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body's Business I ? /^ The Chronicle by Gee Pjtfj*, Copyright, 1938. illrfjce of Incorporation (1 books of subscription will be |it the office of the, undersigned 0riAb?r 16th, 1929, for the purif mbscribing stock to combe known m The Moon, lne? corporation to be govdtned by ? of South Carolina, and unp following agreement and repns, to-wit: Cr? will be iesyed 6,482,789,jjires of common stock with no ptoe *? ><* a like number aheree referred stock, the par value of ji to be determined later. I ?har?s will have equal rights f nun in the moon.) l<; V" purpose of the company f to manufacture and sell moon(not the distilled kind, aB that be an infringements on rights p conceded and assigned) beams and light rays. (The I values of thid* company are op of the moon's orbit, both it is full, new or quartered, and jet on the tides.) gp main offices of The Moon, fill be on the earth/ and it s the purpose of the Board of. ps to try to merge this conji goon as it gets a-going with BO Co., and the Milky Way, Ibis will be done with a view Ing competition, as the cotm>ajamed are now producing*'an iiiniiliir to that which shall, bb lot by the corporation^herelh ted to. .the foremost thought in thq \ of the incorporators is to get lock of the Moon, Inc., listed on few York Stock' Exchange so it may be distributed throughie United States to* investor, btors, suckers, and other peorho have more money than y The value -of the sioCk' Of loon, Inc., will change from day if in sympathy '"with the disrate, wheat, congress, the FedJeserve, and any other intersi an unnatural influence. JThe price of the stock shall be 4ave you at present, but' the [exchange will begin publishing f prices and fluctuations as soon * rights to sell it thru that meare granted. Stock dividends !equently if not of toner, ice sheets or financial 11 be submitted to specks, orphans or anybody to purchase in The >U will have to do just oing with other stocks being bought and sold York Stock Exchange, ring in your subscripGee McGee Clark, Incorporators i to Worry About cotton and wheat have the farm .relief- board loan the farmers some he market immediately a few points, and doesain for a day or two. fcercises almost as much chairman of a highway Dresses are shorter in iger behind than they ie last year. The tail does not; disappear unjs are assured. IS j ie that Tom Heflin ahd t were seen in the UnWashington during the But DePriest is helping nighty good democrats back-sliders 1n Virginia, hear the one about thi nd her fourth husband alls ? Neither have I. ? ... V ng to say against chaiii ore it not for the old this would be a miserleed. Somebody has to on a credit so'a the ie folks will have some > buy gasoline and oil ade journals now say, the public won't bust haut within 30 days o1 >ens up: it takes about biles have* done wondert itals and surgeons. H that over 30 i>er cent * in qur "human repaii are t here because some o somebody alte, j or i climb a telegraph poh safety down a 20-foo* and then,?there's sev Is who were not eatia miles per hour while ei place where they Coul< h theirv sitting down. me frecltieS are corainj ' *?in* to be a jolt t m maaOfactur^ A* it wbuldn% surprise me if artificial moles and warts don't reappear bofore the season is over for spots. Earbobs are already reaching down so far they are tickling the shoulder blades, and what's mora--1 .saw a wo* man the other day wearing one of ^hose little smelling bags that were so popular back yonder when they had corsets to lodgy in. And, believe it or not, garters have returnad in some sections. It ain't nice now to call lunch dinner or dinner supper, and if you don't know all about tee-ing off and niblicks and 18 holes, it is simply Impossible to borrow any money at a bank, and if you complain about paying 82.20 for a ticket to a football game, you are a cheap skate, and if your wife can't win at bridge, her standing in the church is practically nil. But I ain't woitylng. I still w$sr lotigJ underwear/from October ttyru April. The Justice Beeker There used to be a men in our community who wu forever end ever taking some body to lew. He would ?u? you if you looked et him end if you didn't look et him, he'd eue you twice. "My lawyer" wee his favorite hymn end he eung it both dey end night He wee primed et ell times to meet you et the courthouse. v.... '???' W . ''Lawsuit Jeke" didn't eue every time he felt sue-ey. He .would swear end be-doggoned that ho was going %0'pop the lew to a neighbor, hut before he got his mind fully adjusted to the pleasant undertaking, he was a-flxlng to sue somebody else. (He wee a Methodist in 1890, a Baptist in 1906 and died a staunch Presbyterian) 'He sued old men Holer Bostic because he promised to let him thresh his wheat once; he forgot it end permitted Bill Jenkins to thresh his crop of 8 bushels. A Ford run over a rooster of his one Sabbath afternoon, and by Monday morning he had the Ford attached, the driver in jail, his | wife in the lock-up and his children in the poor-house. . . / * 'im. Out of the first 324 lawsuits he "staged" he won 2 of them, the judge threw 144 out of court, and the remainder of them simply rotted in the Clerk of Court's pigeon holes. He sold a man a fox hound one time and the fox hunter agreed to name the dog "Fido," but he named it "Firpo" instead, and before he had time to think, "Lawsuit Jake" had papers served on him for malfeasance in office ami obtaining money under false pretenses. ew mwj a . wwwHimi?m-~u.. ^. ijji. , The worst Aght "Lawsuit Juke" ever undertook was the time he sued the county in which he lived for cutting a little persimmon sprout on his daddy's farm In court he valued the sprout at $600 and a trespassing charge for $600 additional, mental anguish was brought in with its de- < mend tot $1,000 and then ha asked for court costs, attorney's fees, sheriff's expenses and $26 for telling witnesses what to swear. If he ever worlted for a fellow or Arm, that meant h lawsuit at quitting time. He knew more law than Blackstone. He was noted for talking all the time and saying nothing at all. He meddled with everything and everybody. He knew what a truth was from hear-say only. Thus tempus fugited, and at the time of his death he had plans laid out for 126 different lawsuits, and if it ain't too hot ' ; , is .. ' ' ' ? where he went, he's still busy sueing some of his associates down there for incognito end sic semper . tyrsnnis. The only thing a fellow like that is for is to furnish the means of decorating a graveyard by permitting a slab of marble to rest over his head of bone His epitaph reads "Here Lies." The Peoples First National Bank of Charleston, headed by R> Coodwyn Khett, Jr., Inst week completed a deal by which the Peoples National takes over the National Bank of Sumter, with its capital stock of $200,000 and surplus of $60,000. W. A. Stuckey, 60, well known farmer of the Bishopvillo section, died Monday lust, and was buried ^Tuesday. He was not only well known as a farmer, but also as an educator, and interested in legislative and political utfairs of the state. | SANTA CLAUS ARRIVES IN I | COLUMBIA SATURDAY I j At Six o'clock in a Special Airplane! j 11 A Blaze of Thousands of Brilliant Lights! j | and a Throng of People to Greet Him! 1 I - 2m j | EVERYBODY IS INVITED J j A SPECIAL PROGRAM FOR CHILDREN j | Beautiful Christmas Pageant on the State House. Steps 1 S Bands wll be playing, colors will be flying, children will be singing?all these things will happen Satr = urday at six o'clock when a special escort committee brings Santa Claus yi a trimuphant parade to the State House steps* .Santa will be met at the new Columbia Airport by the Escort Committee. From the ? 52 ~~ moment he steps out of his special airplane he will belong to the children of Columbia and of South Car- gjj j 55 As Santa arrives it the State House in Coluinbia he will be greeted by city and state officials; but even more important than the official greeting will be the reception he will receive from the children, A se: 25 lected group of 150 children will perform for the Old Saint Nick a beautiful winter pageant. These chil- j dren will be in costume and will sing for him. ' ^ IS 1 38 _ The tableaux and Christmas singing, the chUdren with thsir various colored costumes, all these and - many other features will welcome Santa Claus to Columbia, and in response old Santa will flood Columbia S =2 with the most beautiful-lighting arrangement ever seen in this section. Tens qif thousands of colored j lights, and hundreds of decorated and illuminated stars, as well as hundreds of decorated and illuminated KM Christmas trees Will be the central decorated attrations. . g S Every detail of arrangement is now perfected to make the Welcome to Santa Claus the greatest he Sju |B has ever received. And the more thousands of children there are to meet him and greet him, the better 5 X 55 Santa Claus will like it, because it is for the children that he is coming to Columbia. B"7' j COME TO COLUMBIA! | 1 " ? SEE COLUMBIA ?~ 1 | The South's Most Beautifully Decorated City! J 1 MEET SANTA CLAUS IN COLUMBIA! | I State Capitol Steps : Six o'clock : Saturday, November 30th 1 ; s ^JkLm?'__ ? "I ^