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gfftf*"'*M?J. ,".I.111 11 . MUCH ADO. : When you think of it, friend, tho worries, The troubles th:tt wear you out, Aro often tho veriest trille?. That conation sense would flout; They write tho forehead with wrinkles, They how tho shoulder with care, ?et a little patience would show you, friend. Just how thek weight to hear. . 3t'n somobtnlv lato to breakfast And the col?ce growing cold ? ?lt's a hutton that isn't fastened, Or a string loo slight to hold \ And time and temperare wasted, And fun ls driven away, /vml ftp '?". th(} V.?Uit'Of Kviit?viiOss, Thc home ls spoiled for a nay. .A ixl the childi en make a litter Ol 1ovs upon tho floor. And .hilmnv forvcts lo wipe his feet. Ami Susi? lo shut the door: Ami who that heals you scolding, Wh'ch alter awhile you'll rue. Wet <! O'-in those IKM-UK-SS little ones Just lill the world to you? Tis well that ?tul and the angels Know better far than we, ? . . , ii ?I hat our conscience and our conduct, friends, Ko seldom quito agree. .Tis well Unit 'he Lord is patient, And sees, mit what wo are, Hut what, ut our best, we nie iain to he, Unmoved hy Strife and jar. Ah me! for the lillie trilles, Of which ?air hitler brew .DI sorrow and trouble ls often mixed, As weakly, with iniicli ado, ? We meet tho smaller worries, That are (?ulekly out of sight. When the sweep ?if a dark winged ange. Obscures our lives with night. A BANK ROB??lt. About lour years ago, while I was paying teller of ibo Stale National bunk. In a flourishing town iii the west, the events I am about to relato oe? tuned. Tho story is almost exactly true, being changed here only in un ' important events. A partial account of tho affair was published in a local paper, and some of my readers may bu ve seen it. When i left Ohio I crated up my bicycle, and sent it along by express, lt arrived In perfect order, anti when the roads were in good condition I took many a pleasant spin after banking One summer morning, after a de lightful after-breakfast run in the brac .Ing mountain air, I rodo up to tho bank, ' ?nd ha vi nu cleaned and oiled my bicy cle, B'.ort d it in one of tho rooms at the lear of ll?j Laiikin? otlice. Then I went leisurely about my work. The first th nu to ?io was toopoo the vault, a substantial structure of masonry with iron dcors and bracings, and a floor of I square blocks of stone. } The- vault, was not mado specially -' ?drong against burg?ais, for tho cash .jVafi i-ept in the sale within. Tho Vault > was intended only to protect tho books I Bud rucoids by fire. Any mere bungler )or a crack.'man could have got into it Cit i mi hour or two. The sate, however, ?.was as m arly burglar proof as tho best 'eteel and latest improved locks could make lt. ' The vault had two doors, an inner und an omer, which were fastened by combination locks. Between tho two doors was it stone floor, like that inside of tho vault. I swung tho outer door open without dilllculty, but when 1 pulled tho inner door, to my surprise it scraped on the stone floor, and considerable force was required to pull it over the obstruction, ?nd swing it ?ni?y open. What w.'s Ibo causo of thi< obstruc tion? Had the hinges ot' (he door been worn so as to let lt down? Had faulty construction Iii the floor allowed ono of the .stones to slip gradually out of place and interfere vsith the door? Had thc building been settling and the vault doors thrown out of level? Or-and my heart beat faster at the thought had como one been tampering with the lunges? . In any case there was need of a thor ough investigation, but what was lo be done? The cashier was out of town; and the president had told mo the night before that he would leave on the morn ing's train for Enterprise, tojsottlo up a disputed balance with our correspond ent there. Thc absence of both ofllcers ieft me in first authority. ) Hut before 1 decidod what, to do, the safe.must be examined to see if it had j been tampered with, I hurriedly on [tered the vault, and scanned the exte rior of the safe. Xo marks of violence i appeared. The door was protected by ja time lock, and by three combination Hocks to hold the bolls after tho time Hocks bad released them. Tho clocks ?bad been set for 8 ii'clock, and were .now run down. The tumblers of the .combinations had clicked in quick time as I hurriedly whirled the knobs, Hills, gold and silver lay undisturbed, just as 1 had left them the evening before. Now what was tobo done? 1 did not 1 ko to resume responsibilities which properly belonged to some one else, j A ml here was a problem which possibly concerned the very life of the bank'. Unless 1 was forced by circumstances, thc solving of it was not for me. I gave myself three minutes for a d?cision. The cashier was out of reach, and the president was now oil his way i?l? the .station. Jf 1 could reach tho station before the train left, I could bring him back. The train was due ul B.55.'and the clock now marked 8.'>o. j Tho station was about four miles from the town. When the railroad was built it was fourni necessary to run [flown the va:ley; and so the town which lay back on the tableland was left that distance to ;he west, it would be im possible to get a hoi se and bu&gy, and Wt to the station in the time allotted. My bicycle! I could try it, there was a Ch. ncc ot success. Tile tv? o other clerks hail conic into into the bank, und were at woik at ?their desks, I got out the cash needed at the counter, remarked quietly to tho /clerks that 1 ?as ?oing out for a few minutes, und told the receiving teller 1o attend lo my wintlow meantime. Then I slipped on my riding .shoe-), rau .my machine out of the tear door and .mounted. Tho road was good, and 1 wa? nerved to great excition, and al though it. required twenty minutes of as bani work as I ever did, I succeeded. The dark roof ol' the low station bul ding came m sight, just as up th.; valley 1 saw the smoko of the approach ing nain. 1 was not too lute. 1 whisked up to tho station and hurried to Mr. Axtell, the president, who, valise 3n hand, was looking up the track at "?lie train. I related to him all there was to tell in a very few word'-. Ile asked mo a few questions and then said; 'Of course I wilt go back to tow n, You return by your bicycle, and 1 will follow by the stage. Go to the bank and attend to business as usual. When 1 get in we will decide what to do.' 1 made my return trip with all possi ble speed, and took my place at the teller window. For twenty minutes "?business quietly proceeded. Mr. Axtell came leisurely into thc Muk soon after. He went into the .vs-.ult, examined the door, and he ran fiU hand along the cracks between the ;;*tonea. A moment's Inspection satisfied ..bim. Ho came out and told mu that .lie was convinced some ono was tunnel' Jt&H under the vault. Ho asked mc io hi inforin tho clerks, and to koop a close watch over everything until ho'should c?mo'u?ck, and hurried away. He presently returned with two of tho bank's directors whom Ho took into the vault, pointed .out tho suspicious appearance, and explained his theory ot tho cause. The bank building stood on the southeast corner of tho Interjection of two principle streets. At tho rear was an alley, and across that a largo brick blinding, wu ibo east side, touching the bai?k, was a finnie structure occu pied by a clothing linn. Beyond, with a three foot passage Intervening, stood an adobe house. Tho passage way ran through from street to alley. In the building across tho alley there was no opportunity, Mr. Axtell thought, for working a tunnel; therefore lie con cluded tho attack would be from tho east. Tho members of tho Him next door were old citizens, and not to bo suspected. Of tho adobe house he knew nothing. This, then, was the first point for examination. Mr. Axtell put a revolver in his pocket, and going out the back door of our building walked up tho alley to the adobo house, and entered a rickety door, which ho found unlocked. Herc ho discovered a bare, empty room, evi dently long occupied, lint on the do >r were trucks of muddy boots. Upon examination ho found that the flooring in the corner of tho room was cut through, and a trap door had been placed there. At one side of the door an iron staple was driven, apparently serving as a handle for lilting it. He raised tho trap cautiously, and saw a barrel set Into the ground poiullug In the direction of Hie bank. Then ho lowered tho trap carefully, and as care fully left tho bulk"lug. There was no longer any doubt. Tho tunnel was there, and tho robbers might be ready to make their final movement on tho bank that very night, lt was scarcely probable that they worked in tho tunnel during the day. at leash, now ttiat they had got so near tho vault. At night no ono would bo in tho bank, and they could work without rear ot being heard. As it was probable that a watch was kept over our movements, our prepara tions for the capture of tho burglars were deferred until after dark. During ino afternoon we worked at our desits as usual, and left tho. building for our bornes at the usual time, having re ceived instructions from Axtell to re port again at 8 o'clock. We were to como up tho alley, which was always very dark, and quietly enter tho rear room of the bank. Meanwhile tho president had seen the sheriff, who was to come to the bank wit h lour deputies at 8 o'clock. When I cautiously stepped through thc back door into tho building a little before 8, 1 found theso men already there. The other clerks came in promptly'. Two men wero sent to a room ni the second story of a building across tho street, whero they could watch the adobe. If they saw any ono enter tho passage way, they were to notify us by drawing a match across tho window and immediately blowing it out. Each of the clerks, beginning with tho book keeper, was to bo stationed fora certain time near the vault door, to listen for sounds from thc tunnel, and to walch for thc signal across the way. The rest of tho party were to remain lu tho back room, really to respond to any call. Thus the night was commenced. Tho time dragged along slowly enough. We could only sit in silence. No sound had reached us from the tunnel, and no communication had been made to us by thc clerks in tho banking room, up to ll o'clock. At that hour another man was to relieve thu Hist watcher, and tho exchange was silently made. The bookkeeper had heard nothing below, and had seen no signal from the opposite ?ida of the street. Again tho time dragged. Nothing unusual was reported by the watcher. Ono o'clock came, and il was now my turn to relieve him. I took my place nuder the counter. Alter a brief con u.ultatiou by Mr. Axtell and the sheriff, it was decided it was probable the rob bers were at work in the tunnel, and if they were they would leave it at an early hour. Thc sheriff and two of his deputies took their stations outside, two of them going into the alley, and Hie other into the street in front, thus guarding both ends. At about two o'clock I heard a dis tinct noise from under the lloor near tho vault dcor, ll was a steady suc cession of strokes, as in digging, min gled with a slight sound of tools. 1'resently carno a noise as though somo heavy body was being lifted or forced. I crept to the front of tho vault, and could catch the sounds very distinctly. They seemed lo come from inside. Thc robbers wero either in tho vault, or just about to en tor I Now was the time to act. The other end of the tunnel was guarded, and at this end, of course, there was no possi bility of escape. I stepped back two or three paces, drew my revolver, and tired three shots in quick succession through the lloor at the point at which 1 judged the tunnel must terminate. There was only a slight chance of hitting any one in the tunnel, but the robbers in their fright would undoubt edly rush for the other end, to lind themselves confronted by the sheriff and his assistants. As those in the rear room were hurrying forward, I called to them lo run to the a'lobe. We found thc sheriff and his deputies on the alert, as they had bearii my firing and waiting developments. The men who had been stationed across tho way quickly came over. I explained as bi Icily as possible whait had occured, and, ri volv?is in hand, we surrounded the adobe. Alter walting some minutes wo be came impatient, and the sherill deter* mined tu enter. Hark lanterns were procured, mid me sheriff directed ns to tobo iv him closely. Wo crowded into the passage way, Hie sheriff at the head. When the door was reached, he Hung it open without a moment's hesitation, threw up Iiis righi hand with cocked revo.ver while two deputies immediately behind hun reached forward with nark lanterns, and Hashed the light throughout the room. Tbere was un instant of intense suspense. Tuen tue sheriff said quietly, There's not a soul inside.' All hurried iuto the room. The trap door was down. There was no other door, window or opening of our kind by which au oseapo might havo been made. Tho robbers must bo still in tho tunnel. It was suggested that they had built a branch tunnel for escaping If discovered; butthoro seemed to bo no place In tho vicinity suitable for such an exit. Tho chances wero that they were still Inside, waiting, perhaps, an opportunity to make a rust? tnrough tbe trap door. Wo listoned for a fow minutes, but heard no sound. Then the sheriff stop ped fo ward to tho trap door, and quickly Hf linc: lt, threw the rays of a / dark lautem down the hole. As far as the light readied, nothing could bo seen but the black walls of tho tunnel. Then tho sheriff leaned forward and shouted down. .Como up ono at a timo end surren' dor, and wo Avon't hurt youl? There was no aiiswei', wo waited a little, and thon shouted again as bofore, adding, not altogether politely, 'This is tho last chance you'll got. Don't raako fools of yoursulvfifd? Tho echo of his volco was tho only response. In silence wo waited about tho tunnel's mouth, but heard not tho slightest indication that any ono was Inside. Tho sheriff threw down the door with angry impatience. What next? How wore wo to capturo thom? Should we have to starve them out, or smoke them out? Wo divided ourselves Into watches, two mon wore to stand guard for one hour, while tho others retired to tho bank to snatch a little sleep, if- possible. In tho meantime several policemen, having heard tho il ring, had como to tho vicinity of the adobe, Ono of them stationed himself in tho passage, and two moro took their stands in tho street and alloy ready to spread tho alarm If an escapo was attempted. Before leav ing tho watch to their duty we fastened the trap door down securely. From this time until 8.30 in tho morning nothing occurred. Tho Watchers wero regularly relieved, and none of them had reported any signs of life in the tunnel, lint as thc bank's business must go on without interrup tion, lt was necessary ta open the vault. Tliero was less chance of tho robbers trying to escape that way than by tho other end ot the tunnel. When listen ing to them working I hard fy supposed that they had got into the vault. De sides, lt was now broad day, the streets wero full of people, and tho bold cracks man must know that wo would be pre pared for them. Half a dozen men gathered about tho vault door, fully armed aud ready for any emergency. As I was tho one most tamlllar with tho combinations on tho vault doors, lt was my duty to unlock them. 1 did not relish tho posi tion of first target for a bullet from tho inside, but mustered up my courage, said nothing, and went to work. The outer door 1 drew open without hesita tion, the inner door was tho ono to be feared. When tho bolts of tho inner door had been thrown back i found that it scarcely could bo moved, as tho stone under lt was raised moro than before. At length three of the strongest in the party managed to forcd it open, and tho inside of the vault could be seen. No one was there. But the door showed a startling condition of affairs. 'Hie largo stone in front of the safe was raised up at ono side nearly two feet, l t was supported by jack screws which had been used to force it up. In ten minutes moro the robbers, if unin terrupted, would havo been in the vault. Unfortunately for them lu their workings ol* tho previous night they had accidently displaced the stone that ran under the inner door, or their plot might not have been discovered till too late to arrest it. After a few minutos of surmise and speculation, Mr. Axtell stepped up to the hole and shouted down tho same proposition tim sheriff had made at the other end. There was no response whatever. Ho then directed ino to open tho sato and proceed with tho business of the day as usual. Two men wero left on guard in tho vault, and the rest were stationed in the back room. All who knew of tho situation were cautioned lo keep it to themselves, and very lew of our customers that morn ing knew wdiat was going on under their feet. At about 10.30 ono of the men in tho rear room carno lo tho door and called in Mr. Axtell. There he heard as bold a proposition as man ever made. One of tho guards had volunteered to go down into tho tunnel! He was a deputy sheriff, a Moxie m named Jo?o Chare*/, wdio, becoming impatient that, tho rob bers did not show themselves, deter mined lo stir them up in their own Quarters. He was a daring, i eek less fellow, accustomed all his lile to deeds ol vio lence. Ile lived on excitement, and was evor restless when not on the trail of some horse thief or murderer, ile know the risk of going into Hie tunnel, but said ho had as good a chance as the robbers-as a matter of fact, in such an encounter every advantage was on their side-and that was all he wanted. The rest of the men, brave though they were, shrugged their shoulders, and de clined underground warfare. Chare/, was to euler tho tunnel through tho barrel. After locking the vault doors again, thoicof us'who could leave work went to tho adobe house. Tho chards lhere had nothing to re port. Wo took tho fastenings off the trap door and lifted it. The Mexican threw tho light, of a lantern down the hole, remarked that no one was to be seen, made ready his revolver, and quickly dropped through into the dark ness. All of us trembled with excitement, and listened with painful intensity. Before wo were aware what was taking place, we saw the Moxican reappear suddenly at tho mou tn of tho bolo, and heard four shois ring out hi quick suc cession. Then the Mexican bounded up through the smoke, and pointing wildly to t..o iloor near tho hole, shouted: 4I shot ono of 'em under there!' Wo waited for nothing further, but hurriedly pulled up the coards around the hole. The door stood some distance above the ground, and in this spaco was the body of a man lying motion less. We lilted him out, and laid him carefully on the lloor. Ho was already dead. Those of us who were unaccustomed to death in so frightful a form wero en tirely unnerved by this sight ; but the sheriff and lils men did n it forget even at such a time the busmen; of the hour, and quickly searched under the lloor for other robbers. Finding no signs of more of them, they came up to bear the Mexicali's story. Ho siid that ho had taken a fow steps forward into tho tunnel, when tho bolo begui to grow smaller and smaller so that to proceed ho would have bson compelled to go on hands and knees. Not bargaining for this style or attack he retreated, and was about to climb out of tho barrel, when ho noticed how tho lloor of tho adobe was built abovo tho ground. Tho light from abovo lighted up this spaco for a fow feet all around, and there, crouching in front of him, ho . aw tho robber, and at once fired upon him. / Tho robbor had evldontlv planned before-hand to crawl under this door In caso of danger, and await a chance of escaping. Thorough examination was mado of tho adobe houso under the dooring, but no sign of any other robbor? was found. Then the trap was shut do ,vu again and guards placed as before. J??lli Tho tim? Blipped on till 2 o'clock. Then wo heard another fearloss pro posal. Fous of tho men volunteered to go through tho tunnol from end to end. They made scarcely any prepara tion for tho expedition, simply taking a bull's oyo laffilern and making suro that their revolvers woro in working ordar. Ono after another dropped through tho opening.) They crouched low down as thoy cradled through, tho hoad man holding thjja?lorh a? high upas ho could reach? Thus, if thoy wore fired on, tho lantern would probably bo aimed for, and tho bullet would Hy over thom. We waited for them ni the vault through several minutes of most intenso anxiety. Then wo gavo a great shout aa tho hoad and shoulders of the Hist mau appeared under the raised stone. Wo helped ono after another of tho bold four through ibo opening up to daylight again. Tho men had mot no ono in tho tun nel, and had seen no branches or other means, of escape. They were positivo lio ono was concealed iusido. A further thorough examination of tho tunnel confirmed their statements, and it. be came almost certain that only one niau had boon at work. The theory that tho plan and tho ex ecution of tho crime Were bis only, was strengthened tho day when ho was buried, when a startling discovery was made. Somo of tue officers ot tho law, with Mr, Axlell, liad gone to take a look at tho man to endoavor to identify him, Mr. Axtell had scarcely caught sight ot the face before he exclaimed: 'Why, that mau is ono of tho stone masons who built the vault!f And so ho proved to be. Wo found that the mau had left a widow, and hunted her up. She was severely ques tioned, but professed entire ignorance of her husband's plans, and seemed to bo telling the truth. Tho officers and directors of tho bank saw fit lo reward me for my part in the occurrence With a splendid bicycle, which boro on its handle bar a small silver plato with an inscription I mod estly refrain from repeating. Why Sixty Seconds Make a Minute. Why is our hour devidod into sixty minutes, each minuto into sixty sec onds, etc.? Simply and solely because in Babylonia there existed, by the side of tho decimal system of notation, another system, the sexagesimal, winch counted by sixties. Why that number should have been chosen, is clear enough, and it speaks well tor tho prac tical sonso of those ancient, Itubyloniun merchants. There is no number which has so many divisors as sixty. Tho Babylonian's divided the sun's daily journey into tweniy-four parasangs, or 7?0 stadia. Hitch parasaug or hour was subdivided into sixty minutes, A A parasaug ls about a German mile, and Babylonian astronomers compared tho progress made by the sun during ono hour at tho time of tho equinox to tho progress made by a good walker during the sanio time, both accom plishing ono parasaug. Tho whole, c?urs? of the sun during the twenty four equinoctial hours was fixed at twenty-four parasong, or 720 stadia, or 300 degrees. This system was hande l on to tho Greeks, and Hipparchus, the great philosopher, who lived about LOU B. C., introduced the Babylonian hour into Europe. Ptolemy, who \vu?o about 150 Ai D., and whose name still lives in that of tho Ptolemaic system of astron omy, gavo still wider currency to thc Babylonian waV ,ot reckoning time, lt waa can,)exl\OK??,t?f-'?n-'tho iqut?t ?troam of traditional knowledge through the Middle Ages, and, strange to say, it sailed down safely over tuc Niagara or tho French revolution. For tho French, when revolutionizing weights, meas ures, coins, and dates, and subjecting all to tho decimal system of reckoning, were induced by some unexplained mo tive to respect our clocks ami watches, and allowed our dials to remain sexa gesimal, that is, Babylonian, cadi hour consisting of sixty minutes. Here you seo again tho wonderful coherence of tho world, and how what wo call knowledge is tho result, of an unbroken tradition of a teaching descending from father to son. Xot moro than about a hundred arms would reach from us to the builders of tho palaces ol' Baby lon, ami enable us to shake hands with thc founders of tho oldest pyramids and to thank them for what they have done for us. A Pinch of Snuff. In a crowded city street an Ill natured mastiff seized a Utile dog by tho throat and began viciously shaking him. A crowd soon gathered. Words, blows and kicks failed to make the mastiff let go Iiis hold. The little dog was howling piteously. At this junc ture, when the lookers-on were won dering what to do, a young man, ex quisitely dressed, came along, lie at onco comprehended the situation. "Leave him to me," he said, "I can malmac hitit;" Tl??fO was an incredulous laugh from the crowd, and cries of "Tho dude's herel" "Thinks he's smart'n tho rest on usl" "Lit the dude lix him!" and tho like. Tiie young man drew from his pocket a silver snuff box, and heida pinch of snuff under the mastiff's nose. Tho powder soon did its work. The big dog began sneezing vigorously, and of course had to open lils mouth, Ile dropped tho little dog and took to his heels, frightened and as mined, his tail drooping like a whipped cur's. Tho crowd broke Into a rou id of ap plause; tho young man smiled and went on his way. Chances of Life. -\ Some very Interesting statistics rtk speeling the death rate of tho French troops stationed lu the different colonies have just been supplied to the Academy of Science by Dr. Lagneau, says a Paris correspondent. The mortality of tho soldiers in the mother country averages from 0 to ll per 1,000. In Algeria it ranges from ll to 12 per 1,000, and In Tunis it Is mer.-ly a fraction higher. In Cochin, China, however, the death rate doubles, and at I'ondicherry lt trebles the normal rate in Franco; while in Touquin in 1885 it attained the figuro of 00 per 1,000; nor ls this all, for many soldiers sent homo Invalid either dio on tho journey or after Franco has been reached. Senegal and Guiana aro ex tremely unhealthy colonies. In the former tho mortality among tho troops averages 73 per 1,000, while in the lat ter in bad years lt has attained the ter rible figure of 237 per 1,00J. In Be nnion, whore tho main death rate is 2ft per 1,000. it roso during tho Madagas car expedition to 123 per 1,000. On tifo other hand, Otahelte and New Calodo nin aro oven move healthy than tluV mother country, the mortality being es timated at only 8 to 9 per 1,000. .THE BOWSERS. Thor? la Only On? Way to do Busi ness. I wanted to souci off l'or a lady's fashion magazine and on a dozen diff erent occasions I begged of Mr. Bow ser to write tho letter and send off tho money, says Mr?. Bowser in tho Detroit Fret Press. Ho kept promising ?nd neglecting, mau-like, but ono evening Ito said: "GIvo me tho name of that magazine and I will get a letter off to-mor row. "It's gone," I answered. "Who sent it?" "I did." *'Humph l Do you mean to tell mo that you wrote a bus'ness lotter?" "I do, 1 ordered tho magazlno and sent In a y?ar'? subscription." "What did you write?? "Ob, in tho usual form." "And chucked tho $2 into tho letter, I suppose?" "Yos, slr." Well, that's about what I should expect of you. You'll never seo either money or magazine again." "1 won't? Wiiy?" "Because, in thu first place, it stood just as good a chance of goin? to some machino shop as to a magazine office, with your stylo of directing an envel ops; and because, secondly, if some post, otlicial doesn't steal tho money, they will gobble it at tho end ot" the route and swear they never got it. Mrs. Bowser, you aro as siinplo as a child.'' "But lt may como all right." "Yes; and wo may discover a box of ?old in the back yard. Tiler's but ono way to do business." ..How's that?" "See this P. O. order for $38. I am going to send that to Boston to-mor row, lt will go straighter than a crow, and there Is no cause for worry. How ever it's useless lo try to leam a woman how to do business. " Three or four days went by, and then he suddenly inquired: "Have von heard from tho magazine, MM Bowser?" "Not iel." .'I suppose not. When you do hear pleasa let mo know. After forty or fifty experiences of this sort you may learn how to do business." Two days later ho asked mo again, and then I was able to show him a let ter acknowledging receipt of tho money and a copy of the magazine. "ft seems to have gone through," ho said, as ho handed the lotter back, "but that was owing to Providence. Probably tho parties had heard from mo and hesitated to defraud you for fear I'd raise a row." "What about the order you sent off, Mr. Bowser?" Ho jumped out of his chair and turned pale and gasped: "By gum, but I'd forgotten about that. 1 ought to have had an acknowl edgement three days ago." "Cant have been lost, eh?" "X-no." "lt was tho only proper way to do business, wasn't lt?" "Of course il was, lind, of course, it ?ot there all right. I'll probably get a letter to-morrow." When tho morrow came I asked him if ho had heard from his order. "Not exactly," bc replied, "but I am certain that it got there safe." "But they ought to acknowledge il." "Y-c-s." "There is but ono way of doing busi ness Mr. Bowsor, When I send off money j. re?oive an acknowlcdgeprent of its ' arrival. You ate sino you sont it." ''Sure I sent it? Do you take mo for a lunatic, Mrs, Bovv?er?" "But it's so queer." "I don't seo anything so queer about it. 1 wrote again two days ago, and I shall have a letter to-morrow begging my purdon for the delay." A letter arrived next day. I saw by Mr. Bowser's perturbation when bo carno home that something was wrong, ami ho (lnallv handed mo the le ter. 1 tread : "No PostOUlc? order has been re ceived from you. I'leaso do not try any more chestnuts on us." "Ibu von did it," 1 protested. "Or course I did." "Direciea your letter all right?" "Certainly." "Stamped and posto 1?" "Look here, Mrs. Bowser, you talk as if 1 didn't know enough to get aboard astreet car and pay inv fare I'? "But it's so queer. There is but one business way of doing business, Mr. Bowser. After forty or fifty experi ences of this sort you may learn how to do basilio s." Ho glared nt me and was too insulted to rejily. Ile went lo the poslollice and mado complaint, and for the next two weeks that lost order was the topic of conversation, Tho officials sought to trace the letter, and Mr. Bowser made affidavit to this and that, and the hunt was still going om when, lu dusting off his secrclTiry anti straightening up his loose papers, I found a letter sealed and addressed to, the Boston firm. I had no doubt it contained tho missing or der. I quietly handed lt to Mr. Bow sor as ho carno up to dinner, and his face turned all colors baforo bo could open lt. "Mr. IJjw.-er," I said, "you men folks have curious ways of doing busi ness. It is Fing-" "I'd like to know how this letter got here I" ho demanded. "You left it hero, of course." "Never! Because I scolded you about your careless way of sending off moiiry, and because you wanted to get even with me for ic, you took this let ter from my pocket and detained it. Mrs. Bowsor this is a last straw to the camel's loadl Do you want alimony or a lump sum?" Next day he was all right again, and lie even stoppod at tho sale and brought L'^o up half a dozen pairs of gloves. HOSTESS AND GUESTS. Th^lr Respectivo Dut!o9 Ably De fined by n Lady Writer. Tne Hist duty of the hostess ls to make her guests acquainted with each other, writes Juno Allen in the Chris tum Union. In some circles it is con sidered etiquette not to introduce, but, as a young lady justly observed: "It inay be etiquette, but it is not a polite etiquette." Tho very origin of this word "etiquette" suggests its limita tions. It means nothing moro than a "ticket," and was at llrjt tho wooden tag7 ou a bundle indicating ifs contents. Tu-day it represents tho mark placed Iby society on its approved usages, and fumy bo freely translated by "good form." It io, of course, only ? mirror which reflects every chango of fashion, whilo politeness is a substantial and permanent expression of good will and kind feeling. If wo accept lt as tho dictate of courtesy that ono's guests should b? in troduced, it. follows that they shou'd bo introduced iu such a way as to make it easy to fall into conversation, lt is not necessary that tho hostess should present Mr. Smith as "tho Australian explorer," or Miss Drown as "tho au thor of that charming j poem in the Ago." Such an introduction almost necessitates ti nnrsonal turn tc tho con versation, aiulmakes ic decidedly awk ward for tho other person, who may never have heard of tho Australian ex pedition or tho poem. In nothing ls tho skill of tho hostess so clearly shown as in this word with which shu shoves tho boat of now acquaintance oit tho social strand. A hint of some topic in which tho people introduced aro mu tually interested, an allusion to an ac quaintance which they hold in common, a mention of some place, book or pic ture familiar to both, launches them successfully; and tho hostess may turn to her other guests with her mind at oase. if she ls wiso, sho will have asked several persons, preferably young girls, to act as assistant hostesses, to share the duties of introducing and en tertaining. Slio will also have invited several moro men than women, in order to have a circulating medium-, as a man may without awkwardness be left standing alone, a woman never. Nothing in tho line of party-giving is so easy as a small evening party. It ls often pleasantest when such guests as como to see you, and do not, as Em ersoii says, interpose a screen of tkinys between you and them. Have done with apologies! Uellclencies speak for themselves, and their inoutlrs aro not to bj shut by explanations. Welcome your guest heartily, set before hun your bast of material and spiritual refresh ment, and then cease to be over-anxious as to bis enjoymont. Let tho rooms be softly, but not dimly, lighted. Lamp3, except for odor of kerosene, aro preferable to gas, on account of the milder light. Strew tiro tables with books and photographs, draw chairs and sofas into easy groups, that four or Ave guests may talk to gether without effort. If refreshments are to be passed, have everything ready in a sido room, and strive to timo the serving so that it may lill a pause, in stead of breaking in upon a Tull tide of conversation or music. Instruct the servant that all the people in Hie same group aro to bo served at the same tithe, If not too warm, light a fire, as a gathering point Add to these sur roundings tho inspiring presence of a genial host and hostess, and what guest could fail to respond by a cheerful readiness to enter Into the spirit of festivity? Alas! there are people who settle back a leaden weight upon their enter tainers; peoplo whoso eyes are Axed on a bolo in tho sofa cover while they lis ten languidly to their host; peoplo who appear to regard vivacity as a mark of inferior breeding-social oysters, who hope, by never opening their shells, to deceive the world into the belief that they hold a pearl. All these aro as common as they are depressing. The ideal guest is much more raro than tho ideal hostess. Tho role involves the power to play second liddle gracefully, to take timo from tho first violin, and aim simply to aid the general effect; With no personal interest in making a party a success, lo throw ono's vital energies into tho breach is a stretch of altruism as rare as admirable. Much of the explanation of tho leth argy of guests lies iii that phrase; "The expenditure of vital energy." We, as a race, aro too tired for social enjoy ment. An editor who was invited to a literary gathering to listen to a paper, responded, with moro vigor than civ ility: "Good gracious! would you ask a man who had been feeling trees all day for a living to come to a wood-chopping party in tho evening for fun?" Tue task of making society sociable may well stagger a hostess if it involves first regulating the busbies day of the guest. 13ut that a leisure class does not solve tho problem is sulllciently at tested by Byron's description of "Society, ono vast and polished horde, Formed of two mighty tribes, tho bores and bored." This is tho verdict of ono who had tried all tho luxury and elaboration that could be devised by a class which made soeioty a chief pursuit, Suppose, then, we b;*g n at tho other end, and try what lal;) may lie in simplification; and t'.io adaptation ot society to tho require ments of busines m?u and busy wo men; in adopting a social code wherein the only thing demanded of the hosts shall be a spirit of hospitality, and the only requisition of the guests readiness to be entertained and a desire to cou tributa something to tho hilarity of thc occasion. Just His Way. Tliey tell a good story, on Senator Janies Farnsworth Pierce. It seems that ho came to Albany to seo Gov ernor Tilden soon after the latter's mn ug .11 al ion. After a brief chat the govi:.nor, \yh? was easily bored, asked: '.When are you going back?" "This afternoon, I think," said James, ''Bettor stay over till to-morrow," returned the governor in a confidential murmur. Thinking something was in the air James remained over. Next day be again invaded the executive chiiiib-?r, and the same formula was gone over, with the exception that th( governor1:! tone was slightly mort confidential. Jamed pulled at his glossy, Iron graj mustache for awhile and again r?? mai ned over, only to have tin samt disappointment. How long the affah would have lasted is conjectural hat not a kind hearted oiderly told tlx misguided senator that that wai merely a way the governor had. A Prison Keeper's Nerve. A shipmaster ot my acquaintance who has been very successful ns ward ci in moro than ono penal institution, tole mo that ho once heard that a crimina confined under his control had paid tim ho would kill tho warden on the flrsi opportunity. Captain IC. said nothing but tho next afternoon, when ho hat an hour's leisure, sent for the man 'Hill,' lot us call him, found tho eaptftii strapping his razor. 'Oh, 'Hill,' is tba yon'/' exclaimed tho wardoo. 'Well, never mind, can yon shave?' Tho mm roplied that ho had often shaved lili companions. 'All right, suppose I sci what kind of a barber YOU are. 'Will that he took a seat in Ins chair, bandee tho criminal a razor, and was shaved 'Hill went faithfully through his duty and when he had iinislied tho captan said: 'They told mo that you won Avatching for a chanco lb kill mo, so j thought I would givo yJu as good a on< as you could ask forc that was all, 'Bill' slunk shoepishlvfawav, and iron thence tho captain hatlno firmer frienc than tho desperate criminal. Mi Tho I) u tuber of jiersoifi the Purls Exposition on a jecemV day,, by payment, amounted to OY?r 09,000., -Ono of tho "suro euros of con sumption" co'd in Philadelphia was analyzed the other day and found to i consist DI ruui, molasses ana extract of : ' dandelion. -Bishop, tho mind reader, left an estate valued at $250, which goes to provo that people who mind other -peo* pie's minds do not gather in tho shekels. -Christino Nilsson outbid thc Louvro lately in a raCo for a Madonna of Mabuso. The Louvre agent bid 37,? 000 francs and Mme. Nilsson gol the: picture by one of 40,000 francs. -Some Ingenious arithmetician has calculated that the 80,000,000 stamps issued by the English Post Ofllco from 1840 to 1884, if placed end to end, would roach to the moon and back. -Some men are born to be drowned , ' in frosh water and others in salt water. A Damnark passenger actually jour- . neyed ad tho way to South Manitou,. Mich., to meet his death in the lake. -Tho kangaroo is said to have got its name in this way: Captain Cook first discovered tho animal in Aus-, tralla. When ho inquired its name ot a natl ye tho latter replied:' 'Kanga roo," which, in the Australian lan guage, is "I don't know." -Large tobacco farms, to be worked and managed by 'skilled Cu bans, have Just been established at De Funiak Springs, Fla. Tobacco . grown there from Havana soed is said to bo even finer and moro delicately flavored than that from Cuba itself. -During tho last eleven years nearly .30,000 persono have igst their lives lu- . trading und fishing vessels, the worst year being that of 1881-82, when 3,612 persons perished at sea. In the last . year, however, for which there are re turns, 1880-87, the numbor of lives lost on vessels had fallen to 2,071. -The people of Cardiff, Wales, wit nessed a somewhat singular phenome non. lt was noticed that after a fall of rain pools of water in tho thorough fares were tinged with red-tho effect of what is known as "red iain." In past generations this appearance pro/ ducod tho gravest alarm, a fall of so called "bloody rain" being regarded as a sure precursor of plague. -At Kondout-on-the-IIudson a man. died, leaving a property valued at $2000. This was partly mortgaged. The mortgage and costs involved amounted to $1990, thus leaving but $1 to be divided among the widow and fourteen heirs. Tho window will, however, have only tho uso of this dol lar during her lifetime, and must leave it to tho heirs at her death. -At the Harvard observatory there are eight women now at work under the supervision of Prof. Pickering, not as students but as valuablo assistants in Iiis spectroscopic study of the star?. In the different departments supported . by tho Draper memorial fund, tho Boynton fund, and contlgent fundt these assistants are engaged in compu tations, in study of photographs, and In other necessary branches connected with observatory work. -A despatch from Findlay, Ohio, reports that while Henry Gromdie, liv ing on Limestone Ridge, over M-ho lind in Wyandot county, was plowing, one of his horse broke through the earth ! into a deep holofi The.animal was\rmn . , cued from its position with great ditn culty. Upon examining' tho spot, Greindle found a largo hole loadiug perpendicularly down Into tho earth, and subsecpicnt investiga! ions, it is as serted, revealed caverns that may to somo extent duplicata those of Luray. -Some time ago Mrs. Langtry en gaged a chef at a salary of $16 a day? to tako entire chargo and provide everything for her kitchen. The chef, a Frenchman by the name of Broche, soon found out that, owing to tho lux? urious tastes of his mistress, the sum allowed him was entirely indeaquato for the contract. He brought In a bill for extra marketing amounting to $225, which Mrs. Langtry refused pay. Ile brought suit against her in tho Now York courts. -A stalactite cave of enormous ex tent has been discovered at Iteclero,. close to the French frontier and is at tracting considerable interest among geologists and others. The wfiole ex tent of the cave has not yot been as certained, but an idea can bo formed of its size from tho circumstance that a Bhort timo ago two exploring parties visited the cave, ono entering at 8 A. M., and the other at ll A. M., and each party roamed for about two hours without coming across the other. Tlrd cave is fairly dry, containing so far/as; now ascertained, only a small pomC and it can be entered with, "perfect, safety. -Ono of the prangest pieces of ar? tdlery in Eu.ix)f0 is at Metz and is known by th* name oC the 'Griffin," ff?ttt tho figure of the fabulous animal which is to be found among the orna mental portion of Its workmanship. Tho gun was cast in 1529 at Ehren breitstein, near Cobientz. It is 17 feet In length and 3 in diameter. Tho bore is 20? inches; weight, 22,500 pounds. Its carriage is 24 feet in length, and the weight of the ball which lt carries is 150 poucds; 42 pounds of powder is required for the charge. Napoleon in tended it for V e War Department, Paris, but found difficulty in transport ing it, , -Fourteen carrier pigeons were taken to New York from Newport on the United States steamer Juniata on. lier recent trip. The birds were trained! to fly only from Point Judith, and the< Intention was to liberate them off that/ point on the day of the ship's departure, , but as tho weather was thick, they wore not flown, being taken on to New Yorkl While the ship was there one of the birds escaped, and a Mr. Bolton^, to whom it belonged, considered it lostt to him, ai it bad nevor flown from a grouter distance than Point Judith, and hence could not be expected to know its way from Now York, Great was Mr. Bolton's surpiise, therefoio, when tho bird subsequently arrived at bis loft in Newport, safe and lu good condition. -In Brazil thoro is a trlbo called Caf usos, which has sprung into exist ence by marriage between tho long,: ; ft? stiff-haired natives and tho imported fe*? negro slave?. As might be oxpect'ed f from tho admixtures of thoso o\tremes, thoso people possess hair of very extra ordinary kind, lt rises perpendicularly from the head lu thick curly masses and forms a wig of such enormous di mensions that tho possessors must e stoop low when entering their huts. J,,, Friendship lasts ns long as tho p'otv hoi:?. IS \ I* 0 u UBj