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ARIZONA KICKLETS Editor Announces a Thrilling Christmas Number. REFORMED ROAD AGENT. Lively and Varied New* In tba Region C0V?r?d by th? Klokor ? "AlUfl*'' ? Word Unknown. In lt? Column? Ao-< cording to Militant Editor. ? ' T ' By M QUAD. f < l/ l.l, I'll", A' (I I .lti-Ml.rv J'rt-N*. | W10 \vlMh to H UIIOUUCO ill Oils " ??#irly dato that wo arc piv paring m>uietliliig u*a?d for our Isadora on next Clll'lul j infiH. No nc-WHpaper piiIjIIhIkmI wlllilu j :MM) miles Of tbla town Iiuh ever lit j tempted tin* feat of gutting out a ape i Hal cJirlatmaa taaue. The K(cjier pro j to produce aomething worthy, of Ita large J?nd reapoel ablo cller'itagUt It will be 11 Mixtion page paper, profitably llluntrated. and among the good thing* It. will contain wo may tommi-nite: A aketch giving partb ulflra of the laat twelve murders In Arizona. Wry Moodod article. An urtlclo dearrlhlng lio.w Indians aralp their vjetfrnw. It will mako your hnlr atand on end to road ft. A two column akeb'h entitled "Men I H?ru Hhot." <JtveH iiaineu of a ncoro ?KMl)lNF, HO Al> AOKNT NVIIO IfiXI'I'.UIENOKD UKIiKlIoN. of men and relates full particulars of the death of each. The reader will In stinctively reach around for his nun as ho peruses this truthful sketch. A Very racy and entertaining sketch, entitled "Fourteen Cases of I.yneh Lnw." This is by :* ina n wink always furnished the barrels for tho victim t<? stand on. and he knows whereof he writes. You cup feel the barrel wobble as you read. Another special feature will he an II ? lust rated sketch entitled "The St aires I Ilnye jleld up." This is by a genuine road agent, who experienced religion, quit, the business and Is now, sticking type in this office. We hadn't the ar ticle half through when we handed the HUthor our watch and wallet and .held up our hands. No More Shooting. Carpenters have been busy for the last two.' days plugging up the bullet holes in the front door <>f the city hall, and it will take at least another day to ilntsh their labors. The number c units up jiboiit 7<xi This mean* that some seventy live or a hundreil men have, .stood on the ) ti 1 1 >1 ic- square and hanged awa.v and uttered war wh<?ops and felt that the\ were doing a big i hlng ?Tin* late ordinance intiicts :i heavy penalty for any such tomfoolery in fu ture. and we propose to sec it rigidly enforced. It. has also been a favorite pastime to shoot at I ho panes of glass In the mayor's office on the second Hoor, and if the mayor (who Is ourselfi .was In the fun was all tho greater. We want everybody In town to be happy," and we don't want to crowd the boys too close, but tho next critter who tires at a window when we are inside must take his chances. We shall raise the sash and return the fire, and if he suddenly feels as if a redhot iron had been jabbed into him he will find a doctor right ajround the corner to explain the symptoms and probe for the bullet. Tho Best W? Can Do. Wednesday noon of last week a band ? mt nbont forty tnrttgnantcitizenH, head-' od by Major Wharton of the Cactus ranch, surrounded the Kicker office and fired about '20tf bullets into the home of the greatest family paper on earth. The object was to rebuke us for posting weather bulletins which did not pan out as represented, and wo wero duly rebuked. When we started our weather bureau wo explicitly announced that ail tho tools we had to work with were a map of the world, a two foot rule and a red lead pencil. In sixty days we havo hit the weather forty-eight times, which we submit Is doing decontly well. In a few Instances wo havo pre dicted rain, which obstinately refused to show up. and two or three times we have overlooked high winds and frosty nights. We havo dono our best, how ever. and if our people are not satisfied they ijtust turn in some other diroctlon . , ' Ilnd Major Wharton come to us per sonally and alone and like a gentle mnn, we vronld hnve tried to give him the sort of weather he wants to grow rabbits and tarantulas, but under the circumstance* we'll Ik? hanged If we , favor' hint or nnyUxiy else: \ nt nn RttjMifc'ved -to be l^ete Pra*er. W * % hi '? ? who wan war hod out of till* town two week* uro mh m duller. attempted to hold up the Itiue IIIII couch la?t Wednesday evening at Otib Hiiu. 1 1 ?* might liOVH made <i big limit, as t |j ?- i . ? WIIH |)|cl)t,V of IIUMIfV HllOltrfl; l>llt 1IH nooii uM flunk (frtmb. flu* itrlVoi yelled at lit in lie made ii dhe for tin* hushe* , tiiid wiiK not heard of ugulu Hank has ?oi a four on lilui like ii i wounded |>ull, ami I?Ih y?ll? that even III ' \\C|.? lir i I <1 I Ii i utiles. If II reiill.N wiim I'trte I' i*n/, or wo hope lie was not geared out of t lie county. lie would coioo In very handy by a nd by when our vigilance committee had nothing to do ii ml wanted to keep their hands In. Hhould the I'liio Hill folks get hold of hlni (lint they wJII pIviiho remember thnt our people have first eliilni Not Used to Cbmat*. A cowboy named George Kwlfl culled at the kicker oltley yesterday to report that there wan a dead man lying beside tho highway at the top of (Jrl z/.ly hill. Oh Hie Santa Ko ioikI Mr. Hwift didn't get oil' his horse to in'uke it clone exam ination, hut It I* Ida opinion thnt the man wan a tenderfoot, unused to the climate, and that after the walk up hill he fell dead. Tli.* coroner goes out today to hold an Inquest, and it Is our opinion that ho will discover two or three bullot holey In the hotly. The high climate him more or less cfTin-t on strangers, hut it Seldyni'kllls them nnd folds their hands across their breasts at the name time, We were told the other day that the hoys over at 'Jx'J ranch, where Mr. fcwlft belongs. had ??planted" nine dif ferent strangers this. year. and 11 might be woll for the lc>?a I authorities to make a few Inquiries Not Any For U?. * We have received the prospectus of the Great .Jupiter silver mine, located somewhere or other In Colorado and now almost ready to turn out a mil lion dollars' worth of ore per week. We have further received an offer of $20, (MX) worth of stock to publish the said prospoctus one time. The management will please Accept our redhot thanks, but we aro not iu the business any more. In our green horn days we gave up our columns to prospectuses and accumulated some thing llko a billion dollars' worth of stock. We are the Crpesus of tho west. We've got enough, nnd more than enough, and we'll givo anybody a wheelbarrow load of stocks in ex change for a box of nickel cigars. In fact, we own thirty silver mines out and out, nnd we aro looking for a man who wants to give up $fUK) In cash and take the lot olT our hands. We Don't "Allege." Those newspaper chaps In the enst can't Imagine what a bnr<1en would roll off their hacks If they entered the Hold of far western journalism. In et ery one of our eastern exchanges the editor feels obliged to . use the prefix "allege" nr "alleged" even In speaking of 11 fifteen cent robbery or a knock down on si street corner. When an Arizona editor feels com pelled to resort to that he twill hunt for some other occupation. Our way Is straight from the shoulder. For instance, Captain Thompson, our beloved county register, borrowed $10 of us three months ago and agreed to return It next day. We don't "al lege" that he is a liar, but we boldly state the fact It is the same with !Cta.|or Davis. We don't "allege" that he l& a nuisance and a deadbeat, but we plainly come right out and nay so. and If he thinks he can make us chaw our words he knows where to And us. We either say a thing or keep shut about It. and we'd have to be served ?with notices of a thousand libel suits before we'd "allege" Anything against anybody. Passing Sentence on an Egg. "Walter!" From the table by the window the voice of an elderly gen tleman rose In accents wrathful. "Walter!" "Yes. sir." replied the much harassed one. hastening forward. The elderly gentlotnan, overcome by Ids emotions, rtaade several vain efforts to arficulato utterances. Then: "Take this egg away!" ho roared. "Take it away!" "Yes. air." sold the waiter -obliging ly as he glanced wistfully at the of fending article. . "And? and what shall I dp with It, sir?" "I)o with it?" The outraged cus tomer rose menacingly from his chair." "Do with it?" he bellowed fiercely. "Why. wring its neck!"? Fun. The R i n h t Shop. _ Mrs. Newlywud Is this tho taxi dermist? Man (on the telephone)? Yes, ma'am, Mrs. N. Wed -You stuff birds, don't yon? Man? Ye^. ma'am. Mrs. N. Vod? Well, how much -would you charge to eomo up here and stuff tho turkey we re going to have for din ner? I don't know how.? -Woman's Homo Companion. Not to Be Deceived. "Look at dat dorg chewing grass." "Wot's do matter wit' him?" "Dunno. but he can't Inveigle' me inside do fence. I never seen a dorg yet dat wuz a vegetarian."? Kansas City Journal. Saving the Thirat. Physician? Your fever will give you ' a terrible thirst. I must stop that. , Patient? Stop the fever all you like, doctor, but for my sake learo me the thirst.? Pele Mole. "Obvious. "You can't hang up your hat in this house, let me tell you." "Not very well while you aro sitting o? it,"? BaltlmoVe American. ' m A Preliminary Test of Skill Br MARK I1AMMERTON ?'I vlll pig stick you!" Tl?i? words were addressed to iih* by M lieutenant in the German army. He vviim very young, hi* beard JiiMt sprout ing. and since there had been no war between Germany and any other |m>W' er ?|qco long before he win horn he had had no way of iettinjr hi* imr pin", vim. We weif In a beer garden, and he had been Hitting ait a table, near one at which i Hat with a party of America u friend*. ' (jetting up from IjIm table, he walked pant us. and. my foot being to bin way. he took pains to stumble' against It Then, glaring down at me, he aald In lingllNh: "1 vlll pig Htlck you!" "What does the fellow mean?" "You've been challenged to fight a duel," xiild Washburn, an attache at the Airferleiin legation. He had lived In Berlin a number of year* and knew the ways of the Inhabitant*. "He can He rid all the challenge* he pleases," I said. "I'll pay no attention to them." "In that cane," Washburn replied, "you must give up the noclal stand you have propared to teke in |i?rlli>. I shouldn't like to put you forward as I have promised unless you either light young Donhoff. whom everybody knows and who i* on Intimate terms with the imperial family, or find some way 'jut of rlie matter" "What way out of the matter is l here 7" ?Til iliink ll over. I've helped ^ev era I > "Ii'i'leaii^ 'Mil of *uc|| scrapes My the bye. I think' I'll try the plan by \\ lii< li I saved Aibei'tson from gelling a sword t (it'll .t lief ween his libs' ?"Whin plan.?" ?| ilhlu'i explain It till the alTali was settled. nor will I tell you 1'ut your self in my hands, ask no questions, and I think I ctiti bring yon out of this with honor, probably with eclat." I assented, and he took a message from me to DouhofT. I was an Amer ican. and Americans did not Unlit duels. However. I was willing to fight; under certain conditions, or. rather. 1 would prove myself more skillful than he. We would lire at a hen'8 egg at twenty paces If he hit the egg oftener than I. I would stand up and permit j him to shoot at me as long as he liked If I lilt the egg more times than he. he I was to submit himself as a target for me. j The hot headed youngster accepted the conditions Indeed, he waa rather j pleased at the' novelty of the plan Washburn .arranged for a test of skill In a fencing academy and brought a basket of eggs to the place, whieh were to serve as targets The affair, being an unusual one. none of the safeguards common in duel preliminaries were taken Washburn fixed the target, sus pending the egg by a thread. DonhofT and I tossed for order of trial, and I won. Kach principal was to deliver five shots, and the one who shattered more eggs than tin* other won The day before the test 1 could scarcely hit a barn door, but 1 prac ticed sufficiently to hit an egg at least once in five shots On the trial I spat tered the contents twice. Donhofif. who like all. (Jerman arhiy officers was a good marksman, looked upon my work with evident contempt I missed the first and second shots, and as soon as I had done, so he seemed to lose air in terest in the contest He had dout)|1ess made a previous trial and discovered he could hit the egg every time. > I had been instructed by Washburn that when I beat DonhofT? and Wash burn assured me that if his Jjp^h worked I would? .1 was Immediately to renounce my right to make a target of him Washburn hung an egg for 111 in. He 11 rod somewhat earelessljAand missed. lie was surprised especially at seeing the 'egg vibrating from the Wind of tip' ball, lie fired a second shotv'ttils tjjije aiming can-fully Again he tills* fd. and again the egg dnnci^I IT^poW lie hit the egg at every remaining khot he could still -heat me. Though he'jook a long time to aim" before the third shot, he missed It . He could now only tie me Btk he had become so Irritated with hitnaelf that he was not capable of doiiUK as good work as before. lie misse<F the fourth and fifth shots, the egg at *?<*h successive sTiomCj fating lesj*. indicat ing that his aim had grown less *P?n rate On missing the fifth shot he threw his pistol down with an oatflh. Washburn shot mo a gin nee, and I cried. "I renounce the right I bave won!" and. hastening to Donhofl^pat out my hand. He took It. mui imprecations on himself for been so clumsy. Then he and hi*' thanked me for my magnanlmll left the academy. "By .loveT' exclaimed Wastri sinking into a chair "If those ft had exercised one-tenth the car#?&?y would havo taken In an ordinary- 6tiel I would hare bad to leave Berlln.*xL "What do you mean?" 1 asked. "You fired at a solid egg. DonhoCP at a shell from which 1 had drawn: tbe contents. No ball will bit an fmptv eggshell The wind will drive it Jlftlde every time." We had won by a Yankee trlc^. but since It wae merely to avoid jlfyuO spilling our ponsclewe* did nut mmble us.' I entered Berlin *nefen iinder Washbnrn'x wing with great ??elfiT I feared .that I would in- ealle?l to maintain' in > ? haiiti i>>n^l?ip hot' wnx let severely alum* ? tvt % fl 1 26 acres of land 9 miles South East of Camden; 50 acres open and under cultivation and under wire; about $700 worth of long and short leaf timber on tract; good stream running water, also' peach and one 4 room dwelling worth $1 200. one 4 room tenant house. Will sell for $2 500 ' H We also have listed with us for sale a valuable farm of several hun dred acres within two miles of Camden; this can be bought at a bargain and on easy terms. Price and terms on application. <? 100 acres at Knights Hill, commonly known as the 1 urpin Certain Place This farm consists of 60 acres of open land and 40 acres of fine^tim ber; one four room house on place. Price $2,000 and make terms to suit. <11 The Doby place, containing 450 acres 3 miles of Blaney; 250 acres open land ? a part of this under cultivation; 100 acres pasture land under wire- some good open creek land, plenty of wood and some timber on the place; good buildings; one overseers house; 6 tenant houses and two ba?. Twenty-five mile creek runs through this property. Price $7,600.00 Terms: % cash, balance in three years at iisual rate of interest. ? fl 361 acres of land on Town Creek, four miles South of Camden; 60 acres open land; two tenant houses, Will sell at a bargain. Plat of same can be seen at our office. , ? . fl 252 acres 9 miles East of Camden and known as the I urner place; 40 acres open land; II acres pasture land under wire; plenty of _ timber; one 3 room dwelling and one tenant house. For quick sale will sell at $10 PCr OFarm of 1 20 acres 2 miles North of Camden; 75 acres open and un der cultivation; 3 tenant houses, cotton house, barn and stables. Pnce $35 per acre? terms if desired. This is a good proposition for any one desir inc a small farm with improvements. ? 154./ acre8 of land 7" miles North of, Camden on South sidfe Lock hart road; two temant houses; 35 or 40 acres under cultivation; plenty of wood and about 50,000 feet of timber. Price $16.50 per acre. REAL ESTATE Bank Stock For Sale 1 am offering for sale, within 30 days. Five Thousand ($5,000) Dollars worth of stock of the Loan & Savings Bank, of Camden, S. C. L. L. CLYBURN DeKALB. S. C. MONEY TO IX) AN; On improved farms. Easy terms. Apply to B. B. Clarke, Camden, S C. 60. Bicycle Repairing Tube Vulcanizing Work that Satisfies is the only kind we do. ; ? ?v If you are hard to satis fy , bring your work to us. T o Deliver Promptly is Our Rule. - H. E. BEARD & CO. 921 Broad St. Camden, S. C. Is an absolute n sity for you as with^ a policy you can certain of a d amount each & are laid up? -be quire today || quaint yourself liberal terms of policies. WILLIAMS INSURANCE & REALTY r ( Incorporated ?) 1012 Broad Street Cimden, South AND PRESERVE your Furs, Blankets, Heavy Hangings, PortierS, Carpets. Wraps and Clothing by having thenv cleaned by our SPECIAL PROCESS (or Summer. CUMBERLAND