The Camden chronicle. (Camden, S.C.) 1888-1981, August 27, 1943, Page PAGE SEVEN, Image 7
|xh? well dressed gal of today la om
ho has no toe? ,n h#r ??o tO|
IT her hat, no back In her dress, m
JocklnB" on her feet ^nd nothing li
mind- \f/#&
Some people Mi!*pt bu*y trytaj
,u make a living Xltbout working.
A Nazi broadcaster vhAand over th<
jr last Monday night s*td that Reloh
arahal Ooerlng Is bearing hit shaft
I the war load. Which makes youi
kipper wonder If that load. Is ex
lujlve of the medals.
IW e e
Tell me," said the possled Bridal
jdler who had been watching a die*
jne in North Carolina, "Who is thli
*p, Little Joe from KokomoT'
io?8," said the crap shooter, "Llttl<
018 the hardest man to get they is
1*8 harder to find than Mussolini.'
this mystifying reply, we shouh
e to add that Little Joe is a kins
a of Big Dick, the one from Bhston
it ho Is related to an elusive ga
ned Phoebe, that he Is of the samt
od a? Kighter from Decatur ant
I he has some lowly connectioni
ominously known as Snake Eyej
! Box Cars. But we doubt whethei
British could ever know or evei
erstand.
alian soldiers, surrsndsrlng by th<
iaands, are not cowards ws an
, but merely anxious to visit thsli
tivss In Brooklyn*
* ? ?
at received a card from a friend
Is a defense worker. He writes:
ring a wonderful time and a half.'
Down Broad Street
/
Roses are red,
Meat points are, too.
You take the posies,
l?H take beef stew.
By Leon Schlosburg.
Things Yob Never Hear
Can't we just slay home and lister
to the radio?
Of course, I don't mind going or
the street car.
It's the sentiment, not the else ol
the Btone. that counts with me* darling.
Why don't you ask some other girl
to dance while I tidy up a bit?
Yes, let's park.
You're still tops with me, even tho1
the army did turn you down.
Itomebody
should have posted a
wming for Mussolini: "Beware of
the Badogliol"
Italy had a Caesarean section and
wis delivered of' Mussolini.
The threadbare slang simile, "Like
Grant took Richmond/' may be re!
placed In the next generation by,
"Like the allies took Sicily."
Herr
Goebbels of the German propopanda
machine says Hitler will unleash
a secret and terrible weapon
against his enemies about November,
We wonder, Herr Goebbels, If It might
be an armistice, how about it?
"Cutting the speed limit to 35
doesn't make any of us sure," veilttred
Don Morrison. "We're not out
lo win a race?we're out to win a
nr."
Happened to drop In at the Package
shop Monday and during a conversation
with tho gang there, chanoto
mention that Smith ia getting
merrled next month and plana were
kinfl made tto give his bride-elect a
hower. carl took time out from
reading the 8tato to say, "Count ma
,n- I'll bring a towel."
w 0 a - A._
to class at a nearby army class
worn, one ot the ingtructors Inquired
ot one of the class members, "What
*<*> <! you do if you saw" a battleship
coming across the prairie?" The
Prospective army inan replied: "Sir,
r would torpedo it" "Ah ha!" ahout/
1110 instructor, "but where would
J? a tofredo?" Whereupon the
nag guy replied: "The same plate
>?u got a battleship." ? ?^
i.
Well, here goes the poem for the
jT ! in two verses each had but
JJe second one wor??:
h?d a little lamb 1 *- -
A?i' r wa* *> ?* * heck
jnd everywhere that Mary went
P?or lamb algned the check.
"BOBBY WAS GROUCHY
CONSTIPATED, had no WKinr
??ys Mrs. Rovte, Cttef
Now eats every- A tk
thing, is regular 1
and happy MR
all day long ygfr
eat. everything and la happy all day
K i^rSe?nam>d BBACAPS to ")?
d*ALB PHARMACY J
. y x / /
: - raffia V:
1 1 k
Y W^^tr JHKk |H
V,.jt/ Sj rrwm me
The baseball fans were diaappolnted
when ' Monk". Montjoy,. well-known
baseball arbiter from Columbia, was
unable to-get out of an umpiring assignment
In the Fort Jackson service
league and work In Sunday's game
between the Instructors and Army
here.
?
\ Jack Nettles did the work back of
tho catcher aud was in good form.
^ calling them with precision and speed.
>
i The game last Friday night was a
real dog fight between the Army and
the Kelly Grease Boys. The latter
j really put up a scrap broaklng even
In the hit record but falling In the
run register.
i
? _ The evening fun wsa enlivened by
I a genuine dog fight, two pootchea
r staging a ding dong wuff wuff battle
. In the spectators section.
?# e
A sweet little girl with golden
i ringlets clustered about her tiny face
s became Intrigued with the tobacoo
l can protruding from the 8ktpper'i
? baok pocket and prooeeded to do I
) nloe Job of plokpooket. But Mammi
, her Just in time to salvage thi
8lr Walter Raleigh.
| "e *
A gentleman front Washlngtoi
, whose name we did not catch did th<
1 calling of the balls and strikes it
? that Friday game. He was reportec
1 to have umpired in one of the Wash
i lngton service leagues. He knew whai
t It wassail about but we still think h?
r missed the bus in the final minute oi
I play' by becoming confused in the
number of balls and strikes on Mr
Horace Brown,
I
i What we cannot understand is why
r year after year, this same situation
develops. It is like hay fever, heal
- rash or whatever else yon may eleci
I to call It. And It seems to us that
there should be some kind t>f a serum
? that could be administered to the
team managers to guard against it
A city and a chorus girl
Are much alike, 'tis true;
A city Is built with outskirts
1 And a chorus girl Is, too.
9 9 0 9
Heard in the park: He, "Would yoi
scream If I kissed you?" 8he: "Hov
could I if you did It properly?"
9 .0 9 m
This is realjy interesting. We note
in one of the current mags, that e
L great New York detective agency thai
specializes in tracing missing personi
, has been employed by more than
70.000 wives to find their missing hna>
bands, but only 15 husbands to find
, their missing wives.
^ The cool wave that vlsltad Camder
last week, Wednesday, gave ?ia sucti
pep and ambition we sallied forth and
i interviewed several prominent oltlzeni
on this, that and nothing.
( For Instance, "happening to pass
f Simon Blchel of the HJchel department
store, we started a chat about
things the war is doing to all of us.
Simon opined that Buch is very true?
1 that when he was in New York recently
and took In several efoows that
the usual hawking of the vendor In
i the theater shouting "Peanuts, chew
ing gum, crackerjacks, salted peanuts
and bonbbns," was a minus affair.
9 * 9 Passing
the Belk Store .our .good
friend, Manager Hagin, spied us and
' shouted, "Looks like they trumped
Hitler's deuce (Duoe). Thoy haven't
. seen anything yet. They batter brace
themselves for a grand slam."
*
Thid is positively the worst Joke I
have heard this year. And It comes
from none other than Fred Moseley
in the Western Auto Shop. Fred told
me of a salesman who went into the
telephone office and asked a young
lady to get him Allls Chalmers in
Milwaukee. The little lady, Bless her
heart, asked him If he wished to talk
to her personally. They carried the
salesman out feet first.
.If some of you folks who road theae
fool things every week do hot get that
Allia Chalmers Joke, drop In at the
office and we will elucidate.
0 0
Tommy Bruce says that he can remember
when gasoline was so unratloned
that women could use a
wipptrt ouk o* i ^
f5, ^
Frankis Slnkwlch, Georgia's AH*
American football player haa been
dlsohargsd from the United States
Marines because of physical disability.
Oh Yoll Such a sickness I should
have.
see*
Which fact Is bound to make the
teams which participated In the
Florence tournament* won by Birmingham,
a bit peeved. Undsr the
rulee of the Legion baseball program*
the games all stand and the Springfield,
Ohio, team, beaten In the flnftl
[ game at Charoltte, now goes to Miles
1 City. *
| The Birmingham Alabama Junior
Legion baseball team, after wading
through the Florence tournament and
then walloping Springfield, Ohio, In
the finals at Charlotte Is not going to
1 meet In the title games at Mile* City,
1 Montano, because it was fouud that
one of the Birmingham players was
Ineligible.
I m m m m
, We do not know Just how the dis>
oovery was made that Birmingham
i waa playing a lad who was not ellglI
ble. If Birmingham dieoovored It, It
i waa a nice sporting gesture to pull
? out. If some other team manager
mad# the discovery, It looks as If
Birmingham was Just gambling on
I getting by and there Isn't an lota of
) sportsmanship about the withdrawal
i from tho tournament for national
1 honors.
see
t We had those nasty little messes
> right here In our own area ever since
t this writer has been pounding out
? sports in Camden. And you can't tell
. this writer that someone didn't know
all about 1L That Isn't saying the
chaps at the head of the offending
, club were to blame. Sometimes It
i was one of the players. But whoever
t It was, the darned matter has be:
come so obnoxious to the real sporft
Ing fans that It is Just about time
t there Is a house cleaning or the proi
gram of Legion baseball be aban.
doned.
whole pan full to clean their gloves
and have enough left to'blow up the
kitchen.
s s
Jack Nettles le a great collector of
1 the unusual. Jack has been listing a
' lot of "famous last words" and only
recently began to list "famous first
words." Talking to him last week
) he said that his oofteotlon so far Ini
eluded the following: "I'm working
t my way through college," "If I only
i had known you before I wae married,"
i "Now, don't repeat this" and "Id any
. one ever tell you that you looked
I like? T"
* *
By the way, let me digress just a
1 second. Jack Is going to offer himi
elf as a member of the City Council
next spring. The present incumbent
of the particular ward in which Jack
lives is Clyburu Smith. We heard a
little bird remark that in addition to
Jack and Olyburn, there would be two
Other chaps in the field for the aldermanic
title. Oh, Well! The more the
merrier.
e e
The oop on the corner etopped me
to inquire If I noticed the wide dlffer?
nee between the gale who had a
epare girdle and onee who didnt?
* *
To which 1 replied that the pay-asyou-go
tax plan leaves little cash to
speud on war blonds.
To the little girl with the blonde
hair who has a dear one overaeaa and
who has been greatly worried for
weeks because that letter was long 1
overdue, we dedloate this little verse
-?because we Just heard that the let* '
ter came:
A letter came from overaeaa
Today?the sun shines bright.
That letter oame from overseas
A lettar gay with plaaaantrlaa
That sat her aohlng heart at eaao
And flllad har with delight;
That letter came from overseas v
And she oan sleep tonight.
see
"Hey, Skip, com? over hear a minute.
Got a question I want to ask,"
came from Lee Little's office in the
Camden theater building. So wo sauntered
over, stuck our head in the door
and murmered "shoot!" ?"
"Tell me, 8klp, what is' love ?" inquired
the flicker magnate.
"Love," salth I, "Love, well, love ia
the stuff that makes a guy feel romantic
even though his best gal ia
saturated with oil of citronella."
* e
They made their Initial appearanoe
before the mike last Tuesday night.
We wonder If It was an audition of
some kind.. Anyhow, no one even suspected
they had the talent that was
uncovered In thle Impromptu premier
in a Camden night olub
see
Those who heard the dulcet tones
pouring from the loud speaker declared
they actually rivaled the Andrew
sisters. We don't know just how exact
this comparison woujd be from
the vocalising angle but we are will ing
to wager our summer straw?now
slightly soiled and out of shape?that
Tor look** the Cainden trio of song
birds had the famous Andrew sisters
bdaten ?6y several city blocks.
e
The funny part of It all is that ona
of the song birds-?we did not know
she even had a tinging voice?and
we were in dally contact for nearly
a year?really hae a "blues" voice.
How mietaken one can be, alnt It eof
see
We suggest that when future social
events are planned in Camden that a
number or group of numbers be provided
for with Mary, Bobby end
Phyllis huddled around the mike.
They really are good?and don't let
anyone tell yon otherwise.
I
CAMDEN CHRONICLE ENLISTS
IN U. 8. PULPWOOD CAMPAIGN
(Continued from first ixyfo)
duclng areas of the United Slates,
will solve the problem of current and
threatening pulp wood ahortagea and,
by its brouder example, help to hasten
the winning of the war. Personally,
and as chalrmau of the War Production
Hoard, 1 am happy to welcome
the assistance of the newspapers In
this important production campaign."
The campaign to Increase the production
of pulpwood for the manufacture
of products vitally necessary for
military needs overseas and for home
front war uA>s, is addressed to farmers,
woodlaud owners, forest laborers
and other available workers In the
three major pulpwood producing areas
of the South, Northeast and l^ake
States, where manpower shortages
have developed because of the withdrawal
. of woodsmen for service In
the armed forces or other war work.
The 'growing seriousness of pulpwood
shortages prompted Mr. Nelson
to issue the following appeal to farmers:
"If every one of the more than
2,800,000 farmers In the 27 pulpwood
producing states were to devote three
extra days In 1943 to cutting pulpwood
wq, could overcome the threatened V
600,000-cord shortage with wood to
spare," Mr. Nelson declared. "I urge
every American farmer to get In
toudE with his nearest Department of
Agriculture representative to find out
whether he can be of service In the
production of pulpwood. I, of course,
realise the Increased war load which
our farmers are bearing today, but
the pulpwood situation Is serious
enough to Justify this call for an extra
effort,"
In antloiphtlon of the present
critical shortage in pulpwood supplies,
the War Production Board called
upon the U. 8. Department of
Agriculture for aslstance. The Forest
Servloe. Regional Extension Directors,
Extension Forests and County Agents
were requested to assist in stimulating
pulpwood cutting by advising
farmers oh sound cutting practices,!
mill prices and apeeifleattoas.
This effort was supplemented by
the publication of posters and pamphlets
emphasising the Immediate need
of pulpwood for war purposes. They
urged farmers and woodland owners
to harvest their pulpwood ''right now"
when the country needs It most.
The war Manpower Commission
classified pulpwood production cutting
and transport to the mills, the
manufacture of pulpwood, paper and
paperboard products for packing vital
supplies as essential activities. Notice
of this Ruling waa sent to Seleotlve
Service Boards and U. S. Employment
Service Offices, to establish
the eligibility of these essential
workers for draft deferment.
r 1 1
There are surprises and surprises?
but the one on the "little* mouse" the
other night at the 8arefleld wae a
honey.. One of those birthday affairs
and w?? she surprised. Anyhow,
congrata and many of them.
The critical nature, of pulpwood
shortages was Indicated during May
In War Production Board reports
which showed receipts at all mills for
first five months of the year worev$3
per cent below receipts for the corresponding
period in 11*42. This report
was followed by a statement that
Government requirements for military
and civilian uses in 11*43 would be
13,000,000 cords. Less than 6,000,000
cords had been produced at tlta end
of May. Therefore, more than 8,000,000
cords must bo produced in the remuiulng
seven months of 1943.
The Government - Industry - Press
Campaign to increase pulpwood production
in this locality officially opens
today.
Colored Group.
Join the Colors
Colored men accepted for aervloe
during the month of August as announced
by local draft board No. 47
are as follows: For the U. 8. Army,
Clarence Thompson, Paul Benjamin
Green, John Furman, Howard GsJs,
Claude McCarley, L. J. Harris, Kobert
Shields, Phillip McCarley, T. J. Williams,
and for the Navy, ltayford Lee
Harris.
The following are reported by looal
board No. 46 for the U. S. Army: Leroy
Burrel Cooke, Jacob Thompson,
James 8imon Green, Harrison Clyburn,
Herman Pierce, and Upward
Cantoy and John Brevard, Jr? to the
Navy.
KERSHAW LODGE NO. tS, A. F. M.
, ( Regular Communication,
An First Tuesday of Basil
Month. At P. M. Visitors
J. EL ROSS, Secretary.
J. O. HOFFMAN. W. M.
r\\\T
STARS VOTE THIS
kcOIA BEST
? ...
royal ^^ 0jtauna c0^
:V~ ^K' L-" -. . ' ? ? / J2' ' V t ^ irfr\ 'z&T; '*
Announcement!
s
C. O. STOGNER
Can Save You Money On
Insurance
Agent For
Stale Farm Insurance Co.
Globe and Rutgers
Fire Insurance Co.
I am notr la position to serre all
your Insurance Requirements, Including
Life, Accident, Fire, Casualty
and Property Damage.
If It's Insuranoe?8eegMe.
We Qlve 80 per cent Cover^e On . ;
Collision Insurance.
Tel. 670?Address: 128 DeKalb 8t.
* KSS PULPWOOD COMMITTEE
3'T"
A . v ?
THIS Committee If Storting g?
drive to cut mors pulpwood
trosi* The shortage is sorious.. h and
pulpwood is urgently needed for
everything from blood plasma containers
to parachutes * from shell
cases to airplane parts ... from gas
mask niters to explosives*
'Yt ' r. \ Y'Y 'yY " :
Our Government ( diking *v*ry
" abl*-bodi*d woodcutter and
Asmsssou Aae aalAjlesA ovlsus tiieser
rarvntr to , pwagv # f*n u worn
delys this year (at regular pay)
to cut pulpwood e * 2,500,000
extra cords' are needed quickly*
f V
This it a challenge to tvtryOM ?f
ut in this community. Wo must not jot ,
& i
our boys down. 3 EXTRA* days' work
are liftlo to ask whon our boys are
out thore giving thoir livos for thoir
country. A
Enlist today In this drtvo* Woar tho
button that shows you are In this1 ???>'
* v'. '&?'. i .vj.
light. This is one way this community
can help win this war.
vomf to ixntiiiiiiim ntoaquonvrr
/ . t
or got in touch with any of thoso men.,
And do it quickly. / . ' i
o - \ .4
This pwlpwood shortogo It a ..
national war omqrgoncy.
' 4 ' % > ' ' - ' f
UUEEE3S3/
\*_ -?/
- *-> r%apjy^pp|j|ppp|||
L. E. SMITH, Chairman I
: r. r ?.-. ^ fttrr.^-n'r* ".: " - r ~<jm
P. J. CREED?L. W. BOY KIN, 2nd?W. C. McCARLEY
L I
D*COSTA BROWN?EARNEST NUTTINQ t I