The ledger. [volume] (Gaffney City, S.C.) 1896-1907, September 17, 1896, Image 3
THE LEDGER: GAFFNEY, S. C., SEPTEMBER 17, 1896.
f
DOWN ON ROCKY.
Tho Ono Gallus Statesman
Watching Iho Fencea
Is
Sign, of “At I 'Clint One Uurn Fool In tho
Hettloment »ncl Alnybo Two” — A
Itroud Streak of “Felonlouo
Hail Tack.”
Onet upon a time me anti my ('ncle
Jctiah Jernigan—which you under
stand the Jorni-
gans had then
mixed up and
married into
the Sanders
family till, by
gracious, you
.aoBf couldn'tscarce-
S" Cv ]y tell which
\ V> " ar which nnd
\ who ' v ®« who
> \ Y —we took n
trip, we did,
and went way over there into
the hill country of Georgy to
visit around amongst the fam
ily kinnery for a few weeks Now,
if in ease you ninylio mought not know
the .Terniirans, I will have to tell you in
regards to that stock of people that
they don’t have fits and they do have
reuse. As to my I'nele Josioh—well,
he don’t know anything for certain
when it comes to hooks and book
lenniin, but what little he don’t know
i 1 out mules and niggers, and horses
and people and things, was tore oat of
the records in the first, settlement of the
country.
••One Durn Fool at Teaat.”
Ilidin along through Georgy one long
summer day we sudclently come to
where there was two joinin farms, and
1 took I'tirticlar notice of two hn? fences
built so jam-up dost together till they
didn’t make a lane, nor a pig alley, nor
nothin, and says I to Uncle Jo«iah,
says I:
"What you reckon them fellows mean
by buildin two fences side by side so
clost together?” Soys Uncle Josiah to
me, rays he:
‘‘I don’t know anything for certiUn
as to this partidar case, Rufus, hut for
a eon:icon tiling and a general rule to
go by. y heiisoiriever you see two line
fences rupnin so dost together,yon can
most in generally always git out your
little notrlmok and set it down that
there is at least one durn fool in the
settlement, and maybe two.”
Snch “3 rloniom Rad Turk.”
In regards to the gentleman from
Iloely ( rede, there is one thing in par-
tlehir which \ou can find stickin out
si! 1 along the line so far back as the fam
ily records run. If I never do die till
trouble kills me I will live a long, 1-o-n-g
time, and old Methusalem, which the
good T iok tells ns about, would Ik* a
mere-kid compared to me. And I never
was no hand to peddle around and
g. ter other people with the trials and
i < ihiilat ions that come to me whilst the
1 c. ket i pasttin round.
Ilul. w hite people, 1 have had such a
hii ! : ti-cak of felonious bad luck here |
lately till I fed necessary compelled
to . | i ak ml the truth if it shames the !
de\ iI and unload on the patient and
1 mg Mifc'erin public. Some folks say
liny don’t believe in luck, but I do.
And in my own day and generation I
have had more hick of one sort, and
another hut mostly good luck—than
nn\ lii in white man. I do reckon, Jf
it ain’t lin k it looks like luck to |ne,
and there you tire at any rates,
On the very first rattle out of tho
boy which it was then along In the
first days of .limp if I remember right—
iSIcv Scroggins he rid up to the horse
rack at our house one day and hitched
a big fino-lookin sorrel horse, with flux
inane and tail. We passed the regktr
compliments in regards to the weather
and the crops, flung' in « few seotterln
remarks on the great question of poli
ties, nnd didn’t say narry word about
horse flesh and swappln stock, But
I recently when Blev mounted his horse
to return back home I couldn’t s^nnd
'It no longer. In the main time, you
understand, 1 hud sized up the big sor
rel on his general appearments, x.s it
were, and took a iiowrful likln to him.
So l told Blev, in my own flat-footed
fool way, that if he would rather have
my n an- mule Kate, than his horse he
enu Id ride a round by the lot and do some
fw nppin.
" > i ii are traded wit.li,” says Pier,
ai d by the time I got out to the lot he
l ad pulled off his saddle and turned
tin- In r e loose. And then in less time
than it takes me to tell it he had put
his Middle on the mule and lid off to
wards home in a gallop. About that
time the thought struck me that there
must be somethin dead up the creek In.
regards to my tine horse. Illev was so
quick on trigger—so easy to swap with,
and then in such a furious big hurry
to saddle the mule nnd hit the big r(«d
for hoine. But I looked the big sorrel
oicr and couldn't find n blemish any
where from foretop to fetlock.
S'even Foot Cnclor "Terryforms.”
That night 1 turned my horse loose
down into the calf paster, and when I
imi up , e\t inornin it come to puss that
lie had turned himself loose down into
an old well, which it want more than
mm n feet deep and he didn’t fall far
<*iuiugh to kill him. Naturally of course
by that time anybody could tell what
w; the matter with old son el. He
was moon-Pied. He couldn't see un
der In feet at night and didn't know a
It a acre calf paster from n hole in the
I'round. So there I was, us the man
a,\ in t he play, and then'was my fine
h"i e , eu feet under "terryforma,”
a Aunt Nancy Newton wen: wont to
m I called up the hands nnd we
I'itehed iii to dig' him out. We bad to
nt a tunnel and open n small mine be
fore we .. >t him out onest more on a
level with the broad bosom of the earth.
But (hulblnme the luck, In the main
linif it did look to me like every livln
L 11 I oi tin- settlement pnrticlnr
[litil. hud swnppin stock -had to
|ht along the big road by our
J bounc nnd see me and the bands tenrin
up the bowels of the earth togit my sor-
| rel horse out of the old well. Three or
! four of the lioys had to stop by long
I enough to see the show, and eonse-
j quentially aftir that 1 mought ns well
! to of put it in thu new sjuipci s. Before
the sun went down it was known for
miles and miles around that my bigsor-
! rel horse, w ith flax mane and tail, was
j blipd in a manner and didn’t/know a
ten-acre calf paster from a hole in
the ground. He was likewise also
mighty bad scarred and . kbit up, w hich
the same I dassent try to explain.
Bright and early the next inornin
I saddled up and lit out. 1 didn’t know
for certain where I w as goin.hut I didn’t
need any sorrel horses on my place
and I felt like it was foreordained from
the foundations that the one l now had
would soon be looking to some other
man for bis corn and fodder. I rid otT in
a reckless and promiseus way down tli<*
country towards the Flat woods, and
rid and rid till way in the shank of the
evenin before I found anybody that
didn’t know all about the big sorrel
with flax mane and tail. I* would seem
j like be was one of the old acquaintances
! of everybody in the country but me.
j Down there at the little Deer creek
! bridge I caught up with a tmvelin
Methodist preacher drivin a little one-
eyed brown mare. Somehow 1 didn’t
j raley love to run one of the chosen few
1 Into a brush game rml see him gi:
| scratched. But somebody had to MiflVr,
I and I lowed it mought as well be a
j ptall-fed country preacher as a plain,
blunt former like me. So 1 throwed
out my hook and line and the preacher
be took the bait. It was to be a square
even trade and no questions asked, but
about that time w ho should ride up but
Jule Nabors—which he had likewise
also heard the news by now.
“Hello, Bufe.” says Jule, “I sec you
got him out of the well, semewbat dis
figured, hut still in the ring.”
Well, that preacher want no natural-
born fool—which I couldn’t sn
same, you understand, for Jule Nabors
—and consequentially ho caught on and
liaeked down from the trade and driv
pff in a trot. We then rid on together
for a few miles—nv* and Jule whilst
J give out my general oj nions to him
in plain United States, without any
Sunday school trinimins to speak of.
“Any man that would come into a
game and gum up the cards in that way,
Jule,” says I, “is moan enough to hit his
firstborn baby, lie would cut down
young corn and graze a billy goat on liis
grandmother’s grave t ) save fodder.”
And blamed if he wouldn’t.
TWO HUNDRED GRANDCHILDREN ARP ON GOOD PLANS.
f
Conuertlrut Man Who lias Nearly a Regi
ment of LIc.crndantn.
Uevi Bradshaw, who lives in the
Sparks district, in Killingly, Conn., has
such a large family that he cannot
count his grandchildren, says the New
York World. Bradshaw emigrated
from Canada nnd has lived in Killingly
1.1 years. He is now in his 70th year.
He has been married three times and
is the father of 41 chidren, 40 of whom
arc now living. By his first wife he
had six chidren, including a pair of
twins. His second wife bore him 24
children, half of whom were twins,
llis present wife presented him with 11
children.
Bradshaw was not 14 years old when
lie married the first time. The eldest
son is now 44 and has several children
and grandchildren. Twenty-nine of
the old man’s sons and daughters are
married and all have children. Tho
grandfather does not know just how-
large his family of grandchildren and
great grandchildren has become. He
can enumerate up to l.">0, but is in the
dark as to the remainder. He estimates
that they may run up to 200 or so.
The Killingly patriarch married his
last wife in Danielson 13 years ago.
Only one out of her 11 children has
died. The death occurred at birth
three weeks ago. The rest are healthy
and robust, like the father. Mr. Brad
shaw is believed to be the banner father
of New England and the banner grand
father of the United States.
Tolls What Should Bo Dono and
How to Do It
Kcrp Your Ilookn Ilalanred—Iloworer, If
tlio Cook or tho Cow Leave* Yoo
Needn't Record It—They'll
Come Hark.
It is a good plan for a man to balance
up his books once or twice in awhile
and see how the aeeountstands. 1 don’t
mean his money accounts, nor Lis
lo one makes prices go up, we will b*
the sufferers. Beckon I w ill have to go
bark to farming again. There are a.
good many of us in the same fix Hint the
fellow was w ben he beard that the town
bank bad broke—ran nil Hie way home
to see bow many of its bills lie had.
When be got home be found he didn’t
have any bills on that bank nor any
other bank. When our bank failed in
Cortemville last year Tom Lyon took on
and lamented more than anybody. He
almost cried. I took him aside nnd
asked him how much he had on de
posit in that bank. “Nary dollar,” said
lie; "nary dollar, but if I had had any!
debts and credits, but his blessings and
afflictions. In doing this be should tote money, major, it would have In'en in
fair w ith himself and his Creator. He there, nnd that's what the matter with
should not magnify his troubles nor
minify his blessings and privileges. If
100 is the maximum on either side, then
light ufllictioiis, which are but for a
moment, as Paul says, should not be
set down at 73. If the cook quits and
the cow runs away, I wouldn’t put it
me.
But hope is a good invention—and
“tied tempers the wind to the shorn
lamb,” and "the Lord loveth whom He
chnsteneth,” nnd “sufficient unto the
day Is the evil thereof.” And so I’m
not going to cross the bridge liefore
down at all, for both have come back I get to it, I dug a little basketful
WANTED FURTHER INSTRUCTION
Had Fod the Parrot, Hut She Was Hun
gry Again.
\Ye are nil more or less familiar with fellows reined up with a hit in his
just as I expected. Hope cancels n great
many troubles. My turnip seed have
hern in the grond IS days, with not a
drop of rain to sprout them, but I am
still hoping, and so 1 won’t put the tur
nips dow n as a lost, crop—not yet I
wont; some dog, with two legs or four,
killed my peafowl while she was set
ting, and I put that down at five, for it
was a great aggravation, nnd it lasts a
long time; nothing frets me more than
cruelty to animals, except cruelty to
children. I see young bucks driving
fast horses jgist my house, and they
press them to their utmost speed, and if
the horse breaks they jerk him nnd
whip him unmercifully, and think it is
smart. I would like to see one of them
Swapping Stock ".Night Onscen.”
But to be certainly of course that w a s
all vanity and vexation of spirit. The ,
sorrel horse was still tot in my saddle,
i which didn’t suit me a Messed bit, and
I was ruther imbecomin to him. Any-
| how, 1 was then headin for' old man ]
j Green Longmires' place, w here 1 lowed ,
to put up for the night. It was deep j
dusk, I reckon, when one of the Mil
ligan hoys—a secont cousin to John
Andrew—come clatterin up behind me
on a little, long-legged, round-bodied
mule. By this time I had got plum rcekr |
less, anyhow, so presently I made a pass
nt him fora trade. We couldn't see the |
stock nohow,sol told him I wouldsw.:;>
with him like’ we hoys used to some
times sw ap pocket kni ves at school—• i
sight unseen,
”You are swapped with right nw::y |
ipituediately,” says he, and we dis- ,
mounted and got down and changed
saddles on the .spot.
I then rid over to old man Longmire's
and put up for the night. Next mormn j
at the first blush of day 1 was in tie* j
sadle and iny mule was headed for I
home. But we hadn't put more than
ten miles behind us before Dolly—as the j
Milligans called her—was travelin on
three feet. I raley do not know and l j
wouldn’t try to say w hat was the mat
ter with Dolly, but anyhow she was all j
to pieces in her pegs and under pinmn. i
The moon was up and everybody tin 1
went to bed when we got borne that
night—Dolly Roin on -two pegs nnd men
tot.in of the saddle.
I then turned the mule down in the ;
calf paster to see. if she would know |
the difference la tween ten acres of level
land and a hole in the ground, w hich she
did. The next time I went to town I
put in and swapped the mule, sight on-
seen, to Gus Fannin for a half Jersey
cow, v: th a steer calf, and give him
seven dollars to hoot.
A Curious Kind of Cow,
According to promise I sent the mule
In to him and he vent the cow nnd calf 1
out to me. But 1 now had nothin to
show for our mare mule Kale but one
cow, with a steer calf, and was out
seven dollars to boot. Ko in ordenuent
to pull for even, tin* next time I went
to town I told (Jus Fannin I had it in
good and deep for him.
"That is a senndlous curious cow you
poked off on me t he other day.(ius,"says
that exasperating class of individuals
who seem to feel that the simple, com
mon sense of the world is centered in
themselves, and that the rest of us are
in need of guidance and direction in the
simplest duties of life, says Harper’s
the Magazine.
Mr. H was a young man of this
class. He was always painfully pro
fuse. in details regarding anything he
wished done. He had a parrot
of which he was exceedingly fond, and
when he was about to go abroad for a
few months, leaving his bird behind
him, he bored and exasperated bis fam
ily ami friends w ith senseless details re
garding the care of the parrot, and his
last words, screeched from thy deck of
the steamer that bore him away were:
“Hi, Jim!”
“What!” shouted the brother on the
pi(*r.
“Look out for my parrot!” came faint
ly over the water.
As if this was not enough, he had no
sooner reached Liverpool than he sent
the following cablegram to his brother,
w'lio had assumed charge of the parrot:
"Be sure nnd feed my parrot.”
On receipt of this the infuriated
brother cabled back at his brother'sex-
l>ense:
“I have fed her, but she is hungry
again. AVhnt shall 1 do next?”
mouth and a ehrek-rein drawn over his
head and fastened somewhere, just to
let him feel the agony for a few min
utes.
Good health in the family ought to
Is- put down to-day at not less than 50,
for that is the greatest blessing in life,
and perhaps the least appreciated, until
we get sick. One of our boys is sick
now from the effects of sunstroke in
Chattanooga a month ago, and Ills
mother sat up with him all night last
night, and her anxiety is very great.
You see, he is her i>oy, and she knows It.
There is never any doubt about who is
the mother of a child. But 1 won’t put
that down at more than 20 on the
trouble side, for ho|>e comes in—Iiojk*
that lie will be better to-morrow.
Then, again, we are all out of jail, and
I that is worth something. There are
lots of folks in jail or in the lunatic asy
lum or in the poorhonse, and that is a
; great affliction, and mighty nigh takes
all the figures to count the misery. 1
met an old man In Arkansas who said:
of Irish potatoes out of the weeds and
grass the other day, and set it on the
back piazza and old Sis Cow came along
and eat them all up, but she didn't know
any Wtter, and Sicily smiled, and said
I would get it all back in milk, and so
I didn't put that down, but it was very
aggravating. May the Lord help us all
to bear the ills of life.—Hill Arp, in At
lanta Constitution.
THE FABLED SALAMANDER.
Marco Polo Raja That the Wool Is What
We Call Asbestos.
Chingintalas is also a province at the
verge of the desert and tying between
northwest and north. It has an extent
of 1C days’Journey and belongs to Great
Britain and has numerous towns and
villages. There are three different races
of |K*ople in it—Idolaters, Saracens and
I some Nestorian Christians. At the
northern extremity of this province
there is a mountain in which are excel
lent veins of steel and on ‘ . And
you must know that in the same moun-
- tain there is a vein of the substance
from which salamander is made. For
th“ real truth is that the salamander is
! no Iteast, as they allege in our part of
the world, but is a substance found in
the earth; and.I will tell you about it.
Everybody must lie aware that it can
be no animal's nature to live in fire,
seeing that every animal is composed of
all the four elements. Now I, Marco
Polo, had a Turkish acquaintance of the
name of Zurflcar, and lie was :i very
clever fellow. And this Turk related
how he had lived three years in that
region on behalf of the great kaan, in
order to procure those salamanders for
him. He said that, the way they got
them was by digging in that mountain
till thev found a certain vein. The
THE SPANISH BAYONET. '
Facts Atioat th<< Yurrtt Tree of Southern
California.
The yuccas, or Spanish bayonets, us
they are most commonl called, are
among the most characteristic plants of
desert nnd semi-desert /.ones of Cali
fornia, being found in nearly all the
hot, dry parts of,the state where little
rain falls. Strange ns it may seem,
these tough, wiry-leaved plants be
long to the same order in botany as do
our beautiful hyacinths. lily of the
valley, tulips, and gorgeously colored
Mariposa F'ies or butterfly flowers, so
characteristically represented in all
parts of the state. And yet these yuccas
are tough and hard in texture with
sharp pointed leaves, often terminat
ing in a tough thread, which hangs
loosely from the end. Others grow to
the size of large, but not graceful trees,
often reaching fully 30 feet above the
ground, as is the case with the tree
yucca of the Mojave desert, groves of
which may be seen at any time near the
railroad between Mojave and Los
Angeles.
These, says the San Francisco Chron
icle. are alioiit the only trees of any size
found on the deserts of California until
one gets high enough on the barren
ranges to find the pinon pine, which
grows hero and thereon the mountains,
usually far below the rest of the pine
trees. The flowers of the yuccas usual
ly grow in immense bunches, often as
much as four or five feet long, some
times being borne straight at the a|»ex
of a long, leafless stem, as in the tree
yuccas, herding downward with the
"eight of t'-« great bunch of flowers,
which usually open in the evening.
FOSSILS IN THE DAD
LANDS.
Da-
Mr, Arp, I am 84 years old. Me and my | substance of this vein was then taken
she Pitied him.
Anri Thought the Country Would Do the
Doctor (iood.
One of the leading physicians of
Washington is smail of staturennd very
boyish in appearance, says I lie Star. A
lady entered his office the other day, one
of the bustling sort of women who
never quit talking.
“Boy,” she said, addressing the physi
cian, "is the doctor in? But 1 can see he
is not.”
“He is in,” l>egaii the physician, but
the visitor interrupted him.
“Oh, he’s in, is he? Then he’s en
gaged. I’ll wait. Does he allow you to
sit nt his desk that wav?”
“Madam?”
“Oh, of course, you would say he does, i
but I’ll warrant you'll catch it. if be sees !
you there. You look sort of pale. I '
should think the doctor would give you
something to make you stronger, i
* our ma ought to send you into the
country. That would make you grow. !
How soon do you think the doctor 1
will he disengaged?”
“Madame, I tried to tell you before j
1 do not think you can see the doctor
to-day.”
"Well, I’ll come next time I’m in i
old 'oman have been livin’ together 02
years, and have 13 livin’ children and
lots of grandchildren, and nary on - *
hadn’t been culled to court for anything
they’ve done—put that down—and you
may say that me nnd her have Indongcd
to the same Baptist church for 00 years,
and all that time I have voted the demo
cratic ticket—put Hint down.”
"llain’t never Iwcn called to court.”
Well, that’s a big thing—no lawsuits in
the family, no crimes nor bonds nor
jails. That is worth ten every day on
th« credit side. Then there is |>cacc
with the nalmrs, and good will .ill
around is another liig thing. And hav
ing a home and shade trees and vines
and flowers and good water and gentle
breezes and friends to come and go, and
a faithful dog to warn intruders, and a
Jersey cow—these are nil blessings that
count up. And then there is the priv
ilege of living in a Christian land, under
Christian Jaws and rulers; and of goirg
to church and worshiping God accord
ing to our conscience. Our forefathers
away hack couldn’t do that. Speaking
of worshiping God reminds me of an ec
centric friend who didn’t lielong to any
church, but sometimes attended and
paid devout attention. 1 met him on*
Sabbath morning, walking fast in that
direction, and I said: "Where are you
going in such a hurry?"
“I’m going to chursh,” said he; “go
ing to church to worship God—not the
preacher.”
“Neither poverty nor riches!” That’s
another blessing. Pinching jiovcrty we
nnd crushed, nnd when so treated itdi
vidos, os it were, into fillers of wool,
which they set forth to dry. When dry
these fillers were pounded In a great
ecqqier mortar nnd then washed, so as
to remove all the earth and to leave only
the fibers like fillers of wool. Those
were then spun nnd made into napkins.
When first made these napkins are not
very white, but by putting them into
the fire for awhile they come out as
white ns snow. And so. again, whenever
they lieeome dirty they are bleached by
helivg put In the fire.
Now this, and naught else, is Hie truth
about the salamander, and the people
of the country all say the same. Any
other account of the matter is fabu
lous nonsense. And I may add tint they
have nt Itonie a napkin of this stuff,
which the grand kaan sent to the pope.
—Noah Brooks, in Rt. Nicholas.
BICYCLE AND PULPIT.
DUrorcrlc* Recently Made In Snntli
kola l>y I’rnf. Todd.
There was brought to this place a
few days ago the strangest collect ion of
1 Nines and |»ctrificntious that one could
wish to see. says a Ilermosa (S. D.) let
ter to the New York Sun. It was sent
by the party of scientists under Prof.
Todd, state geologist, who have lieen at
work in the Bad Lands for some weeks
and last week found a hill of tufa and
volcanic ash which at intervals quakes
and shakes. They have lieen for some
time in the section lietwcen Wounded
Knee creek and Battle creek, near the
set'ne of the Pine Bulge affairs with
the Sioux some years ago.
They have found quantities of the
fossilized remains of turtles, with shells
from two to three feet in diameter, and
of the hrontotherium, a hoglike animal
from 12 to 14 feet in length, as well a.s
the oredon, a prehistoric animal whose
appearance was that of a sheep.
The water in the region is saturated
with clay, held in solution, and it re
mains indefinitely without settling,
giiing the water the color and consis
tency of cream. This has lieen the
cause of great suffering among the geo
logists, as it has been almost impos
sible to get water fit to drink. The light
eolored clay buttes composing Iho en
tire face of the country are nearly all
wet. and arc so slippery that it is like
walking up an incline of smooth iec to
climb them.
COULDN’T ENJOY THE COUNTRY
town. But you ought to quit staving in * ,avo nevpr known nt our house, though
this office and go into the country. Not looks like it is coming, nnd is almost
that it is any of my business, hut 1 do
hate to see hoys look so pale and puny.”
She.disappeared, and the doctor is won
dering v\hat she will say when she calls
next time she conies into the city.
Kmoklng Kills (jorma.
Smoking is a preventative of disease,
according ton celebrated Viennese pro
fessor of chemistry. He estimate!; that
the chances of a smoker catching diph
theria, smallpox, cholera or other con
tagious diseases whose germs are in
haled through the throat and lungs, as
compared to Hu* non-smoker, one in
I'“ nn ‘l binmed if I ever would of thought twenty-eight. He asserts that unoking
it about a man by the name of Fannin." | tends to check the development of bac-
"Whnt in creation is the matter with teria and kill them. It is well known
that cow?” says Gus.
“Dud blame it, she ain’t got n single
! upper front tooth in her head,” says I—
j which "as the solemn truth in regards
to all cow kind. But Gus he was horned
| nnd bred and buttered and lining up
right these in town, you understand,
Uund "hot be don’t know in regards to
| animals and things would make a tre-
mrndiiiH big Imok. So Gusjiventon to
say, says he:
“Ilorert to God, Bufe, I didn’t know
but " hat the cow had a full set of teeth.
I will give you hack the boot money if
you "ill call it etc n and say nothin.”
B ell, iM'in as it was (Jus, we called it
even. Finally at last I have got that
little half Jersey cow, with a steer calf,
to show for our man* mule Kate, And
If I can git forgiveness for tin* past,
henceforth and forever I will do no
more swnppin “sight onseen.”
Bfl'I’S HANDEKF.
X% liNpcrccl.
The Friend Her face is Ivr fortune.
The Enemy HmeInteresting! Made
it herself, too, didn’t she?—Bay City
(hat.
that smoking is forbidden by physicians
and employes in laboratories given over
to the cultivation and propagation of
germs of different diseases for experi
ments. Smoke kills thcsi; minute or
ganisms, and whntapplies touche mist’s
workshop applies equally to the human
liodv.
French Thrifr.
A French railway has hit upon a new
source of revenue. In the future, peo
ple who accompany their friends to any
of the stations on that line to see them
off will only In* admitted to the plat
form on payment of a fee. of one penny.
As thin railway is the largest in France,
a considerable yearly (*um is expected
to be derived from this source.
Drnth-UritliiiK Cuim.
Quick-firing gujis are more depended
in hailing distance.
If Mr. Bryan or Mr. McKinley or
somebody don't do something very soon
I don’t know whnt will lieeome of us.
Somebody is to blame nliout all this
depression, and if I knew who it was
I would use language on them. A re
publican friend told me the other day
t.hnt it was the want of protection toour
industries, and that McKinley would
straighten it all out next year.' He
said that Vermont had started the hall
to rolling, and it would roll on from
the Atlantic to the Pacific ocean. He
lielleves that, and furthermore, that he
will roll into our little |»ost office next
year. That’s all right. He may put
down five for hope on his credit side
and I’ll sign his j>etition if hisside «ins,
for he is about us clever a man as a re
publican can lie, nnd that Is not flat
tering him very much. But Vermont
don’t prove anything, for they nil want
protection up there where there is a
little mill on every branch nnd water
fall making fishhooks or hairpins or
jews harps or siuqiender buckles oy
somethijig. Just ^vnit till the west U
heard from, when; oats are now selling
for 13 cents a bushel and the railroads
get seven eents a bushel for hauling
them to market. What is protection
going to do for them? A writer In the
Boview of |{eviewn, a gold standard
monthly, says he has just come from
there and you might ns well sing
psalms to a dead hot >e ns to
try to convert them from the
silver craze. He says that all the
upon at the present day than extreme i ff 0 k! , ‘li literature you send them Is
length of range, and in this resjieet * Mown Into the fire without reading.
what Is considered Hie most wonderful
of guns, |H*rhaps, is one of the Maxima,
which can fire nit many as 000 shots a
minute, nnd yet Is so light that a sol
dier can carry It strapped to hiabaclc.
The argument Is exhausted, and they
are almost fighting mad.
But what troubles some of us is that
we are consumers. We don’t produce
anything, and if fre« silver at sixteen
Ifeaeaaelag the 'Wheel Is Like Railing at
the Locomotive.
It is only natural that the ubiquitous
bicycle should have gotten into the pul
pit—not literally, but jus a subject for
sermons. Although the clerical stand-
point is usually n consol votive and a
more or less critical lone, yet of the
many preachers who have touched on
the subject of the wheel, few, so far as
we are aware, have denounced it as an
evil thing. They have spoken warning-
ly of the abuses to which it may contrib
ute, but have, ns a rule, recognized that
its dangers, at their worst, are far out-
weiglied by its benefits—a fact that
shows the prevalence of dear judg
ment and good common sense.
“Bicycling,” said one well-known
New York clergyman, “lias done much
for the e good. It has made the
enervated take out-door exercise. It
has contributed to the spiritual good
of the community. Half the religious
doubts of the world have lieen dys
peptic doubts. To possess moral health,
mail needs physical health. Bicycling
has helped intellectual progress by pro
moting social Intercourse. It is giv
ing us lie tier roads. In fact, we ean-
not estimate the good done by the
wheel. I thank God for it, nnd would
canonize the inventor if 1 knew his
name.”
Denouncing the bicycle, from the
pulpit or anywhere else. Is like railing
at the railroad or the steamship. Every
great mechanical invention, each new
phase of development, brings to fallible
humanity some opportunity of evil
along with Its power for good. Shall we
abandon the krt of writing because It
has created t he crime of forgery ? Most
we all ffo unclad because the apparel of
sopie is sinfully ostentatious? It would
almost as foolish to aiek toaliolish
tb« steed of steel because now and then
one rides It to perdition.—Munsey's
Magazine,
Wasted to Bo Like (ienrge.
Willie Littleboy—I wish I had been
George Washington.
Papa—Why so, ray son?
Willie—Why, papa, he couldn’t tell a
lie, and so when be was visiting nnd was
asked if he would like another piece of
pie, instead of saying no just for the
sake of being polite, be told the truth
nnd said yea.—X. Y. World.
Typewriter for the Pocket.
A Denver traveling man lias perfected
a pocket typewriter not much bigger
than a watch.
One Usuiln Who Mlascd tho Dally Visits
of tho Patrol WaKon.
That most city children thoroughly
appreciate an outing in the country is
well attested by the popularity of fresh-
air parties and the efforts made by chil
dren to be numbered among those taken
on the trips. But there arc always ex
ceptions, says the Philadelphia Becord.
One exception "as a member of a fresh-
air party which had been sent out into
the country. He sat by himself, quiet,
unmoved by all the glories of the place
■—disconsolate, discontented, miserable.
Elliston Perot, one of Germantown’s
kind citizens, who was with those in
charge, determined that the street
arabs should have a good time. He no
ticed the little fellow and asked him
why he didn’t go with the rest of them
nnd have a good time. “Good time
nothin’,” blurted out the boy. Then
brightening up ns if Mr. Perot’s kind
ness merited at least the graciousness
of an explanation, he said: “You
oughter live down in our alley. Why,
• her patrol wagon sometimes comes five
Hines a day.” There was a volume in
that speech. That day could no more
enjoy a day a way from the narrow
courts and brick walls than we could
the Garden of Eden if Father Adam’s
heirs were put in possession again. But
he was an exception. Life in the coun
try is unalloyed delight to most csty
children.
ECONOMIZE ON LIONS.
Iron Moldrr* Had Carefally Felt the Puk*
He Pulse.
“Going to start in business here?’’ re
marked a man of sallow skin and sleep}'
eves to a bright-looking young fellow,
who sat beside him in a Cottage Grove
avenue gripear, says the Chicago Post.
“Yes, 1 have decided not to go to col
lege,” the prospective business man
went on to Kiy. “What would you ad
vise me to do?”
“Well, you know 1 am in the iron
molding business. We do all kinds of
Iron work—make those jockey hitching
posts and iron fencing, cast-iron lions,
nnd so forth. The business is all right,
but just now I would advise a young
man to not to go into it. Strike some
thing staple—something the jKOple,
l ave to have, rain or shine, hard times
or gixsl times—then work it for all it’s
worth. Let me give you a tip, my
young friend, on my business. I have
found that the first thing that the pub
lic l>egins to economize in when hard
times comes is east-iron lions.”
I'renrli Westminster Abhry.
Paris seems to l>e turning the Luxem
burg garden into a sort of French West
minster Abbey. The latest bust it is
projxwed to set up there is that of
Bainte Berne, the critic. Fortunately,
in the mile or more of avenue between
the palace nnd the observatory there Is
room for all of Franee’s great men. If
they are only aet clone enough to each
other.
■ *4
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