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■v. •• 19^4 f; i * 'H m s. d ■ l/-', 'V'-i THE JEDGETS JOSH i^t FTY : By HUS ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦« Go Ea^r Here ' ;* He: “Have you ever been on a pet- T 5: ' mg:0 ■M IV m She: “J most certainly bavf not.” All of which sounds very proper until we tiske this opportunity of tell ing you that HIS name was Not. WJ _ The Millennium, - Customer (entering garage): “I would like to see a first-dass second hand car.” Proprietor (smiling): “So would I, brother.” ^ C-c was i V t* i' Got Her Number Hubby: “That Mrs. Snupkins is an awful egotist." Wife: “What makes you think so?" by: “She Ivory: To restore ivory' that has ttimed yellow tb its natural color, rub'with turpentine. . Coot Hangers: If coat hungers are covered Vrith velvet instead of sift, the garments will no\ slip off. . Cabbage: When boiling cabbkge put in a piece of stale bread. This kills the unpleasant pdor. Japanese Trays: Try this for clean ing Japanese trays. Maks a mixture of vinegar and powdered whiting. Apply it with a> soft flannel, wipe off with & clean cloth and polish with a chamois. ■ Toothbrush: If a hew toothbrush is soaked over night in a glass of water, the bristles will not come out and it will last twice as long. Potatoes: To utilize leftover boiled ■A# M By H. II =3S= iCopyrighi.) Hubby: “She pulled her hand away quickly in shaking hands when l didn’t have any intehtions of squeez ing it." potatoes, and make a few “go I thought everything was going on smoothly between Clive Murmlen and her—what’s the trouble now?” “(Mi," sighed Mrs. Powers, ‘‘one» of Gladys’ freaks. Perhaps, if we named her Saruh June—after my mother, as I wanted to do, Instead of Gladys, she would not have had these romantic spasms.” ' “Perhaps not," returned Mr. Pow ers, “though a Sarah Jane can be as romantic as a 1 Gladys If she makes ^ip her mind to It. Put you haven’t an- BOMB GOOD AD TICK =S by Clinton Bxperiunoto. ^ Kidney disease is too dnngeroUp to diieglect^ At the ftnrt iign of ahce, headache, dlzzinetevO disorders, you should give sned kidneys prompt attention. Take things easier and use a reliable kid ney tonic. There’s no other kidney QAED Mr. Powers ttf Mm. pow^hTfl^tetHcine ao well recommended as ° “What’s the matter with Gladys? V oatt ’ s ^ ll8 ; Clintep people rely on V v . m k i ■Wt. around", cut them up, add a slice ob'bwered my question—what’s the row?" Just Like Humans She: “Why do leaves turn red in the Fall?" He: “They are blushing, remember- ing how green they were in the Spring." Going Some Mother: “Did that young, man put his arm around you last night?" Daughter: “Yes, Mother, three times." Mother: “Heaven, what long arms. 99 Blond Bess bpines “If women were wiser, they would- not complain when their 'husbands go to a ball game. No man can go to the dogs while he is eating pea nuts and rooting for one more run to win the game." Boy, Oh* Bey . , Soph: “Some kids kicked a foot ball through the window and hit Gladys right hi the ribs." i 'it hurt her?” Other Soph: “Did Soph: “No, but it durned near bust ed three of my Angers.” Crazy—Like a For What do you think of a man who gets out of bed at midnight when it is pouring rain and goes horseback riding?^ nk he’s bread cut into dice and fry the pota toes together. It makes a delicious dish. Soup: When making soup always put the meat in cold water. Corned beef and han> should be put id boiling water. Add a tablespoon of vinegar to make the meat tender. Hot Water Bottle: After empty ing a hot water bottle it should be slightly inflated with air before the stopper is replaced. Then powder with talcum and put away in a card board box where it will not be damag ed by contact with light and air. Linen*. Linen that is not to be uaed for quite a while should never be starched, as it may crack. The linen should be rinsed quite free of starch, dried and folded away in blue paper. The blue paper will keep it from turning yellow. Starch: If little pieces of scented toilet soap are dropped in your hot starch, it Will give the clothing a fra grant odor. ' Stains: To remove co^od 'stkinir from tablecloths and napkins try washing them first with cold water and then pour boiling water through until the stain has disappeared). This will also remove coffee and tea steins. Bath Tub: Rub the tub with a cloth dampened with kerosene oil. It does not hurt the enamel and will remove all stains with less work. ways I think he’s crazy. Who did that? H’m—our friend, Paul Revere. Ed Pnrdy’s Philos “Comes the time and now here, when woman’s petticoat is neither seen nor heard." 6 66 -V ts a prescription . for Malaria, Chills and Fever, Dengue or BU- lious Fever, ft kills the germs. “The row, as you so crossly put It,” replied Mrs. Powers, “Is that Gladys has met an English baronet and has become obsessed with the Idea of be ing culled Lady Benton Sykes. Clive and his flourishing wdll-puper busi ness seem altogether too prosaic for Her.” “Ah," said Mr. Powers, “qtour girl Is building Castles In Spain?” “No," was the reply, “not building castles In Spain, but contemplating expending some of your hard-earned mqpey in patching up a castle In Eng land." From the time they were children, living In adjoining houses. It had al ways been understood between the era and the Marsden families t, when they arrived at a proper age, Clive and Gladys should become man and wife. Clive and Gladya bad always so understood It since they could remember. Gladya was only twenty, you know —and Sir Benton was a most pre sentable young man. He had come tb‘ hrttteU 1 0 v Jwtf** ductloa to the very best people and was a quiet, unassuming youth of good character.. Clive, after his row with Gladys, bad gone off on s fish ing expedition, telling her that, by the time he got back, she would prob ably have regained her senses. That made Gladys a trifle “mad,” as can be imagined. She #ould become Lady Benten-Sykee now just fbr spite, If nothing else. Not that Sir Benton had formally asked her to accept that po sition, but be had looked It and. as she thought, Intimated his intentions pretty clearly. Several times he had said: “Miss Powers, I have something serious which I want to speak to you about," and then, blushing and hesi tating, had faltered: "Well, another them. Here’s oen of the many state ments from Clinton people. ' Mrs. C. H. Pearson, 51 A Lydia Mill, says: “My hack was giving me trouble. During tile day I was both ered with a dull ache through my kidneys that tired die out and for a time I wasn’t, able to do a met deal. I wee convinced my kidneys were causing the trouble because they didn’t act right. I stne for a of Doan’s Pills after in the paper. ■IPHP tions | soon rid o fthe anhoyance and able to go about feeling as well as ever. I gladly endorse Doan’s for the help thev gave me in so short a time." 60c, at all dealers. Foster-Milburn Co., Mfrs., Buffalo, N. Y. B.N. A. SMITH, of Shaw, Miss., says he can’t remember beta? without Thedford’e Bl&c£-Dr&ught liver med icine since he and Mrs. Smith began keeping house, many years “When we have t did me lots < _ ’When I go to town, I look first to see hpw near out of .Black-Draught We are, and then get more. from jox of Doan's Pills alter reading about them in the paper. I took them according to directions and was fthe anne The secretary of a $25,000,000 oil company in Texas is a woman. Draught Is what we use and we find it just splen did. I had a bad case of stomach trouble. I couldn't bet enoiura and was very weak. Everything I ate hurt me, formed gaeaad 1 spit up my food. I would feel stupider didn't feel like work. I knew what i t had done in colds and T began taking small We are a good way the doctor and keep our home remedies ana the ata^ne is hundreds of __ keaaea, houaeketpon keep Black-Draught oa the shea, handy for use when a houashold remedy to oenstipetien, biUnuwieee. •'--•“inn A dose of later on. year shelf. Buy Get a package today. SPECIAL BARGAINS IN MAGAZINE CLUBS Until November 10th, 1924 JAS. W. CALDWELL Phone 243 v JK' ■jnSBBBUBSBSBSBBBSBHBBSBBBBHBIBBIBBBI time." Oh, Gladys was sure she had only to say “Yes.’’ The violent and unreasonable man- Columbia OCT 0;BJE R 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 / NIGHT>dJDAY EVERYTHING THATiA BIG STATE FAIR SHOULD HAVE BETTER THAN EVER THERE, WILL YOU V «r-. fc- ner In which Clive had acted when she had told him of her decision to become Lady Sykes had angered Gladys—but yet she shed many tears In secret when she thought of the im petuous young man who was now catching fish in the Block Island wa ters. If he had really cared for her he would have begged her to reconsid er frerTlcctsttmrBut he didn’t. The brute! And tften she cried some more. Mrs. Powers talked with her daugh ter, trying to bring her to reason. But she was onl* half-hearted and left the Interview with a secret feel ing that It would qot be so had, after fill, to be the mother-in-law of a real, live baronet.^ Mr, Powers sputtered and called his dear ctyld many.sorts of an Idiot. But, ns usual in that household, Simeon only acted In an atMsory capacity. Gladys and her mother formed the executive commit tee. Gladys received n letter from Clive which was written as If there had never been any misunderstanding between them. He told her how much he was enjoying himself. Still she told Kerseli that she was going to accept the hand of Sir Ben ton Sykes—whenever he got ready to offer It. And this, she thought, would be very soon. Two days before the date fixed for the return of (’live to New York, Sir Benton called upon Gladys and when they were alone be gan a little speech which he had evi dently prepared carefully in advance. “Miss Powers.” said he, “there Is a matter concerning which T have been wanting to speak to you for some time." Gladys-—now that the critical mo ment had come—suddenly sulTerfd a revulsion of sentiment. She had been expecting a proposal from Sir Benton and had made up her mind to accept it. But now she made an about face. “Sir Benton,” said she, “I am afraid that what you are about to ask will be Impossible for me to grant. I shall always think of you ns a valued friend and hope that you will so regard me.” “I am very much disappointed.” re plied £lr Benton, “for what 1 was go ing to ask you would have meant a great deal to me. My references ar<» of''the best. I came to America look Ing for an occupation. And I had hoped that you would help me to get the position of European agent for /he wall-paper house conducted by Mr. Marsden." Gladys hit her Ups She was jflmost tempted to throw th*- paper weight on the table before her at this Ingenuous young man's head But she replied calmly: “My (lenr Sir Benton, I will be only too glad to con vey to Mr. Marsden your request for employment. I am quite confident that as a wall-paper drummer you would he a success.” The baronet expressed his thanks and withdrew. Clive came home and Gladys told-him the whole story. Sir Bentpk Is now the European •gmummka AM?* end Je 4 been .msirted s year. pu*+m Glairs * 7 • -W*. \ Clard New FaH Coats and LADIES’ COATS New, Snappy Fall Coats, new styles, new materials. You’ll like these garments. $18.50 to $69,75 FALL DRESSES New Fall Dresses of Silk and Wool. Call and try on these Dresses. They have both quality and style. You’ll find the most wanted colors here. $19.75 to $49.75 LADIES’ SWEATERS • ^ New Sweaters in the heavy shaker and brush wool. They come in all shades. $5.00 $12.50 l auhlns, s c “A GOOD PLACE TO TRADE” , - y 1 * •*, \ -'i «