The Marlboro democrat. (Bennettsville, S.C.) 1882-1908, July 19, 1889, Image 6
gfftf*"'*M?J. ,".I.111 11 .
MUCH ADO.
: When you think of it, friend, tho worries,
The troubles th:tt wear you out,
Aro often tho veriest trille?.
That conation sense would flout;
They write tho forehead with wrinkles,
They how tho shoulder with care,
?et a little patience would show you, friend.
Just how thek weight to hear. .
3t'n somobtnlv lato to breakfast
And the col?ce growing cold ?
?lt's a hutton that isn't fastened,
Or a string loo slight to hold \
And time and temperare wasted,
And fun ls driven away,
/vml ftp '?". th(} V.?Uit'Of Kviit?viiOss,
Thc home ls spoiled for a nay.
.A ixl the childi en make a litter
Ol 1ovs upon tho floor.
And .hilmnv forvcts lo wipe his feet.
Ami Susi? lo shut the door:
Ami who that heals you scolding,
Wh'ch alter awhile you'll rue.
Wet <! O'-in those IKM-UK-SS little ones
Just lill the world to you?
Tis well that ?tul and the angels
Know better far than we, ? . . , ii
?I hat our conscience and our conduct, friends,
Ko seldom quito agree.
.Tis well Unit 'he Lord is patient,
And sees, mit what wo are,
Hut what, ut our best, we nie iain to he,
Unmoved hy Strife and jar.
Ah me! for the lillie trilles,
Of which ?air hitler brew
.DI sorrow and trouble ls often mixed,
As weakly, with iniicli ado, ?
We meet tho smaller worries,
That are (?ulekly out of sight.
When the sweep ?if a dark winged ange.
Obscures our lives with night.
A BANK ROB??lt.
About lour years ago, while I was
paying teller of ibo Stale National
bunk. In a flourishing town iii the west,
the events I am about to relato oe?
tuned. Tho story is almost exactly
true, being changed here only in un
' important events. A partial account
of tho affair was published in a local
paper, and some of my readers may
bu ve seen it.
When i left Ohio I crated up my
bicycle, and sent it along by express,
lt arrived In perfect order, anti when
the roads were in good condition I took
many a pleasant spin after banking
One summer morning, after a de
lightful after-breakfast run in the brac
.Ing mountain air, I rodo up to tho bank,
' ?nd ha vi nu cleaned and oiled my bicy
cle, B'.ort d it in one of tho rooms at the
lear of ll?j Laiikin? otlice. Then I
went leisurely about my work. The
first th nu to ?io was toopoo the vault, a
substantial structure of masonry with
iron dcors and bracings, and a floor of
I square blocks of stone.
} The- vault, was not mado specially
-' ?drong against burg?ais, for tho cash
.jVafi i-ept in the sale within. Tho Vault
> was intended only to protect tho books
I Bud rucoids by fire. Any mere bungler
)or a crack.'man could have got into it
Cit i mi hour or two. The sate, however,
?.was as m arly burglar proof as tho best
'eteel and latest improved locks could
make lt.
' The vault had two doors, an inner
und an omer, which were fastened by
combination locks. Between tho two
doors was it stone floor, like that inside
of tho vault.
I swung tho outer door open without
dilllculty, but when 1 pulled tho inner
door, to my surprise it scraped on the
stone floor, and considerable force was
required to pull it over the obstruction,
?nd swing it ?ni?y open.
What w.'s Ibo causo of thi< obstruc
tion? Had the hinges ot' (he door been
worn so as to let lt down? Had faulty
construction Iii the floor allowed ono of
the .stones to slip gradually out of place
and interfere vsith the door? Had thc
building been settling and the vault
doors thrown out of level? Or-and
my heart beat faster at the thought
had como one been tampering with the
lunges?
. In any case there was need of a thor
ough investigation, but what was lo be
done? The cashier was out of town;
and the president had told mo the night
before that he would leave on the morn
ing's train for Enterprise, tojsottlo up a
disputed balance with our correspond
ent there. Thc absence of both ofllcers
ieft me in first authority.
) Hut before 1 decidod what, to do, the
safe.must be examined to see if it had
j been tampered with, I hurriedly on
[tered the vault, and scanned the exte
rior of the safe. Xo marks of violence
i appeared. The door was protected by
ja time lock, and by three combination
Hocks to hold the bolls after tho time
Hocks bad released them. Tho clocks
?bad been set for 8 ii'clock, and were
.now run down. The tumblers of the
.combinations had clicked in quick time
as I hurriedly whirled the knobs, Hills,
gold and silver lay undisturbed, just as
1 had left them the evening before.
Now what was tobo done? 1 did
not 1 ko to resume responsibilities which
properly belonged to some one else,
j A ml here was a problem which possibly
concerned the very life of the bank'.
Unless 1 was forced by circumstances,
thc solving of it was not for me.
I gave myself three minutes for a
d?cision. The cashier was out of reach,
and the president was now oil his way
i?l? the .station. Jf 1 could reach tho
station before the train left, I could
bring him back. The train was due ul
B.55.'and the clock now marked 8.'>o.
j Tho station was about four miles
from the town. When the railroad was
built it was fourni necessary to run
[flown the va:ley; and so the town which
lay back on the tableland was left that
distance to ;he west, it would be im
possible to get a hoi se and bu&gy, and
Wt to the station in the time allotted.
My bicycle! I could try it, there was a
Ch. ncc ot success.
Tile tv? o other clerks hail conic into
into the bank, und were at woik at
?their desks, I got out the cash needed
at the counter, remarked quietly to tho
/clerks that 1 ?as ?oing out for a few
minutes, und told the receiving teller
1o attend lo my wintlow meantime.
Then I slipped on my riding .shoe-), rau
.my machine out of the tear door and
.mounted. Tho road was good, and 1
wa? nerved to great excition, and al
though it. required twenty minutes of as
bani work as I ever did, I succeeded.
The dark roof ol' the low station
bul ding came m sight, just as up th.;
valley 1 saw the smoko of the approach
ing nain. 1 was not too lute. 1
whisked up to tho station and hurried
to Mr. Axtell, the president, who, valise
3n hand, was looking up the track at
"?lie train.
I related to him all there was to tell
in a very few word'-. Ile asked mo a
few questions and then said; 'Of course
I wilt go back to tow n, You return by
your bicycle, and 1 will follow by the
stage. Go to the bank and attend to
business as usual. When 1 get in we
will decide what to do.'
1 made my return trip with all possi
ble speed, and took my place at the
teller window. For twenty minutes
"?business quietly proceeded.
Mr. Axtell came leisurely into thc
Muk soon after. He went into the
.vs-.ult, examined the door, and he ran
fiU hand along the cracks between the
;;*tonea. A moment's Inspection satisfied
..bim. Ho came out and told mu that
.lie was convinced some ono was tunnel'
Jt&H under the vault. Ho asked mc io
hi
inforin tho clerks, and to koop a close
watch over everything until ho'should
c?mo'u?ck, and hurried away.
He presently returned with two of
tho bank's directors whom Ho took into
the vault, pointed .out tho suspicious
appearance, and explained his theory ot
tho cause.
The bank building stood on the
southeast corner of tho Interjection of
two principle streets. At tho rear was
an alley, and across that a largo brick
blinding, wu ibo east side, touching
the bai?k, was a finnie structure occu
pied by a clothing linn. Beyond, with
a three foot passage Intervening, stood
an adobe house. Tho passage way ran
through from street to alley.
In the building across tho alley there
was no opportunity, Mr. Axtell thought,
for working a tunnel; therefore lie con
cluded tho attack would be from tho
east. Tho members of tho Him next
door were old citizens, and not to bo
suspected. Of tho adobe house he knew
nothing. This, then, was the first point
for examination.
Mr. Axtell put a revolver in his
pocket, and going out the back door of
our building walked up tho alley to the
adobo house, and entered a rickety door,
which ho found unlocked. Herc ho
discovered a bare, empty room, evi
dently long occupied, lint on the do >r
were trucks of muddy boots.
Upon examination ho found that the
flooring in the corner of tho room was
cut through, and a trap door had been
placed there. At one side of the door
an iron staple was driven, apparently
serving as a handle for lilting it. He
raised tho trap cautiously, and saw a
barrel set Into the ground poiullug In
the direction of Hie bank. Then ho
lowered tho trap carefully, and as care
fully left tho bulk"lug.
There was no longer any doubt. Tho
tunnel was there, and tho robbers might
be ready to make their final movement
on tho bank that very night, lt was
scarcely probable that they worked in
tho tunnel during the day. at leash, now
ttiat they had got so near tho vault.
At night no ono would bo in tho bank,
and they could work without rear ot
being heard.
As it was probable that a watch was
kept over our movements, our prepara
tions for the capture of tho burglars
were deferred until after dark. During
ino afternoon we worked at our desits
as usual, and left tho. building for our
bornes at the usual time, having re
ceived instructions from Axtell to re
port again at 8 o'clock. We were to
como up tho alley, which was always
very dark, and quietly enter tho rear
room of the bank.
Meanwhile tho president had seen the
sheriff, who was to come to the bank
wit h lour deputies at 8 o'clock.
When I cautiously stepped through
thc back door into tho building a little
before 8, 1 found theso men already
there. The other clerks came in
promptly'.
Two men wero sent to a room ni the
second story of a building across tho
street, whero they could watch the
adobe. If they saw any ono enter tho
passage way, they were to notify us by
drawing a match across tho window and
immediately blowing it out. Each of
the clerks, beginning with tho book
keeper, was to bo stationed fora certain
time near the vault door, to listen for
sounds from thc tunnel, and to walch
for thc signal across the way. The rest
of tho party were to remain lu tho back
room, really to respond to any call.
Thus the night was commenced. Tho
time dragged along slowly enough. We
could only sit in silence. No sound had
reached us from the tunnel, and no
communication had been made to us
by thc clerks in tho banking room, up
to ll o'clock. At that hour another
man was to relieve thu Hist watcher,
and tho exchange was silently made.
The bookkeeper had heard nothing
below, and had seen no signal from the
opposite ?ida of the street.
Again tho time dragged. Nothing
unusual was reported by the watcher.
Ono o'clock came, and il was now my
turn to relieve him. I took my place
nuder the counter. Alter a brief con
u.ultatiou by Mr. Axtell and the sheriff,
it was decided it was probable the rob
bers were at work in the tunnel, and if
they were they would leave it at an
early hour. Thc sheriff and two of his
deputies took their stations outside,
two of them going into the alley, and
Hie other into the street in front, thus
guarding both ends.
At about two o'clock I heard a dis
tinct noise from under the lloor near
tho vault dcor, ll was a steady suc
cession of strokes, as in digging, min
gled with a slight sound of tools.
1'resently carno a noise as though somo
heavy body was being lifted or forced.
I crept to the front of tho vault, and
could catch the sounds very distinctly.
They seemed lo come from inside. Thc
robbers wero either in tho vault, or
just about to en tor I
Now was the time to act. The other
end of the tunnel was guarded, and at
this end, of course, there was no possi
bility of escape. I stepped back two or
three paces, drew my revolver, and
tired three shots in quick succession
through the lloor at the point at which
1 judged the tunnel must terminate.
There was only a slight chance of
hitting any one in the tunnel, but the
robbers in their fright would undoubt
edly rush for the other end, to lind
themselves confronted by the sheriff
and his assistants. As those in the rear
room were hurrying forward, I called
to them lo run to the a'lobe.
We found thc sheriff and his deputies
on the alert, as they had bearii my
firing and waiting developments. The
men who had been stationed across tho
way quickly came over. I explained
as bi Icily as possible whait had occured,
and, ri volv?is in hand, we surrounded
the adobe.
Alter walting some minutes wo be
came impatient, and the sherill deter*
mined tu enter. Hark lanterns were
procured, mid me sheriff directed ns to
tobo iv him closely.
Wo crowded into the passage way,
Hie sheriff at the head. When the door
was reached, he Hung it open without
a moment's hesitation, threw up Iiis
righi hand with cocked revo.ver while
two deputies immediately behind hun
reached forward with nark lanterns,
and Hashed the light throughout the
room. Tbere was un instant of intense
suspense. Tuen tue sheriff said quietly,
There's not a soul inside.'
All hurried iuto the room. The trap
door was down. There was no other
door, window or opening of our kind
by which au oseapo might havo been
made. Tho robbers must bo still in
tho tunnel. It was suggested that they
had built a branch tunnel for escaping
If discovered; butthoro seemed to bo no
place In tho vicinity suitable for such
an exit. Tho chances wero that they
were still Inside, waiting, perhaps, an
opportunity to make a rust? tnrough tbe
trap door.
Wo listoned for a fow minutes, but
heard no sound. Then the sheriff stop
ped fo ward to tho trap door, and
quickly Hf linc: lt, threw the rays of a
/
dark lautem down the hole. As far as
the light readied, nothing could bo seen
but the black walls of tho tunnel. Then
tho sheriff leaned forward and shouted
down.
.Como up ono at a timo end surren'
dor, and wo Avon't hurt youl?
There was no aiiswei', wo waited a
little, and thon shouted again as bofore,
adding, not altogether politely, 'This is
tho last chance you'll got. Don't raako
fools of yoursulvfifd?
Tho echo of his volco was tho only
response. In silence wo waited about
tho tunnel's mouth, but heard not tho
slightest indication that any ono was
Inside. Tho sheriff threw down the
door with angry impatience. What
next? How wore wo to capturo thom?
Should we have to starve them out, or
smoke them out?
Wo divided ourselves Into watches,
two mon wore to stand guard for one
hour, while tho others retired to tho
bank to snatch a little sleep, if- possible.
In tho meantime several policemen,
having heard tho il ring, had como to
tho vicinity of the adobe, Ono of them
stationed himself in tho passage, and
two moro took their stands in tho street
and alloy ready to spread tho alarm If
an escapo was attempted. Before leav
ing tho watch to their duty we fastened
the trap door down securely.
From this time until 8.30 in tho
morning nothing occurred. Tho
Watchers wero regularly relieved, and
none of them had reported any signs of
life in the tunnel, lint as thc bank's
business must go on without interrup
tion, lt was necessary ta open the vault.
Tliero was less chance of tho robbers
trying to escape that way than by tho
other end ot the tunnel. When listen
ing to them working I hard fy supposed
that they had got into the vault. De
sides, lt was now broad day, the streets
wero full of people, and tho bold cracks
man must know that wo would be pre
pared for them.
Half a dozen men gathered about
tho vault door, fully armed aud ready
for any emergency. As I was tho one
most tamlllar with tho combinations
on tho vault doors, lt was my duty to
unlock them. 1 did not relish tho posi
tion of first target for a bullet from tho
inside, but mustered up my courage,
said nothing, and went to work. The
outer door 1 drew open without hesita
tion, the inner door was tho ono to be
feared.
When tho bolts of tho inner door had
been thrown back i found that it
scarcely could bo moved, as tho stone
under lt was raised moro than before.
At length three of the strongest in the
party managed to forcd it open, and
tho inside of the vault could be seen.
No one was there. But the door showed
a startling condition of affairs.
'Hie largo stone in front of the safe
was raised up at ono side nearly two
feet, l t was supported by jack screws
which had been used to force it up. In
ten minutes moro the robbers, if unin
terrupted, would havo been in the
vault. Unfortunately for them lu their
workings ol* tho previous night they
had accidently displaced the stone that
ran under the inner door, or their plot
might not have been discovered till too
late to arrest it.
After a few minutos of surmise and
speculation, Mr. Axtell stepped up to
the hole and shouted down tho same
proposition tim sheriff had made at the
other end. There was no response
whatever. Ho then directed ino to
open tho sato and proceed with tho
business of the day as usual. Two men
wero left on guard in tho vault, and the
rest were stationed in the back room.
All who knew of tho situation were
cautioned lo keep it to themselves, and
very lew of our customers that morn
ing knew wdiat was going on under
their feet.
At about 10.30 ono of the men in tho
rear room carno lo tho door and called
in Mr. Axtell. There he heard as bold
a proposition as man ever made. One
of tho guards had volunteered to go
down into tho tunnel! He was a deputy
sheriff, a Moxie m named Jo?o Chare*/,
wdio, becoming impatient that, tho rob
bers did not show themselves, deter
mined lo stir them up in their own
Quarters.
He was a daring, i eek less fellow,
accustomed all his lile to deeds ol vio
lence. Ile lived on excitement, and
was evor restless when not on the trail
of some horse thief or murderer, ile
know the risk of going into Hie tunnel,
but said ho had as good a chance as the
robbers-as a matter of fact, in such
an encounter every advantage was on
their side-and that was all he wanted.
The rest of the men, brave though they
were, shrugged their shoulders, and de
clined underground warfare.
Chare/, was to euler tho tunnel
through tho barrel. After locking the
vault doors again, thoicof us'who could
leave work went to tho adobe house.
Tho chards lhere had nothing to re
port. Wo took tho fastenings off the
trap door and lifted it. The Mexican
threw tho light, of a lantern down the
hole, remarked that no one was to be
seen, made ready his revolver, and
quickly dropped through into the dark
ness.
All of us trembled with excitement,
and listened with painful intensity.
Before wo were aware what was taking
place, we saw the Moxican reappear
suddenly at tho mou tn of tho bolo, and
heard four shois ring out hi quick suc
cession. Then the Mexican bounded
up through the smoke, and pointing
wildly to t..o iloor near tho hole,
shouted: 4I shot ono of 'em under
there!'
Wo waited for nothing further, but
hurriedly pulled up the coards around
the hole. The door stood some distance
above the ground, and in this spaco
was the body of a man lying motion
less. We lilted him out, and laid him
carefully on the lloor. Ho was already
dead.
Those of us who were unaccustomed
to death in so frightful a form wero en
tirely unnerved by this sight ; but the
sheriff and lils men did n it forget even
at such a time the busmen; of the hour,
and quickly searched under the lloor
for other robbers. Finding no signs of
more of them, they came up to bear
the Mexicali's story.
Ho siid that ho had taken a fow steps
forward into tho tunnel, when tho bolo
begui to grow smaller and smaller so
that to proceed ho would have bson
compelled to go on hands and knees.
Not bargaining for this style or attack
he retreated, and was about to climb
out of tho barrel, when ho noticed how
tho lloor of tho adobe was built abovo
tho ground. Tho light from abovo
lighted up this spaco for a fow feet all
around, and there, crouching in front
of him, ho . aw tho robber, and at once
fired upon him. /
Tho robbor had evldontlv planned
before-hand to crawl under this door In
caso of danger, and await a chance of
escaping.
Thorough examination was mado of
tho adobe houso under the dooring, but
no sign of any other robbor? was found.
Then the trap was shut do ,vu again and
guards placed as before.
J??lli
Tho tim? Blipped on till 2 o'clock.
Then wo heard another fearloss pro
posal. Fous of tho men volunteered
to go through tho tunnol from end to
end. They made scarcely any prepara
tion for tho expedition, simply taking a
bull's oyo laffilern and making suro that
their revolvers woro in working ordar.
Ono after another dropped through
tho opening.) They crouched low down
as thoy cradled through, tho hoad man
holding thjja?lorh a? high upas ho
could reach? Thus, if thoy wore fired
on, tho lantern would probably bo
aimed for, and tho bullet would Hy over
thom.
We waited for them ni the vault
through several minutes of most intenso
anxiety. Then wo gavo a great shout
aa tho hoad and shoulders of the Hist
mau appeared under the raised stone.
Wo helped ono after another of tho bold
four through ibo opening up to daylight
again.
Tho men had mot no ono in tho tun
nel, and had seen no branches or other
means, of escape. They were positivo
lio ono was concealed iusido. A further
thorough examination of tho tunnel
confirmed their statements, and it. be
came almost certain that only one niau
had boon at work.
The theory that tho plan and tho ex
ecution of tho crime Were bis only, was
strengthened tho day when ho was
buried, when a startling discovery was
made. Somo of tue officers ot tho law,
with Mr, Axlell, liad gone to take a
look at tho man to endoavor to identify
him, Mr. Axtell had scarcely caught
sight ot the face before he exclaimed:
'Why, that mau is ono of tho stone
masons who built the vault!f
And so ho proved to be. Wo found
that the mau had left a widow, and
hunted her up. She was severely ques
tioned, but professed entire ignorance
of her husband's plans, and seemed to
bo telling the truth.
Tho officers and directors of tho bank
saw fit lo reward me for my part in the
occurrence With a splendid bicycle,
which boro on its handle bar a small
silver plato with an inscription I mod
estly refrain from repeating.
Why Sixty Seconds Make a Minute.
Why is our hour devidod into sixty
minutes, each minuto into sixty sec
onds, etc.? Simply and solely because
in Babylonia there existed, by the side
of tho decimal system of notation,
another system, the sexagesimal, winch
counted by sixties. Why that number
should have been chosen, is clear
enough, and it speaks well tor tho prac
tical sonso of those ancient, Itubyloniun
merchants. There is no number which
has so many divisors as sixty. Tho
Babylonian's divided the sun's daily
journey into tweniy-four parasangs, or
7?0 stadia. Hitch parasaug or hour
was subdivided into sixty minutes, A
A parasaug ls about a German mile,
and Babylonian astronomers compared
tho progress made by the sun during
ono hour at tho time of tho equinox to
tho progress made by a good walker
during the sanio time, both accom
plishing ono parasaug. Tho whole,
c?urs? of the sun during the twenty
four equinoctial hours was fixed at
twenty-four parasong, or 720 stadia, or
300 degrees.
This system was hande l on to tho
Greeks, and Hipparchus, the great
philosopher, who lived about LOU B. C.,
introduced the Babylonian hour into
Europe. Ptolemy, who \vu?o about
150 Ai D., and whose name still lives in
that of tho Ptolemaic system of astron
omy, gavo still wider currency to thc
Babylonian waV ,ot reckoning time, lt
waa can,)exl\OK??,t?f-'?n-'tho iqut?t ?troam
of traditional knowledge through the
Middle Ages, and, strange to say, it
sailed down safely over tuc Niagara or
tho French revolution. For tho French,
when revolutionizing weights, meas
ures, coins, and dates, and subjecting
all to tho decimal system of reckoning,
were induced by some unexplained mo
tive to respect our clocks ami watches,
and allowed our dials to remain sexa
gesimal, that is, Babylonian, cadi hour
consisting of sixty minutes. Here you
seo again tho wonderful coherence of
tho world, and how what wo call
knowledge is tho result, of an unbroken
tradition of a teaching descending from
father to son. Xot moro than about
a hundred arms would reach from us
to the builders of tho palaces ol' Baby
lon, ami enable us to shake hands with
thc founders of tho oldest pyramids and
to thank them for what they have done
for us.
A Pinch of Snuff.
In a crowded city street an Ill
natured mastiff seized a Utile dog by
tho throat and began viciously shaking
him. A crowd soon gathered. Words,
blows and kicks failed to make the
mastiff let go Iiis hold. The little dog
was howling piteously. At this junc
ture, when the lookers-on were won
dering what to do, a young man, ex
quisitely dressed, came along, lie at
onco comprehended the situation.
"Leave him to me," he said, "I can
malmac hitit;"
Tl??fO was an incredulous laugh from
the crowd, and cries of "Tho dude's
herel" "Thinks he's smart'n tho rest
on usl" "Lit the dude lix him!" and
tho like.
Tiie young man drew from his
pocket a silver snuff box, and heida
pinch of snuff under the mastiff's
nose.
Tho powder soon did its work. The
big dog began sneezing vigorously, and
of course had to open lils mouth, Ile
dropped tho little dog and took to his
heels, frightened and as mined, his tail
drooping like a whipped cur's.
Tho crowd broke Into a rou id of ap
plause; tho young man smiled and went
on his way.
Chances of Life.
-\
Some very Interesting statistics rtk
speeling the death rate of tho French
troops stationed lu the different colonies
have just been supplied to the Academy
of Science by Dr. Lagneau, says a Paris
correspondent. The mortality of tho
soldiers in the mother country averages
from 0 to ll per 1,000. In Algeria it
ranges from ll to 12 per 1,000, and In
Tunis it Is mer.-ly a fraction higher. In
Cochin, China, however, the death rate
doubles, and at I'ondicherry lt trebles
the normal rate in Franco; while in
Touquin in 1885 it attained the figuro
of 00 per 1,000; nor ls this all, for many
soldiers sent homo Invalid either dio on
tho journey or after Franco has been
reached. Senegal and Guiana aro ex
tremely unhealthy colonies. In the
former tho mortality among tho troops
averages 73 per 1,000, while in the lat
ter in bad years lt has attained the ter
rible figure of 237 per 1,00J. In Be
nnion, whore tho main death rate is 2ft
per 1,000. it roso during tho Madagas
car expedition to 123 per 1,000. On tifo
other hand, Otahelte and New Calodo
nin aro oven move healthy than tluV
mother country, the mortality being es
timated at only 8 to 9 per 1,000.
.THE BOWSERS.
Thor? la Only On? Way to do Busi
ness.
I wanted to souci off l'or a lady's
fashion magazine and on a dozen diff
erent occasions I begged of Mr. Bow
ser to write tho letter and send off tho
money, says Mr?. Bowser in tho Detroit
Fret Press. Ho kept promising ?nd
neglecting, mau-like, but ono evening
Ito said:
"GIvo me tho name of that magazine
and I will get a letter off to-mor
row.
"It's gone," I answered.
"Who sent it?"
"I did."
*'Humph l Do you mean to tell mo
that you wrote a bus'ness lotter?"
"I do, 1 ordered tho magazlno
and sent In a y?ar'? subscription."
"What did you write??
"Ob, in tho usual form."
"And chucked tho $2 into tho letter,
I suppose?"
"Yos, slr."
Well, that's about what I should
expect of you. You'll never seo either
money or magazine again."
"1 won't? Wiiy?"
"Because, in thu first place, it stood
just as good a chance of goin? to some
machino shop as to a magazine office,
with your stylo of directing an envel
ops; and because, secondly, if some
post, otlicial doesn't steal tho money,
they will gobble it at tho end ot" the
route and swear they never got it.
Mrs. Bowser, you aro as siinplo as a
child.''
"But lt may como all right."
"Yes; and wo may discover a box of
?old in the back yard. Tiler's but ono
way to do business."
..How's that?"
"See this P. O. order for $38. I am
going to send that to Boston to-mor
row, lt will go straighter than a crow,
and there Is no cause for worry. How
ever it's useless lo try to leam a woman
how to do business. "
Three or four days went by, and
then he suddenly inquired:
"Have von heard from tho magazine,
MM Bowser?"
"Not iel."
.'I suppose not. When you do hear
pleasa let mo know. After forty or
fifty experiences of this sort you may
learn how to do business."
Two days later ho asked mo again,
and then I was able to show him a let
ter acknowledging receipt of tho
money and a copy of the magazine.
"ft seems to have gone through," ho
said, as ho handed the lotter back,
"but that was owing to Providence.
Probably tho parties had heard from
mo and hesitated to defraud you for
fear I'd raise a row."
"What about the order you sent off,
Mr. Bowser?"
Ho jumped out of his chair and
turned pale and gasped:
"By gum, but I'd forgotten about
that. 1 ought to have had an acknowl
edgement three days ago."
"Cant have been lost, eh?"
"X-no."
"lt was tho only proper way to do
business, wasn't lt?"
"Of course il was, lind, of course, it
?ot there all right. I'll probably get a
letter to-morrow."
When tho morrow came I asked him
if ho had heard from his order.
"Not exactly," bc replied, "but I
am certain that it got there safe."
"But they ought to acknowledge
il."
"Y-c-s."
"There is but ono way of doing busi
ness Mr. Bowsor, When I send off
money j. re?oive an acknowlcdgeprent
of its ' arrival. You ate sino you
sont it."
''Sure I sent it? Do you take mo for
a lunatic, Mrs, Bovv?er?"
"But it's so queer."
"I don't seo anything so queer about
it. 1 wrote again two days ago, and I
shall have a letter to-morrow begging
my purdon for the delay."
A letter arrived next day. I saw by
Mr. Bowser's perturbation when bo
carno home that something was wrong,
ami ho (lnallv handed mo the le ter.
1 tread :
"No PostOUlc? order has been re
ceived from you. I'leaso do not try
any more chestnuts on us."
"Ibu von did it," 1 protested.
"Or course I did."
"Direciea your letter all right?"
"Certainly."
"Stamped and posto 1?"
"Look here, Mrs. Bowser, you talk
as if 1 didn't know enough to get
aboard astreet car and pay inv
fare I'?
"But it's so queer. There is but one
business way of doing business, Mr.
Bowser. After forty or fifty experi
ences of this sort you may learn how to
do basilio s."
Ho glared nt me and was too insulted
to rejily. Ile went lo the poslollice and
mado complaint, and for the next two
weeks that lost order was the topic of
conversation, Tho officials sought to
trace the letter, and Mr. Bowser made
affidavit to this and that, and the hunt
was still going om when, lu dusting off
his secrclTiry anti straightening up his
loose papers, I found a letter sealed and
addressed to, the Boston firm. I had
no doubt it contained tho missing or
der. I quietly handed lt to Mr. Bow
sor as ho carno up to dinner, and his
face turned all colors baforo bo could
open lt.
"Mr. IJjw.-er," I said, "you men
folks have curious ways of doing busi
ness. It is Fing-"
"I'd like to know how this letter got
here I" ho demanded.
"You left it hero, of course."
"Never! Because I scolded you
about your careless way of sending off
moiiry, and because you wanted to get
even with me for ic, you took this let
ter from my pocket and detained it.
Mrs. Bowsor this is a last straw to the
camel's loadl Do you want alimony or
a lump sum?"
Next day he was all right again, and
lie even stoppod at tho sale and brought
L'^o up half a dozen pairs of gloves.
HOSTESS AND GUESTS.
Th^lr Respectivo Dut!o9 Ably De
fined by n Lady Writer.
Tne Hist duty of the hostess ls to
make her guests acquainted with each
other, writes Juno Allen in the Chris
tum Union. In some circles it is con
sidered etiquette not to introduce, but,
as a young lady justly observed: "It
inay be etiquette, but it is not a polite
etiquette." Tho very origin of this
word "etiquette" suggests its limita
tions. It means nothing moro than a
"ticket," and was at llrjt tho wooden
tag7 ou a bundle indicating ifs contents.
Tu-day it represents tho mark placed
Iby society on its approved usages, and
fumy bo freely translated by "good
form." It io, of course, only ? mirror
which reflects every chango of fashion,
whilo politeness is a substantial and
permanent expression of good will and
kind feeling.
If wo accept lt as tho dictate of
courtesy that ono's guests should b? in
troduced, it. follows that they shou'd bo
introduced iu such a way as to make it
easy to fall into conversation, lt is
not necessary that tho hostess should
present Mr. Smith as "tho Australian
explorer," or Miss Drown as "tho au
thor of that charming j poem in the
Ago." Such an introduction almost
necessitates ti nnrsonal turn tc tho con
versation, aiulmakes ic decidedly awk
ward for tho other person, who may
never have heard of tho Australian ex
pedition or tho poem. In nothing ls
tho skill of tho hostess so clearly shown
as in this word with which shu shoves
tho boat of now acquaintance oit tho
social strand. A hint of some topic in
which tho people introduced aro mu
tually interested, an allusion to an ac
quaintance which they hold in common,
a mention of some place, book or pic
ture familiar to both, launches them
successfully; and tho hostess may turn
to her other guests with her mind at
oase. if she ls wiso, sho will have
asked several persons, preferably young
girls, to act as assistant hostesses, to
share the duties of introducing and en
tertaining. Slio will also have invited
several moro men than women, in order
to have a circulating medium-, as a
man may without awkwardness be left
standing alone, a woman never.
Nothing in tho line of party-giving
is so easy as a small evening party. It
ls often pleasantest when such guests
as como to see you, and do not, as Em
ersoii says, interpose a screen of tkinys
between you and them. Have done
with apologies! Uellclencies speak for
themselves, and their inoutlrs aro not
to bj shut by explanations. Welcome
your guest heartily, set before hun your
bast of material and spiritual refresh
ment, and then cease to be over-anxious
as to bis enjoymont.
Let tho rooms be softly, but not
dimly, lighted. Lamp3, except for
odor of kerosene, aro preferable to gas,
on account of the milder light. Strew
tiro tables with books and photographs,
draw chairs and sofas into easy groups,
that four or Ave guests may talk to
gether without effort. If refreshments
are to be passed, have everything ready
in a sido room, and strive to timo the
serving so that it may lill a pause, in
stead of breaking in upon a Tull tide of
conversation or music. Instruct the
servant that all the people in Hie same
group aro to bo served at the same
tithe, If not too warm, light a fire, as
a gathering point Add to these sur
roundings tho inspiring presence of a
genial host and hostess, and what guest
could fail to respond by a cheerful
readiness to enter Into the spirit of
festivity?
Alas! there are people who settle
back a leaden weight upon their enter
tainers; peoplo whoso eyes are Axed on
a bolo in tho sofa cover while they lis
ten languidly to their host; peoplo who
appear to regard vivacity as a mark of
inferior breeding-social oysters, who
hope, by never opening their shells, to
deceive the world into the belief that
they hold a pearl. All these aro as
common as they are depressing. The
ideal guest is much more raro than tho
ideal hostess. Tho role involves the
power to play second liddle gracefully,
to take timo from tho first violin, and
aim simply to aid the general effect;
With no personal interest in making a
party a success, lo throw ono's vital
energies into tho breach is a stretch of
altruism as rare as admirable.
Much of the explanation of tho leth
argy of guests lies iii that phrase; "The
expenditure of vital energy." We, as
a race, aro too tired for social enjoy
ment. An editor who was invited to a
literary gathering to listen to a paper,
responded, with moro vigor than civ
ility: "Good gracious! would you ask a
man who had been feeling trees all day
for a living to come to a wood-chopping
party in tho evening for fun?"
Tue task of making society sociable
may well stagger a hostess if it involves
first regulating the busbies day of the
guest. 13ut that a leisure class does
not solve tho problem is sulllciently at
tested by Byron's description of
"Society, ono vast and polished horde,
Formed of two mighty tribes, tho bores
and bored."
This is tho verdict of ono who had tried
all tho luxury and elaboration that
could be devised by a class which made
soeioty a chief pursuit, Suppose, then,
we b;*g n at tho other end, and try
what lal;) may lie in simplification; and
t'.io adaptation ot society to tho require
ments of busines m?u and busy wo
men; in adopting a social code wherein
the only thing demanded of the hosts
shall be a spirit of hospitality, and the
only requisition of the guests readiness
to be entertained and a desire to cou
tributa something to tho hilarity of thc
occasion.
Just His Way.
Tliey tell a good story, on Senator
Janies Farnsworth Pierce. It seems
that ho came to Albany to seo Gov
ernor Tilden soon after the latter's
mn ug .11 al ion. After a brief chat the
govi:.nor, \yh? was easily bored, asked:
'.When are you going back?"
"This afternoon, I think," said
James,
''Bettor stay over till to-morrow,"
returned the governor in a confidential
murmur. Thinking something was
in the air James remained over. Next
day be again invaded the executive
chiiiib-?r, and the same formula was
gone over, with the exception that th(
governor1:! tone was slightly mort
confidential.
Jamed pulled at his glossy, Iron graj
mustache for awhile and again r??
mai ned over, only to have tin samt
disappointment. How long the affah
would have lasted is conjectural hat
not a kind hearted oiderly told tlx
misguided senator that that wai
merely a way the governor had.
A Prison Keeper's Nerve.
A shipmaster ot my acquaintance
who has been very successful ns ward ci
in moro than ono penal institution, tole
mo that ho once heard that a crimina
confined under his control had paid tim
ho would kill tho warden on the flrsi
opportunity. Captain IC. said nothing
but tho next afternoon, when ho hat
an hour's leisure, sent for the man
'Hill,' lot us call him, found tho eaptftii
strapping his razor. 'Oh, 'Hill,' is tba
yon'/' exclaimed tho wardoo. 'Well,
never mind, can yon shave?' Tho mm
roplied that ho had often shaved lili
companions. 'All right, suppose I sci
what kind of a barber YOU are. 'Will
that he took a seat in Ins chair, bandee
tho criminal a razor, and was shaved
'Hill went faithfully through his duty
and when he had iinislied tho captan
said: 'They told mo that you won
Avatching for a chanco lb kill mo, so j
thought I would givo yJu as good a on<
as you could ask forc that was all,
'Bill' slunk shoepishlvfawav, and iron
thence tho captain hatlno firmer frienc
than tho desperate criminal.
Mi
Tho I) u tuber of jiersoifi
the Purls Exposition on a jecemV day,,
by payment, amounted to OY?r 09,000.,
-Ono of tho "suro euros of con
sumption" co'd in Philadelphia was
analyzed the other day and found to
i consist DI ruui, molasses ana extract of :
' dandelion.
-Bishop, tho mind reader, left an
estate valued at $250, which goes to
provo that people who mind other -peo*
pie's minds do not gather in tho
shekels.
-Christino Nilsson outbid thc
Louvro lately in a raCo for a Madonna
of Mabuso. The Louvre agent bid 37,?
000 francs and Mme. Nilsson gol the:
picture by one of 40,000 francs.
-Some Ingenious arithmetician has
calculated that the 80,000,000 stamps
issued by the English Post Ofllco from
1840 to 1884, if placed end to end,
would roach to the moon and back.
-Some men are born to be drowned , '
in frosh water and others in salt water.
A Damnark passenger actually jour- .
neyed ad tho way to South Manitou,.
Mich., to meet his death in the
lake.
-Tho kangaroo is said to have got
its name in this way: Captain Cook
first discovered tho animal in Aus-,
tralla. When ho inquired its name ot
a natl ye tho latter replied:' 'Kanga
roo," which, in the Australian lan
guage, is "I don't know."
-Large tobacco farms, to be
worked and managed by 'skilled Cu
bans, have Just been established at
De Funiak Springs, Fla. Tobacco .
grown there from Havana soed is said
to bo even finer and moro delicately
flavored than that from Cuba itself.
-During tho last eleven years nearly
.30,000 persono have igst their lives lu- .
trading und fishing vessels, the worst
year being that of 1881-82, when 3,612
persons perished at sea. In the last .
year, however, for which there are re
turns, 1880-87, the numbor of lives lost
on vessels had fallen to 2,071.
-The people of Cardiff, Wales, wit
nessed a somewhat singular phenome
non. lt was noticed that after a fall
of rain pools of water in tho thorough
fares were tinged with red-tho effect
of what is known as "red iain." In
past generations this appearance pro/
ducod tho gravest alarm, a fall of so
called "bloody rain" being regarded as
a sure precursor of plague.
-At Kondout-on-the-IIudson a man.
died, leaving a property valued at
$2000. This was partly mortgaged.
The mortgage and costs involved
amounted to $1990, thus leaving but
$1 to be divided among the widow and
fourteen heirs. Tho window will,
however, have only tho uso of this dol
lar during her lifetime, and must leave
it to tho heirs at her death.
-At the Harvard observatory there
are eight women now at work under
the supervision of Prof. Pickering, not
as students but as valuablo assistants
in Iiis spectroscopic study of the star?.
In the different departments supported .
by tho Draper memorial fund, tho
Boynton fund, and contlgent fundt
these assistants are engaged in compu
tations, in study of photographs, and
In other necessary branches connected
with observatory work.
-A despatch from Findlay, Ohio,
reports that while Henry Gromdie, liv
ing on Limestone Ridge, over M-ho lind
in Wyandot county, was plowing, one
of his horse broke through the earth !
into a deep holofi The.animal was\rmn . ,
cued from its position with great ditn
culty. Upon examining' tho spot,
Greindle found a largo hole loadiug
perpendicularly down Into tho earth,
and subsecpicnt investiga! ions, it is as
serted, revealed caverns that may to
somo extent duplicata those of Luray.
-Some time ago Mrs. Langtry en
gaged a chef at a salary of $16 a day?
to tako entire chargo and provide
everything for her kitchen. The chef,
a Frenchman by the name of Broche,
soon found out that, owing to tho lux?
urious tastes of his mistress, the sum
allowed him was entirely indeaquato
for the contract. He brought In a bill
for extra marketing amounting to $225,
which Mrs. Langtry refused pay. Ile
brought suit against her in tho Now
York courts.
-A stalactite cave of enormous ex
tent has been discovered at Iteclero,.
close to the French frontier and is at
tracting considerable interest among
geologists and others. The wfiole ex
tent of the cave has not yot been as
certained, but an idea can bo formed
of its size from tho circumstance that a
Bhort timo ago two exploring parties
visited the cave, ono entering at 8 A.
M., and the other at ll A. M., and
each party roamed for about two hours
without coming across the other. Tlrd
cave is fairly dry, containing so far/as;
now ascertained, only a small pomC
and it can be entered with, "perfect,
safety.
-Ono of the prangest pieces of ar?
tdlery in Eu.ix)f0 is at Metz and is
known by th* name oC the 'Griffin,"
ff?ttt tho figure of the fabulous animal
which is to be found among the orna
mental portion of Its workmanship.
Tho gun was cast in 1529 at Ehren
breitstein, near Cobientz. It is 17 feet
In length and 3 in diameter. Tho bore
is 20? inches; weight, 22,500 pounds.
Its carriage is 24 feet in length, and
the weight of the ball which lt carries
is 150 poucds; 42 pounds of powder is
required for the charge. Napoleon in
tended it for V e War Department,
Paris, but found difficulty in transport
ing it,
, -Fourteen carrier pigeons were
taken to New York from Newport on
the United States steamer Juniata on.
lier recent trip. The birds were trained!
to fly only from Point Judith, and the<
Intention was to liberate them off that/
point on the day of the ship's departure, ,
but as tho weather was thick, they
wore not flown, being taken on to New
Yorkl While the ship was there one
of the birds escaped, and a Mr. Bolton^,
to whom it belonged, considered it lostt
to him, ai it bad nevor flown from a
grouter distance than Point Judith,
and hence could not be expected to
know its way from Now York, Great
was Mr. Bolton's surpiise, therefoio,
when tho bird subsequently arrived at
bis loft in Newport, safe and lu good
condition.
-In Brazil thoro is a trlbo called
Caf usos, which has sprung into exist
ence by marriage between tho long,: ; ft?
stiff-haired natives and tho imported fe*?
negro slave?. As might be oxpect'ed f
from tho admixtures of thoso o\tremes,
thoso people possess hair of very extra
ordinary kind, lt rises perpendicularly
from the head lu thick curly masses
and forms a wig of such enormous di
mensions that tho possessors must e
stoop low when entering their huts. J,,,
Friendship lasts ns long as tho p'otv
hoi:?.
IS
\
I*
0
u
UBj