was really no serious objection. "One night, having been detained, I got around rather late: It was after 10 p. m. I walked up stairs to the sie- room and found the sis ters both in bed, the well - ne appar ently sound asleep. The light burned rather dimly. I felt the pulse, which had been quite high in the morning of the same day. To my surprise it was full, regular, and quite normal as to beats. I tried it a second time with the same result. "Now, what do you suppose the trick was in tnat case? You would never guess. The two girls had so arranged themselves in bed that the arm of the well sister was under the sick one and projected in such a man ner as to make it appear as if it be longed to the latter. I had been feel ing the pulse of the wrong lady. No wonder it was healthy. "Th~e matter of diet is most difil cult for the physician to control. His instructions are always apt to be dis regarded, and he must contend not only against the reluctant pat'ent but also with injudiicious relastives and friends, who give her things she should not eat on the sly. One womnan whom 1 attended in a serious il~ness got hold of a bag of pears, brought to her by a sympathetic ac quaintance, and secreted them un der her bed. She ate them all, and the fact that she did not die was simply due to her remarkable consti tution.1 "But I will tell you of a little ex perlence of that sort which I met with quite recently. There was a little gir-l in Georgetown, about 12 years of age, who was on the point of convalescence after typhoid fever. She had been on a liqu'd diet for twc weeks, and her appeals for more sat isfactory food were pitiful. She said the 'slops' that 1 prescribed for her made her sick. "Well, one morning, when I came to the house and was walking up stairs to the sick room, 1 happened to meet the patient's grandmother. She stood aside to let me pass, and I no ticed that she appeared to conceal something behind her back. I stopped short ""Madame,' I said, 'let~ me see what you are hiding.' "After a brief demur she produced it. It was a piece of bread. "'You were going to give that bread to Nellie?' I said sterniy. " 'Yes,' she confessed. 'The poor child has been crying for it.' "I took the bread from her without furthur remark and sought an imme diate Interview with her son, Nellie's father. " 'Mr. Y--,' I said, 'you must' send your mother home to Baltimore' at once. The next express starts at 3 p. m. She must take it.' "'But, doctor,' objected the father, much astonished, 'this is a! severe demand on your part. 1 can not under stand the reason for it and am very reluctant to comply.' " 'You must take your choIce:' ii replied, 'between your mother's pres ence and your daughter's life. A mo ment ago I caught her in the act of trying to convey a slice of bread to the patient. if she had succeelded in do ing so unobserved- Nellie would prob. ably hav'e been dead within forty eight hours.' "Then the old lady went back to Baltimore that afternoon. As for Nellie, 1 met her In the street to-day and noti ed that roses bloomed in her checks. "--Washington Star. ?n its-I don't see how a goon .nany of you city fol.s manage to keep the wolf from the door. Waite -QOz. we live in flats and it would b~e a miighty clever wolf that could get by the jan:tor. KoT TmE WrIO~L TaX'Tn Magristrate--" What's your busi Sand7 Riho,~s-" Ratilroad mn. Masgistrato - "Whaiot particuiar Sad Phode.s -"Trne wa vmer I" - TRIN Whileit ha lon beenknow tat nan ho ollws sren drnk ay . improan dicr i nscdirec nht itl as leonthse on throp d muanouncedow stoink manty arrtveld a milseereieo they isbsingeto Palsrte ofherpaytb d iedry datonhe Departendo icultuere. now abet dmllswhite snketa lives n moe voens, beiur Aniprtrane istovter ind thdrugh io onlyum fe dmnk in Ewater.I glus abounand chaseis cunr w tohe aepesete of the boda t asngto domest hebithe dalb Dr.ut.fourfi fthe ua of ani -i igth ndurves thiel earntofh snmk tfhal ie in the insder inheentrance ntorm thabd iteouana thhe edm of drinkindy wantereI keepsMre avnke ofShe isn'd t rge pleauretThes tle nreponles haan sabouath fof one' finr inut to fthercurhe are cormatle wokna witatt dge of magedto an heth m'e keesirs.ulak. SIt isn lrertiy t a comfortable thought to know at you may have a few pairs of ese animals tucked away inside ur jacket. 'ihe medical men have other name for the disease which sults from their devastations, but twould be popularly called "poor bod." The Passing High shoulder. The fashIon for high shoulder, with lIts smartness, is rapidly passing ay and the over-fashionable gui pre lace is being sutpplanted by point Alencon as a decoration for gowns. he new lace Is of a lovely yellow oe, Its net clear and rather broadly shed and "cattered with convyen inal designs In a series of stitches t~at look like the patient greupinir fa myrIad millet steeds. 5HE ESEXW WHAT WAS THE 11ATER. ?Kaud (apropos of nothing)-"I wish ere dead !" laine- "Who is he?" - Chicago cord EVNN RS II nung4W IT11S U C A cem, very fluo gear han cle ( safe coas - one big very a M1 sot the not tire in a whe nevc not too N Pro!l cli T asp Moe barn the ; fam reles 'att) dash free4 burn ~40t byt: leed :lelp AND SKIRT WITH CLOT!I MING. DBEAM CNE ThRUr. A bashful youth of some twenty sum mers was paying his addresses to a young lady who had long since de spaired of bringing things to a crisis. One night he called and they sat in the gloaming, their hearts pulsating with the tender passion. After settling the :nerits of the weather the girl looked shyly into the face of her timid lover a~nd exclaimed: "I dreamed of you last night,,Tohn," "Did you? Why, now !" "Yes, I dreamed that you kissed me." "Why, now, what did you dream your mother said?" "Oh, I dreamed that she was away m rom home." A light dawned upon the young man's intellect. A singular sound broke the surrounding stillness, and in ;ess than a month they will be married. -Mvemphis Commercial. Involuntary Weather Prophets. The tortoise is not an animal one would naturally fix upon as likely to be afraid of rain, but it is singularly so. Twenty-four hours or more be fore rain falls the Gallapagos tortoise makes for some convenient shelter. On a bright clear morning when not a cloud is to be seen the denizens of a tortoise farm on the African coast may be seen sometimes heading for the nearest overhanging rocks; when that happens the proprietor knows that rain will come down during the day, and as a rule it comes down in torrents. The sign never fails. This pre-sensa tion, to coin a word, which exists 11. many birds and beasts, may be ex plained partly from the increasing weight of the atmosphere when rain i' forming, partly by habits of living and partly from the need of moisturt _ whch is shared by alL The American ce c-bird gives warning of an approach hg thunderstorm, by sitting on th: ow branches of the dog-wood tre' "f (whether this union of the feline with wi the canine is invariable the deponent to ti sayeth not) and uttering curious notes. ond: Other birds, including the familiar aI robin, it is said, give similar evidence cont of an impending change in the weather. cone -Chicago Herald. tee nan: ven1 was rash acc a el pass whi weli .am zoni r ~ ! bre: t II-I ~~of 'xir RTiED~DR ANDcu GT i- R ISE. ~\4 ,G The Bicycle. pnysician writes to medical con porary as follows about cycling: wheel that sells now mast be light, the brake and all super is appliances that weigh a drachm t be left off; It must be hlgh ed, with high seat and low lie-bar. That is the model- bley )f to-day. Such a wheel is un to coast upon, so much so that ting is out of fashion. To ride of these bicycles, one must get a bump on his back and assume a uncomfortable position. I have ichine with the handle bar. higb. 2at I can sit perfectly erect, in most natural position; and I atu exaggerating when I say that it me more to ride twenty miles carriage than it does to rile my el that distance. My advise is r to ride a wheel that you can sit erect upon, and always avoid violent or prolonged exercises. It notes deep breathing beLter thau bing hills." [eroie Work by a Servant (ArL ie heroism of a servant girl saved in of valuable horses for John ar, of Perkiomenville. The large on the farm was set on fire, and nen, when they discovered the Ds, feared to enter the stables to Lse the horses and four head of e. The daring girl, however, ed into the burning building and L the plunging horses and was ed on the' andv and face, though eriously. She was greatly cheered 1e men who watched the brave The barn was destroyed. -Paila xia Record. e/ NT The First Elevator. e are now informed that the " or "elevator," the apparatus a take us from the ground floor ie top of the house In a few sec , is not a modern invention, say russels paper. An ingenious rivance ot a similar nature was tructed In the middle of the seven h century, in Paris, by a man ed Velayer, who called his in Ion a flying chair. Velayer's lift not merely a toy; it became very lonable among rich people or unt of its utility. It was simnply air attached to a rope, which was ed over a pulley-or something h did duty for one-and had a ht at Its other end to counterbal the chair and the occupant. It ,nued in fashion uint-il a mishap Lrred to the King's daughter at sallies. On one occasion the ma ery failed to work when she was way up, and there she stucik for e good hours befoie she could ibe ued by her servants, who had to Lk away the wall to release her. ying chairs" were not much used ,he court afterwards, a EE IN'rEacT. 1awley-"That fellahi Jonesy has a y analytical mind." wed-"How's that ?" hawley-"Why, this mawning he a fellah out of the club window wying an umbrella and he said: must be wainiug.' He did, by "-Chicago Rtecord. A Dnws MA.. ltor.."Who wrote theso verses?" et (proudly) -"I did, sir." ditor-"You are a brave man. oet (blushig)-"Thlank you, sir." ditor-" Yes; only a brave man l dare to acknowledge the deed." Ln English paler tells a good story clerical presence of mind. A ate who had entered the pulpit vide1 with ne of the late Lie Reason for Rejoicing. When Wesley and Nelson were traveling through Cornwall, from P, common to cumnion, preaching to a a, people who heard willingily, but sel- ai dom or never proffered them the V slightest act of hospitality, they were h( frecuently hun~ry. Cn Toey were deta.ined some time a, a! St. Ives bec:aus2 of the illness of one e. of their companions. and their lodgt- in ing was little better than their faie. fu "'All that time," says Mr. Nelhon, tb "1r. Wesley and I lay on the 1oor; W< he had my great-coat for his pillowx re and I had Burkitt/s Notes on the so New Testament for mine. 4 'After beiung here near three weeks i .ne morning, aboutthrceo'ciock, Mr. a Wesley turned over, and 2ining me an awake, clapped me on the side, say- of ing, 'Brother Nelson, let us be of A] good cheer: We have mu-:h to re- Iil, joice in. .. have one whole side yet, Gi for the skin is only off on cne side.' " he Si DANGBO TO BZ AT LARGE. "Why are they hanging- this man?"'n asked the new arrival. be "Fer shootin' a feller in the laig," t explained Alkali Ihe, who was master of ceremonies. "Good gracious! Would you take the life of a fellow-creature for so small ar . matter as that?" "You bet we would. You see, he missed the feller he was shootin' at aInd hit the innercent man in the laig. A feller that can't handle a gun 'thont % endangerin' the lives of everybody who happens to be on the street is too dan- ": gerous to have around, besides bein' a isgrace to the community. "-ndi- . anapolis JournaL &6 ':11 - ~ L // r sa *II' n < ~~pri i~ /o la the asE >-opu !i hipperacIwul s i yourhono toadjorn te cse." . ow Judge-"Why you ere cugh i the at ofsteaing agold wath fr ma the erso of genlema. Beides Prisoer -So a I, our onor :nd ptihieforearaceIhouldt hakr your"--nornto.ajuntecs. Wales' Most Poyiial- Dapghter. Of the three daughters of the ince of Wales by far the cleverest id the one possissed of the largest aount of savoir faire is Princess ictoria (now 25,) who has long been tr mother's right hand and who rries on half her correspondence id upp'ies by quickest and shrewd t tact her mo;her's want of hear S. She is hearty, jolly, merry, and 1 of aplom b, and there is no doubt at if she and her younger sister re suddenly thrown on their own sources the two yoknir ladies would ja make their way In the worid, e eler of the two leading. Th. rcss of Fite, on the contrary is of >cutimental and dreamy character j more fond of novel reading than the practical work of housekeeping. 1 three of the Wales girls are very :e the type of the royal house of ielph, especially their eyes and fore ads, and the two voungest are very ilar in character and disposition 9. The Duchess of Fife cares noth r for display and state, and would quite content to be free from the quette of a court. HUMAIT'S TOSTUREn. "You are the defendant in the case, s you not?" asked the prosecuting torie.. - sir," replied the man in the Mness box. c ":ay I ask your occupation?" "I am a manufacturer of calliope ' iqtles." "That's all," rejoined the attorney. a o far as we are concerned, your or, the case is ready to go to the ' "-Chicago Trisune. - 1 ] t V t t f e.~ t s t f. 0 C b 't OTH a / b WIS WODS --- 1 ['ehihs fredhpmutawy d usto he hghet plasue. t Ccwofre oronfins Cnyt olwatrtoeo ih eere r nb a' eo ol arnaeadntt THr '1eaainthnagoy E'htigt hest enohpmust alions; c tues toeibestpe ue L hobl lforet croe owit hris I deand o mplo ae thory of hegh hteste emre sob. thIert. scin beinl patonagel anl :t ough. endo isddwath ble qaigito be. he wer defamreo the aglryinle. te ors, qupelt wrs,n are befter th osa pce rovide worus. Thy ora te vinct, oies mlstg I ciusift tnodna.H er missio a tone to the mily, common aytins; a Sidelad illat ure make or boe a ciente lifeu owhapp ith heri o :h risesro bovd and otlies tihsei hi~er eirenoiaf the ethea s wine thepsroneslttl hasn iNdolman isea henyou ougod putnourgha tos trseth ulmted cen tor be ateere ualfco? We a kinde 0 ee ptout enite di daly thetposes nt bof s nerolsusa apiiee betr Ie asaer lac isoiedlforus Ln itestighdes holirary mos ioums, ifttnnde isiont mand ipne is the family and eleenthin an ewithl thaterfuld mnakeurer ore h rteenth usenulriesp wicha sere 11 isovred n hao e Frnights. . winthoe srongti hed. oma sEAN DART6 AcIdent In the Life of the Wamous Od Frenchm~an. One of the French war-ships which ;ook part in the Columbia naval re. riew at New York was named the lean Bart. As the ship was one of hhe first class, and attracted conse juently a great deal of attention, no ittle curiosity was aroused by its iame, which to most people seemed strange one. In books of reference ?eople were told that Joan Bart was French Admiral who flourished at ,be close of the seventeenth century, tnd who, beginning life as a Usher nan, rose tc high rank, and became 6 popular hero; but none of the cur. ent biographies contAin any of th :urious and amusing anecdotes about ilm which nave come down from tit ,ime when he lived. One of these stories will serve to how what sort of man 'Jean Bart ras. When he had made a brillianf ecord as a kind of buccaneer, an& hown that he was a much abler sea. rarrior than any of the officers of to ble birth who commanded the navy, Cing Louis made him first a lieuten nt and then the captainof a frigate, n which position he greatly distin uished himself. One day, while several elegant ourtiers were waiting in the great ionarch's antechamber for an inter 'iew with the King, a rather rough. 3oking sailor came in. The courtiers nd attendants were greatly shocked, ut the sailor announced that he was ean Bart4 and that he had come to ce the King. One of his men, Ceyser, had been condemned to death )r killing a man in a duel, and he ras going to ask the King to pardor "But, Monsieur le Capitaine," said he attendant, "have you a royal in. itation entitling- you to an au ience?" "A royal invitation?" exclaimed he Captain. "What do I want of bat? The King and I are good riends. No need of all that nonsense etween us! You just tell him that ean Bart wants to talk to him, and hat'il be enough!" "But i can't announce any one rho hasn't an invitation," said the ttendant." "All right," said Jean Bart; "I'l nnounce myself!" He bounded toward the door of the ling's apartment, very much as if e were starting to run up a main. iast. The attendant, with pale ice, placed himself before him, ex laiming: "IBu the King's orders! Don't you bey the King's orders?" "Oh well," said the sallor, "if it omes to that, I'lI wait. I won't gC gainst the King's orders." He sat down among the astonishec )urtiers, took out a pipe and some abacco, strdck a light with his flint nd tinder, and began to smoke. The ttendant protested that no one Loked in the King's antechamber; ut Jean Bart insisted that when he ras waiting he always smoked. "Put him out!" some one whis ered; but no one ventured to do more an whisper it. Soon the King tarned what was going on, and - rdered Jean Bart in as soon as he bould have finished his pipe. The iterview, in which Jean Bart con ucted himself with all due respect a the King, ended in the granting i Keyser's pardon, and Jean Bart ame back into the courtiers' pros ace triumphant. They all crowded about the blu~-'. laptain, very obsequious to him now, nd completely blocking his exit. He ras in great haste to carry the pardon SKeyser. "Oh,'tell us, Monsieur Jean Bart," de courtiers began to exclaim, "tell s how you got out of the harbor of lunkirk, when you were blockaded aere by the English fleet:" "You want to know, eh?" asked me Captain, pausing. "Certainly!" they exclaimed, -owding still more closely about urm. "All right! I'll show you just how was done. Look here; I'm Jean art, aint I? Well, this roomf is the arbor of Dunkirk, and you feliows r'e the English fleet blockading me, nd now-" Whack! bang! whack! Jean Bart Ld about him, now administering a .g, now a kick, and very forCibly4 Learing a way toward the door. At e reached it, he exclaimed: "And tbat's the way, gentlemen, at I got out of Dunkirk harbor rhn I was blockaded there by thE nglisb fleet! .Good-by!" The war-ship that bears the name t th's redoubtable sea-dog should be formidable antagonist. The Cat in Ancient Times. The cat was so very highly re arded in England at one time, both R a rat and mouse catcher, and as n ornament to society, that we find be following salutary law passed by no of the princes of Wales: "If any one steal o~r kill a Cat that unaras the Prince's Granary, he is to . rfeit a milch i~we, its Pleeco and ,s" ,ab. Or, as much Wheat as.wh oured upon the can suspended from ,s tall, with the bead touchlng the uor, would form a heap high e~nough acover the tip of the former." Though the Wemh had a high pin on of the cat, the asncient Egyp ans b-id a still higher. Tiee 'ntel gent and civilized people teted. its with great distinction. It w rime to kill one, and when they dieds ey received a public buriaI>-at hich the people mourned, havingi rt shaved odl their eyebrows as a )ken of sorrow. The most promi ent cats were upon death embalmed idrugs and spices, and cat r'um ies have been found side by side ith those of kings. When Camby m, the Persian, attacked the Egyp. an city of Pelusis, he cunningly rovided his soldiers with cats in. ead of shids. When the host ad anced, the Egyptians retired in con ~sionz upon discovering that they ould be unable to do damage to 2eir enemy without seriously imr erilling the lives of vast numbers of ts. And iso the city was taken sily and without the loss of blood racat. The oldest national flag in the world that of Denmark, which has been I e since the year 1219.