University of South Carolina Libraries
THE LEDGER: GAFFNEY, S. C., SEPTEMBER 17, 1896. f DOWN ON ROCKY. Tho Ono Gallus Statesman Watching Iho Fencea Is Sign, of “At I 'Clint One Uurn Fool In tho Hettloment »ncl Alnybo Two” — A Itroud Streak of “Felonlouo Hail Tack.” Onet upon a time me anti my ('ncle Jctiah Jernigan—which you under stand the Jorni- gans had then mixed up and married into the Sanders family till, by gracious, you .aoBf couldn'tscarce- S" Cv ]y tell which \ V> " ar which nnd \ who ' v ®« who > \ Y —we took n trip, we did, and went way over there into the hill country of Georgy to visit around amongst the fam ily kinnery for a few weeks Now, if in ease you ninylio mought not know the .Terniirans, I will have to tell you in regards to that stock of people that they don’t have fits and they do have reuse. As to my I'nele Josioh—well, he don’t know anything for certain when it comes to hooks and book lenniin, but what little he don’t know i 1 out mules and niggers, and horses and people and things, was tore oat of the records in the first, settlement of the country. ••One Durn Fool at Teaat.” Ilidin along through Georgy one long summer day we sudclently come to where there was two joinin farms, and 1 took I'tirticlar notice of two hn? fences built so jam-up dost together till they didn’t make a lane, nor a pig alley, nor nothin, and says I to Uncle Jo«iah, says I: "What you reckon them fellows mean by buildin two fences side by side so clost together?” Soys Uncle Josiah to me, rays he: ‘‘I don’t know anything for certiUn as to this partidar case, Rufus, hut for a eon:icon tiling and a general rule to go by. y heiisoiriever you see two line fences rupnin so dost together,yon can most in generally always git out your little notrlmok and set it down that there is at least one durn fool in the settlement, and maybe two.” Snch “3 rloniom Rad Turk.” In regards to the gentleman from Iloely ( rede, there is one thing in par- tlehir which \ou can find stickin out si! 1 along the line so far back as the fam ily records run. If I never do die till trouble kills me I will live a long, 1-o-n-g time, and old Methusalem, which the good T iok tells ns about, would Ik* a mere-kid compared to me. And I never was no hand to peddle around and g. ter other people with the trials and i < ihiilat ions that come to me whilst the 1 c. ket i pasttin round. Ilul. w hite people, 1 have had such a hii ! : ti-cak of felonious bad luck here | lately till I fed necessary compelled to . | i ak ml the truth if it shames the ! de\ iI and unload on the patient and 1 mg Mifc'erin public. Some folks say liny don’t believe in luck, but I do. And in my own day and generation I have had more hick of one sort, and another hut mostly good luck—than nn\ lii in white man. I do reckon, Jf it ain’t lin k it looks like luck to |ne, and there you tire at any rates, On the very first rattle out of tho boy which it was then along In the first days of .limp if I remember right— iSIcv Scroggins he rid up to the horse rack at our house one day and hitched a big fino-lookin sorrel horse, with flux inane and tail. We passed the regktr compliments in regards to the weather and the crops, flung' in « few seotterln remarks on the great question of poli ties, nnd didn’t say narry word about horse flesh and swappln stock, But I recently when Blev mounted his horse to return back home I couldn’t s^nnd 'It no longer. In the main time, you understand, 1 hud sized up the big sor rel on his general appearments, x.s it were, and took a iiowrful likln to him. So l told Blev, in my own flat-footed fool way, that if he would rather have my n an- mule Kate, than his horse he enu Id ride a round by the lot and do some fw nppin. " > i ii are traded wit.li,” says Pier, ai d by the time I got out to the lot he l ad pulled off his saddle and turned tin- In r e loose. And then in less time than it takes me to tell it he had put his Middle on the mule and lid off to wards home in a gallop. About that time the thought struck me that there must be somethin dead up the creek In. regards to my tine horse. Illev was so quick on trigger—so easy to swap with, and then in such a furious big hurry to saddle the mule nnd hit the big r(«d for hoine. But I looked the big sorrel oicr and couldn't find n blemish any where from foretop to fetlock. S'even Foot Cnclor "Terryforms.” That night 1 turned my horse loose down into the calf paster, and when I imi up , e\t inornin it come to puss that lie had turned himself loose down into an old well, which it want more than mm n feet deep and he didn’t fall far <*iuiugh to kill him. Naturally of course by that time anybody could tell what w; the matter with old son el. He was moon-Pied. He couldn't see un der In feet at night and didn't know a It a acre calf paster from n hole in the I'round. So there I was, us the man a,\ in t he play, and then'was my fine h"i e , eu feet under "terryforma,” a Aunt Nancy Newton wen: wont to m I called up the hands nnd we I'itehed iii to dig' him out. We bad to nt a tunnel and open n small mine be fore we .. >t him out onest more on a level with the broad bosom of the earth. But (hulblnme the luck, In the main linif it did look to me like every livln L 11 I oi tin- settlement pnrticlnr [litil. hud swnppin stock -had to |ht along the big road by our J bounc nnd see me and the bands tenrin up the bowels of the earth togit my sor- | rel horse out of the old well. Three or ! four of the lioys had to stop by long I enough to see the show, and eonse- j quentially aftir that 1 mought ns well ! to of put it in thu new sjuipci s. Before the sun went down it was known for miles and miles around that my bigsor- ! rel horse, w ith flax mane and tail, was j blipd in a manner and didn’t/know a ten-acre calf paster from a hole in the ground. He was likewise also mighty bad scarred and . kbit up, w hich the same I dassent try to explain. Bright and early the next inornin I saddled up and lit out. 1 didn’t know for certain where I w as goin.hut I didn’t need any sorrel horses on my place and I felt like it was foreordained from the foundations that the one l now had would soon be looking to some other man for bis corn and fodder. I rid otT in a reckless and promiseus way down tli<* country towards the Flat woods, and rid and rid till way in the shank of the evenin before I found anybody that didn’t know all about the big sorrel with flax mane and tail. I* would seem j like be was one of the old acquaintances ! of everybody in the country but me. j Down there at the little Deer creek ! bridge I caught up with a tmvelin Methodist preacher drivin a little one- eyed brown mare. Somehow 1 didn’t j raley love to run one of the chosen few 1 Into a brush game rml see him gi: | scratched. But somebody had to MiflVr, I and I lowed it mought as well be a j ptall-fed country preacher as a plain, blunt former like me. So 1 throwed out my hook and line and the preacher be took the bait. It was to be a square even trade and no questions asked, but about that time w ho should ride up but Jule Nabors—which he had likewise also heard the news by now. “Hello, Bufe.” says Jule, “I sec you got him out of the well, semewbat dis figured, hut still in the ring.” Well, that preacher want no natural- born fool—which I couldn’t sn same, you understand, for Jule Nabors —and consequentially ho caught on and liaeked down from the trade and driv pff in a trot. We then rid on together for a few miles—nv* and Jule whilst J give out my general oj nions to him in plain United States, without any Sunday school trinimins to speak of. “Any man that would come into a game and gum up the cards in that way, Jule,” says I, “is moan enough to hit his firstborn baby, lie would cut down young corn and graze a billy goat on liis grandmother’s grave t ) save fodder.” And blamed if he wouldn’t. TWO HUNDRED GRANDCHILDREN ARP ON GOOD PLANS. f Conuertlrut Man Who lias Nearly a Regi ment of LIc.crndantn. Uevi Bradshaw, who lives in the Sparks district, in Killingly, Conn., has such a large family that he cannot count his grandchildren, says the New York World. Bradshaw emigrated from Canada nnd has lived in Killingly 1.1 years. He is now in his 70th year. He has been married three times and is the father of 41 chidren, 40 of whom arc now living. By his first wife he had six chidren, including a pair of twins. His second wife bore him 24 children, half of whom were twins, llis present wife presented him with 11 children. Bradshaw was not 14 years old when lie married the first time. The eldest son is now 44 and has several children and grandchildren. Twenty-nine of the old man’s sons and daughters are married and all have children. Tho grandfather does not know just how- large his family of grandchildren and great grandchildren has become. He can enumerate up to l.">0, but is in the dark as to the remainder. He estimates that they may run up to 200 or so. The Killingly patriarch married his last wife in Danielson 13 years ago. Only one out of her 11 children has died. The death occurred at birth three weeks ago. The rest are healthy and robust, like the father. Mr. Brad shaw is believed to be the banner father of New England and the banner grand father of the United States. Tolls What Should Bo Dono and How to Do It Kcrp Your Ilookn Ilalanred—Iloworer, If tlio Cook or tho Cow Leave* Yoo Needn't Record It—They'll Come Hark. It is a good plan for a man to balance up his books once or twice in awhile and see how the aeeountstands. 1 don’t mean his money accounts, nor Lis lo one makes prices go up, we will b* the sufferers. Beckon I w ill have to go bark to farming again. There are a. good many of us in the same fix Hint the fellow was w ben he beard that the town bank bad broke—ran nil Hie way home to see bow many of its bills lie had. When be got home be found he didn’t have any bills on that bank nor any other bank. When our bank failed in Cortemville last year Tom Lyon took on and lamented more than anybody. He almost cried. I took him aside nnd asked him how much he had on de posit in that bank. “Nary dollar,” said lie; "nary dollar, but if I had had any! debts and credits, but his blessings and afflictions. In doing this be should tote money, major, it would have In'en in fair w ith himself and his Creator. He there, nnd that's what the matter with should not magnify his troubles nor minify his blessings and privileges. If 100 is the maximum on either side, then light ufllictioiis, which are but for a moment, as Paul says, should not be set down at 73. If the cook quits and the cow runs away, I wouldn’t put it me. But hope is a good invention—and “tied tempers the wind to the shorn lamb,” and "the Lord loveth whom He chnsteneth,” nnd “sufficient unto the day Is the evil thereof.” And so I’m not going to cross the bridge liefore down at all, for both have come back I get to it, I dug a little basketful WANTED FURTHER INSTRUCTION Had Fod the Parrot, Hut She Was Hun gry Again. \Ye are nil more or less familiar with fellows reined up with a hit in his just as I expected. Hope cancels n great many troubles. My turnip seed have hern in the grond IS days, with not a drop of rain to sprout them, but I am still hoping, and so 1 won’t put the tur nips dow n as a lost, crop—not yet I wont; some dog, with two legs or four, killed my peafowl while she was set ting, and I put that down at five, for it was a great aggravation, nnd it lasts a long time; nothing frets me more than cruelty to animals, except cruelty to children. I see young bucks driving fast horses jgist my house, and they press them to their utmost speed, and if the horse breaks they jerk him nnd whip him unmercifully, and think it is smart. I would like to see one of them Swapping Stock ".Night Onscen.” But to be certainly of course that w a s all vanity and vexation of spirit. The , sorrel horse was still tot in my saddle, i which didn’t suit me a Messed bit, and I was ruther imbecomin to him. Any- | how, 1 was then headin for' old man ] j Green Longmires' place, w here 1 lowed , to put up for the night. It was deep j dusk, I reckon, when one of the Mil ligan hoys—a secont cousin to John Andrew—come clatterin up behind me on a little, long-legged, round-bodied mule. By this time I had got plum rcekr | less, anyhow, so presently I made a pass nt him fora trade. We couldn't see the | stock nohow,sol told him I wouldsw.:;> with him like’ we hoys used to some times sw ap pocket kni ves at school—• i sight unseen, ”You are swapped with right nw::y | ipituediately,” says he, and we dis- , mounted and got down and changed saddles on the .spot. I then rid over to old man Longmire's and put up for the night. Next mormn j at the first blush of day 1 was in tie* j sadle and iny mule was headed for I home. But we hadn't put more than ten miles behind us before Dolly—as the j Milligans called her—was travelin on three feet. I raley do not know and l j wouldn’t try to say w hat was the mat ter with Dolly, but anyhow she was all j to pieces in her pegs and under pinmn. i The moon was up and everybody tin 1 went to bed when we got borne that night—Dolly Roin on -two pegs nnd men tot.in of the saddle. I then turned the mule down in the ; calf paster to see. if she would know | the difference la tween ten acres of level land and a hole in the ground, w hich she did. The next time I went to town I put in and swapped the mule, sight on- seen, to Gus Fannin for a half Jersey cow, v: th a steer calf, and give him seven dollars to hoot. A Curious Kind of Cow, According to promise I sent the mule In to him and he vent the cow nnd calf 1 out to me. But 1 now had nothin to show for our mare mule Kale but one cow, with a steer calf, and was out seven dollars to boot. Ko in ordenuent to pull for even, tin* next time I went to town I told (Jus Fannin I had it in good and deep for him. "That is a senndlous curious cow you poked off on me t he other day.(ius,"says that exasperating class of individuals who seem to feel that the simple, com mon sense of the world is centered in themselves, and that the rest of us are in need of guidance and direction in the simplest duties of life, says Harper’s the Magazine. Mr. H was a young man of this class. He was always painfully pro fuse. in details regarding anything he wished done. He had a parrot of which he was exceedingly fond, and when he was about to go abroad for a few months, leaving his bird behind him, he bored and exasperated bis fam ily ami friends w ith senseless details re garding the care of the parrot, and his last words, screeched from thy deck of the steamer that bore him away were: “Hi, Jim!” “What!” shouted the brother on the pi(*r. “Look out for my parrot!” came faint ly over the water. As if this was not enough, he had no sooner reached Liverpool than he sent the following cablegram to his brother, w'lio had assumed charge of the parrot: "Be sure nnd feed my parrot.” On receipt of this the infuriated brother cabled back at his brother'sex- l>ense: “I have fed her, but she is hungry again. AVhnt shall 1 do next?” mouth and a ehrek-rein drawn over his head and fastened somewhere, just to let him feel the agony for a few min utes. Good health in the family ought to Is- put down to-day at not less than 50, for that is the greatest blessing in life, and perhaps the least appreciated, until we get sick. One of our boys is sick now from the effects of sunstroke in Chattanooga a month ago, and Ills mother sat up with him all night last night, and her anxiety is very great. You see, he is her i>oy, and she knows It. There is never any doubt about who is the mother of a child. But 1 won’t put that down at more than 20 on the trouble side, for ho|>e comes in—Iiojk* that lie will be better to-morrow. Then, again, we are all out of jail, and I that is worth something. There are lots of folks in jail or in the lunatic asy lum or in the poorhonse, and that is a ; great affliction, and mighty nigh takes all the figures to count the misery. 1 met an old man In Arkansas who said: of Irish potatoes out of the weeds and grass the other day, and set it on the back piazza and old Sis Cow came along and eat them all up, but she didn't know any Wtter, and Sicily smiled, and said I would get it all back in milk, and so I didn't put that down, but it was very aggravating. May the Lord help us all to bear the ills of life.—Hill Arp, in At lanta Constitution. THE FABLED SALAMANDER. Marco Polo Raja That the Wool Is What We Call Asbestos. Chingintalas is also a province at the verge of the desert and tying between northwest and north. It has an extent of 1C days’Journey and belongs to Great Britain and has numerous towns and villages. There are three different races of |K*ople in it—Idolaters, Saracens and I some Nestorian Christians. At the northern extremity of this province there is a mountain in which are excel lent veins of steel and on ‘ . And you must know that in the same moun- - tain there is a vein of the substance from which salamander is made. For th“ real truth is that the salamander is ! no Iteast, as they allege in our part of the world, but is a substance found in the earth; and.I will tell you about it. Everybody must lie aware that it can be no animal's nature to live in fire, seeing that every animal is composed of all the four elements. Now I, Marco Polo, had a Turkish acquaintance of the name of Zurflcar, and lie was :i very clever fellow. And this Turk related how he had lived three years in that region on behalf of the great kaan, in order to procure those salamanders for him. He said that, the way they got them was by digging in that mountain till thev found a certain vein. The THE SPANISH BAYONET. ' Facts Atioat th<< Yurrtt Tree of Southern California. The yuccas, or Spanish bayonets, us they are most commonl called, are among the most characteristic plants of desert nnd semi-desert /.ones of Cali fornia, being found in nearly all the hot, dry parts of,the state where little rain falls. Strange ns it may seem, these tough, wiry-leaved plants be long to the same order in botany as do our beautiful hyacinths. lily of the valley, tulips, and gorgeously colored Mariposa F'ies or butterfly flowers, so characteristically represented in all parts of the state. And yet these yuccas are tough and hard in texture with sharp pointed leaves, often terminat ing in a tough thread, which hangs loosely from the end. Others grow to the size of large, but not graceful trees, often reaching fully 30 feet above the ground, as is the case with the tree yucca of the Mojave desert, groves of which may be seen at any time near the railroad between Mojave and Los Angeles. These, says the San Francisco Chron icle. are alioiit the only trees of any size found on the deserts of California until one gets high enough on the barren ranges to find the pinon pine, which grows hero and thereon the mountains, usually far below the rest of the pine trees. The flowers of the yuccas usual ly grow in immense bunches, often as much as four or five feet long, some times being borne straight at the a|»ex of a long, leafless stem, as in the tree yuccas, herding downward with the "eight of t'-« great bunch of flowers, which usually open in the evening. FOSSILS IN THE DAD LANDS. Da- Mr, Arp, I am 84 years old. Me and my | substance of this vein was then taken she Pitied him. Anri Thought the Country Would Do the Doctor (iood. One of the leading physicians of Washington is smail of staturennd very boyish in appearance, says I lie Star. A lady entered his office the other day, one of the bustling sort of women who never quit talking. “Boy,” she said, addressing the physi cian, "is the doctor in? But 1 can see he is not.” “He is in,” l>egaii the physician, but the visitor interrupted him. “Oh, he’s in, is he? Then he’s en gaged. I’ll wait. Does he allow you to sit nt his desk that wav?” “Madam?” “Oh, of course, you would say he does, i but I’ll warrant you'll catch it. if be sees ! you there. You look sort of pale. I ' should think the doctor would give you something to make you stronger, i * our ma ought to send you into the country. That would make you grow. ! How soon do you think the doctor 1 will he disengaged?” “Madame, I tried to tell you before j 1 do not think you can see the doctor to-day.” "Well, I’ll come next time I’m in i old 'oman have been livin’ together 02 years, and have 13 livin’ children and lots of grandchildren, and nary on - * hadn’t been culled to court for anything they’ve done—put that down—and you may say that me nnd her have Indongcd to the same Baptist church for 00 years, and all that time I have voted the demo cratic ticket—put Hint down.” "llain’t never Iwcn called to court.” Well, that’s a big thing—no lawsuits in the family, no crimes nor bonds nor jails. That is worth ten every day on th« credit side. Then there is |>cacc with the nalmrs, and good will .ill around is another liig thing. And hav ing a home and shade trees and vines and flowers and good water and gentle breezes and friends to come and go, and a faithful dog to warn intruders, and a Jersey cow—these are nil blessings that count up. And then there is the priv ilege of living in a Christian land, under Christian Jaws and rulers; and of goirg to church and worshiping God accord ing to our conscience. Our forefathers away hack couldn’t do that. Speaking of worshiping God reminds me of an ec centric friend who didn’t lielong to any church, but sometimes attended and paid devout attention. 1 met him on* Sabbath morning, walking fast in that direction, and I said: "Where are you going in such a hurry?" “I’m going to chursh,” said he; “go ing to church to worship God—not the preacher.” “Neither poverty nor riches!” That’s another blessing. Pinching jiovcrty we nnd crushed, nnd when so treated itdi vidos, os it were, into fillers of wool, which they set forth to dry. When dry these fillers were pounded In a great ecqqier mortar nnd then washed, so as to remove all the earth and to leave only the fibers like fillers of wool. Those were then spun nnd made into napkins. When first made these napkins are not very white, but by putting them into the fire for awhile they come out as white ns snow. And so. again, whenever they lieeome dirty they are bleached by helivg put In the fire. Now this, and naught else, is Hie truth about the salamander, and the people of the country all say the same. Any other account of the matter is fabu lous nonsense. And I may add tint they have nt Itonie a napkin of this stuff, which the grand kaan sent to the pope. —Noah Brooks, in Rt. Nicholas. BICYCLE AND PULPIT. DUrorcrlc* Recently Made In Snntli kola l>y I’rnf. Todd. There was brought to this place a few days ago the strangest collect ion of 1 Nines and |»ctrificntious that one could wish to see. says a Ilermosa (S. D.) let ter to the New York Sun. It was sent by the party of scientists under Prof. Todd, state geologist, who have lieen at work in the Bad Lands for some weeks and last week found a hill of tufa and volcanic ash which at intervals quakes and shakes. They have lieen for some time in the section lietwcen Wounded Knee creek and Battle creek, near the set'ne of the Pine Bulge affairs with the Sioux some years ago. They have found quantities of the fossilized remains of turtles, with shells from two to three feet in diameter, and of the hrontotherium, a hoglike animal from 12 to 14 feet in length, as well a.s the oredon, a prehistoric animal whose appearance was that of a sheep. The water in the region is saturated with clay, held in solution, and it re mains indefinitely without settling, giiing the water the color and consis tency of cream. This has lieen the cause of great suffering among the geo logists, as it has been almost impos sible to get water fit to drink. The light eolored clay buttes composing Iho en tire face of the country are nearly all wet. and arc so slippery that it is like walking up an incline of smooth iec to climb them. COULDN’T ENJOY THE COUNTRY town. But you ought to quit staving in * ,avo nevpr known nt our house, though this office and go into the country. Not looks like it is coming, nnd is almost that it is any of my business, hut 1 do hate to see hoys look so pale and puny.” She.disappeared, and the doctor is won dering v\hat she will say when she calls next time she conies into the city. Kmoklng Kills (jorma. Smoking is a preventative of disease, according ton celebrated Viennese pro fessor of chemistry. He estimate!; that the chances of a smoker catching diph theria, smallpox, cholera or other con tagious diseases whose germs are in haled through the throat and lungs, as compared to Hu* non-smoker, one in I'“ nn ‘l binmed if I ever would of thought twenty-eight. He asserts that unoking it about a man by the name of Fannin." | tends to check the development of bac- "Whnt in creation is the matter with teria and kill them. It is well known that cow?” says Gus. “Dud blame it, she ain’t got n single ! upper front tooth in her head,” says I— j which "as the solemn truth in regards to all cow kind. But Gus he was horned | nnd bred and buttered and lining up right these in town, you understand, Uund "hot be don’t know in regards to | animals and things would make a tre- mrndiiiH big Imok. So Gusjiventon to say, says he: “Ilorert to God, Bufe, I didn’t know but " hat the cow had a full set of teeth. I will give you hack the boot money if you "ill call it etc n and say nothin.” B ell, iM'in as it was (Jus, we called it even. Finally at last I have got that little half Jersey cow, with a steer calf, to show for our man* mule Kate, And If I can git forgiveness for tin* past, henceforth and forever I will do no more swnppin “sight onseen.” Bfl'I’S HANDEKF. X% liNpcrccl. The Friend Her face is Ivr fortune. The Enemy HmeInteresting! Made it herself, too, didn’t she?—Bay City (hat. that smoking is forbidden by physicians and employes in laboratories given over to the cultivation and propagation of germs of different diseases for experi ments. Smoke kills thcsi; minute or ganisms, and whntapplies touche mist’s workshop applies equally to the human liodv. French Thrifr. A French railway has hit upon a new source of revenue. In the future, peo ple who accompany their friends to any of the stations on that line to see them off will only In* admitted to the plat form on payment of a fee. of one penny. As thin railway is the largest in France, a considerable yearly (*um is expected to be derived from this source. Drnth-UritliiiK Cuim. Quick-firing gujis are more depended in hailing distance. If Mr. Bryan or Mr. McKinley or somebody don't do something very soon I don’t know whnt will lieeome of us. Somebody is to blame nliout all this depression, and if I knew who it was I would use language on them. A re publican friend told me the other day t.hnt it was the want of protection toour industries, and that McKinley would straighten it all out next year.' He said that Vermont had started the hall to rolling, and it would roll on from the Atlantic to the Pacific ocean. He lielleves that, and furthermore, that he will roll into our little |»ost office next year. That’s all right. He may put down five for hope on his credit side and I’ll sign his j>etition if hisside «ins, for he is about us clever a man as a re publican can lie, nnd that Is not flat tering him very much. But Vermont don’t prove anything, for they nil want protection up there where there is a little mill on every branch nnd water fall making fishhooks or hairpins or jews harps or siuqiender buckles oy somethijig. Just ^vnit till the west U heard from, when; oats are now selling for 13 cents a bushel and the railroads get seven eents a bushel for hauling them to market. What is protection going to do for them? A writer In the Boview of |{eviewn, a gold standard monthly, says he has just come from there and you might ns well sing psalms to a dead hot >e ns to try to convert them from the silver craze. He says that all the upon at the present day than extreme i ff 0 k! , ‘li literature you send them Is length of range, and in this resjieet * Mown Into the fire without reading. what Is considered Hie most wonderful of guns, |H*rhaps, is one of the Maxima, which can fire nit many as 000 shots a minute, nnd yet Is so light that a sol dier can carry It strapped to hiabaclc. The argument Is exhausted, and they are almost fighting mad. But what troubles some of us is that we are consumers. We don’t produce anything, and if fre« silver at sixteen Ifeaeaaelag the 'Wheel Is Like Railing at the Locomotive. It is only natural that the ubiquitous bicycle should have gotten into the pul pit—not literally, but jus a subject for sermons. Although the clerical stand- point is usually n consol votive and a more or less critical lone, yet of the many preachers who have touched on the subject of the wheel, few, so far as we are aware, have denounced it as an evil thing. They have spoken warning- ly of the abuses to which it may contrib ute, but have, ns a rule, recognized that its dangers, at their worst, are far out- weiglied by its benefits—a fact that shows the prevalence of dear judg ment and good common sense. “Bicycling,” said one well-known New York clergyman, “lias done much for the e good. It has made the enervated take out-door exercise. It has contributed to the spiritual good of the community. Half the religious doubts of the world have lieen dys peptic doubts. To possess moral health, mail needs physical health. Bicycling has helped intellectual progress by pro moting social Intercourse. It is giv ing us lie tier roads. In fact, we ean- not estimate the good done by the wheel. I thank God for it, nnd would canonize the inventor if 1 knew his name.” Denouncing the bicycle, from the pulpit or anywhere else. Is like railing at the railroad or the steamship. Every great mechanical invention, each new phase of development, brings to fallible humanity some opportunity of evil along with Its power for good. Shall we abandon the krt of writing because It has created t he crime of forgery ? Most we all ffo unclad because the apparel of sopie is sinfully ostentatious? It would almost as foolish to aiek toaliolish tb« steed of steel because now and then one rides It to perdition.—Munsey's Magazine, Wasted to Bo Like (ienrge. Willie Littleboy—I wish I had been George Washington. Papa—Why so, ray son? Willie—Why, papa, he couldn’t tell a lie, and so when be was visiting nnd was asked if he would like another piece of pie, instead of saying no just for the sake of being polite, be told the truth nnd said yea.—X. Y. World. Typewriter for the Pocket. A Denver traveling man lias perfected a pocket typewriter not much bigger than a watch. One Usuiln Who Mlascd tho Dally Visits of tho Patrol WaKon. That most city children thoroughly appreciate an outing in the country is well attested by the popularity of fresh- air parties and the efforts made by chil dren to be numbered among those taken on the trips. But there arc always ex ceptions, says the Philadelphia Becord. One exception "as a member of a fresh- air party which had been sent out into the country. He sat by himself, quiet, unmoved by all the glories of the place ■—disconsolate, discontented, miserable. Elliston Perot, one of Germantown’s kind citizens, who was with those in charge, determined that the street arabs should have a good time. He no ticed the little fellow and asked him why he didn’t go with the rest of them nnd have a good time. “Good time nothin’,” blurted out the boy. Then brightening up ns if Mr. Perot’s kind ness merited at least the graciousness of an explanation, he said: “You oughter live down in our alley. Why, • her patrol wagon sometimes comes five Hines a day.” There was a volume in that speech. That day could no more enjoy a day a way from the narrow courts and brick walls than we could the Garden of Eden if Father Adam’s heirs were put in possession again. But he was an exception. Life in the coun try is unalloyed delight to most csty children. ECONOMIZE ON LIONS. Iron Moldrr* Had Carefally Felt the Puk* He Pulse. “Going to start in business here?’’ re marked a man of sallow skin and sleep}' eves to a bright-looking young fellow, who sat beside him in a Cottage Grove avenue gripear, says the Chicago Post. “Yes, 1 have decided not to go to col lege,” the prospective business man went on to Kiy. “What would you ad vise me to do?” “Well, you know 1 am in the iron molding business. We do all kinds of Iron work—make those jockey hitching posts and iron fencing, cast-iron lions, nnd so forth. The business is all right, but just now I would advise a young man to not to go into it. Strike some thing staple—something the jKOple, l ave to have, rain or shine, hard times or gixsl times—then work it for all it’s worth. Let me give you a tip, my young friend, on my business. I have found that the first thing that the pub lic l>egins to economize in when hard times comes is east-iron lions.” I'renrli Westminster Abhry. Paris seems to l>e turning the Luxem burg garden into a sort of French West minster Abbey. The latest bust it is projxwed to set up there is that of Bainte Berne, the critic. Fortunately, in the mile or more of avenue between the palace nnd the observatory there Is room for all of Franee’s great men. If they are only aet clone enough to each other. ■ *4 ,4i ] 1 i.