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APRIL FOOL JOKE, ALL RIGHT Grocer, His Wife, and Unknown M8ucker" All Mixed Up in Peculiar Little Comedy. "Oh, no, there won't be any divorce," aid the grocer. "Wife and I won't I speak to each other for the next three months, and then we'll begin to get ' friendly again. You see, I had changed small bills for a fifty, and when I ' went home that night wife wanted a new dress. I told her I couldn't afford it, as I had had a bad fifty passed on me, and when she doubted I showed " 11 - t,n wnrH ft\T ner ine om. sue iuuk m/ > >?.? --- . it and said she'd wait." "That was good for her," said the listener. "So it was, but you wait a minute. 1 I shoved the bill into my vest pocket and thought no more of it 'till next * morning?April Fool morning. The 1 bill was gone and I humped for the 1 house like a cyclone. Had she seen 1 It? She had. She had found it on 1 the bedroom floor. Thank heaven." 1 'That was lucky." . "And then she told me that being It was a counterfeit, and being as it 1 was April Fool's day, she had taken it out to the sidewalk and then watched a man picking it up. She j was laughing at his feelings when he hound himself stung." "And you told her she had flung ' away fifty gold dollars?" "Yes, and that her mother must go, and the hired girl must go, and we'd have to make a pound a butter tio us for a ^eek, and a hundred other things. I jumped up and down. I awore. I smashed things." "And then?" "Oh, she just called me a fool and let it go at that, and I guess she's right"?Exchange. Chester Education Board Meets. The Chester county board of education at its meeting granted the petition of the citizens of Blackstock for I a separate school district. Blackstock will be the centre of this die It win rnvor a rarrltnrv nf fnnr ! and one-half square miles in Chester county and a similar area in Fairfield county. The hoard will meet next week ta redlstrict the territory re maining in the present Biackstoch fl]rtrirfi Vfflfr T T r" ma a-^elnt? - ed by the board a trustee of Pleasant Grove prhool district. No. 20. Hookworm Campaign in Union. Union. ? Dr. Wickllffe Rose, In oharge of the Rockefeller fund for scientific medical investigation, and Dr. LaBruce Ward of the state board of health, were here in the interest cf the campaign being waged against the hookworm in this county. In company with Dr. L. A. Riser, in charge of the work here, they visited the Cross Keys section of the county and left for Easlev. The work in this county has progressed. The examinations show Infection in about 25 per cent of those examined. A>y' lij I ?1J_L_LL F= JUULOhI IJ L ? jHfJL LARGE REWARD FOR HONESTY Entire Fortune of Eccentric Man Left to Young Girl Who Withstood Temptation. A wealthy man died in Brussels, leaving nearly the whole of his fortune to a young woman who was entirely unacquainted with him. He was a very eccentric man, and set out, like Diogenes, in search of an honest man. His "tub" was an omnibus, and his lantern a small coin. In the omnibus he took his seat near the conductor, and always showed himself very obliging, passing up the money of passengers and returning the change, but to the latter he always managed to add a franc, or a half-franc. Then he would watch those to whom it came. They would count it carefully; notice the extra coin, and invariably slip it into their pockets. No one thought of the poor conductor, whose meager salary of three francs a day could ill spare Buch a loss. But at last a young woman passed hers back with: "Conductor, you have given me half a franc too much." "Diogenes," delighted, followed her home, made inquiries, and as the answers were satisfactory, made his will In her favor, though he never gave her warning that her half-franc waa going to bring her a million. SEEMS A POOR OCCUPATION Demand for Female "Kennel-Malde" Said to Be the Latest In the Old Country. Ladies have been advised to take up the profession of "kennel-maid," but the latest development of this occupation appears to be that of "canine nurse." Reports from the old country tell that* there are actually institutions for training ladles to become nurses for dogs. They are taught to study the different ailments of the canine pets, and have to serve an apprenticeship for at least twelve months before they are qualified. A good nurse can command a good salary. Only recently a lady i:'v Dublin engaged one of these canine nurses at $16 a week, besides paying traveling expenses. At most dog shows in Engtumes attending the valuaible animals that are on exhibition. An advertise-" ment appeared in a London journal only a few weeks ago offering $300 npp vpnr and all found for a qualified kennel maid. Parole Granted By Governor. Columbia. ? Louis Bunion, alia? George Brunson, who was convicted ir the Richland county court in 1905 on the charge of carbreaking and larceny on two counts and sentenced to eight and seven years' imprisonment, re spectively, in the state penitentiary was paroled by the governor. Sine assuming office the governor has extended clemency in 609 cases. .iiM-t-m TTTI III FR-ffl How Are You ? This ! If you w; service use d0A New* fink 0llc 0jm Always re ||||g No coal, s !&s93| Food cooke jEgrePa body happi |g|ggj Made with |P& STANDARD Norfolk, V*. gj^] ~ Kicknoai, Y*. HAD NO DELUSIONS AT ALL Sweet Angelina Did Not Give the Sweet Response Henry So Ar> dently Expected. Love's young dream is indeed a beautiful thing. Sweet Angelina and Henry thought it hardly possible such bliss could be theirs as they sat on the river bank in the cool of an August evening. They met only at week-ends, for he was a toiler In the city, and he found it cheaper to lodge near his work. And now the blessed week-end spent at home was here, and he could see nothing but uninterrupted happiness till Monday morning. He slipped * * * %_?? ? xoi'n tirftlaf 18 arm rouna dih sweeiueai<. d no?h i "Dearest!" he) said. Her gaze was fixed on the water. "Darling!" he murmured again, drawing her towards him. "Can you guess why 1 come home every Saturday?" "Yes," was the scarcely whispered answer. "What Is.lt, dearest?" he asked, anxiously waiting for the sweet reply that he felt sure must he hovering on those pretty lips. "It's?It's for your clean clothes, isn't it?" she queried softly. To Town Under False Pretenses, "I was born In the dark of the moon and foredoomed to ride two loads in the rear of the antepenultimate!" mordaciously explained Pip Maudlin, the popular clubman of Skeedee, as he stood humped up and hopeless at Tenth street and Grand avenue. "I | read in the 'Speaking the Public Mind* I department in The Star where a helpful gent announced that the wind was giving a grand free exhibition at this corner by floating the hats of the men as high as the tops of the buildings and starting the Mnger-ee of the ladies In the same direction. Having business in Kay See this week, anyhow, I set my date two days ahead and came right along. And now, by jimplecute, ! as soon as I get here the wind dies ' down flat, till if I had the onlx match , within a hundred miles I could light my cigar with perfect safety. And it -?i ,1.., ?_ T 1 1 llllll mat iu iuj uaouc iu 50W u?io m. I forgot to bring the list of things I I wanted to buy. Ar-r-r-r-r!"?Kansas TAp.Star? ~ English State Horses. A curious interest attaches to the j creau>culored horses which draw the ; state coach of the sovereign on ceremonial occasions. These "ponies," as tbey are called, represent the white 1 horse which was the standard of the ancient Saxons, and 1b still preserved in the royal shield of the House of Hanover, by which it was reintroduced into England. The famous white i horse carved on the slope of Ufflngton 1 hill in Berkshire is a proof that it was 1 known to our Saxon ancestors, who thus recorded their great victory over the Danes. Who has not heard of "The Scouring of the White Horse?"?London Chronicle. [| Going To Cook Summer? J7 ant cool, quick a IbBSdioR UMifciinrrat-gn ook-stev? KL :ady for use. Is V moke or ashes, ;d better, every- |ajj|jip OIL COMPANY V ew Jcrtejr) Charlotte, N. C. ^ LT1M0RE Chariest oa, S. & Considering A great deal of our new busir or indirect, influence of our < evidence that our treatment factory. Now, if you are conside know any of our depositors, talk with them, and learn fn expect from us. Your account, whether la careful attention. Merchants & 1 CHERAl W. P. STEVENSON President T. G. MATHESON D. S. M.A Cashier Vice At an Owner Should Be. Whilst it 16 each man's Interest that not only ease and convenience of living, but also wealth or surplus products should exist somewhere, it need not be in his hands. Often it is very undesirable to him. Goethe said well: "Nobody should be rich bu? those who understand It." Some men are born to own. and can animate all their possessions. Others cannot; their owning is not graceful?seems to be a compromise of their character; they seem to steal their own dividends.. They should own who can administer, not they who hoard and conceal; not they who, the great proprietors they are, are only the greater beggars, but they whose work carves out work for more, opens a path for all. For he is the rich man In whom the people are rich; and he Is the poor man in whom the people are poor.?Emerson. Legal Opinion. "A cat .sits on my back fence every, __ night and he yowls and yowls and " yowls. Now, I don't want to have any trouble with neighbor Jones, but this thing has gone far enough, and I want you to tell me what to do." The young lawyer looked as solemn as an old sick owl, ^nd said not a word. "I have a right to shoot the cat, haven't I?" "I would hardly say that,'' replied young Coke Blackstone. "The cat does not belong to you, as I understand it." "No, but the feDr:e does." "Then," concluded the light of law. "I think It safe to say you have a perfect right to tear down the fence."? New York Preaa. I \ I 1 I. Ik's - ry " "* i A Change? leas comes to us as the direct ;ustoraers, which is sufficient of them is perfectly satisring a banking change, and make it a point to have a om them just what you may rge or small, will receive our Farmers Bank N, S. C. H. M. DUVALL Vlce-Pre? LTHESON J. H. WANNAMAKER Pres Hss't. uasDier ft headache, biliousness, in- ft I digestion, rheumatism, M m pimples, blotches, yellow ft complexion, etc., are all ft ft signs of poisons in your ' I blood. These poisons M m should be driven out, or ft ft serious illness may result ft: M To get rid of them, use I I Thedford's" I [Black-Dniiighti I the old, reliable, purely ft I vegetable, liver med-'cine. ft; ; I Mrs. J. H. Easier, of ft m Spartanburg, S. C., says: ft years. I felt bad most of Ml the time, I tried Thed- Mi M ford's Black-Draught and ft> I now I feel better than ft H Vaii. Hninrm'cf c?ll? If In I VUI UlUg^lOt UV?W u> _ 25 cent packages M I Insist on Thedford's I STETENSON & PRINCE Attorneys at Law Merchants & Farmers Bank Building CHE RAW, S. C? Fresh Beef and Pork and Pork Sausage at H. A. Burch's Market PHONE 80 . Covington Hotel Building Second Street Cheraw, S. C. A O. CHAPMAN Phone 2b. Cheraw, 8. C. First class Jlvery. Reasonable prices. For quick trips I use first I)It. J. E. FUKDEBBl'BK, i>ental Surgeon, Phones: Ofiice 138; Residence 174 Office over Merchants & Farmers Bank DB. L. BUIST. KEBBISOX DENTIST Opposite the Evans Co. rurniw fi r. Phones: Office 222. Residence 72. Signs Missing. "Why do ycu want your money back?" asked the man at the box office. "You're operating under false pretenses here. This isn't a real vaudeville show. I noticed that three of the performers sang songs in which there was no mention of love in connection with the stars above."