University of South Carolina Libraries
c ? *. . mm " *VHY DO,YOU i j^gr; ?- Uh man with eager eyes '/\ . ^ 1 V; Why do you hurry so? In vour haste to gain the prize ? i \ou miss much as you go; *You hear no song birds sing. ^Nor stray in flowery places; You never stay to bring Glad smiles to weary faces? ' Whv do vou hurrv so? -- Oh star a little, stay! 1 Why do you hurry so? ' . There are blossoms along the W3J That never again shall blow; The grave is at the end Of the way that you are taking? T Stay a little, friend, ? ' And soothe some heart that's aching? Why do you hurry so? Bg|b: * I 1 Mrs, Lati ? ?yT N SCONCED in the depths of < ==/ her big arm-chair, a smile ~~^ lighting up her line old fac? < that her white hair framed j with a crown of snow, Mrs. Harmon was considering her nephew Andrew, < a good-looking young fellow of tweq- ' ty-eight, who, for his part, was consid- < ering the timepiece on the mantel, i whose hands were already well past ; fhree o'clock. "Well, Andrew, do you. find my clock ' : - very interesting?" * t In some confusion the young man < 1^:: stammered an excuse, but she went \ on: "Now don't deny it, you naughty fel- i low. You wanted to know If your visit 1 had lasted long enough for you to take i S&v- your, departure decently." 1 "Not at all, aunt. Your guess is quite ] r T 1 u ..I . . wrong, ior j. iia\cui ixie siigmcsi uiKntion of going yet But why do you 1 j&f keep a regular sun-dial like that in i j?i your drawing room?" "Perhaps because I was born so long ] jj|- ago that it is 1 and not the clock that 1 v. . is behind time. But come?instead of 1 ; ; criticising my drawing room, tell me i If. what you are going to do when you 1 ^ leave here." "In the iirst place, I am not going to i :.: leave here for some time; but when I | have wearied you with my presence 1 g > until you cannot stand it any longer, 1 it will be tigie for me to go to Mrs. i Bp* Baton's tea." 1 "Mrs. Laton?Pauline Laton?" 3 ^ "The same." "Ah, yes; I used to see her some time ago. I remember her vaguely?a 1 Ipfci; large woman, dark " 1 "She is a blonde, aunt." "Indeed? She used to be a brunette. 1 And so you are sighing at the feet of << ||^ Mrs. Laton?" i Wv- "We are all sighing at her feet." ? ? "She must enjoy it." i - *Well, I rather think she does." Ipt/ "Is lt fun?" 3 ' "Yes. after a fashion. We are nlways the same little circlfc of friends, ( < . and then, beside Mrs. Laton, there's a t sister, a rather good-looking girl, and a few other young matrons and bache- i %' elor girls." "And what do you do besides look at * Bfppi^hese women?" ~ ^ ? f "We take tea, we gossip and we c gp-f flirt" "Oh, oh!" f ' "But my dear aunt, one must do I something between 5 o'clock and din- I fejp ner." - t "Evidently; and flirting is what you * Sglt^ have found to do?" 1 Bp/ "It's a way to kill time." 1 "I scarcely know just what you ? mean by the term. Explain it to me." s j| ^ "Oh, impossible. A definition for the * 1, word has long been sought, but it has 1 ? not yet been found. But, given a ? ? young woman tete-a-tete with a young man who Is not a fool, and I warrant | ? you It won't be long before you have * ' a practical demonstration. Flirtation * ; Is a manner of becoming discreetly in- ^ ' ; discreet. To know how to flirt is no 1 : ? , common accomplishment. It is a veritable .science." d "And is love a science, too?" t JSt - "No; it is rather an art." "And marriage?what is It?" "Oh, that is philosophy." g "Indeed? At what age does one at- s tain this philosophy?" f "As late as possible." I "It seems to me that at twenty-eight ^ "Aunt, aunt!" cried Andrew, spring- * 1 ing from.his chair, "confess that you a are concocting some terrible plot. You ? look as guilty as a conspirator." i Mrs. Harmon smiled a fine smile and c enjoyed for a moment the consterna- I tion in her victim's face. Then she answered, after a pause: a "Yes, you are right I wish to get Sj|irv you married." t "In heaven's name, what have I done to you?" gasped the young man. with * comic seriousness; and as the oldjady d still smiled, he continued. "See here, aunt, I should never have suspected * you of such a thing. You, a woman of Intelligence, a superior woman, de- i scending to the-ro!?*&f 'matchmaker! a fe?sfterrible shattering of my ^ fp Ideals." i "Come, come, my poor boy, do not s be so cast down. The girl is charm- J ing, I can assure you." "Of course," Andrew burst out, "the t girl is always charming. Oh, 1 know c hpr; I can see her now; she may not * ~ be exactly pretty, but as you have said, she is charming. She dresses admira- c bly, and makes all her own gowns, f She stood at the head of her class in ^ school, and attends lectures now. Moreover, she has taken cooking les- 1 sons and can put up preserves. She plays the piano, she sings, she paints, t and she has a tidy fortune in her own 1 right. Bah! No, a thousand times, no! < I do not want this miracle of perfec- 1 tion. I know a thing or two, aunt, ?' even if I don't look it, and if I marry i I shall marry a woman who suits me. 1 But I know girls?they are all alike, i and I know what they are and what they are worth. There isn't one who s suits me, or can suit me, and I shall i remain a bachelor." < "And you go to take tea at Mrs. Laton's," murmured Mrs. Harmon, be- < tween her teeth, while a disturbing 1 expression came into her clear-seeing j old eyes. < Under this ironical and even in- 1 quisitorial look Andrew lost counten- 1 ance .a little; he could not deny that < to matrimony he preferred flirting J with Mrs. Laton. t He was pulling himself together to s reniv. or rather to defend himself, when the street door bell was heard. i "A caller, eh? Is this your reception 1 daj% aunt, or do you. too, give your 1 friends tea at five o'clock?" 1 "You arc impertinent, nephew. At 1 my age a woman does not give five o'clock flirtations. It is not even a < caller. I am sure it is my little friend * Kosamond, the 'charming girl' I spoke J ^ of." i "I shall flee, then." 1 *- you not wish even to see her?" < "Never! Or,-if you insist, I shall go i into this little ante-room and look at her through the crack of the door. That is the only concession I shall make," ] E and the young man stepped quickly < I into the next room as the opposite < imflrm t ? - < HURRY SO? Oh inRidcn -with deep eves, Why do you hurry sot A world of sorrow lies Out where you long to go; You put your books away And coil your braided tresses, And. turning from wild play. Are stately in long dresses ? Why do you hurry so? Oh stay a little while. Why do you hurry so? I see you sweetly smile. * * And heaven is here below;" But oh you long to flee From youth and maiden glory, To grieve too late and be The pathos of the story? Why do you hurry so? ?PluVaco Tvfvnrd.TTerfllA 3n'S imJ iloor opened to admit the visitor; through the slit Andrew could make out the graceful silhouette of a young girl. "How do you do, Mrs. Harmon?" said the girl, as she entered the room. "I have brought back the little books on the orphan asylum that you lent mamma. May I stay a moment with rou?" She continued to keep ber back toward Andrew, and he, now beginning o get tired of the game, had about concluded that^ she must be frightfully ugly. "Sit down here, dear, beside me," and Mrs. Harmon easily contrived to place the girl just opposite the small room; and the young man, approaching his eye to the crack, was struck by the orettv face he beheld. "Well, Rosamond, what are you doing nowadays? Are you going out much ?" "Xo, very little. I had a card for Mrs. Laton's tea this afternoon, but I wrote her I was ill. You will not betray me. will you?" and she laughed a merry laugh that set Andrew's heart to vibrating. "Do you not care for such affairs?" isked Mrs. Harmon. "Sure, Mrs. Harmon, you do not hink it would be amusing to spend an iour or two watching Mrs. Laton's flirtations, with no one to talk to, but :he insipid women and stupid men of ler set?" "You are severe, my child." "Severe? Well, with a woman like Mrs. Laton I do not think, one can be :oo much so." Instinctively Mrs. Harmon raised ler eyes to the door that concealed Yndrew, and, under pretext of arrangng the portiere, she crossed the room, ind, as she rearranged the drapery, whispered to her nephew: "It's nearly five?you'll be late for rour tea." But ler warning was unheeded; AnIrew did not budge. As for the girl by he fire, she was still full of her idea. "Do you know Mrs. Laton, Mrs. Harnon?" she asked. "Yes, yes," the old lady hastened to eply, and to turn the conversation she vent on. "But you are wrong to deoil OT?a TLnrn Mlir till* I ail 1UCU U1U ClU^/tU. XUV.1V ire some who are quite sensible." "Sensible? Well, I don't know* them. . do not mean that they are all stupid, >ut they think themselves so superior hat they are wearisome. They are *ain, insufferable bores, with their >lase airs and their ideas that they are rresistible because they can flirt with drs. Laton, who has bleached hair, :mears paint on her face as if it were i palette, and whose brains are good 'or nothing but to devise outrageous fowns." Again Mrs. Harmon cast an uneasy fiance toward the little room, in which Lndrew was fast waxing angry. He vould have liked to strangle this girl, vhose superb health, and triumphant >eairty irritated him. "And when will you get married, my [ear?" suggested Mrs. Harmon, again browing herself into the breach. "I shall never marry." "Indeed? Why not?" "Why not?" repeated Rosamond, a hadow of melancholy coming over her ace that Andrew admired in spite of limself. "Because I am a little fool vho cannot do as the rest do. I would vish to love my husband and to have lim love me. I would wish to marry i man whom I should single from imong the re^t for his goodness and ntelligence. I would wish to have a onfidence in him, and above all to be >roud of him." A ? />? ?! fnAl'A oV*/1 lvo/l KnOATltn no liic l opvac ouv uau MCCVIUW mimated with a gentle exaltation, vhich was not without its effect on he young man behind the door. "Well, Rosamond," said Mrs. Har on, "why do you not realize your [ream?" "Because there are no young men towadays who care to look for a girl vho pleases them. Marriage for them s a matter of business, nothing more, tnd vhe woman herself does not count. Chey marry when they have lost their noney, and the little heart they posessed has been frittered away on some irs. Latou or another." Again Mrs. Harmon arose, and preending she had an order to give, excised herself and hastened to her lephew. "Well, aunt, she has given us a nice iressing down, eh? For a 'charming jirl,' I would back her against the vorld." "Hurry, Andrew; it is late, and you lave almost missed your tea." "My teaT' he repeated. "Bother my ea! Is there nothing else in the world >ut my tea? Now, you must lind an ?xcuse to bring me into the room and ['11 show that young shrew whether ill men are fools. Oh, she need have 10 fear, I shall not try to marry her, .'or I still have all my hair, a little noney and a heart still intact." Mrs. Harmon could not restrain a anile at the young man's vexation, and ivp minutes Inter Andrew entered the" lrawing room. But contrary to all expectations, the ?onversation did not become a war of ivords; on the contrary, the girl's fresh jayety disarmed Andrew's anger at )nce. His preconception fled before ier dimpled smiles and her gentle roice, and he soon fell under her ;harin, forgetting his anger in his admiration of her graceful movements, he penetrating timbre of her voice, the ?parkle of her wit. The hour for the tea had long passed md Andrew was still there. He had lost all desire to run after Mrs. Baton, [hat faded doll whom Rosamond?as tie was forced to admit to himself? lad portrayed so truthfully. And esconced once more in the Jepths of her arm-chair, Mrs. Harmon smiled a kindly smile, and silently regarded the young people, who for their r>art, looked at one another with looks that do not deceive and in which the }id aunt read with joy the hope of a happy union.?Waverley Magazine. News paper has advanced seventy per cent, in Germany in two years. A German trust controls ninety-five per [rent, of the production. / / ETHICS OF ADVERTISING. Ridicnlonsness of the Code Which Got- ! erns Doctors and Lawyers. A writer In Publicity, presumably a lawyer, writes entertainingly on the ethics of his profession in so far as it relates to advertising, and taboos the professional man, be he lawyer, doc- ( tor or clergyman, who advertises. It would appear that he argues from a premise contradictory in its statement, only to reach, as he neces- I sarily must, an illogical conclusion, ' not warranted by the Intermediate ; syllogisms. It is false logic, and needs must fall. The fact that he admits advertising has practically become a science and "that the advertiser?the one who has, perhaps, maae a life study of the ben- J efits of his own system or those of ; other equally broad-minded men?is i justified in assuming that every man ! has his own interests at heart, and i that with every business man of am- j bition the advancement of his own ! business occupies the same position, j If, then, the advertiser believes ad- j vertislng to be one of the most im- j portant stages on the high road to j business success, why is he not jus- ; titled in his endeavor to persuade tlu ! physician or the purist that unless he | advertises he pursues a phantom in the fornl of legitimate personal and ; professional fame and marked finan-! cial benefit?" Of course he is justified, and it is | only the hide-bound rule of the years j when newspapers and other vehicles of advertising were nou-existent that ! trammels him to-day to outer into j competition with his mercantile j brother. The writer assumes that there are j many members of the legal profession who would advertise, to the detriment of their more conservative brethren, j Possibly that is true. This is not the*! age of tho tallow dip or stage coach, j and he who falls in the race need not i start on crutches. The etiquette and morals of the bar are high-sounding and sonorbus 1 phrases, but the average newspaper j reporter with any court experience at all knows what a sham the ethics of that profession are, and that free ad- j vertising is eagerly sought for by the highest counselor or by the police , court solicitor. The suggestion has been made, and [ an admirable one, too, that the papers refuse to print the names of lawyers { or physicians in prominent cases uu- ; less they advertised. Lawyers furnish their briefs to newspapers; often prepare interviews; physicians write their own account of difficult operations, and clergymen; synopsis of their sermons, and the newspaper publishes it in choice posi- j tion without reaping a penny of profit. The enterprising lawyer or physician who casts aside the so-called ethics of the profession and advertises | may incur the ill-will of his laggard j competitor, but he will have demon- j strated that this is the twentieth cen- j tury, not the sixteenth.?Fourth Es- ! tate. WORDS OK WISDOM. Seek happiness for yourself, and you | will lose it; seek it for others, and you 1 will find it. Books without the knowledge of life i are useless; for what should books i teach but the art of living? It is by presence of mind in untried emergencies, said Lowell, that the na- ; tive metal of a man is tested. Good counsels observed are chains to grace, which, neglected, prove halt- I ers to strange undutiful children. Imprudence, silly talk, foolish van ; ity and vain curiosity are closely al- j lied; they are children of one family. If one always takes a short cut through life they sometimes regret ! they did not go the round about way. j Life is to be fortified by many i friendships; to love and to be loved make up the greatest happiness of ex- i istence. There are two things in wmcn we ; should thoroughly Train ourselves?to | be slow In taking offence and to be i slower in giving it. Habits, soft and pliant at first, are like some coral stones, which are l easily cut when first quarried, but soon become hard as adamant. No man can tell whether he Is rich or poor by turning to his ledger. It is , the heart that makes a man rich. He j is rich or poor according to what he j is, not according to what he has. j How Women Met an Emergency. A curious outcome of technical edu- j cation for women was shown during the past year in the case of a man who by failure in business was re- j duced to poverty. He had a capable i family, and his daughters at once j sought for situations as dressmakers j and milliners. In the latter trade j there was no prospect of immediate > remuneration, as it is customary for . the beginners to give three months of i service, both spring and fall, without j receiving wages. The second daugh- ! ter got a place to sew in a dressmak- | ing establishment at small wages, and I the father's efforts to make a living were hampered by his advanced years, j Then the mother took a hand. She I had been raised on a farm and sought i and found employment tying up vege- j tables for market. In this industry ! the chief requisites are careful count- ; ing and honesty, early rising and in- j dustry. She actually made enough j money to keep the family for three ; months, but then she did not have to j spend money to dress up to the si tun- ; tion. and was paid for her work at the J end of each day.?Philadelphia Record, j Heard in an Open Car. People talk in open cars with a wonderful appearance of security. Nobody seems to think anybody can hear in the seat in front, or the seat behind, j especially in the evening, and if elec- ! trie light were not as good a conductor ' of private conversation as daylight, j Two women were running down a mil- ; tual acquaintance volubly in an open car the other night, when one of them I summed up the case in these final j words: "He is a selfish, cynical pig." A cynical pig would have been eag- ! orly advertised by Barnura, if he had j had such an animal in the greatest j show that used to be on earth.?New j York Mail and Express. . Prize Fish Story. The fish story record stands sliat- i tered. This is the latest, and it is | vouched for in all seriousness: In 1S73 ! a fisherman took some trout through ! the ice in Central Wisconsin. The ! largest trout was placed in a cold storage warehouse, and afterwards for- ' gotten. Eleven years later the warehouse was burned, and, to save the ! ice, enough water was thrown on to fill up the water-tight cellar below. ' Three years later 447 trout were taken out of the cellar, in addition to the original one, identified through lack j ' of an eye and a broken tail, which had j evidently fallen into the water when | the. warehouse was destroyed, thawed ! out and spawned. OUR BUDGET OF HUMOR LAUGHTER-PROVOKING STORIES FOR LOVERS OF FUN. And That Settled It?A Hint?The Mighty , Dollar?Abstruse and Catchy?Keasonable?The Vaudeville Dip?An Odd Cane ?He Immediately Supplied One. Etc. The queen was in the counting house. Counting out tier money; The king was in his iron room, Looking scared and funny; The maid was in the garden, Hanging up her clothes; Along came a bombshell And blowed off her nose! ?Indianapolis Sun. A Hint. Iler Admirer?"Love lives on hope, you know." She?"Yes; and one wonders, sometimes, how It finds any!"?Puck. The Mighty Dollar. "Do you think the acquisition of great wealth is a good thing?" "I know it. Why, It makes us love our enemies."?Detroit Free Tress. Abstruse and Catchy. "Here's a new book called 'If.'" "How absurd; what are you going to name your exhaustive work on languages?" "I thought of calling it 'Say.'" Reasonable. Mrs. .Tones ? "They say bachelors should be taxed, but I don't think they are always to blame." Mr. Jones?"Certainly not! No man is always to blame until he gets mar riedl"?ruck. The Vandevlllo Dip. "Daughter, perhaps If you take more time "with your liair it wouldn't look so rough ;?ad baggy over your left eye." "Time? Why, pa. It took me two solid hours to make it look that way." ?Chicago Record-Herald. An Odd Case. Nearpass?"I see that a man committed suicide because he thought -: had outlived his usefulness." Bennct?"That's strange. The average victim of that complaint keeps right on outliving it."?Tuck. He Immediately Supplied One. "It takes a clever man to think up a good proverb," remarked Mrs. Twiccwed, and then for once her worser one-eighth plucked up courage. "Oh, I don't know," said he; "how's this, 4A11 grass widows are notgreen.'" ?Philadelphia Press. Scientific. Tadpole?'Ta, what's the difference between a mushroom and a toadstool?" Mr. Frog?"Oh, sonny, when a toadstool tries to poison somebody and can't these botanist men up and say he's a mushroom." ________ 4 Impoverishing Family Ties. "Yes, my little sister was a good stenographer, but I had to get her another position." "What was the trouble?" "Oh, every time I left the office she would call out: 'Bring me some candy.' "?Chicago Record-Herald. Moral: Don't Drop Your G'?. "Mamma," said little Bertie, "do ravens have headaches?" "Why, no, my dear," the child's mother answered, "what makes you ask such a question as that?" "Well, I heard papa say this morning that he had a raven headache." Shrewd. "I insist that my daughter shall play nothing but classical music," said Mr. Slriups Barker. "For what reason?" "None of the neighbors know a thing about it, and she can murder a piece all she wants to, without their daring to say a word." Much Cleverer. "Don't you think a woman is clever enough to do any work that a man can?" inquired the lady with a resolute jaw. "Oh, she is much cleverer than that," answered Miss Cayenne. "She is clever enough to make the man do the work and give her the benefit of it."? Washington Star. Meant Well, But Made Him JiervouB. Mr. Fijjit?"Please don't send that messenger boy who stutters up to my house again." Telegraph Manager?"What did he do?" Mr. Fijjit?"Nothing; but I gave him a twenty-five-cent piece, and he hung around all afternoon trying to say > 'thanks.' "?Ohio State Journal. To Correspond. "I wonder why," said the girl in the pale green shirt waist, "the vertical system of penmanship is becoming unfashionable nowadays." "Have you forgotten," replied the i girl in the Gainsborough hat, "that in ! the best circles we have discarded the j vertical system of walking and adopted a modified slant?"?Chicago Tri- 1 bune. His Observation. "It is strange how often the nnde- J serving seem to prosper," remarked the thoughtful man. "Yes," answered Senator Sorghum. "I have noted such a tendency in affairs with growing apprehension. Every once in a while some one without any money or influence worth mentioning gets an office."?Washington Star. Prudence. "What made you jump into the midst of the fight?" inquired the friend. "You had nothing to do with the feud these men were trying to set ne. ; "That's perfectly true," answered Colonel Stilwell. "But I had to take , sides one way or the other. I couldn't take chances on being an innocent by- ! stander." An Ardess Dodger. Citizen?"I want a perfectly noiseless lawn mower." Dealer?"You are a very considerate person." I Citizen?"Yes. 1 have to be; if I can't get up early and cut grass without the neighbors hearing me I'll have to lend that lawn mower seven times before I get to use it again myself."? C hi ca go It ecord -11 era Id. A l'os?ible Motive. Detectives in Richmond, Yn., according to a newspaper, recently found two gold watches, which had been stolen, under a hen engaged apparently in the ambition of hatching spring chickens. It is believed that the thieves put the watches there to set them.?New York Commercial Advertiser. A hundred years ago the largest fortune in the United States was $2.">0,-000. Now there are several fortunes of more than $200,000,000. j TRAFFIC IN WASHED CLOTHES. Men Who Buy UncallecMor Parcels at Chinese Laundries. "Speaking of laundries and Chinamen," remarked one of the hearers of i the story of the laundry marks, "do ! you know that a number of men here in New Orleans make a good living by ; buying^ up the unclaimed packages of laundries? In New Orleans there are 205 Chinese laundries, and in each of them many packages of laundry are never called for. The Chinese proprietor keeps these packages thirty days and if the owners do not claim them in that time they arc sold u>r the laundry charges to anyone who cares to purchase. Look into a Chinese laundry and you will see several upper shelves crowded with dusty-looking packages. These arc uncalled-for packages, and the Chinaman is keeping them should the owners call for their linen, buj the chances are that when the parcels are put upon these upper shelves thev j will not be cailcd for. The men who have their laundry done by Chinese washermen arc not infrequently birds of passage, who, from one cause or another, lose their laundry. The cause may be carelessness, forget fulness, leaving town or going broke. "You will be surprised at the amount of clothing lost in this way by owners and accumulated in the laundries, i When a week goes by and the owner does not call with his wash ticket the laundry keeper no longer expects him, for the Chinese laundry patron is generally a prompt customer with a small wardrobe. Then, after a week, the bundle goes up on the shelf, and it remains there until the purchaser comes along. He is sometimes a man in reduced circumstances and needy, who wants to outfit himself with another man's clothes at a trifling cost, but generally he is a 'peculator. The Chinaman is glad to let the clothes go for the amount of the wash dues against them, and the speculator strikes any number of bargains, for generally linen worth a Chinaman's work is worth a few cents asked for the charges against it. These speculators go around from laundry to laundry, and wagonloads of goods are bought up by him for almost nothing. It is pretty much of a lottery, for the wily Chinaman will not permit the speculator to examine the contents of the bundles before buying. He is like a man buying a pig in a poke, and the only guide he has is what the Chinaman tells him is in the bundle. Men's garments bought by speculators are sold to second-hand stores, sailors and negroes. Women's clothes are not often left uncalled-for, and very seldom are any of them left on the upper shelves of laundries. A bundle of laundry on which the dealer in them pays fifty cents for the washing will net him generally three times his outlay when he has peddled the contents of the package. At least a dozen men in New Orleans arc getting rich buying up unclaimed laundry bundles.?New Orleans TimesDcvsocrat. TO BE EXPECTED. Professor Dc Science?"Statistics show that men arc growing shorter and women are growing taller." T ''Wt T ctnn'l- Irnnu: r>f anything that has such a stretchy effect as hanging on to street-car straps."? New York Weekly. A tsalloon Ascenslonist Killed. A balloon aecentionit-t was recently killed while making one of liis daring trips. Life is too valuable to trifle with in fool-har ly adventuros. It is better to employ ourselves in peaceful pursuits where we may be secure. Then if we take care of our health,we can live to a good old age. Th* best means of promoting health is Ho^tatter's Stoma-h Bitters. This mfdicun cures dyspepsia, indigestion, constipation, flatulency and insomnia. Ee sure to try it. Dried banana meal finds a ready sale in Europe because of its great nutritive qualities. Putxam Fadeless Dyes are fast to sunlight, washing and rubbing. Sold by all druggists. In a certain Western State there are two families, one named Day and the other Sunday. They are neighbors. Mr. Day is the father of seven girls, while Mr. Sunday has an equal number of boys. Four of the sons have married Sundays, another is engaged, so it now appears that "every Day will be Sunday by and by." . _ Ladies Can Wear Shoes One sire smaller after using Allen's FootEase, a powder for the feet. It makes tight or new shoes easy. Cures swollen, hot, sweating, aching feet, ingrowing nails, corns and bunions. At all druggists and shoe stores, 25c. Trial package Fit EE by mail. Address Allen S. Olmsted, Le Eoy, N. Y. The trouble with the budding genius is - - ' -J j.1__ U..J that he is trequentiy mppea m mc uuu. Best For the Bowels. No matter what ails von, headache to a cancer, yon will never get well until your bowels are pnt right. Cascakets help nature, cure you without a gripe or paiu, produce easy natural movements, cost you just 10 cents to start getting your health baok. Cascarets Candy Cathartic, the genuine, put up in metal boxes, every tablet has C.C.C. stamped on it. Beware of imitations. American wheat has been found to be excellent for the manufacture of Italian macaroni. A LUXUF Watch our next advei Just try a package < the reason of its pop CONVINCING "HIS CHUM. Johnny (in the garden)?Father! fa- | titer! look out of the window. Father (putting out his head)?What j a nuisance you children are. What do you want now? Johnny (with a triumphant glance at his playfellow) ? Tommy Brooks wouldn't believe you'd got no hair on the top of your head.?Tit-Bits. A CAUSE OF CONTENTMENT. | J "I trust, sir, that you have experienced ; that marriage conduces to your comfort, j happiness and peace of mind," said the ' stately and pompous old friend of the i family. "Very much so. indeed, sir," replied , the benedict. "I don't have to look for- j ward to it."?AVic York Commercial | WEATHER PERMITTING. "I understand you had quite a sale for your game of parlor-golf?" remarked the inventor's friend. "Yes; but it's played out now," replied the inventor. "Why, how's that?" "It's played out, now."?Catholic Standard and Times. Caret Eczema, Itching' Humor*. B. B. B. (Botanic Blood Balm') cures all skin eruptions, itching humors, eczema, watery blisters, scabs, scales, festering sores, boils, carbuncles; heals every soro by giving a ! healthy blood supply to the skin. ?ld, | deep-seated canes after all else :ans. ^ruggists, $1. Describe symptoms and treatment sent free and prepaid by writing Dr. Gillam, 12 Mitchell street. Atlanta, Ga. Germany's share in the traffic of the Suez Canal has increased greatly at the expense of England. FITS permanently cured. No fits or nervonsi nees after first day's use of Dr. Kline's Great Nerve Restorer. $2 trial bottle and tre^tiaa free Dr.R.H.Kline, Ltd., PS1 Arch St., Phila. Pa ! An exposition of British products is ; planned lor next winter in St. Petersburg. i Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for children j teething, so'teivthe gums, reduces inflammaj tion,allays pain, cures wiud colio. 25c a botth Western Siberia affords a good market for American manufacturers of milk cans. Pieo's Cure for Consumption is an infallible medicine for coughs and colds.?N.W.Sasiuel, i Ocean Grove, N. J., Feb. 17, 1900. i There are in the world twenty-four presidents and only twenty kings. W. H. Griffin, Jackson, Michigan, writes: "Suffered with Catarrh for fifteen years. Hall's Catarrh Cure cured me." Sold by Druggists, 75c. Married women are usually advocates of home rule. Are Your Eyes Sore? If your eyes aro weak or sore Jno. R. Dickey's Old Reliable Kyo-waier will cure tbem at once. Don't burn or hurt. :&ets. Dickey Drug Co., Bristol, Tenn. There is a demand in Germany for smoke consuming furnaces. Sea advt. or smithdeaxs uusijjess lyomsun A man may be as strong as a bull, and still be cowed. Hair Falls I "I tried Ayer's Hair Vigor to I stop my hair from falling. OneI half a bottle cured me." i | J. C. Baxter, Braidwood, 111. | 8 Ayer's Hair Vigor is j 8 certainly the most ecoI nomical preparation of its kind on the market. A j little of it goes a long way. \ { It doesn't take much of S I it to stop falling of the i hair, make the hair grow, g and restore color to gray I hair. $1.00 a bottle. All drngrfsts. 1 If your druggist cannot supply you, 1 send us one dollar and wo will express X you a bottle. Be sure and give tho name jg of your nearest express office. Addresfe.- 2 J. C. AYJER CO., Lowell, Mass; 8 w . a a Liver Fins That's what you need; someching to cure your biliousness and give you a good digestion. Ayer's Pills are liver pills. They cure constipation and biliousness. Gently laxative. All druggists. J Want your moustache or beard a beautiful brown or rich black ? Theu use BUCKINGHAM'S DYE Whiskers I 80 cts. or Dsuoaisrs, on r. p. hall & Co.. nasmca, w. h. UseCERTAINSCIIBE.il "The Sauce that made West Point ram#n?.B | MclLHENNY'S TABASCO. | fY WITHIN THE REACH 11 Whit Hi IIIUI VI / i\ The net is / jlyJj But what *> l3l guesse As at the The haul ?. Excitemenl i? What wil B ) I 1 nct? w pi I Jl I L Like our ^ Has prizes "*v Conjecture For childre Septembe Remember To groce That upon LION C If he's witl A two-cei You'll get The LIC rtisement. Of LION COFFEE an ularity. J , I I DO YOU SHOOT^7^ If you do yon ftOuH send your name and address on a postal card for a WINCHESTER GUN CATALOGUE. IT'S FREE. It illustrates and describes all the different Winchester Rifles, Shotguns and . Ammunition, and contains much valuable information. Send at once to the Winchester Repeating Armo Co.. New Haven, Conn. * \ " " 1 m ttw rrevcm Baldness Croln nf r.inicfc /"Villi Vl^ailOW lliv UVUip vr* VI Scales, and Dandruff by Shampoos with ?! f&ticjjra & D A f' | - -.Li a rimciIPAi nurest of Ana ngni UI wauigo TT*ui WW . ^ r emollients and greatest of skin cures, litis if treatment at once stops falling hair, removes crusts, scales, and dandruff, soothes irritated, itching surfaces, stimulates the hair follicles, supplies the roots with energy and nourishment, ? ~s; and makes the hair grow upon a sweet, wholesome, healthy scalp when all else fails. Millions of Women USE CUTICURA SOAP, assisted by Cuticura Ointment, die great skin cure, for preserving, purifying, and beautifying the skin, for cleansing the scalp of crusts, scales and dandruff, and the stopping of falling hair, for softening, whitening, and soothing red, rough, and sore hands, for baby rashes, itching*, and chafings, in the form of baths for annoying irritations and inflammations, or too free or offensive perspiration, in the form of washes for ulcerative weaknesses, ana many sanative, antiseptic purposes which readily suggest themselves to women and mothers, and for all the purposes of the toilet, bath, and nursery* No amount of persuasion can induce those who have once used these great skin purifiers andbeautifiers to use any others* CUTICURA SOAP combines in ONE SOAP at ONE PRICE, the BEST skin and complexion soap, the BEST toilet and baby soap in the world. < ? Complete External and Internal Treatment for Every Humour, 0*4 j Consisting of Cuticuxa Soap, to cleanse the skin of crusts and nllflfllll'Q scales ana soften the thickened cuticle, CtrncunA Onrmsrz. to 111 alii III Km Instantly allay Itching, Inflammation, and irritation, and soothe * and heal, and Cuticura JUsoltxnt, to cool and cleanse the ? ? blood. A Single 8rr is often sufficient to core the most tortnr. ? " ?? ? umi timuinn . -v: THE SET log, disfiguring, and nominating mid, amp, uu wvw ?_ with loss ot hair, when all else faue SokI throngbont the world. British Depot: F? New. %$? BERT A Sons, 87-28, Charterhouse Sq., London. Porcxa Dhuo jjid Crnoc. Cobp., Soli ^ Props.. Boston, U. 8. A. TkC^CfpaDy,^? World Renowned CHICAGO COTTAGE ORGANS. Over 250,0C0 sold. Write as for catalogue and prices. We make easy payments to suit you. America's Greatest Piano House, fW8 Whitehall St, Atlanta, fia. WESLEYAN FEMALE COLLEGE, Macon, fia. A Diploma From it is High Honor. Its Graduates are Everywhere. One of the few high grade Institutions of the South. A quarter of a million dollars invested in buildings. All modern conveniences. Ideal climate. Proverbially healthful. " All Literary Courses of a high order, and Conservatory advantages in Music, Art and ' - 1? C.OAJ-. AA r,o, Pwll Elocution. Literary Tuition and board, including launary, omj pvi Term begins September 18, IDOL For catalogue and full information, address J. W. ROBERTS, A. M., D. D., President. % NO MORE SPOILED FRUIT.^? . IV hy using my Standard Parent Self-Melting, Self- \f f S Jy? A Sealing Wax Strlmrs. Very conrenlent and eoon- //rf/fyT //f/f omlcal. Inquire of y<?ir dealer or send me his name | / * ' is is is m and 45 cents In stamps for l0Ostrin? by mail.Mention | this paper. C.C. rOl'Ts, MMdletown, Ohio. Is the oldest and only business college in Va. nra Lng its building?a grind new one. No vacations. Mention ihic Ponor In writing to advertisers Ladies & gentlemen. Bookkeeping,Shorthand, WeDllOU inib raper ANU-Thirty-1901. Typewriting, Penmanship, Telegraphy. &c ' Leading business college south of the Potomac hlfltaiw?^ rirer."?Phila. Stenographer. Address, G. M. Smithdeal. President. Richmond. Va. I h id/ f jA 2 OP ALL! - I 2 Jhj % I (\-J$FP J i Thg Nets Contain ?" I ---r-r-? ??_ ?| ? I $15 to $3O?T0 AGENTS #| ??. the n?i5 fined, I PER WEEK ( SELLING sdo7',b , 5?M j CRAM'S POPULAR ATLAS ! ropes they strain. OF U. S. AND WORLD, is yet uncounted, and* I New maps?New Census; New Statistics? U I Most popular and valuable work. ever offered. . 7 ' < (Julrkest seller Issued In 10 years. Exclusive : reigns on every hand? territory. Low orlce. Liberal terms 11 the capture mean? I HUDGINS PUBLISHING CO., Atlanta. Ga. ith contents yet concealed? I V ^ I | TT new Premium List, Bj I I M V that are unrevealed, 9 f P 1 I || uA ^poon | xli baking powder t first will bare. I jg THE BEST. TRY IT. fl J.D. dk B.& CHRISTIAN CO. RICHMOND. YA. r^peS.'0*0 I HEDICAL DEPARTMENT | you ht should bestow | Tolaoe University of Lonisiana. OFFEE's newest List. _ ~ ~ ~ _ ? ? ... Founded in 1834, and now ha* 3,841 Graduate*. them, write to us. Iu for inrtractionf ^ mpto . % ^ it Stamp inclose; laboratory and abundant hospital materia Is a re nne> :* w5thout further fus?? quailed. Free recess isRivpn to I he (treat Charity Hoalt without turtner iu?? pital with 9U0 beds and w,000 patient* annualljr. Special lN promptness shows. instruction is giyen dai y at the bedsida of tha sickThe next session begins October 31st, 1901. For cata* loaue and information address Prof. 8. E- CHAILLX. M. D-. Dean. P. O. Drawer 2(1, New Orleans. Lil __ ?????? nDODQY NEW DISCOVERY; firm UIV VI W I quick relief and cures worst rases. Book of tettimonials and 10 daya> treatment d you will understand WOOLSON SPICE CO.. TOLEDO. OHIO.