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Scenes and Persons in the Current News 1 ? Washington firemen at their annual task of hashing the summer's gr^ine oft" the National Capitol. 2 ? Wisconsin 1 state police in armored motorcycles escorting truckloads milk during the farmers' strike. 3 ? Newest members of ! the NUA advisory board; loft to right : It. E. Flanders, president of Jouos and Lamson Machine company; Oen. It. E. | Wood, president of Soars. Koehuck & Company; Clay WllKams of t ho Reynolds Tobacco company and Pierre Du Pont i of Du I'ont de Nemours & Co. ' West Virginia Has Lots of Apples This Year The yield of the orchards nbout Inwood, W. Va., |re shown here In n great heap of apples that Is five feet deep and eight miles long. Hy count there are 150,000 bushels of apples In the pile, and the canneries are busy at the Job of converting the great crop into myriad tins of apple products. HEIRESS FOILED Mrs. Merry Knhrney I'ickeriny. twen ty-two y ??!i r ? old. of Oak I'ark, 111 suhurh of Chicago, heiress to the mil linns loft h.v the lute Dr. I'eter I'ahr iiey. whs drnirged from an oee.'in liner at Now York when she tried to sail with her fiance. Count George I ? i Georglo, who was lenvinj* the country nt the request of the federal authori ties. The yoiinu woman declares she will Join the count in South America nnd wed him as soon as she can tret the necessary money from her fanrlv WOMAN MADE A JUDGE May A. Hentley, who Iiiih Ih-ch clil Id wolfiire worker In tho Nntloimi Cnpltnl for mnny yenrn, linn t?r?r?i? Klvon ? rocofis appointment to n Judtro i slilp on tlio Juvenile court hcnch of tlio district by I'rculdent Kooscvclt Mlnft Hentlcy wna formerly director of school nttendnncc and work pcrmlta for flic honrd of education. Get* First Wheat Redaction Check There's Gold in the Ohio Hills Orville .1 Kiseie. Iowa farmer, was t li<? lirsl to receive a government check after signing the crop reduction wheat |>l!in. Tin? check was for $04.44 an a tenant's sharp for cutting six acres off the flft.v tlve acres which had been used for raising wheat, lie is shown holding his small son. Thflfw 1 1? r???? modern t>rofl|M>ctoi*R, Itohort I'ltua, Frank l.ukomlro nnd Kylo Moyer. rniiROd n lot of oxoltomont In tho hnmlot of OvvoiirvIIIo, nonr Ilntnvln. Olilo, by tholr discovery of gold In tbo neighborhood. "Pfly ?1 1 rt " from the Tltim fnrm In ?nld to ho producing nt tho ruto of $1.20 n ruble ynrd. Just NAMING THE BABY June, secretary to an attorney, went to mil on a dear friend, Mrs. S., and her new horn daughter. She was met :i t the door hy little William, full of news about the new sister. "Well, what have you named her?" asked Jane. Suddenly an aggrieved expression overspread his happy face, and al most in tears he replied: "Oh I wanted to name her Spot, hut muvver wouldn't." ? Indianapolis News. Others Might Copy Neighbor -Are you still bothered with those relatives from the city who came every Sunday to eat a bin dinner, and then never Invited you in return? Victim ? No; they finally took the hint. Neighbor ? What did you say to them? Victim ? Oh, nothing was said. Rut we served sponge cake every time they came. Proof of Affection The chorus girl was giving notice that the company would have to dis pense with her services, owing to her approaching marriage. "Pretty sudden, isn't It?" growled the manager. "It was, In a way," agreed the girl. "I only met him _a-^short time ago. and at first 1 wasn't 'sure of my feel ings. But the moment 1 saw his car I knew 1 loved him."? Stray Stories. Imitation Influence "Arc there any lobbyists around the United States Capitol?" asked, the lady wii!i a note bonk. "Ceitainly not," answered Senator Sorghum. "Who are the gentlemen who pre tend to have so much Influence?" "They are enterprising persons who manage to^ get paid large sums for fooling their employers." Pow'ful Stuff "Hear you had some trouble on your tour." "Yes, I ran out of gas while cross ing a mountain, and a moonshiner in sisted I could use some of his stuff that would do Just as well ns gas." "Did it?" f "Well, it ate off the gas tank be fore I'd gone three miles." ? Cincin nati Knqulrer. Ingenious Nornh There was a crash in the kitchen. The mistress found the maid and little Margaret gazing at something on the floor. "Oh, mother," exclaimed the child. "Just see the lovely Jig-saw puzzle Norah had made out of one ot the new plates." Effective Treatment "He's an old (lame of mine." "Yeah, he ought to be extin guished." ? Kansas City Star. Renew Your Health by Purification Any physician will tell you that "Perfect Purification of the System is Nature's Foundation of Perfect Health." Why not rid yourself of chronic ailments that are undermin ing your vitality? Purify your en- i tiro system by taking a thorough :ourso of Calotabs, ? once or twice a week for several weeks ? and see how Naturo rewards you with health. Calotabs purify the blood hy acti vatingthe liver, kidneys, stomachand bowels. Trial package, 1 0 cts. Fami ly package, 35 cts. All dealers. (Adv.) FRIEND IN NEED "I'd like to soil this saxophone of mine. I need the money." "All right, let me take It. I'll sell It for you." "How you going to sell It?" "I have a neighbor that hates 'em. I'll start to learn to play It and ad vertise It at the same time." ? Port land Express. / Hot One "I'm sorry 1 ever became your wife," she said bitterly. "Oh." lie Hung back, "you were no young bird when I married you." "No," she retorted, "but consider ing what 1 got 1 was an early bird." Married Men Know "Pocket editions of books are very handy." remarked the book worm. "liut .lot as handy as the ordinary pocketbook," retorted the family man. You're Next! Examiner ? What is the feminine of bachelor? Student ? Er ? or ? lady-in-waiting. NO DOUBT ABOUT IT "That 'cellist says he has made a remarkable success." "Draws the long how, Hi:" Too Cheap Casey ? All 1 want is a dollar! Kelly ? Oh, if that's all you want, I wouldn't trust you ? you lack ambi tion. ? Brooklyn Kagle. Something l.ike T'.t&l Teacher? What is a volcano? Bright Boy ? A high mountain that keeps on interrupting. MORE SATISFACTION CAN'T BE BOUGHT No Wondetf Then there was the boy who drank two bottles of Rohl pnlnt nn<l now feels Ktillty. ? Kansas City Star. Job Started It "The skin of my tooth" is not a now skins phrase by any moans. It appears In Job 151:20. Ease Pain, Headache in Few Minutes PEG, I'M FRANTIC.THIS A'ORK, MUST BE DONE - AND IV'E * SPLITTING HEADACHE r don't worry, get SOME REAL BAYER ASPIRIN AND YOUR HEAOAChEWlU BE GONE BEFORE Vt>U KNOW IT... M 2 LATER. LOOK WHAT IV'E OQNE, PEG... BAYER ASPIRIN STOPPED THAT AWFUL HEADACHE IN A JIFFY.,. never FELT better. I ^ I KNEW IT WOULD | BAYER ASPIR.IN IS THe QUICKEST SAFE REUEPFtoM Paiu KUOWW For Quick Relief Hay Bayer Aspirin? When You Buy Now comes amazingly quick relief from headaches, rheumatism, neuri tis, neuralgia . . . the fastest safe relief, it is said, yet discovered. Those results arc due to a scien tific discovery;., by which a Bayer Aspirin Tablet begins to dissolve, or^ disintegrate, in the amazing space of two seconds after touching moisture. And hence to start "takinc hold" of pain a few minutes after taking. The illustration of the glass, here, tells the story. A Bayer Tablet starts to disintegrate almost instantly you swallow it. And thus is ready to go to work almost instantly. When you buy, though, see that you get the Genuine BA"\ EH Aspirin. For Bayer Aspirin's quick relief always say "BAYIiK Aspirin." WHY BAYER ASPIRIN WORKS SO FAST Drop a Bayer Tablet in a glass of water. Note that BR FORE it touches bottom, it has started to dis integrate. what it does in this glass it does in your stomach. Hence its fast action. Does Not Harm the Heart ASK FOR IT ny NAMF LAROr JARST 5? AND 1 O' WHY PAY ^ MORE? j /white petroleum jelly * ALIO IN TUMI I ?? WNU ? 7 4(i :v\ Many folks from below ihe Mason Dixon line make The Martini que their head quarters in New York Within one block. Pennsylvania Station, Empire State Build ing, Fifth Avenue, and the largest depart ment stores Witbtn our four wal/t good rooms., good meals, good people. Single, $2 to $3- 50. Double, $3 to $5. None higher. Direction... American Hotels Corporation GF.ORG F II WARTMAN. Mann/itr HEADQUARTERS FOR fOUTI HOTEL MARTINIQUE BROADWAY AT 3 2NDSTRF.FI NEW YORK /V?w Iteds, /V?m? llatlin, /Vr?t? C.arpet*, /Voir ffecoratioriM ? A now and beltet hotel for leu* money limn ever before ATUNTAN I Wil l VON, Mamtffpr I lolel ROOM RAT KS: IVr Day. $1.50 Up. far lor Suilo, $5.00 lip AUTO STORAGE and PARKING Immediately Ad jacent to (he Hotel. 300 ROOMS 300 BATHS On The Deck ? Top of Kvcry thinK. (icorRi* Kr irl^o Club at Home 12:00 Noon to 12:00 Mlrlnlfcht Kvery D?y. CAFE RATES: Good Food Ah You Like It! BrenkfAHt, Dinner or Supper ? 25c to JiOc Cornet fjuldr Mr (lone Street* ATI. A INT A. <; A.