The Clinton chronicle. (Clinton, S.C.) 1901-current, October 09, 1924, Image 11
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THE JEDGETS JOSH
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By HUS
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Go Ea^r Here ' ;*
He: “Have you ever been on a pet-
T 5: '
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She: “J most certainly bavf not.”
All of which sounds very proper
until we tiske this opportunity of tell
ing you that HIS name was Not.
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_ The Millennium,
- Customer (entering garage): “I
would like to see a first-dass second
hand car.”
Proprietor (smiling): “So would I,
brother.” ^
C-c
was
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Got Her Number
Hubby: “That Mrs. Snupkins is an
awful egotist."
Wife: “What makes you think so?"
by: “She
Ivory: To restore ivory' that has
ttimed yellow tb its natural color,
rub'with turpentine.
. Coot Hangers: If coat hungers are
covered Vrith velvet instead of sift,
the garments will no\ slip off. .
Cabbage: When boiling cabbkge
put in a piece of stale bread. This
kills the unpleasant pdor.
Japanese Trays: Try this for clean
ing Japanese trays. Maks a mixture
of vinegar and powdered whiting.
Apply it with a> soft flannel, wipe off
with & clean cloth and polish with a
chamois.
■ Toothbrush: If a hew toothbrush is
soaked over night in a glass of water,
the bristles will not come out and it
will last twice as long.
Potatoes: To utilize leftover boiled
■A#
M
By H. II
=3S=
iCopyrighi.)
Hubby: “She pulled her hand away
quickly in shaking hands when l
didn’t have any intehtions of squeez
ing it."
potatoes, and make a few “go
I thought everything was going on
smoothly between Clive Murmlen and
her—what’s the trouble now?”
“(Mi," sighed Mrs. Powers, ‘‘one» of
Gladys’ freaks. Perhaps, if we named
her Saruh June—after my mother, as
I wanted to do, Instead of Gladys, she
would not have had these romantic
spasms.” '
“Perhaps not," returned Mr. Pow
ers, “though a Sarah Jane can be as
romantic as a 1 Gladys If she makes ^ip
her mind to It. Put you haven’t an-
BOMB GOOD AD TICK
=S
by Clinton Bxperiunoto.
^ Kidney disease is too dnngeroUp to
diieglect^ At the ftnrt iign of
ahce, headache, dlzzinetevO
disorders, you should give
sned kidneys prompt attention. Take
things easier and use a reliable kid
ney tonic. There’s no other kidney
QAED Mr. Powers ttf Mm. pow^hTfl^tetHcine ao well recommended as
° “What’s the matter with Gladys? V oatt ’ s ^ ll8 ; Clintep people rely on
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around", cut them up, add a slice ob'bwered my question—what’s the row?"
Just Like Humans
She: “Why do leaves turn red in
the Fall?"
He: “They are blushing, remember-
ing how green they were in the
Spring."
Going Some
Mother: “Did that young, man put
his arm around you last night?"
Daughter: “Yes, Mother, three
times."
Mother: “Heaven, what long
arms.
99
Blond Bess bpines
“If women were wiser, they would-
not complain when their 'husbands
go to a ball game. No man can go
to the dogs while he is eating pea
nuts and rooting for one more run to
win the game."
Boy, Oh* Bey . ,
Soph: “Some kids kicked a foot
ball through the window and hit
Gladys right hi the ribs."
i 'it hurt her?”
Other Soph: “Did
Soph: “No, but it durned near bust
ed three of my Angers.”
Crazy—Like a For
What do you think of a man who
gets out of bed at midnight when it
is pouring rain and goes horseback
riding?^
nk he’s
bread cut into dice and fry the pota
toes together. It makes a delicious
dish.
Soup: When making soup always
put the meat in cold water. Corned
beef and han> should be put id boiling
water. Add a tablespoon of vinegar
to make the meat tender.
Hot Water Bottle: After empty
ing a hot water bottle it should be
slightly inflated with air before the
stopper is replaced. Then powder
with talcum and put away in a card
board box where it will not be damag
ed by contact with light and air.
Linen*. Linen that is not to be uaed
for quite a while should never be
starched, as it may crack. The linen
should be rinsed quite free of starch,
dried and folded away in blue paper.
The blue paper will keep it from
turning yellow.
Starch: If little pieces of scented
toilet soap are dropped in your hot
starch, it Will give the clothing a fra
grant odor.
' Stains: To remove co^od 'stkinir
from tablecloths and napkins try
washing them first with cold water
and then pour boiling water through
until the stain has disappeared). This
will also remove coffee and tea
steins.
Bath Tub: Rub the tub with a cloth
dampened with kerosene oil. It does
not hurt the enamel and will remove
all stains with less work.
ways
I think he’s crazy. Who did that?
H’m—our friend, Paul Revere.
Ed Pnrdy’s Philos
“Comes the time and now here,
when woman’s petticoat is neither
seen nor heard."
6 66
-V
ts a prescription . for Malaria,
Chills and Fever, Dengue or BU-
lious Fever, ft kills the germs.
“The row, as you so crossly put It,”
replied Mrs. Powers, “Is that Gladys
has met an English baronet and has
become obsessed with the Idea of be
ing culled Lady Benton Sykes. Clive
and his flourishing wdll-puper busi
ness seem altogether too prosaic for
Her.”
“Ah," said Mr. Powers, “qtour girl
Is building Castles In Spain?”
“No," was the reply, “not building
castles In Spain, but contemplating
expending some of your hard-earned
mqpey in patching up a castle In Eng
land."
From the time they were children,
living In adjoining houses. It had al
ways been understood between the
era and the Marsden families
t, when they arrived at a proper
age, Clive and Gladys should become
man and wife. Clive and Gladya bad
always so understood It since they
could remember.
Gladya was only twenty, you know
—and Sir Benton was a most pre
sentable young man. He had come
tb‘ hrttteU 1 0 v Jwtf**
ductloa to the very best people and
was a quiet, unassuming youth of
good character.. Clive, after his row
with Gladys, bad gone off on s fish
ing expedition, telling her that, by
the time he got back, she would prob
ably have regained her senses. That
made Gladys a trifle “mad,” as can
be imagined. She #ould become Lady
Benten-Sykee now just fbr spite, If
nothing else. Not that Sir Benton had
formally asked her to accept that po
sition, but be had looked It and. as
she thought, Intimated his intentions
pretty clearly. Several times he had
said: “Miss Powers, I have something
serious which I want to speak to you
about," and then, blushing and hesi
tating, had faltered: "Well, another
them. Here’s oen of the many state
ments from Clinton people. '
Mrs. C. H. Pearson, 51 A Lydia
Mill, says: “My hack was giving me
trouble. During tile day I was both
ered with a dull ache through my
kidneys that tired die out and for
a time I wasn’t, able to do a met
deal. I wee convinced my kidneys
were causing the trouble because
they didn’t act right. I stne for a
of Doan’s Pills after
in the paper.
■IPHP tions |
soon rid o fthe anhoyance and able
to go about feeling as well as ever.
I gladly endorse Doan’s for the help
thev gave me in so short a time."
60c, at all dealers. Foster-Milburn
Co., Mfrs., Buffalo, N. Y.
B.N. A. SMITH, of
Shaw, Miss., says
he can’t remember
beta? without Thedford’e
Bl&c£-Dr&ught liver med
icine since he and Mrs.
Smith began keeping
house, many years
“When we have
t did me lots < _
’When I go to town, I
look first to see hpw near
out of .Black-Draught We
are, and then get more.
from
jox of Doan's Pills alter reading
about them in the paper. I took
them according to directions and was
fthe anne
The secretary of a $25,000,000 oil
company in Texas is a woman.
Draught Is what we use
and we find it just splen
did. I had a bad case of
stomach trouble. I couldn't
bet enoiura and was very
weak. Everything I ate
hurt me, formed gaeaad 1
spit up my food. I would
feel stupider
didn't feel like
work. I knew what
i t had done in colds
and T began taking small
We are a good way
the doctor and keep our
home remedies ana the
ata^ne is
hundreds of __
keaaea, houaeketpon keep
Black-Draught oa the shea,
handy for use when
a houashold remedy to
oenstipetien, biUnuwieee.
•'--•“inn
A dose of
later on.
year shelf. Buy
Get a package today.
SPECIAL BARGAINS IN
MAGAZINE CLUBS
Until November 10th, 1924
JAS. W. CALDWELL
Phone 243
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■jnSBBBUBSBSBSBBBSBHBBSBBBBHBIBBIBBBI
time." Oh, Gladys was sure she had
only to say “Yes.’’
The violent and unreasonable man-
Columbia
OCT 0;BJE R
20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25
/
NIGHT>dJDAY
EVERYTHING THATiA BIG
STATE FAIR SHOULD HAVE
BETTER THAN EVER
THERE, WILL YOU
V
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fc-
ner In which Clive had acted when
she had told him of her decision to
become Lady Sykes had angered
Gladys—but yet she shed many tears
In secret when she thought of the im
petuous young man who was now
catching fish in the Block Island wa
ters. If he had really cared for her
he would have begged her to reconsid
er frerTlcctsttmrBut he didn’t. The
brute! And tften she cried some more.
Mrs. Powers talked with her daugh
ter, trying to bring her to reason.
But she was onl* half-hearted and
left the Interview with a secret feel
ing that It would qot be so had, after
fill, to be the mother-in-law of a real,
live baronet.^ Mr, Powers sputtered
and called his dear ctyld many.sorts
of an Idiot. But, ns usual in that
household, Simeon only acted In an
atMsory capacity. Gladys and her
mother formed the executive commit
tee. Gladys received n letter from
Clive which was written as If there
had never been any misunderstanding
between them. He told her how much
he was enjoying himself.
Still she told Kerseli that she was
going to accept the hand of Sir Ben
ton Sykes—whenever he got ready to
offer It. And this, she thought, would
be very soon. Two days before the
date fixed for the return of (’live to
New York, Sir Benton called upon
Gladys and when they were alone be
gan a little speech which he had evi
dently prepared carefully in advance.
“Miss Powers.” said he, “there Is a
matter concerning which T have been
wanting to speak to you for some
time."
Gladys-—now that the critical mo
ment had come—suddenly sulTerfd a
revulsion of sentiment. She had been
expecting a proposal from Sir Benton
and had made up her mind to accept
it. But now she made an about face.
“Sir Benton,” said she, “I am afraid
that what you are about to ask will
be Impossible for me to grant. I shall
always think of you ns a valued friend
and hope that you will so regard me.”
“I am very much disappointed.” re
plied £lr Benton, “for what 1 was go
ing to ask you would have meant a
great deal to me. My references ar<»
of''the best. I came to America look
Ing for an occupation. And I had
hoped that you would help me to get
the position of European agent for
/he wall-paper house conducted by
Mr. Marsden." Gladys hit her Ups
She was jflmost tempted to throw th*-
paper weight on the table before her
at this Ingenuous young man's head
But she replied calmly: “My (lenr Sir
Benton, I will be only too glad to con
vey to Mr. Marsden your request for
employment. I am quite confident
that as a wall-paper drummer you
would he a success.”
The baronet expressed his thanks
and withdrew. Clive came home and
Gladys told-him the whole story.
Sir Bentpk Is now the European
•gmummka AM?* end Je
4
been .msirted s year.
pu*+m Glairs
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Clard
New FaH
Coats and
LADIES’ COATS
New, Snappy Fall Coats, new styles, new materials.
You’ll like these garments.
$18.50 to $69,75
FALL DRESSES
New Fall Dresses of Silk and Wool. Call and try on
these Dresses. They have both quality and style.
You’ll find the most wanted colors here.
$19.75 to $49.75
LADIES’ SWEATERS
• ^
New Sweaters in the heavy shaker and brush wool.
They come in all shades.
$5.00 $12.50
l auhlns, s c
“A GOOD PLACE TO TRADE”
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