The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, February 16, 1895, Image 4
CUNNING OF SICK PEOL
Queer ]Dodges What Are Tred by Patients
to Eboeive the Doctor.
"Sly? There is nothing slyer on
earth than a sick woman."
It was a Washington physic'an who
said it, and he added:
"I have to be continually on the
lookout for tricks that my women
patients play on me. Not .nly do
they try to get ahead of me in all
sorts of ways, as diet and other mat.
ters, but they will invent every con
ceivable dodge just for the sake of
enteitainment. For example, yester
day J was taking the temperature of
a .ang lady with a continuous fever.
3 held the thermomerer in her
mouth five minutes, as usual. And
by the way, women always ob.ect to
that performance, because it prevents
them from talking. One of my ps.
tients says that she invariably thinks
of something important to say the
moment after the glass tube has been
placed between ter lips, and she in
variably forgets what it was by the
time the instrument is removed.
"But, as 1 was going to remark,
this patient underwent the ordeal,
at, the conclusion of which she with
drew the thermometer and handed it
to me. I noticed a covert grin ad she
did so, and wondered what she was
inling at. But I declare that I was
positively startled when I found that
the instrument only registered 87 de.
grees Fahrenheit. If that had been
her actual temperature she would
have been dead; but, on the con
trary, she exhibited every other
symptom of rapid convalescence.
-The fact was that, just before I
gave her the thermometer, she had
taken a sip of water from a glas3 and
incidentally secreted a chunk of ice
in her mouth. Naturally that af
fected the record of the tube. The
patient explained that she had be
come so disgusted with waiting for
her temperature to come down to
'normal' that she had thought a lit
tle artifice would be both appropriate
and excusable.
"But that is nothing compared to
another recent experience of mine.
A girl of about 17 was recovering
nicely of an attack of jaundice. In
fact, she was getting so much better
that her sister insisted on resuming
her ordinary habit of sleeping with
her. I would have preterred not, but
there was really no serious objection.
"One night, having been detained,
I got around rather late: It was
after 10 p. m. I walked up stairs
to the sie- room and found the sis
ters both in bed, the well - ne appar
ently sound asleep. The light burned
rather dimly. I felt the pulse, which
had been quite high in the morning
of the same day. To my surprise it
was full, regular, and quite normal
as to beats. I tried it a second time
with the same result.
"Now, what do you suppose the
trick was in tnat case? You would
never guess. The two girls had so
arranged themselves in bed that the
arm of the well sister was under the
sick one and projected in such a man
ner as to make it appear as if it be
longed to the latter. I had been feel
ing the pulse of the wrong lady. No
wonder it was healthy.
"Th~e matter of diet is most difil
cult for the physician to control. His
instructions are always apt to be dis
regarded, and he must contend not
only against the reluctant pat'ent
but also with injudiicious relastives
and friends, who give her things she
should not eat on the sly. One
womnan whom 1 attended in a serious
il~ness got hold of a bag of pears,
brought to her by a sympathetic ac
quaintance, and secreted them un
der her bed. She ate them all, and
the fact that she did not die was
simply due to her remarkable consti
tution.1
"But I will tell you of a little ex
perlence of that sort which I met
with quite recently. There was a
little gir-l in Georgetown, about 12
years of age, who was on the point of
convalescence after typhoid fever.
She had been on a liqu'd diet for twc
weeks, and her appeals for more sat
isfactory food were pitiful. She said
the 'slops' that 1 prescribed for her
made her sick.
"Well, one morning, when I came
to the house and was walking up
stairs to the sick room, 1 happened to
meet the patient's grandmother. She
stood aside to let me pass, and I no
ticed that she appeared to conceal
something behind her back. I stopped
short
""Madame,' I said, 'let~ me see
what you are hiding.'
"After a brief demur she produced
it. It was a piece of bread.
"'You were going to give that
bread to Nellie?' I said sterniy.
" 'Yes,' she confessed. 'The poor
child has been crying for it.'
"I took the bread from her without
furthur remark and sought an imme
diate Interview with her son, Nellie's
father.
" 'Mr. Y--,' I said, 'you must'
send your mother home to Baltimore'
at once. The next express starts at
3 p. m. She must take it.'
"'But, doctor,' objected the
father, much astonished, 'this is a!
severe demand on your part. 1 can
not under stand the reason for it and
am very reluctant to comply.'
" 'You must take your choIce:' ii
replied, 'between your mother's pres
ence and your daughter's life. A mo
ment ago I caught her in the act of
trying to convey a slice of bread to the
patient. if she had succeelded in do
ing so unobserved- Nellie would prob.
ably hav'e been dead within forty
eight hours.'
"Then the old lady went back to
Baltimore that afternoon. As for
Nellie, 1 met her In the street
to-day and noti ed that roses bloomed
in her checks. "--Washington Star.
?n its-I don't see how a goon
.nany of you city fol.s manage to
keep the wolf from the door. Waite
-QOz. we live in flats and it would
b~e a miighty clever wolf that could
get by the jan:tor.
KoT TmE WrIO~L TaX'Tn
Magristrate--" What's your busi
Sand7 Riho,~s-" Ratilroad mn.
Masgistrato - "Whaiot particuiar
Sad Phode.s -"Trne wa vmer I"
- TRIN
Whileit ha lon beenknow tat
nan ho ollws sren drnk ay
. improan dicr i nscdirec
nht itl as leonthse on throp
d muanouncedow stoink manty
arrtveld a milseereieo they
isbsingeto Palsrte ofherpaytb
d iedry datonhe Departendo
icultuere. now abet dmllswhite
snketa lives n moe voens, beiur
Aniprtrane istovter ind thdrugh
io onlyum fe dmnk in Ewater.I
glus abounand chaseis cunr
w tohe aepesete of the boda t
asngto domest hebithe dalb
Dr.ut.fourfi fthe ua of ani -i
igth ndurves thiel earntofh
snmk tfhal ie in the insder
inheentrance ntorm thabd iteouana
thhe edm of drinkindy wantereI
keepsMre avnke ofShe isn'd t rge
pleauretThes tle nreponles haan
sabouath fof one' finr inut to
fthercurhe are cormatle wokna
witatt dge of magedto an heth
m'e keesirs.ulak. SIt isn lrertiy
t a comfortable thought to know
at you may have a few pairs of
ese animals tucked away inside
ur jacket. 'ihe medical men have
other name for the disease which
sults from their devastations, but
twould be popularly called "poor
bod."
The Passing High shoulder.
The fashIon for high shoulder, with
lIts smartness, is rapidly passing
ay and the over-fashionable gui
pre lace is being sutpplanted by point
Alencon as a decoration for gowns.
he new lace Is of a lovely yellow
oe, Its net clear and rather broadly
shed and "cattered with convyen
inal designs In a series of stitches
t~at look like the patient greupinir
fa myrIad millet steeds.
5HE ESEXW WHAT WAS THE 11ATER.
?Kaud (apropos of nothing)-"I wish
ere dead !"
laine- "Who is he?" - Chicago
cord
EVNN RS II
nung4W IT11S U C
A
cem,
very
fluo
gear
han
cle (
safe
coas
- one
big
very
a M1
sot
the
not
tire
in a
whe
nevc
not
too
N Pro!l
cli
T
asp
Moe
barn
the ;
fam
reles
'att)
dash
free4
burn
~40t
byt:
leed
:lelp
AND SKIRT WITH CLOT!I
MING.
DBEAM CNE ThRUr.
A bashful youth of some twenty sum
mers was paying his addresses to a
young lady who had long since de
spaired of bringing things to a crisis.
One night he called and they sat in the
gloaming, their hearts pulsating with
the tender passion. After settling the
:nerits of the weather the girl looked
shyly into the face of her timid lover
a~nd exclaimed:
"I dreamed of you last night,,Tohn,"
"Did you? Why, now !"
"Yes, I dreamed that you kissed
me."
"Why, now, what did you dream
your mother said?"
"Oh, I dreamed that she was away
m rom home."
A light dawned upon the young
man's intellect. A singular sound
broke the surrounding stillness, and in
;ess than a month they will be married.
-Mvemphis Commercial.
Involuntary Weather Prophets.
The tortoise is not an animal one
would naturally fix upon as likely to
be afraid of rain, but it is singularly
so. Twenty-four hours or more be
fore rain falls the Gallapagos tortoise
makes for some convenient shelter. On
a bright clear morning when not a
cloud is to be seen the denizens of a
tortoise farm on the African coast may
be seen sometimes heading for the
nearest overhanging rocks; when that
happens the proprietor knows that
rain will come down during the day,
and as a rule it comes down in torrents.
The sign never fails. This pre-sensa
tion, to coin a word, which exists 11.
many birds and beasts, may be ex
plained partly from the increasing
weight of the atmosphere when rain i'
forming, partly by habits of living
and partly from the need of moisturt _
whch is shared by alL The American
ce c-bird gives warning of an approach
hg thunderstorm, by sitting on th:
ow branches of the dog-wood tre' "f
(whether this union of the feline with wi
the canine is invariable the deponent to ti
sayeth not) and uttering curious notes. ond:
Other birds, including the familiar aI
robin, it is said, give similar evidence cont
of an impending change in the weather. cone
-Chicago Herald. tee
nan:
ven1
was
rash
acc
a el
pass
whi
weli
.am zoni
r
~ ! bre:
t
II-I
~~of
'xir
RTiED~DR ANDcu
GT i- R ISE.
~\4 ,G
The Bicycle.
pnysician writes to medical con
porary as follows about cycling:
wheel that sells now mast be
light, the brake and all super
is appliances that weigh a drachm
t be left off; It must be hlgh
ed, with high seat and low
lie-bar. That is the model- bley
)f to-day. Such a wheel is un
to coast upon, so much so that
ting is out of fashion. To ride
of these bicycles, one must get a
bump on his back and assume a
uncomfortable position. I have
ichine with the handle bar. higb.
2at I can sit perfectly erect, in
most natural position; and I atu
exaggerating when I say that it
me more to ride twenty miles
carriage than it does to rile my
el that distance. My advise is
r to ride a wheel that you can
sit erect upon, and always avoid
violent or prolonged exercises. It
notes deep breathing beLter thau
bing hills."
[eroie Work by a Servant (ArL
ie heroism of a servant girl saved
in of valuable horses for John
ar, of Perkiomenville. The large
on the farm was set on fire, and
nen, when they discovered the
Ds, feared to enter the stables to
Lse the horses and four head of
e. The daring girl, however,
ed into the burning building and
L the plunging horses and was
ed on the' andv and face, though
eriously. She was greatly cheered
1e men who watched the brave
The barn was destroyed. -Paila
xia Record.
e/
NT
The First Elevator.
e are now informed that the
" or "elevator," the apparatus
a take us from the ground floor
ie top of the house In a few sec
, is not a modern invention, say
russels paper. An ingenious
rivance ot a similar nature was
tructed In the middle of the seven
h century, in Paris, by a man
ed Velayer, who called his in
Ion a flying chair. Velayer's lift
not merely a toy; it became very
lonable among rich people or
unt of its utility. It was simnply
air attached to a rope, which was
ed over a pulley-or something
h did duty for one-and had a
ht at Its other end to counterbal
the chair and the occupant. It
,nued in fashion uint-il a mishap
Lrred to the King's daughter at
sallies. On one occasion the ma
ery failed to work when she was
way up, and there she stucik for
e good hours befoie she could ibe
ued by her servants, who had to
Lk away the wall to release her.
ying chairs" were not much used
,he court afterwards,
a EE IN'rEacT.
1awley-"That fellahi Jonesy has a
y analytical mind."
wed-"How's that ?"
hawley-"Why, this mawning he
a fellah out of the club window
wying an umbrella and he said:
must be wainiug.' He did, by
"-Chicago Rtecord.
A Dnws MA..
ltor.."Who wrote theso verses?"
et (proudly) -"I did, sir."
ditor-"You are a brave man.
oet (blushig)-"Thlank you, sir."
ditor-" Yes; only a brave man
l dare to acknowledge the deed."
Ln English paler tells a good story
clerical presence of mind. A
ate who had entered the pulpit
vide1 with ne of the late Lie
Reason for Rejoicing.
When Wesley and Nelson were
traveling through Cornwall, from P,
common to cumnion, preaching to a a,
people who heard willingily, but sel- ai
dom or never proffered them the V
slightest act of hospitality, they were h(
frecuently hun~ry. Cn
Toey were deta.ined some time a, a!
St. Ives bec:aus2 of the illness of one e.
of their companions. and their lodgt- in
ing was little better than their faie. fu
"'All that time," says Mr. Nelhon, tb
"1r. Wesley and I lay on the 1oor; W<
he had my great-coat for his pillowx re
and I had Burkitt/s Notes on the so
New Testament for mine. 4
'After beiung here near three weeks i
.ne morning, aboutthrceo'ciock, Mr. a
Wesley turned over, and 2ining me an
awake, clapped me on the side, say- of
ing, 'Brother Nelson, let us be of A]
good cheer: We have mu-:h to re- Iil,
joice in. .. have one whole side yet, Gi
for the skin is only off on cne side.' " he
Si
DANGBO TO BZ AT LARGE.
"Why are they hanging- this man?"'n
asked the new arrival. be
"Fer shootin' a feller in the laig," t
explained Alkali Ihe, who was master
of ceremonies.
"Good gracious! Would you take
the life of a fellow-creature for so small ar
. matter as that?"
"You bet we would. You see, he
missed the feller he was shootin' at
aInd hit the innercent man in the laig.
A feller that can't handle a gun 'thont %
endangerin' the lives of everybody who
happens to be on the street is too dan- ":
gerous to have around, besides bein' a
isgrace to the community. "-ndi- .
anapolis JournaL
&6
':11
- ~ L
// r
sa
*II' n <
~~pri
i~
/o
la
the
asE
>-opu !i hipperacIwul s i
yourhono toadjorn te cse." . ow
Judge-"Why you ere cugh i
the at ofsteaing agold wath fr ma
the erso of genlema. Beides
Prisoer -So a I, our onor
:nd ptihieforearaceIhouldt hakr
your"--nornto.ajuntecs.
Wales' Most Poyiial- Dapghter.
Of the three daughters of the
ince of Wales by far the cleverest
id the one possissed of the largest
aount of savoir faire is Princess
ictoria (now 25,) who has long been
tr mother's right hand and who
rries on half her correspondence
id upp'ies by quickest and shrewd
t tact her mo;her's want of hear
S. She is hearty, jolly, merry, and
1 of aplom b, and there is no doubt
at if she and her younger sister
re suddenly thrown on their own
sources the two yoknir ladies would
ja make their way In the worid,
e eler of the two leading. Th.
rcss of Fite, on the contrary is of
>cutimental and dreamy character
j more fond of novel reading than
the practical work of housekeeping.
1 three of the Wales girls are very
:e the type of the royal house of
ielph, especially their eyes and fore
ads, and the two voungest are very
ilar in character and disposition
9. The Duchess of Fife cares noth
r for display and state, and would
quite content to be free from the
quette of a court.
HUMAIT'S TOSTUREn.
"You are the defendant in the case,
s you not?" asked the prosecuting
torie..
- sir," replied the man in the
Mness box. c
":ay I ask your occupation?"
"I am a manufacturer of calliope '
iqtles."
"That's all," rejoined the attorney. a
o far as we are concerned, your
or, the case is ready to go to the '
"-Chicago Trisune. - 1
]
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f
e.~
t
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t
f.
0
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b
't
OTH a
/ b
WIS WODS
--- 1
['ehihs fredhpmutawy
d usto he hghet plasue. t
Ccwofre oronfins
Cnyt olwatrtoeo ih
eere r nb
a' eo ol arnaeadntt
THr '1eaainthnagoy
E'htigt hest enohpmust alions; c
tues toeibestpe ue
L hobl lforet croe owit hris I
deand o mplo ae thory of hegh
hteste emre sob. thIert.
scin beinl patonagel anl :t
ough.
endo isddwath ble qaigito be.
he wer defamreo the aglryinle.
te ors, qupelt wrs,n are befter
th osa pce rovide worus. Thy
ora te vinct, oies mlstg I
ciusift tnodna.H er missio a
tone to the mily, common aytins; a
Sidelad illat ure make or boe a
ciente lifeu owhapp ith heri o
:h risesro bovd and otlies tihsei
hi~er eirenoiaf the ethea s
wine thepsroneslttl hasn iNdolman
isea henyou ougod putnourgha tos
trseth ulmted cen tor be
ateere ualfco? We a kinde 0
ee ptout enite di daly thetposes
nt bof s nerolsusa apiiee betr
Ie asaer lac isoiedlforus
Ln itestighdes holirary mos
ioums, ifttnnde isiont mand
ipne is the family and eleenthin an
ewithl thaterfuld mnakeurer ore h
rteenth usenulriesp wicha sere
11 isovred n hao e Frnights. .
winthoe srongti hed. oma
sEAN DART6
AcIdent In the Life of the Wamous Od
Frenchm~an.
One of the French war-ships which
;ook part in the Columbia naval re.
riew at New York was named the
lean Bart. As the ship was one of
hhe first class, and attracted conse
juently a great deal of attention, no
ittle curiosity was aroused by its
iame, which to most people seemed
strange one. In books of reference
?eople were told that Joan Bart was
French Admiral who flourished at
,be close of the seventeenth century,
tnd who, beginning life as a Usher
nan, rose tc high rank, and became
6 popular hero; but none of the cur.
ent biographies contAin any of th
:urious and amusing anecdotes about
ilm which nave come down from tit
,ime when he lived.
One of these stories will serve to
how what sort of man 'Jean Bart
ras. When he had made a brillianf
ecord as a kind of buccaneer, an&
hown that he was a much abler sea.
rarrior than any of the officers of
to ble birth who commanded the navy,
Cing Louis made him first a lieuten
nt and then the captainof a frigate,
n which position he greatly distin
uished himself.
One day, while several elegant
ourtiers were waiting in the great
ionarch's antechamber for an inter
'iew with the King, a rather rough.
3oking sailor came in. The courtiers
nd attendants were greatly shocked,
ut the sailor announced that he was
ean Bart4 and that he had come to
ce the King. One of his men,
Ceyser, had been condemned to death
)r killing a man in a duel, and he
ras going to ask the King to pardor
"But, Monsieur le Capitaine," said
he attendant, "have you a royal in.
itation entitling- you to an au
ience?"
"A royal invitation?" exclaimed
he Captain. "What do I want of
bat? The King and I are good
riends. No need of all that nonsense
etween us! You just tell him that
ean Bart wants to talk to him, and
hat'il be enough!"
"But i can't announce any one
rho hasn't an invitation," said the
ttendant."
"All right," said Jean Bart; "I'l
nnounce myself!"
He bounded toward the door of the
ling's apartment, very much as if
e were starting to run up a main.
iast. The attendant, with pale
ice, placed himself before him, ex
laiming:
"IBu the King's orders! Don't you
bey the King's orders?"
"Oh well," said the sallor, "if it
omes to that, I'lI wait. I won't gC
gainst the King's orders."
He sat down among the astonishec
)urtiers, took out a pipe and some
abacco, strdck a light with his flint
nd tinder, and began to smoke. The
ttendant protested that no one
Loked in the King's antechamber;
ut Jean Bart insisted that when he
ras waiting he always smoked.
"Put him out!" some one whis
ered; but no one ventured to do more
an whisper it. Soon the King
tarned what was going on, and -
rdered Jean Bart in as soon as he
bould have finished his pipe. The
iterview, in which Jean Bart con
ucted himself with all due respect
a the King, ended in the granting
i Keyser's pardon, and Jean Bart
ame back into the courtiers' pros
ace triumphant.
They all crowded about the blu~-'.
laptain, very obsequious to him now,
nd completely blocking his exit. He
ras in great haste to carry the pardon
SKeyser.
"Oh,'tell us, Monsieur Jean Bart,"
de courtiers began to exclaim, "tell
s how you got out of the harbor of
lunkirk, when you were blockaded
aere by the English fleet:"
"You want to know, eh?" asked
me Captain, pausing.
"Certainly!" they exclaimed,
-owding still more closely about
urm.
"All right! I'll show you just how
was done. Look here; I'm Jean
art, aint I? Well, this roomf is the
arbor of Dunkirk, and you feliows
r'e the English fleet blockading me,
nd now-"
Whack! bang! whack! Jean Bart
Ld about him, now administering a
.g, now a kick, and very forCibly4
Learing a way toward the door. At
e reached it, he exclaimed:
"And tbat's the way, gentlemen,
at I got out of Dunkirk harbor
rhn I was blockaded there by thE
nglisb fleet! .Good-by!"
The war-ship that bears the name
t th's redoubtable sea-dog should be
formidable antagonist.
The Cat in Ancient Times.
The cat was so very highly re
arded in England at one time, both
R a rat and mouse catcher, and as
n ornament to society, that we find
be following salutary law passed by
no of the princes of Wales:
"If any one steal o~r kill a Cat that
unaras the Prince's Granary, he is to .
rfeit a milch i~we, its Pleeco and ,s"
,ab. Or, as much Wheat as.wh
oured upon the can suspended from
,s tall, with the bead touchlng the
uor, would form a heap high e~nough
acover the tip of the former."
Though the Wemh had a high
pin on of the cat, the asncient Egyp
ans b-id a still higher. Tiee 'ntel
gent and civilized people teted.
its with great distinction. It w
rime to kill one, and when they dieds
ey received a public buriaI>-at
hich the people mourned, havingi
rt shaved odl their eyebrows as a
)ken of sorrow. The most promi
ent cats were upon death embalmed
idrugs and spices, and cat r'um
ies have been found side by side
ith those of kings. When Camby
m, the Persian, attacked the Egyp.
an city of Pelusis, he cunningly
rovided his soldiers with cats in.
ead of shids. When the host ad
anced, the Egyptians retired in con
~sionz upon discovering that they
ould be unable to do damage to
2eir enemy without seriously imr
erilling the lives of vast numbers of
ts. And iso the city was taken
sily and without the loss of blood
racat.
The oldest national flag in the world
that of Denmark, which has been I
e since the year 1219.