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|xh? well dressed gal of today la om ho has no toe? ,n h#r ??o tO| IT her hat, no back In her dress, m JocklnB" on her feet ^nd nothing li mind- \f/#& Some people Mi!*pt bu*y trytaj ,u make a living Xltbout working. A Nazi broadcaster vhAand over th< jr last Monday night s*td that Reloh arahal Ooerlng Is bearing hit shaft I the war load. Which makes youi kipper wonder If that load. Is ex lujlve of the medals. IW e e Tell me," said the possled Bridal jdler who had been watching a die* jne in North Carolina, "Who is thli *p, Little Joe from KokomoT' io?8," said the crap shooter, "Llttl< 018 the hardest man to get they is 1*8 harder to find than Mussolini.' this mystifying reply, we shouh e to add that Little Joe is a kins a of Big Dick, the one from Bhston it ho Is related to an elusive ga ned Phoebe, that he Is of the samt od a? Kighter from Decatur ant I he has some lowly connectioni ominously known as Snake Eyej ! Box Cars. But we doubt whethei British could ever know or evei erstand. alian soldiers, surrsndsrlng by th< iaands, are not cowards ws an , but merely anxious to visit thsli tivss In Brooklyn* * ? ? at received a card from a friend Is a defense worker. He writes: ring a wonderful time and a half.' Down Broad Street / Roses are red, Meat points are, too. You take the posies, l?H take beef stew. By Leon Schlosburg. Things Yob Never Hear Can't we just slay home and lister to the radio? Of course, I don't mind going or the street car. It's the sentiment, not the else ol the Btone. that counts with me* darling. Why don't you ask some other girl to dance while I tidy up a bit? Yes, let's park. You're still tops with me, even tho1 the army did turn you down. Itomebody should have posted a wming for Mussolini: "Beware of the Badogliol" Italy had a Caesarean section and wis delivered of' Mussolini. The threadbare slang simile, "Like Grant took Richmond/' may be re! placed In the next generation by, "Like the allies took Sicily." Herr Goebbels of the German propopanda machine says Hitler will unleash a secret and terrible weapon against his enemies about November, We wonder, Herr Goebbels, If It might be an armistice, how about it? "Cutting the speed limit to 35 doesn't make any of us sure," veilttred Don Morrison. "We're not out lo win a race?we're out to win a nr." Happened to drop In at the Package shop Monday and during a conversation with tho gang there, chanoto mention that Smith ia getting merrled next month and plana were kinfl made tto give his bride-elect a hower. carl took time out from reading the 8tato to say, "Count ma ,n- I'll bring a towel." w 0 a - A._ to class at a nearby army class worn, one ot the ingtructors Inquired ot one of the class members, "What *<*> <! you do if you saw" a battleship coming across the prairie?" The Prospective army inan replied: "Sir, r would torpedo it" "Ah ha!" ahout/ 1110 instructor, "but where would J? a tofredo?" Whereupon the nag guy replied: "The same plate >?u got a battleship." ? ?^ i. Well, here goes the poem for the jT ! in two verses each had but JJe second one wor??: h?d a little lamb 1 *- - A?i' r wa* *> ?* * heck jnd everywhere that Mary went P?or lamb algned the check. "BOBBY WAS GROUCHY CONSTIPATED, had no WKinr ??ys Mrs. Rovte, Cttef Now eats every- A tk thing, is regular 1 and happy MR all day long ygfr eat. everything and la happy all day K i^rSe?nam>d BBACAPS to ")? d*ALB PHARMACY J . y x / / : - raffia V: 1 1 k Y W^^tr JHKk |H V,.jt/ Sj rrwm me The baseball fans were diaappolnted when ' Monk". Montjoy,. well-known baseball arbiter from Columbia, was unable to-get out of an umpiring assignment In the Fort Jackson service league and work In Sunday's game between the Instructors and Army here. ? \ Jack Nettles did the work back of tho catcher aud was in good form. ^ calling them with precision and speed. > i The game last Friday night was a real dog fight between the Army and the Kelly Grease Boys. The latter j really put up a scrap broaklng even In the hit record but falling In the run register. i ? _ The evening fun wsa enlivened by I a genuine dog fight, two pootchea r staging a ding dong wuff wuff battle . In the spectators section. ?# e A sweet little girl with golden i ringlets clustered about her tiny face s became Intrigued with the tobacoo l can protruding from the 8ktpper'i ? baok pocket and prooeeded to do I ) nloe Job of plokpooket. But Mammi , her Just in time to salvage thi 8lr Walter Raleigh. | "e * A gentleman front Washlngtoi , whose name we did not catch did th< 1 calling of the balls and strikes it ? that Friday game. He was reportec 1 to have umpired in one of the Wash i lngton service leagues. He knew whai t It wassail about but we still think h? r missed the bus in the final minute oi I play' by becoming confused in the number of balls and strikes on Mr Horace Brown, I i What we cannot understand is why r year after year, this same situation develops. It is like hay fever, heal - rash or whatever else yon may eleci I to call It. And It seems to us that there should be some kind t>f a serum ? that could be administered to the team managers to guard against it A city and a chorus girl Are much alike, 'tis true; A city Is built with outskirts 1 And a chorus girl Is, too. 9 9 0 9 Heard in the park: He, "Would yoi scream If I kissed you?" 8he: "Hov could I if you did It properly?" 9 .0 9 m This is realjy interesting. We note in one of the current mags, that e L great New York detective agency thai specializes in tracing missing personi , has been employed by more than 70.000 wives to find their missing hna> bands, but only 15 husbands to find , their missing wives. ^ The cool wave that vlsltad Camder last week, Wednesday, gave ?ia sucti pep and ambition we sallied forth and i interviewed several prominent oltlzeni on this, that and nothing. ( For Instance, "happening to pass f Simon Blchel of the HJchel department store, we started a chat about things the war is doing to all of us. Simon opined that Buch is very true? 1 that when he was in New York recently and took In several efoows that the usual hawking of the vendor In i the theater shouting "Peanuts, chew ing gum, crackerjacks, salted peanuts and bonbbns," was a minus affair. 9 * 9 Passing the Belk Store .our .good friend, Manager Hagin, spied us and ' shouted, "Looks like they trumped Hitler's deuce (Duoe). Thoy haven't . seen anything yet. They batter brace themselves for a grand slam." * Thid is positively the worst Joke I have heard this year. And It comes from none other than Fred Moseley in the Western Auto Shop. Fred told me of a salesman who went into the telephone office and asked a young lady to get him Allls Chalmers in Milwaukee. The little lady, Bless her heart, asked him If he wished to talk to her personally. They carried the salesman out feet first. .If some of you folks who road theae fool things every week do hot get that Allia Chalmers Joke, drop In at the office and we will elucidate. 0 0 Tommy Bruce says that he can remember when gasoline was so unratloned that women could use a wipptrt ouk o* i ^ f5, ^ Frankis Slnkwlch, Georgia's AH* American football player haa been dlsohargsd from the United States Marines because of physical disability. Oh Yoll Such a sickness I should have. see* Which fact Is bound to make the teams which participated In the Florence tournament* won by Birmingham, a bit peeved. Undsr the rulee of the Legion baseball program* the games all stand and the Springfield, Ohio, team, beaten In the flnftl [ game at Charoltte, now goes to Miles 1 City. * | The Birmingham Alabama Junior Legion baseball team, after wading through the Florence tournament and then walloping Springfield, Ohio, In the finals at Charlotte Is not going to 1 meet In the title games at Mile* City, 1 Montano, because it was fouud that one of the Birmingham players was Ineligible. I m m m m , We do not know Just how the dis> oovery was made that Birmingham i waa playing a lad who was not ellglI ble. If Birmingham dieoovored It, It i waa a nice sporting gesture to pull ? out. If some other team manager mad# the discovery, It looks as If Birmingham was Just gambling on I getting by and there Isn't an lota of ) sportsmanship about the withdrawal i from tho tournament for national 1 honors. see t We had those nasty little messes > right here In our own area ever since t this writer has been pounding out ? sports in Camden. And you can't tell . this writer that someone didn't know all about 1L That Isn't saying the chaps at the head of the offending , club were to blame. Sometimes It i was one of the players. But whoever t It was, the darned matter has be: come so obnoxious to the real sporft Ing fans that It is Just about time t there Is a house cleaning or the proi gram of Legion baseball be aban. doned. whole pan full to clean their gloves and have enough left to'blow up the kitchen. s s Jack Nettles le a great collector of 1 the unusual. Jack has been listing a ' lot of "famous last words" and only recently began to list "famous first words." Talking to him last week ) he said that his oofteotlon so far Ini eluded the following: "I'm working t my way through college," "If I only i had known you before I wae married," i "Now, don't repeat this" and "Id any . one ever tell you that you looked I like? T" * * By the way, let me digress just a 1 second. Jack Is going to offer himi elf as a member of the City Council next spring. The present incumbent of the particular ward in which Jack lives is Clyburu Smith. We heard a little bird remark that in addition to Jack and Olyburn, there would be two Other chaps in the field for the aldermanic title. Oh, Well! The more the merrier. e e The oop on the corner etopped me to inquire If I noticed the wide dlffer? nee between the gale who had a epare girdle and onee who didnt? * * To which 1 replied that the pay-asyou-go tax plan leaves little cash to speud on war blonds. To the little girl with the blonde hair who has a dear one overaeaa and who has been greatly worried for weeks because that letter was long 1 overdue, we dedloate this little verse -?because we Just heard that the let* ' ter came: A letter came from overaeaa Today?the sun shines bright. That letter oame from overseas A lettar gay with plaaaantrlaa That sat her aohlng heart at eaao And flllad har with delight; That letter came from overseas v And she oan sleep tonight. see "Hey, Skip, com? over hear a minute. Got a question I want to ask," came from Lee Little's office in the Camden theater building. So wo sauntered over, stuck our head in the door and murmered "shoot!" ?" "Tell me, 8klp, what is' love ?" inquired the flicker magnate. "Love," salth I, "Love, well, love ia the stuff that makes a guy feel romantic even though his best gal ia saturated with oil of citronella." * e They made their Initial appearanoe before the mike last Tuesday night. We wonder If It was an audition of some kind.. Anyhow, no one even suspected they had the talent that was uncovered In thle Impromptu premier in a Camden night olub see Those who heard the dulcet tones pouring from the loud speaker declared they actually rivaled the Andrew sisters. We don't know just how exact this comparison woujd be from the vocalising angle but we are will ing to wager our summer straw?now slightly soiled and out of shape?that Tor look** the Cainden trio of song birds had the famous Andrew sisters bdaten ?6y several city blocks. e The funny part of It all is that ona of the song birds-?we did not know she even had a tinging voice?and we were in dally contact for nearly a year?really hae a "blues" voice. How mietaken one can be, alnt It eof see We suggest that when future social events are planned in Camden that a number or group of numbers be provided for with Mary, Bobby end Phyllis huddled around the mike. They really are good?and don't let anyone tell yon otherwise. I CAMDEN CHRONICLE ENLISTS IN U. 8. PULPWOOD CAMPAIGN (Continued from first ixyfo) duclng areas of the United Slates, will solve the problem of current and threatening pulp wood ahortagea and, by its brouder example, help to hasten the winning of the war. Personally, and as chalrmau of the War Production Hoard, 1 am happy to welcome the assistance of the newspapers In this important production campaign." The campaign to Increase the production of pulpwood for the manufacture of products vitally necessary for military needs overseas and for home front war uA>s, is addressed to farmers, woodlaud owners, forest laborers and other available workers In the three major pulpwood producing areas of the South, Northeast and l^ake States, where manpower shortages have developed because of the withdrawal . of woodsmen for service In the armed forces or other war work. The 'growing seriousness of pulpwood shortages prompted Mr. Nelson to issue the following appeal to farmers: "If every one of the more than 2,800,000 farmers In the 27 pulpwood producing states were to devote three extra days In 1943 to cutting pulpwood wq, could overcome the threatened V 600,000-cord shortage with wood to spare," Mr. Nelson declared. "I urge every American farmer to get In toudE with his nearest Department of Agriculture representative to find out whether he can be of service In the production of pulpwood. I, of course, realise the Increased war load which our farmers are bearing today, but the pulpwood situation Is serious enough to Justify this call for an extra effort," In antloiphtlon of the present critical shortage in pulpwood supplies, the War Production Board called upon the U. 8. Department of Agriculture for aslstance. The Forest Servloe. Regional Extension Directors, Extension Forests and County Agents were requested to assist in stimulating pulpwood cutting by advising farmers oh sound cutting practices,! mill prices and apeeifleattoas. This effort was supplemented by the publication of posters and pamphlets emphasising the Immediate need of pulpwood for war purposes. They urged farmers and woodland owners to harvest their pulpwood ''right now" when the country needs It most. The war Manpower Commission classified pulpwood production cutting and transport to the mills, the manufacture of pulpwood, paper and paperboard products for packing vital supplies as essential activities. Notice of this Ruling waa sent to Seleotlve Service Boards and U. S. Employment Service Offices, to establish the eligibility of these essential workers for draft deferment. r 1 1 There are surprises and surprises? but the one on the "little* mouse" the other night at the 8arefleld wae a honey.. One of those birthday affairs and w?? she surprised. Anyhow, congrata and many of them. The critical nature, of pulpwood shortages was Indicated during May In War Production Board reports which showed receipts at all mills for first five months of the year worev$3 per cent below receipts for the corresponding period in 11*42. This report was followed by a statement that Government requirements for military and civilian uses in 11*43 would be 13,000,000 cords. Less than 6,000,000 cords had been produced at tlta end of May. Therefore, more than 8,000,000 cords must bo produced in the remuiulng seven months of 1943. The Government - Industry - Press Campaign to increase pulpwood production in this locality officially opens today. Colored Group. Join the Colors Colored men accepted for aervloe during the month of August as announced by local draft board No. 47 are as follows: For the U. 8. Army, Clarence Thompson, Paul Benjamin Green, John Furman, Howard GsJs, Claude McCarley, L. J. Harris, Kobert Shields, Phillip McCarley, T. J. Williams, and for the Navy, ltayford Lee Harris. The following are reported by looal board No. 46 for the U. S. Army: Leroy Burrel Cooke, Jacob Thompson, James 8imon Green, Harrison Clyburn, Herman Pierce, and Upward Cantoy and John Brevard, Jr? to the Navy. KERSHAW LODGE NO. tS, A. F. M. , ( Regular Communication, An First Tuesday of Basil Month. At P. M. Visitors J. EL ROSS, Secretary. J. O. HOFFMAN. W. M. r\\\T STARS VOTE THIS kcOIA BEST ? ... royal ^^ 0jtauna c0^ :V~ ^K' L-" -. . ' ? ? / J2' ' V t ^ irfr\ 'z&T; '* Announcement! s C. O. STOGNER Can Save You Money On Insurance Agent For Stale Farm Insurance Co. Globe and Rutgers Fire Insurance Co. I am notr la position to serre all your Insurance Requirements, Including Life, Accident, Fire, Casualty and Property Damage. If It's Insuranoe?8eegMe. We Qlve 80 per cent Cover^e On . ; Collision Insurance. Tel. 670?Address: 128 DeKalb 8t. * KSS PULPWOOD COMMITTEE 3'T" A . v ? THIS Committee If Storting g? drive to cut mors pulpwood trosi* The shortage is sorious.. h and pulpwood is urgently needed for everything from blood plasma containers to parachutes * from shell cases to airplane parts ... from gas mask niters to explosives* 'Yt ' r. \ Y'Y 'yY " : Our Government ( diking *v*ry " abl*-bodi*d woodcutter and Asmsssou Aae aalAjlesA ovlsus tiieser rarvntr to , pwagv # f*n u worn delys this year (at regular pay) to cut pulpwood e * 2,500,000 extra cords' are needed quickly* f V This it a challenge to tvtryOM ?f ut in this community. Wo must not jot , & i our boys down. 3 EXTRA* days' work are liftlo to ask whon our boys are out thore giving thoir livos for thoir country. A Enlist today In this drtvo* Woar tho button that shows you are In this1 ???>' * v'. '&?'. i .vj. light. This is one way this community can help win this war. vomf to ixntiiiiiiim ntoaquonvrr / . t or got in touch with any of thoso men., And do it quickly. / . ' i o - \ .4 This pwlpwood shortogo It a .. national war omqrgoncy. ' 4 ' % > ' ' - ' f UUEEE3S3/ \*_ -?/ - *-> r%apjy^pp|j|ppp||| L. E. SMITH, Chairman I : r. r ?.-. ^ fttrr.^-n'r* ".: " - r ~<jm P. J. CREED?L. W. BOY KIN, 2nd?W. C. McCARLEY L I D*COSTA BROWN?EARNEST NUTTINQ t I